#(ps i loved the episode though!! don't get me wrong i just really want some clarification!) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sugdenlovesdingle · 6 months

Text

20 Questions for Fic Writers

thanks for tagging me @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad

I love wasting time with these things when I'm supposed to be writing 😉

How many works do you have on AO3? In total 262, for tarlos 24 (and counting)

What's your total AO3 word count? 642,739 (holy shit)

What fandoms do your write for? at the moment just 911 lone star/tarlos, but I'm kind of looking into RWRB/firstprince, and depending on a certain mister R. Hawley, I might get pulled back into emmerdale/robron

What are your top five fics by kudos? I'll stick to tarlos for this or else it'll just be 5 robron fics Austin TX first responders week - TK and Carlos have to give a talk about their jobs at a school for Austin's first responders week. Filling in the blanks - a post episode/missing moment of Owen finding out what happened to Carlos in 4x04 See you later - Marjan going to say goodbye to a still recovering Carlos before she leaves in 4x05 - kind of a missing moment It started with a concussion - a meet ugly with Carlos literally running into TK while chasing a suspect Love and Lou - The Lou fic! Vet!Carlos AU meet cute with a little help from Lou I and II

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Not as often as I should. I never know what to say other than "Thank you" and i just end up reading the comments 50 times over (and i save the emails from AO3) and I'm like I LOVE YOU PERSON LEAVING A COMMENT ON MY SILLY LITTLE STORY YOU MADE MY DAY - but only in my head because i don't want to seem too weird. Idk - I overthink things.

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings. Though PS I love you is a little bittersweet I guess. TK getting a letter from Gwyn on his wedding day.

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? All of them! I need a happy ending - always. But I suppose it was 'earned' the most in California where they both Go Through It before they get their happy ending.

Do you get hate on fics? I haven't on tarlos fics but I did get a hater on one of my anti chas robron fics once. I just deleted the comment.

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not really. I've tried... but it's just not for me.

Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? Not really. Unless you count the tiny blink and you miss it RWRB reference in Swing swing.

Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not as far as I know.

Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope but I've translated fics from German to English for a friend yeeeeeaaaars ago - for Luke/Noah from As The World Turns

Have you ever co-written a fic before? I have, several. For Luke/Noah from ATWT way back in the day. it was an Experience™

What's your all time favourite ship? I can't pick just one!

What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? Undercover Carlos - I really want to finish it but I'm so bad at multi chapter fics. I'm bad at planning and I lose motivation and everyone else loses interest. I'm going to try get back to it when I'm done with my flufftober fics (so somewhere next summer or so 🙃)

What are your writing strengths? Dialogue for sure. and cutesy oneshots.

What are your writing weaknesses? Describing stuff. Translating the "picture" I have in my head to words on 'paper' is The Worst. Also planning and plotting a story - I tend to make stuff up as I go (which is why I suck at long multichapter fics)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Don't do it unless you speak the language or know someone who does who can check it for you. Google translate is NOT your friend. A few words here and there (like the Spanish terms of endearment in tarlos fics) is fine, you can't really go wrong with that, but for more than that you need someone who actually speaks the language.

First fandom you wrote for? Luke and Noah - As The World Turns

Favourite fic you've written? For Tarlos I had a lot of fun with my Lou fic that I mentioned earlier and The perfect costume has done some interesting things to my insta algorithm, and The power of a muddy dog was fun because I like soft!TK with Buttercup. But all of my fics have *something* that makes them *special* to me.

If you've read all this... I'm impressed lol

tagging: @noxsoulmate @carlos-in-glasses @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut @lightningboltreader @bonheur-cafe @sanjuwrites and and an open tag for whoever feels like doing this because I never know who to tag!

#tag games #tarlos #tarlos fic

8 notes · View notes

theteasetwrites · 1 year

Note

Hi Abbi! I also wanted to give you some of my views on Daryl's "love affairs"

(Sorry if I'm wrong but as I told you earlier I'm Italian and consequently my English is not perfect). I also wanted to thank you for following me on Instagram, you are so cute and I love having you among my followers!

I also think Leah and Daryl's relationship was rushed and forced. Before introducing Leah, if I'm not mistaken, Daryl had a few moments with Connie where there was a strong connection. Then came Leah suddenly and I was like WTF. Daryl deserved a more in-depth love story, he is a character who has suffered so much in life in general, he does not like that he also suffers in love. For me Connie is perfect for him but I understand that the episodes are ending and they can't really delve into this relationship very much.

Ps. I find it ironic that Daryl has always been hurt (physically and verbally) by many people and has a dynamic with someone deaf and dumb, as if Connie could never hurt him (in fact she is always respectful and very sweet towards him), I don't know how to explain it and I don't know if you understand what I mean.

Anyway, I read a new update on Daryl's spin off: a girl will accompany him on his journey. I don't know how to feel about it

Thank you for saying I'm cute omg you're cute too <3

Yeah Leah sucks Connie rules. I mean I hate comparing female characters too much but yeah, Connie would be a much better love interest for Daryl, so I have to compare them lol. Daryl definitely deserves something better than that one episode love story they gave him. It's just really lazy and kind of insulting to the people who are invested in Daryl's story and character progression. Also Leah was just a bad person and Daryl deserves a good person, like Connie. So yeah I agree that Connie is the best character for him.

I'm not sure what you mean by "deaf and dumb" but that is probably a translation thing lol, since I don't think you meant to call Connie dumb, but I get what you mean other than that I think. Perhaps you are saying that it is really sweet how Daryl might be falling for someone who can't speak since he has been hurt so much by words in the past. Though Connie can technically speak through sign language, this new means of communicating is perhaps refreshing for Daryl since it is much less loud and much more calm and quiet, which is something that Daryl desires in his life.

Oh yeah, I'm a little weary about that. I feel like they're gonna attempt another romance storyline since the character is important enough to mention. Idk it just gives me Leah vibes again.

#abbi speaks

4 notes · View notes

fictionkinfessions · 2 years

Note

Ah, I understand. No worries at all about anything done on your side, really I should be apologizing about my impatience. I know that this website isn't all too fond of lengthy asks, and I thought that may have kept my ask from being received by you all. I'm pleasantly surprised to know I was wrong.

I'm glad you've enjoyed the few things I've written here so far, that's what I was hoping to accomplish.

My source is the surrealist horror podcast "I Am In Eskew", released in the year 2018. I'm highly intrigued by your feelings of recognition, I have yet to meet anyone who is familiar with my source, even less with me as an individual. If you do happen to know me, or if any of my submissions seem familiar to you in any way, then I would be more than happy to know about it. We could very well be co-workers who just happened to stumble upon eachother once more.

Thank you both for your attentiveness and kind words, Mod Party Cat.

Be with you again soon.

- David Ward.

SCREAMING. Yelling. I had to get up and walk around for a bit oh my god. That's why you're so familiar! I've been listening to Eskew! Like, I literally just started after I finished Knifepoint Horror a little while ago!! No I have to walk around again this is too much!!

Ok I'm back. We're on the floor now, very good and trusty floor, my oldest friend who is always there for me when I fall. Hi! hello, I realize I didn't even greet you!! Oh my god, it's David Ward. Yes, I love hearing from you, omg!! I think if I had been reading the transcripts it would have clicked faster. Something about the tone of your voice / writing made me wonder if we met or something. You are so similar to the podcast, I really can't believe it. Or maybe? I'm only on episode 11, so that former coworkers thought could be prescient. I have several horror fictotypes already and I would be honored and surprised if Eskew was my first podcast based horrorkin. We'll see, I guess.

