#‘why isn’t she at least bisexual uwu’

[lesbiansanemi]

Idk there’s also something to be said for the absolute distaste and hatred of lesbian headcanons in general in fandom spaces. Like never mind that these ppl can’t fathom how a woman would ever exist without being into men, they can’t even not get mad when someone says they think a fictional one doesn’t like men. Like you have such a hatred of lesbians you can’t handle someone else saying they think a fictional woman doesn’t fuck men. Like holy fuck

#‘why isn’t she at least bisexual uwu’ #it also ties into fictional women ALWAYS being headcanoned as bi or pan or whatever #but fictional men can be headcanoned as gay without near the push back #(in queer fandom spaces I’m not talking about cishet ones) #idk. I just think it’s amusing. funny. so silly. #it’s okay for someone to exclusively like men but not exclusively like women #we’ve always gotta center the men ya know ya know #sorry I have to have my weekly be bitter about male dominated fandom spaces fic you know how it is #kaz rambles

[unethicalexperiments]

SOOOOO this post has been in my drafts since i watched it, so i think dec 18-19-ish? and has been (mostly) unedited since so these are still my immediate reactions.

okkkkk actual archer post now. spoilers for the entire show and into the cold under the cut

i think the ending was like. i don’t wanna say “cop out” but, kind of out of left field? it felt very disconnected from the seasons leading up to it but i honestly can’t say i’m mad about it because i don’t think the post coma seasons were very good comparatively speaking to seasons 1-5. yes i know adam reed stopped writing for the show during/after season 10. i know he got tired of the setup after season 4 and that’s why we got that mess that was seasons 5-10 which was VERY up and down in terms of writing. i do, overall, like the ending and i don't think they really could have gone in another direction.

the agency was always going to have to be shut down. we’ve known since season 2 there were issues with keeping ISIS afloat, so i don’t think people really should have been surprised by that. i do appreciate that lana got the top job in the end, i don’t think archer himself would have enjoyed that job. her whole post-coma storyline with the other man i never really cared for, like yeah it does make sense for her to move on, especially with her young daughter, but robert was absolutely not the type of man lana would have been with and i thought that was bad writing. creating conflict and a solution (him being a billionaire) for the sake of creating conflict and a solution. i’m glad that ended when it did but it shouldn’t have been there in the first place imo lmao. i also want to say that while i’m not against the idea of lana and archer having a baby, i think they were destined to have some permanent tie in some way, but the way the show went about it was god awful. lana taking archer’s sperm from a bank gave fans another reason to hate the one black woman in the show, and then to give aj little to no screen time or story line after made it all feel like it was all just there to make people hate lana more. but also, what the fuck are you gonna do with a baby in a show about spies? it should have been saved for the end of the show and again i feel like this was adam reed just trying to get out of writing spy stuff (which he said regularly in interviews he grew tired of it, which, fair, but come on).

throughout the entire show pam’s character has changed so fucking much but she remained relatively consistent with regards to who she is as a person throughout. from very early on (at least season 2 if not 1) we’re shown how physically strong she is and how she actually makes a good agent. there were weird things thrown in about her personal life that i found very inconsistent with regards to her romantic/sexual relationships though. our first look into pam’s sex life is… very uncomfortable to say the least. she’s written as a sexual predator and commits assault on screen at least once in the early seasons for a “haha sexual assault is funny” moment that is never brought up again. on top of that, we’re also introduced to her being “undesirable” sexually which very quickly changes to “she fucks and she fucks WELL”. we’ve also known from the start she’s bisexual as she comes onto lana like episode 3, but then there’s a random moment in season 11 or 12 or whatever of her asking a random one off character to “be her polyamorous primary” and then this is never seen or talked about again and it feels like diversity for the sake of “oh look at us we have diversity” which i fucking hate. she’s a woman who fucks well and often and forced moments like that feel forced. sorry.

i do not actively participate in archer “fandom” bc let’s be real there isn’t really one lol HOWEVER the way other fans talk about cyril is fucking bizarre to me. ppl on here act like hes "uwu innocent cinnamon roll baby" when he's just as complicit as everyone else. we know he’s not a very good person from the start and that has been consistent throughout the show. i really don’t have much to say about him here he’s always been a pathetic character (and that voice actor whose name i can never remember is very good at those types, i really like him in what i've seen) and the kinda guy who is always going “but what about meeeee?!” and i think his personality brought a nice balance to the gigantic egos he shared the room with, as he still has a giant ego but he can’t really voice it, and he turns kind of incel-y because of it. i really enjoyed that about him, he was shitty in a different way, y'know? i will say the finale was kind of weird with him, i keep going back and forth on whether or not i like him not really getting a clear ending.

now to talk about cheryl. this has to be one of the most bizarre character story arcs of all time. she goes from a timid secretary who wants to fuck archer to a billionaire with (and i hate this word but i cannot think of a better one atm) psychopathic behavior causing destruction for the sake of causing destruction. she has this really interesting and crazy backstory that we first hear about in season 2 that develops over time, but starting like, season 5/6ish, it’s a slow flanderization of her character from a kind of hidden evil who is smarter than she lets on to a total idiot who likes to set things on fire. and oh! look at that she hears voices sometimes too! haha isn't psychosis funny! aren't people with psychosis terrible and evil? isn't that funny? anyway. this gets SIGNIFICANTLY worse post coma (same with krieger, i’ll get to that later) to basically someone who shouldn’t be outside of a hospital. it was really disappointing and even in the finale a few characters outright say “has she gotten worse?” pointing out in universe the flanderization (or possibly intentional writing?) which just feels shitty. also, her being a country music star for one season and then outright forgetting about it the next (explicitly said in the show she has no memory of it!) is just bad writing.

as for krieger, i feel very much the same way as i do about cheryl. he started off as a weird, kinda background character who turns out to be this mad scientist with ties to malory since childhood. some of his inventions are successful, some aren’t, but he did actually do stuff. as the show went on (post season 4) you also start to notice the degradation of his character like with cheryl, turning him into a bumbling idiot. he got a moment of his old self in the finale which was nice, and the little nod to him and cheryl possibly working together after was fun, but it’s no where near enough to make up for the way they both were treated for the past like 10 years in the show.

as for the man himself, i think he remained the most consistent throughout the show. we see character development, but not a lot, and i think that felt realistic. he’s still an asshole, he’s still a bad person, but he’s not as bad of a person anymore. i think he truly did remain the same character from the pilot to the finale. there were some moments in seasons 12-14 where i felt like he was getting more.. childish? almost? but the finale was him through and through. he always loved lana, he always loved katya, he always loved his daughter. i don’t think lana/archer could ever really be a viable endgame. we’ve seen them try, but they really shine as people, as parents, and as professionals when they have that cat-mouse dynamic and i think it was a good mirror to malory and nikolai from seasons 1/2. another thing, i know he said he didn’t care who his father was, but FUCK i wanted to know! i’m choosing to believe it was nikolai because adam reed had said that at one point that was the plan.

i also just realized i forgot to talk about zara completely. zara felt like, in ds9 when jadzia was killed because her actress had enough of rick berman, but they had one more season to do so they tossed ezri in there for the sake of having someone fill the spot. since malory was gone, lana took her spot, and zara was created to fit lana’s spot. i feel the same way about her as i do ezri dax, which is i really don’t care. sorry LMFAO. i understand why she was there but she didn’t add anything to the show to me.

now the finale itself. the whole “one last mission” thing was nice, it wasn’t mind blowing or anything but it was fine. i will say, i never felt like slater was archer’s real rival, i always felt like (pre coma seasons at least) it was barry. i think the ending of archer vs. barry would have been better but that’s just me. i think they fucked up a little going the route of making them friends in the end. and the whole both katya and barry being in the same cyborg body for some reason felt very weird and last minute, katya and barry didn’t end their relationship on good terms lol. AND THEN. archer having sex with the barry-katya hybrid caught me SO off guard. don’t get me wrong! i’m glad they put that in there but it was very 👁️👄👁️. unexpected to say the least lmfao was nice to confirm his bisexuality though? i guess?

while the finale covered a lot of recurring and repeat characters and storylines, i feel like there were some BIG ones that were left out. like, what the fuck ever happened with veronica dean?? the woman who shot archer, the reason he was in a coma for 3 years?? they mentioned her ONCE in season 11 in an off handed comment that “they were still looking for her”. ok so did they find her?? maybe it’s because i didn’t think the recent seasons were that great, but i thought the finale being centered around a fabian (was that his name? i genuinely don’t remember i’m not watching or reading wikipedia or anything while writing) storyline felt kinda lame too. whenever malory had something going on with a rival agency it felt fun but the whole IIA thing was incredibly boring to me. unfortunately no one could ever compare to malory's character in her terrible diva ways that i could never get enough of. and of course no one could do it besides jessica walter.

another thing is a nod to other early season stuff would have been nice. save for barry and katya, it was all post season 5. like woodhouse. or even a one off line about popeye. what about len trexler. rona thorne? was she ever mentioned again? they were relevant in the early seasons! idk. though i do wonder if we're better off without it, maybe the new writers would have fucked it up too much. the new writers probably don't even know who those characters were fghjfkdsgf. in short i feel like the ending forgot a lot about the beginning, and i think most fans would have enjoyed being reminded of the beginning.

anywayyyyyy this was long and ramble-y and probably incoherent but there we have it. after 14 years there goes my favorite stupid little show of all time. seasons 1-4 i can rewatch infinite times (and i'm not kidding when i say i've watched each episode no less than 30 times either actually fully paying attention or as background noise and somewhat paying attention) and will never get tired of. i enjoy season 5 and some of season 6. from there its a very mixed bag and i find it a little disappointing that a show that started off that strong went out kinda weak. i think i personally would have preferred the show ended after season 5 but i know that is not my choice to make. i don't even think they're (the later seasons) that bad, but they could have been so much better. in terms of adult animation this is still the one. and i don't even think i ever said anything about how much i always loved the art style. in the end, it will continue to hold a special place in my heart and be a shitty comfort show and i'm ok with that <3

#talking to myself #archer #archer fx #there. finally!

[g0th3artz]

The issue with Nica and Tiffany is not representation.

Normally I don’t really touch fandom discourse with a ten foot pole, especially not for a fandom that I haven’t actively been apart of since I was fourteen.

But this situation bothered me because of how people are treating it. I’ve seen people claim that we are either upset by this because we’re biphobic or because we can’t handle horror touching upon dark themes. 

But that’s not the issue at all? I’ll be frank, I don’t really give a fuck if you want Tiffany to be bi. Who you end up with, whether that person is a man, a woman, or identifies as something else, does not change your sexuality. The issue is that it just feels so forced. Especially given Tiff’s character, we know that she is devoted to Chucky to the extent that it’s unhealthy. But at least it’s treated as such. We’re shown time and time again that Tiffany and Chucky do AWFUL things to each other, Chucky kills her for fucks sake. They’re both horrible people, and at least with the Chiffany ship, people acknowledge that. 

With Nica and Tiffany, I have seen people left and right using this ship to victimize Tiff. People have this idea that being with Nica means that Tiffany is vulnerable deep down and just desperately wants to be loved. That suddenly she’s changing from her obsession with Chucky, and feels affection for Nica. This sounds like fanfiction. 

The representation is not the issue, it is the way you guys are all romanticizing it and acting like this somehow isn’t gross because it’s two women. Tiffany, if she actually was staying true to her character, is quite literally just using Nica for her own selfish purposes. Tiff is not all uwu soft because she suddenly has the hots for another girl, she literally murders people. It’s quite literally stated that Nica doesn’t even want to have sex with Tiffany, she just feels bad for her. Nica is quite literally just developing Stockholm syndrome. 

And sure, you could argue that it’s allowed to go down this non-con, abusive, path because it’s horror and the whole point of horror, but nobody is treating it like horror. The people behind the set themselves are trying to set this up in a way that humanizes Tiffany.. But like.. You all need to realize that just because someone comes out as bisexual, this does not just suddenly erase the fact that they’re not a good person. Tiff isn’t suddenly going to change who she is and all her ambitions because she has conflicting feelings towards Nica. 

And the fact that there are people screaming that they’re a lesbian power couple now is really gross. Abuse is same sex relationships already has an issue of not being taken seriously, don’t carry that trend into this. If you’re going to ship them, acknowledge that Chucky and Tiffany have been using Nica’s body for things without consent. Acknowledge that Tiff and Nica’s relationship is built on abuse, non-con, and breaking down another woman’s will. Acknowledge that Nica is a fucking victim, and that just because two women are getting together does not make it a good thing. Not all representation has to be good, queer people can absolutely do bad things. 

But I know that a lot of you would be upset if this was a straight relationship taking this route, so why does that suddenly change when it’s two women. People would be screaming it to the heavens if an abusive ship with man was this badly written and forced. If I see one more person argue that Nica and Tiff is more healthy, I am going to lose my mind 

It has no place in canon because it is written HORRIBLY. If you’re going to explore dark themes like these, at least make sure you’re not portraying the abuser as the victim for the love of god. 

Oh and for the record, we are not all a little queer to an extent. Maybe that was a tasteless joke, but that all but cements in my mind that this was nothing more than a poorly written afterthought that was tossed in to try and appeal to a queer audience. I am all for canon queer characters, but not when it feels this forced. And especially not when it’s cis men trying to write a wlw relationship and botching it this badly. Same sex relationships do not always = good relationships, and.. If you’re retconning a character that is meant to be a disgusting person’s whole personality to fit into a soft same sex relationship stereotype and completely ignoring the abuse then... that screams fetishization and I think that you need to take another look at how you, yourself treat the community. Treat it for what it is, don’t cram us into the stereotype where we’re soft widdle babies that can do no wrong.

Keep the same energy with abusive queer relationships that you do with straight abusive relationships.

And before anyone comes for me, I am literally the audience this is targeted to. 

#The fact that you guys think this is something that is well thought out baffles me #This is not Tiffany Valentine #Stop infantilizing her #she is just as bad as Chucky #being bi does not change this #chucky tv series #tiffany valentine #nica pierce #discourse #may delete this later #I'm just aghdgjhsggfsghs #what the fuck is wrong with all of you????

[takaraphoenix]

Movie Review: Happiest Season

Well, that sure wasn’t happy at all. Spoilers and a... not favorable dissection below.

Kristen Stewart was great, her character Abby was also highly likable! So was her best friend, so was one of the sisters of her girlfriend’s and the husband of the other sister.

But how do you make a movie - any type - about a couple and just... keep pointing out why this relationship really ain’t a good idea, to then end it with them engaged?

Literally anything to make Harper a likable character. Anything at all.

And even Abby’s best friend’s speech about coming out and how Harper’s coming out isn’t about Abby felt incredibly disingenuous.

Because the problem of this movie is not that Harper isn’t out.

The problem is Harper’s behavior about literally everything.

