#I cannot kill Isaac | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

stqrgir1e · 6 months

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smoking with tgc boys !!!

isaac, larry, bigt, yumi, and nick! <3 written while I was genuinely stoned for authenticity. jorge killed it with using the words bro and homeboy way too much 😝

mentions of . . . smoking, drug use, cuss words??? established relationship w/ reader + girl mentioned like once otherwise pretty gn. this might be a bit confusing if your a non-smoker since i wrote for a stoner!reader ( petnames used ➜ hon, babe, baby, pretty girl,)

Isaac ➜ we all know homeboy is more of a drinker. it definitely would be on a dare or bet, he would wanna prove to you he could handle his substances.

"who said i greened out after one joint?... tanner did?... he's lying, we can smoke tonight and ill show you." he would act all smug about it until he actually was face to face with the lit joint.

he would hold it like a cigarette, and when you stifle a laugh at the fact he does so- he would shrug it off while taking a loooong drag of the joint. exhaling before having a small coughing fit. you couldn't help but laugh at his reaction, his face a shade pinker after the humiliating reaction to the joint. but its Isaac- so of course he would brush it off like nothing.

"been a while since I smoked hon... maybe you should finish the rest of it." he would say nonchalantly while passing the joint back to you- insisting you have to finish it. would use the excuse 'he's doing some voiceovers for a few videos tomorrow and can't risk losing his voice.'

def vibes more with edibles. but he always takes half because thats what the back of the packaging says 😡 "why are you taking three! it says half right here!" he would then shove the packaging dramatically in your face- really he didnt want you to see how low his tolerance was and how high he got off half a 15mg edible.

would end up passing out in bed w/ you, gets sleepy especially with edibles/indica. you would mess around and tease him a bit- poking at him while joking how he cannot handle his weed. "nooo, im jus' always down for a nap with you, pretty girl..." he would mumble half asleep, voice drowsy from the high. hella affectionate when high, chronic problem with playing with your hair or like, maybe any bracelets you have on??? i hope this makes sense bro

larry ➜ isn't afraid of the idea of weed, he usually just saves it for social events. like how people are social smokers with cigarettes? larry is like that with weed.

he would get all hyped at a party after seeing you and tanner sharing a one-hitter. "bro! imma need some of that right now." he would act hella shady for comedic effect as well. taking the toke while looking around all mischievously like there was feds hiding in the crowd of the party. you and tanner were stoned- so obviously yall laugh at his antics.

bro is a menace after one hit, isnt even that high he just does it for shits and giggles. lets say nicks filming or some shit- larry is the star of the show. talking his head off in front of the camera while blowing some cart smoke right at the lens. "you see this? its y/n's pen... *takes long hit off cart*... gettin lit tonight." he would definitely hold back his coughs.

speaking of carts, larry is one of those rare mfs that prefer carts over bud. why? he thinks there more convenient- and bud always leaves his nose runny. last time you guys had a smoke sesh date he used up all your sanrio kleenex after smoking 2 bowls 😡

"weed makes my nose run babe! maybe we should've stuck to the cart..." he would say after you complained about him sniffling for the third time. while you were busy explaining why you prefer bud, he would sneakily grab your cart from your hoodie pocket and sneak a few hits. bro is ruthless when it comes to that thing 💀 if you tell him you got the pen on you he's beggin for it.

in fact larry would get a little too comfy with the cart, accidentally almost greening out at a target once when he hit it one too many times in the car. "lets just sit down..." + "on the floor?... in target?..." + "yes babe im telling you just trust me." really thought he was gonna vomit and needed an excuse to sit for a second.

bigt ➜ omg brotha was all over you when you wanted to smoke for your first date!!! he had two little rolling trays set up on his bed prepared for your smoke sesh/movie date.

low-key adorable... literally went out and bought a new one-hitter so you guys would have matching ones, they were green and had little turtles on top of them ): (isnt that so much fun) he wasn't even tryna be cheesy or anything genuinely was just very passionate about smoking. i def feel like him and yumi were smokers in high school so he knows a thing or two abt mary jane. 🤨

"after this bowl i have a gummy we can split..." his tolerance is quite high so he would wanna keep going even after like the fifth bowl. he likes to give his lungs a break though so no carts for him after like the third bowl. edibles from there on out. you know he's gonna be all weird n shit and make you guys split the edible by biting it in half. (like that lady and the tramp shittt bro.)

but at social events and parties??? he's a lot more closed off with smoking- more of a drinker at parties. if he is gonna get high he'll take an edible. "baby weed these days is crazy! I knew a guy who knew a guy who knew guy that got laced with crack!!!" yea he was being sarcastic duhhhh but he was genuinely scared of getting laced at a party.

tanner is a avid cart enthusiast tho!!! he would only use like smoke shop ones though- no street carts for tttt. he would probably prefer zaza's, hes a classic man with taste so he would prefer the cereal milk strain. carts are his go to for when hes just vibing in his room since there pretty much odorless. "I wasn't lying when I said I was smoking zaza!" finds the word zaza hilarious especially when he's stoned.

he takes maaanny tolerance breaks and would probably make you do the same. if you really struggled with staying away from weed he would make t-breaks fun or some shit. (like making a fun little tolerance break sticker chart 😩)

softwilly ➜ nick fr said 🤨 when you asked him to split a bowl with you one random friday night. he eventually agreed because you already had everything set up and he didnt wanna say no after you put all this effort into it ):

"ow! fuck... can you do the lighter babe..." needs help with the lighter, you guys were sat in kind of a awkward position smoking out of his bedroom window since he didnt want any of the guys to question anything 😒 sometimes those flames fight back with the bowls brooo. he has a playlist for smoking after that first time- it kind of becomes a tradition for you guys to try and smoke every friday/weekend (:

his tolerance is worst than isaacs bro. he’s either passed out after the second bowl or laughing at anything that moves. if you guys end up laughing too loud or just making too much noise in general he gets hyper aware about if the boys can hear all the ruckus >:( does not want your smoke sesh to be interrupted. very easily paranoid when high for sure.

