#And now they're gone

[mousegirlheart]

never not gonna be mad about the push to abandon plastic straws and cutlery. "oh but it's better for the enviroment" it's also ableist.

#used to be super heavy in depression so bad i couldnt self care #high quality plastic forks were my saviours since i didnt have to clean them #its what made sure i ate that day #and now they're gone #there's only wood

[sunpumpkins]

playing tears of the kingdom and I miss the champions so much! :(

#I got into such a habit of thanking Mipha and Revali #And now they're gone #Feeling the same loss as Link #Legend of zelda #Tears of the kingdom #Loz totk #pricey's lifey

[pankomako]

im sitting outside and there's like this whole CROWD of birds just chirping away. i swear they CANT all be the same species over there

#and now they're gone

[delusionaid]

@basbousah sent: "Was it my fault?" (Kaveh)

Normally it's not hard to guess what Kaveh is talking about even when his speech is slurred and his logic questionable. Whenever it happens that he does fail to give sufficient information Alhaitham usually only has to wait a little while before he adds more to it to make his case. Tonight he doesn't have to wait that long. Confused at first, he looks up from his book to find Kaveh sitting at the table, staring at a bottle in front of him that he may or may not have emptied by now. It's hard to guess his stage of drunkenness but when he came home from archon knows where less than twenty minutes ago he seemed more or less of sound mind.

Was it my fault?

For a moment Alhaitham thinks Kaveh is speaking of his father. It's the first thing that comes to his mind, perhaps the deepest of cuts in Kaveh's heart that he knows of; but he's spoken of it before and as far as Alhaitham can tell he's somewhat come to terms with it. No. This, he realizes, is about them. It's the kind of question that tries to prompt a fast answer, which isn't something Alhaitham can provide. He remains silent for a while, longer than Kaveh might want him to, sorting his thoughts on the matter; a matter that's kept his mind occupied for many nights and days but never was brought up between them since then.

They were close, closer than he'd ever been with anyone outside his family, closer certainly than they are now. Not many things felt comfortable back then but for some reason Kaveh broke through all of it. Kaveh persisted, despite their glaring differences in personalities, by simply refusing to see the barriers Alhaitham imagined around himself and failed to communicate effectively. And it worked. For a while it worked well and Kaveh began to feel.. comfortable.

Until they got too close and everything moved too fast for Alhaitham to catch up.

Yes. It was Kaveh's fault. His fault for trusting and using the closeness between them to get closer. His fault for kissing Alhaitham and not giving him the time to process his response to it. His fault for misinterpreting Alhaitham not pushing him away as acceptance, agreement, as invitation to stay close and change what they had into something else entirely, disregarding the value it had for him just the way it was. His fault to assume that just because Alhaitham didn't say no to this version of them it implied an ability and willingness to take on the entirety of his emotional burden and then blaming him when he realized that was not the case.

His fault for not understanding that Alhaitham does not feel in the same way he does, even if the same desire sits at the core of both their hearts.

"Yes," Alhaitham says after far too many moments, the book he was reading still lying open in his lap, abandoned.

They both lost something back then but to blame it all on Kaveh would simply be incorrect.

It was Alhaitham's fault for letting it happen the way it did and not being able to respond to it faster. His fault for being unwilling to shoulder more of Kaveh's sadness and need to feel less alone in the world; his fault for accepting so easily that he was unable to. His fault for seeing the whole spectrum of things he could have said and choosing only the easy answers to Kaveh's endless questions.

Why are you like this? Do you not care at all? Is that all you have to say?

His fault for focusing on the only thing that felt clear and controllable between them and believing that postponing facing the uncomfortable to a later time would work for Kaveh the same way as it worked for him. His fault for believing that Kaveh would stay with him regardless.

His fault for letting Kaveh walk away without saying a word of it.

"And mine."

#basbousah #m. basbousah #( m: alhaitham. ) #( alhaitham: basbousah. ) #(ic asks. ) #( meme reply. ) #bro it deleted your memes #i didn't touch them when you moved blogs #and now they're gone #>:( #but i remember this one at least

[clownsgobeepbeep]

Just versed a Wraith in RPD and they went from hella scary to very nice after someone DC’ed (we played hide and seek) and I tried friending them but they said they’d friend me instead(’cause they didn’t give that option) but either I fucked up or they didn’t friend me and I’m so sad either way 

#my fave wraith of all time #and now they're GONE #they were literally named the wraith #i am so devastated #they made my night and now- #;7; #dbd #somebody help me find them-

[v-tired-queer]

MY CROCHET OCTOPUS FELL OFF ON MY KEYCHAIN AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE THEY ARE THIS DAY FREAKING SUCKS 😭💔😭💔😭💔

#LITTLE BUDDY WAS A GIFT #AND NOW THEY'RE GONE #AND OF FREAKING COURSE I HAD TO DOSCOVER THIS AT WORK #THEY COULD BE ANYWHERE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN CITY #heart broken #heart break #pain #anguish #i want them back #😭💔 #plushie #keychain #keychain plushie #crochet #octopus #please let them just be at home 🥺😭💔

[maitanii]

My mom gave away my converse, I'm —

#THEY WERE MY BABIES #no but fr they were my first pair #i asked for them during years #and now they're gone #:( #—martha talks

[princekendallroy]

gathered to courage to read greywaren and now that I finished it I feel so... empty and nostalgic already

#you dont understand #these characters are my family #trc is my favorite book series the one that makes me the most nostalgic about the past #and now they're gone #my love ronan my boy I will miss you so much #well... time to re read everything! #ive lost count of how many times ive read the raven cycle #but I haven re read the dreamer trilogy yet #and I finished the books in the span of three days each so I need to read them again slowly now

[kirkwallsquad]

why is it that when i finally decide to go to this con..... tickets are sold out

#i couldn't even BUY them now i have to wait until i get paid on the 20th #and now they're gone #:)))) #im definitely normal about this and not abt to have a breakdown #max.txt

[qiinamii]

we'll do fine.

