#“I’m gonna dump some tea in a harbor”

[timextoxhajima]

Love Me A Little Less: Chapter 10 - Pudding & Champagne

LOVE ME A LITTLE LESS CHAPTER MASTERLIST

Member: (3rd person pov) arranged marriage au with Lee Juyeon

Genre: angsty wangsty

Taglist: @hyunjaethereal @sunwoowuvbot​ @suzy-rainbow @miingxuxi​​​​

“What would it have been like, had she been the one in Kim Jang Won’s shoes instead?”

“What was that about?” Jang Won’s look of disapproval is the strongest on her face now than he has ever seen on her. “The Hell’s wrong with you? Have you not been to a check-up before? Were you mad you couldn’t go in with me? What?”

“We... can get you to another hospital for your check-ups, how’s that? I can recommend you my family doctor and he’s one of the best in the city-”

“What? Is that what it is? You’re upset because I’m not seeing ‘one of the best doctors’ in the city?”

Juyeon refuses to respond, her wrist in his grip as she’s trying to wriggle her way out. “Juyeon!”

“Please, just shut up, and trust me, will you?”

“Trust you? You don’t even want to tell me what the Hell’s going on!” 

Upon reaching the car, Juyeon finally releases her, leaving a bright peach-pink mark on her wrists where he held her too tightly. He pulls open the passenger’s door, but she violently slams it back shut, palm reaching out and pressing into the line where the top of the door connects to the roof of the car.

“We’re not going anywhere until you tell me what that was.”

“Jesus Christ, will you just trust me for this once? This has nothing to do with HERA & ARTEMIS or your family! This is for your own health and I... I have my own reasons, okay?” Juyeon huffs, running his hands through his hair and ruining the efforts of Younghoon’s hairstylist from the morning. “Not everything is about money, or your reputation, or The Board, okay? I just have a bad feeling about... this.”

Jang Won reels backwards, frown deepening and her lips pursed into a tight, thin, suspicious line. 

He inhales a sharp breath, turning around on his feet and paces up and down in the next lot. He sucks in his lips between his teeth with his hands on the back of his neck. Silently; harshly, begging his intelligence to cook up some stupid, believable reason before she drives a knife into his back for being unreasonable. 

“Okay,” Whirling around, he lifts a single finger and approaches her slowly. “So don’t change hospitals. But every time you go for your check-up, you tell me. If she prescribes you medication, I see it, okay?”

Her pupils are shaking, now that he’s closer and he’s got his palms on her shoulders. Her lips part, wishing to hurl a string of vulgarities at him for even thinking he can dictate her life.

But then he opens his arms and wraps them around her, her frown fading and shock replacing her anger instead. His breath is heavy into the hair that fell onto her back, and she can feel his chest rising against her shoulders.

“What the- Juyeon...”

“Please, just promise me this one thing,” The layer of wetness coat his eyes, and he keeps his mouth open to regulate his breathing. “Please.”

There’s a growing, uneasy nausea in her stomach when she struggles to process his words. It’s in her instincts to pull away, probably send a palm into one of his cheeks for thinking that he has the autonomy and power to decide what she gets to do and what she doesn’t, but she can’t. Almost ashamed, she finds herself buying his plea. 

Is this what genuine care and concern sounds like?

He pulls away, the heat of the carpark air rushing between their bodies. He’s searching her face for any sign of relent, any sign of resignation, and she finds desperation in his. The questions in her head can’t even begin to formulate, because there’s absolutely no reason for Juyeon to be so bothered by her health, and yet he’s got no agenda to be suspicious about. 

He’d be the richer, more powerful one of the two in just about a month’s time.

“Jang Won.”

“Okay!” Shutting her eyes and raising her hands, she trembles as she agrees. “Okay. I’ll bring you along whenever I come for a check-up.”

Relief washes over him, and she can see his lungs deflate, like he was holding his breath waiting for her response. She looks away, unable to maintain any form of eye contact with him after experiencing what seems to be like cared for. It’s disgustingly alien, and it kind of wants to make her cry too. 

It’s like finding your favourite toy stashed away in some obscure cabinet after 20 years. 

Juyeon rests his palms on her shoulders again, then gradually pulls her in once more, this time gentler; less aggressive. A protest rises in her throat, but is interrupted by the form of his palm stroking the hair on the back of her head. 

Yoo Hye In is twirling the stray bit of fringe hanging from her face, Jang Won’s folder in her left hand, stuck between her torso and her right elbow. It was a pity she had missed most of the conversation between her patient and her husband, but nonetheless, the sight of them intrigues her. 

What would it have been like, had she been the one in Kim Jang Won’s shoes instead?

The Porsche starts up with a melancholic atmosphere - not a single word exchanged between the two when they part and he opens the door for her. Already, she can tell that Juyeon is harboring a parasite, one that he will grow to hate and despise. His heart is opening up to her, a piece of stone-cold, less-than-human brat who has no clue how lucky she was to be born into the family that shouldn’t even have existed. The warmth for Kim Jang Won was beginning to brew in the depths of Juyeon’s gut, against his wishes, against his needs, against his wants.

He must have a world of problems to worry about, and now, to throw Kim Jang Won into the floor plan?

Yoo Hye In fails to contain the slight smirk that arises on her lips when the car drives off with Juyeon at the wheel. Pushing herself off the wall of the lift lobby, she turns, heading back into the lift. 

Younghoon was busy sieving through the racks and racks and racks of clothes in the second master bedroom when he hears his little sister’s heels clack and echo along the corridor. 

“Ms Kim, your brother is here.”

“Huh?”

“Surprise!” Younghoon sticks his head out of the second master, eyeing the couple entering the hallway and the butler chasing after them from the stairs. 

“What are you doing with my honeymoon closet?” She hurriedly steps over, heels clacking noisily as she rushes to greet him with a slap on his arm. 

“Tea will be ready in 15, Mr Lee,” Mr Ro bows from the stairs, not bothering to make it to the second floor. Juyeon nods, turning to listen to the muffled bickering emitting from the second master.

“This is alot of clothes for a cool climate. It’s not gonna snow, is it?” Younghoon dumps himself in one of the sofa seats by the coffee table, bringing his feet up to the edge of the bed where some leather patches were displaying scarfs and other garments. Jang Won reaches over and slaps his feet off, pressing down into the scarfs to neaten them. 

“No, it’s not. But you know me, I’m extra and greedy and I have no clue what’s appropriate, so.”

Juyeon enters the room, eyes glossing over the almost 20 racks of clothes, and easily half of them were clothes for him, from HERA & ARTEMIS (and probably like, Dior, and Chanel, or LV, or Gucci, or HERMES). He bows and greets Younghoon, who waves it off nonchalantly as he stands.

“I heard you stayed over,” Raising an arm and casually resting it over Juyeon’s shoulders, Younghoon cheekily side-eyes him. 

“It was an impromptu situation,” Juyeon’s eyes slightly widen with caution.

“Yeah, he ran away from home. Lovely, right?” Jang Won chortles, moving over to one of the racks and skimming through the dresses. 

Younghoon chuckles in disbelief, brows high up on his forehead as he turns to Juyeon, holding him by his shoulder. 

“What?” His glossy eyes flicker. “I’m technically her husband now, which means I could technically live here too.”

“You wish,” Jang Won removes some clothes from the rack and into an empty one.

“Anyway, I managed to get a PI to dig out more information on Mr Nam’s body swap.”

“Body swap?” Juyeon’s eyes light up with caution disguised in curiosity. “You mean... the one that replaced your father?”

“The one and only,” Jang Won sings with a matter-of-fact tone. 

“They actually didn’t figure out much, which is weird, but we did get information on where he used to go for health check ups. Turns out, he went to the same hospital as you do.”

“Aren’t the hospital fees expensive? Did Artemis Ent. provide coverage costs?”

“We don’t cover the entire bill but there is a discount or some kind of partial coverage.”

“Did we get a doctor’s name or something?”

“Multiple, actually,” Younghoon scratches the line where his hairline meets his forehead. “He kept changing doctors because his diagnosis kept changing.”

“This is alot of information at once. Can’t you get it in a folder and have it mailed to me or something? My honeymoon is soon and I’d like the time to myself and not worry about a dead man.”

“Sure, it’s not like I was gonna recite every piece of information to you now,” Younghoon turns and heads for the door. “Tea’s ready, by the way.”

And then, for some strange reason, Younghoon runs.

“Oh! No!” Jang Won’s sudden change in mannerism stuns Juyeon. She flings the clothes back onto her bed and dashes after Younghoon right after he leaves the room. “No! You’re gonna finish the pudding on your own!”

The footsteps slam down into the marble floor when Younghoon starts running down the steps as well. She yells, and her heels click-clack to an abrupt stop for her to remove her shoes. 

“You’re going on your honeymoon, you should give me the pudding!”

With one sharp burst of a sprint, Jang Won manages to catch up to Younghoon, pulling his neck into a headlock and struggling to yank the end of his blazer over his head. 

“Agh!” He shouts, almost losing his balance as he stumbles backwards. “That’s cheating!”

Jang Won giggles, the marble cold against her feet as she pushes past him and runs backwards into the dining hall. Panting, she turns on her heels, hair slightly tousled but the scent of butter pudding wafting in the air was enough to make an appetite.

However, her appetite hits the streets once she sees that the table was one seat occupied. Her breaths immediately become shallow as Younghoon pats himself down, reaching the table and sitting down even before she does. 

“What-”

“Ms Kim,” Mr Ro interrupts, pushing the kitchen door open for the kitchen staff to bring out one more tray of cream puffs. “A guest must also eat.”

“But-”

“Do you want him to die in your house? And then compromise... everything?”

Jang Won puffs her cheeks and frowns. Glaring at Mr Ro, she pulls out the nearest seat, far, far away from her father, and dumps her butt in the chair. 

Watching Jang Won sit down in her seat like a child after acting like one with her brother draws a susceptible smile on Juyeon’s face as he makes his way into the dining hall. 

She picks up the fork as Juyeon bows subtly to Kim Jo-Pil, taking a seat next to her. 

“‘A guest must also eat’,” She whines under her breath. Juyeon’s gaze darts to her when he can hear her mockery. “‘Do you want him to die in your house?’”

“You know I can hear you, right?” Younghoon calls from across the table, hands occupied with spreading jam across his toast. 

“Does it look like I was talking to you?” Jang Won sticks her tongue out at him, and he does the same.

“Children,” Juyeon criticises under his breath, smirk prancing on his lips. In his peripheral vision, he spots a smile emerging on Kim Jo-Pil’s face. It’s the kind of smile that only a father would have, when he’s at the dining table watching his two children argue with one another.

Kim Jo-Pil can’t decide if he was grateful or resentful for the fact that he was alive again. Fate has a strange way of forcing people into thinking the worst or the best out of situations that you weren’t meant to be in, and right now, Kim Jo-Pil knows for a fact that he shouldn’t be sitting here. 

He should’ve been lying in a coffin, 6 feet under, rotting. He had been given a second shot at life, and by the last person he’d expected to birth him one. 

But if Yoo Hye In had Se Kyung’s eyes, Jang Won had the rest of her. 

On the balcony outside Jang Won’s massive bedroom, Juyeon finds himself fiddling with a glass of champagne that Mr Ro had offered him in secret. Jang Won’s favourite champagne, tens of thousands of dollars per bottle.

In the distance and past the metal bars, he can make out the lights in the city against the navy-blue nightsky. All the tall skyscrapers and amongst one of them was the building his family owned, where he should’ve been today and all the days prior. Maybe even next week. But he’d be halfway across the globe in about 5 days, spending time with his wife, not by choice, but by force - and yet he’s gone all soft for her. It’s strange, how his expectations have changed drastically throughout this ordeal. For some moments in this silence he has to himself, he worries if this is sympathy he feels for her.

Then again, sympathy is better than if it were anything more serious. 

Like love.

The door being pulled open from behind him drags him out of his drowning thoughts. The secrets piled up in his memory chucks itself away in fear upon the sight of Jang Won’s head sticking out through the gap between the doors.

“I’ve been told a bottle of my favourite champagne has been opened.”

Juyeon turns back to the glass sitting on the floor and picks it up. “I was given this glass, in case you were wondering if I went into your wine cellar. Want the rest?”

With a childish grin on her face, Jang Won pulls out the entire bottle and an empty from behind her back. Juyeon raises both brows in delightful surprise, chuckling under his breath. 

“I was gonna offer it to you anyway, so it doesn’t matter that Mr Ro’s given you a glass himself,” She slots the rest of her body through the gaps and shuts it behind her. Sinking into the sofa seat (Juyeon had known it was hers and decided to make himself comfortable on the floor instead), she places the bottle on the stand and yanks the cork off. 

“You were gonna offer me your favourite champagne?” He raises a skeptic brow. “After you called me a coward yesterday? After our wedding?”

“That was yesterday?” Jang Won tilts the bottle over her glass. “Feels like last week.”

He snorts at her attempt to change the focus of the conversation. “It does.”

“I just... thought that since the wedding was all for show and none of it was real...” She places the bottle back down and swirls the champagne. “At least this was by choice.”

“What, hanging out on your balcony and drinking champagne?”

Jang Won snickers and pulls her legs onto the seat, taking a sip of her share. 

“Are you really okay with giving me 50% of HERA & ARTEMIS though?” 

“I don’t have a choice, do I? I’m not gonna give my father all 100% of it.”

Juyeon turns away and stares at the bit of champagne left in his glass. “What’s your plan after that? After your father and I get half each and your brother for Artemis Ent.”

