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thankeywa · 1 year

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Star-Crossed pt.4/? | Lo'ak x human!fem!reader (NSFW)

Warnings: once again, both Lo'ak and the reader are 20y/o, , MINORS DO NOT INTERACT with this or anything on my accounts. NSFW!!! this is the smut chapter. Nothing else. you can still skip this without losing any plot of the story.

words: 2.3k

summary: the reader is a human left behind on pandora, she grew up with the remaining humans who'd been allowed to stay on the planet after the war and has been friends with the Sully clan her entire life. She and Lo'ak were best friends until he began to pull away from her in their teen years for seemingly no reason. This story is about them reconnecting on the day of her twentieth birthday, and dealing with the feelings they have for each other and the obstacles that come with them being from two different worlds.

part 1 part 2 part 3

tag list: @aleromania , @ghostjoohoney, @cherry-blossom34, @stephenandfiveswhore , @neteyamforlife, @mochi-yu , @halibanana @notquitehero @vanillacoffeeaddict @kitsune0077 @mara-brekker @sully-stick-together @luthien-naenderthal @phantomalex14 @vanillawhale @omiivr @barbii04 @grierpilots @itszzmoon @wavyteals @punkrockrogers @fanboyluvr @Iwesodra @roguesimagination @kathrynlupin @anxietydrogz @b0rednb1tchy @xkaykay

Lo'ak was aware of the 'fight or flight' response that was said to be experienced by humans and other animals on Earth. Grace, Kiri's biological mother, had written entire journals about how, amazingly, Pandora's inhabitants went through something slightly different . It seemed that the entirety of the 'flora' and 'fauna' of Pandora was so interconnected, a prey knew whether it was time to run to live another day or give in and die, and predators also could sense whether or not a life should be spared once in a while. It was all to due with the balance of life, that Eywa so dutifully protected.

That didn't mean that the non-Na'vi dwellers of the planet did not feel fear or a basic strive for survival. Simply, that Eywa would sometimes intervene to give the two parties a way to reach an understanding.

Lo'ak was more than certain his human side was keeping him in a state of paralysis at that moment. But he didn't think that being intimate with his human better half was the sort of situation Eywa could give him insight on.

Nothing could have prepared him for this moment. He'd never even once considered the possibility that y/n reciprocated his feelings. Over the years he'd done his best to steer clear of any sort of... compromising thoughts he may have had of her — though he wasn't always successful.

Fortunately, she'd always seemed to prefer to wear significantly more clothes than Spider, but that had also left Lo'ak with a seemingly infinite number of questions.

"It's okay if you've changed your mind, Lo'ak..." y/n said softly, snapping him out of his reverie. She covered her chest and turned to look for her shirt again, suddenly feeling rather self conscious about the way she looked. She'd taken Lo'ak's silence and stillness as rejection.

The Na'vi quickly chased her lips for another kiss, whispering a thousand apologies to her in his native language. She was the most beautiful thing he'd ever seen. How could she not see it herself?

Lo'ak tentatively let one of his large hands leave y/n's cheek. It caressed her flushed neck, the dip of her shoulder until it finally came to cup the weight of her breast. Y/n could still feel him hesitate with every step, even shaking a little from how much he was afraid of hurting her. "Like this..." She guided Lo'ak's fingers, showing him all the different ways he could tease and tug at her nipple. "D-doesn't... doesn't that hurt?" Lo'ak attempted to recreate the motion on her other breast, now playing with both.

Y/n shook her head, desperately getting rid of the rest of her clothes so she could take care of the throbbing ache between her legs. Lo'ak had gotten surprisingly good at fondling her breasts in record time, and she wanted to show him exactly what he was doing to her. In between the middle of moaning his name and taking care of her aching cunt, she got a glimpse of the almost feral way he was staring down at her.

Lo'ak was drinking in every single detail of y/n's tiny body, dwarfed even more now that she was writhing in his lap. The second he saw her glistening pussy, an almost shameful wave of jealousy overcame him. He wanted to be the only one to ever see y/n that way, to get to pet her sweet little cunt. It was all his, and y/n could read it in his extremely dilated pupils.

"Everything okay, yawne?" Y/n panted sweetly, searching for another kiss. "You know I like it when you talk to me..." Lo'ak immediately showered her with more kisses, hating himself for stalling yet again. "No--yes... you just... you have a very pretty... syulang..." He said, his ears bending down in embarrassment. It took y/n a few beats to understand what Lo'ak meant by 'flower', and her cheeks felt quite warm at the realisation.

"I mean... all of you is... perfect. You're perfect." Lo'ak said with slightly more determination in his voice, hoisting y/n up in his arms so he could leave a kiss above where her heart was beating rapidly in her chest. She let out a keening sound when he took her left nipple in his mouth, still incredibly attent to being as gentle as he could. Y/n let him take his time exploring her, and Lo'ak worshipped her body until she was a trembling, moaning mess in his arms.

Y/n wanted to do the same. She wanted to run her hands over every single part of him. But it was kind of difficult when Lo'ak had her laid out on her back while he kissed and licked his way between her folds, seemingly unaware that he was going at a torturously slow place. Y/n begged and whined, but she was too far gone to even know what she was asking for anymore. Meanwhile, Lo'ak was completely intoxicated by her taste, keeping one of his large hands on her stomach so she wouldn't jump while he used his tongue to toy with her clit, always making sure to not as much as graze her with his teeth.

"Lo'ak, please..." Y/n let out a small sob, and Lo'ak looked up, sheepishly pulling away from the literal paradise he'd discovered between her thighs. "Did I hurt you?" He asked, but she furiously shook her head. "No... not that, yawne. Just, please... want to touch you..." It didn't matter that she'd been edged for so long, she suddenly didn't know how to ask Lo'ak to use his fingers. Or something more, which he wouldn't do anyway.

"But I like making you feel good..." Lo'ak didn't know how to say he'd been painfully hard and leaking just from eating her out, but now that y/n was sitting back up, there was no way she couldn't see his arousal. His loincloth was doing a rather poor job of hiding how much he wanted her. "I can't get enough of the way you taste..." He said in a shaky breath, cupping y/n's sex to feel the wetness there. She instinctively squeezed her thighs around his hand and he understood.

Lo'ak knew y/n used her fingers to play with herself, but his own were considerably larger and longer. How could she possibly take them inside of her? "Please, yawne, I need you..." She coaxed him to relax once again with her words, getting rid of the last clothes that were separating them. Y/n took in the sight of Lo'ak's large cock standing proudly, and curiously began to touch him with both hands.

Then sight of y/n's smaller hands tentatively trying to work his erection almost made Lo'ak go cross-eyed. "W-what are you..." He cursed, burying his head in y/n's neck when she began to play with his head, using her thumb to put the exact right amount of pressure as she teased the sensitive tip in quick circles.

Y/n bit her lip and giggled at the deep purring sound that came out of him. Almost as if to get back at her, Lo'ak slid one of his fingers deep inside of her, following the warm curves of her inner walls. Only when y/n let out a loud moan of relief, did he fully realise what he was doing. "Fuck, Lo'ak--" She reprimanded him softly for giving her no warning, but quickly began to rut herself down onto his digit, finding a rhythm at was good for her while squeezing down on the base of his shaft with both her hands. The pressure almost made Lo'ak see nothing but white.

What had he been so afraid of? The two of them were clearly attuned to each other's needs, and he never wanted to stop giving y/n pleasure like the one he could hear in her voice at that moment. Lo'ak began to curl his finger inside of y/n, before tentatively pumping it in and out of her while she held onto his neck for dear life.

It didn't take him long to understand where most of her pleasure was coming from, so he took matters into his own hands. Literally.

"N-no, no..." She whined when he took his finger out, but he kissed her, silently telling her not to worry. Lo'ak got them back in their original position, with him lying on his back and y/n sprawled out across his stomach. He ran his hand down her spine, and she lifted her hips up a little when she understood, letting him hook his fingers into her cunt from behind while he kept a firm grip on her ass.

Fingers. Because she was now taking two of them. And beautifully too, if Lo'ak had anything to say about it. He'd never seen her so completely lost in herself; and there she was now, giving in to the white heat of the fire he could feel inside of her. It was almost too much. Every desperate cry, every languid rotation of her hips, every scratch she left on his body, wanted to make him take y/n for himself. He wanted to see if she could sing just as beautifully while bouncing on his cock. But he knew exactly how dangerous those thoughts were.

He held y/n impossibly closer to him and pumped in a third finger along with the rest. Y/n's face contorted in something Lo'ak could not explain, but before he could stop himself, she was stilling in his arms. Her walls clamped down on his fingers, gushing around them. Y/n's body went as still as a rock as she tried to ground herself through her orgasm, suddenly feeling very cold and high on adrenaline at the same time. She needed Lo'ak to hold her tight.

The last thing she would have ever expected was for her lover to give out a horrified wail that she herself felt tear through his chest.

Y/n was bleeding. He'd made her bleed. "I hurt you." He panted, unable to look away from the blood on his fingers. "I knew it, I should never have-- "

"Yawne, calm down." Y/n tried to reassure him, touching his face gently. "I did not hurt me, I didn't even realize..."She sighed, feeling guilty for not having warned him sooner. "It's completely normal."

"Normal?" Lo'ak asked, bewildered. "You are bleeding." How could he have thought for a single second he could have trusted himself to hold y/n without causing her harm?

"It can happen sometimes to humans... more often than not during their first time... "She explained. "Something inside me just ripped, is all. It burns a little now, but you were making me feel so good I barely even felt the pain..." The thought of three of Lo'ak's fingers being more than enough to break her hymen made the possibility of taking his cock slightly more daunting than she'd previously imagined. But that didn't mean y/n no longer wanted him with every fiber of her being. "It won't happen again, if that makes you feel any better..."

Lo'ak pulled her close and kissed her. "You are so strong." He whispered, thinking about how lucky he was to have someone who had so willingly given themselves to him. Who trusted him with every part of their being. He hoisted y/n in his arms and took her to the bathroom, cleaning them both off with warm water and a soft towel. Even after all those years, he still remembered where everything was in her home.

