#HOW DO YOU ZHANNA EVEN | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

scoutsbabygirl · 8 months

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I would like to see headcanons from you about how your favorite mercenaries realize that they fall in love with the reader :333

🎷🐛

my first request! hi my little meow meow! i wrote for all the mercs bc why not?! fluff below the cut! also written in headcannon form! idk how to write for soldier (i just don't see the appeal)

scout:

-why did ms. pauling have to be lesbian???

-when you came along he was immediately drawn to you, maybe it was because you were new and young

-he's way too cocky around you and acts like he doesn't care about you

-after a stern talking to by spy, jeremy decides to ask you out

-other than sports, jeremy loves to paint and draw and is surprisingly good at it. he asks you to make some art with him and of course he draws you

-this melts your heart and you've fallen for him. he's just waiting for the right time to confess and ask you to be his

soldier:

-man has zhanna

pyro:

-hearing you say "you're all good! no worries!" after he lights the hem of you shirt, almost burning you alive. he feels a spark...literally

-pyro slinks around you where ever you may be. in the kitchen baking? pyros throwing flour all over the kitchen. working out? pyros cheering you on. got some spare time? pyros got some crayons, colored pencils and a bunch of coloring books

-spending time with a masked man that the team fears has him drawn to you. the mercs warned you about him, you never felt intimated by pyro yet understood yet you could understand why he was treated differently

-if you're ever sad he will give you the best comfort. he's never shown himself to the mercs but once he sees you cry the mask is coming off and expect kisses to be planted over you

-its a very intimate moment and he just admits it then. he's never had anyone love him back, he's always been depicted as a monster.

heavy:

- won't approach you first. he waits for you to make a move. he knows his size is intimidating in itself and doesn't want to scare you away.

-he's a gentle giant. he's very careful with his words and movements. he's so paranoid that you'll view him as something he's not on the inside.

- one night you cooked with him and he told you all about his life back home, showed you photos of his sisters and taught you basic russian (assuming you don't know any already)

-if you speak russian he'll be over the moon or if you use the simple russian he's taught you he loves you just a little bit more. he adores your accent when you stumble over certain pronunciation. he knows you're the one for him

-when he decides to confess he handwrites you a long poem with an russian to english translation on two separate pages. after he signs his name he writes that he won't bring this up unless you do

-please don't break his heart. he's so sensitive

demo:

- when he confesses he's drunk as fuck. he doesn't even remember when you bring it up the next day.

-is so embarrassed. he's hungover and groggy. he plays it off by acting defensive. "i was just drunk! i meant nothing by it!"

-in the inside he's freaking out. he wanted to plan it out. it's only been 7 or 8 months since you've been at teufort but he fell so quick for you.

-3am outside pointing at the constellations, telling you about old celtic, scottish myths and folklore, shit talking the other mercs, and an accidental kiss on the lips he caught feeling for you right then and there.

- he's willing to give up scrumpy just to have you reciprocate the same feelings for him. 🤞

engineer:

-lord, he used so many pet names with you; "check this out, sweet pea", "you look beautiful, darling", "i made pancakes, you want any hon?"

-he knows his voice with a combination of his pet names do something to you. he loves when you call him those names back!

-compliment his cooking! bbq is his specialty! he'll gladly eat up anything you make. hungry boi :3

-he loves when you spend time with him in his workshop, working on his little metal trinkets warms his soul. he tries to teach you about the intricate parts of engineering. it's okay if you don't understand, he's more than willing to break it down for you and teach you a bite-sized version quantum mechanics

-friday night. a few beers in. a lot of work finished. "(y/n), i know i'm a bit older and dusty at the whole romance thing but" he pauses "you ain't seeing anyone right now, are you?"

medic:

-he either falls in love with you the second he lays his eyes on you or it takes many, many months for him to catch feelings for you. regardless, of how long the process takes his love for you becomes an obsession.

-you begin lingering around his office, inquiring about his tools and weapons. he finds it very interesting that you're not startled by him and his... unethical ways of "doctor assisted suicide"

-internal battles with his conscience. does he want to rip your organs out and shove them in the wrong places? he wants to slice your arteries one by one. yes, he wants to cut your jugular and see how much you bleed before dying. alas, he won't. you're too beautiful to be cut up into pieces. he doesn't want you to die by his hands, he doesn't know what he would do with himself.

-"guten morgen, wie gehts?!" has him weak. just a simple phrase you've rehearsed a few times. you though he would appreciate you taking time out of your day to learn his native tongue. he thinks this is your way of flirting with it (and perhaps it is).

-occasionally he'll call you into his office, not for a checkup by any means but rather just to chat (on company time). he removes the gloves and runs his hands over the scars on your face and neck. "schätzelein, i have been feeling some way for a while."

sniper:

-he is such a cunt. he's so rude and bitchy to you. his attitude causes you to avoid contact with mick at all costs and he avoids you like the plague. he spends a lot of time in his van anyways so staying away from you isn't too hard.

-seeing you hurt breaks his heart. he decides to visit you in medbay after your broke your arm. the baboo uterus experiment procedure wasn't finished by the time you got hurt. you notice how out of character it is but appreciate it regardless. he brings you a little necklace made with animal teeth (him making jewerly with animal bones is the most canon-noncanon headcanon.)

-after you get a cast you ask him to sign it. next to his name he writes a little heart. then scribbles it out. and draws a skull underneath it.

-butterflies in his stomach when he lays eyes on you. he hates that he's gotten feelings for you. you're his teammate, not his partner. not yet atleast. no? why is he thinking like this.

-it's obvious that mick is touch starved of attention, he want to be validated and appreciated. he's also getting shit from his teammates so when you begin to stand up for him and complimenting him he looses his mind.

"scout, you're being mean. no wonder you have no dad, i would leave too. " "he's not ugly at all. you're old and its evident enough in those wrinkles of yours."

-oh god. who knew a petite little thing like you could spit venom. he wants to tell you how he feels so badly but he doesn't want to loose you as a friend.

spy:

-he'll flirt with you before even developing feelings for you. always trying to court you, inviting you over at late hours. he just wants to get laid tbh.

-you're playing hard to get. it excites him a bit but he's much older now so if anything he's annoyed that you won't sleep with him. he tries being more romantic and pushes idea the idea of getting with you sexually and takes a different approach.

-smoking on his red velvet couch until the sun begins to rise, sharing cigs together. he has a small stash of weed (he stole it from scout) but coughs when he smokes it, earning a plethora of giggles from you. now he's smiling and laughing with you despite his lungs being filled with smoke.

-stacks of guy de maupassant on his table near the red couch, he reads the love poems to you and translates it to you. please snuggle up into his chest and try to read the french words yourself. your pronunciation is horrible and your accent is awful. you sound so cute yet so pathetic at the same time.