“I’ll worry about that then,” She gulps down the rest of her champagne, then reaches over to grab the bottle. “Right now, I just can’t wait to get out of here.”

Juyeon’s finishes the rest of his champagne then looks up to see her gulping straight from the bottle. 

“Do you have a death wish?” He stands and places his glass next to hers. She doesn’t stop. Wrapping his fingers around the cool glass, he gently pulls it away from her lips and tears it out of her grip. Judging by the weight of the bottle, she’s downed half of it in one shot. 

He sucks in a deep breath, turning and leaving the bottle in the corner of the balcony where it’s out of her reach. 

“Do you think your parents love you?”

The question turns his attention back to her. 

“Why do you ask that?” His voice is quiet and low as he sits himself between her and the bottle. “You know I would say no but I can’t say that in front of you.”

“Do you think they did what they did solely for the family’s name?”

“Their defence would be that I get to live with the benefits. So-”

“I’m not talking about them, I’m asking about what you think.”

Juyeon pauses to think, but Jang Won speaks first anyway.

“I think they do, you know. That they do love you. They just... grew up in an environment where they’re just doing what their parents did for them. They turned out fine, so I think they just assume you’ll turn out fine as well.”

“‘Fine’ now is different from being ‘fine’ in the 1960s and 70s,” Juyeon leans his head against the metal bars keeping him safe within the balcony. 

Jang Won’s head was resting against the backseat of the sofa chair, hair dribbled all over the woven wooden strips and her eyes reflecting the dim, amber balcony lights from above. She’s tired, and definitely feeling like the entire world is against her. 

If she squinted hard enough, she could barely make out the huge H&A signs stuck to the side of shopping malls all around the city. By now, she can feel her cheeks heat up from the alcohol ingested in such a short amount of time, but luckily for her, the amber lights are helping the pink in her cheeks camouflage into her skin. 

She turns to find Juyeon staring at the bottle’s label, like he were memorizing the details of it.

“I’ll get you a new bottle,” Juyeon holds the neck and grunts as he stands, hands reaching for the cork on the stand. “Also, your cheeks are pink. I think that’s good enough reason to get you to sleep.”

Juyeon reaches for the door grip to slide it open, pulling it open just a few inches. 

“I miss my mom.”

He stops. 

“Tomorrow’s her death anniversary,” She whispers under her breath. “It’s been five long years without her.”

They lock eyes, but Jang Won turns away first. 

“Hera’s Manor was meant for the both of us. The blueprint of the house... every room and every statue purchased and made the way we wanted it to be made. But before the house could be moved into, she leaves me. All alone.”

Jang Won’s eyes flit to Juyeon, and he can’t look at her in the eye. He’s not used to her opening up like this, but it’s all thanks to the champagne anyway. Never in a million years would she bother to do this if she wasn’t tipsy. 

“I mean... Does she know I’m here now? In this very spot, wondering what had gone wrong?”

Juyeon lowers his head and seals his eyes shut. The guilt stirs within him.

“I wish I could tell her that I’m okay, at least. She always worried about me more than Younghoon, for some strange reason, because I was a girl in the administration of The Board,” Her voice cracks and Juyeon’s eyes are open now. “And yet, I’m the one taking care of him now.”

She gulps loudly, trying her best to swallow the ball of sobs stuck in her throat. Shaking her head and prying out a painful smile, she finally snaps when she looks down into her lap where her hands are.

Gritting her teeth, and pursing her lips, it’s a meagre attempt at trying to stop the hiccups that are already in the back of her mouth. The tears begin to collect in her palms and kiss the material of her pajama pants, the warmth seeping through the cotton and sticking it to her thighs. 

The shuffling rustles through her left ear, followed by a soft thud of the glass decanter, and then she feels a warmth hold her hands. Cold tears bleed through the lines of their palms when she opens her eyes, just barely, to meet Juyeon’s. 

He’s got a painful, pitiful look in his eyes that she would punch him in the face for, but even she can’t disagree that she was being a sad mope right now. 

“Your mother knows,” He nods, reaching up to her forehead and pushing a strand of hair out of her tear streaks. “I promise you.”

Her facial muscles crush towards the middle when the sobs finally break past her discipline, and she crumbles her face into her hands. The sorrow in Juyeon carefully motivates her off the seat, and he shuffles to get his back against the metal bars of the balcony, and her in his arms between his legs. 

His nose sours and his vision starts to blur when he can feel her torso shiver and jerk with every sob he hears. The side of her head nestles into his left shoulder, hands tightly clenched together against her stomach with his elbow resting on her bent knees. 

He parts his lips to inhale, but he looks down to watch the tears drip off her chin. 

“Are you going to meet Younghoon to see your mother tomorrow?” He whispers, gently pushing her hair out of her tears. 

She sniffles, wiping away the mucus on her philtrum. “Yeah.”

“Okay,” He nods, keeping her head on his shoulder. “I’ll go with you.”

“Okay.”

#multifandomnet #destinyverse #the boyz scenarios #juyeon scenarios #the boyz fanfic #juyeon fanfic #the boyz imagines #juyeon imagines #the boyz juyeon imagines #the boyz juyeon fanfic #the boyz juyeon scenarios #tbz juyeon #lee juyeon #the boyz #the boyz juyeon #juyeon angst #the boyz angst #love me a little less

[tce070]

The Ameba Virus Manifesto Part VI

The world is small on a computer.  You can reach different people from all across the globe in an instant through social media, email, forums, blogs, etcetera but what makes it happen is motive.  This is the question of why?  Why do people do the things that they do?  I’m compelled to write the Ameba Virus Manifesto Part VI because of this aching question we ask ourselves everyday.

If you know who I am, you know that the revolution flows through my veins.  I hate the system and what its done to me but then again I’m also very thankful for what it has done for me.  The government has taught me everything I know via public school but the people shouldn’t be afraid of their government.   The government should be afraid of the people.  What happened yesterday was a rogue leader incited a mob just like Adolf Hitler did on Crystal Night but instead of Jewish homes and businesses being ransacked it was the Senate building!  

In the 18th century, English royalty was appalled to find out a bunch of crazy white men dressed as Indians and dumped all the imported tea straight into the harbor!  A new revolution is happening before our very eyes!  The mob in Washington DC was just a minut group of Trump supporters.  Alligators in the swamp!  Crocodiles in Cancun.  Humans all over the Earth.  

We both know that the internet is an open forum for revolution.  Information and messages are uploaded on a daily basis.  Terabytes of it!  Whatever is after terabytes.  Now I have been actively uploading since I started this blog back in 2012 when the Mayan Doomsday was gonna happen.  I did it because before it was the Mayan Doomsday it was something else!  Y2K or whatever the fuck Christian preachers have been setting dates in time for thousands of years so back in 2012 I figured I would try to put a stop to it.  

I have emailed thousands of journalists stating that I casted Lucifer Satan into the pits of Hell for 1000 years and the next day when I woke up the Pope resigned!  I have passed out tens of thousands of flyers across the nation in an attempt to campaign to become the Antichrist.  Why would I want to become the Antichrist you may ask?  And I’m not talking about being some loser that tats 666 on his ass cheek I am talking about seriously becoming God’s greatest enemy!  Why would I wanna do that you may ask?  Because somebody has to do it and the news media has failed in calling out who the Antichrist is before.  I will use the mark of the beast which is O o or 0 to do absolutely nothing!  Why would I want to become the Antichrist and do nothing?  To prove to all of you just how wrong prophecy can be.

The 7 years of tribulation have turned into 9 and the 144,000 mark has been obliterated.  I have lost multiple jobs, went to mental hospitals, went to jail, and lost all my friends.  I have said some of the most outrageous things imaginable but check out my comic strips online #BATHOSCODA #APROPOSGENESIS alien zombie shape shifting reptilian creatures ever since 2013!  I have written over 20 short stories to help people understand the things that go on in my head.  I believe that Christmas and Easter are just as much a conspiracy as 9/11 and the Boston Marathon bombings.  I think God is Allah and Allah is God.  Jesus is the son of Mary and the Jewish Messiah is still MIA.  The truth is I am tired of End Time Biblical Prophecies because the truth is the sun is gonna disintegrate the Earth in 500 million years.  

Carter Troughton

The Internet 

#Ameba Virus Manifesto #Revolution

[garbage-empress]

hey guys did you know that super mario bros 2 for the nintendo entertainment system wasn’t really a mario game originally it was part of government mind control program MKUltra II?