She lied to Abby about being out to her family, for months

She invited Abby to Christmas with her family, but only told Abby that she isn’t out when they’re halfway there

She made Abby go back into the closet by putting her into this position through her net of lies, with zero warning

She lied about having had a boyfriend, for just... no reason at all

She lied about her ex-girlfriend, from whom Abby learns that Harper completely threw her under the bus and pretended like she was some poor straight uwu victim of a gross lesbian harrassing her, just so Harper could save her own skin when people found the love-letters Harper got

She completely ditched Abby for the majority of this visit. A visit to people Abby didn’t know at all

She pretended like she got caged by Abby simply asking where she had been when Harper stayed out all night getting drunk

She told Abby they ‘needed a break’. While Abby is stuck there, at her family’s, where she knows no one. And only over the fact that Abby expressed that she got worried when Harper was out all night?

Just to then have the audacity to get jealous that Abby has befriended Riley. And she just continued getting jealous of her ex-girlfriend and her current girlfriend getting along, instead of being glad that Abby found at least one (1) person to spend time with

This movie did absolutely nothing to make Harper a likable or even redeemable character in this relationship. And then it pretended like The Big Problem was that Harper wasn’t out to her family.

No. Not being out was not the problem. Spending months lying to her girlfriend about being out, inviting her girlfriend to Christmas and only telling her that she is going to have to go back into the closet during this family visit when they are halfway there, being irrationally jealous and possessive and just literally lying the whole entire time about so many things, that’s the problem.

Being in the closet does not justify lying continuously to your girlfriend about so many things? How was it too much to ask to get a wholesome gay Christmas movie, why did I have to spend two hours watching one girl treat her girlfriend like shit and lie to her all the time, just for them then to get engaged. That’s... not rewarding. Neither was the forced outing; feelings on Harper’s personality aside, I am so tired of this trope of “shitty straight person forcibly outs gay person”.

Which also, there was just... no resolution about that at all? The parents immediately embraced the gay, even after the “life style” comments earlier, even after getting mad at Sloane for telling such bad lies about her sister. Nope, any and all homophobia was just instantly overwritten, there was no conflict. There was also no continued conflict about the fact that Sloane forcibly outed her. It’s just... family hugs and kisses.

That’s probably this movie’s biggest problem. It set up all of those conflicts and all of those problems - in the family, as well as the relationship - but in the end, everyone just hugs it better, without actually really... working through any issues or properly resolving anything.

I think would have actually enjoyed this movie had the conclusion been that Harper is actually bisexual, still has feelings for her high school boyfriend - which would at least explain why she lied about that - and saying that she felt the need to hide that from both her family and her girlfriend, ending with her actually embracing her sexuality and her and Abby absolutely breaking up because holy shit this relationship ain’t working at all; clearly you do not trust your girlfriend if you keep so many things from her. And then, in a flash forward in the end-credits we see them on the next Christmas, as friends, Abby there as Riley’s girlfriend, Harper there happy with Conner.

I don’t know, I’m just... very disappointed, this was not what I felt promised in the trailer. It looked like a wholesome lesbians working through this thing. I had assumed they were on the same page about things; that Abby knew, going into this, that the parents didn’t know. But the way this whole narrative was framed and how it was executed, it just... completely didn’t work for me.

#Happiest Season #Happiest Season (2020) #wlw Stuff

[stvpidinlove]

[ RONEN RUBINSTEIN, HE/HIM, CIS MAN ]  —  [ SHILOH ECKHAUS ]  is a child of  [ THANATOS ]  with the power of  [ DEATH NEGATION ] .  they were born in  [ 1994 ]  and have been in nemean lion since  [ 2010 ] .  with the change, they  [ HAVE GRADUATED FROM ]  the  [ STANDARD ]  role which makes sense since they’re usually  [ READING BIOGRAPHIES & WATCHING NATURE DOCS ] .  if you’d like to meet them try the  [ MOON ]  building .

anyway...i have a disease where i have to write angsty men regularly

BASICS

hometown: boone, north carolina

eye color: blue

hair color: brown

height: 5′10

sexuality: bisexual

birthday: november 7, 1994 ( scorpio )

BIO

i think...thanatos has a thing for damaged women, and another thing for women who just want to help others, and ruth eckhaus was both. he draws women in who either hate themselves or can find the good in him, which isn’t easy to find. thanatos was cold and often volatile but there was something in him to love. so she didn’t do anything wrong in falling for the literal personification of death, but she made a mistake when she got pregnant.

even if he had been mortal, ruth never thought he was the kind of man who would stick around, even less likely when the ultrasound revealed she was pregnant with twins. part of her was unsurprised, since he’d mentioned having a twin brother.

the twins were born after a hard, long labor, which ruth swore was ripping her apart inside. but she survived, and she was happy for two healthy babies, because she knew she could never put herself through that again.

she met a man when the twins were still young, who wasn’t bad, especially compared to the father of her children. but he said a similar mysteriousness and she often didn’t know where he was or what he was doing. it got better once they got married, but when the police came knocking asking about his whereabouts on the day a young woman was taken (and later killed) a few miles away, she didn’t have a good answer.

with very little evidence, her husband was sentenced to life in prison, and while she never once wavered in her belief of his innocence, it wasn’t as black and white for shiloh. the prosecution had presented a compelling argument, at least that’s what the jury had thought. and at the age of eight, shiloh might have agreed.

his already tenuous relationship with his step-father became even more strained, visiting prison regularly with his mother and sister, but as he got older, it became his choice and he didn’t often want to be there, in that place, seeing the only father he’d ever known like that.

shiloh had always been a quiet, slightly moody child, which only got worse once his father was sent away and his mother was forced to pick up the slack on top of paying the newly incurred legal fees. since shiloh and ariel had each other, they didn’t always notice how harried their mother was, or how isolated they had become at school, because no matter what they’d always have each other.

when the twins were fourteen, riding bikes but already dreaming of getting their permits, ariel challenged shiloh to a race and set off down the street. she looked behind her shoulder to jeer at him when she was hit by a car. she died almost immediately on impact, by which time the driver was long gone.

shiloh didn’t know about his power yet, or...not really. he’d once seen a dead baby bird, the sight twisting his stomach, a nausea which only grew stronger when the bird suddenly got up and started squawking for its mother. he wasn’t sure why the relief of being wrong about the bird made him feel worse, or why he had a headache for the remainder of the day.

but when he ran over to ariel and watched her breathe her last breaths, he grabbed her hand and begged her not to leave him. he’d never wanted anything so desperately in his life, and after a few minutes of crying, he was starting to feel faint himself. his breathing grew more and more shallow, as if the life was leaving his body, but then he saw ariel inhale. in fact, it was the last thing he saw before he blacked out.

he awoke in a hospital bed next to his sister, who by all accounts, was perfectly fine aside from some cuts and bruises. somehow, shiloh was the one sore all over and struggling to get air into his lungs. they looked at each other, simultaneously understanding what had happened, and quietly agreed not to tell anybody else.

but their mother, knowing the truth of their paternity, was immediately suspicious and terrified, so she sent them off to nemean lion the next year in the hopes that neither of her children would die before her.

RANDOM FACTS

sooooo yeah shiloh is an Emo Boy but can you blame him, no <3 maybe he’s valid but i’ll only say that once

basically he brought his sister back to life when they were kids and nearly died himself with the energy exerted and he’s never brought another human being back to life since (and doesn’t plan on ever doing it again)

i guess you could say he...respects the circle of life? he doesn’t want to play, ahem, god, so when someone dies he just accepts this as being a part of life. but ariel’s death was so sudden that he didn’t think before bringing her back, nor did he fully know what he was doing

but he’s pretty sure he could never survive without her and he doesn’t actually know, realistically, what he’d do if she ever died again

POSSIBLE CONNECTIONS

maybe someone he dislikes but is friends with ariel, or vice versa?! they’re both assholes so this seems unrealistic but uwu

that said, someone who wants to be his friend fsr, or just acts like one without him ever actually acknowledging their friendship /:

i suppose he could bond with someone over not knowing what the heck they’re doing here or what to do with their life or ahhhh!!

he’s been at nl for a decade so mb he do have at least one good friend who he’s almost actually kind of vulnerable around and knows him better than most people

someone who just likes to annoy him bc he is no fun but it entertains them to get on his nerves idk u kno the vibe

#the written at 5am energy of this :) #nlintro #𝙵𝙸𝙻𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙽𝙳𝙴𝚁 ( 𝒊𝒏𝒕𝒓𝒐 ) * shiloh

[tsc-living]

I'm not trying to come off as mean because I think your opinions are super valid and I actually really appreciate a different view on Cordelia, but why is it that when a male character in TSC is lovesick for a girl/guy it's romantic and adorable and said guy is seen as near perfect, but when a girl is it's seen as just being lovesick and weak/pathetic? I just don't really understand 😓

Lol no, I don't like it either, not when it's written the way Cordelia was written. I think I speak out more now, on Cordelia, because I have more confidence. I don't care if I lose followers, and I don't care if people come into my DMs and attack me for my thoughts. When I created this blog, I cared more about those things so I kept my mouth shut.

I'll also address the fact that obsession (even predatory behavior) from a man aimed at a woman has a long standing history of being romanticised and the predominantly female based readership of TSC may still be subscribed to that way of thinking. Paired with women's internalized misogyny (think: women's behaviour to Taylor Swift, Kristen Stewart and Jameela Jamil), Cordelia will automatically be less favourable to some. This is something I've considered in my own analysis of Cordelia and I still feel confident that my dislike of her character isn't based in that inherent idea. We must also address the often times creepy, near enough fetishization of mlm characters by females with the uwu cute baby gay boy attitude (think: Nico Di Angelo from the Riordanverse). If Alec, Magnus, Kit, Ty, Kieran, Mark, etc were obsessive over their respective Male counterparts to Cordelia's extent with James, it would just fuel that creepy attitude. We do kind of see it with Kit and Ty anyway. The only excuse I can respect for that is mlm or queer people in general appreciate the reality of the gay experience when you're young and still learning, and CC cut it off at the knees and we are desperately trying to keep it alive. I digress.

So please, without further adieu, have my opinions on Shadowhunter men in TSC.

James: Get your head in the game dude. Liked him in TFtSHA but he's gone downhill from there. 2/10

Matthew: Gives me anxiety, not sure if I like him being the cornerstone for bisexual representation, but we'll see. Has started yet another fucking love triangle. Again, I like him in TFtSHA but has gone downhill. 2/10

Alastair: I like him but that's just because I relate to him. Can't wait to find out more about myself him as the story goes on. 7/10 (docked points bc he's kind of a douche canoe).

Jace: Obsessive. As an adult (the age I am now when I read Chog), his love for Clary makes me supremely uncomfortable for 90% of the series. 3/10

Simon: Again, his teen angsty crush on Clary I can do without, but when he starts crushing on Izzy, it's not as obsessive and lovesick as it is with Jordelia. He has the vampire thing to think about, and the getting stuck in hell part of it, and there's more depth to his character (although not enough, let's be honest). 8/10

Alec: Manages to focus on things other than Magnus for thirty seconds. We even have the entirety of CoHF where Alec is suffering with his fear for Magnus' life, but we don't know that deep until we have the conversation between Jace and Alec. Good man, loved the fact he got some character development, cares more than just about his boyfriend. 10/10.

Will: Bro. His character all around is... a lot. He gets praised as this broody, beautiful, perfect type, but during my reread every time he waxed poetic about Tessa I rolled my eyes. He is just as bad as Cordelia, but I do think CC rounded out his character a little better eventually (I hope she does the same with Cordelia). I like Will in the glimpses we get of him as an adult and a father more than I like the Will in TID. 5/10 for TID, but overall 6/10

Jem: This man deserved so much more in depth character work, but at the very least he wasn't boiled down to 'I love Tessa and that's all I'm capable of'. He is driven by love, but he loves more than just Tessa. 9/10

Gideon & Gabriel: We don't get a lot of their side of the story and Gabriel is like 19 and dating a 15 year old so we're moving right along. 4/10 for Gideon (wish it could be more but we dont know hime) and 2/10 for Gabriel (because he did make me laugh).

Julian: I just... no. I don't like Blackstairs story very much. Julian kinda freaks me out and his obsession with Emma is A Lot™️. 4/10 (because he loves his family and has been through too much).

Mark: Hey look, a character that has a relationship and isn't entirely consumed by it. There's some poly confusion (like gay panic, but for polyam). I support him, and I wish him well. 7/10

Ty: Not sure he knows what's up. Good egg. Have yet to see his (in depth) POV of Kit so this could change, but so far he's pretty chill. 10/10

Kit: Get a grip, then get a clue. Is perhaps a little obsessive as the books wear on, but his character is balanced more in favour of trying to do what he needs to do and trying his best and that's less motivated by his (unacknowledged) crush. If he dissolves into a lovesick and obsessive character with little to no other personality traits, then his score will go down. 9/10.

#long post #cordelia discourse #asks #anon ask #unpopular opinion

[thedreadvampy]

can never decide which Wrong Interpretation annoys me more

Martin Is A Soft Scared Wooby Baby

Melanie Is Made Of Rage

Tim Is A Funny Sex Man Who Has Lots Of Sex

To elaborate:

Martin's main canonical traits beside trauma and being a caring person are biting sarcasm and intense bloody-minded stubbornness. His main role in the plot is to dive headfirst into danger because he's sick of being underestimated and talked down to (see: Jane Prentiss, Peter Lucas) and his fear is entirely proportional. and I hate that people just glance straight past that and see "cute stuttering fat man bring tea have crush"

Melanie is a person dealing with massive trauma and alienation who still keeps her anger under control literally all the time. I've already talked about this a bunch but that's what's there in the canon. she's angry all the time but she's very rarely actively aggressive, and when she is it's because she's cornered and is attacking defensively.

Tim jokes about flirting and people joke about him flirting information out of people. We know he's bi. In canon he has slept with Sasha at least once and beyond that? This isn't slutting around (and as a bisexual slut I'm not opposed to slutting around) this is...such a normal amount of banter? this is just how you talk to someone who's got a more easy and charismatic approach to work interactions than you, not necessarily how you talk to someone who Sleeps With Everyone. and whether or not he's a Slut it's so galling that the Tim Stoker Is Hot And Fucks idea has eclipsed. like. everything else about the character? he's mostly shown as a experienced and competent, bitter, and determined man who jokes with his friends and is socially confident. not as a Hot Funny Man Who Fucks.

and honestly all these interpretations are the same annoyance, which is Taking Everything Said In The Text As Canon. We're for the most part in the limited perspective of Jon and the other archival staff, and a lot of the story focuses learning how they (and therefore we) misjudged and underestimated their colleagues (Tim presented an easy breezy professional front but was single-mindedly thinking about Danny the whole time; Melanie is slightly cold to Jon and capable of violence but Jon barely knows her so unlike her friends he doesn't notice how much she's struggling and how strong her control is until it's pointed out to him; Martin has a core of steel that people constantly overlook because he's awkward and unsure; Jon initially seems like a very staid and sceptical and stable person but is disorganised and in conscious active denial; Elias is Elias)

and people look at these complex character arcs about people only seeing one part of a person when there's much more to them and go YEAH OK JON SAID MARTIN'S A BUMBLING CRYBABY SO HE'S BUMBLING. PEOPLE TEASE TIM FOR BEING A FLIRT WHEN HE TALKS TO CLIENTS SO HE'S A SEXY BEAST. MELANIE THREATENS SOMEONE WHO'S TRYING TO HARM HER SO SHE'S KNIFE WIFE UWU. everyone is entirely and only what they first appear!!!!!

and it's like. not everything we say about people we know is the Literal Factual Truth. that's why we need to apply a critical reading to stories with any sort of character viewpoint.