-he tries to keep his feelings hidden for as long as he can. of course, it slips out. he's stopped wearing the balaclava when around you (and only you, even his own son doesn't know what he truly looks like) so the bright red blush is evident on his face. he tries taking back what he said but there's no use as your already face first into his chest.

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littleguyconnor · 3 months

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In retaliation let’s do some sweet and lovey-dovey hc’s.

Engineer- You’re already an old married couple on the first date. It’s that kind of domestic, easygoing bonded-for-life kind of love. He may not be particularly flashy about his romance, but damn if he doesn’t make you feel like the most loved and adored person on the planet. Loves to explain his projects with you and enjoys having your company in the garage. Cooks a MEAN breakfast, I just know it.

Scout- He’d absolutely adore you! Helplessly in love immediately. He’s not very experienced and Little dumb about the whole thing, but he’s trying his absolute best. He’d be so devoted to making sure you’re happy and comfortable. Terrible at cooking but would try anyway just for you. He’d like taking you out, even if it’s just to a fast food restaurant. He’d follow you around everywhere like a dog. Terrible at flirting but somehow they work anyways.

Sniper- Not great with words but would definitely show his affection for you physically. I have the feeling he’d prefer softer, more domestic kinds of bonding and dates, like cuddling by the fire or dancing to the music on the radio in the kitchen. He’s kind of clumsy and not well aquatinted with having someone else in his life, but he’d also try his best to make you feel loved. Likes to show off his skills in an attempt to impress you.

Demoman- The most loyal partner you’d ever have. He’d be such a sweetheart, always telling you how grateful he is to have someone like you. Definitely uses cheesy pickup-lines because he thinks it’s the pinnacle of romance. He’s the kind of guy to wear a suit when meeting your parents for the first time. And even though he can’t stop drinking or else he’ll literally Die, I think he’d try and cut back on it a little to spend more time sober with you. Would also def teach you how to make bombs.

Heavy- Just So emotionally intelligent. He’d be the most attentive partner on the PLANET. A great listener, would always make time for you if you were struggling or needed something, it wouldn’t matter what he was doing. Despite his tremendous strength he’d be so gentle and kind with you, he’d love carrying you around and cuddling. A great cook, always loves to make dinner with you. If it was cold outside you wouldn’t EVER leave the house without a jacket; he’d be horrified if you ever got sick! He’d make you feel safe in any situation.

Soldier- Everything he did for Zhanna he’d do for you. Devoted and so in love it makes him look stupid. Would pull the dandelions from someone’s yard to give to you as a bouquet.

Medic- Oh he’d love you so much. Constant praise and affection, he’s so proud and supportive of anything you do. If he got busy with work and couldn’t spend time with you he’d absolutely make it up to you later, a dinner date, just spending time to cuddle, whatever. He’d do anything. Would use the fact that doves bond for life as an allusion to your relationship. If you somehow got sick around him, he’d never leave your bedside. He’d constantly check in on you and do everything he could to make you feel better. Not the greatest with words when it comes to dealing with someone who’s sad, but he’d try so, so hard for you. Excellent to hug. Spy- He’d dote on your every second you were with him. So loving, so kind, so attentive, he’d do absolutely anything to make sure you were happy. Absolutely knows how to make you feel special and sweep you off your feet. Slow dancing, dinner dates at a fancy restaurant, candles and rose petals, flowers, the whole nine yards. If you were on a date together you’d be his sole priority, he’d devote the whole night to you. Very sappy, would definitely use petnames for you. If you were insecure about yourself he’d let you know what he loves about every single part of you. Compliments and sweet gestures galore.

#medic team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 spy #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #tf2 engineer #tf2 soldier #tf2 sniper #tf2 demoman #tf2 scout #This is in relation to that “red flags post”. You know who you are.#long post #tf2 headcanons

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misaldragon · 3 months

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The mercs (and others) red flags.

Saw someone else do a post like this, hated it, decided to give it a try at it. Please keep in mind this is my personal list so if you don’t agree with something that’s a-okay. I welcome constructive criticism and questions.

Scout: Talks to people who aren’t there (See the comic where Zhanna tried to bed scout), major ego (to be fair he is god's favorite but still), will pick a fight with someone for you (If you have social anxiety like i do you’ll want to shrivel up and disappear), kills people (this is just going to be a given with all the mercs), and dates might be cheap due to him spending all his money on Tom Jones merch (Scout may set aside money for dates with you if you say you want to go somewhere else though but man cannot buy a house for the two of you).

Soldier: Man is as dumb as a bag of rocks (he drank led water cut him some slack… Also dumb enough to fall for just about any scam), like scout he will also fight someone for you but be much louder and bombastic about it (please i just was to not exist, no, don’t fight the dad in front of his kids), VERY proud american (as an american, this country sucks), and will yell at you, other people, anyone, that baby in the stroller? Getting yelled at! (Generally very loud person and doesn’t care who you are… Also kills people).

Pyro: Do you collect bones? You do now (Due to Pyro vision bones are probably candy or flowers or something to Pyro… They have good intentions but my god is it scary/creepy if you don’t know about Pyro vision), bones might be animal or human bones and also general body parts (Pyro vision again), will not shower around you.. Do they shower (they don’t want to be seen without their suit on but will let you clean the suit with them in it), and will probably steal your lighters (this is going off a hunch but also stealing is not something i like… Also kills people).

Heavy: Works very closely to Medic a lot of the time (and Medic is… A lot), VERY happy to do his job (and since his job is killing people this can be concerning), maybe a bit too attentive to his guns (can certainly be off putting to see a minigun in a small bed next to a larger one), and he was out of touch with his family (as shown in the comics when he's worried about his family only to find out they have been defending themselves just fine).

Engineer: Probably a workaholic so he may forget dates (note, he’ll also do his best to make it up to you if he does and start setting up reminders for himself he’s just not used to being in a relationship because of his job), makes southern sweet tea (as someone who lives in the south i know how sweet our tea is, if you don’t want cavities from looking at a drink don’t let him make sweet tea for you), probably shot at you before (mans paranoid because of spies, don’t sneak up on him), and would pressure you to ride a bull (mechanical or not but he’d prefer it to be mechanical and one he made to make sure it’s not to much, still won't take no for an answer when it comes to this only… Also kills people).

Demoman: Substance abuse (alcohol, congrats to the original you got one right), probably mommy/daddy issues (his mom seems to be an angry elderly woman, dad is dead so it seems there's something there but that could just be me), believes in monsters/ghosts (i don’t but given how the world of TF2 works this is more a IRL issue), has probably blown himself up at least once (possible that he might blow you up if he's REALLY drunk… Also kills people).

Medic: This man is a walking red flag, made a deal with the devil more than once, stole his pet doves, stole a wedding van, puts animal organs in people, manipulative (mostly seen with the tfc team when he had to manipulate them to put animal organs in them), stole a man's skeleton, medical malpractice, probably not mentally well, will take your organs, and kills people… Probably not all of it either.

