#I Won't Let You Fall Apart

[man-kills-everything]

#Keith Hillebrandt #NIN #The Fragile #Nine Inch Nails The Fragile #Nine Inch Nails #Trent Reznor #NIN 1999 #Nine Inch Nails 1999 #Things Falling Apart #NIN TFA #TFA #Nine Inch Nails Things Falling Apart #Nin.com #I Won't Let You Fall Apart #The Fragile (Deconstructed) #Nine Inch Nails The Fragile (Deconstructed) #NIN The Fragile (Deconstructed)

[dewitty1]

I Won't Let You Fall Apart

xanthippe74 @xanthippe74

Chapters: 7/7 Fandom: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling Rating: Mature Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter Characters: Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Narcissa Black Malfoy, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Molly Weasley, Arthur Weasley, Original Characters Additional Tags: Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Post-War, Angst with a Happy Ending, Slow Burn, Getting Together, POV Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy in the Muggle World, Living Together, Trials, Politics, Permanent loss of magic, Permanently permanent!, Blood and Injury, Vomiting, Kidnapping, Non-Explicit Sex, France (Country), H/D Wireless 2022, Veritaserum Potion (Harry Potter)

Summary:

Harry has spent the year after the war staying out of the public eye, dodging political battles, and standing firm against pressure from his friends. But he has a secret plan to get away from it all. He just needs to testify at one more Death Eater trial: Draco Malfoy’s. Little does Harry know what his act of compassion will cost him—and Malfoy.

Excerpt:

“Now what do I do?” Harry asks, almost to himself.

“Nothing,” Draco answers firmly. “You let the magical folk sort things out. If Pember and the Wizengamot won’t step down, they’ll be voted out in the next election, I predict. You and I go forward with our lives here. That was your plan, remember? Don’t tell me you’ve changed your mind.”

With a scoff, Harry says, “Definitely not.”

“Good. I was afraid I was going to have to talk some sense into you, which seems like it would be a hopeless cause. What did you mean, then?”

“I was talking about my life—the rest of my life. The ICW’s investigation felt like the last thing standing in the way of me moving on. But now that’s over, I want something to do besides pottering around the house like an old man.” Harry pauses to nudge Draco’s arm with his elbow. “And don’t tell me to find some hobbies again. That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“A career?”

“I guess. Some kind of purpose, anyway. It doesn’t have to be a job.”

“You only just turned twenty,” Draco says consolingly. “Most people our age are still working out what they want to do with their lives. You’ll figure it out, too.”

Slowly, Harry reaches over and interlaces his fingers with Draco’s. His skin is soft and warm, and suddenly Harry wants to know what it would feel like to have Draco’s hands on his face, on his bare shoulders, on his waist. He wants to kiss each palm and then look up to see Draco smiling at him, amused and pleased. A painful longing grips Harry’s heart.

“Just… don’t leave me, okay?” he rasps, barely above a whisper.

“I’m not going to leave you, Harry.” Draco’s voice is gentle and concerned. “Why would I? Where would I go?”

“You told me your solicitor is going to help you get your vaults back, now that your mother’s in custody. You’ll be able to live on your own, wherever you want to.” Harry looks down at their clasped hands. “I’d never try to make you stay with me. But I really hope you will. I guess I just wanted you to know that.”

“All right.”

꒰♡ˊ͈ ु꒳ ूˋ͈꒱.⑅*♡

#I Won't Let You Fall Apart #xanthippe74 #Drarry #Drarry fic rec #fic rec #hp fic rec #Draco Malfoy #Harry potter #drarry fanfiction #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfiction #hp #drarry fic #hp fic #hd wireless 2022 #carey's bookmark fic recs #Carey's personal bookmarks

[thatgirl4815]

Forget Joker and Harley Quinn, this is my villain origin story.

#Ray looks so happy to have finally gotten what he wanted #but has he ever thought that it's just going to hurt THAT MUCH HARDER when it all falls apart? #And when it inevitably does he'll expect to turn back to Sand like before...only to realize that he's gone too far #*cue the trailer “I won't let you walk away” scene #ajfjjjsjskjaskj I won't survive this wait ugh #only friends #only friends the series #ofts #sandray #raysand #sanray #raysan #raymew #topmew

[flowercrowngods]

i don't know how to be merely acquaintances when we used to be friends. or i think we used to be. i don't know how to yearn for a simple hello when you've been heaping your affection on me months ago, and i don't know how to talk to you when you won't say anything. when suddenly it's all about me. you know i have nothing to say, you know my brain is void of everything but horribleness and i cannot tell you about my day because i don't even know about my day. i cannot tell you about my day when i know you won't listen, when i know you'll apply your philosophy to my world and don't believe me when i say that everything is terrible. i don't know how to be the person you seem to think i am, or the person you want in your life. i don't know if you want anyone else in your life now that you're in love and sappy, found another recipient for your affections, leaving me empty and wounded and yearning.