#normally i would not say wrong #but i mean that at the very least both wooby Martin and uncontrollable rage monster Melanie actively go against canon #tma #tma meta

[incarnateirony]

To the Nonnie that left a 5 parter in my inbox:

I am not going to post your nonsense.

I am not going to circulate your redefinitions, your new goalposts, your explicit deletion and argumentation against a far larger bulk of openly identified bisexual people, and your raging. I have already addressed these, and they boil down to “You’re literally destructive to the LGBT battle while you think you’re being progressive.”

I am not going to be part in circulation people’s own manufactured dialogues they put between their own ears anymore.

You are not promised platform. You are not promised my inbox. You are not promised any specific performance from LGBT creators within the demographic they are writing the text that would be representative in if you have paid *zilch* attention to their working conditions.

In fact, you literally don’t even get to fucking pretend you’re here about representation while *overtly denying the words, sociopolitical representation commentary, and working conditions of the LGBT creators you’re hot dogging right now*. Half the fucking fight is also behind the scenes GETTING LGBT CREATORS CREATING, even if at times they’re limited. 

Representation isn’t just on screen, diversity in writing crews behind scene is the fight, and if you pretend it isn’t just to gang bang LGBT creators for not performing how you want, without *ANY* fucking human consideration for why things are the way they are? *You, deep down, don’t give a shit about representation, or production team diversity, or LGBT creators -- you give a shit about getting exactly what you want exactly the way you want without even recognizing that may not be universal to LGBT people as proven by my notifs right now -- and largely with the reductionist point of wanting to win against trolls on the internet at which point YOU HAVE LEFT THE REPRESENTATION WHEELHOUSE (x); or if you do truly believe what some rando -- probably a woman, rather than the LGBT male POV -- said, you need to DRAMATICALLY RE-ALIGN AND CONSIDER YOUR POV*

“The whole idea of representation” that you have is close, but still a made up thing. It’s what perfect representation is. It’s not what the battle is. It’s never been what the battle is.

So just because you’ve dreamed up, say, a GA opposed to you, while the GA openly fucking talks about all this shit (right down to “marriage/dark point in the romance/divorce/breakup), on non-fansite major news publications, rather than fangirls that are scared of losing their website traffic in this fucking bog of bitterness, liars, extortionists and tinhats?

It doesn’t fucking matter.

Text is text is text. Queer text is queer text no matter how upset you get on if it was *visible* enough for you. That will continue to stay true. It will continue to be true when you make GA monsters in your head that don’t exist anywhere in reality. It will continue to stay true when you want to argue with a clout monkey that doesn’t even believe what they say. It’s going to be true. 

It’s fine to want more visible text. That IS the nature of the fight. The nature of the fight is NOT deleting low visibility text. And i’m going to ask you to PLEASE, FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS FUCKING HOLY, ACTUALLY EDUCATE YOURSELF ON LGBT MEDIA HISTORY AND THE REPRESENTATION BATTLE.

Not just a random link convenient to someone’s article that vague blogs the general history. Actually educate yourself if you’re going to get in this fight because HOLY SHIT the children that have tried have *MISERABLY FUCKED UP* and then quite unfortunately normalized that fucking up, that everybody thought it was the new brand of woke because of herd mind.

If you’ve internalized enough phobia from the abusive manipulations within this fandom that you’ve convinced yourself bisexual people are *SO DAMN INVISIBLE* that nobody gets what’s going on while the GA is all “SHIT MAN THEY GOT A DIVORCE T_T”, that’s a you thing.

I am not your therapist. I am not your mother. I can not *force* you to get in touch with what the GA, or the creatives, or anyone else has said on anything related to this content, because I’ve been blogging it all and here you are, clearly not reading any of it. I can not force you to stop erasing LGBT text you, personally, nonniemcnonface, don’t like the visibility of. BUT I CAN STRONGLY ENCOURAGE IT.

But nobody owes you anything. Not my inbox. Not the platform on my blog. Not *your, specific, preferred, very precise point of view*. When you are a middle aged LGBT cis man raised in the 80s in patriarchal environments, and/or hold a great deal of conversation explicitly with the demographic and its representation in question, and by that I mean not 1, 2, 3, or even just 10 LGBT men within a step of that demographic. Because that’s the story of the character being told. It’s not *your* story. It’s a story you may resonate with depending how close to it you are. But *that* is what representation is: creating a universal platform of diverse, queer stories until it is saturated into the media to such an extent you *will* eventually find someone that ticks all your demographic boxes when you turn on your TV (be that race, gender, sexuality, religion, disability, or whatever else.) Demanding everyone’s unilateral demands be met when they aren’t even in the intersectional demographic isn’t representation. It’s tokenization. It’s the exact same way we end up with stereotyped gays to try to fit everyone’s “visibility” wants. It’s why there IS such a problem with LGBT male and, most explicitly, bisexual male representation. You are making half of the problem unto yourselves.

Until then, you don’t get to talk over those people. No matter how many anons you send thinking it sounds *gr8* because you haven’t read the entire discussion, you just got *mad* at part of it and didn’t want to introspect. That? That’s a problem.

Let’s say you work at Subway and they say you can only put 6 olives on a footlong without charging extra. Your boss vaguely holds that up but doesn’t micro count your olives so sometimes you give them 7 or 8 because you feel bad, and you want to give as much as you can to the customers. But if corporate notices somehow you’re burning through a shit ton of olives, it doesn’t matter what your intent is. It doesn’t matter if your manager agrees. If corporate comes down and tells you to stop putting down extra olives, you have a choice to completely quit/be fired from making sandwiches for people or to comply. Or, at least, to wait long enough to squeak new extra olives in.

*WelComE tO thE coRporAte chAIN and AduLT reALitY* -- Bobo sitting here piling as many olives on as he can until magically suddenly stopping for a year at a time and then y’all are bitching because he didn’t put the whole assed olive tree on your sandwich. When you get up to the counter, and start throwing a goddamn shitfit, you are now Karen. Don’t be Karen.

And no, Karen demanding that if she can't have as many olives as she wants then nobody should get any olives and to stop putting down olives is not anywhere in touch with functional reality.

And UNTIL you learn to pay attention to what the LGBT cis male raised in the 80s middle aged author on crew says on *this specific topic*, who was writing on sociopolitical LGBT representation issues probably since you were in *diapers*, and the methodology and struggles therein? You don’t really get a say. Once you’re able to sociopolitically contend with what that very author postured about representation *16 years ago* and have an equally well addressed set of points, then you can at least hold debate with his ideas. Until then, this is “WHAT I WANT BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

Go away.

Like god fucking damn Bobo “I stand in front of ICE walls”, “fuck every candidate but Bernie sanders” Berens, highly progressive left wing sociopolitical queer author still fucking understood incrementalization 16 years ago can you all fucking CATCH UP?

He didn’t fucking like it, but he understood it. He addressed it as a necessary evil that has been formative in our process and progress and expansion in visibility. You don’t have to like it either, but just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you can’t *understand* why it works like that. Just like “text that isn’t visible enough for you is still text”, “real world issues and methods you don’t like are still real even if you don’t like them.” Bobo got it. Your turn. Cuz he doesn’t have to like his working conditions. But he can work through them the best he can. And addressed this many moons before ever writing his first SPN episode that was the first recorded time a showrunner told them to lean into it being played like lovers. Yeah. That? That was Bobo’s episode. In fact, 99% of the shit y’all uwu about is Bobo’s. Steve. Collette. The mixtape. The breakup. Gosh golly gee it’s almost like he’s fighting his ass off to tell you a story in what incremental methods he’s allowed and you’re all just trying to fuck him for it. Hell even this episode in question, Jeremy’s, Jeremy went out of his way to thank Bobo for all his guidance and help.

We’ve made progress via incrementalization, and just because you can name a few other shows that have entirely different bankrolling, marketing, distributions, demographics, that HAvE gAy shIT doesn’t mean shit. You don’t think every product a store sells comes from the same production line in the same premises with the same materials and the same target audience when they sell a wide brand of merchandise, do you? I promise you Great Value macaroni is managed and distributed differently than LED light bulbs and bicycles. These are not the same products.

The presumptuous, self-serving, personalized and franky manufactured wants and demands cloaked in a representation suit while choosing to do active harm to what progress we have -- intentionally ignorant to the actual representation battle and imagining what it is, and is like, and is about -- literally talking over the long-standing voicebox of an LGBT creator making the content who has been ENGAGED. IN THIS FIGHT. SINCE MOST OF YALL. WERE IN KINDERGARTEN? It’s fucking gross. It’s manipulative. It’s abusive. Maybe you’ve been manipulated into not understanding that, and you really believe what you say, I really don’t fucking know. But I do know you need a HUGE crash course in HOW THIS ALL WORKS and WHAT THE TARGET POINTS AND METHODOLOGICAL TARGETS ARE.

There is no magic clap on clap off bullshit. That isn’t how. It works. If it worked like that, we wouldn’t HAVE a fucking fight. (Imagine thinking that critically. Please, I beg you.)

[esquissers]

                                  ◟ believe   it   or   not   ,   i   am   indeed   a   mess   &   unfortunately   ,   you   are   being   introduce   to   me   sFKSDFJ   .   in   all   seriousness   ,   i'm   cc   ,   nineteen   from   the   cst   tz   with   she   /   her   preferred   pronouns   .   this   is   a   new   muse   that   i've   pulled   a   little   bit   of   inspo   from   other   muses   ,   but   i'm   trying   :)   something   :)   (   not   )   new   !   pip   is   a   cute   lil   nickname   but   she's   ...   not   cool   ,   to   say   the   least   .   pls   LIKE   this   if   you'd   like   to   plot   &   i'll   come   to   you   ,   or   ,   lmk   if   you   prefer   plotting   on   d*scord   !

                                           stats  /  wanted  connections  /  pinterest

━━ (   jung   jinsoul   +   cis   female   +   twenty-one   )   oi   ,   have   you   seen   philippa   ‘pip’   bae   around   ?   she   lives   in   flat   17   in   bedroom   4   ?   i   was   meant   to   meet   them   this   morning   at   bean   me   up   before   our   lecture   but   she   didn’t   show   .   no   ?   well   ,   shit   .   if   you   do   see   them   ,   can   you   tell   them   i’m   looking   for   them   ?   they’re   a   3rd   year   architecture   student   from   nafplio   ,   greece   &   you’ll   know   it’s   them   because   they   might   just   remind   you   of   gold   framed   glasses   left   in   the   library   ,   playing   the   sims   on   your   laptop   during   lectures   ,   a   wall   full   of   half-finished   pencil   sketches   ,   lemon   water   ,   climbing   onto   rooftops   &   the   dream   of   building   something   better   if   that   helps   at   all.just   be   careful   ,   she   can   be   a   little   machiavellan   ,   hubristic   &   arriviste   sometimes   .   —-   oh   don’t   look   like   that   ,   they’re   usually   erudite   ,   habile   &   tactical   most   of   the   time   .

𝓲.     𝕒𝕓𝕣𝕚𝕕𝕘𝕖𝕞𝕖𝕟𝕥   .

full   name   :   philippa  bae  /  bae  soo  ah  nickname(s) :   pip  ,  suah  ,  pippa age   :  twenty  -  one gender   /   pronouns  :  cis  gendered   female   /   she  /  her  /  hers sexuality   :  bisexual  /  biromantic hometown   : nafplio   ,   greece major   :   architecture inspo  :  annabeth  chase  ,  regina  george  ,  macey  mchenry faceclaim :  jung  jinsoul

fun facts : doesn’t   talk   about   her   dad   but   will   mention   every   chance   she   gets   that   he’s   ex   mi6   ,   can   speak   almost   six   languages   but   doesn’t   speak   any   of   them   ...   u   know   ?   ,   major   abandonment   issues   &   for   what   ,   can   whistle   for   hours   without   stopping   ,   carries   around   multiple   sketchbooks   on   her  person   at   all  times   ,   is   mean  :(   takes   out   unresolved   anger   on   everyone  around   her  ,   got   kicked   out   of   the   library   her   first   year   for   starting   a   fight   with   a   librarian   ,   loud   opinions   ;   mean   words   ,   is   really   good   at   drawing   /   painting   but   only   Sketches   because   painting   is   reserved   for   ‘   pure   inspiration   ’   ,   should   be   an   art   major  but   doesn’t   think   she   needs   a   degree  in   drawing

aesthetic :  drowning   just   below   the   surface   of   an   ice   cold   river   ,   being   unable   to   hear   the   birds   chirping   in   the   morning   due   to   the   irrevocable   anger   ,   breaking   pencils   because   you’re   pressing   down   too   hard   ,   wind   so   cold   it   feels   like   it’s   cutting   into   skin   ,   a   lone   glacier   wandering   the   abandoned   waters   ,   a   forgotten   lighthouse   in   the   wreckage   of   ships   it   failed   to   protect   &   friends   are   family   despite   the   way   you   treat   them   .