Sniper: Can skin any animal or even person flawlessly and tell you how too (creepy, and i don’t want to know), very good stalker and hunter (he does this with you because he wants to surprise you with something you like but conversation is his weak point so this is the next best thing in his mind), Pyro isn’t the only one that’ll bring you animal bones (at least he’s a bit more tactful about it, making it into actual stuff like alligator teeth necklaces, deer antler coat hanger, and snake bone coasters for a few examples), probably doesn’t shower as much as he needs to (at least he brushes his teeth… Also kills people)

Spy: Will eventually leave you like he did all his other partners (which we can see with Scout's mother since he didn’t help raise Scout), is french (must i explain?), secret past (will keep as much of his past a secret as he can but also find out everything about you he can), and he never fully trusts you (he’s a spy, it’s understandable but sad.. Also kills people).

Miss pauling: Does not have time for you (unless you join her on missions but that is a large order), doesn’t fully trust you (this is from vibes), cannot fully devote herself to you or the relationship (her loyalty is to the administrator), can kill you without anyone noticing (its just scary to think about).

Saxton hale!: Can and will fight people for you even if the person just looked at you funny ( the police have been called several times), will fight a hippy just because they are a hippy (He really likes fighting), willingly and knowingly sells weapons to mercs (man can kill and condones it), will jump out of a plane with you… you have no choice.

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 scout #tf2 medic #tf2 demoman #tf2 spy #tf2 soilder #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 pyro #tf2 heavy #tf2 miss pauling #tf2 saxton hale

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blubushie · 2 months

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ngl, the tf2 fandom really is the man fandom. so much of the misogyny i've seen slips under the radar. i once saw a popular (???) artist whose art i enjoy say that they won't draw female characters and they don't find miss pauling and zhanna particularly interesting and that just.... sits horribly with me.

Oath. I don't have much to add cuz you hit the nail on the head. It really is.

I can understand the focus on the teams because our main characters are all men (excepting Pyro, we don't know what he is to be sure) but the fandom can still do without the misogyny. And we do have compelling female characters even if we don't know too much about them.

It astounds me because I've seen people swoon over Sniper's character of a devoted professional and praise him for the level of focus he has to maintain and how professional he is, but then turn around and call Pauling boring and a stick in the mud because she's ALSO a devoted professional—moreso than Sniper even. The woman gets one day off a year. I don't see how you can praise a male character for one thing and then scorn a female character for the same thing unless you're a misogynist.

#blu whos #sniper tf2 #miss pauling #tf2

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imagination-overreaction · 3 months

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I've been really into Team Fortress Two lately, and seeing as I cannot get the Actual Fic Writing to go, I wanted to do a little character analysis thing as a silly, so here's my favorite tf2 pairings and how i think they'd act:

Soldier x Spy / Freedom Fries

This ship is utter chaos and honestly I love it. There's a lot of light, passive-aggressive bullying (from Spy) and a lot more heavy, just plain aggressive bullying (from Soldier) and they may seem like they want to kill each other at points. However, neither one of the two will hesistate to mow down anyone who threatens the other.

Spy is stuffy with how he shows affection, especially when there's witnesses. Maybe he moves past him a little too closely and brushes his hand on Soldier's arm as he does. Maybe he hides a small smile as he rolls his eyes at what idiotic thing his partner says. Maybe he doesn't immediately call Soldier stupid to his face when he really really wants to, because he's trying so hard. These quiet attempts at passive affection are ruined by Soldier being the antithesis of subtle, in every way imaginable.

Going off of how Soldier is with Zhanna in the comics, I wouldn't say Soldier is the most verbally affectionate person, but his constant antics and comments and death-defying combat skills would certainly help to pry Spy out of his shell just a little bit. I also think that Spy would teach him how to do a few openings on his butterfly knife. Soldier would get the quickdraw down, and possibly the basic opening. Jury's out on anything more complex than that.

Engineer x Medic / Science Party

Evil mad scientist x Morally questionable tech genius. There is no universe where this ship is bad. Well... it can end badly for other people if their forces combine, but that's how it is.

Long, coffee-filled nights in the lab, each one taking turns to listen to their partner's incomprehensible speeches full of science jargon. They nod, half understanding as the other points to different blueprints or medical diagrams, explaining concepts far beyond their own paygrade, and only mostly hold themselves back from interjecting about their own project that would go wonderfully with this one.

The night Engineer finally starts crashing from exhaustion he goes down to where Medic is in the lab and asks when he's coming to bed. Medic, being Medic, says some shit like "Oh no I don't sleep, I removed that part of my hypothalimus years ago."

Engineer says "Alright darlin', see you tomorrow," before kissing him on the head, going to bed, and not worrying about what a hypothalimus is nor how Medic is even still alive at this point.

Does Engineer somehow dodge Medic's request to be some sor tof test subject? Maybe, but there's the even higher possibility that Medic was requested to assist with Engineer's mechanical hand.

Heavy x Medic / Red Oktoberfest

What is there to say that hasn't been said already, by authors far better than i?

Evil mad scientist x All-too-willing test subject that could also crush this scientist like a bug if he chose (but he doesn't. He doesn't, because he loves this doctor). No notes, 10/10, moving on.

Sniper x Spy / Bloody Suit

Also called Spyper, which is the best ship name ever made imo.

Same Spy characterization as before, but instead of the extreme of Soldier it's the general curmudgeony attitude of Sniper. There's also a lot of bullying in this one, probably more than there is with Freedom Fries because Sniper is also not passive aggresive, he just likes to pick on Spy to get a rise out of him, and Spy likes to pick on Sniper to get a rise out of him, and so on and so forth until something is broken and they're either aggresively arguing or aggresively making out. Who's to say.

There's so many possible ships and honestly? I haven't seen a single one I could automatically dismiss (other than Scout/Spy, but Scout & Spy as a familial relationship is good). I wanna do more of these as I find more ships I like, obviously I didn't even mention anything with Demo, Pyro, or Scout, and I barely mentioned Heavy, but what can I say I'm biased <3

Part 2

#character analysis #headcanons #team fortress 2 #tf2 #sniperspy #engimedic #soldierspy #tf2 spy #tf2 soldier #tf2 sniper #tf2 engineer #tf2 medic #long post #feel free to suggest a tf2 ship i want more things to avoid homework with

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honkshoo-zzz · 10 months

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How I see the Mercs within the LBGTQ+ Community

cause i keep seeing people posting things and EVERYONE KEEPS GETTING IT WRONG!! /j who cares i jus wanna make a funky list too

Scout: Def Bisexual, Trans ftm (can take or leave)

Probably has a preference for women

Probably doesn’t realize he likes men until he works with them 24/7 and all of his coworkers are hunky n sweaty and maybe a lil flirty

If trans, used Sex Bom tattoo to cover top surgery scars. Even though it’s definitely just worse than just having ts scars lmao

Soldier: Bisexual and Poly

I just love him dating Zhanna and Demo honestly

Fuck it, other mercs too, if they wanted

Tbh I also fuck with aro/ace vibes for him, he’s just kinda around for a good time with the homies in my mind. Both is good

I do see his preference being fairly equal though. Too busy thinking about his love for the US to think too much about tiddies/ass/etc.