As he did so, he knelt down in the small room that was clearly not built to accommodate someone of his stature and began to leave delicate kisses over y/n's mound and between her folds. It was his way of apologizing for the discomfort he'd caused her. "Are you trying to 'kiss it better'?" She giggled softly, running her hands through his braids. "Lo'ak, I promise you I'm okay..."

"Yes..." Lo'ak answered her question. "But I also just love kissing you here..." He admitted, looking up at y/n with nothing but reverence in his eyes.

It was hard to keep their hands off of each other for the rest of the night. Y/n desperately wanted to worship Lo'ak's body in the same way he'd done with her, and she wasn't going to rest until he finally let go and let someone else take care of him for once.

After a passionate make-out session against her bathroom sink, they'd stumbled back into the warmth of their bed and Lo'ak was once again aching for her. Y/n took in every single one of his reactions as her hands worked their magic over his cock: his grunts, his soft growls, his furrowed brow, and his hooded lids. Although nothing got to her quite in the same way as when he would bare his teeth, giving her a little glimpse of his sharp canines. Lo'ak was incredibly vulnerable at that moment, and he was all hers.

"Fuck, fuck y/n... " He unwillingly bucked his hips into her touch, almost throwing y/n off him by accident. "Oh shit--- sorry baby, come back here." Lo'ak reached for her and manhandled her back into his lap, unable to bite back a smile when she laughed a little. He enveloped himself around her completely, making sure the incident wouldn't happen a second time, as y/n brought him closer and closer to the edge.

Lo'ak exploded between them without much of a warning, surprising y/n with the heaviness of his load. She let out a soft moan as most of it painted her stomach, working Lo'ak's cock with her hand until he'd given her every last drop. The Na'vi was ready to apologize, embarrassed even in a state of afterglow, when he saw her bring her own finger to her lips to get a taste of his essence.

Lo'ak felt unable to breathe as he took in the debauched sight of y/n, her belly and lips covered with his seed while she looked up at him innocently.

It was going to be a long night.

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teatreeoill · 6 months

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|| Beg (Ryomen Sukuna X Reader) ||

Short one in which Reader desperately tries to find Yuji in Shibuya, but finds someone else instead. This is the first smut I have a ever written, but Suskuna was so fine last episode I decided to give it a shot.

Warning: MDNI, 18+, Language, Smut ,Choking, Rough Sex, Dom!Sukuna

"Yuji!" Your voice echoed back from the walls, the shouting had left a dryness in your mouth, where the hell did he go? Where the hell did everyone go? "YU-JI!" another scream followed by nothing, did Inumaki point you in the wrong direction? Another turn, another pair of stairs, no sign of anything even remotley alive - just a lingering, sharp smell of curses.

Oh, there they are. Voices. Quite near, just a few more turns.

A familiar figure appears from a near hallway, you take a shaky breath to sprint lightly to the direction he's going. "Yuji! There you are, fuck! I thought something happened to you!" You put a hand on his shoulder, trying to push his body back to turn to you, but it won't budge. He looks back, and just the slight turn of his head is enough to see the black tattoos covering his face. His expression changes lightly, his brows curl upwards, "Poor thing, can't find what you're looking for?" Your mouth hanged agape, the pressure in your chest felt like air being punched out of your lungs. Everyone knew Yuji was Sukuna's vessel, but on his bright eyes and wide smile you couldn't really tell there was someone else, someone so terrifying inside of him. You wouldn't believe it unless it was all everyone talked about since the moment he first stepped foot at Jujutsu High. "Yu-" What good would it do to call his name? "Su-" Definitely no point at calling his name. Your gaze had risen to the ceiling. You never liked fluorescent lights. What a shitty, gray hallway. Is it really going to be the last thing you see?

"I remember you." Sukuna's voice was so different from Yuji's, a deep, commanding tone you had never thought to hear from the body of a boy who you watched eat blue candy and stick his tongue out for you to see how its color changed. "I - don't think we've met before" A full sentence felt like an accomplishment, your knees grazed the floor before you knew it - you weren't sure if it was some power he emitted or your legs had given away to fear.

Sukuna seemed amused, at least by the slight upturn of one corner of his mouth. "Oh Yuji, what do you think Sukuna's doing now? Do you think Sukuna would like it? Do you think he's listening?" A sarcastic tone had tried to mimic phrases you said to Yuji, you haven't even noticed how much you've pestered Yuji on this subject right until that moment. Some of the sorcerers had intriguing techniques, but Sukuna's vessel? There were so many things to ask, although it had seemed the time for questions was running out. "I guess he really was listening," You mutter, hardly the time for a snarky comment, although there's a limit to how snarky one could be from their knees. It was hard to imagine Itadori Yuji as a prison, but for Sukuna he was just that. Each day felt longer than the one before it, it seemed to him Yuji's body was only busy consuming the worst media and having the most pointless conversations, and had only been less of a nuisance to endure when it had listened to you talk about him. Oh Yuji, what do you think Sukuna's doing now? He'd sigh of relief, at the very least one of those sorcerers had seemed to remember the important things.

Sukuna took another step forward, with each one the pressure on your body grew, one of his arms extended to your face, which was still fixed on him. Two large fingers gripped your chin. "So I'll allow it." It felt nice to be allowed, you thought. not even sure what being allowed meant. His fingers had pulled down your jaw, leaving your mouth wide open. His other hand reached down to his trousers, unbuckling his belt and pulling them down just enough to reveal his cock. He stared at your disoriented face. "Didn't you want to know how it felt to have the king of curses inside you?" Your lips had already touched his tip, you'd grabbed hold of his thigh without paying it a single thought. His hand grips your hair, pulling your head onto him, you hear him groan as you feel the bruise form on the inside of your throat. Another thrust comes after, his pace quickening, you whimper when his hand entangled itself deeper in your locks. Your other hand squeezed on his arm, hoping there's hair left on your head when he's done. You taste the tiny drops of cum smeared on your tongue. He pulls out of your mouth, you only hear your own heavy pants until he pulls you up by your hair and presses you against the nearest wall, the cold tiles sending shivers down from your cheek to your spine. His hand travels down from your hair, grabbing your neck from behind. The other one pulls up your skirt, you gasp from the touch of his fingers on your inner thigh. "Beg," He commands. His fingers push your underwear to the side and linger on your folds. You stay silent, hardly by choice, too shaken still to utter a single word. The hand around your throat grips tighter, pulling your head back until your ear reached his lips. "Do you think I can't feel how wet you are?" You hear the anger creep into his voice. He aligns the tip of his cock with your hole. "Now, beg."

"P-please-" You didn't want to talk, but your thighs have already started to try pushing yourself onto his length. He wouldn't let them. "Please, I - need it," You whisper. "I'll give it one more chance," He pushes your head back, pushing the tip you'd just wet for him into you, leaving you with a moan stuck in your throat, "Beg, loud enough for all your sorcerer friends to hear what you want." "I want you to fuck me, please, I need you to - ! " That was hardly loud enough for his usual tastes, but he was already inside, thrusting like an animal. One hand pressing your head further into the wall, and another holding your waist, preventing you from moving even a single inch from the position he'd angled you at. The tears gather at your eyes. He moans, a single raspy moan unlike the other you've heard him try and stop at his throat. At each thrust he hit that spot you were eager to please, you tried to push a hand down under your skirt, but Sukuna grabbed it, pressing it firmly to your back. "Now that's something you need to ask for," He breathed heavily near your ear, you tried to wiggle out your hand but to no avail. You felt your walls clench around his length each deep thrust, your muffled whimpers only making him go faster. "I - can I - ?" Your voice shook, you felt his pace getting sloppier. He let out a small chuckle, you can't even speak.

His fingers found their way to your clit, it only took a few gentle strokes for you to collapse from your orgasm. The way you squirmed against his body, moaning, whimpering made him bite into your neck, releasing warm ropes of cum into you, the noises he made muffled by the crook of your neck. The moment you were released from his grip, you'd collapsed onto the floor. When you looked up, he'd already adjusted himself back into his trousers. He towered over you,

"Now - now, what do we say to someone who gives us what we want?" Your cheeks flush red, legs still shaking. "T-Thank you".

#sukuna X reader #jjk fanfic #sukuna smut #jjk sukuna #jujutsu kaisen smut #jjk x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #ryomen sukuna x you #sukuna x y/n #sukuna x you

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mintmatcha · 10 months

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jjk manga spoilers:

It's a simple headstone. No dates or adornments are carved into the stone, just his name. Yellow flowers wilt in the vase at the base, their cold rotted petals already begun to drop and scatter themselves across the granite. The tiny amount of water that was once in the bottom is frozen over, locking the stems in place. You crouch down and unscrew the cap to your water bottle to top it off anyway, a futile nicety.

"His sister must have been here." Nanami's breath curls at he talks. Against the sea sick winter sky, he looks paler than ever, almost the same grey as the clouds that threaten to spill even more snow. He stands there and watches, eyes tipped low.

"Mhm," you hum, picking up each petal individually and gathering them in your palm, "This morning."

She had texted you in warning, to make sure your paths didn't cross. Maybe it was too painful to see you, maybe she just wanted to respect her brother's wishes to avoid the sorcerer world. Either way, you can't seen her face since she was a child. Either way, it was better this way.

You take the piles of gold you've collected and pile it below his name. There's not quite enough to form a heart, so it kind of looks like a butt.

Haibara Yu: butt.

He'd laugh at that. Probably a bit too hard.

Nanami breaks the thin layer of humor and it shatters, like ice underfoot.

"I still can't believe he's gone."

Sometimes, when you fight sleep for much too long, you swear you can feel his hand in yours, warm, plush, and soft just like always. You cried when they changed the way they made his old deodorant because it'll never smell the same.

"Me neither." you agree as placidly as you can.

"It's strange to think it's been ten years." He breathes into his hands to warm them, the slightly hint of pink returning to the tips of his fingers, "You two would have been married by now."