𝓲𝓲.     𝕔𝕙𝕣𝕠𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕝𝕖   .

mom   doesn’t   get   much   of   an   explanation   ,   why   her   lover   swerves   in   &   out   of   her   life   so   jarringly   .   instead   ,   she’s   given   a   child   ,   someone   that   looks   a   lot   like   the   suave   man   who   visits   every   few   months   from   business   &   tells   her   that   she   loves   her   .   he’s   the   first   one   to   call   philippa   ‘   pip   ’   &   it   only   sticks   because   she   lets   it   ,   even   if   she   hates   the   name   almost   as   much   as   she   hates   him   .

pip   loves   her   dad   ,   maybe   a   bit   more   than   the   upset   mom   who   always   watches   over   her   &   ruins   her   fun   .   dad   ,   he   teaches   her   different   languages   &   how   to   find   a   killer   on   the   big   ,   intricate   maps   he   brings   homes   .   he’s   the   one   to   gift   her   a   sketchbook   &   a   box   of   special   pencils   ,   the   one   to   encourage   her   to   build   a   world   made   of   lead   &   her   imagination   .

he   doesn’t   stay   for   too   long   ever   ,   but   he   always   returns   &   she   always   waits   for   him   dutifully   .   mom   knows   now   ,   but   she   won’t   tell   pip   anything   .   all   she   does   is   make   sure   pip   knows   how   to   fight   dirty   &   how   to   make   sure   her   underhand   stings   .   ‘   women   fight   differently   ,   soo   ah   ,   ’   she   tells   pip   .   ‘   your   dad   –   you’re   different   from   him   .   you   have   to   learn   things   differently   .   ’

there’s   only   so   much   mom   can   put   up   with   .   pip   wakes   up   one   day   to   find   a   note   from   her   mom   (   written   in   korean   ,   the   one   language   she   struggles   with   learning   despite   her   ancestry   )   that   reads   that   she’s   gone   .   she’s   done   &   that   her   dad   brings   too   much   into   her   life   that   she   can’t   deal   with   .   he’s   not   the   man   she   thought   she   loved   ;   &   apparently   ,   neither   was   pip   .   she   wasn’t   enough   for   her   mom   .

pip   learns   quickly   she’s   not   enough   for   her   dad   ,   either   .   thirteen   years   old   ,   multi-lingual   &   left   in   the   world   on   her   own   .   dad   sends   money   &   he   sends   letters   ,   mostly   though   ,   he   sends   empty   promises   .   ‘   i   promise   you’ll   understand   one   day   .   i   promise   i’ll   explain   .   i   promise   i   love   you   .   ’   but   he   doesn’t   show   up   &   he   doesn’t   come   to   collect   .   he   sends   her   a   passport   &   tells   her   to   live   the   way   she   wants   .

online   ,   she   finds   a   good   enough   school   that’ll   get   her   where   she   wants   to   go   in   the   future   .   she   completes   courses   while   running   from   a   past   she   doesn’t   know   anything   about   .   strangers   ask   her   where   her   parents   are   ,   she   learns   how   to   lie   .   men   ask   her   how   old   she   is   ,   she   learns   how   to   con   them   into   working   for   her   .   women   ask   her   why   she   isn’t   love   ,   she   learns   how   to   wage   wars   &   win   .

seventeen   ,   pip   has   spent   time   all   around   europe   on   her   own   .   her   dad   still   sends   money   ,   but   he   doesn’t   send   letters   anymore   .   she   stopped   replying   a   while   ago   ,   but   he   still   signs   the   bank   statements   with   a   heart   .   on   her   ‘   graduation   ’   day   ,   she   gets   a   gift   in   the   mail   –   a   sketchbook   ,   a   box   of   special   pencils   &   a   letter   –   explaining   everything   .  

dad’s   a   spy   ,   he’s   dangerous   &   lethal   &   he   has   enemies   that   don’t   know   of   her   existence   .   mom   was   paranoid   &   abandoned   ,   left   to   her   own   devices   so   she   left   .   he   tells   her   everything   except   why   he   never   came   to   get   her   ,   why   his   life   was   more   important   than   hers   &   why   he   didn’t   love   her   enough   .   she   burns   the   letter   ,   along   with   her   sketch   of   him   .

she   forgets   what   he   looks   like   ,   she   forgets   what   mom   looks   like   &   she   rids   her   mind   of   them   .   eighteen   &   in   paris   ,   accepting   her   dad’s   gracious   checks   (   which   ,   shouldn’t   be   made   on   a   spy’s   salary   ,   but   she   won’t   complain   )   when   she   decides   it’s   time   to   go   back   .   one   year   wasted   ,   she’s   spent   in   paris   drinking   wine   &   bedding   lovers   .  

small   town   ,   obscure   location   &   a   good   reputation   .   larnswick   university   welcomes   her   in   with   open   arms   &   there’s   her   fresh   start   ,   even   if   her   past   will   never   get   away   from   her   .

𝓲𝓲𝓲.     𝕕𝕚𝕤𝕡𝕠𝕤𝕚𝕥𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

exterior   .   she’s   ruthless   ,   a   wolf   loved   by   a   silent   god   of   war   that   watches   her   fight   battles   .   raised   by   a   silent   war   ,   she   knows   that   in   order   to   get   things   done   ,   she   has   to   make   the   first   move   .   outgoing   ,   courageous   &   always   prepared   ,   pip’s   nothing   short   of   a   monstrous   war   general   ,   comparable   to   hurricanes   that   rip   land   apart   because   it’s   in   the   way   .   blunt   ,   sharp   &   cutting   ,   she’s   no   stranger   to   fighting   dirty   &   hurting   with   words   .   any   words   can   be   used   to   describe   her   ,   except   maybe   civil   ,   or   kind   ,   or   gentle   .

interior   .   lonely   &   a   little   bit   scared   of   an   earth   that   never   wanted   her   .   when   is   it   going   to   open   up   ,   take   her   away   because   she   doesn’t   really   belong   ?   always   the   one   to   end   things   so   she   doesn’t   get   hurt   ,   she’s   never   vulnerable   because   that’ll   end   badly   .   non   committal   ,   it’s   surprising   she’s   stayed   in   this   place   for   too   long   –   she’s   spent   five   years   of   her   teenagehood   running   from   place   to   place   .   selfish   &   cunning   ,   pip   comes   first   ,   because   that’s   what   she’s   learned   to   do   to   survive   .

midway   .   talented   ,   tactical   &   intelligent   .   there’s   a   lot   of   talent   in   her   fingers   ,   the   ability   to   mimic   life   with   a   few   pencil   strokes   .   she   possesses   a   need   to   build   something   permanent   ,   something   better   than   the   life   she’s   lived   &   she   doesn’t   know   why   ,   she   doesn’t   know   if   it’ll   bring   her   joy   –   perhaps   just   buying   a   cottage   by   the   sea   will   fulfill   her   life   .   pip   is   talented   ,   gifted   by   apollo   &   cursed   by   ares   .

𝓲𝓿.     𝕔𝕠𝕟𝕔𝕝𝕦𝕤𝕚𝕠𝕟   .

                                 ◟ uwu   ,   tysm   for   reading   this   my   favorite   people   !   all   my   wc   are   on   the   page   linked   above   ,   but   if   nothing   strikes   u   we   love   brainstorming   in   this   house   !   love   u   all   &   can't   wait   to   write   /   plot   w   u   !

#theflats:intro #・ 。 ◟ 𝒑𝒊𝒑 ┊ development . #OKAY THIS IS REALLY LONG OKAY #also ::: this might be dif. to view on the theme & if it is add /mobile to the end of the url !

[yoshizora]

a LOT of random fire emblem three houses thoughts that are too much to put on twitter and also the fandom is already a dumpster fire 

note that i have played edelgard’s route, lions route, and have just started the deers route. some spoilers below obvs

- edelgard’s route being shorter than all the other ones is because she’s the most efficient at winning a war but ALSO the writers were just being unfair despite her being marketed hard as the face of 3h 

- the hatred for her feels very one-sided despite the game’s overall theme of having no perfect flawless lords. dimitri is written as a victim of his suffering and therefore we should sympathize with him and agree with his intense need for vengeance (at least before he comes to his senses) while edelgard openly does questionable things that we have to ponder and consider even as we fight alongside her 

- edelgard is also a victim! but she is not written as one! she suffered from a terrible childhood where like, all her siblings died and she was experimented on horribly and painfully, and this made her into a very ambitious and driven young woman but also someone who’s very distant and closed-off. the only person she really opens up to is byleth. and lysithea if you do their supports. like ffs she doesn’t like rats because of the trauma from being locked up underground where she’d constantly see rats scurrying around 

- blue lions route is the white catholics route

- rhea is sketchy as fuck but i like her anyway and i’m saving her route for last

- flayn and seteth memes are A+ 

- i absolutely do not blame tara platt for not participating in the twitter popularity meme wars among the vas, idk if she’s just busy with more work or if she’s deliberately keeping herself back. you know what i noticed? the blue lions and golden deer fans rarely ever go after each other. there is a tendency of the non-eagle aligned fans to go straight for the accusations of fascism and nazism and talking about edelgard as if she’s supposed to be an irredeemable villain when she. is. not. wtf

- edelgard is a bisexual morally-grey female lord who wields an axe and is an armored unit and she has gone through suffering but that suffering made her stronger while simultaneously compromising part of her empathy/compassion and that’s what makes her a compelling character. she fights for the separation of church and state!! she fights to dismantle a caste system based on nobility and crests!! like, holy fuck. hate her if you want but don’t call her a one-note villain. jesus fuck i hate the fandom 

- sylvain’s character feels like he was written by an incel........? “hot sexy prodigious noble boy was ~betrayed~ and mistreated by wimmin who just wanted him for his dick and crest!!!! womemn are terrible!!!!! this is why he treats women like dirt but they all thirst for him anyway and u should too uwu he’s just a jaded boy uwu look at how hot he is uwu dont forget that it’s wumens fault that he’s like this UWU” 

- ingrid is a good character shut up

- if you hate ingrid brandl galatea then you’re not allowed to like jill fizzart or soren 

- dimitri should have been the villain of edelgard’s route. we should see how far he goes with his disturbing violent personality when HE’S left without guidance, as edelgard was in his route, because tbh it’s not exactly fair that edel gets demonized in the other routes but dimitri and claude are always the “good guys” (or just bystanders). this isn’t me hating on dimitri i just think the writing favors him very much and tries too hard to keep him in the light of a traditional fe lord who’s the Good Guy who’s always right 

- but also dimitri was a fucking hypocrite when he argued against edel that she shouldn’t push her ideals onto others because the church that he was defending executes people for dissenting. this is resolved in the epilogue when seteth stops being such a prick and rhea retires but still 

- edel obviously wasn’t the true villain of lions route!!! did literally everyone else not notice the slithery dark ppl in the final map!!!! they were pulling the strings and yanked edel to that tipping point because byleth wasn’t there as they are in her own route where she manages to stick to her ideals without going batshit!!!! 

- so what if i’m stanning edel, she’s a very compelling character 

- catherine and shamir are lesbians 

#i just needed to get most of this off my chest lmao #fe3h discoursetheque

[niqhtmares]

( adelaide kane, cis female, she/her, 24 ) · for a loner, i’d call you lucky for making it this far. i heard from another group of travelers that your name is lily erso and you’re a virgo who used to live in washington, dc. i thought you’d be a little more worse for wear, but considering you’re faithful, kindhearted, and quiet, i guess that’s what’s keeping you alive. pre-apocalypse weren’t you a college student ? anyone ever tell you that you remind them of that song — unwritten by natasha bedingfield. god i miss spotify. ( sitting alone in a library, having earphones in to not avoid conversation, crumped love letters ).

hey, guys!! i’m sora uwu i’m 23 yrs old, goes by she/her pronouns, and living in the est. i guess some things to know about me is that i love food, anime, and disney. i wish i was playing overwatch also bc i’m starting to miss it tbh. + you have no idea how happy i am to have finally finished this intro tbh, but i’m v excited to be playing lily. ♡

i. about

when people look at lily, she may look as if she’s the happiest girl in the world. she had her parents, went to good schools, and had a decent group of friends. however, on the inside, she felt like a bird in a cage with the door covered in locks. it was obvious why her older brother, frank, left when she was around nine and she wasn’t entirely surprised. sad? definitely, but not surprised. she considered leaving and only continued to stay for multiple reasons. one of them was family. after seeing frank leave, she assumed their parents would be devastated to have another child leave home and she couldn’t think of that happening without being sad. the other reasons were one, she knew she wouldn’t be able to handle being on her own and two, family meant a lot to her, so she couldn’t leave. it made her grew to be quiet and obedient though. she never argued, back-talked, and became dependent toward them. for years, she dealt with it and only kept hiding how she truly felt. even up to now.

once the apocalypse happened in 2014, she was already a 20 year old college student and with her brother visiting, what turned out to be a sweet visit became a nightmare in terms of the situation happening around them. she wasn’t made for the apocalypse, yet was thankful each day that her brother was with her. at least, that’s how she completely felt at first. over the years, she began to feel restricted once again. as if history was repeating itself. lily knew he was only being overprotective and appreciated it. despite that, she currently has a mixture of feelings. the one thing she feels certain about is still hoping for the best for their future.

ii. details

pinterest

aesthetic

polaroids scattered across the room, sitting alone in a library, carrying a camera 24/7, having earphones in to avoid conversation, the color blue, laying on a blanket to stare at the stars for the night, forcing a smile on her face in front of her parents, crumpled love letters

traits

compliant, faithful, kindhearted, quiet, reticent

style

she loves anything blue, so she’ll have blue skirts, blue sweaters, blue tops, etc. aside from that, she prefers wearing skirts, pinafore dresses, overalls, and anything denim

misc

her favorite color is blue

her favorite animal are red foxes

she’s passionate and has a love for nature and animals. she enjoys stargazing and most likely volunteered at animal shelters when she was in college

one hobby that she’s always been interested in was taking photographs. she received a polaroid camera on her sixteenth birthday and since then, she’s been using it frequently. she even brought it along with her, including some photos, because of how much she wasn’t able to let it go

as much as she wants to talk about the past, she chooses not to. simply because to her, what’s the point in talking about what happened when there’s more things to worry about now? there are definitely some aspects of her past life that continues to bother her to this day, but keeps it to herself instead

for years, she kept her sexuality hidden from her parents and the world, including her brother. even now, she still hasn’t told anyone

the reason why she continues to be so kind, gentle, and optimistic is because even though there’s an apocalypse happening, she still thinks there should still be nice people in the world and personally, she just isn’t able to hurt an actual human being. she tries to see the best in people and wants to believe things will get better

after she finally moved out to go to college, her first decision was to get a few tattoos. although, she does hide them when visiting her parents

she has this on her left ribs

this on her right wrist

and this on the back of her right arm

info

name: lily sandra erso

age: 24

zodiac: virgo

birthday: august 31, 1994

hometown: washington, dc

gender: cis female

sexual orientation: ❪ closeted ❫ bisexual

tl;dr a kindhearted girl who keeps most of her feelings to herself, but she’s v sweet and wants to see the best in ppl

#aela.intro

[dcmhnallach]

demiboy — ever hear people say APOLLO AMORETTO looks a lot like NICK ROBINSON? I think THEY/HE is about 22, so it doesn’t really work. The GRAPHIC DESIGN major is a JUNIOR that is from LIVINGSTONE, VT. They can be ADROIT, but they can also be INDELICATE. I think APOLLO might be A TIER 2 SHEPHERD. They are living in KIERAN. ( snot goblin. 20. EST. she/they. )

ok so i lied and this is after midnight. sue me. his background is a lil inspired by logan from veronica mars so like, sue me 2x. dnjkfmgh but !! give this a LIKE so i can come MESSAGE U FOR PLOTS !!!