But anyways, thank you for your patiences and I hope you are warm, dry, and safe in this life!!

Connie / Mod Party Cat!

[ps. Sorry about the um. fish market. good for you but also that was a lot to go through and I hope you don't have to / want to do that here. Rest well, sweet dreams.]

pps everyone go listen to or read the transcripts for I Am In Eskew' all the cool kids [me, David Ward] are listening and reading already hehe They even have some content warnings listed on the episode page though I've been making some more detailed ones if anyone wants them too!

click me ! -> https://www.iamineskew.com/

#fictionkinfessions #if there's analytics on that site #sorry for weird kin shit #love your website good stuff #mod party cat!#not confessions #long post #mod response

10 notes · View notes

miss-alice-evelynn · 2 years

Text

Now that I've FINALLY watched DSMOM, I wanted to share my thoughts.

Firstly, this movie has had a lot of mixed reviews and they're all valid. It's okay to not like this movie or any movie, just don't hate on others for what they think.

So, I LOVED this movie. Not even kidding. I went in excited and left with my mouth agape. I won't lie when I say I went it with a lot of reviews in my head, some saying that it was more of Wanda's movie than Stephen's and I understand why people say that HOWEVER I also think that Stephen had a lot about him too. He had some amazing moments and bringing up Donna? Was not expecting that one!

Let's start with Stephen, actually.

I've always been a fan of Doctor Strange since I first heard about him. I went to the cinema to watch the first one with my brother and I remember loving the hell of it. I've heard a lot of people say that Stephen is now the Iron Man of the universe and I do get why people say that but I also have to disagree. Stephen is a lot like Tony in many ways but he's not rhe Iron Man of the MCU now, he's the Doctor Strange of the MCU. This movie genuinely made me love Stephen more. His variants were amazing, I loved Defender Strange (AKA Ponytail Boi) a lot more than I care to admit honestly. Sinister Strange was so creepy and cool. Supreme Strange definitely left a mark. And the whole dreamwalk part with Zombie Ponytail Boi? Exquisite. I have to say that I'm glad Stephen isn't the Sorcerer Supreme, my man Wong is just the better fit. Stephen still has some ways to go. Ps. Fucking loved the fight scene with the music notes, Danny elfman you mad man.

Now let's move to Wanda.

Truthfully, Wanda only really started to be liked by me with WandaVision so I'm glad she had that show. Obviously, Wanda in the MCU is a sore point for some which is valid and you shouldn't be wronged to want a romani Wanda. Whitewashing is a problem. Full stop. To do my little review though, I do have to discuss the performance. I did enjoy Wanda as an antagonist. It was a good decision overall and Olsen did a wonderful job with it. Again, I do understand why people are annoyed that she got so much development in the plot compared to Stephen. I felt like Stephen didn't always have the spotlight considering it's a Doctor Strange movie and his first one was like 6 years ago. It's just so interesting to see the true power of the Darkhold. I don't think it's fair to say the development that Wanda underwent in WandaVision was gone. Her story is complex and so is her goals, and they can be simplified easily. I do think Raimi should have watched more than one episode though.

America... oh America. Sweet angel. Loved her. Amazing debut, can't wait to see what she gets up to next. *YOUNG AVENGERS BABY!*

Wong = 🐐

Now I guess I need to address the cameos. I really wish we weren't informed about them. I really do. They would have been a delightful surprise. The trailers as a whole revealed WAY too much and did sometimes feel like they were making the film out to be something it wasn't. John Krasinski as Reed? AWESOME! Black Bolt's implosion was strangely dope ngl. Captain Carter was cool I guess but I kinda wish they stop using her all the damm time. Captain Marvel, love Maria. Nice to see Mordo again. Professor X too. I don't think there needed to be more cameos, just slightly better executed.

And as the great philosopher, that pig from Looney Toons, once said, "That's all folks!"

#dsinmom #dsmom #doctor strange #doctor strange mom #wanda maximoff #wong #america chavez #spoilers #marvel #reviews #movie review

7 notes · View notes

addictedtostorytelling · 2 years

Note

How would you feel about a season 2 of CSI Vegas? forgetting the fact of the whole rollercoaster scene and if it had just ended with Wix being sentenced and then showing a potential serial killer in vegas…would you want there to be a second series? what Do you see the Grissoms doing? Would they still be in Vegas for this serial killer? If it is picked up I imagine the serial killer to be a season long arch like the Wix story line was

ps I do love your metas, I think they are amazing and thank you for taking the time to answer my question.

hi, anon!

thank you for your kind words. i'm glad you enjoy my stuff!

as for your question, i think i'm in the minority on this one, but i'd honestly prefer if this season of csi: vegas were the only one (or at least the only one with the grissoms in it).

don't get me wrong: i very much enjoyed watching our favorite old marrieds being old marrieds. to finally get to see them happy and together on our screens in a way we never had before honestly was a dream come true. billy and jorja did a beautiful job re-inhabiting the characters and depicting this new phase of their relationship. their scenes together were truly a joy to watch.

all of the above said, i very much feel that grissom and sara's story arc is complete as is, and there's little that would be gained—and a lot that could potentially be lost—by prolonging their stay on the show now that the hodges case is resolved.

to me, to bring them back again would just be to tempt fate, and since i'd hate to see their happiness ever be undone, i'd rather not risk it.

though i understand that many fans would disagree with me, i'm of the old-school belief that there is something to be said for allowing a story to end at its natural conclusion.

as this text post articulates,

we got a full arc with the grissoms in this reboot.

we got to see them working together, united as a couple, stable in their identities, supporting and loving each other as they faced outward adversity.

in the end, they saved their friend.

they beat the bad guy.

they got to ride off on a roller coaster together, happily ever after (again!).

their ending was even left—delightfully—open to interpretation, where fans could choose to believe that they were either going to remain in vegas and continue their work with max's team or return to their boat, per our own personal preferences.

really, what more could we ask for than that?

let them end on this high note.

it'd be truly the perfect swansong for these well-beloved characters and their love story together.

of course.

if the powers that be do decide to bring the reboot back for a second season, and if billy and jorja do decide to continue on in their roles for the foreseeable future, then i guess my hope is just that the writers will treat the grissoms in the same way they did this season going forward, giving them external trials to face as a couple as opposed to messing with their relationship internally.

as for the potential sqweegel serial killer storyline, i'd honestly kind of hope that the writers would opt to keep it short, as i feel like one of the major failing points of s1 was that they didn't do a very good job of balancing the serialized hodges a plot case with the episodic case-of-the-week b plot cases each week; the former always overwhelmed the latter, and especially because all of the cases of the week tended to be incredibly outlandish, to the point where they carried almost no emotional resonance with either the characters within the narrative or the audience outside of it.

another season-long case running up more case-of-the-week scenarios would only serve to exacerbate this problem, and particularly if the cases of the week continued to be centered on fetish sex clubs and freak shows and mile-high locked-room multiple homicides.

that so, i'd prefer to see any potential second season of the reboot focus on some more "meat and potatoes" kinds of one-and-done cases that could actually feasibly happen to real people in real life, of the same types that we used to see in the early seasons of the original show, rather than on another season-long serial case or more over-the-top, "this is so extreme that there's no way to even emotionally engage with it" sensationalized weekly capers.

i think it would help immensely with the characterization of the new team members to see them actually having to respond to victims they could personally relate to and to do so on a more localized basis (i.e., one case at a time, one week at a time).

to see some whole episodes devoted to more run-of-the-mill domestic homicides, b&es gone wrong, trick rolls, traffic accidents, off-strip assaults, etc. might actually do a world of good for this series, making it feel more grounded and plausible.

sometimes less is more, you know?

that's just my take, though.

ymmv, of course.

