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#I feel weirdly hollow
femboty2k · 1 year
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Oh
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the-everqueen · 3 months
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for the AMA: what compels you most in a fictional character!
rage as a trauma response.
it compels me when a character spits in the face of god. when the response isn't "why did you let all this happen" but "how dare you let this happen." something about the assertion of agency in the wake of un-meaning. something about "there was never a Purpose, the point is what you make of it." this is undoubtedly because i was raised evangelical and continue to struggle with what i believe vs what i want to be true. pero also i think i was denied anger for so long (and even now my reflex when i'm hurt is to divert/repress/hide/sublimate anger) that it's cathartic for SOMEONE to get to be mad at the powers that be.
misogyny means it's usually (white) male characters who get these narrative arcs. this is evident in my blorbos: astarion from bg3, the corinthian from sandman, will graham from hannibal. (my immediate first thought was actually emilio sandoz from the sparrow, very literal autistic brain serving me well here lmao, what does it mean to be god's whore.) but my favorite female and genderqueer characters have this, too. saga anderson from alan wake 2 (LITERALLY tells both the in-game narrative force and the meta "fuck off, i'm done with other people writing my story"). essun from the broken earth trilogy (everyone who says they can't connect to her...i need you to examine yourself for misogynoir). vic from nos4a2. eurydice from hadestown. erica slaughter from something is killing the children. jade from my heart is a chainsaw.
(horror is obviously a huge medium for this...the final girl is a figure of righteous anger, the avenging angel, the woman who mows down the ultimate horror with a baseball bat or a butcher knife and she's right, she's in the right, she's the monster slayer, fuck you fear me.)
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 months
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...
#im still procrastinating so bear with me#ive just been thinking abt something. like the idea of a support system#bc as a 1st year grad student ppl around me r like: it must be hard being away from ur support system or ive left my support system when i#moved halfway across the country. and like i dont really feel that way bc idk the idea of a support system is sorta odd to me#like for me i guess it would just b my parents who i kno love me but im just so weirdly asocial that i never really talk to them#like i hardly ever text them. we talk maybe every couple months. so like i guess i theoretically have support but its a bit abstract#and like i have friends i guess but again im a bit weird and dont really feel connected to ppl so i dont feel that close to anyone#surface level friendships i guess. i dunno. i just feel weird not not having a support system but also having it b hollow#i guess i cant feel it more now. like i feel like getting diagnosed as bip0lar made my problems seem more realized to my parents#like i dunno i just assumed they knew i was doing awful most of the time but maybe that wasn't the case#its such a weird thing to b diagnosed with. like the conotations feel a lot heavier and i feel like im not supposed to talk abt it to ppl#bc theyll think im unreliable or something. like it wouldnt b that big a deal if i was just depressed but the sometimes buring out of my#skin makes me somehow scarier. and i still feel conflicted bc i do have a bip0lar mood profile but i have very very high impulse control#and even when im going high my mind is still super rational about it. which seems weird bc low impulse control is common with#the diagnosis. its also y i dont fit an 4dhd profile. not that it really matters. i fit the criteria enough to be on the bip0lar spectrum#its not like someone's gonna come yell at me for not being bip0lar enough. i just feel odd about it is all#still feels fake i guess. hard to imagine feeling any different to how i feel now. which is weirdly stable. so i guess the meds r working#sigh... ok enough i need to go to sleep at 7pm so i can get up at like 2 to finish reading a paper. for some reason my god forsaken brain#works better in the early morning rip#unrelated
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timehascomeagain · 8 months
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I want my life to consist of more than alcohol and work. Is my problem personally
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old friend i never particularly felt connected to and havent seen in half a year asked me what ive been up to and it’s kinda weird to explain i had tried to be happy without concrete things? tried to just erase useless fodder shit to actually feel present in the nothingness/every day and i gen feel everyone needs to do it in their life, the earlier the better, maybe multiple times during their life. i had nothing concrete to tell him, because that was the point. ive been stable and happy for the first time in my life. funny how boring that is to tell to some people.
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zeena-athena · 4 months
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I knew moving out was going to have changes, and I'm not unhappy about (honestly) almost all of them, but one I am a bit sad about is the feeling I have being alone on Christmas eve when I'm so used to spending it with family or at bare minimum with someone else. It's just a weird feeling being home alone on Christmas eve, not having all the same traditions that I realized I had when I lived with my folks.
I did some of them, like chosing a new ornament for this year and filling up stockings, but I didn't pick out new pajamas for Christmas eve to open, and it feels weird. Like I didn't think it was a tradition for me, but apparently it is in my brain.
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hongjoshuaz · 11 months
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am not feeling well and i also want to cry very much
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eunuchve · 2 months
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tags: mdni, smut, dragon!morax, MONSTERFUCKING, rut/mating cycles, predator/prey, double dragon cocks, double penetration, CERVIX FUCKING, size kink, mentioning pregnancy, mating, bro has a worship kink, breeding kink hints (he's in a rut dont hold it against him) a.n: (what have i done) this is the first porn with plot I've written and I gotta say; it is damn long.... happy valentines my dears, enjoy! pairings: zhongli x afab!reader
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Lord Morax is a god; but he is more than that, he is an adeptus. illuminated beast. this fact needs no introduction, everyone knows. 
so when he took leave to a remote part of liyue somewhere, unknown to even his retainers, no one dared to bat an eye. the rain has fallen heavy, the season has become damp, and the scheduled time is near; Rex Lapis will have his rut.
it didn't take long for people to figure out the reasons for his absence; not when the lord became increasingly unfocused during stately meetings a week prior or when his eyes would turn to slits with a whiff of a woman's perfume for a month’s time.
You, the lone herb picker of a local pharmacy, didn't know any better when you stumbled upon a large hollowed-out cave that wasn't supposed to be there. you are familiar with the terrains, hell, you know it like the back of your hand -- so imagine your surprise when you find a nesting dragon inside, heaving, grunting alone; its horns glowing with a bright amber before its head snapped to your directly, eyes instantly turning to slits.
at first, you stumble backwards, watching as the figure slowly but surely towers over your frame; your neck cranes to meet its molten bronze eyes. it didn't take you long to realise whose privacy you had so ungraciously barged into; your mouth dries and you dropped your basket full of violetgrass, your heart beating out of your chest before your feet finally got some sense and took running to the woods. 