you said you missed me. said it many times, while i was gone. now i'm back, have been back, and i wonder how you missed me, why you missed me, when you won't talk to me. i think you mistook missing for worrying. i think you mistook caring for a feeling of obligation. i think you like missing me more than talking to me.

and i think i can't breathe with how much that hurts

#how do you miss me when you won't talk to me? how do you like me so much and then go to just. not? #how did i let you in when i try so hard not to let people do that because i know that once they get past the walls all i'll be left with #is the idea of them rotting and withering inside me. polluting the space i create to keep myself safe. #why does everyone leave? leave in silence too. leaving behind so many questions and so many words engraved in my brain #i am so tired of *grieving* when those i grieve are still alive and well and thriving and i'm reminded that it's versions of myself #that i'm grieving instead. how do you grieve yourself? how do you not fucking fall apart over it? #just. fucking talk to me. don't make it be true that all i'll ever be is nothingness and the memory of someone you liked once #but never never never liked enough #i'm so so cold already. i'm a shell. i want to be warm again but it always leaves me so hollow and hurting #i grieve the dio who was warm. i grieve them i miss them i am so so angry that he had to leave. to hide. with no way out #i'm happy for you. i'm happy you're happy. but you're no better than anyone else and it makes me want to run away again #but i have nowhere else to run and no one else to be. and it's so fucked that it doesn't matter who i am i'll never be enough #for someone to just. stay. to see me and to stay. to hear me and to sit and listen and just. just fucking stay. #maybe i'm not worth staying for. maybe there's nothing to know nothing to hear nothing to see nothing to listen to nothing to find #maybe all i'll ever get is one/two good months paid for with a lifetime of grief. and i'm at the point where i don't want the good months #anymore with you or anyone else who tears down these walls with affection that is so endlessly addictive and leaves me yearning. #on the off chance that it will keep the grief away too. but that's the thing about grief isn't it? it's here to stay. unlike you #god this is so fucked up and i'll delete this later but for now i just need to. let it out. poe said i should make a side blog for the grie #but poe's not there anymore. poe has stopped starting fires. so this goes on main until shame makes me take it down #blah #personal #not st

[navree]

How can you humanize Maegor , if you will make a show about him?

It depends on how far back you're willing to go in his life, because really up until he takes the crown, you can do quite a bit to humanize him and make him someone people want to engage with, without woobifying him or trying to excuse the truly heinous things he does. Starting backstory onwards, there are lot of ways to do this. There's a lot of room to play with in his childhood and the interpersonal relationships that should be his strongest tethers to humanity, but aren't: his relationship with his brother, his relationship with his mother, and his relationship with his father.

Aenys and Maegor are a relationship that was doomed to fail since birth. For one, while the age gap isn't huge, five years is still pretty significant in terms of differences in development as children, which definitely got in the way of any bonding. For two, they also appear to have largely grown up separately, with Aenys spending most of his time by Aegon's side in King's Landing, and Maegor being raised on Dragonstone with Visenya, before the two essentially switched places with Aegon at Dragonstone and Visenya overseeing the construction of the Red Keep in King's Landing. For three, there's also the external factors, such as their incredibly different personalities and viewpoints on basically everything, as well as the fact that, when Maegor was born, Aenys was only very recently removed from the complete breakdown he had due to his trauma over his mother's sudden death, and likely still wasn't in a state to be trying to forge new bonds with anyone who wasn't Quicksilver (and Aegon, but Aegon's grandfathered in by being his literal dad). So Maegor, who we know wasn't making friends on Dragonstone and just in general was probably really isolated from kids his own age due to it being Dragonstone (not unlike how we see with Shireen Baratheon) also isn't getting any kind of connection from anyone close to his own age throughout his entire childhood.

Really, the only person Maegor is close to in any capacity is his mother, Visenya. She's the parent he grew up with, his primary caregiver and his closest relationship not just in childhood, but likely throughout his entire life. In the nature vs nurture debate on childrearing, she's the one who was providing the nurture. Nearly everything about Maegor, his personality and his view of the world and his personal philosophies and his love map in his brain, among many other things, all of that was shaped by Visenya and her influence on him and her care and devotion for him. And with no one else really around to provide him any sort of companionship that he might have needed, and with his other parent being incredibly distant and barely a parent, Maegor likely latched onto her incredibly strongly. I think, if asked, Maegor would say that, should he be found capable of love, Visenya would be the person he loved the most in his life (I'm of the opinion that his relationship with Tyanna was him trying to find a significant other that most reminded him of his beloved mother, not entirely dissimilar to the way that Henry VIII felt that an ideal wife would be one who was almost identical to Elizabeth of York). And we know that this is something that persisted long after childhood, into his adulthood Visenya was his strongest supporter and Maegor relied on her a lot early in his reign, and was publicly devastated when he learned that she had died. His mother was the only parent he ever really knew as a parent, certainly the family member he loved most, adored even, especially in such sharp distinction with Aegon as a distant father. And speaking of that distant father...