he doesn’t love carts- but i mean your his weakness homeboy how can he say no to you every time you ask? “strawberry banana cart?…. fine. one hit, but just to see if it really tastes like strawberry’s and bananas.” it didn’t taste like strawberries and bananas- but he was stoned for the next thirty minutes after that (:

hates the smell of weed. he always has the windows open, a candle burning, incense burning, anything to diffuse the smell of marijuana. he’ll specifically ask you to blow the smoke towards the window- but sometimes you blow it towards the pillows on his bed… or some plushies even just to get a rise out of him. “fuck babe… now my bedrooms gonna smell like kush for a week.” + “it’s just a little smoke!” he would obviously say it sarcastically, he dgaf where you blow your smoke he just wants to be a pain in the ass for funzies.

another big believer in tolerance breaks- but he dosent even know what the fuck a t-break is. he would just tell you he’s taking a break from weed in general. homeboy is very inexperienced in the smoking department and stayed away from it until he was in his early twenties.

yumi ➜ blake definitely has the highest tolerance out of all of them, but he isn’t a raging stoner. probably prefers weed over alcohol especially at parties- has an occasional joint on the weekends or when he has the time but he’s not stoned 247.

yumi is a classic man, he likes classic things. he prefers bud almost over everything else. he won’t turn down an edible but he despises carts because of the aftertaste they have. “babe that shit taste like potting soil… i’ll just take the extra twenty minutes to roll up.” + “it does not taste like potting soil! it’s supposed to be peanut butter and jelly flavored…” after a bowl or two though… homeboy is loving up on the cart!!!! “damn okay… maybe this shit does taste like pb&j…” better be willing to stop at a smoke shop the next day or have your dealer on speed dial because blake is draining that pen 😩

omg he out of all tgc boys fucking loves little smoke sesh dates. like finding a nice little spot off a hiking trail or just in the woods and rolling up together ): he would make sure to have a playlist and everything just like nick this man is soft for you bro. “alright babe are we feelin’ apricot gelato or blue dream today?” very organized with his weed. he knows his favorite strains and doesn’t venture out farther than the ones he knows he likes.

blake is a whole different personality when high, like he’s still blake but… better? idk how to describe it gahhhhh!!! like he’s more laid back, cusses more frequently, very sarcastic, voice a bit deeper/raspier from smoking. “brotha look over there… that bird is straight chillin’ on that tree branch.” + “brotha?…” doesn’t even realize he’s doing it- you would bring it up afterwards and he always denies it. “babe i can promise you i’ve never talked like that when high, maybe you just think i do because your always stoned when i’m high.” if you ever showed him a video of how he talks when stoned he would become hyper aware of how he acts whenever he’s high 💀

homeboy rolls the best joints- how can he not? somehow they always turn out perfectly cylindrical and no leaf actually ever falls out of the joint. he’s got the magic joint rolling hands, what can he say.

omg don’t even get me started on fucking munchies. i am a chronic victim of binge eating while stoned and i have a gut feeling yumi is too. homeboy can be expected to be covered in cheetos dust if he plans on smoking. it brings out the best and worst in him, the worst being eating copious amounts of food in such a short period of time. “your such a fatty babe,” + “am not! you literally scarfed down three zebra cakes an hour ago…”

#tgc #the groupchat podcast #the group #yumi #softwilly #larrycroft #bigt #isaacwhy #isaacwhy x reader #yumi x reader #bigt x reader

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yanderepuck · 5 months

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@faust-bite and I were talking about this for a few hours.

But the mansion + the castle is doing secret Santa. Everyone pulls a name. BUT. rather than a gift they have to do a PowerPoint presentation on the person, just going off of what you can find in history books. You cannot talk to the person for information.

Minor rules:

The writers can't do each other

The Frenchies can't do each other

The castle trio have to do someone in the mansion

The brothers can't do each other

Sebastian will obviously not be part of this, but he is enjoying every single moment.

Theo got stuck doing Will. Which he was really upset about, but now he's invested.

Vincent is doing Charles...the lil angel baby is up there talking about ALLLL the shit Charles has done. Faust is covering Charles ears every now and then so he doesn't have to hear.

Leonardo: I hated researching you

Mozart: ...what the hell did you find

Leonardo: WHY would you write to your sister about SCAT

Mozart: ....

Leonardo: AND YOU MEOWED AT PEOPLE. Goddamn catboy

You also have to take a shot every time there is immense trauma.

Theo and Mozart bonding over how much they loved their wives

Arthur and Dazai bonding over being awful to their wives

Theo: you may be into scat.. but at least you were nice to your wife

Mozart: forget everything you've ever known about me.

Vlad is doing Dazai, aka Sebastian is saying half the word because this man can't say a damn thing in Japanese.

Vlad: here's a list of Dazai's drug abuse

Dazai: is it in alphabetical or chronological?

Also take a shot every time Leonardo attempts to say Mozarts full name. Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart

Dazai got Jean and he starts out with "So Jean is a woman."

Mozart is doing Napoleon and the title screen just says "Panty Sniffer". The weirder your title the more points you get

Mozart: so he wrote a self insert love novel

Will: yeah...ARTHUR MADE US READ IT

Dazai: it was the worst thing I read

Oh. The writers pregamed for this. They've been drinking all day just for this.

Theo starts his presentation on Shakespeare and Will sits up like "Shit. I wish I was sober for this one"

Theo: there's not much on his childhood...but he did get married as a minor

Arthur: you WHAT

Theo: he got a woman pregnant and then rushed to get married...she was 8 years older than him or something

Will: what can I say. I'm hot.

Jean got Isaac. That poor boy. He's not able to say anything of these science words.

Faust: ..and in conclusion Vincent killed himself

Theo: THAT'S WHAT THE PUBLIC THINKS??