'fuck fuck fuck.'
you are going to die- you are so sure you are going to die. when your feet stumble and trip over branches and air, when you can hear him gliding through the sky; undoubtedly searching for you. The sounds of his scaled body burst through the leaves of the ginkgo trees, or of his deep, rough growls that echo through the forest. With every heavy step you take, you can feel him getting closer and closer. The thrill and fear mix inside of you, your body stirs with blood coursing through you. Weirdly amid the fear you feel-- somehow excitement came into the mix; something about your life being in the mercy of a chase?
Why is he there again? Rut? So will he fuck you or will he kill you? You certainly prefer one to the other. 
Your legs continue to run, even as you trip and fall, or when you stumble upon a rock or two; searching for an exit to a nearby village or open path; but no matter how far you run you can't seem to find the correct way. Your eyes scanned all directions before your body was suddenly pinned down under a sudden force and unmoving weight.
The paws of a creature so large that it covers your entire back, its talons digging into your back. The smell of freshly dug earth and exotic spices violates your nostrils and your heart can't help but thump against your chest just a little faster. You turned your neck, finding the dragon’s face mere inches from yours; his hot breath grazing the exposed skin of your neck. 
“Please don’t kill me.” god your voice sounds so desperate; with a hint of a broken whimper- even you are embarrassed by that fact. but your god didn't seem disturbed, instead he let out a low grunt, before hissing back a reply.
"don't beg."
"...huh?"
"don't." he spat the word, seeming holding something back. "beg."
"b-but--"
he didn't let you finish, picking you up by the scruff of your neck before throwing you to his back. he flew you back somewhere, you didn't care to notice since most of the flight back you are scrambling for something to hold on to; whether it is the golden spines or his actual body.
by the time you both arrive at the entrance of the familiar cave, he has waited for you to get off his back. you inclined, of course, shakily getting a feel of the ground below, catching your breath whilst adrenaline courses through you. once you get a feel yourself, your eyes travel to him, catching his large form walking slowly to the back of the cave.
"you won't kill me?" you find yourself asking; his head then slowly turns to you before, a visible look of confusion etched on it.
"Why would I?" his deep rough voice replies. he is definitely holding something back, the way his lips parted a bit to let steam out of his mouth, the sharp teeth that are visible from them make you gulp the pooling saliva in your mouth.
"Because... cave..."
weak reasoning, you'd have to admit, but if he won't kill you then you'd have to be sure of the other possibility. "then would you fuck me?"
the look on his face deepened before his head hung low, and a soft whisper came to you for a reply. "what makes you think of that?"
"It's your- Rex Lapis it's your time of..."
embarrassed, incredibly embarrassed; that's the feeling you felt, with the heat of blood rushing to your cheek and thumping heart against your chest only enforcing the fact.
"it is time for my rut, yes," he confirmed, his gaze thrown to the floor, avoiding your figure, "but I am not one with lost senses; sleep, it is night, it will be safer to leave in the morning."
you nod weakly, shuffling your way to the walls and plopping down on the dirt before curling up. the heat in your cheeks refuses to prevail as you watch him walk back, his long tail moves with each step he takes, the tuff at the end resembling that of golden clouds.
"My lord why are you moving so far away?" you asked, instantly biting your lip the moment that question escaped your mind, realising how desperate you sounded with that pretence.
"your arousal," he states matter of factly. "you. I can smell it."
you look at him wide-eyed, your face now comparable in its heat to the sun, your lips agape.
"it's safer for you this way," he continues.
"do you not want to?" archons you are greedy aren't you. "your rut- I can.. help..."
"I doubt it." his voice is precise, he says it like it's a fact, not even letting you have a space to express your desire. "they are the size of your thigh and their length..."
"I can try." bold- now you are being too bold. the size of your thigh he said? now you can feel your ears getting heated up from the shame. your thigh now pressed together as you imagine him inside of you; a second pass and your arms no longer placed nicely on your lap, instead instinctively protecting your chest.
his gaze looms over you, his snout now only a hairsbreadth away from your neck; a long deep breath he takes is audible before he groans out a reply.
"Do not test me human," something inside of him is threatening undone, you know it, "I will breed you till your womb is full and your consciousness lost-- if that is not what you desire then stay quiet and sleep; I shall bring you the village in the morning but until then speak not of this."
you gulp, now your lips parted before you crane your neck and place a shaky kiss on his scaled cheek, the heat of his body contrasting the cold of your flesh. "... that is what I desire--"
with that your clothes are torn apart; the valuable silk you spend months of your wage on is gone and your naked skin is exposed. the cold air hardened your nipples and he took notice, his head travelling down, his long forked tongue lapping sweetly onto them, earning your strangle out a moan.
"getting aroused from a chase," he breathes out, almost teasing you; hot breath contrasts that of the cooling saliva on your perked buds, sending vibrations down your spine. "thinking you can take a dragon's cocks, wanting to be the mother of my offsprings -- what bold actions you possessed."
you let out a whine, his tongue now travelling down, ever so subtly closing down to your cunt. you pressed your thighs together; embarrassed, already feeling your arousal seeping out of you before his claws forced them wide open, earning your moan.
"you are pooling my dear," he almost chuckled, his eyes narrowed as he licked his lips, his breath now grazing your quivering folds, unexpected whimper broken out of you.
"please?"
with that word you can feel the air snap hotter, his eyes now meeting yours; his form towering over you before he chuckle, training down kisses, his tongue now making sure you are covered in his scent.
"didn't I tell you not to beg?" his claws hold your thigh open and he took a lap of your cunt, almost smiling at your taste. "do you know why my dear?"
"n-no--"
your moans escape, feeling his tongue entering you, fucking you, stimulating your walls, not letting you escape. you arched your back, biting your lips as another whimper persisted. you feel his hand moving, now pressing his claws to your other hole, expecting you to open up; and you let him, your holes now stuffed full of him before you feel his tongue slip out of you, your whine tells him as much about what you want.
"Because if you beg..." he now moves his hands to your ankles, folding you in half and you watch helplessly, his two golden cocks decorated with geometric lines and veins on either side, one on top of the other- he does not lie, the size of those things are comparable to your thigh, its length will most likely penetrate your womb- "I will answer."
he chuckles subtly, aligning his cocks to both of your holes, its weight now pressing down on you, precum leaks out of them, lubricating you further.
"i am a god, my dear; I always answer."
with that he presses his cock head to your holes, hoping both of them will ease up. you moan his title out, causing him to snap his head to you, making him greedy.
Your little groan and hiss only help you muster up the strength to let loose, feeling your holes easing up before they let his cockheads in, making your chest heave.
he grunts against your neck; and you feel his teeth subtly tracing your shoulder, little nips that satiate his hunger, burying his head in its crook.