Pyro: Def Ace, and either Aro or Lesbian in my mind. Also Nonbinary.

Either gender-fluid or just straight-up no gender enby. no in-between in my eyes.

I’m mostly all for Aro/Ace Pyro but I saw some Pyro x Ms. Pauling art and. love that. ugh, decisions…

Feel like they use whatever pronouns. Don’t gaf, will never gaf

Also no sex cause the suit just doesn’t come off. Also too busy setting shit on fire to care. More important shit to do.

Demoman: Pansexual and Poly

Again, dating Soldier who is also dating Zhanna

He’s also in a longterm relationship with Eyelander. Don’t ask too many questions about how that works though. But they are.

Also doesn’t have a gender-preference (obviously, he’s married to a sword). Semi-opportunistic in that sense, I guess (again he’s married to a sword. how many times do i gotta—)

Heavy: Bisexual, preference for Men

Idk man but Heavy and Medic have been married for a long time in my eyes

Also I feel like he participated in his sisters’ longing to “see another man” while living in Russia, had a similar reaction to meeting Medic upon taking the Merc job as Zhanna meeting Scout/Soldier

(For those who have yet to read the comics, that reaction basically just being: “you are man. I am horny. let’s bang.” and Medic would just be like o///o “aight” I think)

Biggest trans supporter tho, idk why but it just makes sense he would be the first to punch the teeth out a transphobe. Defends other mercs when confronted about gender shit 100%

Engineer: Bisexual, preferring Women; ftm Trans

The more top surgery art I see of him, the more I fall in love with trans Engie. It’s basically canon to me now. You can take this from my cold, dead hands.

Idk not much else to say. He’s a switch, though, if that adds much of anything HXSKFJEJX

No bottom surgery in my mind, either. Just makes his own straps n shit, cause he can (one of his 11 PhDs was in sex, actually, did you know?)

Medic: Gay, ftm Trans (again, can take or leave)

The most bottom-gay I’ve ever seen, personally (idk how else to phrase it, forgive me)

Again, I feel like he’s been married to Heavy for a long time

If trans, did his own top and bottom surgery, probably at the same time, cause he knew he could and he’s fucking insane (scars are a little wild as a result but he wears them with pride)

Sniper: Gay. das it HFSKFJEK

Gay, but the type of guy where you’d never know til his fuckin boyfriend walks out and kisses him or sum

Also he’s exclusively a top in my mind. Idk why but I feel like he’s got control issues HHEEKLEDP

Again, not super out-spoken about his sexuality, but *will* go out of his way to stab a homophobe. Not kill them from a distance, specifically stab. Shit’s more personal that way (is that too morbid? sorry)

Spy: Bisexual, Genderfluid

Another bottom, but will top if needed (like with most women, if he somehow gets with *another* bottom, etc.)

He’s also a whore. A slut, even. Good for him.

OH AND GENDERFLUID omg. Saw some stuff about that recently so it’s new to my pea brain but I like it.

Again, like Sniper, I feel like he wouldn’t really talk about his gender stuff a lot, but would discover this of himself when disguising himself as women and just feeling. Just as comfortable, if not more comfortable as them at times.

Kinda sensitive about it, though, probably. Will stab anyone who mentions it while he’s figuring it out. But gets better upon meeting the mercs and their gay-asses, lmao

“holy shit it’s not that crazy to like to have boobs sometimes” type-beat.

ok i’m done. again feel free to add stuff, fight me (like, as a bro), or whatever. Love talking about it cause I love these lil weirdos. Probably too much. oh well hdkafjejfk

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cheemscakecat · 6 days

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Missing in Action 10

Chapter 10: Splitting Up

The hunt for Merasmus begins, with Scout and Spy left to hold down the base. They’ll be fine… right?

TW: Heavy angst. Spy is not in fact okay.

Ms Pauling briefed the team on a Merasmus lead. She said he mighta been training up in the Appalachian mountains to ruin Soldier and Zhanna’s wedding. She told Scout and Spy to stay at base, so someone could guard it while the others went after him.

Jeremy was glad that Soldier and Pyro weren’t staying at base; he’da been left to baby sit them alone, with Spy not feeling right and being new. Then again, this was a real threat to Soldier, so he wouldn’t have stayed put at base anyway. It looked like he was really taking this seriously, as far as Scout could tell.

Spy looked stiff for the whole briefing. Angry even. But Scout figured he was just on edge because of last night’s nightmare.

—————————

Heavy was glad that Pauling didn't waste any time. Zhanna was new to America and the most naive of his sisters. He could only hope that her training was real and useful to her.

He didn’t like her marrying Solider, but had to respect the man for wanting to protect her. And for trusting in her strength as well. Soldier was impatient to start the mission one he heard the briefing.

Heavy also wanted to avenge Spy, not just his sister. If that curse had not hit Spy, he may have already fixed things with Scout. At the least, the team boy would not have been so sleepless and ill with bottled tears.

It was time for answers. They packed up swiftly and got ready for one last stop on the way.

—————————

Spy and Scout were in no condition to go on this hunt, even if they could’a known the truth. Engineer couldn’t bear to leave Pyro in their care with everything goin on. He knew that if Pyro had to withhold fire, he’d be a much bigger threat to Merasmus when he was finally found. And Soldier was already ruthlessly ready.

The plan was to look for Merasmus and take any help or clues from the other magic users. Once they found their evil old wizard, they’d trap him for Pauling so she could question him.

They had Soldier call up Zhanna and the Holy Wizards to assist. Bein Merasmus’ Halloween playthings, they needed all the magical assistance they could get.

—————————-

Demoman and Sniper talked to Pauling in the ship. Sniper had also noticed Spy acting strange around her, and wondered if it was connected to that terrible nightmare. “The lad looked fierce the first time, but I was the only one who saw. Thought it was the scrumpy playin tricks on me eye.”

“He was like that at today’s briefing too. Not sure if theah’s something he hated Helen for, or if it’s just the nightmare problem.” They had to be vague with Soldier, Pyro, and Zhanna in the ship.

“I thought he sounded off, but you know how much I overthink. I just assumed it was me overthinking last time.” Pauling said. “The sooner we get Merasmus locked eway, the better. So we can puzzle out what to do.” “I agree. You guys have a battle put on hold until you get back, but after that we should investigate.”

——————————-

Medic kept a wide expanse between himself and the wizards. He wasn’t sure if they could sense his dealings with the Devil, but the way they were talking about the dark arts, he didn’t need them finding out. They focused on healing and growth spells, like planting new forests and healing herbs.

