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clarktooncrossing · 5 months

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Giraffe's Eye View: Christmas Specials Special (2023) | The Christmas Tree

Chestnuts are roasting on an open fire. Jack Frost is nipping at your nose. Mom and dad can hardly wait for school to start again. All the dogs in the neighborhood somehow learned to bark Jingle Bells in sync. Yet retail workers are still more annoyed with Mariah Carey. Snow is getting shoveled, tossed, and formed into sentient beings leading parades without permits. It makes for an excellent distraction as the Krampus abducts children for bad behavior. Fruitcake is exchanged only to find its permanent home in the garbage. Terrorists have hijacked the Holiday office party right before your boss can give you a Jelly of the Month Club membership as your bonus. And of course, the Turducken has returned to wreak its fiery vengeance upon an unsuspecting world! If all this doesn’t put you in the Christmas spirit, perhaps these following Holiday specials will!

Greetings people of today and robots of tomorrow! It is I, Santa Clark, your geeky giraffe friend with a deep love of Christmas! My obsession for the yuletide is rivaled only by Maleficent’s hatred for it, which is saying a lot considering she once teamed up with Mad Madam Mim to kidnap the literal Spirit of Christmas. Yes, that really happened. I know this due to my annual pilgrimage to the Island of Misfit Specials, home to obscure or nerdy festive media ranging from movies, TV episodes, and comics. It’s no easy journey. Constantly I find myself confronted by sinister snowmen, genocidal gingerbread men, and worst of all, crappy commercials. Getting stabbed in the foot by a candy-cane wielding cookie is one thing, but I swear I’ve seen that ad for Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium more times than I’ve seen Miracle on 34th Street! Sometimes at night I catch myself reciting that jingle. Wilbur’s White Elephant Gift Emporium: Where Christmas meets Convenience! Huh, maybe Maleficent had a point.

Nah, my deep-rooted appreciation for this time of year can weather even the most moronic marketing! It helps that most of the merry media I’ve seen have put me in the perfect Holiday mood! Examples include the time a Ninja Turtle found himself trapped in a truck full of stollen toys, a drunk department store Santa stumbling onto a wish-granting magic bag, Big Bird nearly becoming a popsicle, Gwenpool waking up in a world where Galactus took the place of jolly ol’ Saint Nicholas, a terrifying tree stump trying to slaughter some saps over a stupid ship war, and the year when Death gave the Little Match Girl the greatest gift of all. Needless to say, I thought I had seen it all. That is, until I took my friends on a trip to the Island, tasking them to find me new, strange, seasonal specials to review! Some of them were fair, finding me festive favorites as comforting as coco in front of the fireplace. Others were fiendish, wanting to feed off my misery like Gremlins after midnight. Regardless of how naughty or nice my companions were, I’ve compiled all of their suggestions into a makeshift advent calendar! So stay tuned everyday until Christmas to see how badly my buddies can shred what little sanity I have left.

On the tenth day of Christmas, my buddies gave to me...

Wow, this movie is so despised that tumblr doesn't have any GIFs of it. Yup, sounds 'bout right.

Fellow brony Rigby (RigbyH00ves) must’ve thought he was so clever. Ha ha, he chuckled and clucked, that’ll show that geeky giraffe! Nobody can withstand the tinsel-coated turd that is The Christmas Tree! It was banned by the Geneva Convention for being too cruel! If Santa really wanted to punish naughty children, he’d drop a DVD copy of this in their stalking. Chuck Jones died in vain! So how could that nerdy nitwit with the long neck possibly survive this? An evil grin no doubt spread across the sadistic stallion’s face. Yes, that evil equine got the better of me. Or at least he would’ve had I not streamed this Christmas crapshow on my Discord server. Bundled alongside other seasonal stinkers, a fun time was had by all as we mercilessly mocked this animated abomination. So despite my buddy’s best efforts, I actually had fun while watching this infamous fruitcake of a film. The consensus amongst my companions and I was unilateral: this freak’n sucked!