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #anon #asks: csi #let's talk shop #csiverse

15 notes · View notes

k-odyssey · 3 years

Text

Thoughts on So I Married the Antifan

Whoa, I'm so out of practice. Can't believe I used to review stuff and be able to express my opinions. I also have taken exactly zero notes on this drama.

So I Married the Antifan had the kind of title that would reel me in for sure. I have a well-documented weakness for contract relationship that inevitably turn into love, which I expected this to be. We didn't quite get the usual trope, but maybe that's for the best. I like some variety on a theme, even though I'm a "monomaniac" (according to my brother).

At first, Joon was a bit too much of a jerk and Geun Yong a bit too volatile. Which was on purpose, I know. But with some characters it's love at first sight, even with their flaws. I guess because their flaws feel relatable, not so with Joon and Geun Yong. These two took a few episodes to grow on me, but they definitely did. I enjoyed the romance, it was a pleasant enemies-to-lovers.

I did laugh a lot as well. I liked Geun Yong's group of friends and Joon's amazing manager a lot.

My main issue the entire time was Jae Joon. The drama was showing me an abusive boyfriend, an aggressive boss and a selfish/manipulative friend, asking me to feel bad for him while he was showing very little remorse and blaming everyone else. Sure JJ grew up in a terrible family and felt betrayed by Joon, but that doesn't excuse everything. Also JJ was boring tbh, repeating the same patterns over and over again. What did Joon do so wrong? I personally don't think prioritizing his career, if it had been his goal, would've been a sin. Maybe I'm an individualist. But JJ wasn't even that good of a friend, wanting to debut first.

In Hyung finally gathered the courage to leave him after years of misery and she's rewarded with guilt and runs back to him in the end. Even waiting for him to start her career. Seriously. I wish things had been fixed with therapy and time rather than a life-threatening accident, but this is a drama. At least nobody got amnesia this time.

You know that trope where the male lead disappears to suffer/fix his problems by himself near the end of the drama? (*whispers* Oh My Venus) I would typically hate this, but here Joon takes a step back from the relationship in a way that makes sense, for good reason, and without cutting off contact.

Would I rather watch Joon and Geun Yong face things as a couple? Yes, but there's been such a cataclysm in his life that I understand why he would need some time to address his various problems. And Geun Yong takes this opportunity to look for a job and get her career back on track. Also her parents come over to take care of her, which I really loved.

Anyway, I found Joon's songs catchy. Although I'm not sure why he sang Bittersweet (that "I wonder what is love" song) in ep 2 when the drama seems to be saying it's a new song he's writing later on? What did I miss, is the duo version supposed to be a new version of an existing song? Or did the writers think I wouldn't rewatch the first few episodes after reaching ep10 or so, and therefore would never notice?

All of that to say, I found I Married the Antifan super enjoyable to watch and would classify it as a feel-good. I didn't mind the tropes cause I never do if they're done well/well-enough. I would 100% rewatch it, but definitely fast-forward most of JJ cause seeing that once was more than enough.

PS: Did anyone feel like Joon had actually grown up in Alaska at any point? I don't know what it'd have taken for me to believe it, but I didn't believe it.

PPS: WTF was that kidnapping tho? It made no sense and felt like it was just here to a) show Geun Yong genuinely worrying about Joon b) make him seem like a Good Guy for later on.

#so i married the anti fan #so i married an anti fan #kdrama thoughts

12 notes · View notes

thehollowprince · 4 years

Text

The Mountain of Ghosts

Another week, another episode. This one dealt with a topic that I know has been on the fandom's mind since the end of season four, so let's just dive into this.

Alice and Eliot - obviously the big part of the episode. This has been on everyone's mind since season one and the possibility of Queliot was a thing. It's been a constant back and forth, one or the other, situation since, and sadly, we all know where most of the fandom landed on that issue. This was a good episode that got to the crux of the issue here, that being Quentin. Not Alice's or Eliot's feelings toward Quentin but rather his feelings toward them.

For years I've stood here and watched the constant screeching of "Quentin loved Eliot more!" or more rarely, (seriously, very rarely), "Quentin loved Alice more!" It got to the point where I firmly believed, and still believe, that it wasn't a matter of actually caring about Quentin at all. I'm not saying that no one actually liked Q, but that was secondary to the main issue of which ship would win in the end. Shipping is a big thing in fandom, but what no one really ever wants to admit is that it's also a big problem in fandom, in that ship wars happen and all some people seem to care about is the validation that comes with watching their ship set sail or another ship sink. That's all I'm going to say about that right now, because honestly the problem with shipping in fandom is a whole other topic waiting to be made, but its relevant to this issue, so let's move on.

Alice and Eliot both loved Quentin, and whether anyone wants to admit it or not, he loved both of them back. It isn't a matter of saying he loved either one of them more, or which one was more valid because no one loves two different people in the same way. Some of the things that Quentin loved about Alice aren't the same things he would have loved about Eliot. And this episode really highlighted that. Eliot and Alice are about as different as you can get, especially when it comes to romance. They both had different approaches to their relationship with Q, and I'm so glad we got to see them resolve their differences. We finally got to see Eliot say to someone else that he and Q loved each other, and have Alice not only acknowledge it but embrace it. She said it best, "what was I going to do? Demand he be less complicated? That he only love one person?" Too often Alice is reduced to this one-dimensional girl who is only defined by her relationship with Quentin, especially by fandom, and this really broke that mold. This was a nice episode for the two of them, to work through their anger and to work together to let go of Quentin... to acknowledge that they couldn't save him. I hope this bond between the two of them keeps building through the rest of the season.

PS: please let Alice wear jeans and pants more often. She looked so much more comfortable than she does in those fetish school girl dresses.

Moving on...

Margo - I'm not sure how I feel about this whole "reclaiming the throne" thing she's got going on. I loved Margo winning the throne by her own merit back in season three, because it worked in that moment. And then last year we had her abandon the throne to save Eliot. When push came to shove, she valued one person over the duty she had as a king to her people. I'm not faulting her for that, because I understand where she was coming from, but she still gave up the throne and it paved the way for Fen to assume the throne.

I can only speak for me, but I thought that was beautiful. Having a Fillorian finally sit on the throne of Fillory felt like a major milestone, and now we're just supposed to believe that Margo gets to be the king because she said so? I didn't like that. That's one of Margo's negative character traits, her entitlement, which brings us to...

Fen - I do not like what they're doing with her so far this season. Who is the sycophantic woman? She admired Margo, of course, but not to the extent of idol worship. This is a woman who was part of the F.U. Fighters, fighting for Fillorian rights in a kingdom always ruled by outsiders. But then the moment Margo's not there, she turns into this incompetent moron, so much so that she and Josh were overthrown because they were waiting for someone else to save them, and I don't like that. That is a complete disservice to the character and the journey she's been on for the previous three seasons.