It was a bit surprising that they got along with Soldier so well, but nobody was complaining. They said that the Appalachians were enchanted to allow wizards to train and experiment without interruption. The practice was put into place during an uneasy peace between holy and dark magic users.

It was better to bring them along and risk his deal getting screwed up, than to get cursed or lost in the enchanted mountains. Soldier’s strange habit of attracting magic was coming in handy for once.

————————-

Heavy was surprised that the white wizards trusted Soldier to wander in the woods; when they got out of the ship, none of the magic users took issue with Soldier’s erratic behavior. Here he seemed to move with unexpected smoothness, as if he knew the land well.

Zhanna had been training under these men, so perhaps Soldier had learned how to act through her. Though Heavy didn’t notice too much difference in how the man was acting now. Pyro was being closely watched now that it was established he was not permitted to set the forest ablaze. Doktor was acting strange, like he was uncomfortable with the wizards being there.

The magic allowed them to travel undisturbed through wizard trails, hidden from that one BLU Scout and the other local people. Strange plants and animals were all around them, many of them being pleasant smelling and beautiful. Zhanna said she had been growing some of these flowers and vines for the wedding, and the wizards were making new hybrid plants for the desert.

The wizard with two points in his beard explained that the dark faction was very likely to kill unsuspecting locals for venturing too close to their lairs. The hidden trail magic and enchanted eerie feeling in this place was created by the light faction, to remove any excuse for such murders. It was accepted by the evil wizards for providing them privacy when they didn’t want to see non-magicians.

It also meant that they must be careful not to attack random creatures, in case they belonged to someone bloodthirsty. Only if they were attacked first, and the wizard magic failed them. Heavy was worried that Soldier would not follow that rule, but he was surprisingly unbothered by the magic birds and little creatures. He didn’t lash out to attack like anyone thought he would.

————————

Soldier jumped back as something huge ran across the path, growling. It was a giant raccoon, the size of an elephant. It looked like it was going to attack, but stopped. Doe swore he’d seen this one before. No, that didn’t-

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t the newly-weds.” Merasmus. Merasmus could bring things back to life. But Lieutenant bites and the other raccoons didn’t leave behind bodies, how could he have done this?

“Thought it was a shame to waste these savage little animals after you dodged my magic.” The wizard smirked. “Attack if you wish, it’ll only hurt them and you.” *******! He was using Soldier’s friends as a meat-shield! Doe couldn’t fight his raccoons like the other monsters, and they would not attack him. He didn’t know how to get back at Merasmus this time.

He stared out at the other wizards, looking bored and annoyed. “Stay out of this, goody-goodies. This man killed my innocent roommate and destroyed my lair many times. You’re on the wrong side.”

Soldier knew the other mercenaries weren't really on his side right now, but they cared about Zhanna. Everyone knew he was dumb, they just assumed he was too dumb to see how they looked at him. It had always been like that, with other kids, and teachers, and orphanage people. He didn’t know what the white wizards would do if they agreed with Merasmus. For once, he didn’t yell anything.

“Did you ever explain your rules?” Spice wizard asked. Merasmus looked annoyed. “What was there to explain? We were in a lair with normal human furniture, it’s not like I asked him to do magic. Any person should have had common sense-“ The white wizards launched magic at the raccoons that turned them back to normal. Lieutenant Bites jumped on Doe and bit him, his way of saying hello.

“I missed you too, Bites.” He choked out. The other raccoons abandoned Merasmus too, sitting next to the wizards and mercenaries without trouble. “You’ve got to be kidding me! Do you know what he’s like?!”

“Yes”. Said the tea wizard with the two tailed beard. “And I also know he’s a feral child Merasmus. And you know that common sense is not the same to them.” Zhanna stepped forward. “Did he kill Tom Jones before you threatened to kill everyone he loves?” Merasmus grumbled. “No..” Zhanna shrugged. “Then it vas returning favor, I think.”

“I forgot about that!” Demoman said. Soldier turned to look, and the whole team seemed just as surprised as Demo. “Come to think of it, yeah! Ye the one who be cursin us all each Halloween. Been doin that fer far longer than ye lived with Jones.”

It was times like this that Doe remembered Zhanna really understood him. Sometimes he worried that she would get fed up with him like everyone else, but right now he knew she wouldn’t. And the wizards didn’t get fed up with him, and the other men were trying to understand. Things were not so bad.

“Merasmus.” The old wizard general growled. “Did you target this man’s team over a death, or over property damage?”

————————

The necromancer started to stutter, sensing that the Holy wizards had turned against him. Medic knew they had to be stronger than him, in numbers alone. They joined hands with each other and Heavy’s sister, and started chanting.

The oldest wizard with the longest beard continued to talk. “Merasmus. By order of the Holy Herbologists, thou art sealed in these mountains forever! No more will you torment non-wizards in this or any other place with thy magic.” Some kind of glowing lock appeared on the necromancer, before disappearing.

“What?! What is the meaning of this, high master?” The wizard with the goatee and the sass piped up. “Well, since you decided to live in the desert amongst non-magicians, you caused conflict with this Soldier and his friends. This place is free to both Holy and Evil wizards to separate from the normal folk of this world, but you didn’t use it. It stands to reason that your travel privileges should be taken.”

Another wizard turned to everyone. “Even if he goes into the local towns, he’s blocked from using magic on the people there. So don’t worry, the civilians are safe too.”

—————————-

“Will he be able to wander very far?” Engineer asked. They would need to come back to get more answers if he wasn’t mistaken. “No, he’s locked into a certain acreage so we can monitor things. Why, is something else going on?”

Engineer whispered an explanation, apologizing for the secrecy before. They couldn’t tell all of the teammates.

“A dark de-aging spell and cruel nightmare… I’ve heard of this spell. In animals, it is not so difficult to undo, but when a human is cursed, only going through their life’s memories in order can reverse it. Your teammate needs to look through his old things, pictures, letters, anything like that.” Engineer frowned, and so did Heavy, who was listening too.

”Zhis Spy on our team, he is very private. And some of that is our fault for teasing him.” Engineer wasn’t surprised that Heavy regretted that camera prank. He wouldn’t be surprised if Medic did too. “Ve do not know vhere his things are, to help him.”

Soldier and Zhanna were chatting with each other romantically and noticed them all huddled to speak privately. “What’s going on?” “Wedding surprises.” They said in unison. That was enough to send the lovebirds on their merry way, thankfully. “I’m sorry, without something to remind him of his life in order, there’s no way to undo this curse. Many have looked for another cure, but it doesn’t exist.”

————————

Back in the ship on the way home, Soldier, Zhanna and Pyro had fallen asleep. Pyro had been allowed to burn something to calm his nerves of course. Heavy asked the wizards what a feral child was.