"Nana, you're so dramatic," you offer the wisp of a laugh, "Yu and I were, what? 16? 17?"

Seventeen. You knew that for sure. He called you his little dancing queen on your birthday and balked when you didn't know the reference.

"Even if he was still with us, we probably would have gone our separate ways." Your knees already ache from squatting like this. Age and use have already set into your joints. "He'd probably be--"

Your imagination fails you. You're unrecognizable from who you once were. He would be the same, nothing more than an unknowable possibility that you never had the chance to meet. Haibara will always be the boy you once loved and the boy you still do. You'll never be the same.

"He'd probably be doing something much better than hanging with me."

If you passed each other on the street, would he recognize you? Would you recognize yourself?

The wind sighs. Someone down the way is speaking, voice mumbling just below audible. A warm hand cups your shoulder, and the thumb traces a line back and forth, back and forth.

Grief is a shared experience. You and Nanami are linked by it.

"He loved you," Nanami says, "Very much. I don't know if he would have ever let you go."

The rhythm of your heart bounces against your ribcage, even paced as you stand. The feel of it chips away the pit in your stomach, crumbling away bits and pieces of yourself and letting them fall away.

Your companion throws an arm around your shoulder and hesitates before pressing a kiss into your temple. His lips are warm compared to the day and his grasp is firm. Everything about it is chaste and platonic, filled with unspoken comforts.

If Yu was alive, he wouldn't wear the same scents he did as a child. His hands wouldn't be the same width you remember, his laugh the same timber. He would change, just how you've changed in immeasurable ways since you were seventeen.

And yet, the fact remains that you still love him, same as before.

Maybe Nanami is right. Maybe, if things were different, Yu would still be in love with you.

"Ten whole years." You wipe your face with the back of your hand, "Feels like no time's passed at all."

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fluffalpenguin · 7 days

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Arc-V 10th Anniversary Cafe (April 2024)

Why can i only upload 10 images per post on the app sigh

I went twice, because the menu changed halfway!

Actually it was prohibited to take photos of the projector screen for some reason (I don't get it, because it's the same art on the merch) but ummmm let's just keep it between ourselves okay

My first visit was near the end of the first menu, so seats were readily available! (We don't talk about when I was like oh maybe I'll go today- oh fuck what do you mean there's no more slots oops guess ill go tomorrow)

When I went in at 6.30pm it was pretty empty, and since I was first in the queue I got to choose where I wanted to sit! And of course I made a beeline to...

While waiting for my food, of course I had to hit up the gacha (do not recommend, highly do NOT recommend) They had a bunch (think like 50-100 of those blind packs all stuffed into a basket and you do choose it yourself, but.....

You can only buy a maximum of 10 per type, and I was mainly looking for just the pawnies, though I was also looking for some of the others for friends...............

... I love Running Reiji because he's a reference to the manga, which I love dearly, but holy hell after his 3rd appearance I was feeling. something. The way I spent $[redacted] on these and I got only 1 out of the 4 I wanted (also how cruel is it that I got everyone in Group B except for hayaku yuri, damn

Halfway through the packs the Reiji drink (an iced sweet potato milk drink) i ordered arrived! and it came with a random novelty item like every item on the menu (Why is everything in Japan gacha. Just kidding I know the answer its the goddamn c word) and I got Reira! Very happy because she's one of my faves and she is so mega cute here

Anyway food's here!

The amount of pasta looks little because i only remembered to take a photo midway (was too depressed over my pulls when I started eating)

I was STILL unboxing the blind packs when it arrived and when I say do not gacha it's because the number of repeats was already getting to me and by the time I finally got around to my pasta it was already lukewarm...

It was alright, it was just a cream pasta (I think I was supposed to pour the lemon juice onto it maybe?)

Me when I consume lemons me too yugo so true

At the end you get to choose (yes CHOOSE and not gacha holy shit) a bromide of your own choosing for every 5,000 yen you spent (I guess that's why, because at that point you've already given them so much money the least they could do is to let you choose the little png to take home) took multiple of the yus so I can send them to friends!

Part 2 after I see if the airport gift shop has chiikawas...

#arc-v cafe #yugioh arc-v #arc-v #yugioh arc v

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readerxlit · 7 months

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Hello? I wonder can I have a request? The reader is Makoto yuki's lover, the reader has witnessed his death. Several years after his death, the reader joins IT, but she still summons Persona with her evoker and is several years older than the members of IT. How will Makoto react to adult readers in Persona Q1. (My grammar is still not very good, I hope you can understand)

Thank you for your patience, life has gotten in the way but I'm finally here with your request. (And, hey, your grammar is fine! I understood. In fact this is an idea I have also had in the past!) Thank you for the request!

You've changed. Time has affected you, of course. Being from a couple years in the future of the SEES members, it's obvious you're older. You can't keep your expression completely in check when you look at them. Knowing something you won't say. Looking at him- at Makoto- with something you won't say.

You still use an evoker, even though you don't need to by now. "It's more reliable, after using it so long." You still use it, but so much more naturally than your old teammates are used to you using it with.

Makoto doesn't know how to rectify the two versions of you. His teammate, his friend, his love, the person who should be at his side. The person you still are. Even if only because you follow on instinct. If only because you reach for him with long unused habits you can never quite lose.

But you're different, too. Older, not just than when he last saw you; you're older than the other members of the Investigation team. The oldest of the group, though you still look to Yu for leadership. At least when you aren't looking to Makoto.

"Is something wrong?" He's been staring for a while. It isn't surprising you noticed. Fidgeting under his gaze. Knowing he must have noticed the ways you're acting. "Makoto?"

"No." Makoto shrugs. You know him well enough to read the subtle changes in his expression, though. He knows that, too.

"Then?"

"Maybe I just want to look at you." A startled scoff leaves at his teasing. You would have been embarrassed, once. Now you just look fond. Nostalgic. As if you've missed this. Missed him.

"You're not usually that cheesy."

"So I won't change much?"

You flinch. Barely, but it's enough tgat Makoto can see it. Enough that he knows something has changed. He says your name, a barely whispered question.

"You haven't changed at all." There's so much hurt hiding underneath your words he doesn't want to face. What could have happened? Why do you look at him as if-

"Oh." He smiles at you, just barely.

"What is it?"

"Nothing." He's figured it out. You both know. But Makoto says nothing except, "I'm sorry."

"Makoto-"

"I love you." He needs to tell you, even if you won't remember he has.

"Of course you do, I'm your girlfriend," you say, teasing. But there's that fond expression again. The bittersweet feeling between you.

"I love you," you say, instead of addressing the reality. No, you aren't. How can you be when he's not there? When you've grown into adulthood without him? It hasn't been long, really. You love him, probably always will, but you can't be with him.

"Are you?" Are you still, he means. You look away.

He wouldn't want that.

"Okay," Makoto says, simply. Accepts what you won't say. He doesn't want to hurt you. Simply takes and holds onto every little detail of the ways you've changed, while you take in how much he's the same as you remember.

Eventually, before everyone returns to their own times, curiosity will get the better of Makoto.

"Were you there?" He asks.

"What?"

"When I-"

"We all were," you say. So that he cant put it into words. He died. You were all there, when he stopped breathing. It was horrible.

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay..." it isn't. "I don't think you regretted it."

"I should regret something." You stare at him, but Makoto shrugs off your confusion. "It hurt you."

"I'm glad I got to see you."

Oh. It did. He watches the way you tense at the acknowledgement. Then, with a maturity unfamiliar to him, you breathe a sigh and tell him, "I'm okay."

You hesitate at the sudden change in conversation. Makoto only offers a barely visible smile. "What do you mean?"

"When you're older." Makoto grabs on of your hands in one of his. "You got cooler."

"Cooler, huh?" You open your mouth to tease him about not thinking you were cool, originally, but he cuts you off.

"Pretty, too."

"Now you're just- you're teasing me."

"A little."

You've changed. In a world without him, you've grown into something different. But the light flushing of your face as he drops monotone descriptors on you hasn't.

You're still you, so Makoto will remind you he loves you, for this little extra time you've been given. Even if you might not remember.

#Makoto yuki #makoto yuki x reader #persona scenarios #p3 scenarios #fem reader #requests #completed #ml writes

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danketsuround · 5 months

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sunday six!

typical monday six for me cause i forgot yesterday was sunday lol i was tagged by @four-white-trees and @overdevelopedglasses woo! thank you! i will tag everyone else i usually tag @c-cw-f-saeko @fire-tempers-steel @futilecombat @passthroughtime (think that's everyone? lmk if u want to be tagged/untagged) (share if you want don't if you don't as usual HI)

sharing something different cause i wasn't feeling well this weekend and i have this written already. little extra thing from two birds that expands on the letters kuwana and reiko wrote to each other. kind of long but i don't like it enough to post so just take the whole thing gosh!

To Kusumoto-san,

How are you? I'm sorry I haven't written yet. I just figured out how this works in the midst of moving around. Ehime is a nice place. Far, temperate. The people in Masaki are a little too friendly. Not sure I could say the same about Matsuyama, though, I guess that's the city to a stranger. It seems silly to say, but I hope you're making some friends, if you can.

When we first drove in, a seagull shat on my car. Right on the windshield! I almost killed us both. I know you just jumped at the thought, but we're really okay. Mitsuru made fun at me for getting so startled. He's a good kid. He's a lot like you and nothing like me. Thank God. Despite our differences I think we're getting along.

We came to Matsuyama for a bit. We wanted to pop in and see you but they told us it doesn't work that way. That day it really hit that you were in prison, and not just away on a terrible vacation. I guess I'll never get over missing you. It really upset Mitsuru, so I took him to do tourist stuff instead. It was nice because a lot of people visit those areas, so the wheelchair wasn't really a problem like it is on these gravely rural roads. We met the mascot, Mikyan, and took a picture with him. I'm sure it fell out when you tore open this envelope. Did you know Ehime is famous for its mandarins? They really won't let you forget it! The photo was just going to be of Mitsuru, but this lady behind me said she could take a photo of the both of us, and I got too shy to say no. I'd never do that! Maybe I'm a changed man after all. Anyways, you have the both of us now—though it wasn't like you didn't before.