"Celestia." the way you feel around the tip of his cock is incomparable; the dragon finds himself clenching down his jaw, controlling his urges to slam you down to its hilt. "you are made for me my dear."
he grabs a hold of your hips, and you feel him sliding you down. you let out a low moan, your back still arched as you feel him inside of you more and more. the burn from the stretch doesn't scare you, even if you feel like you are being split in two- you only know the pleasure that waits for you not so out of reach.
not even halfway and you already feel him brushing against your cervix, your broken moan coupled with the way you rolled your hips almost makes him snap. his other cock too now deep inside of you- almost too deep; you feel the pressure against your throat, feeling his cocks twitch, almost making you jolt, your hand searching from his arm, nails now digging into his scales.
he looks at you, his parted lips letting out steam before his uneven breathing stops to let him speak. "I shall move now."
you look at him, biting your lips and nod firmly, affirming your readiness. you feel him trying to go out of you, your cunt and hole tightening around him, almost hungry before he slams into you, earning your cry of pleasure.
it persists; he goes out of you before he slips inside, messaging your walls before they tightened around him again, hungrily seeking him, your face now fucked out with pleasure, feeling him abuse your holes.
"I'm not even all the way in my dear." he almost smirks, you can see it. before you know it, you suddenly feel him picking you up, your walls being freed from his cocks, suddenly empty and you whine; letting him flip you to your stomach and holding your ass up in the air.
he marvels at the sight, seeing both of your holes gape yet clench down on nothing, it almost made him giddy.
"my beautiful follower," he mused, his claws now digging into your flesh before you feel his cocks lining up with your holes again; embarrassingly you can feel your cunt relaxing, ready to take him in once more. "will you be my mate now darling?"
"yes!" your desperation stays, you want him inside you so bad, "please Rex Lapis please!"
you didn't know what did, but you certainly awaken something in him. he brings you up in the air before slamming you down on his cocks, your walls now taking him fully, your stomach bulging out with his shape. your breath knocks out of you; you can feel him all the way in your womb, your hand can't help but trace the raised flesh, your spine almost shivering from the sensation.
"keep begging."
that sounds like an order; even your now fucked out brain knows that. so like the good follower you are you follow that order.
"Please make me your mate," you choke out, his slow rhythms that know your breath slowly but surely going faster, brushing up against all your pleasure spots, making you roll your eyes to the back of your head. "please please please please I wanna- I want--"
he chuckles, the way you mewl your pleas, the way your warm flesh tightens around him; he can even feel your walls hungrily sucking him in so nicely. in his mind he is thanking Celestia; because fuck, you are a masterpiece.
"a human could die from this," he grunts out, going in and out of you with an inhuman pace, your cunt and hole loosening with his movements. "not you my dear; you are made for me."
you whine from his statement, the bludge he created only drives you to the edge, feeling something inside of you tightening, your nails digging into his scaled flesh, your face supported by his nose. "R-rex Lapis i- my-- i'm--"
"you want to cum my dear?" he almost teases you with the question, his cock brushing, bullying your g spot, making you dig your nails further, your head could only nod desperately at his question. "hold it, you could only cum when I do."
you whine out with his order, and he lets out a subtle groaning with it, chuckling at your reaction. his hand moves down, large talons brushing against your hard clit, teasing the nub; knowing exactly what it will make you do.
you wrapped your arm around his neck, his golden mane brushing against your flesh so softly; and your tug your face on them, muffling out your long moan and desperate cries.
"fuck- please lord mo- morax- r-rex lapis please- i want- i wanna- please please please-"
he kept his word, his face moving and kissing your neck, feeling you move your pelvis to fit him better, your inside hungrily brushing against his shaft. his brow knits, he feels himself almost coming undone.
"now."
with a final thrust, he fills both of your holes with white ropes of cum, you yourself arching your back, feeling your orgasm hits you harder than ever before. he hear your pants before he coils around you, closing gaps between the two of your while still being inside of you, wrapped up by your own warmth.
"i shall make the wedding preparation after the season's over," he breath out; your mind finally able to join the sentence together before you move your head, repeating the most important word again.
"wedding..."
"of course my dear," he kisses you, his snout pressed against your jaw before he tugs his head onto your collar bone. his hand travels to your stomach, rubbing the visible buldge that only grows with his cum, almost making look pregnant.
"the little ones will be coming soon."
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foxstens · 2 years
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turns out radiant watcher knights have the most health in the entire game
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sleeplessdreamer14 · 1 year
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On My Mind
request: no
headcanons: the disaster twins lying awake at night because they can’t stop thinking of you.
characters: rise! donnie & leo (individually)
contains: crushes, pining, yearning, sleep deprived boys, donnie struggling with emotions
a/n: I really hope you guys like this one
Leonardo
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now we all know Leo had already had trouble sleeping at night
but after he met you and had been your friend for a good amount of time, thoughts and memories of you began to flood his mind
I mean, of course Leo liked you, but like-liking you, he did not see that one coming
he totally had that ‘uh oh’ moment the first time it happened
only hours subsequently to telling his brothers, and I quote, “I’m not gonna lie awake at night thinking about them.”
but alas, here he was; completely and utterly whipped for you
his thoughts often trailed back to the night be first met you
after the initial surprise, there was little else but genuine kindness behind your eyes as you talked to him as though he was a regular person
gosh he sure was interested in your eyes
the way they just brought all the features of your face together made you look like you had just stepped out of a painting
to him, you really were one of a kind, and he was grateful to have you as a friend
upon realizing he could sense his heartbeat without even touching his chest, Leo groaned under his breath and rubbed his hands over his eyes
these feelings were practically eating at him from the inside but he was in no rush to get rid of them any time soon
Donnie
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somehow, you were much more distracting to him when you weren’t there in his lab with him
just hours prior, you were lounging in Donnie’s lab, doing your thing while he did his, just enjoying each other’s company
by now, you had long since gone home and he had attempted to stay up to work on a couple works in progress
after the first hour of unsteady hands and lack of focus, he decided to try and sleep it off and hope he would do better in the morning
only now he was left alone with his thoughts, which were almost entirely occupied by you
deep down, Donnie knew why, he just refused to admit it to himself
his lab just felt a bit hollow when you weren’t there and he looked forward to your visits
you were kind and thoughtful, intelligent in ways he struggled to comprehend, and overall just nice to be around
the last text you sent him a couple hours ago was to wish him goodnight, and it sent a chill down his shell
looking back on the past several months since the first time he met you, his heartbeat increased as it sank in how his slightly-younger self had no idea that one evening would all lead up this
it was weirdly romantic in retrospect, giving him very mixed feelings
Donnie was a man of science, and the fact he couldn’t understand what he was feeling drove him mad
and yet, simultaneously, his bond with you just made sense in a way he lacked the vocabulary to describe
Donnie’s eyebrows creased as he nuzzled his face into the pillow, hugging it closer and dreading his inevitable visit with Dr Feelings
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oddheadd · 2 months
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Frostbite °• : ⁠。 - Chapter III
Skinwalker/Wendigo x reader
CW: Gross things like rotting :P
SMUT!! Rough sex, voyerism, non-consentual at the end(?)