The Super Mario Bros. Super Show! quotes This is a list of quotes from the television show The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!. They are listed by character. Contents 1 Mario 2 Luigi 3 King Koopa 4 Toad 5 Princess Toadstool Mario"Hey paisanos! It's The Super Mario Bros. Super Show!" - Opening Credits "Do the Mario!" - Closing Credits "Don't worry, Princess! Luigi and me'll climb that mountain before you can say "Spaghetti and Meatballs"! -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Okay, wait here! And if you become lunch for a polar bear, don't blame us! -"The Bird! The Bird!" "I hate to run on an empty stomach!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Must be a beehive nearby, and when there's bees; there's raviolis smothered with honey" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "If Toad doesn't get us outta here soon, I'm gonna eat this mattress!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job, is when we're working by the hour!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Catfish pizza? This may be a first, but I'm not hungry!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Excuse my brother, he gets nervous around guys six times bigger than him." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "We can fix anything if there's spaghetti involved!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Hey, Koopa! I hope your Big and Tall shop blows up, with you in it!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "Those ain't wedding bells in your tower! They're bats in your belfry!" - "Love 'Em and Leave 'Em" "Hey! Where'd you learn how to ride a bike!?" - "The Great BMX Race" "Get back here, Koopa! Don't you know vegetables are good for you?" - "The Great BMX Race" "Not on my melted mozzarella! - "Stars in Their Eyes" "If food isn't pasta, it doesn't count!" - "Jungle Fever" "Unstoppable? We're plumbers! If we can unstop a stop, we can stop the unstoppable!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Magnifico! You're stronger than Grandma Mia's garlic chip cookies!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Faster than a vanishing clog! More powerful than an electric drainsnake! It's Super Mario!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "She's not much, but she sure beats swimmin'!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" "If you can't beat 'em, join 'em! Then beat 'em!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" "Remember, Luigi, you gotta act tough!" - "Pirates of the Koopa" *singing* "Hush, little Princess, don't you cry. I'm gonna buy you a pizza pie. And if that pizza pie gets ate, Luigi'll buy you a New York steak." - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "This is the first time my lunch ever took a bite out of me!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "I just love food that's spicy!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "I always cry at wedding feasts!" - "Mario and Joliet" "Koopa's gonna take a trip he didn't plan on!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I hope the food's better than the furniture!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "As we say in Brooklyn; Banzai!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Save the spaghetti! Save the spaghetti!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa" "Koopone, you've Kooped your last Koop!" - "The Unzappables" "It doesn't look good for the good guys, Luigi!" - "The Mark of Zero" "I guess Mexican food doesn't agree with El Koopitan!" - "The Mark of Zero" "When Luigi's unfrozen, he's goin' on a diet!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "It's ugly, but it floats!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "What? Only one pizza?" - "Quest for Pizza" "The Mushroom People get the mine, and Koopa gets the shaft!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "When the plumbing gets tough, the tough get plumbing!" - "Plummers Academy" "I can't quit now, Luigi! I was born with a plunger in my hand!" - "Plummers Academy" "Me Marzan! King of the jungle!" - "Mario of the Apes" "Can't we discuss this man to Mouser?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "First, we'd better get inside by a fire, before we turn into pasta-sicles!" - "Little Red Riding Princess" "The Provolone Ranger is ready to ride. High ho, Ostro, away!" - "The Provolone Ranger" "Help, help! There's a big, ugly spider in here! Help! My yelling's gonna keep you up all night, unless you get this spider outta here!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "Luigi, are you a man or a Mouser?" - "Mario of the Deep" "I guess somedays, even Super Mario can't think of everything!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Don't count your reptiles before they're hatched, lizard lips!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom" "I was hoping we'd have lunch, not be lunch!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I just love playin' Koopa in the middle!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I just had the strangest dream. I was a TV dinner!" - "Star Koopa" "He's showing a plumber how a garbage disposal works?" - "Star Koopa" "Watch it, gang! His toes are loaded!" - "Robo Koopa"Luigi"I can't! I'm allergic to mountains!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "P-polar bear? Lunch!?" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Hey, Super Mario! Super-cook their goose!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" (*sobs*) He was the nicest little fungus I ever knew!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Who could forget? Don't take chances or you'll go down the drain!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "C-c-crama's here in-in Koopalot? Uh, I mean, uh, Koopa's here in Cramalot? I mean, uh, shee, let's split this place!" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "Me? B-b-but I can't swim across the moat! I'm, uh, gonna have a baby!" - "King Mario of Cramalot" "Fellons? Yo, I never fell on nobody! I'm uh..." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Oh no! End dend! I mean, dend dead! I mean shee, we're trapped!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "I've had it! I've had it, I've had it! I'm tired of Koopa chasing us from world to world! I wanna go home!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Guess we're stayin' in Mushroom Land." - "Brooklyn Bound" "Mama mia! We shoulda rented a camel with air conditioning!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Look at that loot! Diamonds, gold, rubies! It must be worth over a hundred bucks!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "I told him that he wants really yummy carpet to head for Koopa." - Mario's Magic Carpet "So, what do we do now, Mr. Big Time Gambler?" - "Rolling Down the River" "Okay, Mario. One all ya got, coming up!" - "Rolling Down the River" "He's too busy eating, Mario! He's your kind of horse." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Hey! That's my brother Mario, you three-faced double-crosser!" - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Leapin' lasagna! This room's bigger than the Brooklyn Public Library!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "I th-think I liked it better when we outnumbered them!" - "The Great BMX Race" "I'd feel better if we went back and got my stomach." - "The Great BMX Race" "That's what I call Shower Power!" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Yo, my brother: the pasta vampire." - "Count Koopula" "Gee, that Mario. He can pulverize a pasta factory and still have room for dessert!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "Gee. Mario gets the brainstorms, and I get the backaches!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "You got 'em!" - "Koopenstein" "You don't got 'em." - "Koopenstein" "Let's really keep it a secret that we're agents, uhh, by stayin' here"! - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "Eh, it was nothin'! Danger is our business!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "Annette Funicello? Where?" - "Mario and Joliet" "Pluggin' up pipes goes against everythin' we stand for!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "Zelda of Legend! Next the from scenes! Some me show halfwit you!" - "Time Out Luigi" "The dungeon? I'm allergic to dungeons!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "Better make that "The more for Mario"!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "We're stuck here like hairballs in a drainpipe!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Hey! I may be crazy, but I'm not dumb!" - "Mario and the Red Baron Koopa" "This place is emptier than a flushed drainpipe!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "I want my mommy!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "The Koopas are coming! The Koopas are coming!" "When our soldiers thaw out, we're gonna throw your tea in the harbor!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "But I get seasick on a horse!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "Aww, Toad. Did'ya hafta say dead?" - "The Trojan Koopa" "How ooga bugga-mugga wa-ooga-ma!" - "Quest for Pizza" "Ouch! Someone's standin' on my toe, and it's not me!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "Mario's mind was where it always is: on pasta." - "Karate Koopa" "Relax, princess! He knows who he is! Mario's always gone ape for meatballs!" - "Mario of the Apes" "I'm a chicken of the sea!" - "Mario of the Deep" "The only good thing so far is: we got to ride the roller coaster without a ticket!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Stop him, Mario! Tell him Italian food is not on his diet!" - "Crocodile Mario" "I knew we should've built this raft with brakes!" - "Crocodile Mario" "Bein' garbage really makes a guy feel down in the dumps!" - "Star Koopa" "Koopa was scary enough when he was just a slimy reptile!" - "Robo Koopa"King Koopa"Koopa Pack, attack!" - Various episodes "He who koops and runs away lives to koop another day!" - Various episodes "Watch it soldier, when I want my feet licked, I'll ask for it! {quickly} I want my feet licked." - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Like my grandfather Poopa La Koopa always said: "Cheat, beat, and be merry!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Don't know what I'd do without my carpet phone!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "I'll get you for this, you pesky plumbers! A Koopa never forgets!" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Happy? Imposter! I never use the H word." - "Rolling Down the River" "Fool! Those pinhead plumbers are bound to try to rescue Princess Toadstool, and I intend to capture them before they do." - "Rolling Down the River" "Don't question my orders, you rotten rodent! Just do it!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Don't interrupt me, not while I'm boasting and gloating!" - "Rolling Down the River" "Stop wisecracking, mushroom, or I'll turn you into soap!" - "Rolling Down the River" "One of the nice things about being evil is... you get to lie a lot.  Ha ha." - "The Great Gladiator Gig" "Fum fee fi fo! I smell the brothers Mario!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "That goose is gonna smother you brothers!" - "Mario and the Beanstalk" "OK, that does it! You're all gonna be Koopatized!"  - "The Great BMX Race" "There'll be other crooked races and other ways to cheat!" - "The Great BMX Race" "You're breaking my heart, princess! Now, get to work! Now that you and these Quirks are my slaves, I got other planets to plunder! *laughs*" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "You call that music? Stop that racket! I hate that music! I hate spaghetti! I hate Quirks! I hate those faucet freaks!" - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Alright! Which one of you messed up? Who ruined all my sneaky underhanded plans?" - "Jungle Fever" "Thank you, princess! You saved me all the trouble of hunting you down! You're so nice to me!" - "Jungle Fever" "The courage beyond compare, the bravery beyond description, I praise this great hero, the superior fiend... me. Koopa Khan the magnificent. If I didn't deserve this, I wouldn't give it to me." - "Brooklyn Bound" "Last one into the cave is a goodie-goodie!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Goodbye, jerkos! And don't come back!" - "Brooklyn Bound" "Those annoying wrench-heads won’t ruin my evil plan! Prepare an ambush, Mouser! Make road pizzas out of them!" - "Toad Warriors" "These fireballs are fantastic! Think of the destruction; think of the wreckage; think of how much this'll lower my heating bill!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Mouser! More marshmallows!" - "The Fire of Hercufleas" "Say ciao to your friends, Princess Toadstool. That's goodbye in Italian, because when you see 'em again, you'll be a tomato sauce sucking vampire, just like me! - "Count Koopula" "Fire a warning shot! ... On second thought, blow the plumber-boys and the Princess right off the boat!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Listen up, you reptile retches! It's time to play 'Auction the Princess'! Do I hear one-thousand gold coins? Remember, the money goes to my favorite charity... Me." - "Pirates of Koopa "I'm rich! I'm filthy, stinkin', mouth-watering rich!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Ga ga goo goo! Now you terrible tots will do all my chores, while I play!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "Stop, or I'll tell on you!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "I'll be back to get you! When I grow up!" - "Two Plumbers and a Baby" "Rotten reptiles! It's that pasta-eatin' plumber!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "You don't scare me, you linguini-lickin' losers!" - "The Adventures of Sherlock Mario" "I'm gonna turn these two fat little plumbers into two flat little plumbers." - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Keep your crown on! You want people to think I'm marrying a nag?" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Boogie with Koopa, you fungus brats! Boogie right into my double-dealing clutches! Gwa-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! (playing flute)" - "The Pied Koopa" "Mouser, this is not a nursery school! This is an evil castle!" - "The Pied Koopa" "No one is that stupid!" - "Koopenstein" "Oh, goody-goody! The Tunnel of Doom! My favorite!" - "On Her Majesty's Sewer Service" "When I get my mitts on you, you're gonna be creamed, Mushroom!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I'm always ready for sneaky badness!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "I love being rotten!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "Just because I said it doesn't mean I meant it!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "You mean I can't destroy the island? I hate those Marios! They always spoil my fun!" - "Too Hot to Handle" "You were hoodwinked by Hooded Robin! I'm gonna pluck that bird nerd wing from wing!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men" "Kiss Koopa's feet and I'll gladly get rid of the sea monster for ya!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Let's ram 'em, slam 'em, and ruin their day!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Pesky persnickety plumbers! I wish they'd never been invented!" - "20,000 Koopas Under the Sea" "Mouser, if anything happens to the princess, I'll turn you into Swiss cheese!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "Too late! His gorgeous self is here!" - "Mighty McMario and the Pot of Gold" "Run, you teensy tempura tasters! I'm gonna squash this city flatter than a tofu pancake!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Scram, pests, or I'll call an exterminator!!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "'"Stand still so I can squash ya, you little vermin!" - "Mario Meets Koop-zilla" "Ba humkoop!" - "Koopa Klaus" "Plug your ears and watch your rears! We're goin' Bob-Omb bowlin'" - "The Unzappables" "Let's stash this cash and dash!" - "The Unzappables" "Gosh, this tyrant business is hard work! I'm too pooped to Koop! Think I'll take a Koopa catnap." - "The Ten Koopmandments" "Lousy lizards! This is enough to make a grown Koopa cry!" - "The Ten Koopmandments" "You call yourself an army, you miserable misfits? Why am I cursed with such incompetents?!" - "The Koopas Are Coming! The Koopas Are Coming!" "It's those dumber plumbers, the Mario Bros.!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "It's... it's... it's horrible! It's disgusting! It's me!" - "The Trojan Koopa" "And you're gonna spend the rest of your life digging for it! Hahahahaha!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "More! I want more! More!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "Make way for the big daddio, the headman, the new king of Sock Hop Land: Koopa, the Kool!" "Elvin Lives" "Come back here! We got a date for the prom!" "Elvin Lives" "No way, José! They'll never catch the Koopilac! I got dual carbs! I got four on the floor!" "Elvin Lives" "When you hurt Koopa's nose, you've blown it!" - "Plummers Academy" "In just a few minutes, the bidding for Princess Toadstool and her slimy friend Toad will begin! So drink up your Koopa Kola!" - "Karate Koopa" "Welcome aboard Air Albatoss. This is your Koopa speaking. This flight is non-stop 'til ya drop!" - "Mario of the Apes" "We're gonna celebrate the capture of those faucet freaks by letting me win a baseball game." - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "Now is plumber squashing time!" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "OW! I hate plumbers! OW! I hate... OW! Why can't they pick on... OW! Someone their own size?" - "Princess, I Shrunk the Mario Brothers" "It makes me feel so warm, to be so cold!" - "Little Red Riding Princess" "I want that ranger in danger! Now!" - "The Provolone Ranger" "Koopa Court is now in session! Bailiff Mouser, read those phony charges you and I cooked up!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "Congratulations! You've won a five-hundred year all-expense paid trip to Club Koopatraz!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "It was so much fun being your crooked judge, I decided to become your cruel warden!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "This better be a bad dream, plumber, 'cause if it's not, you're in deep fettuccine!" - "Escape from Koopatraz" "What the Koop are you talkin' about?" "Mario of the Deep" "You mean this is all?! There ain't enough gold here to bother Kooping about!" - "Mario of the Deep" "You Mario Bros. ruined my evil schemes, so I'm gonna ruin the burg that you love best!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Hold your applause! I know it's a genius idea, but I have them all the time!" - "Flatbush Koopa" "Fan-kooping-tastic, it worked!" - "Raiders of the Lost Mushroom" "I love Down Under Land! It's where Mario Bros. went down- and under!" - "Crocodile Mario" "Go to Warp 10, Mouser!" "Star Koopa" "If you want something wrong done right, you gotta wrong-do it yourself!" - "Star Koopa" "I am the mighty Robo Koopa! Half Koopa, half machine. Built for destruction! And I'm gonna destroy you miserable little meddlers! (fiddles on his control panel) Drat! Where is that 'destroy-you-miserable-little-meddlers' button!" - "Robo Koopa" "The fun's not over yet! I've got Super-vision; Super-hearing; Super-strength; And yes, even... Super-toes!" - "Robo Koopa". "If it isn't... Robo-Rooter!" - "Robo Koopa".Toad"Hey! Let me go!" -'"The Bird! The Bird!" "I'm warning you, I get airsick. Heeeelp!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "What're ya trying' to do, ya wacko bird, drown me?" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Mommy? You're not my mommy!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "I can't be your little Cheepy, lady! I don't have wings! Look! No wings, no feathers. I'm just a mushroom that can't stand heights!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Flyin' lessons!? Are you outta your mind!?" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "The least that featherbrain could've done was lend me a parachute. Hey! That's it! A parachute!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Hey! It's me! I mean, him! It's little Cheepy! The Birdo's real lost baby!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "Oh no! I'm not going back up there! Never!" -"The Bird! The Bird!" "When I get my hands on that King Koopa, I'll fix his wagon!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "I'm no frog. I can't even swim." - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "Bombs awaaaaaaaaaaaayyy!!" - "Butch Mario & the Luigi Kid" "What did you tell him?" - "Mario's Magic Carpet" "Who did you expect? Pee-wee Herman?" - "Rolling Down the River" "Looks like you guys saved the day again! Almost." - "Rolling Down the River" "By the power of the shining star, I am the...Toad Warrior!"-Toad Warriors "Hey, man, I’m the Fantastic Fungus! The supercharged Mushroom of Might! I’m the Toad Warrior!" - "Toad Warriors" "Give me five. NO! Give me five bomb plants!" - "Toad Warriors" "Whoever slows down first, loses!" - "Toad Warriors" "Whoa! No more Toad Warrior!" (After turning back to normal) - "Toad Warriors" "Y'all made it!" - "Toad Warriors" "You blew that one, Koopa Stoopa!" - "Pirates of Koopa" "Some Mushroom Retainer I turned out to be... I was so close! I couldn't save her..." - "The Trojan Koopa" "Naughty turtle, you've been hittin' the sauce again, well, have some more!" - "Count Koopula" "Let's make like eggs and SCRAMBLE!!!" - "Mario of the Deep" "So much for hope." - "Stars in Their Eyes" "Don't do it, Princess! Don't marry Koopa! I'd rather be a rock!" - "Do You Princess Toadstool Take This Koopa...?" "Koopa you stoopa! Watch it with the Bob-Ombs!" - "The Great Gold Coin Rush" "By order of his most royal repulsiveness, the reptile Sheriff of Koopingham! The castle road shall require a toll! In the amount of: One wagon full of gold coins!" - "Hooded Robin and His Mario Men"Princess Toadstool" “Milled uranium ore—U3O8 or "yellowcake"—is dissolved in nitric acid, yielding a solution of uranyl nitrate UO2(NO3)2. Pure uranyl nitrate is obtained by solvent extraction, then treated with ammonia to produce ammonium diuranate ("ADU", (NH4)2U2O7). Reduction with hydrogen gives UO2, which is converted with hydrofluoric acid (HF) to uranium tetrafluoride, UF4. Oxidation with fluorine yields UF6." - "The Bird! The Bird!" "Look! The Birdo took Toad to the highest peak! Please, Mario! Toad saved my life a hundred times! We've got to save his!" - "The Bird! The Bird!" "(*Teary eyed*) Goodbye Mario, goodbye Luigi." (About to watch Mario and Luigi leave) - "Brooklyn Bound" "Mario! {Kisses him} Luigi! {Kisses him} You came back!" (After being rescued from Koopa and realizing that the brothers went back for her and Toad) - "Brooklyn Bound" "Oh, dear. I think he wants Toad for an appetizer." - "Crocodile Mario" "(*sobs*) I always cry at weddings!" - "Mario and Joliet" "What was that about pancakes and maple syrup?" - "Quest for Pizza"

[ancient-artificer]

Bounties, Booze, Etc.