I love Aegon, he's one of my absolute favorite Targs, but he was practically just a parent in name only to his second son. And that's going to do a number on someone, no matter who they are. Maegor's father doesn't much care for his mother, certainly doesn't seem to care for him at all personally, and despite the fact that Maegor is probably far more like Aegon, and a far worthier successor, than Aenys, Aegon still dotes on his eldest while barely spending any time with Maegor. And it's not because of anything Maegor's done, or even anything Aenys has done: it's entirely because of Aenys's mother. Aenys is Aegon's favorite, his precious son, not because of anything Aenys has done to earn that, but simply because he is the son of Aegon's beloved Rhaenys, and that his very existence is a way of having Rhaenys still with him after her disappearance/death. We know that Aegon was forever incredibly affected by what happened to Rhaenys and that he never stopped loving her, given that he openly wept when he held Rhaena and was informed that she was named after her grandmother. Meanwhile, there's Maegor, whose own mother's relationship with his father was never very good (marriage of duty for them vs the Aegon/Rhaenys marriage of desire) and had become incredibly cold and distant by the time that he was born, and you can very easily see how that might ultimately affect a kid. He's watching his mother be completely ignored by his dad just for being the wrong woman, he's dealing with himself being completely ignored and passed over in love and affection just because he's the son of the wrong woman, because his mother isn't the lost ghost that Aegon loved and won't ever be able to stop loving. How much of Maegor's prowess in fighting, not to mention the unchecked aggression he showed during training, was borne of trying to impress his martially skilled father and being upset when it didn't work? How much of his continued presence in tourneys and melées was to show Aegon that he was a much better son than Aenys, that he deserved the love Aegon was freely giving his brother just as much? Was there ever a time when he resented Visenya for being his mother when that was enough to make Aegon uninterested, and did he ever hate himself for blaming the wrong person, or blaming anyone at all? How much did he internalize his own feelings about it as the relationship never got any warmer? How did he feel when Aegon finally noticed him enough to knight him himself, and make him the youngest knight in the realm at that? Did Maegor ever want to talk to him about it once he was a young man, did he ever want to try and forge a stronger relationship on his own merits as an adult, did he ever even try?

There's also the matter of Balerion, which is as much its own relationship as a subset of anything that can be played with as it pertains to Aegon and Maegor. For one, we know that Maegor point blank refused to claim any dragon because he felt that Balerion was the only one worthy of him. And you can take that at face value, but you can also go deeper into it, into the ideas that Maegor might not be consciously aware of. Maybe he wants to try and connect with his father on some level through the dragon bond. Maybe he looks at how Aegon gives Aenys so much, his companionship and his throne and his sword and his love, Hell he even gives Aenys a Valyrian bride (Alyssa Velaryon) but demands that Maegor settle for a simple Westerosi, as if he's lesser than and not the blood of old Valyria. And still he waits to see if maybe Aegon will give him something. Maybe once Aegon is too old for dragonriding, he'll give Maegor Balerion, or at least give Maegor the opportunity to try, to prove himself as Aegon's son, to have that connection. And when Aegon doesn't, when it's still Aenys getting everything Maegor might not even realize he wants, that's just another disappointment for him.

But Maegor does get Balerion anyway, once Aegon dies. He finally gets a connection to Aegon that's his alone, and it's after Aegon is already dead and likely after Maegor was already hardening into the man he would ultimately be remembered as. Not to mention, even on its own, Balerion and Maegor's bond is a good way to show a human element to the man. I've always maintained that, when it comes to Targaryens, the most unconditionally loving and the most openly affection and emotional we should see them should really be with the dragons. With their magic and their Valyrian blood and old world roots and just everything about them, even if you don't subscribe to Targaryen exceptionalism, they are pretty far removed from the place they actually live; culturally and ethnically and socially, they are not Westerosi and certainly in Maegor's time, don't see themselves or are seen by others as Westerosi. The dragons, products of Valyria's heyday, are the closest living beings that Targaryens can relate to, and this is doubly important when it comes to Balerion, who was born during the reign of the Valyrian Freehold, who was alive before the Doom. Balerion is a living cultural heritage, and for someone as isolated as Maegor is (and, as we see in his actions re: his marriages and the Faith, as divorced from Westerosi customs and standards as he is), having that connection is probably the deepest one he'd have, bar maybe his mother, and even then, despite that closeness and love, their mutually cold personalities probably made it hard to be open in any deep affection once Maegor started growing up. Dragons and their riders are practically one being, they feel each other's pains and pleasures and angers and grudges and triumphs, and Maegor having something like that, along with the connection to a father he never really was connected to, adds a human element to the man that he was, despite the fact that he used Balerion to do terrible things.