Every aspect of this movie was wrong. Not just bad, wrong. Starting with our story. If you thought the Rat King and Lord Zedd ranked high on the vile scales, you haven’t met Mrs. Mavilda (Helen Quirk)! She’s a wicked woman who mistreats the orphans under her care. Meals consist of gray slop while she dines on bountiful banquets. All their clothes are torn and tattered, save for whenever Mr. Mayor shows up to inspect the premises. That’s when they’re forced into fancy clothes to fool the pitiful politician. Once he hands over the two sacks full of cash he carries on him for some reason, Mavilda immediately strips the two tikes down to their undies. I know this because the camera lingering on their half-naked bodies longer than necessary. Classy! Where’s all that money going, you ask? In the pot at her next poker game. Not only does she gamble with money meant for lonely children, she keeps losing every game! Kenny Rogers once sang you’ve gotta know when to hold’m and when to fold’m. Someone should tell this lady never to touch them. One wonders how she even keeps the lights on if she’s this terrible at Texas Hold ‘Em. Either way, the kids suffer for her crippling addiction. They’re not even allowed to keep a dog they find named Licorice. Not because their cruel caretaker is allergic, she just hates happiness. Saying it’s a hard knock life would be a gross understatement!

What little hope they get comes from a singular pine tree sprouting fourth from the hill in the backyard they’ve named Mrs. Hopewell. In reality this balsam fir is actually Mr. Mavilda, reincarnated after his betrothed butchered and buried his body in the backyard. He had been kind to the kids and had learned of his wife’s embezzling scheme but was sadly powerless to stop her. Now he’s back, hungry for vengeance! Let the snow run red with the blood of his wife! All shall love Hopewell and despair!

Ha, I wish. Nah, it’s just a plant. An inanimate object. Zero chance of it telling the pipsqueaks to feed it fresh dentist. Still, how freak’n sad is that? Their only companion in this crazy world is a freak’n tree! Really makes Whatsherface’s subplot from Power Rangers feel that much more pointless, doesn’t it? Maybe she should’ve been visited by the Care Bears! Heaven knows they’re not gonna help these kids in actual need.

Instead help arrives in the form of Judy Kindle (Karen Drygas) and her family. Having recently arrived in the small community of Townville, they meet up with Mr. Mayor to ask for a job. Makes perfect sense, obviously. Next time you’re seeking employment, go directly to your local mayor! He assigns Judy’s husband to the coal mine where he effectively disappears from the story. I actually forgot he existed until the very end when he just randomly appears to contribute nothing. They could’ve had him die in the mines and I still wouldn’t have cared. Guy got sidelined by a tree, he should fire his agent! Judy fares better, paired up with a plucky fox to solve a missing mammals case in the big city. Wait, sorry, I was thinking of a far better piece of cartoon content. Of course she and her two children end up at the House of Hopewell.

Judy immediately ingratiates herself to her young charges by reading stories, packing picnics, helping to hide Licorice, even building a playground around their tree. Granted that must be horrifying for Mrs. Hopewell, having the remains of your dead relatives placed around your body. It’d be like Hannibal Lector giving you a jacket made out of your cousin. Eh, whatever makes the kids happy! She even introduces them to Christmas since apparently they hadn’t heard of it until then. And so, Judy wolves a magical tale of gumdrops and penny-whistles. She told of toy-making elves and flying reindeer. But best of all, she told of the one they call Santa Claus. Granted they kind’a tuned out when Santa’s postman pal was revealed to have been lying this whole time, otherwise they were intrigued! Especially since Mrs. Mavilda never let them have a Holiday before. For as I’m sure I’ve made clear by now, she’s a three triple-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce.