A Cowboy Bebop AU. Found on FF.net and Ao3

NEW* Fic

After a devastating break-up, Spike turns to old medicines to remedy the hurt. Concerned for her good friend's overall health, Faye strikes up a deal: if she can set Spike up with a good woman within a month's time, he must give up drinking and live a healthier life, for all their sakes. Leave it to a woman to beat around the bush...

Eventual Spike x Faye. Plot-driven.

ONE - Hangovers, Milkshakes, etc.

The majority of the household wasn't too thrilled with his decision-making skills of late.

Spike's wobbly hiccuping, coming in too late and hastily leaving too early was all beginning to cause for concern; the hole-in-the-wall pub inhabitants were ready to create for him a permanent place barside, a stock brand with his name on it if they didn't soon do something about his drinking.

Jet claimed that was just how he functioned and to let him be, the old "he'll fix himself, he always does" routine. Faye had always blatantly called him emotionally constipated, for lack of better terms, but even from her opinionated viewpoint, it wasn't that simple this time around.

It wasn't that Spike couldn't let himself feel emotions.

He felt them too much, too strongly.

It had been two weeks since Julia left. No heads up and no word since. No one understood what she had been thinking or why in the least she had not decided to tell anyone her plans. The blond bombshell just up and disappeared.

And left Spike a goddamned messed, barely able to pick up the pieces in her wake.

"What a bitch," Faye spat. She stared at the lifeless form lying on the couch and crossed her arms over her voluptuous breasts.

In front of their computer searching for the next easy, potential payload, Jet hummed, his fingers stroking his beard in thought. One of his eyebrows rose as he glanced up to her. "Way to kick a man while he's down," he monotoned.

Faye turned towards him. "No, not Spike, that damn bimbo he was head over heels for."

"Yea, well, it happens."

She snorted. "Which one, falling in love with a trash can or having it dump you?"

Jet acted as if he wasn't paying attention, but his mouth twitched up in a small smirk. "Like I said."

"I guess…" Her voice trailed off.

Her gaze returned to the dingy couch with the broken man sprawled across it. It softened as she took in his expressionless, slumbering face. "It must really suck."

"Mhm." His eyes darted back and forth on the screen as he read a profile from the bounty office site.

Faye sympathized with the man. Seeing him asleep, finally buried under consciousness after hours of fighting with himself made her glad she had never fallen in love. Of course, there was the like button, the pesky infatuation that came and went as quickly as the vast amounts of alcohol Spike had no doubt thrown back, and that was only a surface level sentiment.

What Spike tried to let go of was deeper. Scarring.

His sleeping form seemed peaceful, though she supposed it would turn one-eighty once he awoke. He had stumbled in around four-thirty that morning, sloshed beyond all hope, incoherently blabbering on. It was a wonder he had made it back to the house in one piece. Spike had easily passed out with his boots still on his feet.

She stepped to the couch and pulled the folded blanket from the recliner to spread over him. He reeked of hard booze.

"What are we gonna do with you?" She murmured to herself, giving her head a shake.

"Mm… er, do what now?"

Spike's eyes were still closed as he stirred and tried to lift his head and speak. The low, cigarette and whiskey-burned groan that escaped between his dehydrated lips sounded painful.

"You look like you were hit by a train." She was ever so blunt.

What resembled a short-lived laugh tumbled out from him, ending in a cough. He winced. "You should feel it," he mumbled.

Faye rolled her eyes and left to fetch him a bottle of water.

His liver and kidneys would be working overtime for a while until his situation leveled out, those brave, little soldiers. These days she felt more like the caretaker of a twenty-seven-year-old baby than a hard-earning, semi-successful bounty hunter.

"I think I'd rather feel the emotional ass-whooping than your kind of hangovers. It'd pass faster," she replied loudly, handing him the bottle with an added sarcastic, "Your drink, sir."

Spike winced hard as he sat up. "Not so loud, fuck…" he croaked. "Trying to kill me."

One hand took the water, the heel of the other rubbed into his forehead, seeking relief from the growing ache. The pounding behind his eyes rocked his balance and sensitivity. A queasiness hit his stomach before he brought the drink to his mouth.

He heaved into the previously placed bucket below him.

"Serves you right," Faye muttered. She walked away before she heard anything else that would haunt her later.

She had never been fond of Julia. From the moment that woman stepped foot inside their abode she could tell they were in for some bad news. Spike was only now unwinding himself from around her slender fingers.

However, Faye was fond of Spike and hoped he would learn from this rather unfortunate event and the things that spurred it. She just didn't approve of his methods. It wasn't fun to tease him when he was hurting himself. If he would let her help.

"Just give it a few more hours. His wallowing's almost over," Jet announced. He stood up from the desk and stretched, his thick arms reached above his head.

Reaching into his pocket, he tossed Faye a pack of smokes as she strolled by. "Give one to pathetic over there and then suit up. We've got a job."

"Uhh, okay, but isn't he a little useless right now?"

From the couch beside her, Spike gave a rough groan and then snarled, "Cowboy up or sit in the fuckin' truck."

Jet only smiled.

"You can't possibly know how this feels," Spike monotoned, briefly closing his eyes. He plodded after the others down the sidewalk towards the pub, which happened to be the location of their next hit.

It was a first. Strolling that day into the same bar he'd gotten plastered in the night before, still hungover as hell. The dark circles under his eyes had deepened in their shade of bluish-purple on the way over.

"Psht, yea, you're right, I can't. 'Cause I'm not a drunk loser," Faye replied in kind. She threw a glance his way.

"You're both getting on my nerves. Focus," Jet grumbled under his breath. "Faye, you walk in first. Spike and I will be in after you've had a look around."

They gave it a good thirty seconds.

Nausea hit Spike as soon as he smelled the alcohol.

The drink hall harbored few patrons in the early evening. It would later fill up to near capacity as the hours wore on. Smoke and other various and unique scents floated through the stale air. The place could have used a strong breeze.

As if not affiliated with the other two, Spike beelined it for the bartop and sank onto one of the many stools. His head hit the cool, shellacked wooden surface and he went limp. All but useless.

Mentally patting herself and feeling the weight of gunmetal beneath the ridiculous outfit, Faye easily slipped into a facade. The perfect trap laid before a hungry smuggler.

Remember he'll be armed, Jet's voice said to her through the earpiece connecting the three bounty hunters. Name's Merle. His crew smuggles drugs and other goods into the country through the underground. Not unlike them to enjoy the spoils.

He adjusted his sunglasses to sit further up on his nose and peered at their target as he sat down two stools from Spike's seemingly knocked out form. He raised his hand at the only bartender, who stood directly in front of him, looking oddly at him as he wiped down the bartop.

"Uh, what can I do for ya, sir?"

Jet nodded. "Iced tea, please."

"Is that all?"

Spike let loose a series of quiet snores. A drop of drool slid from the corner of his mouth.

"And a protein shake. If you've got them," Jet said.

The bartender shook his head. He dropped the wet rag into a sani-bucket. "Don't got those. But there's ingredients for a milkshake?"

Jet glanced at Spike, then nodded to the employee.

Faye said nothing as she roamed about the great hall, her gaze hitting everything that could be used as a weapon if the need arose, all of the exits should they have underestimated their target.

If Merle was easy to catch, he would already be in police custody. The profile stated he'd been on the run for four years, successfully evading cuffs and a comfy cell. Within that time, due to the extremely toxic purity of the illegal synthetic drugs he often smuggled and sold, many innocent lives were needlessly lost. The bounty on his head paid a hefty price, dead or alive.

But preferably alive to watch his freedom turn to cash.

Large, green eyes gave a sultry flash at the giant of a man sitting in the corner intent on the brown bottle in between his fingers.

His expression never faltered. His grip on the bottle loosened a bit when Faye swayed near and laid a hand on the only other chair present at his table. She made a point to throw her shoulders back and jut out her ample breasts barely covered in the low cut of her dress.

"May I join you?" She purred.

He stared at her. First at the twin fun sacks staring back at eye level, then up at her expectant, smiling expression. "I'm meeting someone," he simply stated, his voice gruff.

She gently pressed. "I could be that someone… if you have time," she said, the words rolling off her tongue like a satin sheet.

"Time for you to fuck off," he said, shifting in the chair.

Faye grinned.

He played hard.

She opened her mouth to respond in the same smartass, sarcastic tone when the establishment's glass door swung open once again. Her eyes darted to it.

In strode three buff, ruffian-looking men, one right after the other. The didn't try to hide their full sidearm holsters conspicuously hanging from their clothing or the fact they all knew the dark man in the back. They sneered when they saw Faye.

"Looks like Boss has a customer, heheh," one of them chuckled. With one arm in a fluid motion, he snagged a chair from another nearby table and unceremoniously sank onto it.

The second did the same, but with the chair Faye had her hand on. "A lady friend," he commented.

The remaining man still standing peered closely at her, leaning down so he could breathe on her cheek as he inspected her.

Straightening her back, Faye loosened the hold she subconsciously had on her features. She tried not to tense. She had to act like a whore, not be one. All she had to focus on was getting them happy and cooperative, Jet -and hopefully Spike- would do the rest, with her lending a helping hand should the need arise. The moment they caught wind of her unwillingness to indulge in their scumbag needs and desires, she would be outed as a cop or worse -what she really was- and the bounty-op would be eighty-sixed.

Jet's voice was low and steady in the earpiece. "Hm. This might've turned into a four man warrant..."

The man with his face next to hers smelled like tobacco and grease. A throaty hum of approval thrummed in his chest. He turned to the man who had first occupied the table. "This yours?"

Merle took a swig of his drink. He said nothing, only his dark eyes moved to inspect Faye once again, sizing her up, himself unsure of the answer.

She shifted her weight, making sure her breasts jiggled a bit to keep their attention. Her fingers pushed some of her violet hair behind her ears, her gaze quickly shifting from all four with a mysterious grin sliding up on her red lips. "Well. How about I buy rounds for you. And you can buy for me… and then we see where we stand?"

The three disgusting bastards were instantly hooked, line and all, at her innuendo. They automatically turned to each other and then to Merle, who had yet to give the okay for the extra person to accompany them for the evening.

Jet kept his head down, seemingly staring at the bartop under the dark of his glasses and intently listened in on her conversation. He breathed from his seat in surprise at Faye's words. "Geezus, you don't have to go all out," he said quietly.

At the same moment, the bartender gave him a quizzical gaze, one eyebrow raised as he set the glass full of iced tea down in front of him. "Um. Uh, w-would you also like ah, a lemon wedge? Or two?" He stuttered in his confusion.

A choked sound akin to holding back a burst of laughter came from Spike. He wheezed, his lips turning up at the corners before going back to his expressionless, slumber-like state.

The bartender reappeared with a handful of lemon slices and a milkshake in the tallest glass he could find. He set the tiny fruit bowl and the shake next to Jet.

Jet slid the drink to Spike.

"Finally…" Spike uttered. He unfurled his limbs from his lap and inched the straw to his mouth and sucked down a large mouthful. He frowned. "Hmm, it's missing something… what's it missing?"

"Sour wedge?" Jet sarcastically offered. He dropped a small piece of lemon into his tea without looking at him.

Merle straightened his back at Faye's suggestion.

"You're pretty. Too pretty for a dump like this shithole," the bossman grunted. His eyes bore a hole through her dark red dress. He spat, "How do I know you're not a cop?"

Faye blinked. "I'm not," she replied as a confused question.

She didn't look like one, that was for sure. But they couldn't be too careful these days. Highly sought after criminals could not let their guards down, especially around a woman, no matter how pretty. They were sly. They were just as capable of manipulation as men.

Merle snapped his fingers and pointed. "Vic. Search her."

"Heh. With pleasure."

Faye swallowed.

Through the earpiece, Jet heard the demand. She had a Glock and a pair of cuffs strapped to the inside of her leg. If they found those, she was as good as dead where she stood.

"Ahh. I see." Spike hailed the bartender. With a raspy voice and a fake smile, he asked, "Do you have any eggs?"

"Eggs?"

"Yea. Eggs. You know. Chickens shit them out. Can I have one?"

The perpetually perplexed employee headed for the back with his strange request, oblivious to the growing tension in the place.

"What are you doing, Faye needs us. Now," Jet said. He was already turning in the stool to free the handgun at his side.

"Relax. Everything's fine." The hungover bounty hunter lazily sipped at the whipped cream on top of the milkshake, seemingly uninterested in the fate of his female friend. Or any of their fates, for that matter.

The employee came back and handed him a white egg.

Jet slid from his stool and took a long step in the smugglers' direction, in his hand a grey and silver Walther P99.

Faye backed away from the table as two of them approached her. A quick glance to the bar area at Jet and she reached down under the hem of the dress. One hand made a fist, the other gripped the black, fully loaded Glock.