Napoleon got Vlad and the funny thing is...he isn't in history..so he's searching for Vlad the Impaler

Napoleon: He once ate a meal and watched a kid and the parents slowly slide down wooden stakes and made the rest of the town watch it

Vlad: oh come on! Comte you know I didn't do that

Comte: *still mad at him about something from earlier* I don't know that actually

Leonardo: I said he did it

Comte is now getting everyone therapy for Christmas. That's what everyone truly needs

#ikevamp #ikemen vampire #ikevamp napoleon #ikevamp mozart #ikevamp leonardo #ikevamp vincent #ikevamp theo #ikevamp arthur #ikevamp isaac #ikevamp dazai #ikevamp jean #ikevamp shakespeare #ikevamp comte #ikevamp sebastian #ikevamp vlad #ikevamp faust #ikevamp charles

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probablyasocialecologist · 7 months

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Israeli president Isaac Herzog insisted that “an entire nation” was to blame for Hamas’s actions, and that the idea of “civilians not being aware, not involved” was “absolutely not true”. While Rageh Omar reported on this for ITV News, it did not make the BBC or the New York Times or Sky News. Nor did it make most anglophone outlets. Ariel Kallner, in a now-deleted tweet, called for another Nakba on the Palestinians, repeating the crime of 1948 in which 700,000 Palestinians were ethnically cleansed. “Right now, one goal: Nakba!” He exhorted. “A Nakba that will overshadow the Nakba of 48.” This was picked up by Associated Press but missed by most anglophone broadcasters and press. When Tally Gotliv, a Knesset member for Likud, called for a nuclear strike on Gaza – “Jericho Missile! … Doomsday weapon!” – and for “crushing and flattening Gaza … Without mercy! Without mercy!”, this also went curiously unnoticed. Again, when an anonymous Israeli defence official briefed Israeli broadcasters that Gaza would become “a city of tents” where “there will be no buildings”, it was largely ignored. When Sara Netanyahu’s advisor, Tzipi Navon, said that it would not be enough to “flatten Gaza”, and that Palestinians suspected of involvement in the Hamas attack should have their nails pulled out, their genitals removed and their tongues and eyes saved for last “so we can enjoy his screams”, “so he can see us smiling”, that too was curiously overlooked. The studied obtuseness of Western media includes carefully ignoring the most severe warnings about what is about to be done by Israel to Gaza. On Friday 13th, Israel ordered residents in the north of Gaza to “evacuate” to the south within 24 hours on pain of being bombed. Former Israeli ambassador Danny Ayalon suggested with a cynical smirk that they could go to the Sinai desert and live in “tent cities”. The Biden administration appears determined to enable this to happen, lobbying Egypt to take the refugee population. The language of evacuation, widely used by newspapers, was euphemistic. Over a million Gazans had just been given a death threat. They were being told at gunpoint to flee in an unrealistic amount of time, on just two roads that they were assured were safe from bombardment, only for a convoy fleeing south to be bombed, killing seventy people. They had no reason to believe they could ever return to their homes or that their homes would even exist. Here was the second Nakba that Ariel Kallner shouted for. A UN press release warned of “mass ethnic cleansing”, that would repeat the Nakba of 1948 “yet on a larger scale”. Two days after that warning, only the Independent among British newspapers had covered it. One honourable exception to the general omerta on explaining what the “expulsion” order means is the BBC’s Victoria Derbyshire who, interviewing former Israeli ambassador Mark Regev, quoted former UN head of humanitarian affairs Jan Egeland, saying: “The Israeli order for civilians to move from north to south is impossible and illegal. It amounts to forcible transfers and a war crime.” No anglophone newspaper, of course, mentions the word “genocide” in this context, though that is the term used by both Palestinians and Jewish groups opposed to Israel’s war, and is clearly what is implied by Israeli statements and actions. As Mustafa Bhargouti told CNN’s Christiane Amanpour, Israel is inflicting the triumvirate of “siege and collective punishment”, “genocide” through bombardment, and “ethnic cleansing”. The Israeli historian of the Holocaust, Raz Segal, describes Israel’s indiscriminate war on Gazan civilians and its assault on the conditions for life for the whole community, as “a textbook case of genocide” unfolding in front of us. For the press and the majority of pundits, the problem cannot be named. At most, liberal dissent attains to the insight that vengeance is not justice, as though what Israel is now threatening is merely reactive rather than programmatic.

#israel #palestine #gaza #liberalism #zionism

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xzhdjsj · 23 days

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Sakuverse characters in:

THE HUNGER GAMES

If you're interested in the website I used, it's this one!

LET'S BEGIN!!!

The Bloodbath

As the tributes stand on their podiums, the horn sounds.

Fran and Zaros fight for a bag. Fran gives up and retreats.

Dontis runs away from the Cornucopia.

Jonah and Niall fight for a bag. Jonah gives up and retreats.

Elias takes a spear from inside the cornucopia.

Nira finds a bag full of explosives.

Xanthus overpowers Audric, killing him.

YES YES YES GO XANNY

Rowan runs away from the Cornucopia.

Vic grabs a sword.

Alex runs away from the Cornucopia.

Andrew grabs a shovel.

Warden grabs a shovel.

Luca runs away from the Cornucopia.

Isaac runs away from the Cornucopia.

Cevyk takes a sickle from inside the cornucopia.

Matias runs away from the Cornucopia.

Queen Roena finds a bag full of explosives.

James runs away from the Cornucopia.

Yandere Boy breaks Adam's nose for a basket of bread.

Day 1

Kayson searches for firewood.

Dontis chases Fran.

Andrew receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Xanthus overhears Isaac and Asirel talking in the distance.

They're discussing info they know about the other participants and coming up with plans to win frrr

Niall hunts for other tributes.

Nira overhears Cevyk and Queen Roena talking in the distance.

Alex goes hunting.

Luca injures himself.

Elias injures himself.

Vic injures himself.

Zaros explores the arena.

Yandere Boy attacks Matias, but he manages to escape.

Adam receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Rowan thinks about home.

James receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

Warden runs away from Jonah.

Asirel and Kayson fight for a bag. Kayson gives up and retreats.

Night 1

Andrew receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

Adam goes to sleep.

Fran questions her sanity.

Dontis tends to Matias's wounds.

Xanthus taints Niall's food, killing him.

Cevyk and Elias sleep in shifts.

Nira lets Warden into her shelter.

Rowan begs for Yandere Boy to kill him. He refuses, keeping Rowan alive.

Vic convinces Isaac to snuggle with him.

