#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue}

[erehin]

thought experiment time.

let's suppose for a second that the manosphere arguments on the loneliness epidemic among men and the "crisis of masculinity" are both empirically true and genuine cause for concern (I don't think that any of these issues apply only to men, but we're playing along).

the first obvious question is, "what do you expect for women to do about this?" but this is an issue that constantly gets brought up without any kind of proposal for a solution other then I think to eat more protein and perpetuate more body dysmorphia among men but I digress. I want to go a bit deeper rather then stopping at this point.

so often it's now getting cited that women are consistently outperforming men academically and have begun to outcompete men for college-level education completion and are beginning to tip the scales now in income earned on average and that this is leaving men in a void of not having access to women who have higher education then them.

but here's what I want to talk about. the narrative here is something akin to, feminists show up from out of no where and for no reason start pushing women to adapt what were once traditionally masculine traits of things like investing in yourself in your early life, being ambitious, setting personal goals etc. and for some reason it seems like all the manosphere dudes take this as affront to masculinity because they have artificially constructed a world where women's success and men's success are a zero sum game, but again I'm digressing.

I think what absolutely none of these manosphere dudes realize is that the messaging on traditional femininity never stopped. we all have continued to be conditioned to serve the well-being of others, to organize our relationships around empathy and compassion, to see everything from everyone else's perspective before our own, etc. the ambition was piled on top of that. and we have kicked ass at achieving it, apparently, at least from the manosphere's perspective.

so here's my point.

what the manosphere has proposed as a solution to this supposed crisis of masculinity and loneliness epidemic has never once been take a queue from the girls and try to learn empathy as a skill set on top of the social conditioning that you're already getting as a man. the answer is 100% of the time to double down on developing their individual identity, self-improvement, personal routine stuff. if women have succeeded by adopting our strategies from before then the only answer is to build new strategies because we can't look to women as leaders, we have to reinvent the wheel now if we want to establish our new identities. and like dudes we want so badly to help you. all the time we're like yeah, it's hard with technology all the isolation we all deal with, it's hard to succeed at work, it's a lot of pressure to find a path, and the answer is always you couldn't possibly understand because you're not a guy. and like ok but do you not see the irony of complaining about the loneliness epidemic and having poor relationships and literally rejecting any help or sympathy or compassion from anyone? what is it you expect us to do? if you struggle to form intimate relationships (both platonic and romantic) is it really wild to work on your relationship building skills? why are you doubling and tripling down on self help and manosphere podcasts and body building when all of those are activities you do primarily alone?

the truth is the podcasters have a lot to gain from your isolation and women genuinely want to help you connect with other people and if you'd focus 1/10 the amount of energy into developing your interpersonal skills as you spend on developing yourself, you'd probably have friends and a girlfriend and maybe even an established life. I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this.

#feminism #toxic masculinity

[literaticat]

Hi! Real question. Not being snarky. Why does it take MONTHS for editor/publishing contracts to be done? What are the agents and editors actually doing?

I mean we'd all love it to be faster. The bottleneck is not generally happening with agents and editors.

Here's how it goes. (Picking numbers absolutely out of thin air, I have no idea what the actual numbers would be and I imagine it varies!):

You have a publishing house, right? In the kids division, let's say there are six imprints, with six to ten editors each. There are new book acquisitions weekly for sure, probably multiple, at each imprint. Let's say 1-2 books gets through acquisitions at each imprint every week, so between 6-12 new books across the board. We'll aim high and assume 12 new books get offers, which some are accepted some are not, and say they end up moving forward with 8 new books per week across these 6 imprints.

First -- before accepting! -- the editor and agent negotiate a deal memo (this is the basic thing that says all the "big picture" terms such as advance, royalties, etc.). Sometimes things have to be approved by the financial folks, etc. Once the deal memo is complete and we have officially accepted the offer, the editor sends all the paperwork to the contracts department. It is now out of both of our hands.

The "contracts department" may consist of like... two people, and an utterly overwhelmed assistant. They are SWAMPED. They are DYING. They are, I have to assume, trapped in windowless cells doing a painstaking job that requires lots of attention to detail and is utterly thankless and probably getting yelled at by assholes all the time. (I'm so sorry, contracts people, I LOVE YOU, and I don't thank you ENOUGH! You should all get raises!)

So each contract takes time to draft. They can be 20, 25, 30 pages long (or longer!). Each agency does have their own "boilerplate" which at least gives them a place to start so they aren't reinventing the wheel every time, but each book deal does have its own terms (as outlined in the Deal Memo) and there are new terms and bits of wording being changed and asked for all the time -- for agencies like mine, with a lot of business at certain publishers, the contracts people and the agents are basically in a constant conversation, making sure that new terms are being carried over properly, etc etc. It's a nit-picky thing, they are comparing multiple contracts with one another at a granular level, it just takes a long time. No I don't know how long - but I know it takes ME hours to even read them, so I would imagine it's at least a solid half-day with no interruptions to draft them.

Once the contract is drafted, it gets sent to the agent, who carefully reads it and makes notes, those notes get sent back to the contracts person, who carefully reads them and responds, there may be a little more back and forth, finally we get a final contract that can be signed.