She landed a swift uppercut into the soft underside of the ruffian's jaw and pistol-whipped the back of his head with the butt of her gun. He landed on the ground a shove. She shook her hand in the air and cringed.

Jet fired the Walther at the other man standing between Faye and the table, the explosion of contained gunpowder slicing through the previous quiet. As soon as the man fell to the floor with a shout, he shifted his aim toward the two still seated.

Distance offense strategy was now useless; Merle and his thug friend were already up and closing the space that separated them.

Merle rushed Jet. He knocked into him before he could bring his pistol around to aim. The Walther flew from his hand and a fist connected into the side of his face.

Throwing a glance towards Jet, Faye knew she wasn't equipped to fight like him or Spike. She wasn't trained in hand to hand, but in the close quarters of the small pub, the Glock was still her only defense. She didn't want to flat out kill them, they wouldn't get their money if the smugglers were dead.

"Spike! You idiot!" She called in frustration.

Hunched over his drink, Spike concentrated on cracking the missing ingredient into his shake. He was terrible at cooking anything, having relied heavily on Jet for sustenance for most of his adult life. He winced from the gunshot, which only added to the ache behind his tired eyes. Behind him, all hell broke loose, the sounds of struggles and gunfire ringing in the stale air.

Jet blocked another fist aimed for his gut and connected his own to Merle's temple in return. The smuggler stumbled backward. Jet shoved him hard in the chest and the muscled man toppled over the table and his unfinished beer.

"Faye!" Jet shouted in warning.

The woman turned at his voice, seeing one of the thugs ball his fist and advance to pummel her. She ducked and threw her shoulder into his gut, using the Glock's barrel to assist her in tagging him in the process.

He was out of the fight, down for the count, dry heaving with his hands on his junk.

The man she had earlier pistol-whipped rose and ran at her, the bloodlust apparent in his angry eyes. She promptly ducked again and stuck out her leg, which he ran right into. He was sent stumbling into the bar and smacked right into Spike.

The still unbroken egg slipped out of his hand to bust on the floor.

"The fuck," Spike barked. Anger boiled inside his chest.

The pub's door flung open and four more similarly dressed men ran in, all familiar with Merle and the two men sprawled on the floor. They looked around at the fray, briefly orienting themselves with the situation. It took only seconds, but Jet and Faye knew they couldn't hold off the newcomers.

"My egg! I needed that," Spike seethed. "Everything's so not fine!"

He jumped and shoved the stool away from the counter, standing up and tugging out his Jericho 941 from its holster. He snarled, racking the pistol and without aiming, started firing off round after round directly at the smugglers who had just entered the building.

They scattered to hide behind anything they could find, knocking tables on their sides to use as makeshift shields as he channeled his frustrations into the gunmetal.

Spike turned to the downed man who had run into him. He smashed the man's bloody face into the egg mess with his boot. "That's for ruining my milkshake," he hissed.

Behind him, Jet's left fist smacked into Merle's jaw, his torso bending in half at the waist with the momentous effort. He breathed out, struggling to catch his breath with the strain.

The drug smuggler bounded into the back wall. His head shot side to side, looking for a way out while Jet was preoccupied with the small group of his followers that had come in to join them.

When his attention returned to their main target, Merle was nowhere to be seen. Their intended target escaped.

Faye dove for Jet's discarded pistol as the newcomers began to retaliate. She threw herself back on the floor. With her own gun, she covered them with gunfire until she could return Jet's firearm to him. Her dress hitched up her legs, the thigh holsters now in full view. Vibrant green panties peeked out from the inside at the apex of her legs.

Spike barreled out of the way of blazing bullets zooming past. "Shit!"

Lying on the ground next to Faye, he ejected the empty magazine and inserted a fresh one into his black pistol. From his position, he spied the material. "Really. Lime green, huh," he stated casually. A smirk showed up on his mouth.

Faye pursed her lips and cow kicked him in the chest. "Stop looking, pervert."

"We gotta get, fast," Jet grunted. He caught the pistol Faye tossed up to him.

"What about the bounty-" Faye started, the surprise coating her voice.

The big man shook his head. "It's no good. Let's go before we're shot all to hell!"

With Jet laying down cover fire, Spike hauled Faye to her feet, then angled his body to pop off a few rounds at their opposition. He snatched up the milkshake on his way and followed the other two out the back exit and into the alley.

Outside next to the dumpsters, Faye watched for any signs of their fleeing quarry while Jet fetched the car parked on the other side of the alley. She turned at the door opening, relaxing when she saw Spike. He made a face as he sucked up the shake.

"You went back for that?"

He swallowed. "It's not as good without some egg in it. No tip for him."

Faye tried to hide the smile he unknowingly put on her face. Though the man liked to mess around, making light of certain situations, never mind how dire they may be, he made her heart a little lighter. Every day. His presence settled her. His lack of emotional awareness, however, would get him into serious trouble someday.

Jet drove the car up to them, skidding to a halt.

Pulling at Spike's shirt, Faye dragged him to the car, pushing him through the now open door. She shoved him further to climb in herself.

The junk car didn't look like much, though it got them from point A to B with no hesitation. The engine's rumble turned into a roar as Jet sped away. "Watch for that slimebag," Jet said.

They entered the main, busy streets, blending in with the locals. People walked along from one area to another. Other vehicles on the streets passed by in a rush. There were so many, Faye couldn't distinguish after a certain distance. "I don't know, Jet. I don't see him. Sorry."

"Hmm. Well. This blows. Not what I expected." Jet made a sound with his mouth and flicked the air freshener hanging under the rectangle mirror.

Faye nodded. "We'll try again. Another day, sometime."

"Sometime," Jet repeated. He looked at her in the mirror. "You mean another year. That guy's evaded the cops and bounty hunters alike for half a decade. He's not stupid."

There was an empty, sipping sound.

They both turned to Spike, who had finished his mediocre milkshake. He seemed to be doing a little better than earlier in the day. His eyes were a little brighter, almost back to normal.

From the other side of the backseat, Spike peered at Faye from his position, his head resting on the armrest. He took in her ragged appearance after their small bar fight.

Bounty work did a number on her.

He licked the whipped cream off the straw and said, "Yea. Next time it'll be a thousand times harder 'cause he knows who we are."

#cowboy bebop #cowboy bebop fic #spike spiegel #spike x faye #AU #bounty hunters #ff.net #ao3 #CapAleran2 #andyswrite #im terrible at tagging things

[babybluebex]

The Beast

here’s josh! i love until dawn and i love poor little josh, so here’s this! (lol remember in eighth grade when i’d post a chapter every day??? can you say unneeded stress??) ((also this has mentions of s*lf h*rm and s*icide so sorry about that)) (((was gonna post this tomorrow but i’m posting it today whoops)))

“You can go as slow as you need to, Leila. Nobody’s rushing you at all.”

I sighed deeply and hung my head into my hands. It had been a year; I thought it would get easier. Grief never seems to get easier. I saw that for myself with my father after my mother’s death, my husband after his sisters’ deaths, and now me with my husband. It hurt. Waking up with an empty bed, only making one cup of tea, not being surrounded by his heavy music from the moment I woke up. It was the smallest things that I missed about Josh. He used to have a habit of loading the dishwasher wrong (the plates face the side of the machine and not the front, who raised this man?), but my heart hurt every time I thought about how I would fix it and get fake-mad at Josh. He would kiss me and call me a bitch for being so anal-retentive about dishes, but I knew that he meant no ill will at all. 

“Start with the facts,” Dr. Hill told me. “Things that have proven to be true.”

I took a deep breath. “Umm…” I began. “My name’s Leila Washington. Last year, my husband Josh and I went up to his family’s cabin on Mount Washington for Christmas. Last year was one year since his sisters disappeared. I…” My arms secured snugly around my body to keep the tears in, and a whine burst forward from my throat. “There was a noise outside. A hurt animal or something. Josh was always such a… A good guy. He loved animals, and he wanted to go help it. He left the cabin, and… He was gone.”

“Gone?” Dr. Hill repeated. 

I sobbed into my sweater sleeves. “He didn’t come back,” I mumbled. “I-I called the police and they came up the mountain and… Th-They found blood. They couldn’t prove whether it was Josh’s or not, but they said it was human.”

“What do you think happened?” Dr. Hill asked. He was a nice man, older with a dusting of fine hair on his head, and he had never given me a reason to be uneasy at all, but his watery blue eyes gave me pause. I felt like they were staring directly into my mind, seeing my thoughts and sorting them out before I could say them. 

“I refuse to believe that someone hurt him,” I said swiftly. “He-He got hurt helping the animal and got lost getting back, it was really snowing hard that night. I know realistically that he’s dead, but I don’t want to think about if he was in pain or not. I… It’s easier for me to think that it was sudden and that he had no idea what happened.”

“And that’s a fate better than being able to come to terms with his death?” Dr. Hill offered. 

“I hope he didn’t suffer,” I mumbled. “That’s my biggest fear: he got hurt and was alone when he died. He had to have been scared. In pain. God, I… Jesus Christ.”

“What was your biggest fear when you and Josh got married?” Dr. Hill asked. “Losing him?”

I nodded. 

Dr. Hill nodded as well, and he said, “I know that you’ll fight me on this, Leila. You’re a fighter and that’s what makes me think that you can do this. I want you to go to the cabin within the next week and stay one night. Only one night. It’s called exposure therapy; only once you confront your troubles can you begin to understand and resolve them.”

My breath caught in my chest. “No,” I mumbled. “I-I can’t. I can’t go back to where my husband died. That’s crazy to even suggest that! I- No!”

“Leila, there is a brick wall between where we are now in your recovery and where we need to be,” Dr. Hill told me gently. “Going to the place where the trauma occurred will help tear down that wall, or at least chip a hole into it. We need an opening, Leila, and this how we get it.”

I chewed my bottom lip hard enough to bring blood to stain my teeth. “One night?”

Dr. Hill nodded. 

“Can I bring someone with me?” 

“If you wish to.” 

I sighed. I was crazy for agreeing to this. I was wishing bad things onto myself. I had lost it. “I’ll do it.”

***

“Jesus Christ, another documentary?”

“Yes, Josh,” I grinned. “And you’re gonna watch it with me.”

“What makes you say that?” Josh asked me. He was a good looking man, shaggy black hair and bright blue eyes with olive-toned skin, and a smile played at his lips as he teased me. Ever since we had known each other, we always liked poking fun at each other; it was just who we were. None of it was ever meant in malice, but our friends still thought we were crazy for teasing each other so often. 

“Because you love me and you’ll do anything for me,” I told him and batted my eyelashes. 

Josh clicked his tongue. “Got me there, Lei,” he said, and he leaned back on the couch and wrapped his arm around my shoulders. “What’re we watching?”

“Nature doc,” I said. “David Attenborough-type stuff.”

Josh lifted his chin as he hummed in understanding. “I’ll be right back,” he said and swiftly got up from the couch, earning him one of my lengthy groans.

“Josh,” I moaned. 

“Just getting a drink!” Josh chuckled. “Chill out, boo.”

I started the movie without him, since he wanted to test my patience in the best way that he could, and I said, “Hey, fun fact! Did you know that the human body has literally millions of nerve endings?”

I heard the ice dispense dump out a few cubes into a cup, and then my husband said, “Did David Atta-Lama-Ding-Dong teach you that?”

“Okay, anyway, the human body has millions of nerve endings,” I continued, unfazed by Josh’s heckling. “Some are really small and really hard to find. So, it surprises and amazes me that you manage to find and subsequently get on every single last one of my nerves.”

“Ooh, zing!” Josh chuckled as he sat back down next to me. “How long did it take you to come up with that?”

“I’ve had that puppy in the vault for a long time,” I said. “Just to fuck with you.” 

“Clever girl,” Josh smiled. He took a drink from his cup, then furrowed his eyebrows. “Did you hear that?” 

“Hear what?” I asked. 

Josh stood up quickly, shifting me away from his warm chest. “Hear what, Josh?” I asked again. 

“I’ll be right back,” he said. He began to pull on his winter coat and hat, and I stood up and grabbed his arm. 

“Are you okay?” I asked. “It’s practically a blizzard out there.” 

“I’ll be right back,” Josh told me and kissed me softly. He had a bit of facial hair growing and it scratched my cheeks, and I watched in silent awe as my husband left the house, slamming the door with a curl of snow sneaking in. 

The night passed. After about ten minutes, I began to worry, but I trusted Josh. He was a bit of a bonehead at times, but he knew his limits. By the time an hour had passed, I was shaking and sick to my stomach. There was a niggling thought that Josh had been hurt, but I pushed that down. Josh was smart. He wouldn’t do anything to get himself hurt. The sun began to show through the clouds, and that’s when I decided to call the police. Guilt always punched in my stomach when I thought about how I could have called earlier and the police would have had a better chance of finding him, but I had been told that what happened obviously occurred for a reason. Wyrd, they called it. Fate. I had an ounce of hope while the police were examining the grounds around the cabin, and everything flooded out of me when they carefully escorted me to a small swell of snow and pointed out frozen clumps of bloody snow. 

I screamed. I cried. I vomited and shook and shut down completely. That was my husband’s blood. Everyone told me that it might not be his, but I knew. People called me crazy for being so steadfast, but I knew that it was Josh’s. I was never sure about what made me so confident that my version of events was true, but I called it a wife’s intuition. 