OH? How'd bro manage that?? 🤭

Asirel cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

So while Vic and Isaac cuddle, Asirel just offs himself okay😭

Alex receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Kayson tends to his wounds.

Luca receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

James fends Jonah, Queen Roena, and Zaros away from his fire.

Day 2

Queen Roena, Luca, Xanthus, and Matias hunt for other tributes.

Cevyk dies of dysentery.

Okay this one KILLEWD ME. That does NOT sound like a good way to die😭

James stalks Zaros.

Vic camouflauges himself in the bushes.

Yandere Boy fishes.

Kayson sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Nira and Dontis split up to search for resources.

Isaac receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

This makes senseee, it's probably one of his clients!

Alex practices his archery.

Andrew sprains his ankle while running away from Fran.

Warden collects fruit from a tree.

Rowan hunts for other tributes.

Adam practices his archery.

Jonah travels to higher ground.

Elias hunts for other tributes.

Night 2

Adam, Warden, and James sleep in shifts.

Kayson, Elias, and Matias sleep in shifts.

Alex bashes Vic's head in with a mace.

Xanthus passes out from exhaustion.

Dontis, Rowan, and Fran cheerfully sing songs together.

Luca, Zaros, Yandere Boy, and Nira sleep in shifts.

Andrew and Isaac huddle for warmth.

OMG OMGGG GUYSSSS THE BOYFRIENDSSSS

Jonah stabs Queen Roena in the back with a trident.

Day 3

Warden tends to Isaac's wounds.

Isaac is getting princess treatment from everyone

Nira receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

James stalks Adam.

Yandere Boy stalks Xanthus.

Fran attacks Kayson, but he manages to escape.

Luca begs or Alex to kill him. He refuses, keeping Luca alive.

Andrew questions his sanity.

Matias discovers a cave.

Rowan practices his archery.

Zaros is unable to convince Jonah to not kill him.

Elias begs for Dontis to kill him. He refuses, keeping Elias alive.

Night 3

Alex, Luca, and Elias sleep in shifts.

Isaac starts a fire.

Xanthus lets Rowan into his shelter.

Andrew receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Jonah questions his sanity.

Adam tends to Fran's wounds.

Yandere Boy tries to treat his infection.

Dontis receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor.

Nira losts sight of where she is.

Kayson and James tell stories about themselves to each other.

Warden sets up camp for the night.

Matias dies from an infection.

Day 4

James throws a knife into Warden's head.

Kayson steals from Elias while he isn't looking.

Yandere Boy chases Andrew.

Xanthus receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Adam poisons Isaac's drink. He drinks it and dies.

Well damn, so much for princess treatment💀

Fran, Jonah, and Nira hunt for other tributes.

Rowan attacks Alex, but he manages to escape.

Dontis receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Luca discovers a river.

Status Update!

Night 4

Yandere Boy and Rowan work together to drown Jonah.

Luca, Elias, Adam, Fran, and Kayson sleep in shifts.

Alex stays awake all night.

Xanthus cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Nira and James hold hands.

Andrew strangles Dontis with a rope.

Andrew snapped yall

Day 5

Adam discovers a cave.

James is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

Rowan runs away from Alex.

Luca, Nira, Elias, Kayson, and Fran hunt for other tributes.

Yandere Boy sprains his ankle while running away from Andrew.

Xanthus sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate.

Night 5

Fran fends Rowan, Kayson, and James away from her fire.

Yandere Boy and Nira huddle for warmth.

Andrew, Elias, Xanthus, and Adam tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood.

Luca and Alex run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

Day 6

Fran accidently detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

Xanthus attacks Yandere Boy, but he manages to escape.

He knewwwww he knew he was stalking him back in day 3! Too bad he didn't get to reenact what he did to him for stalking Love

Luca receives clean water from an unknown sponsor.

Rowan receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

Adam injures himself.

Kayson and James work together for the day.

Elias forces Andrew to kill Alex or Nira. He decides to kill Nira.

Night 6

Rowan and Luca fight Andrew and Kayson. Andrew and Kayson survive.

Adam tends to his wounds.

Alex cooks his food before putting his fire out.

Yandere Boy stays awake all night.

Elias goes to sleep.

James strangles Xanthus with a rope.

NOOOOOOOO I WAS ROOTING FOR HIM MAN :(((

The Feast

The cornucopia is replenished with food, supplies, weapons, and memoirs from the tributes' families.

James and Kayson get into a fight over raw meat, but James gives up and runs away.

Yandere Boy decides not to go to The Feast.

Alex decides not to go to The Feast.

Elias sobs while gripping a photo of his friends and family.

Andrew stabs Adam with a tree branch.

Elias is feeling all the feels while Andrew is being a menace😭💀

Day 7

Elias strangles Kayson with a rope.

James thinks about home.

Yandere Boy discovers a river.

Alex tries to sleep through the entire day.

Andrew accidently steps on a landmine.

Night 7

Elias sees a fire, but stays hidden.

James and Alex sleep in shifts.

Yandere Boy climbs a tree to rest.

Day 8

Elias runs away from James.

Alex kills Yandere Boy with a sickle.

Status Update Again!

Night 8

Elias and Alex huddle for warmth.

James stays awake all night.

Day 9

Alex tends to Elias's wounds.

James bleeds out due to untreated injuries.

Night 9

Elias sets an explosive off, killing Alex.

LMAO I was scared Alex would win for a sec

THE WINNER

The winner is Elias from District 7!

Kills

5: Andrew

2: Elias

2: Jonah

2: Kayson

2: James

2: Xanthus

2: Alex

1: Yandere Boy

1: Adam

1: Rowan

Andrew didn't come to play 💀💀💀

---

well that was extremely LONG. I hope this is fun for you as it was for me!

im gonna go dissolve into my bed now!

#zsakuva #sakuverse #asmr #xanthus #xanthus claiborne #isaac #isaac rhoades #andrew marston #elias #zaros #alex #kayson #asirel #jonah #niall #dontis #cevyk

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illiterateaffairs · 9 months

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behind the scenes chapter two | the proposal

masterlist | prev | next

pairing: jamie tartt x actress!reader (ted lasso)

rating: T

word count: 4,116

summary: jamie makes you an offer you can’t refuse...or can you?

a/n: hi everyone! while this took a little longer than i hoped, i proudly present chapter 2 of behind the scenes! we are finally ramping up folks. i wish i could promise a regular upload schedule for this story, but i have had a lot going on this summer. but i have a free weekend now so hoping to get some chapters written that i can share a little at a time. for now, i hope you enjoy this new installment and i cannot wait to hear what you think!