You can also do a lot with Maegor's actions before his own kingship, specifically the reign of his half-brother Aenys. In spite of their differences and distances, in spite of the shadow of Aegon and the relationships he had with his sisters that affected his relationship with his own sons in turn, Aenys does embrace Maegor with open arms. He gives him Blackfyre, another possession of Aegon's that Maegor must have coveted, and he promises that they'll rule together. They're both adults now, and Aenys seems emotionally sensitive enough to have realized that Maegor probably has some deep rooted issues borne out of things that were set in motion before he was even conceived. And while Visenya might have scoffed at the gestures Aenys made for Maegor, Maegor appears to have taken them really seriously. He personally crushes a rebellion against Aenys in the Vale, and makes huge showings of his loyalty by fighting really hard for his brother against his foes. When Aenys makes him his Hand, Maegor takes that responsibility really seriously and is willing to obey Aenys as his Lord and King, as well as protect him. This seems to have been loyalty that was reciprocated, since it's noted that, when Aenys exiles Maegor for his bigamy, he does it because he felt he had no other option than to be mad at Maegor for what he did, due to the huge public outcry, and even then he still offers Maegor a way out. He only exiles him because Maegor refuses to set Alys aside (another way to humanize Maegor, he takes Alys as a wife despite it being a big taboo for most Westerosi and in spite of her being from a pretty minor noble House, and he refuses to leave her even at the cost of losing his home, he keeps her by his side and he refuses to give her up when there were likely a shitton of better options to deal with his childlessness, to say nothing of women from greater Houses with more potential for him politically, but he CHOSE Alys), since Aenys felt that this was the only choice left to him. And Maegor abides by the exile. Yeah, he takes Blackfyre even though Aenys asked him to leave it, but he still goes into exile, and he stays in exile. Aenys rides Quicksilver and Maegor rides Balerion, the two dragons literally go toe to toe with each other and it's so massively onesided because Quicksilver doesn't stand a chance. If Maegor wanted to, he could have very easily repudiated his exile and decimated Aenys if he tried to enforce it. But Aenys told him to go, so he did, and he stayed gone until Visenya came to fetch him back with the news that Aenys was dead. He respected Aenys's word as king, his sovereign authority as liege lord and as the elder brother, and even if he might not have entirely thought the man worthy of what he had, that does speak to a sort of deference in spite of the complexities of their upbringing, and a willingness to obey Aenys despite everything about their personalities.

So, by the time Maegor comes back from Pentos to usurp the throne, there's a lot that can be used to humanize him and make him a compelling protagonist. A close but somewhat stilted relationship with the only parent to have ever tried with him, an unfulfilled, desperate need for approval and affection from a parent who couldn't give that to him due to circumstances entirely outside his control, a brother he didn't know well in his youth and might not have thought worthy of what he had and certainly been jealous of but that he still respected as king and fought hard to defend and that he deferred to even when he didn't have to, at least one marriage that, in spite of what little it offered him and the clusterfuck it caused, he valued enough that he refused to set aside, and an intense bond with a fearsome dragon that you can make him value more than almost anything or anyone. All of that set up can then be used for an extraordinary fall from grace, to watch the potential and nuance slowly grow darker and darker and darker as Maegor does increasingly horrible things, treats the people in his life increasingly badly, descends further and further into the tyranny and madness that will utlimately kill him. There's bright spots that can be used as well, like the fact that he does have Jaehaerys as his heir and doesn't seem to have had him or Viserys treated that badly, even though they were prisoners, and that he didn't actually set out to kill Aegon the Uncrowned at all until Aegon decided to take back his throne and amass an army. Then, as we've watched Maegor slide further and further down, we can watch with a sinking dread as he annihilates Aegon beneath God's Eye, as he turns on Alys and extinguishes her family, as he has Viserys literally tortured to death to punish Alyssa and Jaehaerys and Alysanne for their escape from Dragonstone. So that, by the time we get to shit like the completion of the Red Keep and the Black Brides, we see that Maegor is incredibly far gone, and we can only watch as all the complexities within him are swept aside by the monster he's become, so foul and loathsome that the eldritch abomination that is the Iron Throne finally kills him to stop the madness.

It's not about woobifying Maegor or excusing him. It's about providing a reason for the audience to look back on who he was as he becomes what he was always going to be, to give explanations for why he does the things that he does (how much of his initial militarism and violence and heavy-handedness, before he went doolally, was borne out of not just his martial prowess as a kid but also watching Aenys's version of ruling not work, for instance), and to get people to understand and feel his initial motivations so that the later stuff also makes sense, and so that you're watching something akin to a doomed fall when he becomes Maegor the Cruel. These are, at least to me, some of the most important and influential ways you can humanize Maegor as a character if you're planning to center him in a proper narrative story, without filing down his edges and keeping him as the kind of person he is. Extrapolate on why he is the way he is, and then show him how he is throughout his lifetime and what he does, along with the how and why of what he does.