People gently suggested to me that maybe Josh had done this to himself. He had a history of mental health and self harm, and I knew that, and they always offered that the one year anniversary of his sisters’ deaths was maybe too much for him to handle. In fact, that seemed so likely that the police officially closed the case with the theory that Josh had purposefully gone out into the weather to commit suicide. I knew that that was probably what had happened, but I harbored hope, solely based on the fact that I even had the wherewithal to try to differ. I didn’t believe in God— neither did Josh— but I know that She wouldn’t have put the idea in my head if it wasn’t for an inkling of truth. 

The aftermath of the night was cruel. There was a funeral, complete with yellow freesias, Josh’s favorite, and people who kept telling me how sorry they were. Eventually, the faces blended together and I couldn’t tell friends apart from family. Sam was a constant for me and I was so thankful for her, but I became sick at the sight of her. My anxiety had always manifested myself in my stomach. Whenever I was scared or nervous, I always became sick. 

The quiet moments were the hardest. The ones where I knew Josh would be talking about something and filling the silence, but there was nothing. I cried into his pillow late at night and tried to remember our last night together. It was our first night at the cabin, and he had gently patted my hair and sang to me to help me fall asleep. I had never felt more in love than I did then, and I held onto the memory and pressed it deep into my chest. I would never let it go. 

#rami #rami malek #josh #until dawn #josh washington #gaming #fanfiction #fanfic #mine #masterlist #tw//self harm #tw//suicide

[kaesaaurelia]

More stuff from my fic about Aziraphale and Crowley in Prohibition-era Chicago!

(Btw, this fic will be called Hustler’s Blood.  I’m not planning to post it as a WIP because I’m hoping it will only be five or six chapters.  Title from Nelson Algren, because Nelson Algren.)

In a few minutes the car arrived, and in a few more minutes they were at the restaurant, which smelled of cinnamon and bacon and diner coffee.

Crowley looked slyly over his menu after they were seated.  "I hear their specialty is apple pancakes."

Aziraphale swatted him over the head with his own menu.  "Stop that, you fiend!"

Crowley flashed him a grin.  "Got to be better than the Dutch baby.  Bet it's not even Dutch."

"Or a baby," said Aziraphale.  "We should complain.  Tea please?" he asked the waitress who was hovering nearby.  "Milk, two sugars."

"Black coffee," said Crowley.

When she was gone, Aziraphale said, "You were going to tell me about Mr. Capone, I believe?"

"Ah.  Yeah," said Crowley.  "He's.  Well.  Let's just say he's been a boon to every memo I send Downstairs."

"Ah.  Not a nice fellow, then," said Aziraphale, flipping over his page to contemplate the sandwiches.  "Hang on, this is going to be a difficult decision."  The waitress came back with their drinks; Aziraphale hemmed and hawed over his order and finally narrowed it down to three things.  Crowley ordered the apple pancake, and Aziraphale resolved not to touch it no matter how good it smelled.

Once they'd ordered and handed over their menus, Crowley spilled a little of his water out onto the tabletop.

Aziraphale grabbed his napkin and pulled it out of the way just in time to avoid getting it soaked.  "What are you --"

"I'm drawing you a map, angel, relax," said Crowley, and, indeed, the puddle of water did not spread very far, in defiance of all tradition; it stayed in a long, narrow line along the right side of the table.  He took out a tin of breath mints and plonked one down by the edge of the water, near the top of the 'map.'  "We're here right now."  He looked speculatively at the condiments before grabbing the salt and pepper.  "This," he said, showing Aziraphale the salt, "is Hymie Weiss and the North Side Gang."  He put them slightly more towards the center of the map.

"What an imaginative name," said Aziraphale.

"And this," he said, showing Aziraphale the pepper shaker, "is Al Capone and his Outfit."  He put it down well to the south.

"That's all well and good, Crowley, but where are they going to put your apple pancake when it comes?"

"Over there in Naperville, probably," said Crowley, with a vague gesture to Aziraphale's left.  "Plenty of room there, nothing happens in Naperville.  Anyway.  I, Crowley, work for Mr. Weiss, in a procurement capacity, obviously.  I didn't really know what I was doing when I started working for the North Siders, so I didn't think to come up with a different name.  But!"

And here he placed another mint carefully, somewhat to the north of the pepper shaker.  "I, Lilith Cambion, work for Mr. Capone, in a similar capacity.  I've got a house out there too, but the neighbors here are more fun to upset and Capone throws bigger parties than I could so I don't really bother."  Here he grinned.  "You see, my poor sainted husband died in a mysterious boating accident, leaving only his gobs and gobs of cash to comfort me, but the authorities think I killed him.  So I escaped to the States to avoid all that unpleasantness."

Aziraphale should have been telling Crowley off for his ridiculous plan, for all this dastardly deception, and for making a mess of the table.  But he couldn't help it; this was exactly the sort of harebrained nonsense Crowley loved most, and it probably wasn't even hurting anyone much, so Aziraphale didn't feel guilty about not thwarting it.  "I'm glad you're enjoying yourself, dear."

"I'm not done!' said Crowley.

"Of course not," said Aziraphale.  "Please, go on."

"So this," said Crowley, reaching for the sugar, "is --"

"Uh.  'Scuse me?"  They both turned to look at the waitress, who was precariously balancing Crowley's apple pancake, and Aziraphale's omelette, corned beef hash, mushroom sauce, and side of extra-crispy bacon.  "Sorry to interrupt... whatever this is, but where'dja want me to put all this?" she asked.

"Naperville," said Crowley, pointing once more at the empty space to Aziraphale's left.

"Uh.  Sure," said the waitress.  "You had the, uh --"

"Apple pancake here, everything else is his," said Crowley.

She put the dishes down carefully, managing to avoid damaging the map.  "And I'll get you a fresh napkin to clean up the --"

"No, that's the lake!" said Crowley.

She paused to look at the map, then studied it with the expression of someone who thinks the street preacher is probably wrong about the End Times but is more interested in correcting him on a small detail about the life and wine preferences of Christ.  (Not that Aziraphale had ever done such a thing.)  Finally, she said, "You got the lake coming out too far west, I think, but I'm impressed you got Montrose Harbor on there.  How'dja get it to curve like that?"

Crowley shrugged.

"I'm expecting a helluva tip," she told them.  "Enjoy your meal."  And she left them in peace.

"Right," said Crowley, seizing the sugar bowl, "so this is City Hall."  He plonked it down on the map, dividing salt from South. "Now, I, Felix, used to --"

"Felix hasn't got a last name?" Aziraphale asked. He examined his omelet, which smelled amazing, and took a little taste of the mushroom sauce. Delightful.

"Nobody asked," Crowley said, while Aziraphale dumped sauce on his omelet. "To be honest I think they assumed it was fake when I gave it to them."

"Convenient for you, then," said Aziraphale, sampling the omelet. The egg was nicely fluffy, the mushroom sauce was extraordinarily creamy, and the overall effect was delicious. "This is wonderful, Crowley, would you like to try some?"

Crowley looked across the table at the apple pancake, exiled, as it was, to Naperville, whatever that was. It was bigger than his head and smelled of cinnamon and future dental cavities. "Think I'm good for now," he said. "You can have some if you like." He turned back to his impromptu map. "So, as Felix I used to work for the old mayor. But he ran off to the South Seas to look for a climbing fish."

"A climbing fish?" Aziraphale asked.

"Yeah, I don't think it's a thing. Not sure what that was about, really. Anyway, Big Bill left us all in the hands of this appallingly incompetent wet blanket Dever who likes things to be --" here he used his fingers to put quotes around his speech "-- 'above board,' or something, so I don't work for him. Hinky Dink and Bathhouse John are still in the game though, so I do odd jobs. Mostly encouraging people to vote."

"Hinky Dink," repeated Aziraphale, distastefully.

"Yeah, and you're called Aziraphale, what's your point?" Crowley asked.

"My name was given to me by the Almighty, and cannot, therefore, sound absolutely ridiculous," said Aziraphale. "Anyway, is it so demonic to encourage voting?"

"It is when the voters have been dead for years," said Crowley.

"Ah. And they don't... question...?" He was glad Crowley was having such a good time, but really, using resurrection to gain political advantage really was fiendish, in an actively distasteful way, and he thought he'd better at least register his objection.

"Oh, they don't check," said Crowley. "Really, they're just like my lot. Long as it gets done they're pleased. They pay a lot better, too."

"Seems a little gauche if you ask me," said Aziraphale.

Crowley shrugged. "Well, good thing I haven't asked you. Less fuss than doing the paperwork to make it say they voted, at least for me."

"Ah, well. As long as you put them back when you're finished with them, I suppose," said Aziraphale. He had another bite of omelet.

"'Put them back when you're finished!'" said Crowley, doing a very bad imitation of Aziraphale. "Well of course I do, what else am I gonna do with them?" he snapped. "They'd ruin my parties." He reached for the tabasco sauce, and put it just west of the sugar.

"You're going to run out of condiments soon," Aziraphale said.

"Nah, we've still got ketchup," said Crowley. "Anyway, this is Jane Addams."

"And what band of cutthroats does she run?" Aziraphale asked.

"The most dangerous ones, at least to me.  They're social reformers.  Do-gooders."  Crowley made a face.  "I've been working on this woman for years now and I think the only dent I ever made is that she contemplated lying once and then wasn't good enough at it to follow through.  It's maddening."

"Poor Crowley," said Aziraphale.  "Still, it sounds like you're making a little progress!  If you keep trying maybe you can budge her a little more?"

Crowley gave him a wide grin.  "Thank you for trying, Aziraphale, but I really think she's got me beat. She's already in her sixties, and her health's never been good, so I think she'll be gone before I can get her soul.  But I haven't quite given up yet.  Besides, hanging around there is fun, really."

"And I suppose you're somebody called Merit when you're hanging around tempting her?" Aziraphale prompted, mopping up the rest of his mushroom sauce with the last of his omelet

"Yes!  Merit O'Malley!" said Crowley.

Aziraphale paused, omelet halfway to his mouth.  "Please tell me there's not a bad Irish accent involved, Crowley.  Please?"

"Well, there was but both sets of O'Donnells sussed me out," said Crowley, "and then I had to wipe their memories and stop being a safecracker in a hurry.  Which was fine, really, being a safecracker is dead boring actually, unless you do it by miracles.  Anyway, I decided to try and corrupt all the nicey-nice reform types.  But most of them are very... churchy, and it's difficult to get at them."

Aziraphale smiled to himself.  "Quite."

"Also most of them are full-up on Pride and Greed and Envy already," said Crowley.  Aziraphale stopped smiling.  "Not really as fun if you're going to corrupt someone who's already almost there, you know?  So I found Jane Addams and I started volunteering at her... thing, and I thought, aha, I'll work my way into her confidences and find out what her weaknesses are."

"What are they?" Aziraphale asked.

Crowley shrugged.  "I mean she second-guesses herself quite a lot.  But that's no good, it means I can't get her for Pride.  Greed, Gluttony, and Envy don't really seem like her thing.  And Sloth is right out, her schedule would drive anyone to madness.  Except her, apparently."

"Wrath?" Aziraphale suggested.

Crowley shook his head.  "I mean, she's quite angry a lot, but..."  He gestured at his map.  "I think that's fair.  And she's a total pacifist, she'd never hurt anyone."

Aziraphale couldn't help notice Crowley'd been leaving one out.  "Is she married?  Maybe Lust--"

"She's got a wife, sort of.  Very much in love.  I couldn't do anything there," said Crowley.

"Oh!" said Aziraphale.  "Are the humans letting themselves do that sort of thing now?  I hadn't realized."

"They're not," said Crowley, "but nobody particularly lets Jane Addams do things, she just does them."

Aziraphale started on his corned beef hash, and stared at the map.  "I know it's a bit out of fashion, my dear," he said, "but what about Acedia?"

Crowley looked appalled.  "I would never!"

"All right, sorry, I was only trying to help," said Aziraphale.

Crowley sighed.  "I know you were.  You always do."  He rubbed his eyes under his glasses.  "I was thinking of turning her over to you, actually.  I can introduce you if you like."

"Oh!  That sounds very nice, actually," said Aziraphale.

"I will warn you, she is a bit insufferable about Prohibition," said Crowley.  "Don't talk about wine around her, she'll just give you this disappointed look and you'll feel you've let her down."

Aziraphale considered this.  "Are you sure your lot won't take her?"

Crowley laughed, and waved a hand over his mess of a map, and in an instant the water and the breath mints were gone, and the condiments were back where they started.  He reached across the table and retrieved his apple pancake from its long exile, and a delicious waft of cinnamon reached Aziraphale's nose.

"Oh!  I was looking forward to seeing what the ketchup was for, though," said Aziraphale.

"I think some people like it on their eggs," said Crowley, making a face.  He took a small piece of the apple pancake.  "This is good.  Aziraphale, you've got to try --"

"No thank you," said Aziraphale, primly.

"Oh come on, it's their specialty," said Crowley.  Aziraphale tried not to watch as Crowley licked the fork off.  Licking anything like that in public could probably get you arrested in some places.  Safer to look at the pancake.  Which also looked good, definitely.  "Will you at least come with me to Al's birthday party?" Crowley asked.

"Well."  Aziraphale hesitated.  "I don't know that it's really the place for me..."

Crowley gave him a pleading look that was only slightly less effective for the dark lenses covering his eyes, and said, "It won't be half as fun without you there."

He's only tempting me.  It's false flattery.  He wants to lead me into a den of iniquity, Aziraphale thought, watching Crowley pick at the apple pancake.

