#911 5x12

[just-a-queer-crow]

911 ep 5x12 Boston I am coming for u

#sobbing on the floor eating cardboard gnawing on wall insulation #U KNOW WHAT REALLY GOT ME #Maddie singing to jee-yun and then her IMMEDIATELY going ‘mama!’ #IMMEDIATE TEARS #im going to throw myself off a bridge #/j #911 abc #911 show #911 #911 fox #maddie buckley #911 5x12 #chimney han #howard han #howard chimney han #jee yun buckley han

[she-ismysun-archive]

911 abc/fox live blogging

oh it's so over dude.. the angst is never ending!!! hello new faces for the 118. Eddie's now gonna go through what buck went through when Bobby thought he wasn't ready to come back. UHG. something something about buddie being self destructive as fuckkk

Further below for my live thoughts

So this was the episode i accidentally started when i was still in season 3. Me when i was sleepy and just trying to restart episodes but clicked on season 5 and not season 3 so i ended up watching the first 1-2 min of each episode after the Christmas special to figure out where i left off and it wasnt until i watched maddy throwing herself in the ocean was when i realized (oh something is WRONG)

OH SHES NOT HAVING POST PARTUM DEPRESSION. OVERACTIVE THRYOID.

I was so so scared but also relieved seeing her admit herself into the hospital

HELLO? JJ?? WYD HERE IN 911

Remember when chimney was like “yeah and my little girl is having milestones in motels”

AWWW jee has huge baby teeth now

OH HOWTHEY COME BACK TOGETHER BY COINCIDENCE ON ST PATTYS DAY

Learning how to stop running. Oh how many tears can I cry this episode. Ouuuaaaaaaaaagh. Her pouring her heart back out to him. They’re perfect together and im so happy they’re finally fucking talking

Chimney is everything to me

HHHH SHE D: Missed all of D: jee-yun’s development D:

We are going HOME!

#911 #911 abc #911 fox #911 5x12 #evan buckley #maddie's back #maddie buckley #madney #eddie diaz #chimney han #the return of maddie and chimney #lucy donato #jonah

[princessfbi]

My darlings. I am begging you. Maddie is one of my favorites. I love her. Every time I see her face I get so happy. But please tag the gif sets that actively shows that one scene in “Boston”.

#maddie buckley #911 on fox #911 s5e12 #911 fox #911 5x12 #trigger warnings #TW: suicide #911edit #madney #Boston #chimney han

[queenjenniferlove]

Maddie Buckley in Boston 

#Jennifer Love Hewitt #jlhewittedit #911 #911edit #Maddie Buckley #maddiebuckleyedit #911 s5 #911 5x12 #911 gifs #911women #tvedit #dailytvwomen #filmtvcentral #tvarchive #cinematv #femalescharacters #femalesource #femalegifsource #femaledaily #tvfilmcentral #tvfilmsource #agelesswomen #ebbgifs #gifs #alexswork #in order to tell you my story I have to tell queue theirs

[wikiangela]

I'm free in salt water (embrace the deep end, leave everything)

tw suicide mention/attempt, 5x12 'Boston', angst

I wrote this over a year ago, a couple of days after "Boston" aired, while sitting in my creative writing class and I feel like I could write it better now but I didn't wanna mess with it haha Also, a huge thank you to @thebravebitch, you said it's good and it gave me enough validation and motivation to finally post it lmao 😂❤️

words: 612

[read on Ao3]

***

Tears were falling down her face as she sat on the beach, blankly looking at the ocean, waves crashing against the sand. She observed the angry water, thinking back to that day, to that still bathtub water, under which her daughter almost drowned. All because she couldn’t be trusted to care for a baby. It was all her fault. 

The mere reminder of that only assured her that the decision, which she’d already made when she dropped Jee-Yun off at the firehouse, was the right one.

Sobbing, Maddie got up and, fully clothed, stepped into the ocean. Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful.

She thought about her ex-husband, and all the times he made her wish she was dead. He wasn’t around anymore, but everything he said and did to her was still haunting her. As was the moment she killed him, his blood spilling over the snow. She’d been bleeding, too, beaten up and broken. But she freed herself from him. She just didn’t know he’d still be stuck with her after so much time passed. Maybe not enough. Maybe she’d never be truly free. 

In light of what happened recently, his words echoed in her head. She was worthless, hopeless, useless… At the moment she wished he had beaten her to death, it would be much better for everyone. She wasn’t capable of being a mother. She was capable of killing someone, though. And now she almost killed her own daughter. She should be the person protecting her from harm, not inflicting it. It might have been an accident, but such accidents were not supposed to happen. What mother can just fall asleep while giving their baby a bath? A bad one, for sure. So, Maddie needed to get away. Jee wasn’t safe with her. 

Water submerged her completely, taking away her breath. Is that what her child felt when she slipped under the water in the bathtub? Of course, she was fine, the doctor said she was fine, but for those few seconds… For those few seconds she was drowning. It was only fitting that Maddie went away that way. And her kid, her sweet, beautiful Jee-Yun, would finally be safe with her dad. 

