Background ; Jesse Pinkman is one of the main characters in the world of breaking bad. He is characterized as a “pathetic junkie”. This sort of “older brother whos fucked up and not at all an example but still gives heaps of advice” archetype.
At the beginning of the show, he barely escapes the law and loses his partner in the process. Walter while blackmails him into cooking Meth with him.
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Vince (the director of Brba) did an amazing job with symbolism using colours and imagery. He also did a great job at making those symbolism blurry enough to be interpreted by the fans. I, myself, am aware that I’m not the only person who will have that opinion about Jesse but I feel like it’s still worth sharing in my words. I hope you guys will appreciate my take on Jesse’s characterization.
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Part ; personification of trauma
You don’t need to watch the show to know what’s going on at anytime. Just look at jesses emotional state at any given episode, just look at the physical scars and bruises on his body. Every time Walter fucks up, it affects him. Every time there’s violence, it ends up taking a toll on Jesse’s psyche and on his body. I’ve always felt like Jesse isn’t much of a person but more of the human embodiment of all horrible things going on throughout the show, he’s a constant reminder that the show is fucked up, when stuff like blackmailing and murder starts becoming normalized, you have Jesse in the corner having a mental breakdown to basically say “yo, idc if this feels fun and normal, this is shit”. I’m not necessarily saying that Pinkman isn’t a real character, he’s definitely there and obviously a person in the show but I feel like wether Vince intended or not, Jesse is the personification of the trauma of the show. His kidnapping as well can be interpreted as Jesse feeling trapped by all the stuff he’s witnessed. He can’t talk about it, he can’t tell the police or else he’ll be jailed. He feels trapped in a box where no one will listen to him. Of course, Jesse was truly enslaved but it weirdly feels like a pretty spot on embodiment of what Jesse feels and is subjected to during the show. As much as he wants to tell people, as much as he wants to escape, Walter pulls him back, he can’t say anything; he can’t escape. The second Jesse starts pulling back, Walter does something unimaginable, Jesse looses someone. Just like when Todd shot Andrea. He can’t leave, he has no one now.
Lowkey mad this is like a slice of my life atm (I got like a million other things planned that I’ll probably never do but would still appreciate being able to allot the needed brainpower for ‘em), but at the same time…
I spend so much time in a bubble of the darkest, despressingest solitude that I don’t draw enough silly (everybody else seems to have the corner market on that) and neither do I do enough…oooooohhh leeeeeewwwwd shit. Also because, it’s everywhere else already. But it’s not…MY brand. My braaaand.
I can still just make and enjoy. My brand.
Somebody take my Switch from me. Don’t actually. Haven’t finished Tears of the Kingdom yet and I still gotta get back to Kirby. Whew shit~
My friend asked me yesterday if my perspective on life changes after my brother died and I said “yeah, I think so…” Then she asked how. So, I told her “you have to live for you without worrying about anyone else.”
But here’s my philosophy:
There has to be more to life than what you know or what you knew.
Go out and experience things. Meet people. Go to those concerts that you’ve been wanting to go to. Learn a new language. Learn a new skill. Quit your job and travel the world. Make TERRIBLE choices and grow from them. Don’t stay in something that’s not good for you just because it’s safe. You have to realize that everyone will have an opinion on everything regardless of whether you’re thriving or crying, so fuck ‘em. Find your own way to move on and be happy because no one else is gonna do it for you. If you like working 9-5 everyday, amazing, do that. If you like gardening, perfect, make it happen. If you feel like you don’t wanna work more than three times a week, go ahead! You can’t live for someone else, whether they’re here or not, so don’t try.
Tomorrow will be a hard day… we have 3 storage units from the time my family briefly became houseless in 2015. The place we found was too small, so a lot of our stuff is still there. The storage units are going up in price, so I’m going tomorrow to try and deal with the smallest, least full unit. This has a lot of my parents old stuff, like my dad’s custom made surfboard from the 70s-80s (important things that aren’t vital/necessary, etc) but most importantly… many of my mom’s things. There’s a yellow jewelry box in there that was her favorite and broke during the move… she didn’t want to throw it away and wanted to see if we could fix it, so it’s been sitting in there. But I have to deal with it, and it’s going to be really hard.
Good thoughts/vibes are appreciated. I’ll have some help going through the stuff, so I won’t be alone. But it’s still going to be difficult. Especially if I discover that yellow jewelry box is broken beyond repair and I have to throw it away….