#personal #answered #anonymous #maegor targaryen #maegor the cruel #yeah i've got a lot of thoughts about the conquerors and the dragon's peace and the sons of the dragon #anyway remember what i said about rhaenys being the glue that held the family together? #rhaenys's death being the reason that everything starts to fall apart? #rhaenys being the figure that looms large over the early reigns of the targaryens? #rhaenys being the ghost that haunts this entire family and won't ever leave them until all the people that both knew her #and were affected by her are dead? yeah i stand by all of that #it's why i'd want a sons of the dragon show to be preceded by a conquest show #so that the intense shift in dynamics and characters once she's gone makes sense #so that the very essence of the story changes when she dies #but anyway i've got Feelings #@ hbo come on guys!!!!!! #i'm right here i'm willing to work for very little money on this!!!! #(and then once i get y'all raking in cash through my correct opinions about the conquest and the sons of the dragon) #(you let me make the augustus show) #hope some of this makes sense i've been thinking about these characters a lot #so sometimes it's hard to organize it all into a cohesive essay

[bonebabbles]

with the disclaimer that I don't know all the context since I haven't read it, how WAS he supposed to handle a contagious illness in a society that doesn't have any form of masks or sanitation? Temporarily quarantining contagiously sick cats away from healthy ones just seems like a completely different and much more reasonable thing than kicking out cats permanently for a disability because they would be a "burden".

@halogenwarrior

Ok, going with you having no context for this, he wasn't suggesting a 'temporary quarantine' for sick cats. There is already a quarantine, with only the medics approaching the sick. Following everyone having a Hearty Chuckle that Clear Sky 'cares about other people' now by saying we're "all in it together," Clear Sky shares his full plan;

He nonsensically believes that no sick prey is living in the burnt part of his woods and the fire "cleansed it", so all of the healthy cats will abandon the sick to die in their camps and come live on his territory and 'wait it out.'

His plan is that all the cats who become sick will die. It's not quarantine in the sense that they will 'help the sick but keep a distance', he is essentially suggesting a reverse leper colony where everyone who displays symptoms gets kicked out to fend for themselves.

And, in the past, illness was always part of his talking points for throwing cats out of his clan. It was why he tried to throw Frost out, where he would die alone. I went back to Thunder Rising to grab the passage,

This is after he shoves Thunder's face into it and tells him to lick it.

So, it's wholly inappropriate, imo, that Thunder essentially does a little eye roll and a cutesy sigh at this suggestion. "Ohh that's my dad and his ruthless streak." His dad has historically been a monster towards the sick and infirm when they "stop being useful" with this rhetoric. Burdens, disease, weakness. In this moment, he is proposing that they do to an unknown number of cats exactly what he commanded Thunder do to Frost.

Additionally, at this point in time, they don't know how the illness spreads. They're guessing that it's via contact with sick prey, and using leaves as rudimentary tissues/gloves. Clear Sky DOES know, though, these two things;

One Eye knows how it spreads and is not telling.

Many of his cats have been exposed.

He has no idea which cats have been exposed, or how many, or even how long it takes between infection and first symptoms. All they DO know is that symptoms are rapid onset and debilitating. By the time you know a cat is sick, they're covered in sores, have a bloated stomach, and are unable to hunt for themselves. The only thing that is for sure is that turning them out is a death sentence.

And yet he is confused at the idea that Thunder has an objection about leaving Morning Whisker, Wind Runner's kitten who isn't older than a month or two, alone to die.

The solution that the groups eventually come up with is that the clans will remain isolated from each other as to not spread illness, though it doesn't seem to work because infected prey still moves around freely.

Also note that the first time Clear Sky actually gives a damn about an infected person is when Jagged Peak's pregnant wife catches it (After Jagged Peak 'proves' he's useful now by leading a medicine-seeking patrol thanks to Gray Wing). Wind Runner's an "ex-rogue," a group Clear Sky has disdain for, and he doesn't think to have compassion about her baby.

So to answer your question directly, he was 'supposed' to handle it the way the Moor cats did and were, with some basic safety precautions. Not regress to trying to use the illness to get all the cats into a single Clan in his own territory where he could continue to throw "useless/dangerously ill/disabled" out into the wilderness "where the maggots will find them".

#tw medical gore #It's worse than I mentioned but I was trying to be brief about it #Because if I dove into every little thing that is SHOCKINGLY bad about Clear Sky I wouldn't be able to get through the book #I swear im trying to be charitable about the fact his first suggestion was just... #''Kill your sick friends and children and join a brand new camp in MY territory'' #''I totally won't assert myself as your leader and make you throw out your friends and family For The Greater Good this time'' #''I've been thinking it's a great idea to gather all of the cats in one spot as a contagious illness ravages the forest'' #''Don't worry we won't get sick because we'll leave all the weak people behind'' #You can think about this for more than 30 seconds and see it fall apart #So isn't it very very convenient that his ''i've been Thinking'' idea involves consolidating power under HIMSELF??? AGAIN????? #At *best* he is so stupid he is inventing a superspreader event #At minimum his plan involves killing a LOT of people via abandonment #And at worst it's actually just another ploy to gain power. But I have to rule that out even though it's the most interesting idea #Because it's Clear Sky Redemption Arc Time and the writers are dead set on not letting him be an interesting character

[fatexbound]

𝟑-𝟓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄 𝐂𝐀𝐍 𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐄 𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐅𝐈𝐄𝐃 𝐁𝐘.