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I couldn't sleep last night. The screaming kept me awake.
Screaming? It sounded animalistic, the broken voice desperately wheezing and calling for attention. I laid there helplessly, clutching my pillow and worrying about wether I locked my doors or not. I was too scared to check them, so I just kept staring at the curtains, my heart almost popping out of its place as I tried to look away from them.
I couldn't, and at about 5-6 am, when the screaming had stopped, I dozed off. I later woke up at 4 pm, and weirdly enough, I was inspired to write some more. I put my nightly terror into descriptive paragraphs and created a monster.
One with long, grey, skinny limbs and hair thin enough to see it's pure white eyes... Rotten teeth caging the slithering maggots in its hollow mouth.
I take a deep breath and close my laptop. I grab my phone and see that Nathan had texted me last night.
"Do you drink?"
I can't help but smile and instantly start typing.
"after whatever the hell happened last night, I do."
I put my phone away and make myself a quick meal. My phone buzzes.
"And what happned?"
I chuckle at his misspelling.
"I heard someone or something screaming. I couldn't sleep all night :("
He answers quickly;
"Jackals?"
And I answer just as fast.
"Kind of... It had an artificial echo to it? Don't know how to explain."
I purse my lips and put my phone down. Taking a bite out of the poor excuse of a meal.
"You could demonstrate, when I take you to a bar in the town."
Smile grows on my face as I reread his messages. I should go, what's the worst that can happen? So, we text each other the details and it's a date!
I leave the cabin and decide to look around the village this time. Ain't no way I'm going into the forest after last night.
I try my best to remember the way home as I walk past the other cabins. I admire the architecture - simple, but charming nonetheless. Then I spot a girl, no older than nine looking at me through the window. I smile and give her a wave.
She stays still and keeps staring at me. My hand falls back to my side, and so does my smile. I avoid her gaze and keep walking. I take a few pictures and maybe make a few angels in the snow, before I see an old woman, just barely walking. I approach her. - "Hello, want me to walk you home?"
I get a better look at her face. It's wrinkled, as if her skin is melting off her face. Her eyes are marble like, despite being as dark as coals. I can barely make out her lips that stretch into an uncanny line. Her hair as thin as the monster's that I made up.
She looks at me before her face scrunches up, even more, into a scowl. - "...What are you doing here?" - My mood falters.
"...I used to come here as a child... My mother passed and I decided to visit for a while." - I explain myself. She raises an eyebrow and grabs my arm for support.
"(Your mother)'s kid. You've... Changed, quite a bit."
I tilt my head. - "Do I know you?"
"You'd always steal from my brother's cherry trees. You used to be an annoying, little rascal."
I chuckle awkwardly. - "I get that a lot. So you live down the road?"
"You've become... A very appetizing person." - She says, avoiding my question. I try not to think about her weird wording.
"...Thank you?" - I say after a long pause.
"I used to be like you. Maybe my skin was healthier." - She scoffs, bits of her saliva falling out of her mouth. - "...Not fair... At all." - she sighs.
I stay quiet as she rambles, a little more comfortable now that we've approached her cabin.
"But whatever it wants, it gets." - She says. She tightens her grip. - "Count yourself lucky, being able to serve it like that."
After that I head straight to my cabin. I can't wait to drink with Nathan tonight.
Now as I stand in the snow, my ass literally freezing off, I start to feel disappointed. He promised he'd pick me up, but now I'm getting worried he got lost and mauled.
Tiny snowflakes start falling, adding onto the already layered snow that's coating the ground. I sigh and check my phone again. My frown intensifies, when I see there's no new messages.
I almost fall off the bench on the porch when I see a figure in the corner of my eye.
"Jesus, Nathan. Do you always have to scare me like that?" - I rest my palm on my chest, dramatically so.
He flashes me the Cheshire grin - "Sorry."
I get off the porch and shove my hands into my pocket, a wave of disappointment washing over me when the pockets are just as cold.
"I thought the huge deer got to you." - I tease.
He narrows his eyes. - "I'm at the top of the food chain, you don't have to worry about stuff like that." - He brags and gives me his hand. I take it with a snort, his hands as cold as mine. - "I don't think we can make it to the Bar, it's too far away. And, it's getting dark."
I pout. He chuckles. - "But I know how to make it up to you~" - He says and takes out a flask from his coat.
I raise an eyebrow. - "Charming."
I then walk back to the front door of the cabin and unlock it, going inside. - "Come on in, I'm freezing." - I complain and look at him.
He follows after me with a smile and looks around. - "It's pretty cozy in here."
I chuckle and sit him down onto the couch. - "I think we have some old wine in the attic. Try not to miss me too much."
"Don't worry, I'm patient." - he smiles softly.
I turn on the flashlight on my phone after a hard struggle against the attic door, coughing my lungs out when the dust flies around in the air. I climb up and start looking around the boxes for the wine.
I smile when I finally find it. There's two blood red bottles with no distinct label on them, so I pick them up. My smile falls as I see a... Doll? It's made out of straws, clearly resembling a human body. I pick it up and inspect further. Is this a hex? I put it back down and get up, chills running down my spine when I notice a big red symbol on the wall. I stare at it for a while before turning around and leaving with the bottles in my hands.
I have a guest right now, I'll deal with it later.
On my way, I grab go into the kitchen to get glasses.
"I only have mugs and teacups, no fancy glasses." - I say before grabbing the cups and sitting next to him. He throws his arm around my shoulder.
"I don't look like the fancy type though, do I?" - He chuckles and I shrug.
I pour us some wine and sip from my cup. - "So, why did you move here again?"
"Nature always called out to me." - He shrugs. - "And you, Y/N? What's your job and why did you come here?"
I purce my lips. - "Well, I'm a writer. I've written some stuff but nothing special, really. I wanted to write a horror book and came here to set the mood, ya know?"
"And how's that working out?" - He tilts his head.
I sigh. - "I'm having the worst writer's block I've ever had. Barely wrote a few pages."
"Let's see then." - He says, and I hesitantly agree. I grab my laptop and open the file, handing it to him.