TRIGGER WARNING - DEATH, MURDER, MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, GRIEF

a e s t h e t i c s

fingers across keyboards and piano keys, m&m’s scattered, vintage gaming consoles and tangled wires, worn vans and broken skateboards, banging of drums and splintering drumsticks, deep rhythms beating with your heart, the hum of a hefty computer and the buzz of a monitor, green text against black screens, unruly hair unkempt, flannels filling closets, bloody baseball bats, posters lining up and down walls, loud punk music shaking the walls, glares and whispers, the suffocation that comes with loneliness, pills rattling in their bottles, unmade beds.

general info !!

full name: apollo casimir amoretto

nickname(s): cas, polly, lover boy, 2000 (b/c of his screen names lmaoo)

b.o.d. - january 31st, aquarius boi

label(s): the escapist, the hellion, the insurgent, the netizen, etc. etc.

height: hitting 6′0″

hometown: livingstone, vt !

sexuality: bi bi bi bi bisexual

stats

pinterest

biography !!

cristian amoretto and camilla silvestri had a romance that could be described turbulent at best, and downright explosive at worst

cristian, a native italian actor whose career began before he could walk, and camilla, the daughter of two italian immigrants with big dreams in a small town, met on the set of a coffee shop. their love story began quickly, dating within only a few months of knowing each other and engaged before the year was up

camilla walked down the aisle 6 months pregnant with lil’ baby apollo, who was then born in livingstone, vermont, aka the town that camilla’s family had settled in

was raised primarily by his mother and grandparents! his father was often off shooting movies, leaving camilla to take on the role of stay-at-home mom despite her own dreams of making it big as an actress

apollo grew up as a huge momma’s boy – i mean, god, he just really loved this mother, y’know? his relationship with his father was much rockier because of his … lack of being around.

when his grandparents died around the age of eight, that’s when things got…worse. it felt as if camilla’s parents were the only barrier between camilla and cristian’s budding wrath.

it became more apparent that cristian was not meant for the family life, his anger quick and his fists quicker, stinging words and venomous glares. a control freak who couldn’t handle camilla being independent.

this wasn’t apparent to the neighbors, or much of the town in general, because the amorettos were such a prominent family up in their beach-side mini mansion – it was hard to imagine that their life was anything but exquisite and dreamlike.

this was, of course, up until camilla filed for divorce and a restraining order in the same day, face bruised and nearly unrecognizable. she, obviously, got custody of apollo.

at this point in time, apollo was fourteen and…pretty stoked for them to get away from his father. they holed up southside and life continued as normal. for the time being. gossip swarmed apollo at school surrounding the circumstance which was annoying, to say the least. it led to him becoming withdrawn from the other students, not getting the whole … gossip appeal.

in hindsight, they should’ve moved out of livingstone. death threats in the form of letters and the eerie feeling of eyes constantly being on them came to a halt on apollo’s graduation day: the day that his father also, coincidentally, murdered his mother.

for making me miss out on years of my son’s life, was cristian’s excuse as he was escorted from the bloody crime scene at their apartment and into the police car.

cristian was convicted and sent to prison almost a whole year after it occurred. apollo still has dreams about testifying in court against his father as a witness.

and then apollo became known not as the son of two celebrities, but the son of a murderer. total bummer !

could not tell you why he stayed in livingstone, but he did. almost dropped out of college a good few times ( he isn’t passionate about graphic design, it’s more of him wasting time than anything else ) and spends most of his time raiding on WoW or competitively playing overwatch :/

speaking of college ! apollo was kieran’s roommate and like ... a close friend of his. the death hit him pretty hard b/c of his past.

lives in kieran but lately has been switching between his dorm and his childhood home - it’s technically his dad’s but he hasn’t been to his mom’s apartment in years. the mansion has become run-down and pretty grody, a sore sight that pisses off the neighbors.

he does identify as demiboy but he cares abt his identity like ... so little ... 

personality !!

his main focuses are computers / video games, drums / his band, and like … skating … vaping … gamer things, y’know.

from a young age he’d always been very fascinated by video games, and being the Rich Boi ™ that he was, ended up with a whole lot of them to play, on a whole bunch of consoles.

but like … he’s a PC guy :/ he may have a super rare nintendo 64 or two but nothing can beat his dual-monitor set up with his hand-built computer !

he also got real into hacking, y’know, just small things like watching security cameras in different cities and occasionally changing his grades b/c like … who wouldn’t ? also … cheated in dark souls. fucking loser.

his favorite games to play are multiplayer games so !!

he joined a band in high school because he was angsty and young, and like, turned out to be really good on drums ?? they had like … some real big jimmy eat world / green day / say anything / old school fall out boy vibes. just a whole bunch of ‘fuck the government, fuck the authority, anarchy, rebellion, revolt revolt revolt’ angry rock music that got a buuunch of noise complaints during practice.

his role in the band is essentially the ~nerdy~ one, because he’s a gamer, but like he was also Edgy and Angry and wore all black like Constantly ( he still does who are we kidding )

probably paints his nails black and has a nose ring b/c gamers can be edgy too !!

huuuuuge junk food junkie. like … he will consume Everything and Anything unhealthy. has a huge sweet tooth, he can’t remember the last time he’s drank straight up water.

he’s pretty much a loner, minus his bandmates -- having a reputation like his really ... puts off others. wasn’t the friendliest person in high school either, which doesn’t help. kieran and him were kindred souls.

to be honest, he’s really selfish. thinks about himself first and foremost, considers it to be a method of surviving in a fuck-shit town with fuck-shit people. wouldn’t hesitate to toss people to the side if it were to ever come down to it. he’s not a faithful pal.

he’s ruthless, impulsive, does whatever he pleases because he assumes that everybody’s already got their opinion of him due to his father. hard to stop him when he’s on a rampage.

seething with rage on the inside. :/

uuhhh so he’s got this fucking…pomsky, right? her name is tulip. she was camilla’s before she passed away and like, what was apollo gonna do, huh ? put the dog in a shelter ? hell fucking nah. that’s his dog now. give that dog an emotional support animal certification and boom.

this isn’t like a Personality Trait but idk where to put it so ! apollo’s on antidepressants ( and other medications, but y’know. that’s just how it is ) b/c like … y’know … the whole dad-murdering-mom thing sort of fucked him up a lot ! they make him feel pretty blah and diminished his sex drive so like … hook ups aren’t really an option for him 99% of the time.

besides that he smokes a lot of weed b/c self medication.

he’s … sort of an asshole. like … he can be rude and he doesn’t have much of a filter and i don’t know if there’s any softness left to him ! he just really misses his mom and has a lot of wishes involving changing the past and he reacts badly to things because he’s so defensive and on edge constantly.

no but he’s just like. .. sad gamer boi … a man and his dog … who also carries like five knives on him.

like he’s not socially awkward or necessarily Bad with people .. he’s just bad with people :/ doesn’t try hard enough ! is a little too apathetic ! chaotic to true neutral

wanted connections !!

bandmates !! i’d envision that there’s four or five members including him. two electric guitar, one bass, one drums / keyboard ( that me -_- ) , anybody singing ... maybe a triangle player ! or a cowbell ! i dunno ! endless possibilities.

fans of the band mayb ?? try to seduce him so they can party w/ them after a show n apollo’s just like :/ nah ( or yah ! )

people he clashes with hardcore !! people who are one n the same.

uuhh ... big slut for enemies ! ppl he refuses to get along with or they’ve been on bad terms previously for whatever reason. :-)

alternately, people he’s trying really hard to get along with but it’s not working b/c he’s a shithead.

maybe an actual good, close friend or two !! y’know. so he’s not completely alone. 

people he’s fucked over previously by ditching them / being unreliable / messy / etc.

besides close friends, someone who’s soft towards him or vice versa. because as much as i love angst, i love the uwu too.

ex-flings, ex-fwbs, ex-hookups, etc. etc. ex-gfs/bfs. especially from high school.

people he’s known all his life ! childhood friends, childhood enemies, old rivals, etc.

people who like ... stayed away from him / distanced themselves after his dad’s arrest. :/

okay but like ... imagine, okay , some sort of high school romance where he used to sneak into their room / sneak them out, n then they’d like. go wild out. y’know like, parents Hate him.

ppl who end up on one of his benders / night time adventures / whatever chaotic shit w/ him.

a hook-up gone bad could b fun !

gaming pals. gaming enemies.

skater buds ! vaping buds ! stoner buds ! apollo owns like three juuls.

someone he’s good friends with ( maybe ?? potentially developing Feelings at the same time ) but apollo fucks up their friendship / possible Something because that’s just what he Does.

somebody who thought tht like ... his childhood home was just Abandoned and Empty so they started breaking in to like. get high or fuck or whatever and apollo just walks in one day like ... what are u doing.

someone who caught him dealing juul pods to middle schoolers and was like ... what are u doing. idiot.

idiot reckless buddy pals !! wreck shit together !! burn couches !! chaos !

literally i’ll take anything sdjnfkmgh

#livingintro #this is an hr late oops ! #death tw #murder tw #domestic violence tw #grief tw #mental illness tw

[veridium]

happy pills

The storm is on the horizon for your favorite modern thedas college girls. It’s my honor to push my piece a step further on the board. This episode brought to you by Norah Jones’s “Happy Pills,” otherwise known as my favorite song to sing wine drunk in the shower! 

Enjoy some sad, tepid burn and friends knocking sense into each other! uwu!

start from the beginning // previous episode

--

6:50am, Friday morning:

--dude, send me your coffee order in ten minutes or perish.

Ellinor: surprise me

--you hate when I do that

Ellinor: you always say that! you know me

--ok fine, it’s my funeral after it’s yours. I’m at the studio. Hopefully you’ve snuck back through the window from your nocturnal love nesting.

Friday morning workout at the dance studio does not rival Josephine’s pep talk as far as therapeutic outlets go, but it’s a close placebo. She’s been going once a day at least since Wednesday evening, and switched to early mornings in order to evade any possible ‘run-in.’ Now she is an even more mean, lean, dancing machine than she usually is, dressed in her black leotard, tights, and running shorts. The last thing on her to-do list while in town is to stop into the coffee shop downtown to pick up coffee for her and Ellinor -- she called dibs on the honors, edging out Cullen for once that week.

She parks her car on the curb at 7:45am and tosses her hair up in a clip. Hopping out of her mini and over the crosswalk, she walks in with ease though the memories flood. Down the way she sees the table where her and Cassandra had their disaster coffee meet-up, and butterflies yet linger in her stomach as she waits in line to place her order.

Just as it’s her turn, people come down the shop stairs from the second-floor lounge area. A set of flats with ballerina laces, the other calf-high, military style boots. The worst combination of people there could ever be. Cassandra, and the red-headed friend of Josephine’s. Lily? Leliana. Leliana.

What are they doing here? It’s the crack of fucking dawn!

They’re walking close, and it’s not due to the lack of space. Shoulder-to-shoulder, like...like how they used to. Olivia can’t bare to look at their faces and have it be made worse. She closes her eyes and turns away. Dread and its accompanying sensations flood her from nose to toe. She braces for a collision, a cringey ‘oh how do you know so-and-so?’ and sly grin for absolutely no reason. Cassandra’s awkward inability to hide her feelings of uncomfortable distaste.

But, across the floor, the secondary door entrance rings its bell, and she turns to see they are gone. Left without so much as a horrible side-eye. Well, fine, if that is how it is...

Is she that unrecognizable post-workout? God, she must be. She pulls out her phone and flips the selfie camera on. It isn’t the worst she’s ever looked -- sophomore year, second semester finals definitely takes the cake in that category. But she does look...human. Mortal. Normal, sans emo pride flag hoisted in her wake.

Her gawking is interrupted by a text from Ellinor:

Ellinor: Hey, still bringing my coffee? I have some things to do and class later…

--Yeah, I’m ordering now. Be at the dorm in 15.

Oh, so she is alive. Funny. She pays for her to-go order, a white non-fat mocha and an Oregon chai. She’s expanding Ellinor’s palate, slowly but surely, starting with the chai family. Today is a risky day to try, though -- Ellinor has been a happy nervous mess, and last night’s antics have them both on edge: another instance where she’d said she would come home in a few hours, tops, only to stay over until morning. Something’s got to give.

Heading to her car, she makes a couple more texts, but to Theia instead:

--dude, hey, do you know Leliana?

She’s buckled up by the time Theia responds. The early mechanic bird always gets first dibs at tinkering with the shop stuff, as she would say.

Theia: Leliana? Who fucking doesn’t.

--That makes me feel better. She queer?

Theia: Yeah, she’s one of us. Cool once she likes you. I swear she ran a government background check on me when I started hanging out with Josie.

--well, great, she’s hanging out with...she who shall not be named

Theia: Well, hope she says goodbye, because I’m still killing her lol

--Ha, very funny. I gotta drive, I’ll text you later. See you this weekend at the gala?

Theia: Yep!

Well, shit. What’s there to like about the situation besides their choice in shoes? Nothing. But she’s got a coffee order to deliver to her best friend, and that takes precedent. She puts the car into gear and takes off.

Once on campus she marches straight up to their rooms, where Ellinor is waiting with a boot tapping the ground and phone in both her hands.

“There you are! Fuck,” Ellinor sighs, rubbing one of her eyes. “Tell me it’s at least a double-shot.”

“Triple,” Olivia grins, handing it to her. They both sip, and Ellinor makes a face.

“Is this a boujee chai? You got me a boujee chai again.”

“I got you a nice chai. You’re welcome, Olivia, for being my coffee fairy…”

Ellinor pinches the bridge of her nose, like a reset button, and refocuses on her phone screen. Is she still grumpy from Olivia’s read last night? Maybe, it was a bit...brutal. That’s what happens when you catch her trying to sleep, noise machine on ocean sounds and late night oreos digesting.

“Thank you,” Ellinor finally spits out, pulling her headphones from her denim jacket pocket. “I’m sorry, I’m just...worried.”

“Why? What’s up? Fuck, my class starts soon, let me throw some clothes on and get my bag.”

A black spaghetti strap, black jeans, and a grey long cardigan will have to do. She runs some product through her wet hair and ties it back up, and out in no more than 3 minutes. They get down the stairs and onto the sidewalk. Private enough for multitasking gossip and academia.

“So, what’s with the stick up your ass?” Olivia asks, slipping her aviators on.

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit.”

“Not even!”

“You got ten minutes before the door closes and you gotta find another plucky blonde to be your confessor, dude. Speak now or forever hold your peace!”

“Urgh!” Ellinor chokes back an erroneous groan, pressing her to-go cup to her lips. “I need to be beamed up, Scotty. This is getting too much.”

“Too much? Dude, what?”

Ellinor takes another long chug, and their walking gets faster. Oh no, she’s not getting out of this one.

“His sister is arriving today.”

“I thought you were excited to meet her.”

“I am! It’s just...It’s…” they round a corner, a back path to the area of campus where their buildings are located. “You know in movies and shit when people get introduced to other people and the mutual friend goes “ah, shit, this is...my...friend,” like all awkward? I realized this morning that he’s gonna have to do that.”

Olivia sighs, adjusting the position of her bag shoulder strap and hooking her thumb onto it. “And you want to be introduced as an important person.”

“Yes! I--NO!”

“Aha!” Olivia finger guns. Caught red-handed...or...hearted...whatever it is.

“That is not what I am having an issue with! Look, you were right, okay. I don’t want it to be this way. I need to nix it.”

Olivia dragged her shoe heel to a halt, eyes round and mouth agape. “The fuck?! Ellinor, how am I to blame for this?”

“Your text! You...with the thing...and the ‘is this what I want’ shit!”