𝐂𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐒:

pink

red

brown

𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐒:

Pine resin: The yellow powder they use on the archery team for their bows. It's sticky, so she makes sure to take care of her bow when she's finished.

Perfume: You can't expect a girl like her to not wear perfume, though it's only for her days off to smell good and look pretty.

Flowers: Much like Fuuka, she has a lot of flowers (and shopping bags, posters and CDs) in her room that mean a lot to her, reminding her of all the good times with her dad. She spends most of her time in her room to care for them.

𝐅𝐀𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐎𝐍:

At school and within Tartarus/the Dark Hour, she wears a pink cardigan, a loose red ribbon, a black mini skirt, black knee-high stockings with white lines on the outer-sides (often shown with white hearts of four in more detailed settings), and a heart-shaped white choker.

On the weekends and days off in the winter, she is seen wearing a long pink off-the-shoulder dress with lace-sewn patterns and fur linings over her skirt alongside a pair of tan knee-high boots with a fur trim.

Generally, she wears whatever is super trendy, considering she reads a lot of girl model magazines and dresses to impress and for herself.

𝐎𝐁𝐉𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐒:

School bag

Phone

Evoker in Tartarus

Bow and arrows

𝐁𝐎𝐃𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐔𝐀𝐆𝐄:

Hands behind her back when she's relaxed or casually talking to someone, even teasing them when they're close.

A hand on her hip or her arms crossed, glaring whenever Junpei says something stupid, not missing the chance to tease or reprimand him.

Very aggressive and self-conscious when someone helps her if she's in a vulnerable situation because she wants to be independent and is too scared of people she cares about dying due to her own incompetence.

𝐀𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐓𝐈𝐂𝐒:

Pink Sakura trees blooming in the spring.

Bow and a bag of arrows behind her back, ready for battle.

The best accessories and clothes one can find in Paulownia Mall that suit her taste.

Red leaves falling from trees in Kyoto, which is her birthplace in my headcanon.

Tagged by: @thuganomxcs (man, you keep waking up my dormant muses, how do you do it?)

Tagging: @epitomees (Kotone or Maruki), @iiguess @orphemiss @diverse-hearts @wildxcardrebel @galaxythixf (Ken or Akihiko)

#Let's Have Some Fun ; Dash Games #You Won't See Me Fall Apart | Yukari's Headcanons #I think that's her tag?? i'll fix it later if it's not- #not that i do much with her but she is important to me #long post

[narcan-necromancer]

I hate getting head tbh. I'm here to domme and play with you because that's how I get off. Like, ma'am, I have seen you eat lasagna and drink soda. I know that you haven't brushed your teeth in 12 hours. Don't get that nasty ass germ infested mouth near my shit because it takes me out of the experience and makes me want to vomit.

#i hate that I'm like this #kira falls apart #cw #I get weird about kissing too which I hate because I love kissing #this is also why I won't let anyone spit in my mouth #but people can spit in my face and that's totally cool #I don't get it either #I've gagged when partners have kissed me or got near my shit before #I feel bad for them #if I can taste what you've eaten or the kind of soda that you've drank today I don't want anything to do with you #if I can smell either of those things on you I don't want anything to do with you #I'll give head for days but

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

my sister called me and kept asking excitedly that what's happening in my life and

#like life as in. i can't say love life but like you know what's happening with the guys and the girls #girl #and i was so tired #am so tired #i just made up an excuse that im too physically tired too talk to cut the call and told her id call her back but i won't #i want to okay i really do I want to hear about her life what's going on but she's not that type of person jinke saamne #i can just divert the topic from myself avoid talking about me she's determined and caring like that😭 #just. kya batau main #i spent the whole day working but really if i stopped doing anything for like 2 minutes all the last convos i had with everyone i #liked loved whatever started replaying in my head constantly making me feel all down and sad in public yk that empty heaviness inside chest #i mean. what is there to say. i feel truly pathetic #everyone just keeps leaving me. they decide one day that oh nope she's not for me not interesting anymore doesn't understand is too much #draining and destroys my peace and then they leave #it doesn't even matter the weight of the relationship #whether it's been a year of being in love or two weeks of talking till 5 am or a week of wishing me good morning and good night #every day. it doesn't matter they leave and they leave and they leave and they don't look back and im left to pick up the pieces go on #pretend to be okay and normal and fucking focused on like. studying accounts as if my heart isn't breaking #into a million tiny pieces everytime #i don't know how to tell her. the sister you love so much the sister you can't live without imagine life without. the #sister who you thought about holding on for because you couldn't do that to her leave her alone when you had suicidal thoughts. she's #she's actually deeply unlovable undateable unfuckable and like truly lonely and easy to let go of #i know she loves me and i know my bestfriend loves me and she would fall apart if i wasn't there for her #but it's not enough. i really wish it was. but it's okay it's enough for now it's enough to keep me going it's enough to make me not wanna #die yk? like i don't love myself enough to live for myself get better for myself but they need me so i need to be okay be happy because i #need them to be happy. and they're happy when im happy #does that make sense #okay bye i should really start writing a diary

[wolves-in-the-world]

thinking once again about how eliot's safety and ability to do his job well relies on him being seen as a Big Bad Scary Hitter - that's what his grift in the french connection job etc is for, it's a useful reputation, it keeps the wolves at bay - and how he hires quinn for what he knows is gonna be a high-stakes job. he brings quinn with him to intercept dubenich, lets quinn see his hand shake as he tries to talk himself into-or-out-of killing the mark, then turns around and chats with him afterwards. bickers with him easily when they shake hands at the end.

there's a trust between them from the moment eliot lays out the job offer, and it has to be more than "we have no particular reason to betray each other yet."