Also, this whole Josh thing that's going to come between these two women, who have had such respect for each other, leaves a bad taste in my mouth. I was one of those (probably the only) who was rooting for Josh and Margo. Were there things I would have changed about it? Of course, but I thought they worked well together and off of one another, and now we have this bullshit. I liked Josh, not just because we shared the same name, but because he was an interesting character that people, especially women, seemed to like, not because of his appearance but because of his personality. And now they've turned him into a quintessential Nice Guy™ who sleeps with his girlfriend's friend instead of figuring out a way to save themselves and Fillory.

I will say that it'll be interesting to see how Fen and Margo repair their friendship after that revelation that Margo legitimately tried to kill her, if they repair it at all.

As for everyone else...

Julia - I know we're working up to something with her and the big catastrophe, so I'm gonna let her lack of a role these past two episodes aside from support slide.

Penny - I really would like to see more of Professor Adoyodi, aside from just him doing research for class. Also, it's sad that they had him mention that "best case scenario for Travelers" is that they just become an Uber for their friends, only to have Julia ask him for a lift...

Like, y'all wrote it, maybe you should pay more attention to it!

And then there's Kady and Fogg. The Magicians is so different then other ensemble shows in that they actually use the ensemble! That being said, characters like Fogg and Kady often end up on the side because, while they're deemed primary characters, they feel more like secondary or tertiary ones. I know I'm not the only one interested in what's going on with the Hedge Witches, but we don't see Kady and what's going on with them unless one of the other "mains" needs something, usually some secret Hedge spell or Kady's fist. Same with Fogg. Brakebills was such a cornerstone for this show, and while the mains left the school (didn't graduate, just left) the institution plays a major role still, as a location if nothing else. Add to that the fact that Penny is a professor there now, and I'd espect to see more of it.

Lastly... the Dark King.

Not to toot my horn or anything, but I'm pretty damn good at predicting turns and plot twists. I can usually spot a villain or antagonist the moment I see them, but that wasn't the case here. Granted, in hindsight I should have seen in with how he was introduced, but I was so stuck on the idea that I "knew" who the Dark King was that I couldn't entertain the possibility that I would be wrong. Though, to be fair, he did have a line about illusion magic, so there's a chance I might still be right. All of that being said, it did feel a little like a cop out. All of our other villains and antagonists have been hinted long before their big reveal, and just having a completely new character shown up and go "Surprise, bitch! I'm the dark king" feels a little off to me. We'll just have to wait and see.

All in all, I'd give this episode a rating of 7.5 out of 10. I know I complained a lot, and that's because, aside from Eliot and Alice's arc, the rest of the episode felt kind of lackluster to me. Here's hoping we pick up the pace the rest of the season.

#josh watches the magicians #the magicians meta #the magicians #spoilers #s5e3: the mountain of ghosts

22 notes · View notes

artificialqueens · 5 years

Text

i don't want to be alone anymore (branjie) -- frenchy

a/n: hi hi!! i want to thank you all for the love on my first part of this story, i appreciate that more than you know!!! i decided to give it a second part, though both can be read on their own. & yes i am running this billy joel song title theme with the names. ps. i can be found at alaskathunder on tumblr & also now at frenchys on ao3, where these will end up eventually, along with others, i definitely plan to write more things & pairings soon. hope y'all enjoy, angels!! <3

@Bhytes1: @VanessaVanjie I’m going to Starbucks you want something?

*****

Brooke wasn’t sure how they did it, how they proceeded to shamelessly flirt online as if their private kiss hadn’t even happened only a few nights ago. If it wasn’t for the video evidence, she could have sworn that entire night was a fever dream. Part of her almost wished that she didn’t remember it so vividly, that the way Vanessa touched her and kissed her with no audience wasn’t so detailed in her head. Wished she didn’t have to stop herself from smiling when she remembered it.

It was one thing remembering and thinking about the kiss – she couldn’t change that that happened, and that she didn’t stop it. If anything, she wanted it. She knew it was partly on her for leaning into it, and for getting upset that it hadn’t lasted even longer. She couldn’t blame Vanessa for that. But she could blame Vanessa for what she said.

“At some point we have to quit pretending like this is only for the fans.”

If Brooke thought she was over analyzing these social media interactions before, she was even more fucked now. She only assumed this is how the fans felt on the daily, trying to decipher everything, trying to figure out if this was all Vanessa playing into the contract or using it to hint at how she really felt. How she still felt.

It was futile to put any music on as she took her time getting into drag for the viewing party tonight, where she’d be joining Phi Phi O’hara in a screening of episode 5 – the Monster Ball. No attempts at turning up said music could stop her mind from being only focused on Vanessa, on the moment they shared, on the fact that she had to spend another night reliving the honeymoon phase of their relationship on a giant screen in front of an audience.

Just as Brooke anticipated, it was rough. No. Rough was an understatement. She was conscious of how often she gazed dreamily into the screen, star-eyed. Watching them kiss, and comfort each other, and not be able to predict their fate.

She didn’t expect anyone else to notice, too.

“Can I ask you something? Without you getting defensive?” Phi Phi asked after the episode and Brooke’s consequent performance, standing against the closed dressing room door. She kept her distance, her prodding question accompanied by a sensitive color in her voice. Brooke knew she was trying her best to sound open minded, borderline empathetic.

Brooke sighed. “Shoot,” she encouraged the other queen, but didn’t look up. Phi Phi’s second question was enough to warn her that this wouldn’t be a lighthearted conversation.

“If it wasn’t for the fans. Or the publicity, or the ratings, or the – you get the point,” Phi Phi cut herself off, presuming that Brooke heard enough synonyms. “Would you care?”

Brooke stopped fiddling with her bobby pin, blinking up at Phi Phi through the mirror. “What do you mean?”

“Would you be able to stop all this weird, mysterious twitter stuff tomorrow and not give it a second thought?” Phi Phi wasn’t sure if Brooke was just deflecting, or if she was really that far removed from reality and genuinely needed the simplifying. “Not miss him in your life?” At the use of ‘him’, Brooke knew this was deeper than just not having Vanjie as a fellow queen and friend. “I know it’s none of my business, but if you could see what I saw – the way you watched that episode out there tonight – you’d be asking the same thing.” Phi Phi shrugged, and Brooke hated her for it. She hated how easily Phi Phi could get into her head and understand. Worst of all, she hated how Phi Phi saw it her duty to confront Brooke about it. Maybe she’d thank her in the future, but for now she was brimming with frustration.

“I don’t know. I don’t know, okay?” Another sigh, this one inspired by her own irritation and defeat. “One second we’re flirting and both understanding that we need to stop it before it goes too far. The next we’re –” Brooke stopped, closing her eyes as to stop herself from admitting to Phi Phi what went down the other night. Was it even a big deal? As big as she was clearly making it in her own mind?

“You’re…?” Phi Phi lifted an eyebrow, coaxing Brooke’s frustrated rant. Feelings could be spared for the truth.

Brooke took a deep breath, steadying herself, hands planted onto the table. “We kissed. Like, actually kissed. And I don’t know what her intentions are.”

“Well, I recommend figuring that out. Maybe talk to her? You guys are clearly not on awful terms, how hard could that be?” Phi Phi pressed.

You have no idea, Brooke thought. “Yeah, I’ll try. Thanks, girl,” Brooke smiled at Phi Phi, hoping her appreciation was evident.

*****

She was thrilled to finally share the photos taken of her Monster Ball looks, looks that proved successful in the challenge. She was especially thrilled at the comments regarding her final look, the one that she had fabricated herself. A storm of tulle and black fabric, off the shoulder, with a snake wrapped tastefully around her neck. The more she looked at it, the more critical, but she would defend her win.