“Ugh! Ellinor, Jesus Christ!” she grabbed her by the wrist and pulled her off to the side. They had entered a little park-like area, with a couple trees and a cheap looking sitting bench. Guiding -- no, yanking -- Ellinor to it, she slung her onto her ass and set down her coffee.

“Alright, Ellinor, gloves coming off.”

“What?”

“Gloves, off,” Olivia rolls her shoulders. She’s still feeling bouncy and strong from workout. “You keep saying the opposite of what you feel and it shows. You obviously like him, and he obviously likes you. Why are you acting like being an adult only means saying no? The fuck?” Olivia throws her arms up.

“I’m not! I’m just being practical! I don’t even know if would want to be anything else. He seems perfectly fine as it is!”

“Who said to be friends, Ellinor? Who? I’ll give you three guesses, the first two don’t count!”

The world seemed to stop turning. Olivia stood there, hunched forward in her shoulders, looking like she was lobbying on a Congressional floor that water was a basic human right. That same ardor, all for her best friend botching her love life. But Ellinor was squirming for all the wrong reasons. She was doing exactly what she did when things got too good: finding a reason to call it good, while they were ahead.

Ellinor bunches her knees together and sits back, pouting.

“I said it,” she mumbles.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite hear. Who?” Olivia holds a hand to the rim of her ear.

Ellinor purses her lips and looks off to the side, evading her eye. “I did…” another low tone.

“Uh, come again?”

“I did! Dammit!” she kicks the floor and folds her arms. “Shit, fuck, dammit…”

“BINGO! Ya’ll we got a winner!” The salt in her tone’s getting excessive, even for her own internal standards. Which, clearly, are immense. Deflating her tirade and taking a breath, Olivia puts her hands to her hips. Shifting from antagonist asshole friend to helpful soccer coach mom.

“Babe,” Olivia gives in, “maybe it’s time you listen to the Disney song and say you like him, and you know what you want from him.”

“Do I?” Ellinor asks as Olivia sits down next to her, thigh-against-thigh. She lays her head on Olivia’s shoulder. “I’m so confused I can barely think straight.”

“Hey, that’s less of a problem then you think.”

“Oh. Ha-ha, nice gay joke, funky little bisexual.”

Olivia giggles, and wraps her arm around hers. “Hey, it worked. And now, we’re gonna be late for class.”

“I know.”

They both sigh, and accept the inevitable. Each of them has their reasons. Ellinor probably doesn’t want to see Cullen and have all her existential agony to show off. Olivia just...wants to stop caring. The week has gone on logistically without a hitch, and her workaholic personality has ensured everything but her love and social life has gone smooth. Everything is on fire, but it’s fine. It’s so fine.

“Well, games are fun, right? We’ll have fun.”

Olivia stills, her cheeks flushing. It suddenly gets a whole lot hotter. “Uh, hey, about that…”

Ellinor twitches and sits up, looking at her with a pointed face of ‘oh god, please don’t.’ “Olivia…”

She cringes and bunches her shoulders. “I just don’t think it’s a good idea.”

“You said yesterday it’d be fine! That you were all good under the hood!”

She glares, but with a laugh in the back of her throat. “I didn’t say ‘all good under the hood.’ I have never said that in my damn life.”

“You! But you said! Ugh, unbelievable!” Ellinor let her hands fall up, then down onto her jeans, making a slapping down. “What’s going on? Did you talk to Cass?”

Cass. She calls her Cass all the time. It’s nice, but it’s not her. Cullen calls her Cass, too. They all call her Cass. Why not her? Why does she have to be extra and say ‘Cassandra’ all the damn time? For fuck’s sake.

“No, I haven’t. It’s still radio silence, but…” she teeters on whether or not to explain, but she figures it’s written all over her face anyways. Ellinor’s look of skeptical frustration says as much. “I saw her this morning.”

She pauses. Anticlimactic, so it seems. “You...saw her? Is that...a big deal?”

“No, it’s…” she rubs her hand against her scalp of tied-back hair. “It’s not that, really. It’s...how I saw her.”

Ellinor looks as if she’s about to hear a testimony of assisted homicide, as she turns to face her, criss-crossing her legs and picking her coffee up. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“You know that girl I told you about, the one Josie introduced me too?”

“Yeah, the creepy redhead. What about her...oh, oh no. Liv…” she scowls in sympathy, “they weren’t…”

Liv smiles with sadness and looks off to the grass in front of them. “They were at the coffee shop. What was supposed to be our coffee shop. At 7:45 in the morning, no less. You know what that means.”

“...morning after hookup coffee…” Ellinor whines a bit in secondhand misery. “Fuck. It can’t be.”

“I mean, I was wrong. I must be,” Olivia shrugs. “Or she’s having very fond friendships.” Very, very fond. 7:45 in the morning, dressed with makeup on and school bags packed fond. No one’s that fond without something that perked them up the morning before. Unless you were Ellinor Trevelyan and hated admitting feelings.

“The worst part,” she chuckles again, “the worst fucking part! Is that Leliana said she heard about me. My dumbass was like ‘oh, cool, Josie mentioned me,’ but no! It was! Her! That...that!” she stops before she gets carried away, gritting her teeth as she puts her coffee to her chin. “They must laugh about me. Goodness, why would she make a move on Cassandra, she’s clearly not interested and spoken for! Secret...CIA lesbians…”

Ellinor rolls her lips, choking on her laugh she so desperately wants to let out. They refrain from eye contact in order to save face.

“You might be jumping to conclusions, maybe? They could be friends. Josie and her seemed tight, and you don’t know if this Leliana person is even--”

“I texted Theia after I saw them. She’s ‘one of us.’ And pretty, and sophisticated, and...has leadership roles. I look like a chipmunk and Marilyn Manson had a love child on a good day.”

Ellinor gasped, and slapped her in the thigh. “Olivia Berenice, shut up! What the hell! Whatever this woman has going for her, you’re hot, okay? Hot, and brilliant, and cultured!”

“I’m a chipmunk!”

Ellinor roars and starts tickling her in the side, but she only groans and squirms like a gangling preteen without proper cognitive awareness. But, laughter does take hold, and she even snorts.

“Fine, fine! I’m not a chipmunk!” she wiggles, “I just! I’m mad. I’m mad that I’m mad. I shouldn’t be jealous of something that wasn’t mine to begin with. But here I am, sulking and pouting, going ‘but that’s MY spare bike helmet she’s probably wearing, riding on the back of her motorcycle.’ I want to bury myself alive. This shit blows.” She sips more of her mocha, but the sweetness is no longer satisfying. The taste of resentment and unresolved bisexuality overtakes the white chocolate.

“It...it does blow,” Ellinor admits, leaning forward with her elbows on her knees. “Damn.”

“So, forgive me, but I don’t think me showing up tonight will be good. Or necessary. I’m just gonna be that awkward friend that Cullen wants to be nice to but also respect his roommate’s choices. And from what I gather of Leliana, she’ll probably just go Avril Lavigne and kick me into the mini-golf lagoon.”

That evokes a laugh, but a sorry one. Pity. Ellinor downs the rest of her chai and slides her feet over the edge of the bench, boots barely touching down on the dirt. “That means I’ll be on my own with Rosalie, probably. Fuck.”

“Hey, that’s not a bad thing. You’re cute, and funny. From what I’ve heard of her, she’ll probably look at you like the sun shines out your ass. A grunge babe, out in the world and getting educated. Yeah…” she teases, a crooked and charming smile.

Ellinor groans. “I’m a mess, is what I am. She’ll see me twenty yards out and go ‘shit, what’s that hot mess express doing out here in public?’ and Cullen will go, ‘hey, that’s my friend! My friendly friend, who I only have friendship for. The friendliest friend to ever...friend…” she gets sadder the more she talks, as does her posture. It’s disheartening to see her spin and spin and spin, rather than just cut herself a break.

“Ell, you gotta put yourself outta your misery,” Olivia concludes, pulling her phone out. “And I don’t mean by taking a break.”

“There’s no way to know if I’ll be more miserable for indulging myself, though. I’ll just jump out into the water and fall flat on my face.”

“Or, he could catch you, like he’s been trying and offering to this whole damn time.”

“That’s not true!”

“Ughhh, Ellinooorr,” Olivia falls forward into her lap, her head hung low. “Christ alive.”

“It’s not! He doesn’t look a touch uncomfortable with being friends.”

“Yeah, because so far friends has gotten him a spooning-mate for what, three nights?”

“Two!”

“Two! My God, forget about it, nevermind!”

They roll their eyes at the same time but for contrasting reasons. Olivia, fed up a bit by the circular direction of the conversation, would rather go to class and risk being locked out for her delinquency. “Come on, to class, binch.”

Ellinor lays her head back but pushes herself up, dragging her feet but carrying on. When they’re back on the sidewalk, fresh air in their lungs, things feel a bit less useless.

“But that also means he’s probably sick of me making demands,” Ellinor speaks again after about a minute of walking. “If I try to reset the boundaries, he’ll probably think I’m too bossy or something.”

“The man likes to be bossed,” Olivia says rather mercilessly, “I’ve never seen a guy with a more apparent invisible “peg me” sign on his forehead.”

“Olivia!!”

“What?!” she shrugs, “there’s a nobility in getting pegged.”

“Yeah? And what would you be, if Cassandra was involved?” a sharp, cutting response. Maybe Olivia hit a nerve too far.

She sighs. “The best peggers know when it’s their turn to get pegged,” she answered, “I do not possess such talents. The force is not with me.”

They come to the short concrete walkway to Olivia’s building and stop. People walk past, closer so that they have to be more secretive with their highly classified discussion.

“The force could be in you, maybe,” she giggles crassly, “uh, I mean, pour one out for your pegging skills,” side-stepping towards the path where she must walk alone. “You sure you don’t wanna go, dude? It’ll be a crowd, and you can spend all your time with Rosalie if you want to. I might need the help if she turns out hating my guts.”

Olivia slides her hands into her jean pockets and looks around. No one familiar, no one worth her attentions. Good.

“I’m sorry, Ellinor. I’m recovering, and I’m a hell of a lot better than I was last weekend, but...I don’t think I can see her. See them...at least, not like that.” The sight of Cassandra playing soccer was still sacred to her. The first real sight she ever got of her in action, and the epicenter of happier times with Ellinor on the grass sipping drinks and fantasizing about their love stories.

“Okay. Text me, alright? If you change your mind I can just swing around and come get you.”

“No worries. I’m probably gonna drive home tonight, actually. I got my dress for the gala, I just need to go spend time with Mother dearest.”

“Ugh, really?”

“Yeah. I know,” she huffs, looking up at the third floor windows where her lecture is being held without her. “Time to wake up and get on with life. You, at least, are still holding out.”

“Psh! No,” Ellinor make a ‘yikes face.’ “I’m on thin ice right next to you.”

Olivia stares at her, a brow raised. “Ellinor.”

“...what?”

She shakes her head, and turns her shoulders towards the doors that await her. “I’ll put it this way: I walked out on my person after demanding space once, and she came back around. I did it again, and I lost everything good about it in fear of facing the ‘maybe’ bad stuff. Don’t be me, checking messages that are a week old, hoping that I somehow missed one. Don’t get your heart smashed into the sidewalk when you see him out with someone else because you didn’t know what you may have had. Please.”

It pains her to say it out loud, but it’s true. The week was a yellow-brick road of life lessons learned all-too-late. If she could go back, she’s unsure of what she’d do. Maybe not kiss her, maybe still try but then ask what was wrong. Talk to her. Listen. God, listen better. But it’s too late -- or, it’s too close to being too late, and she can’t keep doing this to herself.

Ellinor frowns, as if she is about to tear up. Olivia grins and pats her on the shoulder. “Hey, go to class, kid.”

“Okay. Text me, please? Let me know when you’re on the road and when you’re home.”

“I will. Love you, bestie.”

“You too, bestie.”

And with that, they part ways, Olivia retreating into her sacred building, called Tifton Hall by everyone else. The stairs sound better than an elevator, and when she gets to the third floor, she sees that class was let out early. Great, so it was no use showing up. She climbs back to the second floor where the faculty offices are along with the TA office desk and inboxes. If she can get nothing else out of being there, she can check for any last minute notes. She’s been a horrible TA -- it’s been over a week since she checked it.

Nothing’s there, though, with the exception of a red post-it. Some Professor’s shorthanded nonsense, probably. Ripping it from the box and sticking it on her finger, though, the truth is revealed:

“Stopped by to drop off things for a Professor. Hope you’re having a good day. -C”

Her throat nearly closes, or so it feels. It must have been old. She looks on the back, and true to Cassandra’s erudite character, it’s dated. The day before last Friday. The day they hadn’t seen each other, or text, really. Turns out her distance wasn’t so far.

She looks down either end of the hallway -- no one’s there to make fun of her for what she is about to do. She pulls out her favorite notebook and presses it to the inside cover. The last thing she’ll ever have, for when she starts to forget it was ever real.

God, Ellinor, don’t fuck up like I have.

Time to put headphones in and marathon King Princess, St. Vincent, and Halsey, her sapphic patroness Saints, until she feels too heartless to care. A playlist on her Spotify made by Sera for her last fallout with a girl, titled “Girl Troubles, Dedicated to Baby Liv.”

#college au #college au update #adventures of ellinor and olivia #ellinor trevelyan #olivia sinclair #modern!olivia #UPDATE WOOOOOO #BRING ON THE CRINGE AND SUSPENCE #AND SAPPHIC DRAMA

[staliasjeronica]

Riverdale 3.17 Thoughts *Spoilers*

So I’ve had to redo this two times now because going back and forth from the episode and this fucked everything up (I can slide to the next window and it keeps taking away this post so I can’t do anything about getting it back so I’m VERY pissed right now and not in the mood to watch this twenty million goddamn times)

- WOW MY BOYS LOOK SO GOOD I’VE SEEN THEM LIKE TWENTY TIMES BUT THAT’S ALL I WANT IN THIS SHOW SO WHATEVER

- Oh yeah Beronica are friends ahaha I always forget mmhm wonder why

- Why is a cult having an open house like—

- The kiss on the cheek after Gladys’ threatens Jughead is really… I don’t know man but I like the tension of it (not the word I was looking for but I forgot so oh well)

- I hate that they’re making Alice seem like such a bad mom. Like, she’s BRAINWASHED. They’re only creating discourse within the fandom and it sucks. But like they don’t even make it make sense because Alice is all brainwashed and insane when she’s with Betty but when she’s with FP she’s perfectly fine and normal like??? Make it make sense!!!!! Then again they can’t even write a gang so like why am I surprised

- Also Betty leaving Veronica alone in the cult’s place? No thanks, leave my baby Veronica alone

- JARCHIE CONTENT. See, THIS is what we want. Teenage talk, drama, etc. Not some weird stick poisoning people and cults overtaking people. THIS IS WHAT WE WANT NOT THIS CRAZY PSYCHO NONSENSE

- Again, my boys look good, but Jughead going against his father and having the Serpents DO CRIME and go after drug dealers? Mmhm this’ll totally turn out well because it was sooooooo unexpected!