I'm thinking about... the code of honour in hitter circles, where A Favour is both a recognised thing and a respected currency. about eliot's confidentiality with regard to old employers. about the network of contacts (I have to assume) who can tell you if someone can be trusted and if they're as good as they claim. about eliot's seemingly thoughtless trust in quinn.

(he had to have researched, surely. if only to know where to find him. if only to be sure there aren't any big players currently after his blood. if only to find out that quinn is exactly the kind of dangerous they need for the job, no more, no worse.)

I just have a lot of fondness for He's A Killer But He's Not A Jackass quinn, who would take on a hit and accidentally go up against eliot spencer (uh oh), but can be trusted with more delicate things.

#quinn leverage #the last dam job #quinn #apologies I know other people have talked about The Dubenich Moment with regard to trust before #but if they were dedicated posts I don't remember enough to go looking for them. #here we define 'jackass' as 'someone who probably still tortures people occasionally.' it's not perfect phrasing. #the honour-among-hitters thing is low key fascinating to me tbh #what we see of like. thieves in general? isn't much like that. #though come to think of it tara owing sophie feels very much like a hitter favour actually. #I wonder if eliot just sorta branched out from but never fully left his military circles #(if perhaps a lot of hitters do that and it colours the wider culture. oof.) #if he relied on That sort of honour and the rules and cues he already knows #to figure out when it's not really honour at all. #this might be the sort of worldbuilding that falls apart when you poke at it #or it might just be the sort of social minefield my ambiguously neurodiverse ass couldn't hope to write #...if I never actually write a quinn who is kinda fucked up by the level of trust eliot shows him #please know that the thought of it visits me regularly and Won't let go

[lovecolibri]

No Strings is so Buddie coded

#911 #buddie #ed sheeran #this is no strings you are who i love and that won't change when we're falling apart #this is no strings you are who i love it's just growing pains #also #we did not fight for love just to let it be defeated #this whole song is eddie after that cemetery scene

[bylertruther]

thinking about how lonnie only ever cared about will when he died and that was just to profit off of his death + will giving a girl he doesn't know his toy truck just because she's crying and he thinks she needs it more even if he knows joyce can't buy him another one + one of the very first things will did upon waking up in the hospital was ask if jonathan was okay + will telling them to close the gate in season two even though he's part of the hivemind and that would've killed him, too + will breaking his own heart by confessing his feelings and giving mike the painting he's spent so long on but saying that all of it came from el thus sacrificing his own wants and self to again help others + how that same selflessness and self-sacrificing nature of his is going to undoubtedly rear its head in season five again because he's at the center of it all and it all goes back to him and vecna is a creature that feeds off of n fans the flames of pain and guilt... feelin very scared n anxious in this chili's tonight over this actually 😳

#he is NOT going to die obviously clearly we know this they're not killing kids #BUT. #i'm just saying.... i don't think it would be crazy for him to feel guilty and like maybe this wouldn't have happened if... #well... u kno.. :( #he would never give up bc that's literally his whole thing that he's a fighter and a survivor #but. he does love his friends and his family. and he has been willing to die if it meant saving them before so like. yanno. #BUT IT WON'T HAPPEN I'M JUST SAYING THE ANGST IS LIKELY GOING TO BE THERE #AND THEN OFC EVERYONE IS GOING TO BE LIKE ARE YOU FUCKING CRAZY WILLIAM SHUT UP SIT DOWN AND GO TO TIME OUT #and then we'll get some good n scrumptious hurt/comfort ok no one stone me i'm knocking on wood ok i Kno #just imagine will proposing that and everyone immediately says NO and mike especially gets pissed #because he's SICK and TIRED of fucking losing will every single time he thinks he's got him back #and god dammit he's already seen what life is like without will there he's not going to do it again he's NOT #don't go where i can't follow + crazy together + it was the best thing i've ever done + it's hawkins it's not the same without you #versus closegate + el commissioned it + she needs you and she always will #mike who is clutching onto will for dear life unwilling to let him go and will who is all too willing to #walk through the gates of hell if it means saving everyone he's ever loved and putting them out of their misery #but of course there's a better plan and letting will die is like killing a puppy it's like taking a sledgehammer to the foundation of #everything yanno. without heart we'd all fall apart n u can't beat the darkness without the light #anyway. can u tell i'm procrastinating editing my fic rn n thats why im writing epic poems in these tags <3 #mine

[rascheln]