She scrolled through the comments, smiling at the sufficient compliments and praise. How would she ever stop being appreciative of everyone who appreciated her back?

Her finger stopped scrolling upon seeing Vanessa’s Instagram handle, a blue check verifying it wasn’t a fan account.

@vanessavanjie: Put my snake around ya neck

She didn’t know whether to like it, comment some orange heart emojis and move on or to roll her eyes after what had happened the other night.

She chose a third option.

If Vanjie wants to keep playing this, then fine. I’ll play along, she thought before hitting send on the comment.

@bhytes: @vanessavanjie haven’t we already done that?

Brooke barely had time to think about the repercussions of her remark before she received a text, shocked at the speed at which Vanessa saw the comment.

Vanjie: Careful there Brooky Poo

Vanjie: Don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea

Brooke felt her heart rate speed up with no gradual increase, immediately beating fast enough to shatter through her rib-cage and land across the room only upon reading Vanessa’s messages. She took a deep breath and typed, then retyped her message a few times, wondering if Vanessa was watching the dots disappear and reappear. Wondering if it was killing her just as much as it was Brooke. When did they turn into giddy teenagers again, instead of professionals with a common goal?

Brooke: What if i do?

She decided against adding a winking face to the end of her reply, but it didn’t stop her from immediately locking her phone and throwing it to her side. God, she needed a cigarette. And maybe a cold shower now. She’d revisit that idea depending on what her phone read next.

As if on cue, she heard the buzz of the phone ring through the bed. She took a minute to gather herself – or prepare herself was maybe the better way to put it. With a reluctance she could only blame on her fear of misunderstanding, Brooke let her hand approach her phone again. It was silly, she thought, how she could fear misunderstanding Vanessa’s intentions even after her initiation of the kiss making it fairly clear how she felt about them.

Vanjie: Oh

Two minutes ago. Brooke tried to ignore the way her heart dropped at the one-word answer; one she couldn’t even see herself replying to in a way that made sense. Maybe it was best left there, and Vanessa really was just adding a playful comment that held no substance.

She was moments away from plugging her phone in for the night and setting it aside with an air of defeat, when it buzzed in her hand. A message from Vanessa. She held her breath as she slid to open it.

Vanjie: You home?

She never exhaled quicker, and never replied quicker, either.

Brooke: Text me when you’re here.

Brooke couldn’t have anticipated what came over her to make her invite Vanessa to come over, if not beg her to come, following her last text with a sharing of her location and hotel room number. All she could do was thank the universe that they were in the same city, which was rare considering their consistent interviews, appearances and performances.

She didn’t think she had been this nervous about something since they first began seeing each other, minus possibly the night that the cast was revealed. And deep within she knew that perhaps her nerves were fruitless – what guaranteed that she and Vanessa would even do anything beyond talk? She wouldn’t dare get her hopes up based on an Instagram comment that was no different than their usual flirt-mance. But she also knew that she had to take this opportunity to confront this, whatever it was.

It wasn’t long before she heard a faint, yet urgent, knock on the door, though it felt like forever. Rolling her eyes, Brooke made her way to the door to the room, opening it with a look of counterfeit annoyance. “I told you to text me when you got here, bitch.”

“Shut up,” Vanessa was quiet, fondness diminishing the harshness of her words. “Can I come in or not?”

Brooke stepped aside, allowing Vanessa to pass her and enter the dimly lit hotel room. Brooke watched her for a moment, so caught up in the way she smelled and the way her hat sat backwards on her head in the most endearing way possible that she almost forgot to close the door.

“Don’t forget to put the ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign out,” Vanessa called behind her, laughing to herself before taking a seat on the edge of the bed, looking up at Brooke, who followed her into the larger area. Vanessa’s laugh didn’t linger after seeing Brooke’s humorless expression. “I was kidding.”

“You have no idea how hard it was, Vanjie, to watch that episode up there. Phi Phi actually clocked me, y’know. The way I looked at you up there. No doubt some of the fans did, too. It was the hardest thing. You don’t even know.”

“You think I wasn’t watching the same episode? I never said it was easy for me, Brooke,” Vanessa didn’t let her continue, nor did she let the incredulous laugh leave her lips, in fear of making Brooke more upset. “I don’t like watching it either.”

“I think I’m confused,” Brooke didn’t mean to change the topic so abruptly, but this had been bugging her for days. “This was your idea. It was your idea to take a break – said you knew the ‘pressures that came with TV’,” Brooke’s immediate dive into the deep end caught Vanessa off guard. If she knew that her visit would turn into her own interrogation, she would have stayed home. “You were the one who said this wouldn’t work, Jose,” Brooke stood her ground, arms folded across her chest. Vanessa didn’t like the way she looked down upon her. Cringed at the way her real name was used. “Why the change of heart?”

“It’s not a change of heart,” Vanessa countered, eyes lit with a newfound boldness. “It’s the… same heart, just. Tired of hiding it. Which, we can keep doing it, we don’t gotta tell anyone anything. But, B,” she stood then, moving to take hold of Brooke’s hands, forcing her to uncross her arms. “I’m not a fan of us lying to ourselves, to each other.”

“Yeah? And when you tweet another flirty reply or comment something on my next live, then what? I’m not a fan of not being able to tell the real from the fake.”

“Tell me this is fake,” Vanessa was calm when she said it, her words and the way she slid her hand to the back of Brooke’s neck serving as the only preparation for the way she brought their lips together. Brooke couldn’t act surprised, like she didn’t anticipate this after their texts and intuition that what happened in that office wasn’t a one-off thing. Her expectation helped her react faster this time, without letting Vanessa end the moment before Brooke had a chance to take action. It was a much necessary continuation of what they didn’t get to finish prior to Vanessa’s performance.

Her frustration, her passion, her longing all charged Brooke into flipping their positions, hands on Vanessa’s shoulders as she held the shorter man against the wall she had been leaning against, prompting a whimper to pass between them from Vanjie’s lips. This was no sweet reunion kiss, but one that had been months in the making.

Brooke could feel Vanessa’s smile after they parted, nothing but heat in the space between them (or lack thereof), their lips still phantoms on each other. “I’m waiting,” she whispered against Brooke’s lips, all victorious smiles. “Tell me.”

“Didn’t you already try this the other day?” Brooke didn’t return her smile, but Vanessa could hear it in her voice.

“Worked, didn’t it?” She carded her hand through the barely-there hair at the back of Brooke’s neck, oblivious to how badly Brooke wanted to kiss that damn smirk off her face. “All you been thinking about, isn’t it? Our kiss?” Brooke tried to step back, though she still felt Vanessa’s hand on her, the other one now coming up to rest on Brooke’s waist. “Shit, I gotta say, though, I think I liked this one better.”

“Yeah?” Brooke cursed herself for the teasing spirit in her voice, but for some reason, she couldn’t help it. Something about Vanessa was electrifying, intoxicating her even after a year. Kicking all her resolve and purpose under the hotel carpet.

“Mhmm,” Vanjie’s eyes lay heavy-lidded, her hunger telling through her gaze. Brooke knew due to her makeup-free face that her bedroom eyes weren’t painted on deliberately. She also knew that she held the same ache in her own body, wondered if her own eyes were as teasing as her voice. “You wanna Instagram live this or somethin’?”