I stand up and approach the fireplace, tending to it as he reads for a while.
"It's great." - He smiles and I look back at him.
"Is it?"
"A little complaint... You're trying too hard to explain all the details. Reading is all about letting people warp characters and places into whatever their mind makes up."
"...That makes a lot of sense, actually." - I sit back next to him. - "Can you help me?"
He eyes me and nods.
I don't know how much time passes, but we're now sitting on the floor and already have finished the second bottle of wine, now taking turns on taking a swing out of Nathan's flask. I've been taking notes, typing away furiously.
As I let out a deep breath, I look up from my laptop screen and the whole room starts spinning. I grunt and put the gadget away, placing my head in Nathan's lap. He chuckles and strokes my hair. - "Are you alright?"
"...A little tired. And dizzy." - I pout. Nathan just keeps smiling and sits me up again, making me look at him by taking my chin in-between his fingers.
I keep looking into his eyes and his smile never falters, only getting closer to my own lips. I instinctively close my eyes and part my lips a little, almost melting into Nathan's arms when they connect with his.
My heated cheeks heat up even more when he lays me down onto the soft, warm carpet and lets out a deep groan.
Then I can't even comprehend what happened, when I look to my side and see both mine and his clothes on the floor. Then I feel his erected cock, rubbing against me and realize I'm not wearing any underwear neither. I look back at him and pull him into a kiss again, moaning in delight. He then pushes it inside of me, spreading the walls to make more room for himself and and starts gently grinding it deeper out of me.
I lose track of time and what's happening again, and this time feel him mercilessly thrusting his hips against my ass, almost steaming air of heat spreading into the whole room while his rough fingers caress all the right spots. I let out moans and whimpers in-between my breaths, while he muffles his in my collarbone.
"Don't stop... Fuck, Nathan..." - I moan out his name and he looks up at me.
He then runs his fingers through my hair pulls my head back, giving me a view of the rest of the room, before he buries his face into my neck and leaves a trail of sloppy kisses.
I get closer to cumming, feeling myself spasm and squeeze around him, before I notice something in the windows. There are people outside my cabin... They're chanting something while drawing a symbol on the windows...
It's the same symbol as the one in my attic. I huff and try to stop Nathan but he can't even see my expression with his head buried into my neck. I shut my eyes and try my best not to cry... And soon enough, pass out.
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devourers-of-god · 2 months
Note
Hello again! As I understand it, applications are still open aha... I hope I haven't tormented you (sorry, I'm just wildly delighted with your work, and there are too many ideas in my head)
In general... it seems to me that it is quite difficult for Sally to open up to people, despite the fact that he is a very kind boy. It seems to me that he may be shocked by excessive tactility and emotionality
So, what about an overly active f!reader who likes to hold hands with friends, and hugs at a meeting, and kisses on the cheeks (sorry, this is literally me, and at the same time all my friends are not particularly tactile, aha ...). I was thinking that the reader might like Sal... how do you think he would react? And yes, it can be either fan fiction or headcannons, whatever you want aha. I will read everything with pleasure!!!
HI!! thank you SO much for the compliments, you are the sweetest! You are SO right about Sal D: ANS ALSO you do not torment me !!!! the requests are slow these days and im sooo happy you're taking the time to ask me stuff !I will do a one shot for this lololsorry this took a while to write, I had exams, school and work :P BUTTT I got my drivers licence LOLLL okep thanks for your request!!! and if you ever have more ideas, it will be my pleasure to try and portray your ideas with my writing!
SAL X OVERLY AFFECTIONATE READER
Warnings: None, fluff ? u guys are not dating lololol
Type: Oneshot
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Oneshot -
Everyone described you with few words; bubbly, a social butterfly and VERY affectionate. You were not shy to pour your heart out to someone when needed, but you also were the first one to help a friend in need.
You always thought that being this touchy and nice to people was just common manners, until you be friended Sal Fisher.
Sal Fisher was an interesting individual, his everyday life was affected by years of torment explained by his flashbacks. He wasted a lot of his youth because Sal was isolating himself, not talking to anyone, not even his father. Even though his ''beloved'' father wasn't trying to help him to begin with. Though, this caused the young boy to develop an awkwardness to someone's touch and Sally could not properly explain to someone how he felt, he couldn't quite put words on his true feelings. Being touched, brushed or even just the thought of all this, made Sal feel something he couldn't even express. Sal was hollow, basically a shell of a human.
You luckily moved to Nockfell, the infamous town that your family wanted to move in so bad. You and your family landed in the Addison's apartments, there you met the tall Larry Jonhson. It was easy to get along with this guy anyway, you found yourself very lucky that day because the metalhead introduced you to Sal Fisher. You two will eventually end up together, but you don't know that yet.
For you, it was love at first sight. You Immediately complimented the way Sal presented himself. Basically showering him with compliments, especially his mask and hair. It wasn't your fault that you're this friendly, its the usual y/n. Sal Fisher felt almost claustrophobic by your gestures, weirdly appreciated that. You were not aware but this boy is secretly craving compliments, being this lonely for this long had affected the poor boy.
As the weeks passed, you and the blue haired boy hung out often, which made you delighted. You two were eating lunch together while the others had an art project to complete. Mr. Fisher and you were discussing when suddenly Sal made you laugh, your reflexes got the best of you and pushed him gently. Sal smiled to himself as his face turned crimson. ''God you are so funny, you need to stop my cheeks are hurting!!'' You confessed as you chuckled lightly. ''Pretty sure my name is Sal ,y/n'' your crush responded. You punched his shoulder gently, just as a way of saying to shut it. You knew that Sal was not introduced properly to your love language, but luckily you asked his closest friends about all of this. They approved to you that the masked boy isn't disturbed by it. It motivated you to not hide your true self, since your upcoming boyfriend is fond of it.
In an instant, the bell rang. You got up quickly and held Sal's hand to make sure he's following. You didn't want to lose him in the crowded halls right? Or did you just want an excuse to hold his hand? Sal figured this out but never told you.
Arrived to his locker, you were so happy that day and your nature took over suddenly, you peeked a small kiss on the cheek of Sal's prosthetic. '' See ya Sal! Goodluck with your math test-'' You yelled out as you escaped. You were proud of yourself too, you really liked Sal and the only way to show it is with affection and physical touch. You could not believe you actually did that. The next class felt like it was the longest ever, the school system was seperating you from your future lover.