- I miss Mad Dog, he was treated wrong on The 100 so I’m so happy to see him again!

- Varchie is sooooo so so so much better as friends. When they got together they needed certain things out of the relationship, but now they don’t need those and I really hope they don’t put them back together. And this is coming from someone who actually liked Varchie—they were cute, and the only “bad” thing they did was have sex at the worst moments (but to be fair, that’s all Veronica really knew how to expose herself, her feelings, because of her parents, so at least it makes SENSE) but now they’re grown and I just… I know I’m going to be disappointed in the writers when they make Varchie get back together for no fucking reason

- Also Varchie as this duo who ban together to get what they want? Iconic and powerful, thank you. So much better than wannabe detective duo bughead

- I know I’m not surprised but they had such a good streak of having Betty not be intolerable up until now. WHY THE FUCK IS SHE ASKING HER EMOTIONALLY SPENT COUSIN INTO A FARM THAT LEGIT USES THEIR TRAUMA AGAINST THEM TO MAKE THEM JOIN LIKE??? DOES BETTY EVEN THINK OF SHIT BEFORE SHE DOES THEM??? People praise her for being smart but uh… clearly her boyfriend’s stupid thought process and getting herself into stupid shit she doesn’t have to be in is rubbing off on her. LITERALLY she is the “Serpent queen” couldn’t she ask Jughead to spare a Serpent that’s not Sweet Pea (since Fangs was already romantically manipulated into joining ugh —although I like Kangs don’t come at me okay—) to infiltrate? Someone less likely to, you know, actually join the fucking cult?

- Cheryl’s fake crying and fake breakup with Toni is gold,,, anyways,,,

- SWEET PEA TAKING DOWN THAT GUY WAS ALL I FUCKING NEEDED LIKE WHAT A KING I’M SO TOTALLY IN LOVE WITH HIM UGHHHHH

- Also Fangs in the background just reading a fucking comic I’m—I love him even though he’s sadly now in the farm :(((

- BABY TEETH OH MY GOD DUDE IT’S BEEN AWHILE he’s looking so good and fresh what a sweet child uwu

- Ugh yes Archie setting them up at the boxing gym thank youuuuuu ALSO I REALLY WANT ARCHDOG TO BE A THING. THAT WINK HE DID AT BABYTEETH WAS SO BISEXUAL I’M LIVING

- Oh wow Jughead fucking up something and getting caught, who woulda thunk it? ALSO how does FP not know that the other drug dealers are caught, though? Like, wouldn’t he realize “oh fuck my stupid son is going behind my back again isn’t he” like… okay FP there’s no way you didn’t realize that there was only one drug dealer left

- Wow, Cheryl being lured into the Farm and having her connection with Betty be cut off… I had NO idea that that would happen… Jesus fucking Christ now Cheryl’s going to be a part of the Farm and that is completely on Betty. I wish Betty ACTUALLY cared about (everyone in general, actually) her fucking cousin and her mental health.

- Instead of Cheryl, it would have been much more interesting to see Betty fall into the Farm, and have Cheryl save her instead because, you know, it’s much more realistic and less boring.

- This… is Bughead’s “pillow talk” that’s sad lmao

- Can someone make an edit where it’s Archie instead of Jughead thanks

-  sksksksks the look Hiram gives Hermione tho after he calls her his wife I’m—but WOW he actually fucking listened to his daughter? LOOK AT HOW POWERFUL MY BABY VERONICA IS. HER WORDS, HER CARE, SHE FUCKING GOT HIM TO HELP AHHHHHHHHH THAT’S SO FUCKING GREAT. Is he going to ruin the moment or something soon??

- Someone should make a list of all the criminal things Jughead makes the Serpents do after his stupid “no crime” rule

- HOW TF DID ARCHIE DO THAT SO QUICKLY I’M—

-  WE LOVE AND STAN MAD DOG

- Archie helping out his boyfriend uwu

-  Why and how does jughead survive that? Like do you know how interesting it would have been for him to get severely hurt (break his back) or possibly even die? Like, it would have been so surprising but this show,,, sucks

- ALSO ALSO how did Archie get down there so fast? That was one who stairway I believe so like…

-  STOP HURTING MY BABY VERONICA SHE DESERVES THE ENTIRE WORLD!!!!!!!

-  Why is Jughead surprised that another gang is using guns??? Like??? Bitch that’s what gangs do? She’s retaliating against you, what the fuck is she supposed to do, use balloon swords???

- See this is why Jughead is a stupid ass bitch. DO NOT FUCKING TELL YOUR ENEMY WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO DO. This is why you and Betty are shit at investigating and whatnot, because you two are so fucking stupid.

-  See, and now she got the “this is between you and me” into his head, when that’s not really the case. HE COULD EASILY TELL HIS FATHER, AND THEY CAN FIGURE OUT A PLAN TO DRIVE HER AND HER DRUGS AWAY TOGETHER but Jughead is just a stupid teenager who is too impulsive and doesn’t keep his stupid fucking mouth shut. I just want this stupid plot over with, literally the only good thing about this show is the characters Veronica, Swangs, Choni, and Archosie (and the beautiful hints at Barchie’s future relationship)

-  “Dammit, Cheryl, why?” AS IF HER JOINING THE FARM WASN’T COMPLETELY YOUR DUMBASS FAULT SKSKSKSKS BETTY—

- As much as I don’t like Elio and he’s annoying and boring, and that he’s going to use Mad Dog, I’m glad he’s being given a chance to fix his home life.

- If they magically make Jason alive again despite seeing his dead body,,, I mean I’ll be thrilled bc he’d get to meet the one other person who’s ever made Cheryl happy.

- So like… it doesn’t make sense. If she can see Charles, why hasn’t she told FP? Unless he’s already a part of it and we just don’t know???

-  Betty,,, you coulda said Charles bc either way you’d be near Edgar and THEN ask to meet him to make it less suspicious but okay…

- LMAO I IMAGINE THIS IS WHAT EDGAR DOES WHEN HE WALKS IN AND TAKES IN A DEEP BREATH. “Great, it’s this fucking annoying bitch… let’s see what she’s going to fail to get out of me.”

- Yeah, Betty, as if it was actually this easy to just ASK to meet him and get ALL of the information… Mmhm maybe that also shows that she has to do everything illegally first before trying a civil way lmaoooooooo

- GODDAMMIT WHY BABY TEETH HE WAS SO CUTE UGHHHHHH

#Riverdale #South Side Serpents #Jughead Jones #Archie Andrews #Betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge

[wolvesdevour]

How Not to Write Gay Stories

I’m very torn between writing two different posts and there’s a chance these may combine, so we’ll see how this goes. There are two topics that are in my mind a fair amount: gay fetishism by women authors (both in fanfic & professional writing), and how to translate fanfic writing skills to professional writing (and how it can fail). Miraculously, perhaps, the book I just read, How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom by SJ Goslee is a fairly good example of both of these. 

The problem with addressing gay fetishism among women authors is that when is it fetishistic versus well-meaning? It’s hard for me to say why the originators of gay slash fic wrote the way they did, but its hard to miss that when fanfic especially grew prominent, over 80% of writers were women. In Star Trek fandom, the first gay slash fic was published by a woman in 1974: A Fragment Out of Time. By 1973, 90% of ST fan writers were women. 

To clear the air a little: women writers can write good gay stories. One of series I am currently read, The Realm of the Elderlings by Robin Hobb, includes many gay men, some of which are centered POVs. I will not say she is a perfect author, but I deeply enjoy how she writes men. For a good portion of the series, she shows a man growing up: he starts as a young boy, and we see how the men around him teach him to be a man. A very good portion of the lessons stray away from toxic masculinity. He is still taught to be a man, and there are certain “this is a manly trait” aspects (although when she features women as forefront POV, she often includes very similar lessons: ultimately nothing is exclusive to one’s sex, but society is what it is and they may learn lessons differently or overcome different hurdles).

She addresses writing gay men in this interview: Here’s the thing - when I meet a person, their gender identity is most often not the most important thing about them. If we become friends, it’s not because my first impulse is, “I will be friends with you because you’re female.” I mean, there’s a lot of women I can’t stand. There’s a lot of men that I absolutely can spend hours talking to. There are a lot of people on the whole gender spectrum and whether I become friends with them or not has nothing to do with that, so when I am writing these characters, although in some ways gender can influence a plot - for instance, if you want the prince and the princess to get married and live happily ever after in a medieval setting, gender is going to influence that - but for the most part, gender is not much more important than who has blue eyes. What’s more important is who is a skilled navigator, who is tough enough to survive a bad situation, who can think on their feet and find the creative solution to a problem they haven’t encountered before, and that’s got nothing to do with gender. So it was not that I said, “Gee, I will write a book with gay characters.” It was, I’m writing a book, this character has stepped out onto the stage, he’s told me about him- or herself, and this is who they are. As I said: I’m not here to say that women cannot write gay stories. But there is also gay fetishism. I am both a gay man and a trans man; I get a lot of “OMG, you’ll love this!” and cis or straight people presenting me with things that appear inclusive or caring. I personally don’t find memes like “Steve Rogers is a transwoman!”** or whatever amusing. Am I, say, happy to see that Loki is canonically not straight nor cisgender? Yes. I love that. (Does that potentially make Victor von Doom not straight, uh, I like to think so.) I like reading LGBT+ stories, but a good portion of them may not interest me, especially if the writer isn’t part of that demographic and has a tendency to post a lot of art, writing, or discuss a lot of how hot, cute, or general appealing it is that a character or couple are LGBT. That creeps me out. I’m not alone. Very not alone. Absolutely not alone. Here’s another post, this time by a woman that I appreciate:

The worst thing,” one gay friend said, “is that [women in the slash community] aren’t listening to me. You’re not listening when I tell you that you’re being hurtful.”

What I find especially difficult to convey is the nuances to when women write gay men versus when men do. I’ve been trying to collect “gay stories written by gay men” although due to publishing bias, this can be very difficult: As a queer, trans reader, I looked forward to seeing myself in their pages. But I was surprised to find that some LGBTQ-focused stories were reflecting not me, but a straight person’s imagination of me. [Link 1]

The current transman story I like is seen in Early Riser by Jasper Fforde. The character utterly blindsided me in a great way: he never appeared “omg trans” until it was forced to come to light. I appreciate him as well, as a character, because in a harsh survival world, he is a man who survives well. I especially see a lot of “transmen are soft uwu such boi” and I despise this. I did not survive everything in my life to be diminished to pastels and cute/sweet and childish-boyish characteristics.  Similarly, as a gay man, I am not there to be pretty, to serve as a fashion guru for straight people, to be soft and pretty and welcoming. And that’s not how gay men write themselves. This isn’t how transmen write themselves. As a writer, I struggled a lot on how to depict trans characters, and my largest lesson (and I certainly hope to published one day, but who knows) is that I never saw good examples of myself because most typically they are written by straight, cis women.  So what is so wrong with Goslee’s How (Not) To Ask A Boy to Prom? (There will absolutely be spoilers.) The main character is a teen boy who has long hair, loves succulents aggressively, loves narwhals, and has no male friends. His school is supportive of gay men: a very popular football player is gay and has supportive friends, another gay teen (who becomes his boyfriend) has very supportive friends. For some reason, this gay teen is incapable to do anything for himself. He loves art, doesn’t do sports, doesn’t really connect with his foster parents, and seems overly attached to his sister. He is effectively a very flat and “soft” person. Some guys are, of course. Some gay guys are more art, less sports. But the other men? Si & Bern? They’re equally soft. Si is described as soft, beautiful, kind, sweet. He has zero personality. He is described the same way, every time, and is overly described as soft, all men are soft, it’s like they bathe in fabric softener. Bern, the “bad boy” is barely... That. He is supposed to be gruff to the main character, but for the good portion, he is like the main character (Nolan), and Si. They are all the same person, ultimately. 

Bloom might be a good comparison to How (Not) To Ask a Boy to Prom. This is written by a man (Kevin Pancetta) and illustrated by a woman (Savanna Ganucheau). I don’t like the character design. Most of the gay men I showed it to asked if at one of the guys (or both) are women. But it is a story about a frustrated kid who wants to move out of his small town to Baltimore (okay: as a Marylander who grew up in a very small town and eventually moved to Baltimore, I kinda.... Get this), but meets another man who is older, but not creepily too old for him, and its a romance & vague coming of age story. If you grew up in a small city as LGBT+, it’s hard to find your sense of self. You miss out a lot on life; I think Ari reflects that: he wants to be himself.  A lot of this enters into my point 2: The problem of being a fanfic writer, or the pitfalls of translating fanfic writing skills to professional writing. Nolan is not a person; he has no strong characteristics. We’re told he likes narwhals and succulents, he is a foster child, he’s gay, and I have trouble quantifying him the way I do Ari because he’s so devoid of personality. Si is probably the least developed character at all, as the “perfect, Apollo-esque gay football player.” Bern is maybe the most developed, going from gruff-mean guy to gay softy--a motorcycling math nerd.  The problems with fanfic writing is that it is based on knowing characters. As fanfic writers, we don’t have to nail down reality, because there’s a whole piece devoted to who they are. We’re just filling in those blanks. The author seems to primarily be a Teen Wolf fanfic writer (her bio lists “werewolves,” but her tumblr blog is very devoted to Teen Wolf, so well). This brings up another creepy pitfall, which is beyond slash fic writing, there is the aspect of word usage. If you’ve been following my vague live-reading, I’ve been posting about the massive references to “puppy” and other trends. It is creepy to read out of context. 

It seems, according to reviews, that Goslee has trouble with this in her other book, Whatever: or how junior high became totally f$@ked. She has a stream of consciousness that doesn’t explain the main character’s thoughts or the world very well. In fanfic writing, this would end up being a slow burn. “Oh, but are they really going to date?” etc. In How Not, Nolan fake-dates Bern, and googles this concept, finding fanfic works. This gets weird for me, because it’s supposed to be an inside joke, I guess? “Hey teeny nerds: fanfics” but most gay men I know have a difficult relationship with fanfic and with fan community due to fetishism. We get pressed out of spaces a fair amount because of it. (One link above, the Mary Sue one, discusses how women do this.) Of course, this is meant to be a cute, happy book, right? Alright, it’s a cute, upbeat story. Except we don’t get a very good baseline for the world. Bern & Si’s friends are supportive. We get a form of negativity from Bern’s mother, who wishes he’d date his ex-gf, I think? (Bern is bisexual.) Or maybe just date women. So is there homophobia in this world or not? We aren’t given a good sense how Nolan’s parents feel that he is gay? It seems to wholly not discuss his foster parents barring “they are aggressively competitive, Tom makes crazy food concoctions and Marla talks to him about dating Bern.” As a whole, the parents are extremely unimportant other than they provide a home and food. Are they unusual for the area? (And knowing PA, that state can have some major issues.) Or is it common in this world? Is there a reason to not hand-hold? Do they every worry about homophobia when outside school? Do the teachers say shit? There is a lot to consider. The world-building is deeply lacking. Beyond the lack of world, we get a lot of fanfic trope writing. A lot of this I’ve seen from people on my dash who are Teen Wolf fans. I used to like the show & follow TW blogs; I’m not a massive fanfic reader (*ahem* a lot of gay fetishism), but I have read it. For series like TW, you may see what I consider “animalistic tropes;” such as tackling, growling, etc. There is a lot of this. A lot of people are tackling each other to the ground, growling, and there’s this weird moment when Bern grabs the nape of Nolan’s neck that while some men do this, it felt very strange in the moment, particularly aggressively? Because the author openly admits to writing werewolf fanfic, it feels like that is what it is. For authors who write both fanfic and seek to write professionally, this is a consideration. For a gay reader, it’s really weird for a guy to grab another guy’s “nape of the neck” affectionately. (As someone who has worked around large predators, albeit primarily felids, grabbing the neck is a sexual behavior, but that just makes this weirder.) Anyways, it really struck out as weird; just very very weird. Bern is mentioned to not be into PDA (which later in the book, they do it a fair amount it seems, that is also very weird? this happens a fair amount). 