#fionna and cake spoilers #what hits me a little is how similar fionna and simon's stories are in the case of finding nuance in their lives #when both have gone through their separate but still valid pain no matter the extent it had been #and its that they met each other they get to see how it compares and they're no less worth of the peace and fun they dreamed of #even in the form of simplicity and just being normal #“i wouldn't have met THE fionna and cake” “we wouldn't have met THE simon petrikov” #it hits me harder that after the dandelion scene would've been their last time seeing each other physically #and how assuring simon sounded when fionna didn't know what to do with the literal world in her hands #tho im sure prismo isnt that much of a rule jerk lol i still drew out the revelation anyway with this tiniest addition #also the fact fionna's world is influenced by simon's thought processes and conditions so now things are a little better for both of them #fionna the human #fionna campbell #simon petrikov #qiiarts #the lil flashback of #betty grof #fionna and cake #adventure time

[darker-than-darkstorm]

... I miss the boops.

#sigh #I didn't think I'd miss them #I thought they were kinda stupid at first #Then an hour before they vanished I started getting really into it #And now they're gone #boop #super boop #evil boop

[allright]

came back wrong trope but the character knows that they came back wrong. they’re so acutely aware of how different they are now from how they were before that it drives them fucking insane. they’re stuck trying to return to somebody that’s long dead. they can never be the person they once were. everybody around them knows it. deep down, they know it too, but they’re trapped in a cycle of their own making. of trying to revive someone that no longer exists.

#i am just obsessed w the idea of someone being revived that so badly wants to be the person they used to be but that person is dead. #they're dead and gone and now all that is left is the person they are now who is fucked up from being revived !!!! #it drives them to madness <3 #also whenever i think of the came back wrong trope i think of jason todd #classic came back wrong (or different at least) trope #all.right

[whovianfloozy]

I really miss my frogs. Come back my darling ones!

#they finally give us something excellent #and now they're gone #le sigh

[cesium-sheep]

are you fucking kidding me.

I went out to get the mail because I knew I had a package from hollyrose (which I will wait until tomorrow to open so I can appreciate it better), and I obviously hadn’t really. seen outside of our apartment for a couple days. cuz I was in bed.

and there had been some noisy landscaping while I was in bed yesterday but I didn’t think much of it, maybe they were giving the bushes by our window the same hackjob they gave the trees earlier yknow.

so I go outside to get the mail.

the bushes outside our windows are. completely gone. bare earth.

the bushes along the sidewalk by the gate are gone. the bushes along the sidewalk by the mail gate are gone. the roses by the mail boxes are gone. (the gates are still broken btw but they had budget to remove all the fuckin bushes apparently.)

except for the flowers planted by the property sign and two scrubby olive lookin motherfuckers, the beds have been stripped completely bare.

apartments are a FUCKING NIGHTMARE. I cannot live in another fucking apartment again at this point. I am so tired of them randomly changing whatever whenever, communicating abysmally, leaving repairs undone, leaving work in-progress interminably, the last time this happened it was like “well we were in this apartment for 3 years it makes sense they’d change stuff eventually” but we’ve been here for 8 motherfucking months and this is at least the 4th time this specific genre of bullshit has been an issue. (the windows taped for painting for weeks, the ac broken for weeks, the trees just recently, and now this. and Now This.)

not to mention all the other goddamn bullshit of living in an apartment like neighbors stomping above our heads, music so loud it shakes the dishes, delivery people constantly confused and scared and unable to Actually Deliver To Our Door (meaning I can only reliably get shipping deliveries from some couriers, any grocery or restaurant food or the like requires someone able to fetch, and even then the less reliable couriers may either give us other people’s packages or give our packages to other people), impossible to make useful changes like replacing the windows with ones that aren’t 60 years old or replacing the furnace with one that doesn’t make my body try to kill itself, and so on.

I hate it here.

#long post #in 2 months we will know where we're going. #even if we're staying here we only have to stay in an apartment until a house we like opens up in the mountains. #and once matt finds a job wherever we're going he'll move in with us. #and with both their incomes we can rent a house anywhere on the interview list. #I'm so fed up with fucking apartments though. #like at least at the apartment before last I could kind of sympathize with the quantity of changes to be made. #even though it also made me despise living there. #but here? #you're just making a mess for no reason. #you stripped the beds BARE. #you left the windows taped for WEEKS. #none of that is necessary. #the plants were fine! #they weren't diseased or scrungy or anything! #and now they're GONE

[prince-of-the-moths]

The thing I miss most in life post surgery is tomatoes. After having bleeding duodenal ulcers, you can't have a lot of foods with a high acid content - the entire citrus family, for instance, or coffee - but I miss tomatoes because that stuff tasted amazing and whenever I see recipe ideas on here with tomatoes I just feel an intense longing.

#personal rant #cw food #tomatoes my beloved #i didn't appreciate them while they were here in my life #and now they're gone

[ionomycin]

mermay

#artists on tumblr #may has gone so incredibly fast #it literally just started and now it's almost over #i'll be going to finland to visit my mom and friend again in june #just in time for pride week #it's been really nice in helsinki the past few years #i hope it goes safely and peacefully this year too #last year there were some protestors screaming mean things with their hateful signs #but that's to be expected #it's hard to feel insulted when they're the ones wasting their time screaming at strangers #instead of doing something positive #must be a sad life being so angry all the time