Mitsuru gave me a haircut. I look ridiculous. You can see it in the photo, right? I would have done a better job blindfolded, but he seemed proud of it, so I kept it. His hair looks pretty choppy now, but not out of revenge. I just suck at cutting hair. Did I tell you that he's trying to get his high school diploma? What a dedicated young man you've raised. I technically still have my teaching license, so I've been helping. Feels good. It's weird. Whenever I help him, I remember why I became a teacher in the first place. Ironic, isn't it? I want to tell you everything but I'll save it for the next time we see you. I'm sorry for cutting it so short, but I have a favor to ask you.

The nurses in Ijincho explained a bunch of stuff to me about Mitsuru's condition and printed it out. It's expectedly massive. Sorry to be a pain, but would you mind taking a look at it and tell me what to do? Advice? I can't make sense of it all. Or maybe I refuse to believe it. Is he really hurt so badly? What does he think of all this? I wonder about it. I wonder about it a lot. He seems fine, but then I look at all his X-rays and blood tests and I don't know what to think. How do I get him too eat? To grab things? To smile? I'm taking it one step at a time, but these technical terms are a big hurdle. You can read it, right? You've always been so much smarter than me. I'm sorry again. I'm lost. Thank you. I'm running out of room. They've got a limit on paper for prison letters. Seems strict.

Mitsuru wanted to say:

M iSsyou Mo M

- Mi Tsu ru

He's got a damn strong grip on his pencil. You'd be proud.

Until then,

Kitakata,

It's good to finally hear from you. I'm doing as well as I can. You seem to be the same. I checked a map of Masaki to try and place you two. It seems like a nice town. Are you getting used to the short buildings and the little beach?

I've been friendly with some of the other inmates, and the seagulls here do the same, but I've been safer than you.

I got your picture. How cute. Your haircut isn't so bad, he did a good job.

I looked at the documents. I know what you mean. I expect you already know to use the feeding tube and how to bathe him. It's not surprising he did not respond well to the catheter. I wouldn't either.

Firstly, Mitsuru has anterograde amnesia. That means he has a very difficult time forming short term memory, even if his long term memory is intact. Remember when you told me he didn't know your name, even though you told him earlier? That's why. I'm not sure why he doesn't remember your face from before. I suppose that's a fortunate mystery. You may have noticed the nurses doing this, but if you tell him the same things over and over again, he'll have an easier time forming new memories. He knows what to call you now because you said it so many times. I'm sure he knows I'm in prison because the nurses told him many times, too. That's what I get.

I'm sure you're well aware of his mental health. He seems to go up and down a lot, I bet. Like his body, his brain is suck at seventeen. Doesn't he seem so... frozen in time to you? He's like an old doll, destined to be a kid forever. I'd be jealous if that was the end of it. The nurses observed that he sometimes behaves like a much younger child. Have you seen him suck his thumb? Does he tug at you when he wants your attention? Hug you at night? It's an acute stress response. He's defending his body from his mind—that's what that means.

Lastly, his food. It's not very difficult to do. Steam it for thirty minutes. If you lose track of time and think you've cooked it for too long, add another ten minutes. I did that when he was little. He hated vegetables until they weren't shaped much like vegetables anymore. He'd swallow his food whole to hurry up and play outside again, so boil it thoroughly. It should be the consistency of chewed gum or silt. Try it yourself, add salt if you hate it. He doesn't like broccoli. No broccoli. Like everything else, he's still relearning how to chew. Don't push him. He’s sensitive. You know that already, just like you know how to do all this other stuff. You have good intuition, and great memory, and it helps that Mitsuru seems to love you. Even still, don't push him. No broccoli. Thank you.

Thank you.

Don't expect me to say anything else, I'll see you soon.

Kusumoto Reiko

#my tummy hurts #sunday six

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zip-toonz · 5 months

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I wanna talk about Flip Turner (Tokunosuke Omoteura)/Tokunosuke Hyori

Maybe I'm reading into his character far too much, but hes such a comically tragic character. Sure, Yu-Gi-Oh is nothing but tragic characters. Alot of whom are presented as comedic and/or kind. Just look at the protags.

Yuma himself is no stranger to difficulties and I think thats part of what makes him so likable.

But this is about Flip/Tokunosuke

A majority of people are willing to write him off as simply annoying. By design hes likely meant to be. However Flip is still a tragic character.

In both the Manga and the Anime Flip blatantly admits that his behavior is a direct result of being taken advantage of by older children, ones that he trusted and even considered friends. And in the Manga the backstory includes overhearing his own Mother speak ill of him to his older brother. She doesn't care what he does so long as he's not bothering his brother who she considers more clever.

These events ruined him and changed him as a person.

Flip, is a boy whos mindset is hinged on the paranoid belief that everyone has ulterior motives. He is reluctant to take people at their word. His actions are a way to take back power over his situation. If he lies and cheats no one can take advantage of him again because hes already ensured his success.

The sentiment that Flip is like this 'just because' is canonically wrong. Flip may come off as an unreliable narrator. He even plays into that in some scenarios. But he admits to his past while under the influence of Number Cards. I genuinely do not believe Flip would have if he wasnt.

Flip has trust issues, seemingly even within his own friend group. Old habits die hard and with a kid like Flip expecting him to 100% switch on a dime into fully trusting people is unfathomable. He pushed others away in the past likely out of paranoia of getting hurt again. Yuma is probably the first person he let himself open up too since the events that caused him to shut others out.

Thats not to say Flip doesn't care about his friends. He does. Especially Yuma who he considers his best friend. He wants to be involved with them. He feels indignant when he isnt. (Seen below - taken from S1 EP25). However Flip is a complicated kid mentally and emotionally because if how he was treated in the past.

At the end of the day Flip is played off for laughs. He's a small impish boy who lies and cheats and has a goofy voice. So its easy to forget that he's the way he is because hes been hurt.

I adore him greatly, I see myself in him. Trusting people is hard when you've been hurt by the people you trusted.

Hes 13, hes acting out. Luckily hes found a group that embraces him, he could have easily fallen further if not for Yuma. I wished the series had of focused on his growth (and by extention some of yumas friends) more. I feel like he (and the others) had a lot of unused potential.

#yu-gi-oh #yugioh zexal #flip turner #tokunosuke omoteura #tokunosuke hyori #i have a headache rn ngl #so this might read awfully #but ive been wanted to talk about tjis for forever i could write essays about flip #flip haters uhhh...hi if you actually read this #hes my son btw i fist fought his mother to get custody #i proof read but again headache sooooo uhhhh letting this go as it is #raw toonie thoughts #ok to rb btw #im just rambling

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lenateliier · 2 years

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How would you describe tai sui to someone who wants to read?

Agh I am so terribly sorry for the late response!! I've been very busy lately ^^" however!!! I can now go on for 50+ hours on why you should read it wahaha

So you want to read Tai Sui 🤨 Bring several boxes of tissues then, you'll need them!! It's an absolutely phenomenal novel that I think everyone should at least try - it's just your classic fun little family friendly xianxia that definitely won't grab you by the throat and wring you dry of everything you've ever felt 😉

For the absolute basics, Tai Sui is 247 chapters + 7 extras long, and it's a steampunk xianxia + historical fantasy. What's even better is that it has a lovely coherent completed translation done by E.Danglers!! It does not have a character pairing but PLEASE do not let the fact that it isn't a danmei dissaude you from reading!!! Tai Sui is such a rich and beautifully written novel for so many different aspects it's just so!!! *clenches fist*

As you may expect from it being a work by Priest, it's a deconstruction/breakdown of the xianxia genre with astoundingly intricate world building, detailing just what effect cultivation really has on the environment and the people who live there. It feels so incredibly weighty in the sense that it's so lived in, so very tangible..... One of my favourite things about it is that it showcases so much of the tragedy of the average person; the result of cultivation being so prominent and exclusive of the general public, the class divides it creates....and it does so through characters that aren't even named, while still making it sting! There's a handful of scenes like this I can think of off the top of my head but I wouldn't want to spoil them wahaha, so here's a screenshot of my reading thread mentioning it!

Another thing it does that I adore about Tai Sui is how it toys with the concept of what makes a deity/god. Think TGCF, but where TGCF came the the conclusion that gods are just the same as humans and left it at that, Tai Sui dissects that even further from various angles. What makes a god? Why do they hold that much power? Do they owe anything to the people? Should they? What makes them legitimate? Why can't we question them? Or to quote a scene from chapter 128, “so which are higher, the gods in heaven, or the gods on earth?” It's so incredibly good when contrasted against the MC, Xi Ping, and his situation that you'll see progress in the novel!! I don't want to spoil too much wehehe.

Priest touches on and explores so many different concepts over the course of it too!! To name just a few (courtesy of @/iplepee who made a list of these on twitter) there's environmental injustice, labour exploitation, resource monopoly, phrenology, the power of language, the power of names!!!!..... WAH I cannot stress it enough how amazing this novel is.... It's so beautifully done.

The characters too are incredibly enjoyable....agh...AGH OUR MC ESPECIALLY oh he has a special place in my heart my xiaobao 😭😭 to name just a few of my favourites it would be Xi Ping, Zhou Ying, Zhi Xiu, Xi Yue, Wei Chengxiang, Yu Chang, Zhao Qindan, Lin Chi, Wen Fei.....wahhhh so many...but honestly there are so many great characters and all I can do is clutch my chest at them,,, the relations between them, their interactions, what they mean to each other, how those ties affect their actions — it's so amazing and compelling. I've hinted at it in the prior little paragraphs but more than anything Tai Sui can be considered a story of the people, really.