It was still too early to really say, but the Richmond Greyhounds had a good feeling about this season,

They were coming off of a five game winning streak to start, and no one wanted to jinx it. Even so, they celebrated each win like it was their last, Isaac often treating them to a party at his place or Sam inviting them to his restaurant. Tonight though, Jamie was feeling particularly generous and offered drinks on him at Crown and Anchor. Of course, because he was footing the bill, suddenly everyone was available for a night out. That meant the whole team, the club staff, and their significant others. Including Keeley.

Honestly, Jamie had thought he’d been feeling better about the whole Roy and Keeley thing. But that was until one or both of them gave him that look. The “I’m sorry we’re together while you’re sad and alone” look. But he wasn’t sad. Or alone. He had his whole bloody team surrounding him. And what the fuck was wrong with being alone anyway?

Still it was annoying to accidentally catch Keeley’s eye when she was laughing with Roy and watch her happy face morph into one filled with guilt.

Jamie was enjoying himself at the bar with Sam, when he glanced over at Keeley from across the room. She and Rebecca were currently egging on their significant others who were engaged in a friendly game of darts. Jamie hadn’t meant to linger on her, but when she turned her head and found him looking in her direction, he froze. In an effort to assuage her sympathetic smile, he gave her a bigger one of his own and titled his pint glass towards her. Unfortunately, this just led to the blonde snaking her way through the crowd to get to him.

“Hello, boys,” she greets him and Sam.

Jamie nods at her, while Sam beams, “Hi Keeley! How have you been?”

“I’ve been great! How’ve you been, Sam?”

“Good. Even better after the win today.”

“I bet, you killed it out there,” Keeley nudged the footballer, “That last goal was incredible.”

Sam laughs and accepts the compliment. Keeley quickly turns to Jamie.

“You were amazing, too, Jamie!”

Jamie gives her a tight smile, “Thanks, Keeley.”

Keeley nods with a small smile of her own. Then she turns to the bartender to order a martini.

While her attention is elsewhere, Sam gives Jamie a discreet look that says “she’s still feeling sorry for you?”. Jamie just shakes his head while Sam pats him on the back. Unfortunately, this is the moment that Richard and Bumbercatch decide to call Sam over to their table, leaving Jamie and Keeley alone at the bar.

When Keeley receives her drink, he half expects her to head back over to Roy. But of course not. She parks herself right in the seat Sam used to occupy.

“So, what’s been going on with you lately, Jamie? Feel like I’ve hardly seen you for a bit.”

That’s been intentional. But he can’t tell her that.

He shrugs, “Uh, nothing much. Just focused on playing my best this season.”

Keeley nods, “Roy says you’ve been improving a lot during your trainings.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I can tell he’s really proud of you.”

Jamie huffs. He knows she’s telling the truth. He also knows that she’s not telling him this for no reason.

“You know, though, Jamie, there’s more to life than football?” Keeley adds when he doesn’t say anything else. “I get that you want to be the best. But you deserve a life outside of being a footballer. You should be taking time for yourself. Or going out with other people and doing non-football things.”

Jamie chuckles, rubbing at the condensation on his glass, “I’m doing that right now, aren’t I?”

Keeley laughs, “Well, yeah, but it's with the people you see everyday, celebrating the fact that you won a football match. You should be doing other things. Meeting other people. More friends. People who could be…more than friends.”

There it is.

Jamie sighs, finally facing her again, “Keeley, I promise you I’m fine. I do loads of things outside of football, with loads of people. I can also assure you I don’t need your help finding people to date either.”

Keeley frowns. Before she can attempt to clarify her concern, someone bursts through the pub’s doors, grabbing everyone’s attention.

Leave it to Dani Rojas to show up late with a girl on each arm.

“You guys!” he exclaims, “Some people are closing the streets over here and I saw a couple of trailers around the corner. I think they’re filming that one movie here this week!”

Suddenly the bar is flooded by excited chatter - more than it was before. Not a day has passed without someone talking about the big rom-com shooting in Richmond since production started last week. A couple members of the team head outside to check it out for themselves.

Jamie laughs to himself as he turns back around in his seat. He made a conscious decision to not tell anyone about his encounter with the famous actress starring in said movie. Mainly because no one would believe him. But he also sort of just wanted to keep that memory for himself.

As he goes over that morning, once again, in his head, he remembers the blonde beside him, who is still looking at him with sad eyes. He slowly turns back to face her.

“Jamie, I know your life and your relationships are really none of my business,” she starts off again now that she has his attention, “I just don’t want you to shut anyone out-”

“I’m not shutting anyone out,” he quickly insists.

“But Jamie-”

“Actually, I’ve been seeing someone,” he says before he can stop himself, or even process what he’s doing.

Keeley’s eyebrows raise in surprise, “Really?”

Shit.

Jamie instantly regrets his words, but he knows walking it back would make him feel even worse.

“Uh…yeah.” He pathetically responds.

Keeley doesn’t seem to catch his hesitation, electing to be excited for him, and most likely relieved, “Jamie that's great! Who is it? Is it anyone I know? How long have you been seeing them?”

Jamie’s head swirls with her various questions, mixed with his previous thoughts of you and your brief conversation about relationships.

“Um, it's no one you know personally,” he decides to answer very slowly and carefully, “Its new. Really new. And we both want to keep it private.”

Keeley rolls her eyes playfully, nudging his shoulder, “Come on, you can tell me.”

Jamie manages a half smile, “If it goes anywhere, I promise you’ll be one of the first to know.”

“Alright, I’ll take that,” Keeley gives him a satisfied smile, “I’m happy for you, Jamie.”

That makes one of them. What had he gotten himself into?