"Ah, well.  I understand, angel," said Crowley.  He sounded a bit disappointed.  "I'll have to find out when Miss Addams is going to be around, though, I still think you'd like --"

"No, no, I didn't say I wouldn't go with you," said Aziraphale, quickly.  "Of course I'll go.  Somebody's got to keep you out of trouble."

"'Course.  Definitely.  You'll keep me out of trouble."  Crowley looked skeptically over his glasses, and Aziraphale could see the yellow slits of his eyes, and he was looking so fondly at Aziraphale that he didn't think he could stand it, so he swallowed and tried to pay attention to his corned beef hash.  "Your food was good, then?" he asked.

Aziraphale nodded.  "The apple pancake?"

"It's pretty good," said Crowley.  "Sure you don't want any?"

Aziraphale resisted for all of two seconds.  "Just... just let me take a look at it."

"A look?" Crowley asked.

"Just a glance.  Here, we can switch," he said, offering to exchange his small plate of corned beef hash for the enormous apple pancake.  "Just.  Just for a moment."

It was a very good apple pancake, and Aziraphale ate most of it.  He tried not to notice Crowley's soft smile as they chattered about local theater here and in London, and reminisced.

When it was time to go, Aziraphale left a hundred-dollar bill on the table for a tip, and Crowley left a scrawled note to the waitress, with a suggestion as to where and how long to invest it; then they paid their bill and went back out into the fresh, chill air of January first.

#good omens #aziraphale #anthony j crowley #ineffable husbands #chicago #kaesa op #text #fiction #hustler's blood #look I know walker brothers wasn't around yet please just work with me here #the apple pancakes #and crowley #i had to #you understand

[robobrainmurdermysterytheatre]

Do ALL the OC things!

I was tagged by @suplexranger and @marvilus73 and @commonwealthhero in a few different OC things recently and I am a creature of efficiency so I have mushed all the things together to make one OC post because that sounded fun!

I’m tagging you guys back for whatever parts you didn’t do if you want to do them (or do them again!!!) and y’all that I’m pretty sure have OCs if you haven’t done any of these @red-king-4 @humans-are-friends-not-food @infamy-and-plunder @lamorellenoire6 @tatosoup @ashleyanthrax @nukenai @lobselvith8 @purple-martin111 @theredalice @angeliquedevive @rakimaiirisa ~~ I lowkey stalk some of your OCs ngl 😏 As always no pressure on doing it and IF I MISSED ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT FOR THEIR OC @ me because I love all your brain children they are amazing. 

Of COURSE it’s about my favored child Jack Daniel 

It’s long so go under the cut 👇

(There are also more pictures😏)

OC Profile

NAME: Jack Daniel O’Kelley

NICKNAME: Jackie, Jackie O, General Jackoff

AGE: 24

SPECIES: Human

PERSONAL

MORALITY: Somewhere in the neighborhood of Neutral/Chaotic Good

RELIGION: It’s  c o m p l i c a t e d. Raised Catholic and really wants to believe there is a loving God, but believes more likely than not there isn’t. He’s super mad at organized religion, though.

SINS(greed/gluttony/sloth/lust/pride/envy/wrath): Lust, wrath, gluttony (not for food but for drugs and alcohol)

VIRTUES(chastity/charity /diligence/humility/kindness/patience/justice): Kindness, patience (for certain people and things), justice, charity

KNOWN LANGUAGES: English, Latin, Chinese

PHYSICAL

BUILD (scrawny/bony/slender/fit/athletic/curvy/herculean/pudgy/plus size/average): fit/athletic Prewar and coming out the vault, but he gets pretty scrawny because malnutrition in the wasteland is a thing

HEIGHT: 5'11

SCARS/BIRTHMARKS: His one scar from before the war he got in Anchorage by standing up and hitting his head on a suit of power armor he was repairing (very heroic battle scar, I know). During the game he gets clawed in the face by one of Kellogg’s synths during that fight, and that’s where the scars on the left side of his face come from. He later loses his right arm via grenade in the Battle for Bunker Hill which also left a new scar on the right side of his face.

ABILITIES/POWERS: Extremely mechanically and technically talented and pretty fuckin’ charismatic. Better than decent at sniping. After his quasi-religious LSD trip courtesy of the Children of Atom in Far Harbor his eyes changed color, radiation began to heal him and sometimes ferals are friendly (I legit saved my level points to max out the Ghoulish perk at that point for this like a pro RPer)

FAVORITES

FOOD: Sugar Bombs

PIZZA TOPPING: Hawaiian 

COLOR: Red

MUSIC GENRE: Rock and roll ❤ applies regardless of if we’re talking about in-universe 50′s style music or the IRL genre

MOVIE GENRE: Sci Fi! 

CURSE WORD: FUCK, also son of a bitch

SCENTS: cigars, BBQ, leather

FUN STUFF

BOTTOM OR TOP: Why not both? 🤷‍♂️ Both is good 👍

SINGS IN THE SHOWER: Yes. And on the road. And when building settlements. And while modding guns. And while doing anything, really.

LIKES PUNS: Will absolutely bug Codsworth for at least a solid hour to hear his puns and laugh like an idiot at all of them every time.

OC Phrases: Bold the phases that you connect with one of your ocs.

SIGHT. small towns. big cities. six thirty curfews. lights that take the place of stars. blanket nests. light through the blinds as a wake up call. found family. finding a single star in the middle of new york city. window shopping. watching something terrible and enjoying it. growing numb to the sight of injustice. wilted flowers. faded caricatures. bright, bold colours.

HEARING. crickets and lightning bugs. car engines and a / c units. a phone call to mum / dad. laughing with friends. jokes that are so bad you have to laugh. the clicking of computer keys. noise canceling headphones. the sound of silence. muffled music from another room. drumming fingertips on a table. the clicking of pens. listening to a clock and swearing the ticks get slower. ringing in the ears. the voice of someone you love. pitch shifted songs.

TOUCH. being held close during a long night. fleeting reassurances. holding hands when you’re scared. brushing fingers through strands of hair. freshly dried clothes. bruises on your knuckles. silk and satin. your favourite pet’s fur or feather. wringing your hands anxiously. snuggles. comforters in the dead of winter. nails against skin. cold metal. leather in summer.

TASTE. coffee in the morning. tea in the evening. bubblegum that lost its flavor. alcohol burning the back of your throat. homemade cooking, no matter what’s made. blood in your mouth. stale air. mint. fresh vegetables. that processed taste of citrus candy. the first meal you cook by yourself that tastes good. foreign sweets. fast food. bittersweet. sour. spicy. sweet. bitter. too much salt on fries.

OC and Songs

Avenged Sevenfold - Strength of the World

“Strength of the world! is on my shoulders Strength of the world! is on my side Strength of the world! the one true beholder Ice in my veins! for those who've died I've seen my family fade away, you've taken my whole life There's nothing left to say Avenge the dead. killed all who cross me in my path Suicidal, I never planned on coming back I want it, I need it, revenge is dripping from my teeth Need nothin', to feel power, and bring the killers to their knees Nothin' ta lose vengeance ta gain (you know I'll never be the same) So taste my breath I'm close behind you (so desperate on your final day) Sorrow swallows my screams Sitting in silence with heaven above me, I prayed every night by their graves While I search for closure I feel it no longer I can't turn my cheek away I stand before you; I'll sin when I have to But now I leave your side, to avenge my family's pride “

I was trying to pick a handful of songs and I couldn’t so I’m gonna dump a medium-sized not-comprehensive/exhaustive list 👇

Greenday - 21 Guns // Sia - Elastic Heart // A Perfect Circle - Imagine // Hozier - Arsonist’s Lullaby // Radiohead - Wolf at the Door // Tool - Schism // Kesha - Spaceship // Whitesnake - Here I Go Again // Bon Jovi - Blaze of Glory // David Bowie - Heroes // Roger Miller - King of the Road // Frank Sinatra - My Way

#sole survivor #this is very self indulgent

[xiggy-stardust]

I can’t please anyone.

None of my friends follow this tumblr so I’m gonna dump my tea in this harbor

“hahaha nobody follows ur dumblr, xig-” SHUT the FUCK UP, ME. I KNOW thats YOU.

okok so over winter break I went shopping for myself because I didn’t get anything for christmas. I was in hot topic (Fuck you, they have some cool shit) and they had a thing where it was “Buy one hoodie and get another for just 10 bucks” so NATURALLY I made the cashier hold my $70 Twenty One Pilots hoodie while I looked for something cheaper to pay in full so I wouldn’t have to pay 70 bucks for a hoodie. I found this really cool Kingdom Hearts jacket for just 40 bucks.

One of my friends, let’s call them Wendy, LOVES KH to DEATH. I was becoming really good friends with her since I’ve only met her this school year (so I’ve known her since about august) and we became best friends really fast. We have more inside jokes than I can count, which I think is what really makes you best friends. Wendy and I have lunch together like every day after school and we sit and talk for hours about everything or sometimes nothing at all. The point is, we’re close.

I also have another friend, let’s call them Nina. Nina and I have been friends for longer than Wendy and I have been friends, since about sophomore year (and it’s senior year now). And Nina and Wendy have been friends since elementary school. So really, I’m the one late to the party. It was very clear very early on this year that Nina was getting jealous about how close Wendy and I have been getting despite us not knowing each other for very long. This reeked of petty high school drama, and me, being the only person in school not caught up in shit, refused to be dragged into something I had no intention of being a part of.

The thing about Nina though, is that she has hella insecurity issues and I’ve already sent her novels over text trying to convince her that she’s not a piece of shit. She thinks everybody hates her and she (very clearly) baits me and Wendy into pitying her. Every time I talk to her, it’s another thing she thinks everybody’s gonna hate her for. Every time. She never takes responsibility and uses those big puppy eyes to make me say that nothing is ever her fault just so she won’t go home and blow her brains out like I have nightmares of her doing. I’ve talked to her so much about the exact same topic matter that some days when she says “whatever I’m probably just annoying you” I kinda wanna say “yeah you are.” But I know for a fact she’ll go home and probably c*t her wr*sts or something. She never makes any efforts to improve herself. She wallows in her sadness and wants everyone to feel bad for her or wallow with her.

This is where Wendy is a breath of fresh air.

me, Nina, and Wendy are all relentlessly sad for mostly the same reasons, but they both have shitty parents whereas mine are. idek. Divorced but living together like they aren’t, it’s weird. I digress. We all deal with our sadness in different ways. I deal with mine by myself in my own time and only let it out in the form of ironic memes and self deprecating humor. You gotta really dig deep to get to me and I have to trust you a lot to let u know what’s really going on. But for me, you don’t get to know unless you ask. That’s how I avoid bringing down the people around me to awkward situations. Wendy acknowledges whats wrong with her and actively talks to me or other trusted friends to fix what’s wrong. She doesn’t want people to feel bad for her, she wants to be better and she doesn’t stew in her sadness because that’s bad for literally everyone.

Nina is the total opposite. We were just in the middle of UIL rehearsals today and WHILE I was highlighting and trying to memorize my lines, Nina grills me about the jacket I got Wendy for christmas when I didn’t get her anything. Wendy actually warned me she would ask so I gave her one of my printed photos earlier this morning. She said she felt left out, so naturally I lied and said I had it from the start, which I totally didn’t, and the only reason I didn’t give it to her before is because she was literally in another state stuck in a blizzard and when she came back, she was cut from the play we were in and we had to travel to perform the day she got back. So today was the only day I’ve actually seen her. So even if I DID get her something, she wouldn’t get it till today anyway. And I STILL got her something. She still tried to guilt trip me about how she felt “left out” and how she’s “forgotten” like I haven’t talked to her about it more times than I care to think about.

The thing is, Wendy is really easy to shop for. She likes KH, Overwatch, and cute anime things, and every store I shop at has a surplus of one of those things. I had a slight suspicion Nina would get jealous so I tried to find something for her,, but she has zero interests I can shop for. She likes Vinyl records, but no store in the nearest 100 miles sells vinyl. It’s not like she likes comic books or video games or stuffed animals or.. anything. I cannot shop for her. The original Idea was to go thrift shopping just the three of us, and I buy Nina anything she wants because I know she likes thrifted items and we’ve been wanting to go thrifting together for months. BUT Nina was out of the state and her parents wouldn’t tell her how long she’d be there so I couldn’t schedule anything when she got back. The blizzard she was stuck in would have fucked it up anyway but still. The idea is, it would have been impossible to get Nina what she wants. But I don’t think she sees that. She only saw that Wendy got a gift from me and she didn’t. Now might be a good time to point out that Wendy didn’t get anything for christmas because her family considers it a big waste of money (which it is, but Wendy has never experienced a single christmas in her life). So yeah naturally I’d want to get her something. Besides the jacket I got her, the only other thing Wendy got for christmas is a KH Funko pop from another friend. Thats it. So excuse me if I wanted to make this christmas a little bit more happy for her.

Besides the point, but just a side note, I didn’t get anything for christmas either. It’s not like I’m hard to shop for either, I like the same things Wendy likes (minus KH maybe) and I like flannels and beanies A LOT. And they’re stupid easy to find, especially in winter. But all I got was a heartfelt letter from another friend who is too sweet to be in this story. I got a letter and none of my other friends got me anything. Not Nina or Wendy. But I never not once complained about it while I saw all my friends give and give and give to other people. That’s why I went shopping for myself, so I couldn’t possibly want anything that anybody was giving except for love (cliche, barf, ik, whatever).