The answer surprised him. Apparently through Soldier and Zhanna, the wizards had learned that he was raised by feral raccoons. They said that he was not permitted to join the American military because of this feral nature.

“Some of these lost children are unable to adjust to civilization. They were taught the common sense of wild creatures in nature, human common sense doesn’t pair well with it.” The elder wizard explained. “But in any case, Holy wizards often meet this children, at a higher rate than normal humans. Merasmus is more than aware of the signs that someone is a feral child, but in all these years he did not report it. He chose revenge instead.”

Heavy was glad to know this, before he became even more disapproving of the marriage. They had all wondered why the soldier was so strange, and now they knew. They could get help from these wizards to make the base understandable to him, and Zhanna thankfully already knew. Things were finally starting to look up.

——————————

Scout really needed to talk to the other teammates in private. He wished they were back, Spy needed their help bad.

It started out weird but harmless enough. Spy looked off at nothing, wandering the halls and staring out windows for no reason. Jeremy wasn’t good at talkin about feelings, and he didn’t know what to say about Spy’s nightmare from the night before. But after a whole day of Spy acting really weird, he decided to check up on him.

Nobody was here to make fun of him for being weak, and nobody would have anyway. He was starting to wonder how much his brothers had ****ed up his brain, for him to be hesitatin in the empty base.

He visited new Spy in the smoking room that night. He was just sitting there, looking into the fire. His revolver was on the side table, but the barrel was open and clearly emptied of bullets. Spy was smoking a cigarette and holding a glass of wine. When he heard the door and Scout’s footsteps, he lifted the glass and looked in the reflection on it.

“Oh, hello. I was not expecting you.” Spy said, turning suddenly. This was wrong. Nobody else was there, he shouldn’t have been checking visitors with a wine glass either way. “Heh. Whaddya mean? We’re the only ones here right now…” There was something wrong in Spy’s eyes, but he couldn’t place it. Jeremy was getting another nasty gut feelin.

“You are a nice person, desert Scout.” He nodded once, still feeling uneasy. “Please close the door.” Jeremy did and looked around. “What’s wrong? Did a BLU Spy get in?” “No. Not BLU. Something worse, but I cannot say.”

“Spy, what’s goin on?” Jeremy asked. Spy went real quiet for a minute, too quiet. When he did look at him, he didn’t look right. “I’m going to die soon. That helicopter, it was no accident.” The room was warm from the fire, but Scout froze and felt a chill run down his spine. He hurried and sat down in a chair across from Spy.

“Someone’s after you? Who?” New Spy shook his head. “I cannot tell you.” “Well, I can’t sit back and ignore this. Who?” Spy stared into his drink, chugged it, and tried to shrug. “I had a false identity in Canada. Secret agent, their CIA. I came to RED when they got close to finding me out, to tracking me.” He stared at the fire.

“It seems they’ve found me.” Scout wasn’t the smartest, but that explanation was too simple, and too fast. Spy didn’t hesitate like when he talked about his kid. There had to be more to it than that. “What can I do to help?” “Let it happen. Don’t get involved, or you’ll be in danger too.”

“Hell no! Listen Spy- nobody in their right mind would cross Admin like that, and the others..” The others weren’t there. Spy thought he was getting silenced tonight. Jeremy didn’t know much about Canada, but he sure hadn’t heard of a Mob up there. He didn’t like this one bit.

“Admin… would prefer not to get involved. No use losing good mercenaries like you over me. So please…” Spy looked at him. “You must not try to stop it. This is why I did not want to say, I knew you’d want to.”

“I can’t do nothing, Spy. Listen, why don’t we just go to the camera room with some food and lock the door? Bring our guns, keep watch on the base… We can wait this out until the others get back and it’s too hard to target you again.” Spy didn’t look hopeful at all.

“When I.. When I die.” He pulled out a sealed envelope. “Give this to the Administrator. But don’t read it yourself, she wouldn’t like that.” Scout thankfully had two words to try to read in the fire-light. Divorce Papers.

“My ex… I want her to get my money when I’m gone. And I want Admin know that she was uninvolved in this matter, so she can tell the Canadians to stop at me.” He put his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. “Remember, whatever happens, my ex didn’t know anything.”

Scout stayed posted outside the smoking room all night. He didn’t know whether Spy was having another episode, or if this was real. And he wasn’t gonna take chances. The others had to know when they got back, the minute he could pull them aside and explain. This wasn’t right whether it was real or not.

Spy had been hesitant to talk about his kid. His ex had a two year old. They were in danger, and Jeremy was smart enough to know it. He didn’t believe that Canada story, Spy musta gotten in trouble with the mob or somethin. Somebody who was actually bloodthirsty, either way.

Scout had never heard of the mob infiltrating the Gravel War. The old Admin was too scary even for them. But Pauling was in charge now… they might have gotten the idea that it would fly with her in charge. Maybe Spy was a basket case, but somehow, Jeremy doubted it.

All he knew was that something was wrong, and the others needed to get back already.

#tf2 #dadspy #tf2 spy #tf2 scout #sad lad hours #angst fanfic

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tf2-oneshots · 10 months

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Can you do a sfw one shot of when heavy introduces medic to his family (besides Zhanna) ?

Ooh yes!!

Warnings: none!

Rating: General

Medic straightens his tie in the car before fixing his glasses. In his lap sits a bouquet of flowers he picked up earlier with Heavy. Reassuring himself that he looked fine, he turns to see Heavy opening his door for him. With a smile, the doctor steps out.

“Such a gentleman. How did I get so lucky, Misha?” The two share a kiss, chuckling at Medic’s playful tone. Hands clasped together, they walk onto the porch and enter the house.

“Was raised to treat lover well.” With their jobs as mercenaries complete, Heavy bought the home for his mother, Nadia. There, she spends her days babysitting grandchildren and enjoying the warm days in her rocking chair. A pleasant way to retire after years in the tundra.

“Mother? I have Doktor.” They walk down the hall where Nadia emerges from the kitchen. She takes off her apron, approaching Medic with a warm smile. She’s always dreamed of the day her precious son would bring someone home. No more worries about fighting and hiding in the wilderness. Now, Misha can enjoy his life.

“You must be Ludwig. My Misha always speaks of you.” The remark makes Heavy blush! She brings Medic into a hug before accepting her flowers. They look beautiful and miraculously match the carpet. Such a kind gesture of him.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that. It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.” Nadia ushers the two into the dining room where Zhanna, Yana, and Bronislava sit at the table. Zhanna welcomes them whereas her sisters rush over to greet the esteemed German.

“You are the handsome doctor brother mentions!” Yana gives him a hug while Bronislava looks over the man. He’s exactly as described. Tall, well built, and handsome as ever. Medic looks to Heavy only to see the man blushing even harder now.

“Sisters! Do not embarrass me…” Heavy groans as the two giggle and return to their seats. Quite the handful of siblings he has, but he loves them dearly. Seated at the table, Nadia sets dinner down. As dinner goes on, Medic is hit with endless questions. Where was he born? When did they meet? When will the wedding be?