Even though it's only been one week and you’ve shot approximately 3 scenes, you were killing this rom-com if you do say so yourself. You were getting along swimmingly with the cast and crew, especially your co-lead Charlie. He was just as charming as he was the day you auditioned together, and just as sweet when you weren’t rolling. The friendship you were starting to build was nice and you had a feeling it would translate well on screen. Take that haters.

It was now your second week of production; your first full week of actual filming. You were still working on the studio lot today, but soon you’d be on location and you couldn’t wait to see more of Richmond. After a busy morning, filled with exciting scenes, you were now headed to your trailer to have lunch. You were hoping Margot could grab you something from craft services while you changed out of your costume. However, when you arrive at your trailer, you find her already there and looking…anxious.

“Hey…?” you greet but it turns into a question as it drags out.

“Hi,” Margot responds, but doesn’t hide her unease, “So, we have a bit of a situation.”

Your eyebrows scrunch together, beyond curious to know what could possibly be going on. “What is it?”

“There’s this man who showed up to the studio asking for you, claiming he knows you. You know, normally we’d just get rid of them, but apparently he’s some famous athlete here and some execs thought it would be a bad look if we turned him away. His name is James or something…”

“Jamie?” you ask without thinking.

Margot’s eyebrows shoot up, “Oh, you do know him?”

You give a half shrug, “Sort of. We met when I was on my walk last week. He helped me hide from photographers.”

“Oh my God, why didn’t you tell me that?”

“I did tell you that!”

“You didn’t tell me the guy was famous.”

You roll your eyes, “I didn’t think it was a big deal, I meet famous people all the time.”

“Ones that show up randomly to your set?” Margot asks incredulously. “Have you kept in touch with him? Did you invite him here?”

“No. And no,” you’re once again brought back to the reality of what’s happening. Why was Jamie here? You were once again out of your mind curious. “Where is he now?”

“In one of the conference rooms,” Margot tells you, “Do you want to go see why he’s here?”

You didn’t just want to. You needed to. So with a bag of Cheez-Its in hand, you and Margot head for the studio.

When you arrive at the room where you’d previously done a table read the week before, Jamie turns around in a swivel chair at the head of the desk on the farthest side of the room like a super-villain. But then he gives you a wide grin, and your previous comparison no longer holds up.

“See, I told you she’d come!” Jamie exclaims to the security guard keeping him company. The man ignores him and gives you and Margot a look, and upon your signal he leaves the room.

“Are you stalking me or something?” you ask in lieu of a greeting as you sit in the chair at the other end of the table. Margot plants herself behind you with her arms crossed.

Jamie smirks at you, “Don’t flatter yourself, love.” Then he frowns, “Wait, have you had a stalker before?”

You pause, “Not in the traditional sense.”

“Alright, I’m definitely going to ask you for that story later,” Jamie shakes his head, “But that’s not why I’m here.”

“Yeah, why are you here?” you question, ripping open your Cheez-Its as your only form of lunch, “And how did you get here?”

“Let’s just say I’m very persuasive,” he states, the smirk reappearing on his face. Then he looks Margot up and down, “Who’s this?”

You have to resist the urge to roll your eyes. Jamie was a lot more cocky outside of his little café hideaway. “Margot. She’s my assistant. And she’s staying in here if that’s what you’re going to ask.”

“Does your assistant go everywhere you go?”

“She does when a strange man is following her boss around,” Margot answers for you.

Jamie nods once, “Fair enough.”

“Jamie,” you sigh, “Not that I’m not happy to see you, although I would have preferred not to be ambushed at my place of work after meeting you once, but can you please just tell me what you’re doing here before the rest of the set gets wind of a rogue soccer player lingering about.”

“First of all, you know that it’s called football over here,” Jamie tsks as he stands up, moving to take a seat closer to you. “Second of all, I’m here because I have a proposition for you. A business proposal of sorts.”

You quirk an eyebrow, “And that is?”

“You know that fake relationship your publicist wants to try out? I’d like to apply for the job.”

Your jaw drops a little, and you hear Margot let out a tiny gasp from behind you, “You told him that?”

You don’t bother answering her, “Why, uh, why would you want to do that?”

Jamie’s bravado falters a little. He glances at Margot again, but decides he can still admit it in front of her, and you, “You know that girl I told you about? The one I still see all the time?” you nod, “Well, it’s getting progressively harder to be around her, especially when she’s always giving me these guilty looks. It drives me insane. And last night she made a comment about how I need to put myself out there and meet someone, and I just snapped. I figured if she thought I had met someone, she’d let it go and things could start to go back to normal.”

Your stomach lurches. You feel for him, you do. But this was just absurd.

“And you didn’t think to, I don’t know, actually ask someone out? Or just find another random girl to pretend to date you? I thought Jamie Tartt had no problem finding girlfriends.”

His lips quirk up just a tad, “Ah, you remember that?”

This time you do roll your eyes, “Jamie.”

“Sorry, sorry. Okay, yeah, sure I could probably find someone else. But that wouldn’t work. My ex knows I’m not looking for flings anymore. And some other random girl isn’t going to be convincing. Fake dating you makes the most sense, because you’re already good at acting-”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome - and this would benefit you too for all the reasons you told me the other day. It’s win-win,” When he sees the thoughtful yet hesitant look on your face, he continues, “Look, it’s not like I’m asking you to do this forever. You’re filming this movie for three months right? We play pretend while you’re here and get your publicist off your back. Then, we can fake break-up before you leave, and you won’t have to worry about bringing me home for Christmas. What do you say?”

You continue studying Jamie, and you can’t believe how serious he sounds about all of this. After a few moments, you also glance at Margot who, despite looking a bit apprehensive, also seems…intrigued by his offer. When she catches your eye, all she can manage is an unsure shrug. Fuck.

Finally turning back to Jamie, you take a deep breath, “I say…no.”

The hopeful look on Jamie’s face immediately falls. “What? Why?”

“I just…can’t. I don’t want to do it.”

“But…”

You shake your head, as you start to stand, “No, Jamie, I’m sorry. I understand how you feel. I really do. But I don’t want to do it. I told you the other day. I don’t want to,” As you brush past Margot and reach the doorway, you turn back to Jamie, “I’m sorry.”