Brooke found herself laughing more at the way Vanessa’s suggestive voice didn’t match her sarcastic question rather than the implication itself. “Oh, fuck off,” she laughed under her breath, swatting Vanjie’s chest as gently as possible, her hand lingering there. They both glanced down at the contact, reminding Brooke of the way their eyes had been jointly fixed on Vanessa’s hand in the room at the club, mindlessly tracing patterns into Brooke’s leg. But there was somehow more tension now, the tension only slightly more comfortable than it had been before. Less fear, but just as much caution and the question of ‘What are we doing?’ not yet obsolete.

It was Brooke who leaned in first this time with little hesitance, hand spreading out more against Vanessa’s chest, twisting delicately in her shirt. Her kisses transferred from lips, to cheek, to jaw, then placing open mouthed kisses along the shorter queen’s neck, evoking a throaty moan above her.

“C’mere,” Brooke wondered if she only imagined the rasped whisper, and she blinked back up at Vanessa, who looked desperate. Brooke noted the way her tattoo was coated red under the flush on her neck and chest, only the top of it visible from under her black T-shirt. She noted the way Vanessa’s breathing was ragged. She looked so fucked, so in disarray, and they hadn’t even taken their shirts off yet.

Brooke’s stomach knotted at just the suggestion that she had that power.

Vanessa pulled her back up, hands coming to hold the sides of Brooke’s face and kissing her with a passion that they hadn’t yet reached before. It was a kiss that guaranteed to Brooke that this wasn’t a convenient fuck, or make out, or just Vanessa feeling lonely.

“I have a flight tonight,” Brooke broke between their kiss and their gasping for breath. “God, I’d give anything to stay here. You know that, right?” She studied Vanjie’s eyes, needed to know that Vanessa understood her intentions. She’d rather do anything than have to look at the pout she looked at now on Vanessa’s face.

“You could stay. What’s one flight?” Vanessa whined, pressing kisses along Brooke’s jaw, her knee pushing between the other’s legs. “I miss you,” she breathed against Brooke’s ear, arms enveloping the taller man.

“You know it’s not that easy. This isn’t stuff we can put off, not like we put off each other. I wish I didn’t have to leave you.”

Vanessa sighed and slumped back against the wall, a hand coming up to run through her hair after the other had lifted her hat off. The broken connection between Vanessa’s flushed face and body, and her disappointed expression, broke Brooke’s heart more than she thought it would.

“That’s cool. I said what I said, and I know now that you’re not so innocent yourself, Miss Brooke Lynn, just like I said so,” Vanessa pointed a finger into Brooke’s chest accusingly, her eyes sparkling with warmth. “Who’s right again? Miss Vanessa Vanjie Isabella Mateo Hytes. Bam!” With a snap of her fingers, Vanessa pulled away from Brooke’s grasp, sliding against the wall she had been held against and back towards the door. Brooke watched her gather her things – her phone, only.

“Where are you going?”

Vanessa turned back around, puzzled. “You said you got a flight tonight. I can’t come with you.”

Brooke mimicked Vanjie’s pout from before, sitting herself down on the side of the bed and extending her arms. “You said you missed me. You made it very clear. My flight’s not until later tonight. You can stay. Until then, I mean. I want you to.”

And who was Vanessa to refuse that invitation.

#rpdr fanfiction #brooke lynn hytes #vanessa vanjie mateo #branjie #canon #fluff #angst #frenchy #sometimes a fantasy #s11 #canon compliant

83 notes · View notes

theskygivesmelife · 3 years

Text

"I am the master of my fate,"

How ironic that a poem about self control uses this very phrase, whilst ignoring the fact that fate, or destiny actually imply that there can never truly be any control, for all is predetermined from the beginning of time.

...

I'd say we don't. Nonexistence is a superior state of existence in my opinion.

...

First things first: you don't love me, so stop saying you do. Even if you genuinely believe you do, you'll understand what I mean.

With that said, for the love of God can you stop messaging me? Not on WhatsApp because I will have *deleted* it, and not on Android messages because I can't respond as I don't have any balance. I use my phone only for music or gaming mainly anyway. Speaking of which, I thought I did make it clear that I don't want to talk to you. When was the last time we did talk? Right, your birthday. I don't remember ever being that drained after talking to you. Honestly, it was a pain—was it for you too? I guess that's what happens as one becomes truly apathetic. Seriously, I don't know who you're still trying to contact, but that person's dead. Well, not literally unfortunately, but if you do want to talk to some tired, disillusioned soul I'm still here I guess. As I mentioned, your little I love yous at the end don't really hold, because, you know, you're really just refering to the wrong person. For the record, I've started to think that not only am I incapable of loving, but am also incapable of being loved.

Anyhow, lets just say that if I were Jekyll then I'm Hyde now. To be honest, I don't even know why I'm responding to you. The "fuck her, why give a damn?" voices have been quite loud for some time. Well, I don't think of you all the time, so "fuck the world" might seem more apt as a generalisation. Back to the point: some time ago I'd have actually cared, but I don't give a shit now about anything.

I'll say it now: I don't think it'll ever be a good enough reason for you. I don't think any reason ever will. You'll probably still try to convince me to maintain contact, even though it's so horribly one sided. Well, I just couldn't care less for the most part. It'd probably be good if you wouldn't waste your time on me though. I mean, let's be real. You're not going to get my number once out if this country. Even if you miraculously did, you'd certainly make some replacement friends in college without the downsides that I have, so it'd be pointless. I know you won't listen anyway, and I said that I don't care either. So why am I even trying? I don't know.

If you'll remember I've tried to shut you out multiple times. It's funny now, ~because I feel absolutely nothing now.~ Quite often in the past I'd feel quite regretful or guilty, but now? Heh, just an emotionless robot just moving along now. Going through the motions you know. Still, if there's one thing I should mention, it's that I never lied to you when I said some sentimental crap like caring about you and such. Whoever I was back then, he genuinely ment it. And now, it seems like my wick is shorter than I imagined. It's going to burn up quick. You know what that means? Garima, it means peace at last. So, let me have my time now. I still dream of that little cottage far away, secluded from society. No-one for company. Okay, a cat and a dog. They'll be nice. A drum kit. Video games maybe? What'll I do? Electrician perhaps? Mechanic? Just so long as it isn't a crappy 9-5 job, and actually pays my bills. No people. No friends—do I really have any? No girlfriend—I don't want one (not asexual, but I'm not as horny as you I guess), and I doubt I'm capable of forming a proper relationship anyway. No family—I never had one to begin with. Can you imagine it? All alone and blissful. Just let me be. Please. One way or another, I'm gone. I'm actually feeling sad now typing this, tears in my eyes and all (I haven't cried in forever) but you shouldn't be. You've got a long, long way to go; you'll do well anyway. I don't know what I really was to you, or what I've done to you. I know that I was a hard person to deal with. I can't really list out all the times I've failed you; I hope you will forgive me for them. Believe me when I say that if there was ever I person I really tried to keep happy as often as I could, it was you.

" *Bye, stay healthy and happy* "

I won't—I can't.

Bye.

PS. Nice songs. I still appreciate music I guess, unless it's a really bad day.

...

[8/18/2018, 12:03 AM] Prathik: It seems not. Oh well, I was hoping I could talk one last time. Silly of me; you're probably either sleeping or studying for tomorrow's — should I say today's? — test.