The Monster Falls Apart & The Monster Exposed: forehead kisses and touches

#the monster falls apart #the monster exposed #ogeretsu tanaka #hadakeru kaibutsu #revisted this series because it's both hot AND heartbreaking AND fulfilling (and idc for her more recent series sdfhfnf) #anyways I really love kan-chan. I love the way his story is told from multiple POVs and how his character changed over time #I love how his story with Yumi is not just a black and white 'this person is evil this person is a helpless victim' story because it's more #complicated than that. it's about the cycle of abuse and about trauma and about how both of them were not right for each other. #sometimes loving someone isn't enough and you can't magically make them go back to the person they used to. #like I think Yumi stayed out of guilt and a false sense of pride even when he was for all intents and purposes emotionally cheating #and I think the biggest act of love Kan-chan was still capable of at that time was letting Yumi go and breaking up with him. #And then there's Shuuna. ah man. I like that he's sooo out of his depth lol #he's soo in love and he has no idea how to tackle the whole mess that an older Kan-chan is but like #the love they have for each other and the way they DO manage to get through to each other? yea. #you can really feel the difference in maturity at times and that's also a really well done characterization!! #I liked the one author's comment where it's said about him that he went through love on easy mode until he met Kan-chan haha #also the flashbacks... that's a lotta baggage. like I don't blame Yumi for not knowing and it makes sense Kan-chan won't forgive himself #but still. he was never just some evil guy who did that shit out of pure malice when he was experiencing so much abuse and pressure. #(which doesn't make his actions any more okay but it makes his character more complicated and tragic.) #oh and one final thing I love about this series and the connected stories: the thing about life is that it goes on and the people who leave #our lives still continue living in this world. and you may choose or just happen to never meet again. #and no matter who hurt who the memories of each other will remain. the bad. but also the good. #and hopefully you get to continue on making new- making good memories.

[lilbit-of-kizzy]

New rule at the thrift shop I work at! No one is allowed to bring in a bag of their old, obviously very loved toys!

Thank you!

#i am trying so hard not to cry in front of my mom about it #some of them look like they were so SO loved #but the material they're made out of won't let us clean them #you were loved to the point of falling apart #and i have to throw you away 🥺 #I'm so so sorry #at least a lot of them are going to a different thrift store #one specifically for poor/homeless people #some child will be thrilled #you all will still be loved #i have a thing with toys ok #no toy story didn't traumatize me i was already Like This #I have 'when somebody loved me' blocked for a reason lmao

[vergess]

So my mouse and headphones are both dying, which bodes so good for my sanity

#I hate being broke I hate being broke I can't keep doing this #Everything I own is falling apart #Why won't they hire me let me work for you I'll be a good little obsequient I swear #JOST GIVE ME MONEY FOR BASIC SURVIVAL SO THAT WHEN THE TOOLS I USE TO LIVE ARE DYING #I DON'T HAVE TO DIE WITH THEM #JUST LET ME LIVE FUCK ALL OF YOU STLUPID RICH SHITFUCKS #i cant be homeless again

[fatexbound]

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒

bold what applies to your muse. italicize if there's potential / it depends. cross if never applies.

holding hands · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold· kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love· long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photo booth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favorite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to their parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them their favorite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to their apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) ·joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb("iloveyou") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · granting them the last bite (from meal)

𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐂 𝐆𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄𝐒

bold what applies to your muse. italicize if there's potential / it depends. cross if never applies.

holding hands · buying flowers · cooking · cuddles · writing a poem / song · holding door open · tying shoe laces · sharing a milkshake with two straws · offering their jacket when it's cold· kissing in the rain · publicly confessing love· long walks at the beach · doing the titanic pose on a boat · taking cute pictures in a photo booth · sharing a taxi / uber · kissing the back of their hand · slow dancing · getting tickets of their favorite artist / sports team / other · introducing them to their parents · lighting candles · flower petals on bed · love letters · star gazing · brushing / doing their hair · picnics · teaching them to play an instrument / sport while gently guiding their hands · compliments · late night drives · taking selfies together · drawing them · self-made gifts · massages · proposing with a family heirloom ring · lending them their favorite book to read · paying for dinner / coffee · mixtapes / playlists · surprise birthday parties · feeding them · handing them keys to their apartment · making space in drawer for their clothes when they stay over · sharing a blanket · couple costumes · tucking a hair strand behind their ear · running after them at the airport / keeping them from leaving · moving cities to be together · blowing a kiss · breakfast in bed · defending them in a fight (verbally / physically) ·joint bubble baths · dropping the L-bomb("iloveyou") · dedicating a song at the karaoke bar to them · wearing their clothes · yawning before putting an arm around them while watching a movie · granting them the last bite (from meal)

Tagged by: @ochazos (ty!)

Tagging: uhh, anyone who hasn't done it!

#Let's Have Some Fun ; Dash Games #You Won't See Me Fall Apart | Yukari's Headcanons #When The Darkness Comes | Makoto's Headcanons #long post #dumb romantics belong to each other... in this essay i will-