That’s why she left Jee in the firehouse. Howie would get back from a call, get her home, and take good care of her. He was a good dad, and a good paramedic, if anything were to happen again, God forbid. He was going to hate Maddie. Jee was too little to remember her, but Howie… Howie was going to hate her.

Memories of her little brother, of Howie and Jee, of her ex, flashed behind her eyes, as the waves slowly carried her back to the shore, despite her best efforts to prevent that. 

Soon, she sat in the shallow water, coughing and crying, her wet clothes clinging to her skin. Maybe she should take it as a sign. Maybe dying wasn’t what she needed to do to keep her kid safe. Maybe she should just stay away. And get help. She definitely needed help. 

It was that moment, breaking down at the beach, after another failed suicide attempt, that she decided. She was going to leave LA, and go back to Boston, to the hospital she trained at to be a nurse, somewhere familiar. If she ever wanted to see her daughter again, she needed to get help and get better. For Jee, for Howie, for herself.

____

Tag list (if you want to be added pls interact with this post): @idealuk @thebravebitch @this-is-moony-lovegood @greenfairrryy

#maddie buckley #maddie buckley fic #911 fic #tw suicide mention #tw suicidal thoughts #my writing #wikiangela writes #911 5x12 #911 boston #maddie x chimney #madney #(mentioned) #ficlet #short one shot #old fanfic

[the-gayest-wug]

Fuck I forgot how much 5x12 made me cry. Love chimney and Maddie so much oh my god

#911 #911 5x12 #Kenneth Choi you are so talented #Jennifer love Hewitt you portrayed the depression very well baby

[silvergraham]

i'm just... astonished that maddie's s5 storyline even exists... like. boston is an episode that happened. a real episode. IT'S A REAL EPISODE. we really saw her go through all that. we saw her struggle and be suicidal and trip and fall on the road to recovery. we saw her run away and deal with her mental health and she's not demonized for any of it. what the fuck. how does that episode even exists?? i SEVERELY underestimated 911 as a show.

plus i cannot for the life of me forget about that part when she's talking about her mother... how margaret used to plainly state in front of her children that she wanted to kill herself... my heart breaks for what maddie had to carry on her shoulders since her childhood

#maddie buckley #911 on fox #tw suicidal thoughts mention #911 5x12

[livelovecaliforniadreams]

The Rookie 5x12 | 9-1-1 7x2

#911 abc #same energy #poetic cinema #cinematic parallels #buddie #chenford #buck x eddie #eddie x buck #evan buckley #eddie diaz #the rookie #ryan guzman #oliver stark #eric winter #melissa oneil #love #5x12 #7x2 #tim x lucy

[911bts]

- Jennifer Love Hewitt on the bench scene in "Boston" (x)

#911 fox #911edit #jennifer love hewitt #madney #commentary gif sets #maddie buckley #chimney han #s5 #5x12

[passthe5sauceplease]

is it normal for my favorite 911 episodes to be 5x12 and 5x13

#eddie diaz #maddie buckley #5x12 #5x13 #911 show #911 abc #this means im mentally stable

[captain-hen]

5B just doesn't have a single miss

#the holy trinity of 5x11/5x12/5x13 my beloved #neethu rewatches 911

[she-ismysun-archive]

Remember last night when i was like “they’re so perfect together I’m so happy they’re talking again” and now it’s the next episode and they’re telling us they broke up :|

#911 abc #911 fox #911 5x12 #maddie buckley #chimney han #madney

[lesliesknopes]

Happy one year to Maddie and Chimney reuniting. Time to do a little rewatch of Boston tonight 😌.

#madney #911 fox #5x12

[crowdemon-boyo]

not to be dramatic but if athena’s dad killed that girl it will make up for the criminal minds writers making reid’s dad innocent in 4x07

#posts that are incomprehensible to everyone but me #i’m still not over this like. the writers failed hARD on that one it really feels like they chickened out half way through #reid’s dad was moving sO SUS #and then 5x12 is so weirdly out of character and feels like whoever wrote it never finished watching 4x07??? #like why wasn’t morgan more featured???? racism prolly idk #anyway. it’s fine it’s not like i sound like an absolute psychopath when i say i wish 4x07 just fuckin committed #i’m fine this is fine #i am. having many thoughts #911 fox #criminal minds

[wikiangela]

Day 47 - April 30th, 2023 from a short new/old Maddie in "Boston" fic - I wrote it over a year ago while sitting in class, a couple of days after 5x12 aired, but I'm finally posting tonight!

edit: it's posted

Cold water was splattering against her, as she kept walking, fighting against the waves that tried to push her out. She was determined. It wasn’t her first attempt at killing herself, but it would be the first time she would be successful.

#lineaday #maddie buckley #maddie buckley fic #911 fic #tw suicide mention #tw suicidal thoughts #my writing #wikiangela writes #fic snippet #fic sneak peek #911 5x12 #911 boston #missed a day yesterday but shh doesn't matter lol

[mattoidmeerkat]

Happy Father's Day to the dads of 911!

#9-1-1 #911 #Bobby Nash #Eddie Diaz #Michael Grant #David Hale #Howard 'Chimney' Han #Father's Day #1x05 #2x03 #2x07 #3x17 #4x13 #5x12