Meanwhile, Sal's train of thoughts was going faster than usual. He froze in place for a good 5 minutes with his face hotter than when he had the flu. He thought to himself that you might like him, but Sal reasoned himself after saying that you probably do that to everyone. He wasn't so special, he thought. Normally, affecting gestures are not welcome for Sal Fisher, but you stood out. He actually felt great in your embrace. Even though he's not quick enough to hug back sometimes, he melts every time.
''Man I know you like her, you don't even let us touch you dude.'' Larry said after Sal reported everything of today. Sal closed his locker door a bit louder than he should've.
''Fuck off Larry. She's just different I guess.'' Sal retorted, what's left of his face turned a tint of pink, ballet pink to be exact. Sal thought to himself that he was pleased that the school day finally ended, they could finally go home and play som- Sal's thoughts were cut off by you hugging Sal as a way of greeting. He felt his legs soften beneath him. Sal's heart skipped various beats. '' Hi Sal!! Oh hi Larry! What are you guys up to after school?'' You smiled wildly as you got closer to Sal, which made him shiver. Larry started to smirk in a more of an evil way ''Oh I'm actually busy tonight but I know that Sal wanted to hang out with you y/n'' Sal bumped into him ''accidentally''.
Your cheeks flushed as you looked away ''I would love to! My parents are picking me up today so- text me okay?'' You ended your sentence with a small wink directed to Sal. You quickly left to go in your guardian's car. Suddenly you didn't feel like walking like everyone else, you were so happy you skipped your way to the car. Sal's jaw was hanging since Larry opened his ''dumb mouth'' as Sal would say.
''Youre welcome my man!'' Larry chuckled.
'' Get lost.''
HELLO!! hope you liked it :) I don't know why, im less satisfied with this.. if there's anything you guys think I should add please feel free to share your thoughts with me!! Per usual, stay safe and MY REQUESTS ARE ALWAYS OPEN!!!! its currently almost 1 am lawd goodnight friends :) P-S: we're almost at 150 followers!!!!!! very exciting :DDDD thank you!!
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kissingghouls · 4 months
Note
SOFT PROMPTS ok ok...how about "you're shivering. here, take my jacket" with Mary x Reader ORRrrrr Secondo x Reader?? I can't decide
beloved anon. you were so right about this 💖✨
Winter Chill - Mary Goore x Reader
no warnings, relatively fluffy, kinda soft Mary, he/they Mary, first kiss, 2300 words
-x-
“He’s a dick,” a familiar voice states behind you. It’s followed by the tell-tale sound of spit hitting the pavement.
You’re not exactly surprised to find the silhouette of Mary Goore appearing like a ghostly apparition in the dim light of the porch. It was in their nature to just show up like that—especially when there was something to be said about your ex—but you were surprised by the lack of singsong taunting in their tone. Mary didn’t usually hold back when it came to voicing their distaste for him.
It’s obvious from their presence that they’d seen the confrontation inside—a fact that makes you feel slightly embarrassed as he shuffles around in the dark. The rotting wood of the aptly named Chaos House creaks under his boots, the thick soles landing with a thunk! thunk! thunk! as he stomps down a few steps and drops next to you. They shoot you a crooked, toothy smile and gently nudge you with an elbow.  “But you knew that already.”
“You’re a little late for an ‘I told you so,’ Goore,” you warn with a sigh. The breakup between you and that asshole was well beyond old news. There was next to no way Mary hadn’t heard and probably celebrated by now. Gossip travels fast in small towns, even faster in small social circles like yours.
“Aw c’mon,” he groans, arching his back to stretch his long legs like a cat. He pats down the pockets of his tight jeans and produces a pack of smokes and an old lighter. With a cigarette tucked between his teeth, he draws his knees back up before turning to you. “I’m not here for that.”
“Why are you here, Mary?” you ask softly.
Inside, the party swells with sound. A cluster of people all shouting to be heard while a metal band starts their set in the basement. It’s a mix of rumbling bass and the crack of drums with the occasional scream. The noise is just as normal as the hint of stale beer and body odor that permeates the old house. It’s as natural as the stains and cigarette burns on the weirdly orange tinted carpet that covers the stairs. Neither of you bat an eye as cymbals crash under your feet.
Mary flicks the lighter over their thigh, sparking it to life and drawing the flame toward their lips. They breathe deep, inhaling the toxic burn before leaning back on their elbows and letting out a puff of smoke. “To offer you a ride home.”
Your eyebrows knit together as you turn to the metalhead sprawled on the porch next to you. Pale, bony knees jut out from the holes in his jeans. The trademark leather jacket covered in bright patches and studs hangs loose around his skinny frame as he reclines against the steps. Underneath their battle jacket the faded, well-loved t-shirt older than either of you is barely held together by more than a few threads. A shock of dark hair styled haphazardly hangs over those pretty green eyes that hadn’t moved from your face since he sat down.
It was a well-known fact that Mary couldn’t be trusted to operate a vehicle. Every time they’d tried had ended in varying degrees of disaster—one of which included a cliff.
“You can’t drive,” you remind him through a laugh.
“No, but I got you to smile.” He sounds triumphant, proud almost. “You got a good one, you know?”
“What?”
“Your smile. It’s…I dunno.” He shrugs and waves his hand through the air. “It’s…nice.”
“Goore,” you level. “Are you drunk?”
They shake their head and take a long drag. The orange glow of the embers hits just right, illuminating the places on his face painted white. The shadows are darker, the blurry edges of makeup smeared into the hollow of his cheeks look more intense in the dark like this. It’s a look you’ve appreciated once or twice before at other house parties or in the dim light of the local dive bar while you pretend not to notice how they only charge you for every other drink they slide your way.
Your heart skips as he grins up at you, dried fake blood cracking on his face.
“I’m sober as a judge, sweetheart,” they tell you as they sit up, a well-practiced smirk playing on their lips.
There’s a tightness in your chest again, a feeling so familiar around Mary. While this thing between you started a long time ago, you never took it too seriously. After all, you couldn’t take Mary seriously half the time. So, the teasing and light flirting never really meant anything and that was how the two of you had operated for as long as you could remember. It never went further than that because neither of you ever seemed to be single at the same time.
But that didn’t mean you hadn’t found yourself a little curious from time to time.
The rumor mill spun both ways when it came to Mary Goore. Some days the story was they were some delinquent hellbent on burning the entire town to the ground. Other days there were tales of kindness that extended as far as feeding the feral street cats that lived in the alley behind their apartment. He was a loyal friend to the point of violence on more than one occasion, but everyone who dated them considered them a caring partner despite their apparent fear of commitment.
In your estimation, Mary was no different than anyone else—not all good or all bad, just another human trying to get by. When it came down to it, you’d rather have Mary in your corner than not. The fact that they were out here with you now, well, that just meant they already were.