(This whole process might, in a fast world, take 1-2 weeks, because the agent ALSO has a queue of things and needs a solid half-a-day to do the notes, and when the notes get back to the contracts person, they go into the notes queue, then the agent needs to re-read the final version, etc. But it could for sure take longer than that. I would not be surprised if it took a month just for a normal contract with all the back-and-forth, and if there are significant changes being asked for, it might literally take months as each side has to get lawyers and such involved to make sure the wording makes sense, etc. This is pretty rare but it DOES happen.)

So back to our bottleneck. The big number of editors filter a ton of submissions into 8 books that are moving forward, those 8 books get filtered to 2 contracts people -- each of those contracts people might be able to realistically do, say, 2 draft contracts per week and 2 notes/final contracts per week. One of them went on vacation once, and both of them have had COVID this year, so unfortunately they are always backed up, and can never actually catch up, because there are more coming in every week than they can possibly do and there's already a queue.

So... That's why contracts take so long. Sorry. Everyone is doing their best, I promise.

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Damian: [Offended] You think I’m only worth $500.000?

Kidnapper: What?

Damian: Give me that! [Takes the phone] Make it 1 billion and we can think about it!

Tim: [On the phone] DAMIAN, SHUT THE FUCK UP!

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: unknown #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #Tim Drake #Red Robin

[incorrectprimeval]

Danny: small creatures are way more vicious because their anger has less space to be bottled up in.

Becker: that’s ridiculous. give me examples.

Sarah: Wasps.

Abby: Spiders.

Connor: Abby.

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: Unknown #Connor Temple #Abby Maitland #Danny Quinn #Sarah Page #Hilary Becker #Primeval #Primeval New World

[incorrectkingdomcome]

Mar'i: Oh, you're mentally unstable? Name three colours you've dyed your hair!

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: twitter #mar'i grayson #nightstar #Kingdom Come #The Kingdom #kingdom titans #Earth 22

[incorrectalice]

Alice: [Calling Jack] WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU TWO? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU FOR HOURS.

Jack: Oh yeah we went to a bar, had a good time, then got into a bar fight, so we left and uh...

Hatter: [Mouthing] Escape room.

Jack: ...We went to an Escape Room.

Alice: WHO THE FUCK GOES TO AN ESCAPE ROOM AFTER A BAR FI-- you're in jail aren't you.

Hatter: [Picking a lock in the background] IT'S A ROOM AND WE'RE TRYING TO ESCAPE!

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: Unknown #Alice Hamilton #Jack Heart #The Jack of Hearts #The Prince of Hearts #Hatter #David Hatter #Alice (2009) #Syfy Alice #Alice Syfy #Alice 2009

[incorrect-blackwell]

Owen: [Throwing rocks at Laurie's window]

Laurie: You have a phone for a reason.

[Loud thud]

Laurie: Did you just throw your phone at my window!?

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: twitter #owen #laurie brekke #Owen/Laurie #The Blackwell pages #tbp

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Jon: How do I become a jellyfish?

Damian: Jellyfish have no brains. You're already pretty close.

Jon: Okay, WOW.

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: Facebook #Jon Kent #Superboy #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Damian: The Joker! My arch enemy!

Talia: I thought I was your arch enemy?

Damian: ... I have a life outside of you, Mother.

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: The Simpsons #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #Talia al Ghul

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Suren: I used a sharpie as eyeliner in the airport bathroom.

Damian: ...

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: Twitter #Suren Darga #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Jason: Keep a bunch of wrapped, empty boxes under the Christmas Tree. When a child misbehaves, throw one in the fireplace.

Damian: But what do I do when I run out of children?

Jason: Hold up...

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: twitter #Jason Todd #red hood #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Damian: [Giving Jason the finger] Sayonara asshole.

Jon: Were you just flipping off Jason?

Damian: [Surprised at being caught] What? No! No, I was just saying goodbye... you know there's more than one meaning to the finger.

Jon: Oh cool. Like Aloha?

Damian: Yeah, like Aloha.

Jon: [Flips off Damian] Aloha!

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Source: Locke and Key #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #Jon Kent #Superboy

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Colin: In high school, people were like, ‘What are your top 3 colleges?’ I was like, top 3 colleges? I thought I would be dead in a trunk with my hand hanging out of the taillight by now.

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: john mulaney #colin wilkes

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Damian: Does it look like I give a fuck about you?

Jon: You’re holding my hand and gazing into my eyes

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: unknown #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #Jon Kent #Superboy

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Olivia: Your parents would describe you as...

Damian: ... Their son.

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #source: unknown #olivia queen #black canary #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin

[incorrectdcnextgen]

Damian: Whatta you say we cut to the chase? You're father is Superman, my father's best friend, and he wants us to be all buddy buddy -- I get it, I do. But, you see, every single time I shake my magic 8 ball and ask it, "Are we gonna be best friends forever?" do you know what it says?

Jon: No.

Damian: "Outlook is buh-leak."

Jon: Well, Damian, you really can't trust those things. I mean, when I was nine, I asked mine if I should crack it open and drink the fluid inside; I puked blue for, like, three days!

#Don't reinvent the wheel {Queue} #Submitted by: Smallblueboyscout #Damian Wayne #Damian al Ghul #robin #Jon Kent #Superboy