All Jamie does is give you a tight smile and a nod before you take off down the hall towards your trailer.

Margot is on your tail, and as you get ready to resume filming, you can tell she wants to ask about everything that just went down. But you just shake your head, and she gets the memo.

Unfortunately for you, your brain doesn’t get the memo, because Jamie’s offer is all you can think about the rest of the day. In between takes and set-ups, your mind wanders back to your conversation and the desperate look in his eyes when he describes his situation with his ex. It’s clear he’s hurting; both from her rejection, as well as the constant interaction with her and the man she chose instead of him.

You think that’s what scared you; that Jamie was so invested in this pretend scheme. It made it intense; real even though the whole point of the idea was far from it. You didn’t like the risks a PR relationship posed - you never had - but doing it with someone like Jamie made the stakes even higher. If something went wrong, not only were you going to be hung out to dry in the tabloids, but Jamie would have to deal with the consequences of having his ex and their friends know that he had lied. And that wasn’t going to make their situation any better.

But there was something else holding you back. A fear you couldn’t place, one that makes your chest heavy.

Of course it was at times like these, when your thoughts were already spiraling, that you make the self-destructive decision to feed them by reading about yourself online. Most comments or tweets or articles were kind, but those did little to nothing to improve your mood, when one negative post did everything to destroy it. And on your commute home, you found yourself hyper-fixating on one particular tweet by a user pointing out your biggest insecurity at the moment.

The tweet was in response to an article about the movie you were filming.

“A rom-com starring Y/N Y/L/N makes no sense when no one wants to date her irl”

It was the kind of thing Harry was talking about. While deep down you knew the sentiment was far from the truth, it didn’t mean people didn’t think that on account of your public persona. Nevermind that you preferred to keep things private; no public relationships meant you were an unlovable loser. And while a majority of people would argue against it, or just not give a shit about your dating life, it still stung.

So, without much thought, you told your driver not to take you home, but instead to a local café for a late night pick-me-up. And you could only hope, some company.

Jamie knew his plan was a stupid idea. He knew as soon as he lied to Keeley about seeing someone that it was going to bite him in the ass. But he couldn’t help but get his hopes up that maybe this would give him the out he’s been looking for around Keeley and Roy; an escape from the sympathy and third-wheeling. At least long enough for them to stop feeling like their relationship was an inconvenience to him.

Of course, deciding to fake-date a famous actress was a long shot in and of itself, but you had brought it up first. And a part of him thought you really hit off that day at the café.

Which is how he ended up right back at the same place. He’d unconsciously walked himself here after training and had been wallowing over cups of tea ever since.

He rather enjoyed people watching when he wound up sitting alone. Very interesting people wandered in and out of this café. He assumes they’re also the type of people that prefer keeping to themselves. He often made up stories about them in his mind to keep himself entertained or when he wanted to get his mind off of his own life.

Today he was particularly interested in an older man perched at a table facing the window. He’d been there just about as long as Jamie had, working through a word-search book. He appears to be nearing the end of the book, and Jamie decides he has grandchildren - five of them to be exact - that buy him a new word search book for every birthday and Christmas. He also decides that he and late-wife were regulars at this café, and even though she isn’t around anymore, he still comes here every week in honor of her memory.

Jamie’s almost made himself emotional over his made-up story for this stranger, when the bell above the door rings. Ah, hopefully someone he can come up with a less depressing story for. However, he realizes he already knows a thing or two about the new customer that has entered the room.

It’s you.

He has to force himself not to look shocked by your presence, as you scan the room, eyeing each patron one by one. When your eyes finally land on him, you seem to be relieved to see him. Jamie quickly becomes hyper-aware of the fact that he’s sitting in the same spot the two of you had occupied when you were here last week, and he hopes you don’t dwell on it.

You walk further into the café, but instead of immediately going over to him, you approach the barista. After a few minutes, you slowly head over to Jamie and hesitantly place a to-go cup and blueberry scone onto the table.

“You must’ve really liked their scones to come all the way back here,” Jamie comments after a beat.

You push the scone closer to him, “I actually got it for you.”

Jamie’s taken aback, “Oh. Thanks.” After a couple of seconds, he adds, “Do you want to sit?”

You nod, pulling out the chair across from him. He is once again overwhelmed that he’s casually speaking to you, even though it's the third time he’s done it and he was particularly over-confident the last time.

“I actually came here to see you,” you admit eventually.

Though he’d expected that, it still felt weird to hear. “Oh?”

You nod again, “I wanted to apologize for earlier.”

“You want to apologize?” Jamie can’t help but ask bewilderedly, “I’m the one who ambushed you with a dumb idea.”

You bite your lip, “...It wasn’t that dumb.” Jamie’s eyes widen just slightly so you quickly continue, “I’m sorry that I shut you down so quickly. I think the idea of actually doing it freaked me out.”

“Can I ask why?”

You’re unsure if you have a clear enough answer to give him since it wasn’t so clear yourself all the reasons it scared you, “I think it felt like there was a lot weighing on it, with how badly you wanted it to work out. It also kind of feels like giving into the whole idea means validating the people online complaining about me, you know?”

Jamie nods slowly, “Yeah, that makes sense. I guess it’s sort of similar in my situation.”

“Yeah. And I know eventually we'll prove them wrong. Like when you’re ready to move on or next year when this movie comes out and they see how amazing I am in it.”

Jamie chuckles lightly. “No, yeah. You’re right.”

“But I don’t want to wait,” you say defiantly, surprising Jamie again, “I’m tired of hearing about why I'm not good enough to be in a relationship, even one in a fucking movie, and if that means pretending to be in one in real life for a little while, I’ll do it.”

“Wait, really, you changed your mind?” Jamie asks, sitting up straighter than he’s ever been.

“Yeah, fuck it, I’ve got nothing to lose,” you shrug, “And like you said, I’m a good actor.”

“Hell yeah,” Jamie smiles for a brief moment, before it drops, “Wait, are you going to do it with someone else, or were you still talking about doing it with me?”

You give him an amused smile, “I was talking about you.”

“Okay, good. I got worried there for a second.”