“As a judge, huh?” you ask and lean forward to pluck the burning cigarette from his fingers. His eyes follow your movements as you set the filter between your lips and take an easy drag before offering the thing right back to him.
“Careful darlin’,” he warns, fingers brushing yours as he accepts. “These things are worse for you than I am.”
“I’ll take my chances.”
They raise an eyebrow, half-expecting you to follow up with a “just kidding” or a “not like that.” When you don’t their composure slips, and they struggle to hide a look of surprise mixed with a little bit of excitement. It’s fleeting, but it’s there, soft as the stubble poking through his makeup.
Those green eyes sparkle in the moonlight, watching as you stand and stretch your arms over your head. The wind picks up, carrying the undercurrent of much colder weather slowly moving in. It should be snowing by now, but the air is just a mist of wet fog soaking into everything without the beauty or smell of rain. The lawn is soft under your feet, little more than an oversaturated lump of clover and weeds that fails to connect the muddy patches from one end of the yard to the other. It’s all still as green as Mary’s eyes somehow, still thriving and you’re standing outside in a t-shirt next to Mary Goore in December.
The end of the cigarette whips past you and lands in a shower of orange sparks near the driveway. Mary leans up, the last little bit of smoke curling from their lips as the hole in the left knee of their jeans rips loudly.
“Aw, fuck,” Mary whines helplessly, leg now exposed halfway to the calf.
“C’mon,” you offer with a soft smile and hold your hand out to a guy who might or might not be trouble.
“Where are we going?” they ask, wiping their hands on their jeans as they stand.
“No idea,” you admit with a shrug. “Somewhere else.”
“Alright then,” Mary agrees with a grin and takes your hand.
You make it to the end of the block before you realize neither of you have let go. Their hand is warm and much larger than yours, their palm an odd mix of soft in places and calloused in others. For every step he takes, you take two to keep up though there’s no real destination in sight. Maybe you should have thought it through a little better, but being around Mary always made your brain a little fuzzy. And maybe that was why you’d avoided situations like this before—because the fear of something was too great. The risk of Mary was like jumping into a body of water completely blind. Dangerous. Unpredictable. Thrilling. Incredible.
The two of you walk east toward the river, passing patrons on the main drag crawling from one bar to another. A few toss looks your way, judgements whispered under their breath as they hurry by. If Mary notices, they hide it well. Their shoulders never seem to sag with the weight of what everyone else thinks you and him should be.
At the crosswalk you wait to pass and he rather impressively digs out another cigarette, lighting it one-handed. You’re unsure of how many cars pass under the stoplight or how many times the two of you miss your chance to cross, but you’re acutely aware of the way Mary looks wrapped in a haze of smoke and the city lights.
It’s not bad.
“Do I have something on my face?” they ask with an eyebrow raised, using the hand holding yours to pull you closer.
“Yeah, actually,” you respond playfully.
He frowns and pretends to swipe at his face. “Better?”
“Eh, your face is still there,” you tease with a shrug.
He tugs you even closer. “Don’t act like you don’t like my face, sweetheart.”
“It’s ok. I guess.”
“Just ok?”
It’s a question you barely hear. It’s not the rush of traffic or the random people walking past, but your heart hammering away in your ears that nearly deafens you. Warmth radiates off Mary like he’s the fucking sun. You know because he’s so close, close enough that you catch a hint of cologne under the nicotine and leather. And god those eyes, with them fixed on you like this you spot the soft flecks of gold they hide from everyone else.
You nod carefully. “It’s a good face. Ten out of ten. Would look again.”
He breaks first, averting his eyes as he struggles not to laugh. “I guess I better stick around so you can keep looking.”
“I appreciate the effort, Goore.”
“Anything for you, darlin’.”
You shake your head and let the moment fade as you pull them across the street.
Mary leads now, their other hand placed carefully at your hip as they guide you down the wet stairs. It’s dead quiet by the water. There’s never much of a crowd on the riverfront but this time of night it’s completely deserted. Traffic roars across the bridge overhead, a stream of bright red brake lights stretching across the river. You feel like you’re in another world entirely, tucked against Mary Goore of all people. You stand still, watching the gentle current roll over the rocky shore and pretend not to notice the way he moves closer and closer.
Winter arrives and surrounds the two of you within seconds as the wind picks up again. A blast of frigid, arctic air that smells like snow bites at the exposed skin of your arms. It’s cliche but as tears sting your eyes, you can’t help the chill that seeps into your bones.
“Huh. I think it’s gonna snow.”
Mary’s voice is uncharacteristically soft, barely more than a whisper. It’s a sharp contrast to all those times you’d seen them growl their way through songs about blood and corpses, but it makes the butterflies stir in your stomach all the same. Maybe there was something behind all those free drinks and flirty words. Something different.
The thought sends a shock through your body, the electric hum of realization. You like Mary.
He shifts slightly, turning his body toward yours. “Shit, you’re shivering. Here, take my jacket.”
Before you can say anything, they’ve shrugged out of the thing and wrapped you in soft, worn leather. You hide your hands in the sleeves, but they itch to reach out, to pull him in. The lining is still warm and it’s heavier than you expect, but none of it matters as Mary’s gaze falls to your lips.
But they don’t kiss you. At least, not in the way you thought they might.
“Goore?” you ask as they pull away slightly.
“Uh-huh?”
“Did…did you just…kiss my forehead?”
“Yep.”
“Instead of like…actually kissing me. You kissed my forehead?”
“Well, I don’t know what kind of person you think I am, but I’m not just gonna put out for you because you expect me to.”
“Oh my god,” you huff with an annoyed roll of your eyes. “You—hmph!”
Mary cuts off your complaints by grabbing the lapels of the jacket and smashing his lips against yours. Your arms loop around their neck, pulling them as close as you can. There’s a warm hand pressed to the small of your back, under the jacket and under your t-shirt. Mary’s other hand tangles in your hair as they break the kiss to speak.
“Sorry darlin’,” they whisper. “You’re just so fuckin’ cute when you’re annoyed. I can’t help it.”
“Shut the fuck up and kiss me, Goore.”
It’s rough and brash when his mouth claims yours, and you think Mary kisses like he plays guitar—aggressive with a practiced ease. He nips at your bottom lip, practically melting against you when you let out a little whine in response. His tongue brushes yours and he tastes of smoke and something sugary you can’t quite place. It doesn’t matter anyway because your senses are filled with all things Mary and you’re content to keep them that way.
“Mm, I always knew you’d be trouble, sweetheart,” they groan as you press your body against theirs.