Xi Ping especially is such a wonderful character and I really do think that out of all the Priest mcs, he is perhaps the most tragic one — not that you would know it until you think about it for a while longer :') Xi Ping does this wonderful little trick of fooling you into thinking everything is fine and good and great. I think one of the things that Tai Sui fans debate over a lot is whether it would have been more painful to see Xi Ping cry, or whether the fact that we never do see him just. Give himself a moment to breathe and feel that is the most painful......He comes close to it in one particular chapter, and those who have read it know exactly which one I'm talking about 😚😚

If you have ever read any of Priest's novels before, then in classic Priest fashion she will tear you apart and glue you back together only to maul you even worse than before. And it's such a great experience!!! You're in tears and you sit there gratefully. When I say Tai Sui changed my brain chemistry on a fundamental level I mean it... I have never been the same person since. The Tai Sui fandom on twitter, best described, is just a bunch of sadomasochists 😭😭👍

I'll stop here because I really could go on forever, but if you need any further reason to start this novel, please just take a look at some of these (not spoilery, don't worry!!!!) posts from my reading thread;

PLEASE READ TAI SUI!!! PLEASE READ IT!!!!!!! WAHHHHH HA HAAAA this novel means so much to me!!!

#lena's inbox #WAHAHAHAHA please do forgive me the length of this..#this was me trying to be concise if you'll believe me #ANYWAY PLEASE READ TAI SUI #READ IT PLEASE I BEG YOU #tai sui #priest tai sui #priest太岁

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blueeyeswhitegarden · 1 year

Note

Long time no see. Hope you've been doing alright, and that the new year is going well for you. There's something that's I've been thinking about, and that's the fandom's opinion on Leo Akaba. As you already know, he ain't a popular figure, even for the villains. The main issues people have with him are his motives, his actions that led to Z-arc getting revived, and he was easily forgiven. Now, all of these are understandable, but I think people might be getting bias with this one, and not the

-reasonable kind. Although I'm not properly educated on the Yu-Gi-Oh! Franchise as I would like to be yet, from what I've seen in other posts, is that yeah ARC-V might've dropped the ball with Leo, but he's still a good villain and that other YGO enemies had much more stupid "redemption" arcs than he did. It's not just with Leo and the villains. I'm starting to notice that whatever problems the fandom has with ARC-V, they're present in the other shows and are either just as bad or way worse.

Hi there. I'm doing fine. I hope that you've had a good start to the new year too. I knew that Leo Akaba wasn't one of the more popular villains and I was aware of some of the issues people had with him, but I'm a bit surprised that there were issues with his motives. Leo's motivations were perfectly fine. For most of the series, he was kept in the shadows. He, and by extension Academia, were a looming threat to the four dimensions, so you could still feel his presence even if he wasn't on screen that often. Finding out that he wasn't after power like I had assumed he was doing for years, but instead was trying to restore his daughter and the original world changed everything. He was a father lashing out in grief for his lost child. He wanted to restore what was lost by any means necessary. His desire to reunite with Ray arguably made him sympathetic, but the show never justified his actions. Reiji called him out multiple times during their duel that he was a bigger threat to the peace among the four dimensions than Zarc was, which was true. His actions were what led to Zarc's revival in the first place since without the Dimensional War, I don't think that the Dragon Boys would have been able to merge together. It was also extremely satisfying to see Reiji call Leo out, especially when some fans still thought that he was secretly evil or that he would team up with his father to fight against Yuya. That was one of Reiji's best moments in the series.

This motivation made Leo far more interesting than I thought he would be. It also explained why he had no problem attacking other Dimensions or brainwashing children for his personal army. He didn't see any of these dimensions or any of the people, including his own wife and son, as being real because they weren't from the original world. But from the audience's perspective, we couldn't agree with him since by this point, we had seen multiple characters from different dimensions. We had seen their different personalities and connections form to where we couldn't just dismiss them like he could just because they weren't from the original world. It also made sense in-universe for this reveal to happen this late in the series when Leo was the only survivor of the original world and would be the only one with memories of it.

I remember people being annoyed with how he basically had Yuri become a mini-Zarc, but I thought that was kind of the point. Leo was so focused on reviving Ray that nothing else mattered. He was too busy chasing after the ghost of his daughter that he didn't see the Bracelet girls as anything more than pieces of Ray. He didn't realize that Ray needed a vessel much like Zarc did to revive despite creating such advanced technology.

Now I didn't get the impression that he was easily forgiven exactly. Even Reiji letting go of his anger was less about forgiving his father and more like not being consumed by anger. He saved him after losing to Zarc, but I didn't think that meant he was forgiven either. Shun choosing to not punch Leo after he explained how wrong he was to take the Bracelet Girls away didn't mean that he was forgiven either. It would have been satisfying to see as the audience, but from Shun's perspective, he didn't do it because he didn't think that there would be a point to it if Yuto and Ruri were gone forever, which they weren't. Despite being with the cast in the finale, I don't see everyone, especially Reiji and Yuzu, happily interacting with Leo post canon is what I'm saying here. While Leo may not have gotten as much punishment for his actions as fans wanted, he still ultimately didn't really get anything either. Despite all of his efforts to revive Ray, he didn't get any semblance of closure or reunion with her. Ray was revived and helped to save the world again alongside Yuzu and Reira, but she was gone again afterwards. Abandoning his new family, carding countless innocent people and creating an army in Academia gave him exactly nothing in the end. All it did was make him nearly cause another universe destruction event and I think that was the wake up call he needed to finally understand that he was in the wrong. Honestly, Leo my second favorite Arc V villain next to Zarc himself.

Now forgiveness/redemption can be a difficult topic within fandom space in general, not just for Yu-Gi-Oh!, but I do think that the franchise have forgiven other villains for worse behavior. Marik attempted to murder Yugi and his friends multiple times before he was possessed. Yubel was a possessive and dangerous spirit even before the Light of Destruction affected them and despite being at least partly responsible for everything bad that happened during season three, they still effectively got what they wanted by merging with Judai. As a side note, I still think that Yubel is one of the most overrated villains of the franchise. Not one of the worst by any means, but I think that they're put on a bit too high of a pedestal. In term of father figures, I think both Dr. Faker and Revolver's father were much worse since their actions were glossed over, if not retconed entirely. At least Arc V didn't justify Leo's actions or try to downplay his actions like they did for those two. Not every Yu-Gi-Oh! series have the same problems, but plenty of issues some fans have with Arc V can be found in other series too.

#Arc V #Leo #Asks #Pendulum Answer

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ermanodelgcdo · 7 months

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Ermano x Lacey

located at ermano's airstream.

ermano.

-sitting in the kitchen area, ermano waited for the popcorn in the microwave to be done until he heard a knock on the door- Come in! -he called out, not wanting to get up-

Lacey Yu

-Lacey opens the door, going into the kitchen area to see Ermano- Were you going to tell me that Adriana is back? -Not necessarily expecting and answer to that question, she sighs and sits across from him. She still doesn't know what to think about Adriana's return- Have you talked to her yet?

ermano.

-he hadn't expected to see lacey. her question immediately took him off guard. ermano put his hands up in defense- Lo siento, I haven't had much time for anything lately. But yes and no.

Lacey Yu

-She nods, understanding.- No, you're fine. God knows everyone's been busy. -More than anything she was simply caught off guard upon first seeing Adriana, but there was nothing to fix that. She takes a moment to figure out what Ermano means by his vague answer and nods.- I can only imagine what you're thinking right now. Neither of us thought we would ever see her again.

ermano.

I'm trying not to think, if I'm being honest. You know better than anyone I'm not exactly equipped to deal with my emotions.

Lacey Yu

Yeah, well... maybe this is the time for you to deal with them. I know it's difficult, and I'm not saying you have to talk to me, but... I don't know. -She purses her lips, wanting her friends to take this second chance, nor does she want to push Ermano too far.- I realize you have a lot on your plate right now, but maybe you could at least consider trying to find some closure with her. I think both of you deserve that.

ermano.

And what if she finds out about us? -He knew the elephant in the room would eventually come up- I wasn't expecting to see her again. I know sleeping with other women wouldn't matter, but you? That might be a different story.

Lacey Yu

I think we should have some faith in her. It's not like you cheated. So much has changed. -Lacey feels her throat closing up, knowing he has a point whether she likes it or not.- Even if she does care, I don't see how that negates either of you finding closure.

ermano.

Does it really matter if we get closure now, Lace? -ermano scoffed- It's been years since it happened, and since our divorce. If you were in my shoes, what would you do?

Lacey Yu

-Lacey pauses so she doesn't say something she'll regret. If she were in his shoes she never would've let Adriana go in the first place.- I'm not saying you have to make up right away. I'm just saying it's something to consider. -She's meeker now, feeling like she went to far. She just wants both of her friends to be happy.-

ermano.

-He notices Lacey's hesitancy - the way her shoulders slumped - and reached out a hand to take in hers- Are you okay?

Lacey Yu

Yeah, I'm fine. -She squeezes his hand, looks up at him and gives him a soft smile. No matter what happens between Ermano and Adriana, she has them back, and she's not going to take that for granted.- I'm not trying to push you, I simply want both of you to be happy. You deserve to be happy whether or not you believe it. I wish you would believe that.

ermano.

I think at this point, I'll still choose to not believe it. -Ermano tried to mix a hint of playfulness in his words, but knew Lacey would see through it. She was good at that.- You know my dilemma. But I promise I will talk to Adriana.

Lacey Yu

-She lets out a breathy laugh, but either way she's happy to see him be a little playful. It wasn't like she thought he would magically start believing it.- Thank you. -Lacey presses a kiss to his cheek.- Well, I suppose I've bothered you enough for one day, unless you want my help with anything. I'm here if you ever want to talk. Whether it be as a therapist or a friend.

ermano.

-Ermano smiled when Lacey placed a kiss on his cheek- I know I tell you this all the time but I truly am appreciative of all you do. You've been essential here. And hey, I'm here if you ever need a therapist or a friend too. Even therapists need a therapist.