“Aheh, I’m flattered to have your blessings so soon. We’ll be married soon enough. That I promise.” Little did either men know that they both had wedding bands stashed away, saved for the perfect moment.

#team fortress 2 #tf2 #tf2 requests #tf2 medic #tf2 heavy #heavymedic #red oktoberfest

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morskisir · 3 months

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i'm really curious why you dislike the comics? /genq /nm

ooooh the dreaded question. i can get really passionate about this (i care too much) so i'm going to be as brief and simple as i can. i'm aware many people enjoy the comics and that's fine. /gen you do you. like i said; i care too much

IMPORTANT DISCLAIMER: we have no clue how much time or dedication was given to the comics by valve; the poor writing isn't necessarily the fault of the writers and i have no personal beef with them! with that said, old man yells at cloud /ref under read more/keep reading.

the two main gripes i have with the comics are lack of planning and tone problems.

as i already said, the lack of planning- and therefore the poor writing- does not mean the comic team was incompetent (the art is quite good a lot of the time, actually), but this does mean it severely hurts the quality of the comics themselves. it's clear they aren't sure where they're taking this (as evident by whatever the fuck is going on with helen) and what the story is even supposed to mean. the tone goes hand in hand with the poor planning; the comics aren't sure whether they want to be purely comical and action-focused or a DARK comedy; having serious moments and themes in the story.

in the end, the serious moments come off as either manipulative (iykyk. i am not getting angry about this for 40 minutes again) or as if they're being made fun of (cough cough sniper).

they also struggle to really build up those moments, so sometimes it feels as if they just came out of nowhere. it's really jarring.

there's also just. not a lot of conflict between the main cast?? there isn't a lot of pressure put on pauling from the mercs via questioning her actions, etc. (we only slightly get this from spy. but like once) (i get that it's to show how much trust they have in her but, really? not a single thing?) (this could build up to like. a "grand betrayal" sort of thing but yknow. they didnt think about the build up to anything)

this is why i think making it JUST the RED team really hurts the story- they already have set dynamics and don't need to develop or sort through any conflicts they have with one another. medic only has conflict with sniper of all people. MEDIC. who went to join another team which was actively hunting his previous one.

the comics introduce conflict and new dynamics by straight up making up new characters?? as much as i love zhanna- she was primarily put into the story just to be soldier's love interest and have a fun dynamic with him.... i'm so sorry miss.

they could've done that with demo btw?? since demo and soldier are supposed to be friends?? unless actually the team differences DO matter (which the comics do not make clear at all, engie is randomly blue while the rest are red. okay. why? wouldn't you like to know.) so red soldier and red demo dont bounce off of eachother as much as blu soldier and red demo do.

i'm not formatting this at all but remember the poor planning? ahem. sniper timeline. why did you make him barely 30. i will fucking kill you he was always clearly meant to be, look, and sound like an old man. its in his concept art its in how he talks. raghghgh

they keep giving themselves problems by adding new characters cause then the main fucking mercs who people adore get no time for themselves (demo, pyro, scout, engie) they're just kinda......there. it sucks. but it's what we got, i guess. just how canon the comics are is questionable- but i don't care if they are.

it's free real estate i'm doing my own thing!!!!!!!!!!! fuck around find out!!!!! be gay do crime!!!!!!! *gets arrested by valve for tampering with copyrighted material*

anyways, after all that negativity; shoutout to the only stuff i enjoyed from the comics: pauling, heavy, the art. goob byeeeeeeee

#ask #read at your own risk i guess- i do end up typing one trullon words #i can go into more detail but i won't. for the sake of my sanity. and i think many wouldn't like it either #edit: the one-shots are better. they're fun

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icedhotcocoa · 1 year

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hello mo my dearest and most bestest friend in the whole wyde world. do you have any zhannapauling takes. ive been thinin gabbout women and i love them so mcuh

WOMEN…

ok weird hc to start with but admin hates this relationship SOOOO much. mostly because pauling makes time for zhanna (re: zhanna forcibly makes time for herself) and it’s killing her productivity so she comes up with increasingly more cartoonishly villainous ways to split them apart

it never works

zhanna also comes along on jobs (mostly hits). she can help she loves to help

sometimes she fully almost kills just like the wrong guy and Pauling has to be like HOLD ON HOLD ON HOLD ON. and then zhanna gives her big puppy eyes and Pauling just sighs and is like ok you did a good job thank you

zhanna is, of course, a very jealous lover. regularly threatens to beat the shit out of scout but pauling talks her down.

“yes yes I love you, you’re the only woman for me. yes I know he has no muscles and is an uncooked spaghetti stick of a man. you’re right sweetie he would never survive in the russian wilderness like you and he’s probably terrible in bed. now can you please release him from the chokehold I’m going to get in so much trouble if he dies”

PAULING IS THE MOST TAKE-HOME-ABLE GF. zhanna’s mom fucking LOVES HER and is always like how come you and that nice young woman never come to visit me. and she always sends them sweaters and cookies and shit and zhanna is so proud

ms pauling is my favorite genre of “seems normal but is actually insane” and has not dated in a while so her idea of romance is like deeply flawed. but it’s ok because zhanna’s idea of romance is even more deeply flawed.

“PAULING! come bear wrestling with me for one year anniversary” “…OH MY GOD YES! I thought you would never ask!” and then they have a lot of fun and ms pauling is like giggling the whole time

Also pauling gives zhanna rides on her motorcycle and zhanna thinks it’s the sexiest thing ever

#asks #tf2 #zhannapauling #paulingzhanna #ms pauling #tf2 zhanna

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aprofessionalwithoutstandards · 1 year

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Honestly as a lesbian. The way ppl are so fucked up about miss pauling being a lesbian is so fuckin upsetting like why cant you just not ship her with scout. Why cant you let lesbians exist n chill. Especially when its other gbt ppl like yall should at least know better.

That being said i actually think it is genuinely more lesbophobic and transmisogynistic if you decide to hc scout as transfem to ship him with pauling like. First of all nice way to say you think lesbians literally only care about gender when picking a partner. Second and much worse, do the implications of scout being trans to get with a lesbian not occur to yall??? Have you no idea what one of the most common arguements transmisogynists use against trans women is??? Its honestly unbelievable. Even if its not on purpose and you didnt think of it like that its still so fuckin bad.

No absolutely yeah like it's all just very strange and not smth I'm particularly fond of. Like I'm trying to be polite and say it's just my opinion bc I know people like them but there is genuinely a point where it can start to be an issue and I HAVE seen people make really really shitty jokes about "lol Scout transitions just to get with Pauling lol" and I don't know if people realize how much that sucks to say. It's also just kind of a bad reading of their characters IN MY OPINION to act like the only reason she doesn't like him is bc she doesn't like guys. I think it kinda goes hand in hand with like, hooking Pauling up with the first woman she interacts with who happens to be Zhanna who hates her. Idk I just think Pauling is a) allowed to be a lesbian without needing to date anybody about it and b) kinda just deserving of someone who respects her. lol.