She’s also a piss-poor poker player. Mr. Mayor, seeing firsthand how well Judy’s handled her duties, delegates more tax payer dollars so she and Mavilda can buy gifts for the rascals. The latter immediately loses it all to a rival that clearly cheated. Lady, what deck of cards feature five aces? I call bull! A mindset mirrored by Judy when she confronts her boss, recovering from a hangover the following morning. Deciding her underling has got to go, she conspires to bury her next to Mr. Mavilda with the aid of Horace and Jasper’s slow cousin, Dennis. By that I mean the dastardly duo plan on planting something on Judy so the cops’ll think she’s a thief. Right, cuz evidence can’t be planted or dusted for fingerprints to prove the poor woman didn’t do it. The orphans, having overheard the sinister scheme, decide they have to find help. Their first option is Mr. Mayor, but none of them know where he lives. Seriously, is this guy the only authority figure in this town? Seeing no other option, our pint-sized protagonists pick the next best thing: Santa Claus! Magnificent little bastards, I’ve read your book! Finding Santa’s super secret workshop up in the North Pole must be easier than finding some rich dude’s mansion!

Unsurprisingly, it's not. One of Judy’s kids, Lilly, almost dies from a bear attack! Looks like the bare necessities got her in the end! Her mother hasn’t time to worry though, Mavilda and Dennis are about to chop Hopewell down! Before the deed can be done, Mr. Mayor drives up and finally notices how crappy the children have been treated. He vows that their tree won’t be touched right as Mavilda makes a break for the chainsaw! Good lord, this woman is wicked! Did nobody hug her when she was younger? How has she not been visited by the Ghosts of Christmas? What does she do in her spare time, punches puppies and kick kittens? She makes Luthor Krank seem charitable in comparison. Somebody stop this lunatic!

Deciding enough is enough, Mrs. Hopewell summons lightning down from the heavens to strike down her foe where she stands! And you all scoffed at my reincarnation theory! May this serve as a warning to all non-believers. Never piss off the pines! Lest you too spend the Holidays in hell!

Pfff, okay, so Mrs. Mavilda doesn’t die. Neither did Lilly. She was saved by a Santa Claus who shouldn’t be near schools! Some sadistic cartoonists spent too much time detailing this freak’s face! Holy crap, if this guy was promoting Coca Cola there’d be a notable uptake in Pepsi drinkers. Meeting this menace wouldn’t make riding the Polar Express worth it at all! I joked before, but is it too late to turn Klaus back on? Thankfully eerie ol’ Saint Nick leaves as soon as he arrives, giving the orphans some much needed new outfits while raining presents down from the sky. As for Mavilda, that bolt scrambled her brains, turning her good because logic is for losers! Judy even hires her on as an assistant, though hopefully not a financial one. Like The Narrator says, you always win if you are good. Are we sure this script wasn’t written by orphans?

Needless to say, the narrative is brainless. Yet like an onion, it’s just one of the many mayors that makes you cry the further you cut into it. There’s also the terrible voice acting. Remember when I insulted the young actors from Care Bears? I apologize to them all, they may as well have been the cast of A Charlie Brown Christmas compared to these tikes. For that they hired legit kids to play the Peanuts gang. Here it sounds like they force-fed dialogue to random kindergarteners before settling for the first take. Granted the adult actors are already abysmal and children aren’t exactly known for always delivering great performances. Really, I feel sorry for any child cast in this crap. I sincerely hope each one of them are living long, fulfilling lives away from show business. Having said that, they still brought great shame onto their households. Every line delivered results in Mel Blanc rolling in his grave. Teacher says everytime this movie’s watched, an angel dies!

Having said all that, the worst aspect by far is the animation. Good lord this special is ugly to look at! Not a lot is known about this picture’s production, save for that it was overseen by acclaimed animator Flamarion Ferreira. His filmography includes He-Man and She-Ra, Pink Panther, Animaniacs, Tiny Toons, Phineas and Ferb, and Penn Zero: Part-Time Hero. You’d think the guy would know how to depict believable movement, lip sync dialogue, or do something as basic as draw engaging expressions. Calling this a cartoon would be an insult to the medium! All the movements are rigid or sudden, no dialogue comes close to syncing up with the mouth movements, and the expressions are what nightmares are made of. Those twin girls haunting the Overlook ain’t got nothing on these orphans! Oh but if you can’t think it can get worse from here, believe me, we’re taking a turn down a different street.