Lacey Yu

Consider the feeling mutual. Redwood wouldn't be half the town it is without you. -She grins, standing up and turning back to him.- I talk to you as a friend all the time. But maybe one day I'll hold you to the therapist thing.

ermano.-ermano smiled at her statement, feeling a brush of pride pass over him- Please do, Lace. I'm always here for you.

@laceyyu

#ermano ;; discord threads #discord threads ;; lacey

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daily-hanamura · 3 months

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I kind of wished that the persona 4 cast wasn’t stuck in a narrative where the main theme is ‘always accept the role thrust upon you and if you don’t like it, just force yourself to like it’. Yukiko actively wants to leave Inaba and create her own life, but is portrayed negatively when doing so, with her character arc involving her accepting the role thrust upon her. Don’t get me started on Naoto. I know you’re the Yosuke guy, and was wondering what are your thoughts on this when applied to Yosuke?

I want you to know that being called "the Yosuke guy" is now my greatest achievement you've made my day everyday for the last week

I do agree with you, and I think it was one of my initial issues with P4 where, for a game whose entire narrative is about being true to yourself, it sure falls back into that tired sense of social conformation a lot. It's grating, right, because it feels like what they really mean to say is "be yourself! but not too much and not in a way that makes other people unhappy and make sure you're still living up to other peoples expectations because that's the real reason why you're unhappy with yourself, you haven't accepted who we want you to be (which is the real you that we've decided) etcetc" and it just undercuts the emotional impact of their self-acceptance (see also kanji and rise). (dw I know P5 also kind of has the same problem, and I can go into a whole thing about the limits of transformative narratives written by capitalist corporations but i wont. today-)

I think with Yosuke though, it's really interesting because his character arc is more so tied to his relationship with Inaba as a place, rather than his fundamental self-perceptions. It's established early on that Yosuke hated the town for various reasons; he's a city boy who wants excitement and connection, but most of the town hates him so he's shit out of luck and it gives him little reason to like the town back. As the game progresses, he starts to like the town -- "it's not about where you are, but who you're with", so it's his friendships (and having people who accept him for who he is) that makes the place meaningful for him. And, at the end of the day, Yosuke did get what he wanted - excitement and connection.

But he's not tied to Inaba.

In P4AU, it's revealed that Yosuke's struggling to figure out what he wants to do in life, but by the end of it he tells Yu that he wants to leave the town and go to college with Yu in the city, and that he wants to see the world and experience more things for himself. It fascinates me because it very strongly implies that Yosuke's arc isn't complete as we're very expressly told that he's still developing. It stands in contrast to the other characters who have effectively been fixed into some role or position (Yukiko as an inn manager, Rise as an idol), and unlike them, Yosuke hasn't been permanently relegated to the things that he starts off hating. He hasn't been written to stay in Inaba or even to continue working at Junes after graduation, instead he gets the opportunity to try things. imo this makes his arc more situational (and therefore layered) - Yosuke's perspective on his circumstance matures, but who he is as a person doesn't have to change, and he's not forced to make a trade-off with the wishes he had at the start.

This might be because Yosuke is Atlus' favourite character of the contrast between Yosuke's city background and the rest of the Inaba folk. There's a guy in the school who talks about how most people who finish high school in Inaba just go on to get jobs, and very few actually leave for college and beyond. It's something deeply realistic and reflective of human geography IRL, because that's very common in small communities. A fear of the outside world because of how isolated they are (and Inaba kind of is - remember how Yosuke said they barely had cell connectivity up until recently) means they tend to look inwards instead of out, so there isn't as strong an awareness of what else there is out there and a belief that your options are basically just that (it also makes it all the more impressive that they have surprisingly well-traveled teachers). Yosuke, on the other hand, is very much connected to the internet and the outside world, and he also tends to think about the things that he's missing out on more tangibly.

It makes for a very interesting parallel with Yukiko, who had grown up in Inaba all her life and also expresses that same interest in wanting to go out and see the world. Yukiko's idea about the kind of options that she has is weirdly limited for someone who is supposed to be at the top of her class. When you meet her at the bookstore, she talks about getting a job license so she could leave town, and her first thought was interior decorator (do you even need a license for that? it's not a chartered profession unlike an architect or interior designer, but things might work differently in japan). And maybe she does have a genuine interest in it so I'm talking shit, but it also feels like it's a job that she's aware of only because of the ryokan. As far as I could tell, we don't actually see her express any interest in, say, furniture themes or colour swatches and fabric textures in the way Kanji very clearly does. Her world view, like everyone else, is bounded by the reach of her experience, but because Inaba is so small and cloistered it impedes her ability to imagine beyond that. Even when she's thinking of leaving, her options are still limited to her experiences at the inn. I'm still really salty about how she decided to stay at the ryokan in the end, because something much more satisfying in my opinion would have been for her to get the opportunity to try different things elsewhere in the world, and if she decided that the ryokan was the right thing for her, then, well, fine, I guess? Or some cliche like exploring other inns elsewhere so she could bring that knowledge home. Especially since she had the support of her family and the inn staff, it makes her narrative feel more like an acceptance of her lot in life, rather than a genuine realisation that yeah, this was what she wanted, which was what the game wanted us to think, except it's not convincing. Instead, it just feels like a weird stagnation because her initial wish of wanting to see the world beyond the ryokan was not satisfied.

But hey, guess who does!

Yosuke gets to learn how to make the best of a situation, but ultimately, he's not beholden to it. He - and his writers - understand that he's not done growing, so he doesn't fix himself to a role that he doesn't like. AND IT'S GOOD. I just wish everyone else got that opportunity.

#asks #get-hit-with-the-wimp-stick #as you can see i have many thoughts on this #frankly i might also be extremely biased as a city person who hates being a frog in a well so this has deeply skewed my interpretation #also human geography is my special interest so that's a weird take there huh #not sure if this was the question you were asking but this is my answer

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sketching-shark · 1 year

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Not gonna lie, as much as I like that Monkie Kid deviates from JTTW to kinda be its own thing... I was kinda disappointed with who they picked as his sworn brothers, Macaque included. I do love the call backs to some villains in the original but I was hoping for his sworn brothers to be the same as JTTW or at least much closer to them (that and I've become a fan of the idea of the Macaque king not being Six Ears, or being more of a Queen than a King, during the hiatus). I'm still happy to see more of what Macaque and Wukong's relationship and hope we get more explanation as to what happened. As you said, we have yet to get Wukong's side of things and I want that CONTEXT so bad. (I am unsure if mind control had anything to do with it because of the Amnesia episode. I could be remembering wrong but he seemed like he was legit friends with Tang Sanzang and Zhu Bajie right?)

You've also mentioned before how it's very much becoming a "Wukong is a horrible person and everything is his fault" theme which, while he's not perfect, I'm really not a fan either. We need his side or all of this is just one sided bullshit. It's getting old, honestly.

I still love Qi Xiaotian, so I'm gonna watch to see how he grows. But damn. Give Wukong some joy and let him keep it, jeez.

Monkie Kid spoilers below:

aawergaerdsf YEAH @ladyzerodark every day I long for a JTTW retelling that uses the potential of the Monkey King's sworn brothers from the og classic like there is so little information about them outside of the Demon Bull King that the book is basically handing creators free ocs. As it is I've seen people go back and forth about whether the Macaque Demon King was a lady or not, but from what I understand even that might depend on regional differences in understandings of who that yaoguai was. Even the different translations of the Anthony C. Yu version present them in different ways, which needless to say makes thing even more confusing if you're trying to establish a baseline of what the sworn brothers were like. But besides that I think it would be cool to see SWK have some genuine monkey friends in the Macaque Demon King and Snub-nosed Monkey King who were actually his friends in Wu Cheng'en's work instead of his evil twin who hates his guts getting shoved into that role (X_X).

But yeah there's still a lot of unanswered questions about went down from the Monkey King's perspective buuuuut personally I still feel like this presentation of Sun Wukong and the Six-Eared Macaque being the closest of friends is giving me whiplash given that Macaque despised Sun Wukong so much that he repeatedly thrashed Qi Xiaotian for Crime of Associated With Monkey King all while Sun Wukong has given basically no sign of caring about the shadow simian like at all in any of the previous episodes. Besides the general trash-talk and contempt, Macaque, now revealed as a member of Sun Wukong's best friends forever club, literally blew up in front of him and SWK's only response was "you did good, bud" to the guy who did the exploding. But then again I guess that is fitting for the ongoing theme of "Sun Wukong is a genuinely terrible person who's hated by everyone who's known his for an extended period of time & for good reasons" so par for the course at this point. I'm probably being too mean in regards to a cartoon monkey, and hey maybe later things will genuinely re-contextualize things, but honestly I am kind of worried that Monkie Kid has now characterized Sun Wukong as so careless, so destructive, so stupid, and so routinely incompetent with catastrophic results that nothing in his backstory, not even the headband torture times, will serve as an explanation for why he acts the way he does. So maybe things will change with added context, but at the moment what's to say about lego Sun Wukong except

#ask answered #ladyzerodark #monkie kid #monkie kid spoilers #still kind of astonishing that of all the sun wukongs that you could make a depressed failure that basically everyone hates #it would be the one from a goofy lego show ostensibly about going on adventures with the great sage #like. lmao

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trashlie · 1 year

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hey it's lil anon again! wah thank you for always writing such elaborate responses, i really appreciate you taking the time and always giving me a lot to think about 💕💕

i especially want to thank you for going into so much detail on alyssa. tbh she's probably the only ily character i'm just not very good at reading, so your analysis really helps me understand her better. i can put myself in her shoes, but so many of her choices contradict my moral compass, i struggle to emphasize... and honestly, if alyssa knows that yui is awful and/or that something happened between nol and yui (it's hard to believe she never noticed how nol reacts to yui - it took shinae 2 seconds to figure out something's off - at the very least she must know he's not particularly fond of her), then those "i want to be just like her"/"i'm jealous i wish she was my mother" comments to his face are even worse. like if her microaggressions towards him are unintentional, that's one thing, but if she's purposefully pouring salt into his wounds, even if she doesn't know the extent of those wounds, that's evil :/ sigh. anyways alyssa being aware of yui's true nature at least to some extent and possibly wanting to escape the trap (even if not yet, then possibly in the future) is a really interesting thought! the 7-10 year contracts as well, thanks for pointing that out. i'll keep that in mind.