You chuckle, “Honestly, it works out really well. Dating a soccer player from overseas that I met while filming here seems a lot more plausible than some other A-List actor I’ve never met out of the blue.”

“Okay you’re really going to have to work on calling it football, that’s a real deal breaker for me.” Jamie corrects, but there’s still a smile on his face.

“Got it. Well we can work through a list of demands later, but for now I should probably get home. My driver is waiting outside and I have a call-time at the crack of dawn.”

As you push out of your chair to stand up, Jamie remembers something, “You’re filming around Richmond starting this week right? My teammates saw trailers being set up near a pub we go to a lot.”

You nod, “Yeah we actually start filming around town in a couple days. Maybe I can pop in one day after work and say hi to my fake-boyfriend’s friends.”

Despite the word fake, Jamie finds his cheeks warming up, “They would shit themselves.”

You giggle, “That makes it more fun.” Reaching into your pocket, you slide your phone across the table, “Put your number in so we can talk strategy soon.”

Jamie nods and eagerly does so. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

“Yeah,” you smile, “Good night, Jamie.”

He watches you exit the café with a smile on his face, feeling giddy all of a sudden. Not just at the idea of stopping Keeley and Roy’s guilt train, but getting to know you better.

You were right. This was going to be fun.

Taglist: @respondingtoshowerthoughts-blog @royalestrellas @loveslide @torpedo--belly @skewedcherries @littlemisssunshine192 @hopefulromances @breakmyheartlater @ohpuckyeah @alipap3 @meg-ro @rexorangecouny @pythagothug @gcidrvsh @lightninginab0ttle it wouldn’t let me tag the last couple of you, but i will keep trying <3

#jamie tartt x reader #jamie tartt imagine #jamie tartt fanfiction #jamie tartt x f!reader #jamie tartt x female reader #ted lasso fanfiction #ted lasso fanfic #behind the scenes series #mine

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ceruleanwhore · 1 year

Text

So I’ve seen a lot of headcanons and fics floating around the Cybird/Ikemen fandom spaces about pregnancy or having children, but I have yet to see any childfree content at all, as @sevenai pointed out in a post they made about ikevamp. As such, I’ve put together a list of childfree headcanons for all the ikevamp men for those of us who want such things.

Napoleon — After the tragedy of his only legitimate son’s premature death during his life, I think it’s perfectly plausible that he would not want to try to produce another child of his own. Besides, the children he teaches with Isaac do more than enough to fill the void and warm his heart. I imagine that, at some point, the topic of children would come up and, when his partner would nervously disclose that she doesn’t actually want to have any of their own, he would feel relief.

Leo — Being in a relationship with anyone at all (especially a human) is already more than enough heartbreak, I don’t think he could handle producing a child of his own that he would then have to watch die someday even though no parent should ever outlive their child.

Mozart — This man is obsessive about cleanliness and absolutely cannot tolerate noise. There’s no way in hell he’s ever having a kid.

Arthur — He had five children in his life and so I feel like, for him, he’s already done that and sufficiently fulfilled that desire, so now he doesn’t feel the need to do it over again in this second life. I think he’d be willing to give it a go if that’s what his partner wanted, but I also think he’d be just as content not to.

Vincent — I get that in ikevamp he’s a sweet boy, but he has a past full of tremendous mental health struggles, and I think he’d be afraid of passing that to any potential children. I also think he would be worried about his ability to care for a child.

Isaac — Dude’s already worried he’s going to snack on Comte’s ferret or something, like being in a relationship with a human is PLENTY for him to worry about. Also, he’s a good person who views himself as a dangerous monster, which means he definitely won’t be having kids any time soon. Plus, like Napoleon, he has their little gaggle that they teach and that is genuinely plenty for him. Yeah, I think he’d be perfectly happy to have his partner tell him that there is no desire for children on their part.

Theo — I think he’d be more apathetic about children, where he doesn’t really have a desire for them but he would be willing to have kids if that’s what his partner wanted. He already has his partner, his bother, and his career, and that is more than enough for him to be happy.

Jean — First off, Jean is 19. Secondly, he hates himself and what he is, like Carlisle from Twilight. Maybe he would’ve wanted kids in life, but there is no way in hell he’d want to create half vampire spawn.

Will — Given that he was always running away from his wife and kids in his life, I think it’s safe to assume he never wanted them, even before he died. I think, given the context of his real marriage with Anne, he would be grateful to discover that his partner doesn’t want to have kids with him and it would be another indicator to him that this relationship is actually a good match.

Comte — I think he has no desire of his own for children and I also think he is hella devoted to whoever he chooses to be in a relationship with and will do anything to make them happy, so even if he did want kids he still would 100% fold to a childfree partner. There’s also that element of tragedy like with Leonardo that we’ll also see with Vlad.

Dazai — He’s either actively suicidal or very recently got better and definitely does not feel like he has the capacity to care for a child. Also, someone who hates themselves so much they’d choose to become a vampire solely so they could live long enough to kill their infant self is definitely not going to want to reproduce. Like Isaac, he sees himself as dangerous and I don’t think he would trust himself with something like having kids and I think that being in a relationship is already massively stressful for him.

Sebastian — He has a terminal illness, so there could be concern about passing whatever it is to any future children. He also probably would just not want to have to subject children to dealing with his inevitable, premature death. Even without all that, like if he can get magically cured by Faust or something, I don’t really see him actively wanting to have children, like I think he’d be more of a “travel the world with your partner in a delightfully comfortable DINK arrangement” kind of guy.

Vlad — Yeah I think he’d 100% just be a “whatever you want” guy who values his partner above all else, including potential people who don’t exist yet.

Faust — He’s kinda weird with kids tbh in a way that reminds me of myself — uncomfortable but kind of nice and gives in easily to whatever they want — which makes me think he doesn’t really like them and doesn’t really want them. I could see him kind of wanting to reproduce with a human as an experiment, but I really don’t see him genuinely desiring to have children.

Charles — I get the vibe that he’ll be a very possessive yandere once he’s in a relationship and won’t want to share his partner with anyone at all, including potential children of their own. He actually gives me the impression that even if his partner came to him and shared that they genuinely wanted to have children with him, he might insist they not because of this trait of his.

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