#clarktooncrossing #giraffe's eye view #review #christmas 2023 #Christmas #The Christmas Tree #The Christmas Tree 1991 #crappy cartoon #cartoon review #Christmas review #RibgyH00ves

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thingsiharboradisdainfor · 3 years

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I Despise the Turducken

Though the holiday season has long since passed, my hatred for a certain festive meal prevails. The culinary abomination that is the turducken originated in the United States, as all horrors do. I may be unqualified to speak on the turducken as I haven’t (and never plan on) experiencing it, but the mere thought of it fills me with such rage that simply can’t be ignored.

For those blessed with oblivion in regards to the turducken, allow me to tarnish the peace you may have once felt. Picture this: One plucked turkey, a Thanksgiving staple, and on its own perfectly enjoyable. But alas, all that is good must be ruined. In this case, with another variety of poultry: the duck. The unsuspecting turkey will soon find another bird stuffed where ‘the sun don’t shine’ as the saying goes. This process is referred to as ‘engastration’ which couldn’t sound less appealing if it tried. ‘Engastration’ is reminiscent of a medical procedure your doctor recommends after you eat gas station sushi. And, because this dish is of American origin, one cannot stop there- yet another bird is mercilessly shoved into the sorry asshole of the second. Traditionally, a chicken is subject to this miserable end. This grotesque Franken-bird is then finished off with some form of stuffing in its cracks and crevices, just in case the diner has yet to develop some form of organ failure. I can’t begin to comprehend how undignified this must be for both parties involved, fowl and person.

The monstrosity is then baked and served to the crude barbarians that enjoy it.

#I despise the turducken #abhorrent american cuisine #turducken #thanksgiving #rage #text post

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bowtied-pasta · 3 years

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Slender Slender Slender Slender, my absolute mans 🥰🥰 I've been wondering what each enderbeings favourite books to read and favourite food are? - King 👑

@spaghettikings

Slender

History books written by enderbeings. As an outside source that isnt biased, they have the closest to accurate retelling of human history. He finds humans interesting at times.

He’s a high class man, so you’re probably expecting a fancy food, but he rarely cares about that. He does appreciate a good omelet though.

Splendor

He likes cook books, from all over really. Picking up different ways of making foods and even coming up with his own.

Cheez-its are just divine. They’re not crackers and they’re not chips but they’re oh so good. Prefers them over his own treats most times.

‘Fender

Pun books. But also like… I can see him being the type to enjoy a news paper every so often.

He can and will steal sweets from Splendor. Cant get enough of them. If Splendor didn’t know any better he’d think them addictive.

Trender

He loves reading dramatic romance, not the crappy teen stuff with low key toxic garbage relationships, but adult fiction.

This man shoves veggie trays in his mouth like no other. Specifically the ranch and carrots. Tomatoes are good too, but the celery is on thin fucking ice.

Tender

A fan of cook books, but home cooked meals instead of desserts like Splendor. Despises anyone who puts turducken in their book like its a real meal.

Seems the type to enjoy mushrooms. Foraging and drying and preparing. Most any kind will do, and he finds other purposes for the ones he cant eat or simply leaves them for nature to enjoy.

#slenderman #splendorman #offenderman #trenderman #tenderman

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hazzabeeforlou · 3 years

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heyyy toni <3 hope ure having an amazing day!!

with the things happening, i am very mad at h. he has done multiple things in the past that prove(?) he's a zionist. ofc celebrities are not required to comment on every single political event, but i think it is necessary for h to clarify this time. i really really don't feel good and i really despise him rn bc of it. i feel like it's impossible for me to like him anymore

Hi babe! First of all, you don’t have to feel obligated to like or support any celebrity. For any reason. Period. If they cross a line for you, that’s okay. You can unstan.