very briefly re: dieter. i joked about it to cope but yeah i do feel horrible for him :( "the winner takes it all" and "of course i'll let you break my heart again" 💔💔💔 thank you for elaborating on his feelings, it's important to acknowledge what he's going through. i think this will be a strong undertone in the story for a while…

on nol and pushing people away to protect them: you've touched on the emotional aspect in your recent post beautifully, and i would like to add that even rationally, teaming up is the best strategy going forward. like i would love his fear of losing her to kick him in the ass, but if he can't bring himself to accept his feelings wants and needs, if he still wants to insist he doesn't deserve any of this, then the rational approach will work too. if he's smart LOL (i have hope!) he will understand that driving a wedge between them is the last thing he should do if he wants to a) make sure she's okay (not that she needs to be protected but ykwim) b) actually help her escape yui, and c) make up for dragging her into all this (even if unintentionally) instead of running away like a coward. it probably hasn't clicked yet because he's stubborn as hell and still deep in this pool of guilt and regret, but this might be an angle shinae can use to get through to him. that it's, rationally, best to deal with the danger together. and if being a team then comes with those moments of calm and peace, even better. she's not alyssa 2.0 and he knows this. the trust, the bond, the commitment is there, they just need to communicate gdi!!! aaargh. actually, writing this a mental image of shinae doing like a powerpoint presentation for him popped into my head LMAO something like "how to deal with the hag 101: ditching me -> bad strategy 👎🏼🚫🙅🏻‍♀️ ; teaming up -> good strategy 👍🏼💯🙌🏼" fgdhsjdkd hey maybe he's a visual learner who knows.

actually… i've been wondering if nol will remain closed off until the article comes out, and that's how shinae and friends will learn more about his past… and everything else, obviously. it's not ideal to have your past "exposed" like that, but hey, yu jing is unstoppable and the article is coming out anyways. the article isn't centered on nol, but it covers enough to give shinae & co enough insight. and i can actually see it alleviating some of nol's pressure, because a) someone else "tells it for him" and b) the article is a catalyst of change; a silver lining that things are turning around for him. i think it'd also help shinae and friends understand nol better in the sense that, oof, it's A Lot, everything is worse than they could've expected, so it's understandable why it's extremely difficult for nol to talk about all this, that he doesn't want anyone to be dragged into this mess. i can imagine it being much easier to talk about everything afterwards, when his friends have dealt with the initial shock and have a basic understanding of the events from an unbiased source. maybe even help him process the article bc a lot of it will not align with his own perception of the past. it's actually extremely important that the article is an ✨objective✨ retelling of the events, because nol is an extremely unreliable narrator. from a storytelling perspective, it feels a little too convoluted to let shinae hear nol's warped, skewed version, and then let her learn the truth from the article, no? i think that for the sake of driving the plot forward, it's enough that she understands that it's something very serious and that he blames himself for everything. idk what do you think?

related to that, i've been thinking a bit about how the article would impact nol himself. it's just… a lot to process, isn't it. to realize that you were punished again and again for nothing, that they've villainized you and messed with your head to the point that your entire perception of yourself and reality is inaccurate. all those years of self-loathing and anguish and guilt and grief. while the actual perpetrator is revelling in the sick satisfaction of breaking and tormenting an innocent kid. gosh. i don't see nol as a vengeful person, but who knows how all this is going to affect him… a while ago i saw a post that was like "sun-coded character but not in the typical sunshine way, but in the sense that they're bright and powerful and burning hot like a raging fire of anger and passion and fury to the point of self-destruction" and ohmygod. this is complete speculation, but i couldn't help but think of nol and his future development. of course i don't hope he would reach a point of self-destruction, that would be really tragic, but the potential is just 🤌🏼

anyhoo back to the present <3 the three days make me soooo hopeful OH GOD i'm trying so hard to keep my expectations low… like you, i think an apology/honest conversation would be ideal, but even if nana can give shinae some encouragement and ease her heart, that would already help so much. also, if the guy wants to be a wall then can he at least find a way to be a wall without hurting her?? like my boy you're not a bad guy because of whatever you think you did in the past, you're a bad guy because you keep hurting shinae!!! stop being consumed by the darkness for a second and deal with the situation at hand, please. 152 was strike one, this was strike two. don't make me teleport into the comic and bonk you like nana did 😾 and fgdshfkjthepossiblekissdontevengetmestartedaaahhhhhhhhh ahem not to be like that but walk with me for a moment ok. walk with me ashlie. remember that "will this make it all better?" drawing quim posted on patreon a couple of weeks ago? not saying anything so i don't jinx it but 👀 shinae's not wearing her bandana in that drawing btw 👀 anything can happen in three days right. teehee 🤸🏼🤸🏼🤸🏼

alright. take care 💗 -lil anon 😼

LIL ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!! LIL!!!!!!!!! ANON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS GOD god you just GET ME YOU GET ME YOU GET ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! lmao (I, too, would like to bonk Nol Nana-style)

PLEASE I NEED a little spin off sketch doodle of Shinae giving Nol that powerpoint presentation where he starts off with his usual grumpy face and maybe even starts to roll his eyes but can't help but start laughing because I SURE DID LMAO PLEASE I WANNA SEE IT SO BAD?! Sprinkle in some tips from Nana's How to Banish Witches LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Let me try to go in order, though! I get so tangled up in my own words so... so easily lmao

I do feel you on Alyssa - and I get why she's so hard for most people to digest. I think she is one of the most intentionally hard to read characters we've met - we know just enough about her to make us think, but not enough that we can say anything is for certain. That's one of the reasons I feel like there must be something being held over her head, because I guess I do tend to have a rather naively hopeful view of her, and like to imagine that it's not that Alyssa is this terrible person as much as, like everyone else, she's caught up in some kind of terrible trap. Of course, it could be that she knows what a horrible person Yui is and what she admires still is the raw power. Maybe she doesn't want to wield power the way that Yui does, but rather just possess it? We've seen a glimpse of her mother and father's relation and can get a sense for why she wants to be a part of a power couple where the partners are independent, separate entities who, most importantly, don't control the other. (But we know that's NOT actually the case of Rand and Yui at all.) So one thought could be that she likes the IDEA of it, just perhaps not the execution?

But yes, true, the way she speaks about Yui feels so much like it's rubbing salt in Nol's wound. Another thought I've had though regards the timeline. Where was Nol living when he was hanging around with Alyssa? Was Yui around enough for Alyssa to have picked up on the nature of their relationship? Was she possibly so blinded by her idolatry that she DIDN'T noticed how Nol feels about Yui? But on the other hand, Nol specifically used the line that she knows he's invisible to his family and friends. I feel like Nol has possibly opened up to Alyssa more than he has to Shinae and their other friends. Maybe early in their relationship, when he was trying to make it real (when he had a crush? if he had a crush? when he wanted to make it benefit him in a pleasant way?) he opened up a little, and it didn't go over the way he wanted?

I don't want to paint Alyssa in a bad light because I feel like she's intentionally set up to be a misunderstood character for the reasons you've mentioned. She doesn't fit most peoples' moral compasses, she makes choices most people like to think they wouldn't. But just as I said in the last ask response, characters are shaped by their own experiences and traumas, right? Just like how Nol is so lost in his rightful fear and pain and cannot see the possibility that he's not the monster he thinks he is, perhaps Alyssa is so trapped in her own feelings that it was hard for her to acknowledge (or to correctly interpret) Nol's reactions? I get the feeling that in the past he covered it up more, but if he was trying to talk Alyssa down from her Yui fascination.... how direct was he? Did he have to dance around it without opening up too much? I feel like he HAS to have withheld a lot of information, otherwise you're right, it makes Alyssa seem far worse than she already does. And because perception is important per character, it goes back to that point of perhaps favoring certain ASPECTS of Yui and what they could mean for her, if not the way she uses them?

I always wonder when we'll get to know more about Alyssa. A part of me hopes to see her and Shinae reconcile (but she has to actually apologize for their past or else I don't want it lol) which I think could be possible if/when Alyssa has her public fall from grace. I still feel like that will eventually happen lol, and maybe THAT'S when we'll get more insight into her? I feel like she will remain intentionally withheld from us to continue to keep us guessing. But yes, I do always want to know more and more about her relationship with Nol, and how much she really knows about him, if she's been disregarding his feelings, if she's just blinded by her own needs, or if she really is just a kind of selfish, terrible person LMAO. I think we've seen that most characters seem to be redeemable - or at the very least, we can empathize with their situations and understand why they've made their choices - barring Yui and lol Sangchul (the whole of the Kims?) so it's a question of where does Alyssa really fit in? I continue hoping we'll find that she, too, has circumstances we will eventually understand.

this might be an angle shinae can use to get through to him. that it's, rationally, best to deal with the danger together. and if being a team then comes with those moments of calm and peace, even better.

YEAH YEAH exactly! Like, all romance aside, strategy and story-wise, I think it's really important for Nol to find the importance of being able to be a team with people. It just feels better to have that established at this point of this story, rather than to wait until years and years pass? But yeah, I definitely think Yujing's story might play into it, if at this point Nol is unable to make the (right lol) choice to team up with Shinae, I think, yes, having the pressure of not needing to actually be the one to open up would help. I think that expose is incredibly important to Nol, even if it's not directly about him. I think I've previously mentioned it, but I really do worry that Nol's feeling that he's a monster and that he's responsible for the loss of his mother came from his stint in the mental facility. Therapy and medication are fantastic for those who need it - but that doesn't mean it can't be used against them, either. For instance, think of conversion camps/therapy and what it can do to a queer person. I feel like that's why it's such an adamant belief of his, and why it's impossible for anyone to change his mind. It's more than just teenage angst and stuff.