So yea it just kinda rubbed me the wrong way when Nina complained about not getting anything. EXcuse you. I should really be the one complaining, cuz I’m 40 bucks in the hole on a jacket I’ll never wear and Wendy’s only worn like once since I gave it to her. I didn’t get anything either, I actually lost here. Wendy’s got another jacket she’ll never wear, so that only seems like a plus to me and she didn’t get anybody anything, but only cuz she doesn’t have money and her parents won’t let her get a real job. And you haven’t gained or lost anything. If we really wanna be equal, let’s all get gifts for each other. Unless we all come out down and up 2 gifts, somebody’s got a right to complain, and if we look at who’s lost the most, it looks like it’s me. But I’m not going to because I don’t need a gift to validify my friendships. I gave to a friend who it looked like needed it the most out of pure goodwill. I don’t expect anything in return, and I think there’s a thing on the internet about how if you talk about how charitable you are, your charity is null and void, at least the intent of it is. But I don’t think that counts if the only people I’m talking about can’t read this. Maybe it does, but I gain and lose nothing anyway.

If I gave Nina something or Nina gave me something, Wendy wouldn’t care. If Nina gave Wendy something or Wendy gave Nina something, I wouldn’t care. So I really don’t see the big deal that I gave Wendy something. The only difference I see is that Nina is out of the loop, and she’s the only one who cares if she is.

Idk I could go on forever but I’d just regurgitate the point that Nina, you suck for trying to make me feel bad for doing a nice thing. Please. Fix yourself, because nobody else can.

#vent #venting

[troughtonmedia]

State of the Union 2020

Now that I’m out of a job for a little bit I’m able to watch things like the Super Bowl and the State of the Union.  You see, I had been delivering pizzas since Donald Trump was inaugurated in 2016 but that came to a screeching halt last Thursday night when an armed robber came into my store an hour before closing and pointed the gun right at me.  Instinct told me to run so I said what could’ve been my last words and dove the opposite direction in a sprinting motion and called 911 after exiting thru the back door.  There’s probably a reason you didn’t hear about it in the news but that’s another story.  

Trump touted the fact that unemployment is at an all time low and he even subcategorized it.  African Americans, Hispanics, the handicapped, war veterans.  According to him, everybody is doing better.  As President, he even has the gall to credit himself with these successes.  Stop taking away individual accomplishments.  Now I couldn’t vote in 2016 but I will say I wanted him to beat Hillary Clinton.  She’s a career politician and the wife of a former president that won because of 3rd party candidates.  Trump I thought to myself, was at least a business man.  Yes, he has several failed ventures but you gotta give a man some credit for trying.  I would say he is most successful at maintaining an audience in reality television.

The cameras panned over to army generals, supreme court justices, Democrats, Republicans, and several honored guests including radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh who was presented with the medal of freedom.  A military spouse was reunited with her loving husband, and a remarkable story was told about a 100 year old World War II airman who’s great grandson is training to be in the Space Force.  Families of the fallen were there as well mostly consisting of those lost due to illegal immigrant violence and ISIS.  There’s a whole bunch of sorrow out there that is still an open book.  Are Democrats and Republicans gonna heal this nation or further separate it?  Nancy Pelosi, speaker of the house, tore up the President’s speech on camera after it concluded.  Some of the nation applauded Trump and some of the nation booed the fuck out of him.

We are living in a tumultuous era and I can guarantee you there have been people like me saying this since the colonists dumped a bunch of tea in Boston Harbor!  What’s the difference between them and I?  I have an extremely fluid plan to end it all.  All the bitching, all at once!  Tce070 the ameba virus paddled into twitter on election day 2012 when a Mormon ran for president and lost to a black man that I voted for.  Shapeless, formless, and everywhere I am either gonna prove the existence of God or die trying.  I’m pretty sure some of the more “deep state” branches of government know who I am and have an idea of what I’m trying to do and 2020 could be a monumental year if I get it done.  

Every hotel room and court house in our divided nation has copies of a book known as the Holy Bible.  Your average Democrat or Republican has read it, studied it, and even worship it on Sundays.  I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that but there is most definitely a catch!  As of right now, the book lies unfulfilled and what’s crazy here is this doesn’t just affect the United States of America; it concerns the globe!  Billions of Christians and Muslims await the return of Jesus the Christ; messiah of planet Earth!  The ancient religion of Judaism (who deny the Christ) are anticipating their own messiah as well.  It is my full intent to expose this message into the mainstream as soon as possible.  I say this after years of trying.  It has put me in both mental hospitals and jail but this is something I’m willing to die for.  What is the State of the Union in 2020?  Over 2000 years of unfulfilled prophecy.  

#State of the Union #Donald Trump

[lxckyclovers-blog]

SOURCE

100+ followers, aaa!! i want to say a quick THANK YOU to everybody who stuck with me && SUPPORTED me, i really didn’t expect y’all to continue following me up to now and it really means a lot! i’ll mainly be writing about people who i’ve had some level of interaction with, but that DOES NOT MEAN i do not appreciate you && your blog! and now, without further ado and in no specific order:

@relixum​ / @gctshot​ / your other 6 blogs look at where we are... look at where we started... i know i don’t deserve you gale, but hear me out, that would be enough... honestly, we talk a lot, and as much as i compliment you whenever i get the chance to, that won’t stop me now. i love your rping so much?? like, every character you pick up, cherish, decide to give attention to... i instantly know that you’re going to write them so well!! you’re talented, smart, funny, and i! love! you! we just support each other a lot mutually, and whatever happens, no matter what, i’d like that to keep on happening in the future. but right now, know that i love you and you’re always in my mind at least twenty times a day. ♥

@pixcldream​ aaaAAA meme!! i think you were one of my first interactions when i first ever created my blog, but i can’t remember that. you were always kind of approachable for me && i always wanted to be your friend and talk a bit more to you? and heck, you may not be my parent anymore but you’ll always be a parent to me in my heart. i’ve always admired you and love your nanami and headcanons!! 100/10, justifies gamer girl a lot. i also love your art!! and u better watch out before i steal your hands to art like thy- also, if you feel as if you’re dying, Just Don’t

@mxssias​ aaaaAAALEX!! our hope boys combined together is a trouble we cannot keep at bay, and i am Glad™ i followed you because i love your naegi. he’s pure and only wants to do things for the sake of kibou, and i really love our boys’ interactions! even though... a lot has to do with crack. har har. but yeah, our interactions are a+ crack or serious, and may our hope boys spread hope!

@sunnywitchesperitou​ oooh tea!! i love your sonia, honestly! you put depth into her and you clearly know what you’re going to do to make sonia a much more interesting character! i also LOVE your art, like. dang, pleasing to the eye and just overall, your art blows me away!! keep doing what you’re doing mon ami, && you’re fun to talk w/, whenever we do!!

@snappshot​ / @cantatory​ / @steinways​ inHALES... sarah!! we haven’t threaded on your koi or mai yet but i don’t need to interact with them to know that you’re absolutely amazing and rping them. i love the dis//cords you host, bc it’s such a great idea!! even tho i don’t participate in much conversation, it’s still fun, and i love it whenever we talk mi amigaaaAAAA---ur portrayals are beyond amazing, i love how much care you harbor for your characters, that always leads to mind blowing rping!

@nullverum​ / @shpionaz​ listen up you four thirteen los3r...jk jk, boss you’re chill. i mean, i haven’t seen much of your oc but we talk ooc sometimes whenever i’m actually present in the groupchats, and it’s coolio!! i like your portrayal and bro u may not be my main but i will always kinkshame committee w/ you, and even though your name is from the horror film, er, my apologies---anime, homosuk, you’ll always be my friend! (also. psst i’m always up for discussing homosuk for a blast to the past if you need it)

@ofdesperationis MY FRIEND I LOVE IT WHEN YOUR ENO HARASSES MY KO, honestly!! like tbh, he’s just so salty at her and i love writing his reaction to her. he’s just so done with her && her HANDful of puns. i love you portrayal, too!! it’s trés bien, just...mmMM!! i didn’t know what i signed up for when i followed you back, but hoo boy do i not regret it. ko might not want to be friends with eno, buT IT SURE AS HELL doesn’t mean that we ain’t gonna be spicy friends if they ain’t!!

@mendcx / @kurenaii / i think you have other blogs but AKU GOD DAMN, i love your portrayals SO MUCH, and you know this...i know you doooo. i love our interactions && i love it when your kamu steps on my ko, fulfilling his gross and masochistic wishes. your kamu has to put up with so much shit and honestly, i kind of feel bad for him agikha but yo, hit me up in dms whenever bc bro i love talkin’ to you and i’m always up to more of that ship shit if you gotta dump out some stuff and CAN’T HOLD IT IN...oh if only you know how excited i was when you first hit me up, yo, harhar. love ya my buddy, my friend, my responsible friend

@lyingforadream / @hazuukashi / @ofstarsandfists ALRIGHT, DUSTING. j’aime tu rping, parce que est trés bien et tu ne peut pas dire moi autrement. okay, i translated some of that, bUT SOME OF IT IS FROM MY KNOWLEDGE SO YOU! CAN’T! JUDGE! ME! i’m still learning french mon ami, but still! i like your rping and hit me up in dms w/e i’m on and you wanna say something to me, bro. don’t hold back! you’re really funny and GOd, i love ur jokes but man YOU GOTTA STOP KILLING ME. but yea ily bro just try not to kill me anymore tyty you’re one of the best, don’t stop now

@shinguvji iggy!! yoo honestly, i’ve always looked up to you and whenever you notice me, i’m like 000: && you’re like a role model for me! i love interacting with you, it’s fun to see what happens when you put our two characters together. i’ll never forget the story times, especially the fact that guuji is an anthropologist who has Quite the Knowledge on, well, the strangest of stories. you’re really entertaining and i love seeing you on your dash, if i see anything posted by you, there’s like a 99% chance i’ll read it, because everything you create is intriguing!!

@ongakuvoices / @anemoia-avenoir / @ketsuekicrown AAAAAND RIO! gosh i absolutely LOVE the justice you give the characters, and i super duper wish you got more attention on nagisa because your portrayal is absolutely worth it, even if we haven’t interacted much on there. i love talking with you whenever i appear in the chatroom, and whenever we plot our twinbuki au!! can’t wait to set things straight and figure out family stuff, so we could start it already woohoo---your character portrayals are en pointe and i love interacting with you on any blog, and mioda always gives me that rush of adrenaline interacting with her like whoa!! what is she gonna do next? you’re doing 100% amazing so keep it up, my friend!!

@hexapodboy​ GOSH BON, i’ll be honest with ya!! i’ve always looked up to you and you always inspire me!! your portrayals are incredibly mind-blowing and i love seeing you on my dash!! your gonta is so pure and literally doesn’t deserve any of my ko’s antics, because he’s too innocent for it all. i love our crack threads and we need to get more serious threads going, seriously, but nonetheless our interactions are still amusing and, well, interesting! i wish we talked more ooc, you seem like a rly nice person && i love your kara icons ikhgkhgr really gives off the Cool™ demeanor, yo. but!! i can assure you that not 100% of our interactions will involve bombs, gonta deserves better than THAT

@mcfiant / @swcrdleap / your other 9 blogs--- IT’s been like, ten centuries bro, my dude, my partner in *komaeda and amami voice** death o’clock---and i love our interactions! and i love your portrayal of EVERY. SINGLE. CHARACTER. YOU. PLAY. regardless if i know that character or not, because you do such a good job that i just get the sense that it’s how the character legitimately is. we don’t talk much but when we did, it was amazing and i couldn’t stop laughing. i mean. it’s not every day you see amami kicking down doors over hiring assassins. i’ll always follow you mon ami because i love your portrayals and headcanons aND a lot more. one of my faves && i’ll read anything you have to offer bc your work is always interesting, honestly. even if your character is an asshole, komaeda can take it!!! he’s an asshole to himself, after all. but yea neal ily mi amigo and i promise i’ll tell you if anything’s wrong with your links akhgahg

AND I REFUSE TO FORGET THOSE WHO STUCK AROUND! the people in this section are people i’ve had really limited interactions with, but i’m very glad decided to stick around my blog!! i look up to you, and i wish i got to know y’all better so i could give you a spot up there with my positive comments!!

@despuddle / @kxaito / @fxshionable-mxsks​ / @ayatsurii / @kibarashiartist / @mxgicxlrxd / @invegold​ / @hairhorns​ / @twintaiiled / @goodluckgoodhope / @kyoukokiwigiri​ / @hxpelessnurse / @beheadingtoujou / @bubblegumrose / @fashicnkiller​ / @positivepianist​ / @robotichxpe​ / @bestiascuro​ / @docilexdisguises​ / @pseudxcode​ / @cxruscxte​ / @artqiues​ / @sollertiis​ / @boysofbrokensouls​ / @shufukuu​ / @frosted-mermaid​ 

&& HAVE AN AMAZING WEEKEND!!!

#╠ ★ ᴛʜᴇ ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴ ɪɴsɪᴅᴇ ᴍᴇ; ɪ ᴛᴜʀɴᴇᴅ ᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴇ ᴍɪʀʀᴏʀs ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ. (ooc) ╣ #╠ ★ ᴄᴀɴ'ᴛ ʙᴇ sᴜʀᴇ ᴡʜᴇɴ ᴛʜᴇʏ'ᴠᴇ ʜɪᴛ ᴛʜᴇɪʀ ᴍᴀʀᴋ. (follow forever) ╣ #((thank you all so much; and if you're not on their---)) #((that does not make you any less significant than the people on this list!!))