Second, the key word here is “has done things in the past.” I really hope he has learned about this issue and changed his stance, but we have no way of knowing as for whatever reason Harry doesn’t speak about much these days. Zionism is a tricky subject and a super complex issue, and upon first introduction many many people believe that they’re supporting the Jewish people via supporting Israel. Lots of propaganda and misinformation exists, and is propagated by MOSTLY evangelical white people here in the US, who use Israel as a chess piece for their “end times” propaganda/rapture/return of Jesus shit. I read an interesting article about Bernie Sanders and how he contrasts the new Jewish masculinity/Zionism and how that movement has co-opted white supremacy and strict patriarchal capitalism/colonialism to serve the interests of the global west. Anyway.

Honestly I believe that for most people, a social media post from Harry is a way for them to say “well I stan the perfect Harry Styles who has atoned for his past beliefs and now is a GOOD,” like it’s a turducken way of once again proving how great we personally are and how pure our hearts because we only stan “unproblematic” people. I despise how social media has made it seem like Harry Styles speaking out on the apartheid conditions of the Palestinian people is somehow anything more than a way for him (and by extension us) to avoid doing anything tangible to actually impact the situation.

There is no such thing as an unproblematic person, celebrity or not. Demanding celebrities make statements doesn’t change a fucking THING. Demand your congressional representative stops sending Israel BILLIONS in weapons and defenses every year. Demand that printing houses stop publishing propaganda magazines like “Israel My Glory” that cons evangelicals into believing Israel is in spiritual war for the future of Christianity. OR, demand your fave celebs give money to the multiple fundraisers that will directly help those on the ground who are fighting for their freedom, to keep their ancestral homes, to live without constant police state oppression and systemic murder. Because just by holding over 50 million in wealth and assents, Harry Styles, and Louis Tomlinson for that matter, are already not pure. Imagine all the causes and things that money could do. I don’t want them to post a link for us poor fans to donate, or for them to give som paltry amount that they’ll make back in tax write offs.

My point is, you are valid to unstan anyone for not aligning with your beliefs. Keep in mind though that shifting the focus to celebrity statements when human rights are being violated, seems to me a trite way of engaging with these very serious issues.

#anonymous #you take care of yourself nony but don’t look to celebs to be a moral compass because they’re not #and will always disappoint you #because humans do that #we Stan movements and ideals not #god like messiahs

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choisgirls · 7 years

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What do the RFA + minor trio think about pineapple on pizza? What kind of food do they like and dislike apart from what's stated in the game? I hope you guys are doing well!

A/N: I AM A FULLADVOCATE FOR PINEAPPLES ON PIZZA AND Y'ALL CAN FIGHT ME (don’t actually fightme i respect your opinions I promise, you do you) (And I’m doing well, thank you! I hope you are as well ^^) ~Admin 404

Okay y’all I hope I did my research alright?? I hope I got the right names to the right food?? *small screaming*

*YOOSUNG:

-Honestly I can see him enjoyingthe fruity flavour with his pizza

-He’s just that kind of dude youknow? Like he tries to be mellow and fails

-And what better way to prove you’remellow and cool than put some god damn fruit on your pizza??

American food

-If we’re going American food, Ithink he’d really like hot pockets

-I mean come on?? They’re fast??And hot?? And come in so many different ways? Not to mention they can be chEAP

-His favourites are the ham andcheese ones

-12/10 burns himself EVERYSINGLE TIME. BUT THEY’RE STILL COLD IN THE MIDDLE. He hates them but stillloves them so much

-But he hates most otherflavours though? He can handle the pizza one but everything else is just abunch of blasphemy

Korean Food

-Out of Korean foods I thinkhe’d like some Bindaetteok, or Mung Bean Pancake

-Sometimes he eats them withoutthe vinaigrette dipping sauce

-Just piles them into his mouth

-Hates any sort of sour candy

-His precious taste buds can’thandle sour

-Actually cries?? When there’ssour??