Shinae is starting to see that bigger picture - that someone like Yui gets to get away with messing with and hurting other people while never having to face responsibility for it. She's already watched Nol take the fall for Sangchul. Sure he's the one who pleaded guilty against his lawyer's advice, but look at how the media was already turning against him, ready to believe that he was a monstrous rapist. So for Nol to be able to get to see that bigger picture, too - that Yui DOES make those choices, that it's not just about him, but about her own amusement at other peoples' expenses, be able to better see that she targeted him and hopefully be able to comprehend that it wasn't a thing he did or didn't do. People are responsible for their choices.

And yes, he, too, is responsible for his own choices, therefore he, too, is responsible for always hurting her. Again, I know I am SO naively hopeful sometimes, but I just have to HOPE this three-day extension is for exactly that - for him realizing that hurting Shinae doesn't protect her, hurting her doesn't help her.

like my boy you're not a bad guy because of whatever you think you did in the past, you're a bad guy because you keep hurting shinae!!! stop being consumed by the darkness for a second and deal with the situation at hand

THIS IS EXACTLY IT LOL!!!!!! I just have to hope that seeing the kind of regret he's wearing, the likely disappointment he was met when he took off that bandana and she was gone, means that he is rethinking. Or, if not rethinking, that he will have a moment of weakness as Shinae spoke of lol and that he'll make the choice to stop hurting her (yknow. intentionally lol). It just feels so strongly to me that Nol stands on the precipice, that he's going to make a choice he hasn't before? When he left Shinae in the rain, he was resigned to his choice (though was shaken up so much he ended up retching...) and this time, his regret seems to be shaking him a little, making him waver. It would be one thing if she decided to wipe her hands and go home, but if Nana gets to her and gives her that encouragement and reassurance... It's easier for him to accept her leaving as making the choice for hm. But if he has to keep pushing himself to make the "right choice", it's going to eventually wear him down, right?

I JUST WANT HIM TO ACCEPT THAT HE CAN'T MAKE CHOICES FOR PEOPLE. TO ACCEPT THAT IT'S BETTER TO BE HONEST THAN BOTTLE THINGS UP!!!!!!! I'm not begging him to tell her his past I'm just begging him TO REASSURE HER I'm begging him to FEEL DESPERATE in a healthier way lmao desperate in a way that makes him feel safer and secure, that makes her feel reassured, that makes them feel like a team!!!!!!!!!

I think you put it really well when you essentially said he needs to, to some degree, that responsibility for unintentionally dragging her into this - because no matter what he does, she's still going to be a part of it, and they might as well have each other's backs. He owes her that much lol. I know even if he explained it, she wouldn't hold him responsible for her involvement, anyway, but it's just the thought that counts lol. It's the way he keeps acting like abandoning her is the safest choice INSTEAD OF JUST! TEAMING UP WITH HER!!!! MY GUY PLEASE I AM JUST BEGGING YOU treat my girl better okay? I know you can. I KNOW YOU WANT TO. THAT'S THE THING!!!!!!

Again, I reiterate. HE LITERALLY WAS SO STRESSED AND UPSET BY THAT ALTERCATION WITH SHINAE HE WAS RETCHING. And NOW he's actually aware he has feelings, AWARE of the effect she's got on him, aware of what he wants. Before she even mentioned him leaving and got him crying (LMAO god when you think about it that way lmaoooooo) he was already asking her to dance in the most intense possible way lol CHANNEL THOSE FEELINGS BUDDY just ;~; Treat her right! Cos you are right lmao he's already got 2 strikes! And while I think Shinae will be more lenient than us SHE SHOULDN'T HAVE TO BEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

Anyway lmao just to repeat myself: this three-day extension feels significant, I'm hoping it's significant in the Nol making the decision to change his mind way and not the Nol making yet another choice that only hurts Shinae and further hurts them by leaving them vulnerable to Yui and her power when they could instead be stronger together. afljakfajkfjkf

ALSO LISTEN. /LIIIIIIIIIIIIIISTEN/ I have been DYING to talk about that post? It just lives rent-free in my brain, 24/7. I think about it so much WHAT WAS THE POINT OF DRAWING THAT, QUIMBERLY ANNE CHEE?! WHAT WAS THE POINT?! Like!!!!! afjafjafkjjf it sounds like she's been really busy, right? She's had her assistants off for different leaves has been occasionally having to take care of a lot of the work on her own. But she had some time to make a silly little sketch to torture us with?

(I mean, okay to be fair, she also did the April Fool's one, too......... LMFAO)

BUT LISTEN LIL ANON I JUST!!!!!!!!!! SCREAMS i feel so taunted I feel like she looked right into my stupid little soul and went "I'm gonna mess with your head SO HARD"

ALSO I HAD TO GO RUNNING BACK TO CHECK THAT POST AND YOU'RE RIGHT?! SHE'S /NOT/ SHRIEKS fljafafafjafljafjaflkjafkjafjk and you know what's even funnier? I DID THINK ABOUT THIS AT THE TIME! I remembered double-checking her outfits to see if it was the same day and going "okay this can't be real because that time passed" BUT NOW YOU HAVE ME GOING WHAT IF WHAT IF WHAT IF LMAO heck.

FLKAFJLKFJKAF NO YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE?! WHEN I WENT TO SEARCH I STUMBLED INTO THINGS THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN 2, WHICH I HAD FORGOTTEN /ALL/ ABOUT probably to protect my fragile, tender little soul FLJAFKJAFJK LMAOOOO SCREAMS i'm about to start swinging from the rafters and it's your fault LMAO AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH WHY DOES QUIMCHEE DOOOOOOOOOOOO THIS LMAO

Now i'm just. Gonna. Sit here and stare at a wall and think about these things lmaooooooooo

Wait NO I got sidetracked!!!!!!!!!!

You raise a really important point about how Nol is likely to be affected by what he learns from Yujing's scoop - especially if it's so that yes, his time in the mental facility was far more like conversion therapy as far as turning him on himself and seeing something horrible where it didn't exist and, to some degree?, brainwashing him? Because how does he reconcile the truth with what he believes? (Hey, that sounds familiar... any advice, Kousuke?) How does he contend with the grief of learning WHAT possibly really happened to his mother? Because listen, I stress this point again. I lost a friend to suicide and it's been almost five years and it still hurts me to think about. But part of my making peace was understanding that he was in so much continual pain, so much misery, that it was the only option he saw for himself. That's SO difficult to accept, because especially as friends, especially as someone who cares about him, you want to believe that things would have gotten better, that it wasn't always going to be that kind of misery. In Nol's mind, he has probably made "peace" (used loosely because BOY it's not peace) with the idea that in some way, he drove his mother to it (or that his existence did it). Especially if they argued, if he said something hurtful as children sometimes do. So how do you contend with the reality that it wasn't a choice at all? Death is a terrible, painful thing to grieve in whatever way, but sometimes I think you can kind of understand WHY someone made that choice, even if you don't agree with it, even if you wish they never had. But murder? Murder feels far more senseless. Murder is someone ELSE making a choice to take someone's life.

And whether or not Yui got her hands dirty, if she slipped Nessa something, if she was on a medication that pushed her into it, if it was something staged, the point still stands that IF it was not Nessa's choice, that means someone ELSE made the choice, and that is just senseless and cold and right I don't know what it would do to him? As much as fandom wants to see anti-hero Nol go on a quest for revenge to destroy those who destroyed him, I do get scared of the idea that he might go too far, and in his quest for revenge he could become the very monsters that tore him up, and god I don't want that. That feels SO BLEAK and, frankly? heartbreaking? lol I think that IS the kind of thing that could possibly ruin ILY for me, because I guess I'm so invested in the idea of Nol being able to heal and move on from the past and, idk, create a new journey for himself? lol I mean, I've definitely had the thought of Nol starting to go too far and Shinae being able to be that tether to his humanity, of reminder of the good in a world a dark and maybe that could stop him from succumbing to that kind of darkness?

But yeah.... thinking about it, I can see how it would start a quest for revenge. I like to hope that it would be more something that can piggyback off of Yujing's article, because we've talked before about how it's likely that this will only be the tip of the iceberg, it won't completely dethrone Yui, it won't completely take her down. But maybe, yeah, it could piggyback off it in terms of them fighting to make her and the Kims pay for their dirty deeds, to get the deserved retribution, without going down a path too dark to return from???

I think that quote is absolutely GORGEOUSLY Nol-centric, but my GOD I hope he's not a dying star. The mental image of him a burning star is SO tragically incredible BUT MAN more than ANYTHING I want him to retain the parts of him that we saw in Nessa, that we see in Yeonggi. I want him to maintain that humanity aaahhhhhhhh oh man this really tapped into some strong feelings!

#I Love Yoo #ILY Brainrot #ILY Ask #ILY FP #ILY Spoilers #Lil Anon #Shinae Yoo #Nol #Nolan Oliver T. Lochlainn #Stalkyoo #Aegi #not really discussing the shippy stuff this time entirely but it's a continuation of my last post #so it applies to some degree lol #Alyssa Cho #Yui Hirahara #Nessa Hirahara #suicide cw #like not just MENTIONING or talking about a character's suicide but also talking about my own grief about a friend's suicide #just in case anyone needs a heads up about that kind of thing #i kept it brief though!!!!!!!!!#this response is so funny lmao lil anon just knows how to get me worked up LMAO i always love your asks #literally gonna picture a lil chibi strip of shinae and her powerpoint presentation all day lmao #'divided? bad! we get hurt!'#'teaming up? good! strength! you big man! me smol person. hard carry!'#lafjkajfjkafkjafjkafkjafj someone draw this for me PLS i just have this specific image in my head? shinae is wearing the bandana her face i #stern. she is PRESENTING LIKE HER LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. nol is edgy boy refuses to be swayed except he can't help it #'TOGETHER WE CAN DEFEAT THE HAG'#also did you know that hags are apparently featured in Irish mythology? as in like that's a specific point?#i don't think that's actually tied to this story at all lmao i was just trying to look into some specific lore #like witches being melted by water lmao

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