Another part is that there is a lot of use of the word puppy. It is frequents so often that I’d have to stop reading because it was grossing me out. It sounds like that author is into puppy play. This isn’t to kink shame, but this is a YA novel and she writes werewolf fanfic. It starts seemingly, albeit weirdly innocuous with moments like “Bern was smooth and graceful while I was still growing out of my puppy paws” and “She tilted her head like a puppy” and “I followed him up the stairs like a puppy.” But it keeps happening. Then people start growling at each other and it just... Gets a very specific note. Mixed in with how smooth and hairless and Adonis-like the teens are written, especially by an adult woman fan, it feels... Well... It makes my skin crawl. I’m not saying that the author means to. I’m really not trying to be like ‘Hey, guys, sexual predator?” I really, really want to address that that is not my intention. My intention is that this compounds on itself. In the links about how the slash side of fandom can make gay men uncomfortable: this is the perfect example.  I’ve been to events with fans and found myself, barring maybe my fiance, to be the only gay man there. If I’m shipping two characters, such as when I went to a TAZ photoshoot, and my fiance and I are the only gay cosplayers, and almost the only men period, whereas a lot of women are screaming about how cute Taako is, that gets uncomfortable. It’s not about this one fandom. It’s all fandoms. Every single one has had this fetishization problem. It’s why I never entered the Lord of the Rings fandom. I was in middle school and found “my first” fandom, only to see all of the fanfic about Sam/Frodo ships and it grossed me out. As a teen boy, it creeped me out, that all these men had to be sexual to each other, and as I only came across women shipping men, it made it more and more ostracizing.  Maybe I should have addressed this earlier, but: Not all fetishization is sexual. It can be romantic, too. How (Not) to Ask a Boy to Prom’s relationships are about a teen boy who doesn’t want to date or go to prom. His sister makes him ask out Si, the big popular gay guy. Nolan/the author mocks the GSA (gay-straight alliance) club. While there are problems with some GSAs*, the author, a seemingly straight woman, is mocking an LGBT+ space. There is a chance she is bisexual; I haven’t managed to find otherwise, and that’s how this will appear to many people, as she has a husband. I will also note: a bisexual woman’s experience will differ from a gay man’s experience, and sometimes LGBT+ folks need to not speak for/over each other.  Nolan ends up fake-dating Bern due to a mistake, and there’s a bit of problem I have, with how for a good portion of the book, these gay teens “need to FAKE date”. Worse to me, is that Nolan, upon realizing he likes Bern, breaks up with him and ends up sleeping (non-sexually) in a bed with his sister, deciding to go to prom together. For a straight/cis-presenting women to write this, it’s... Got a lot of different baggage to it. Especially with how idealistic (but not for gay men) she writes the characters, it gets worse and worse. It makes the gay character seem just a little less gay. His relationship with his sister is odd. It’s not “cool” to really hang out with your sister at school; I know, I had a step sister & brother. We were all roughly the same age. If these two went to prom together in the real world? They would be mocked. Also, it really makes Nolan appear not actually gay. As a gay writer, I would have him, if not go at all, go stag. The message here is: it’s better to be straight than gay and without a boyfriend. Hence how it becomes fetishistic: Nolan’s sister, both of which are older teens (around 17-18 or so) sleep together in a bed. It may not be “coded as sexual” but it is ignorant of the history that “maybe gay men can be fixed.” They even dance at prom. This is one step below asking your mother to prom. She is still his sister. It creates a narrative that he, out of the blue, dumps his boyfriend to then sleep/cuddle with his sister and they go to prom. Again, this is seen more in fanfic: we often, especially with adopted siblings, see closeness that can become romantic or sexual. I have a fair amount of friends who are adopted and this trope style is infinitely horrifying to them. It makes them feel like that society doesn’t view them as actually family. It is also a real problem: adopted family members (especially kids) have been abused by their adopted family, as if “it’s okay, they’re not actually biologically family.”

While he does eventually get back together with Bern, it’s after prom that he does this. I don’t even know why Bern accepts him. Nolan has been truly awful to this guy. Goslee doesn’t seem to understand how tenuous gay men’s statuses are. This can be held against Nolan, if not for the simple creepy fact that he sleeps and goes to prom with his sister, that he goes to prom with a woman, he may get a lot of “But are you really gay?” comments. Especially because Nolan dates only one man before going to prom with his sister (and is the one to dump his boyfriend, who he was fake-dating).

Is there more on this I could write? Yes. I probably could, but I also have to get ready to go to a movie with my fiance. So uh... Maybe there will be a part 2? We’ll see. _______ *I personally was forced out of my college’s GSA because the group was actually gay/bisexual people having orgies. So, yea, there’s some problems with certain LGBT+ spaces and being actually open to LGBT+ folks. It was also extremely transphobic and ace-phobic.  **My point with this for clarification is that: I don’t want to be bribed with “lol this person is LGBT+ cuuuute!?” headcanon or otherwise. I am fine with that form of headcanoning, or AUs, but the idea of playing with gender identity and pulling it off as cute, especially by cis or straight people is skeevy and at best, ignorant, at worst, fetishistic.  Link List: LGBT Exploitation in Fandom: we are not here for your entertainment

Fetishizing Homosexuality

gbpt boys’ ask about women readers of mlm stories

The Mary Sue’s On The Fetishization of Gay Men by Women in the Slash Community

Why Are So Many Gay Romances Written By Straight Women?

The Lack of Published Gay YA by Gay Authors? Let’s Talk About It

#long post #lgbt #gay issues #lgbt issues #fandom #fandom issues

[faveanimeships]

hi!! i saw your thing about sending you ship requests, so here's mine! i'm 5' 4", korean, and i have shoulder-length dark hair. i wear circle glasses, and i have a terrible prescription. i love to read, listen to classical music, and i'm a foodie! i eat when i'm sad. i'm blunt and direct, along with rather reserved, and i have a hard time letting people get close to me. but, once i do, i love and care for them to no end!!!! i like to dress comfortably (ex. leggings and sweatshirt).

i’m so sorry i just read your rules for your ships and i sent in the description about the korean girl w circle glasses please forgive me … this is for haikyuu, i am infp-t, ravenclaw, and i am bisexual (i use she/her pronouns). i’m so sorry for not reading the rules before!!

Henlo okay so im sorry this was super late I have no excuse to give bcs I procrastinate so much anyways youre super cute yeet plz don’t apologise hahahahha I totes relate sad eat, angry eat, happy eat, depressed eat and stress eat yeet omG CLASSICAL MUSIC WATAFAK I IIIIIII REALLY REALLY REALLY LIKE CHOPIN MY FAVE IS HIS NOCTURNE OP.9 NO.2 OR FANTAISIE IMPROMPTU (I know like theyre so different idk im super bipolar aahahah) WHOS YOUR FAVE !!!! l also like Mozart and some Vivaldi hahahaha dw I also wear prescription and its getting worse everyday yeet I should stop looking at screens

Ps we are super similar like im an INFJ

Anyways lets get to your ships

I SHIP YOU WITH Tooru Oikawa !!

You are reserved, shy, blunt, comfortable, open minded and prefer to trust your gut feeling; you’re also thirsty for knowledge and love to learn. Your ability to have an open mind will only lead you to pursue new interests and new genres. When you’re looking for a partner you would probably look for someone accepting or equally open-minded, and probably someone empathetic. I’m not sure bur your reserved personality may bring you lots of outgoing friends, and maybe when you’re looking for a partner, you’d be the listener in the relationship. You’d be great at giving empathetic advices, especially emotional ones since you know, you’d get a feeling of what and what not to say, which IMO is amazing. Looking at your description, you’d be the calm person in the relationship due to your reserved and caring nature, and so you’d probably prefer a louder partner?

Oikawa is flirty, childish, smug, intelligent, slightly ambitious and cunning. But at the same time, he doesn’t have much self-confidence and is quick to defend himself if he thinks he will get hurt. He’s also a very careless person, as Iwa-chan mentioned, he’d push himself to practice because of he felt as if he was inferior to tobio or ushiwaka. THEREFORE I ship you with him, both of you can form a very strong bond. Oikawa hates relying on people but if you successfully assure him that he can always come to you when he’s feeling under the weather, he would try to rely on you and thus, a supportive relationship is born!!!! I feel like due to your calm and empathetic nature, you can soothe poor Tooru, give him great advice when he’s pushing himself too hard/ feeling inferior. You’d be his ‘rock’ and stabilise him. You’d pull him out if he’s stressed out or overthinking, or even stop him from making childish or rash decisions that he will come to regret later. Of course, Oikawa is still stubborn to a degree, hence you will improve your reasoning skills, and he will eventually come to understand that it’s because you love and care for him and that’s why you’re stopping him from making regretful decisions. (To add on to this: you’re blunt but and you won’t sugar coat words, but Tooru needs to listen to the truth behind his actions, so your blunt and direct way of speaking would be very beneficial to him) You’re caring so you’d try to understand him and then help him out. You’d be am amazing listener.

ALSO Oikawa loves to talk about his day, and you’d probably love to listen to him talk, he loves cuddling and stroking your hair, he’s a big fan of PDA and he would always try to make time for you but volleyball, sadly is his priority. It would be great if you supported him wholeheartedly and encouraged him. Obviously, Oikawa loves to spoil and care for you!! He’s very observant and he knows how to utilise everyone’s skillset and talents, and obviously, he would keep a close eye on you and would probably suggest that you try new things/ comment on how he thinks you’re particularly good at something.  He would also recommend that you try new things if he thinks you are suitable for it, for example, he may think you have great flexibility and will suggest you take up a sport that will improve your flexibility and also potentially become something you enjoy. He’s also great at encouraging you and will definitely eat with you when you’re sad, he would probably bring you to his favourite ramen place and say that he’s buying you food instead, hoping to see you smile uwu

Anyways Oikawa is also really smart (class 6!!!!!), both of you can study together and become the unbeatable smart couple (yeet), revision sessions include weird puns yall make up from the revision material, helping each other out with tricky questions or solving tricky questions together. Tooru is a fun partner and he would be amazing to be around. When you’re stressed out he’d suggest yall take a break and give you an amazing massage.

Things he likes:

1.     Cuddling

2.     You TALKING!!!

3.     PDA PDA

4.     Cute pecks

5.     You coming to his games and cheering him on

6.     Mutual trust

7.     Meeting each other despite your hectic schedules (even for 5 minutes)

8.     Meeting at least once a week

9.     Spending time with you

10.  Eating milk bread with you

(A/N: IDK WHY BUT I FEEL LIKE you and iwachan are probs siblings with very similar personalities yeet ???)

I also ship you with (under the cut)!!!

Issei Matsukawa

Matssun looks intimidating but he’s really just an idiot + funny person!! He would be a big tease, will initiate PDA but will get really bashful when you try to do it. Matssun is funny and will always pull pranks on you with Makki, and you could turn into a prankster yourself (heh) Although Matssun isn’t big fan of reading or classical music and it shows, maybe it’s good to date your polar opposite (he’d be a Gryffindor) he’s not loud but he can be if he wants. Occasionally you may find him being loud around you (he likes attention from his S/O) but you will grow to love that side of him! Matssun usually shows that he cares by joking around (he just wants you to smile) but he’s quite the observant one so he wouldn’t go too far with his jokes. He’s very clear about boundaries. Matssun is generally a very good natured and fun person to be around, he’s great at supporting people, he knows how to pull your confidence levels up, and will give amazing advice. He’s also amazing at encouragement (although he shows it in his own unique way). Plus, he’s also very good at dealing with blunt comments so he won’t be offended easily, would probably know how to talk back when you offer him a blunt statement. He’s also very keen on eating, he loves to eat, so he’s always down for some good food! At some point, he will probably attempt to cook for you, but yea I’ll leave that up to your imagination.

ALSO Matssun also appreciates the fact that you love to dress comfortably, so he wouldn’t need to worry about you not dressing warm and catching a cold during winter, he can be a worrywart at times, so he loves it when you dress comfortably ++ he loves your style!!!!! ALSO you’re quiet and reserved, Matssun is chill and laid back, so I would say it’s a pretty calm and laid back relationship!

Matssun would absolutely love it if you would attend his volleyball matches and support him, Oikawa has too many fangirls, he would love it if you waved at him = he would be super energised hahahaha

Yukie Shirofuku

Yukie is an amazing person tbh she’s super underrated, this queen can eat 4 onigiris at the same time yeet anyways, Yukie is a polite, mature and laid back person, she’s also great at studying and probably likes books?? Both of you can geek out together and discuss about different books ++ she also likes napping but like imagine this you reading while she naps next to you TUT so cute besides She would probably be interested in classical music if you introduced it to her, if you told her about your favourite pieces, she would add it to her usual playlist if it fits her mood  uwu also she would also be down for concerts, and would defs love it if you asked her to go with you!!! ALSO YUKIE IS A BIG PHAT FOODIE. You would go on dates to different restaurants/ cafes to eat, pig out together and watch a movie, café hopping dates, its just too cute!!! She would also make cute lunch boxes for you when you’re sad because she loves you and wants you to be happy!!

Yukie is also a very supportive person (I mean she has to deal with bokuto’s emo mood)  and would provide amazing encouragement!! I think she’d be okay with your bluntness, she’s not a sensitive person and knows how to react when you’re blunt with her!!!

Yachi Hitoka

-       Awkward mess

-       Teeny bit sensitive, but appreciates your bluntness bcs sometimes blunt is what she needs (like hinata haha)

-       Super fun to be around, would draw you

-       Artsy movie dates

-       Café dates !!!

-       Great listener, doesn’t really know what to say but will always give you a hug

-       Supportive baby, loves to hold your hand when you’re alone

Thank you for your patience !! hope you like it !!!

#anon #haikyuu!! #ships #haikyuu matchups #haikyuu matchup