[8/18/2018, 12:57 AM] Prathik: You know, I've been thinking: what if I wanted to talk to you one day? Would you then be ready to hold conversation? I think you would, but that doesn't strike me as fair. I mean you say that you'll miss me, but that's something you'll just have to take in your stride. On the contrary, if I miss you, then I try contacting you, and in all likelihood you'll just respond. What do you think?

[8/18/2018, 1:44 AM] Prathik: Maybe you're free tonight? I just want to talk; I don't know what I'm even doing now. Ugh I can't even explain it without sounding like some self pitying shithead. Forget it. I'm sorry

[8/18/2018, 12:42 PM] Prathik: Seriously, the very dynamics of our interactions are messed up. Everything is based on my mood and how I'm feeling. Don't want to talk? No problem! I'll go silent. Depressive episode? No problem! I'll go silent. It's like I can literally choose what and when we get to converse. Tired of our conversations? No problem! I'll just stop talking to you. And all you say is that you'll miss me. Sure, it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy, but bloody hell — why didn't you ever call me out for my behaviour? Gee, we screwed up...so many flaws and nothing was even done about them.

Yes, I'm ranting. I'll say stupid things, and maybe hurtful things too. If I were completely aware of what it is that sounded like that, then I wouldn't be saying them. Not that it's an excuse for saying anything I shouldn't. You probably shouldn't take anything personally, because in all likelihood, I'll probably just be projecting.

[8/18/2018, 12:52 PM] Prathik: Oh shit, I really need psychological help don't I? Do you think that if I got better, I'd finally stop sabotaging all the relationships I have?

[8/19/2018, 12:19 AM] Prathik: Goodbye

[8/19/2018, 2:25 PM] Prathik: Okay, I'll just leave this here. Just one last thing. I honestly am doubting my mental stability: I'd wager that I'm fairly unstable in general and more so at this point. My mood seems to swing like a fucking pendulum, and for whatever reason, I have and possibly might keep spouting unnecessary shit. So please, just *IGNORE EVERYTHING* I say. *EVERYTHING.* Except this one last message. Please. It's all I ask.

[8/19/2018, 2:54 PM] Prathik: I'm also not going to be using WhatsApp anymore — no point now right? — so I guess you'll be spared if having to reply to anything.

...

[8/8/2018, 10:24 PM] Prathik: Bloody hell, always nice to me even though I don't deserve it. Can't just go study like you ought to or talk to anyone else? You've got tons of friends after all. Perhaps one day they'll give you a consolation prize saying "good effort; hard luck" and maybe then you'll see how you're just wasting your time. Whatever. It's not like I can control you or force you to behave in a certain manner. Stupid world. Just leave me be

[8/8/2018, 10:52 PM] Prathik: I don't even know why you don't give in. I mean, what am I to you? Some depressed idiot that makes you feel better about yourself? I don't think that's the narrative you've sold to me, so that's probably not the reason.

It's kinda like you're an ant running against the wind. Not any wind, though, just that which is being blown by some sadistic little kid. It keeps running into it. Over and over it tries and fails. The wind keeps pushing it back, but the ant doesn't see how futile it's attempts are. It doesn't see that despite the fact that it keeps trying, nothing's going to change. It has so many other avenues of exploration, ones that would certainly lead to a great reception from the colony, but oh no. The ant keeps running, hoping that the resistance will decrease. Eventually the boy just blows harder, and the ant flies away and lands on its back. (Good thing it has an exoskeleton.) Only then does it see how pointless its efforts were, and that they were better off invested somewhere else.

...

You know how people throw that fucking annoying platitude around? That things will get better? Doesn't happen. It's no different in its progression from a physical illness, and once you go beyond a certain stage you're only living on fumes at that point. Limited time. But it'll get better they say. Fucking hell, it can also get worse, but who's willing to actually concede that bleak truth?

...

Yeah, maybe. I don't know. I'm just getting worse mentally. I mean, I set the suicide date for when I'm 25. It's only kept dropping. I started considering pushing it to college years, and now I'm genuinely pondering whether I should just drop out of college like when I'm 19 or so and be done with it — at least I won't have to wonder about how you'll come meet me in USA lol. I'm also drawing more blanks in tests. It's not like I don't know, it's just making me more and more anxious. Like the psychology UT we had just some time ago. I left 12 marks because it seemed to easy to be true and I thought I was wrong. I got 17.5 . And meeting people, ugh. Worse than ever. Sure I'm introverted, but at this rate I'm practically going to become a hermit. My ability to function like a sane person is waning, and it's actually quite clear. It's makes me awe struck and horrified at the same time seeing how someone is so capable of self sabotage. Yeah, I don't think I was made for this world. Just one big mistake that hasn't been taken care of yet.

...

Oh, if you haven't listened to it already, you really should listen to Heroes by David Bowie. Please do, if you haven't yet. Just this one song.

...

[6/28/2018, 12:13 AM] Prathik: I love you.

[6/28/2018, 12:14 AM] Prathik: ^ I just felt like saying that.

...

You don't get it. I don't know for sure that you like talking to me. Yes, you've said so so many times that I've lost track. I'd be lying if I said that it were enough to convince me. It isn't; you can't do anything to change my perception of myself, and sometimes I'll project, being the idiot I am after all. There's never going to be a time when I can the voice that says you're you're just using me for some kicks or something to shut up. That doubt will never go, and every time you say something like that, I'll make sure to interpret it as evidence that even you don't care, that you just let your guard down. You can't ever really make me satisfied or happy, so don't throw away any more of your time actually trying to justify anything. If you know that what you've done is fine, then it's fine.

...

[6/12/2018, 8:51 PM] Prathik: Speaking of which, it's interesting that you brought up the fact that our relationship is dysfunctional. Not that I really addressed it well when you originally meantioned it. It does make me wonder, are the dynamics of the way we interact with each other actually healthy? Perhaps we're just fucking each other in the ass and not even realising it? While it's a possibility that I consider, you should know that I don't think the second one is too probable. All the same, it's bothersome enough to actually consider pondering over. Funny, though, how I've just turned a blind eye to it; best relationship you've had you say. Pretty much the same for me, I suppose that's why I've not considered anything that suggests contrary to that opinion.

You know, we never did our cliched apologies. I'm not sure what exactly to apologise for; however, I don't have any qualms admitting that I did fuck up. I'm not sure it makes any sense to apologise for going silent for a month. Honestly, while I did miss you, I'm not sure of how much I actually regret it. Heck, if I hadn't misunderstood your message and not responded... Moreover, what's the point of saying sorry for something I've done multiple times and might do again anyway? It probably does defeat the purpose of it. I do regret making you angry though. I'm not too proud of getting you pissed off, I honestly am sorry about that. That conversation just didn't go the way I'd have liked it to I guess...

[6/12/2018, 8:53 PM] Prathik: Also, is it just me or have things between us changed? I mean, the one month silence probably did more harm than good. It'd have probably been better had I never done anything, or had not stupidly misinterpreted what you said and stayed silent after all. I don't know, I'm not saying it has anything to do with you anyway. I know who's responsible if something is wrong after all.

[6/12/2018, 10:04 PM] Prathik: Oh, today I mixed NaOH with NH4Br, boiled it and inhaled it. I also had to do some speaking for a group activity in English, and I didn't really fuck it up at all or get shaky knees

Just saying. Anyway, which Tapasya acquaintances are you still in touch with?

[6/12/2018, 10:42 PM] Prathik: Oh look, they just killed off net neutrality in USA. Fucking Ajit Pai. As if he didn't have an incredibly punchable face to begin with.