-His face scrunches up and helooks so childish but still sO CUTE

*ZEN:

-Fruit should be fruit and pizzashould be pizza

-Does not like the twointermingling together

-Actually appalled when someoneputs pineapple on their pizza

-O V E R D R A M A T I C

-Throws himself to the floor,curses the world, sheds a few tears

American Food

-Seriously. Anything fromChipotle

-His favourite thing to getwould be a burrito bowl, so it’s got rice, chicken, beans, cheese, and sourcream

-Which he’s like HELL YEAH IT’SHEALTHY I’M NOT CHEATING ON MY DIET

-But, SURPRISE, BITCH. THEPORTION SIZES ARE NOT HEALTHY. Try again later

-Does not like any form ofcheeseburger though from any place

-Always too greasy. He canliterally feel his stomach churn just looking at one

-God forbid any of that greaseruns down his arm. His pERFECT SKIN. NO!

Korean Food

-Dakkochi!

-They’re grilled chicken skewerscovered in red chili sauce

-“It’s chicken MC, it’salways healthy” not the amount you’re inhaling them they aren’t

-As body conscious as he is, hehates veggie crackers

-They’re just so artificial andreally salty

-Prefers the real vegetableinstead

*JAEHEE

-Logically fruit has no reasonto be on a pizza

-It’s a conflicting taste forher mouth and she doesn’t quite know where to place it

-All she knows is wow she doesnot like it

-Maybe it’s the crunch thatshouldn’t be there??

American Food

-TIRAMISU

-It’s freaking made up ofladyfingers, rum, and coffee. All in one custard dessert.

-Why in the hell would she notenjoy that???

-She hates nachos

-Hear me out, she’s tried themonce at your request and immediately despised them

-They’re so messy and the chipsget soggy

-And the cheese just tastes soartificial, it’s gross to her

Korean Food

-Her guilty pleasures are chapsalyakgwa (Korean sweet cakes)

-They’re cakes made from honey,sesame oil, and wheat flour and they taste like glAZED DONUTS

-AND WHAT DO DONUTS GO WELLWITH? COFFEE.

-She doesn’t really like MulNaengmyeon, which is noodles in ice soup

-It’s not that the flavour isn’tnice or anything, it’s that it’s so cold

-Dear god if she’s already alittle cold, after eating this it’s like she’s in Antarctica

*JUMIN:

-He’s had some expensive, topnotch pizza before

-So it has a different flavourto it, right?

-10/10 believe Jumin Han likespineapple on his pizza solely for the reason that he’s high class

-I bet he’s had fresh pineapplecut up in front of him and placed on his pizza

American Food

-RoOt BeEr FlOaTs

-Some of the best french vanillabean ice cream

-And some of the best root beersoda

-Fancy Ass Root Beer Floats™(Not to mention literally anything you can make into a float. Pineapple juiceand dole whip, amAZING)

-HATES HOT DOGS

- 626: It’sprobably because they make him feel submissive, isn’t it?

404:you fucking asSHOLE THAT’S NOT IT

-Hates the fact that it’s abunch of things just…. mashed together

-And the textURE IS WEIRD.Uncooked they’re just slimy and floppy and just e w

Korean Food

-He likes Dolsot Bibimbap!

-It’s a hotpot mixed rice, with sautéedvegetables and toasted seaweed flakes, and sesame seeds!

-Sometimes his saltiness isn’tenough to cover for his food, so he adds chili paste

-But he doesn’t like ColdBibimbap

-Something about it being colddidn’t make him happy

-Possibly because it didn’t feellike a warm loving meal which he subconsciously just wANTS

- why did i do that to myself

*SAEYOUNG:

-Isn’t it like lowkey meme-y tohave pineapple on your pizza nowadays??