#like actually just be normal abt her #i just like get the vibe that people wouldn't do all this to hook a woman up with a gay man. only to put a (in canon) man with a lesbian #ask #anon #tf2 #scout #miss pauling

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rogerrrroger · 11 months

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what do you think the mercs all cry from? i think that sniper would only cry after a long day with no sleep from a little catalyst like dropping his toast on the floor, heavy would shed a single man tear at really bad physical torture maybe

(i dont think soldier even has tear ducts though and zhanna seems like she would cry of joy a lot)

Oooh interesting!!

Ok ok

Scout: bro is the little brother, he can whip out the fake tears at everything. He also cries frequently (pain, Ms Pauling didn’t look at him, doctor visits) and then gets bullied for it and instead pretends he got dust in his eye or some shit.

Soldier: yes you are right, unfortunately soldier lost his tear ducts in the war so sad 😔 nothing in god’s green earth could make that man cry

Pyro: you… never know. Pyro feels every emotion to it’s greatest extent, so maybe they shed tears, maybe not.

Engineer: he probably cries at sad movies. Engi is the type to say how crying is manly and encourage the others to express their emotions etc etc. now I think of it, he’s probably the best at comforting someone who’s crying.

Demoman: unlike soldier, demo cries at every emotion. Probably because he’s mostly drunk, but that man will cry if you hold the door open for him.

Heavy: now heavy is the type to say how crying isn’t manly or strong. Heavy trained himself not to cry or show weakness because he had to be the strong one. He won’t bully others for crying (other than the obvious enemy team) but he will never let himself cry.

Medic: I’m very unsure when it comes to medic crying. He either will never shed a tear in his whole life, or be the total melodramatic opposite and cry all the time to make a point. Only sincere crying he ever does is when his doves have babies.

Sniper: again, right about this one 👍 sniper doesn’t usually find things to cry about, but tiny things can set him off if he has been talking to scout or soldier the whole day. Or, if someone else stepped 1 mm inside his van

Spy: also cries at sad movies. And romance movies. And novels. And alone in his room. That man cries like a teenage girl. He cries when he gets jarate’d, for gods sake.

Thanks for leaving this in my inbox!! It was fun <3

#ask #tf2 #anon #roger talks

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some-pers0n · 6 months

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Im the prev anon, but yeagh a few stuff: whats with medic and the baboon uteruses also a few critiques of tf2 :0 when I first got into tf2 i noticed some things

Okie pokie.

With Medic and the baboon uteruses, that's a joke that follows up on the things established by Meet the Medic. The heart that Medic replaces Heavy's normal one is a mega baboon heart if I remember correctly. It shows that Medic uses exotic animal organs for his surgeries.

The baboon uterus part is also foreshadowed earlier in the comics. Literally the first moment that Medic is introduced, he mentions it.

And then later on its reinforced.

Until finally...

And then Cheavy dies, blah blah blah..

And then boom. Baboon child.

Okay, so, time to put on my bitchy WoF fan mode. It feels weird to just actually talk and complain about TF2 because, unlike WoF, there isn't really anything that FEELS like missed potential and or just poorly handled. It doesn't jump out at you as much.

However, I will say that the Saxton Hale subplot in the comics did feels...very unimportant. I get it if it was to build-up something for the final comic involving some sort of confrontation between the mercs and Charles Darling along with the Administrator, but it's just. yeah. I don't care for it. Maggie doesn't exactly offer much in terms of character stuff other than being Saxton's girlfriend.

On a similar note, Zhanna. The comics in generally feel like they introduce a lot of ideas, yet don't really follow through on them. Again, this is because we are literally missing the final piece of the puzzle, but Zhanna doesn't exactly. do much. Her role in the story is just as another comedic relief character and a foil to Soldier. Literally we've already got enough foils for Soldier. Merasmus, Demoman, etc. Zhanna doesn't really do anything.

I hate this panel. I don't even know how you can defend it. I'm retconning this to death and back in my fic.

There is no The Funny. It's just the TFC Soldier and Scout talking and then at the very end being like. pedos?? Ermm,, how about NO??? Valve, why would you make the only kinda canonically queer couple in TF2 be pedos. Can you not? Please?

Hmm,, erm.. hmm... The lore itself is generally delivered in a confusing and convoluted manner. Yet again, I feel like that we would've gotten a great and amazing summary and explanation for everything in the final comic, but I need you to understand that I genuinely get migranes from trying to understand and piece together the lore, much more with actually trying to rewrite it and make sense of it. I'm at a point where I feel maniac joy from learning that green is the inverse of purple.

I'm kinda scraping at the bottom of the barrel here. I don't have too many thoughts on the Lore for now. Of the game? I mean, I'm not too into the actual game itself other than watching countless video essays, clip dumps, and generally just enjoying it all. I think that Dustbowl sucks.

OOH!! I randomly just don't like how New Zealand was sentenced to being an underwater desolate place that we barely explored. Boo!! Be like Rapture!! I think it would be so very cool if The Gang explored either what is literally just the underwater utopia city of Atlantis, or Rapture post-civil war. I think there's a lot of potential with New Zealand that's never touched on.

Scratch that, Valve (and the general fandom) is sitting on a literal GOLD MINE when it comes to Australia. Australium mine if you will. You have this futuristic utopian society that's got plenty of potential for weird shit and NOBODY talks about it. I feel like pulling my hair out whenever I think about Australia. It SHOULD be a important part. It should be something that's talked about more. Yet, nothing. Sjdbsmsbwjsbsh,,,

There should've been more Demo comics. Demo gets treated so, so, so bad by Valve man. I wish Demo's character was treated as more than just a silly goober. Like his parents literally abandoning him for a bit before readopting him, him losing his eye, his alcoholism, etc. I get it that it's the funny silly goofy game, but it's also the same silly goofy game that reveals that the Pootis Russian Guy's father was killed for his political views and he himself and his entire family was imprisoned in a gulag.

Clicking my tongue and tapping my desk trying to think of stuff. Hmm,, there's a lot of potential missed with the TFC team. They were introduced pretty late and we only really got two comics of them being threats until they all died. Fred and Cheavy especially I think wayyy too much about. Also Cmedic but eh. I love Fred and I kinda wish he would be there in the final comic. I do think that Cheavy had a good reason for getting mad at Medic, that being that Medic's literally sewing god knows what into him and his fellow coworkers as well and spending their entire budget AND reviving Sniper.

Miss Pauling's SFM design >>>>> her comic one. Her purple and white button shirt VS solid purple block dress.

I dunno what else to complain about. See ya.

#ask #anon #sp-rambles

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