...

[6/10/2018, 10:05 AM] Prathik: If you say so. Read at your own inconvenience.

Since I'm idiotic enough, I decided to read more of the dude's articles. Lost a ton of brain cells. Also, don't read the comments. Nutty, the lot of them.

[6/10/2018, 11:00 AM] Prathik: "The power of propaganda always surprises me. Only 30 years ago, homosexuality was almost universally condemned, and now it’s accepted in half the world and half the States. Clearly, the natural position worldwide is that homosexuality is a disorder, and should be condemned. The problem is, we lost the youth. Somehow, homosexual advocates were able to brainwash and indoctrinate them into accepting it. If you talk to anyone my age, they believe that homosexuality poses no health risks (homosexuals have a 5 times higher chance of getting HIV) and that they are born as homosexuals (despite no scientific evidence.) IMO this is a result of two things: homosexual propaganda (esp. through the internet) and the collapse of the traditional marriage model. The parents simply haven’t taught their children about Christianity and thus they are easy prey for the homosexual movement.

Honestly, I am very pessimistic and I feel that it’s only going to get worse as time goes on. More and more ‘Christians’ are accepting this behavior day by day and it’s heartbreaking."

Has to be the most ironic things I've ever read. Talks about propaganda and indoctrination, but completely turns a blind eye to how he's become what he is.

[6/10/2018, 6:29 PM] Prathik: And now, I've realised that I could have actually spent my time better by talking to you on the phone as you suggested. Not that I studied one bit as I planned to do.

...

[6/9/2018, 1:56 AM] Garima Joshi: Bye now, love you.

[6/9/2018, 1:57 AM] Prathik: Bye. Love you.

...

if I could really recover from the depressed, socially anxious, and suicidal person I am today, believe me I'd let you know immediately. I promise.

...

[3/20/2018, 3:01 AM] Garima Joshi: I know you said you were tired. Thanks for sticking around. Always great talking to you.

[3/20/2018, 3:02 AM] Prathik: It's always fun talking to you. So.. yeah. Do we say goodnight or goodmorning at this point?

[3/20/2018, 3:03 AM] Prathik: Yeah. Stay safe in Delhi will you? Bye.

[3/20/2018, 3:04 AM] Garima Joshi: I'll try, I'll try.

Have a good day (today)

Bye, love you.

[3/20/2018, 3:06 AM] Prathik: I thought you said cheesy stuff were grossing you out...

I'm sorry, did I sound a little overprotective?

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Garima Joshi: Okay Patrick I love you v much but I'll find you a wife tomorrow, for now you need those 2 hours 58 minutes of beauty sleep to rope in all those women

[3/20/2018, 3:13 AM] Prathik: Lulz. Fine. Love you too.

0 notes

nostalgicphile · 7 years

Note

Different anon here about Gillian/Scully. The fact that Gillian doesn't campaign to change Scully is nothing new, I believe. I usually watch the show & rarely the bts things so I can't be wrong but what was her opinion about the pregnancy and Scully as a mother? Or Scully giving William for adoption? David - I think - he had more input in his character but again I don't remember what was his contribution in the later seasons except having Diana be Mulder's ex & writing the script in which (conti

.. in which Scully gives up William. (I think FS had issues with that but David and Chris convinced him it was better for Mulder & Scully not to have a baby for the movies) and he refused to return for more s9 episodes because he felt the show is Mulder’s quest and he didn’t want Mulder to be an Obi- Wan type of character (I totally respect that) & he also wrote some shippy moments in s7. But other than that I don’t know how he feels about Mulder leaving Sculy & his baby or any of the other th

… or any of the other things. That’s why I don’t get it when people (shippers mostly) start petitions for David & Gillian to write episodes for s11, I’m not sure how in touch they are with the characters and the core of the characters and why people love them and identify with them. I’d rather CC, GM, DM, JW, VG (hopefully), HG, FS and the rest of the writers to write them. (Of course GA & DD had some great observations about the characters (I tend to agree with D’s comments on the DVDs for…

… especially for the early seasons very much -I love his input on Mulder in Memento Mori & much more but I’m not sure if I trust him to write an episode after “The 6th extinction” / “Amor Fati” & the messiah storyline he wrote. (sorry if you love these episodes but I prefer the more grounded mythology of Morgan & Wong & early Carter) PS. Maybe I’m the minority but I enjoyed s10 more than IWTB and I’m hopeful for s11 because I think the writers understood the criticism, but I miss Rob Bowman &

If people believe CC is a stubborn showrunner then they haven’t seen shows with stubborn showrunners. CC writes a certain way, that’s true but he is not the only writer and if you ask Vince Gilligan, or one of the Morgan brothers or James Wong they’ll tell you CC encourages his writers to bring their visions in, to tell their own stories, he doesn’t order a story and they write, they have freedom. James Wong talked about that last year and how it’s different from the way shows are written today.

********************

Hi anon. First, thank you for all your comments - I appreciate your input in the discussion. There is a lot to unpack here and, unfortunately, I have limited time; but I wanted to post your messages, so I’ll respond to what I can now….maybe others can offer their input too.

From what I recall, David used to chat casually with Chris about story ideas (I know Avatar was his and he has story credit on several other episodes) and sometimes he offered enough meat to get his name in there. David directed ‘William’ and also has a credit on the story, though I really can’t recall specifically who wanted to write William out. (It was such a horrible mistake, imo, I’d hate to put it on David without firm evidence to back it up.)

But to get to the meat of it: I personally don’t necessarily want David and Gillian to write for this next stack - especially since when they do write, they want to direct, and that could mean shortchanging their presence in the episode (s). I personally would rather see them on the screen, together, whenever possible. I also don’t expect David and Gillian to “fix” all that is wrong with TXF. I guess I just want them to lose some of their seeming apathy towards their characters. Whenever anyone questions them about their characters, they either:

- don’t know (see David’s response at a con very shortly after filming S10….he seemed to have little idea what was happening with the MSR);

- don’t care (”Chris knows what he’s doing. We trust him.”)

- don’t seem to regard fan or media concerns about the show/movie quality with any merit (”IWTB didn’t do well and killed the whole movie franchise? That was because of The Dark Knight.”)

David and Gillian are smart people who are so active in the production of their other shows (Cali, The Fall). Yet, when it comes to TXF, it’s like they’ve totally given up. They don’t seem to really understand why people like it and, at times, they don’t even seem to be fans of their own show. They are just like, “I trust Chris, we show up and do our jobs.” I also strongly believe hardcore fans have lost credibility because we did so much whining in the ‘90s…now that there really are strong issues with the show, they view us as impossible to please.

I guess I find it hard to believe that, given that TXF cannot happen without them:

- David and Gillian can’t influence the show quality i.e., script approval;

- they don’t demand any answers as to where the story is going, what is happening with their characters, and how the FINAL season ever is going to end;

- that, after playing these people for so many years, that they are so ill-equipped to offer any input into their characters.

As for Chris’s style and the freedom he gives writers: with that freedom, there are huge discrepancies in character presentation and development. Do the Mulder and Scully in MASMTWM even remotely resemble the people we see in Home Again? There is zero consistency in how they are written. So, yay for writer freedom, but too bad for people looking for characters they recognize.

Maybe it’s selfish of me to want more. Maybe it’s too much to ask for David and Gillian to act as a form of checks and balances. Maybe I’m just a tired, cranky old fan. ;)

11 notes · View notes