-He’d definitely have it onthere

-Does he like it? Yeah itdoesn’t bother him, the crunch is nice

-Definitely not the same asputting Honey Buddah chips on there but hey it works

American Food

-LITERALLY ANY KIND OF MEXICANFOOD

-I can see him just coming homewith a large cardboard box completely stuffed with homemade tacos

-Always trying to make some forhimself at home and setting the damn tortillas on fire

-HATES SALTWATER TAFFY

-As good as the flavours are,all he can think about is how hARD THEY ARE TO CHEW

-Has flashbacks about the timehe got his teeth practically glued shut because he put too many in his mouth atonce

Korean Food

-When he actually eats“real food”, he likes to snack on Hotteok!

-They’re deep fried treats, onesavory and one sweet!

-He prefers the savory onebecause it’s salty, it’s filled with glass noodles and garlic pork

-The saltiness stays in tunewith his HBC so his “tongue wouldn’t get confused”

-HE HATES HONEY BUTTER CRUNCHYRICE BAR SNACKS

-“Saeyoung, they could bebetter for you than-” “MC DON’T YOU DARE EVEN SAY IT”

-Doesn’t care what flavour thepackage says, they are NOT. THE. SAME. And he HATES THEM

*V:

-I think the random crunch onhis pizza would throw him off

-If you like it he’ll completelyrespect you and probably force himself to eat it for your sake

-Otherwise I think he’drespectfully decline it

-If they’re separate, he canhandle it, just not together

American Food

-Oh my god he loves literallyany kind of pie

-Searches the world during histravels to find the best little bakery shops for pies

-His favourite is probably applepie because he loves the cinnamon flavour as well!

-WARM APPLE PIE CAN WARM UP THE HEARTMC

-I take it back, there is onepie he doesn’t like

-SWEET POTATO

-HATES IT SO MUCH. It’s just thethought that this…vegetable is now in a pie… that should be fruity…andit’s not….

-It’s just the THOUGHT OF IT MC.He refuses to even try it, that’s how much he hates the thought

Korean Food

-Yaki Mandu! Which is deep friend mandu

-It’s filled with pork, glassnoodles, and a variety of salty seasonings

-A nice change against his sweettooth for pies, definitely

-But dislikes Jjinmadu, which issteamed mandu dumplings

-They’re filled with things suchas pork, onions, and mung bean noodles

-But something about the textureof the noodle-like wrappers feels weird in his mouth

-Cut it open and take the thingsout then hell yeah he’s good to go

*SAERAN:

-Probably one of those jERKS WHOFIGHT YOU OVER LIKING PINEAPPLE ON PIZZA

-“FRUIT. DOESN’T. BELONG.THERE. MC.”

-LIKE STOP BEING LOGICAL AND EATTHE GOD DAMN PINEAPPLE CHUNK

- IT’S AMAZING OKAY

-Has literally walked out of thehouse when you told him you’ve ordered pineapple on the pizza

American Food

-Honestly, he really likes s'mores

-Something about the melting marshmallowmakes him and his taste buds happy

- that and being so close tothe fire, damn pyro

-He mixes it up and triesdifferent chocolate flavours, like caramel or cookies and cream

-But dear god, keep him awayfrom those “weirdos” on Thanksgiving with the Turducken

-“WHY CAN’T THEY JUST PICKONE. JUST ONE BIRD. WHY DO YOU NEED TO SHOVE TWO OTHER BIRDS INTO ONE?WHY?”

-It’s just so nasty to him. Andit’s waaaaay too much food

-He can be mean but thinks thepeople shoving two more birds into one is just w r o n g

Korean Food

-He really likes to snack onKancho Choco Biscuits

-Which are these small littlebiscuits(cookies) with milk chocolate inside

-Pours the whole box into hismouth some days because he cAN’T GET THEM IN THERE FAST ENOUGH

-Dislikes Tornado Potatoes

-Mainly because he thinks it’s awaste of time? People tend to like it because it “looks cool”according to him

-It’s a fried and seasoned potatocut into a spiral and spread on a stick

-“MC if I wanted friedpotatoes I’d go get some french fries, they’re easier to eat god dammit”

Masterlist

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