“Aw Goore, do you have a crush on me?”
“Yeah, actually. For so fucking long,” he admits freely.
You grin and lean up to kiss him again as tiny snowflakes begin to collect in his hair.
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jupitercomet · 11 months
Text
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In Another Life
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summary - “And that’s… bad?”
You wipe your cheek, though it does little to help the way your eyes are watering again, and you’ve stopped looking at him again. “No. No, it’s not bad. It’s not bad, it’s— Bradley, I can’t give you a family.”
or
You and Bradley have a talk about kids.
warnings - age gap relationship (Bradley is 38, reader is 25), language, brief allusion to bad family life, brief mentions of drinking, talks of having kids, talks of not having kids, Bradley and reader deciding not to have kids
word count - 2.1k
this is not the best, but I finally finished something so I’m taking the win
i ain’t worried ‘bout it
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It wasn’t something he ever really talked about, but Bradley Bradshaw never imagined himself as a father. It isn’t that he hates kids or even the idea of them, but Bradley thinks that maybe he’d just been alone for so long that at some point the thought turned into less and less of reality. And, if Bradley is honest with himself, it makes more sense to him to keep children as just an idea.
Obviously he never said it out loud—not with friends and teammates who already had children—but Bradley feels like it would be selfish of him to have kids. He knows just how much it messes a kid up to lose their dad and especially the way he lost his. He already feels guilty enough knowing what exactly he puts you through every time he’s called for deployment, he couldn’t do that to a child too. 
So, somewhere along the line, Bradley had decided that he was never going to be a father. And weirdly, he feels the only person who understands him in that regard is Hangman who’d echoed something similar after a night at the Hard Deck.
“Fuck that,” he said when Bradley had asked him about it out of curiosity, throwing back a shot of whiskey without so much as a wince. “Told my old man he can go to hell knowing I’m gonna be the last sucker to have his last name.”
Truly it wasn’t the hardest goodbye for Bradley. He never really thought he’d ever be a father, so there wasn’t much to mourn. Bradley said his goodbyes to white picket fences and little league and moved on to live a life he felt genuinely happy in. All the while, ignoring that little inkling of dread that one day you’d ask him for something he can’t give you.
That day came sooner than he ever expected when Bradley came home one night to find you crying in the bathroom. 
“Hey, hey,” Bradley drops to his knees quickly, trying to coax your head out from where it’s buried into your knees. “What’s wrong, honey?”
You shake your head profusely, still refusing to look at him. Bradley's eyes are heavy with worry, but he doesn’t try to wrestle you out of your curled up position, instead lifting you into his lap as you turn to sob into his chest. He smooths your hair back with soft kisses to your hairline as he leans his back against the bathtub.
“What’s got you so sad, pretty girl?” Bradley tries again, rocking you gently as you try to match your breathing to his.
Swallowing thickly, you lift your head so Bradley can take in your red eyes and puffy nose. “Lucy’s pregnant.”
The words ring out hollow in the small bathroom, like there’s some deeper meaning Bradley doesn’t yet understand. He knows Lucy only somewhat. She’s one of the friends you made in vet school and occasionally the two of you had gone on double dates with her and her husband. Bradley could tell that her husband—Tim—had been surprised when you introduced Bradley as your boyfriend, but both him and Lucy were nice enough to make the date fairly enjoyable despite that. He wets his lips, hesitant to say something that might make it all worse.
“And that’s… bad?”
You wipe your cheek, though it does little to help the way your eyes are watering again, and you’ve stopped looking at him again. “No. No, it’s not bad. It’s not bad, it’s— Bradley, I can’t give you a family.”
Bradley furrows his brows, his rocking slowing. He never really expected you to give him a family and certainly not now. You’re only 25 and still in school. Even if he wanted those things, now definitely wasn’t the right time.
“And I’ve known that for a while. I guess… this just reminded me of it,” you sniffle slightly, so lost in your own thoughts you have yet to register that Bradley’s just as lost in his. “I don’t think I can be a mom. And it sucks because I— I love kids so much. But I don’t think I’ll ever be in a position where I can be there and be present 100% of the time and that’s not fair to them. And I understand if this changes things because you want kids, but—”
“I don’t want kids.” Bradley interrupts you softly, cupping your cheek so you finally look at him again.
“What?”
“You said you understand if this changes things, but it doesn’t change anything,” Bradley explains, stroking your cheek and wiping the tear stains on it. “I don’t want kids either.”
Your lips part as your eyes dart between Bradley’s, confusion all over your features. “But… No,” you shake your head suddenly. “No, I don’t mean right now. I mean, I can never give you a family, Bradley.”
“Would you stop saying that?” Bradley looks at you in disbelief. “Honey, you already gave me a family. I have you. And you’re the reason I have Phoenix and Bob and everyone else. You’re the reason I see Mav and Penny every Sunday for dinner. So don’t say that you didn’t give me a family. Because you did.” 
His words hang in the air, catching in the bathroom light, and Bradley watches your eyes soften, your shoulders relaxing a bit as you slump against his chest.
“I’m not going to change my mind,” you whisper. “If… If you decide you do want kids, I can never be that person.”
“I’m not going to change my mind either. I don’t need anything more than you,” Bradley promises.
You stare at him for a moment, on the floor of your bathroom, with your eyes still welling with tears. You wet your lips slowly. “I’d let you go if you did.”
“Well, I don’t,” Bradley smiles softly. “So keep me please.”
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Later, you and Bradley find yourself out on the porch swing, rocking slowly as the sun finishes setting. You can tell that Bradley wants to talk more about what happened in the bathroom, but he has yet to actually bring anything up to you. You don’t really know what to say, it’s been such a painful truth in your life that you never really wanted to talk about it with other people. But Bradley isn’t other people.
“I know I’m doing the right thing,” you land on finally and Bradley looks down to where you’re perched in his lap. “I know I’ll never be ready to be a mom, but… Everybody expects me to have kids. Everyone tells me that I’ll change my mind like this isn’t something I haven’t completely thought through. I just— I hate that I can’t be a mom and I hate that everybody tells me that I should and I hate that it feels like I’m going to spend the rest of my life wondering if I made the right choice.”
“Then let’s say goodbye, yeah?” Bradley offers quietly.
“What?”
“To the life we might have had.” He presses a soft kiss to your temple as he rocks the porch swing back and forth. “Let’s give it all the love it deserves and then say goodbye.”
You swallow with a meek nod. “Okay.”
“Alright. Here’s what I’m thinking,” Bradley starts. “We’d get the house and the dog—”
“We can still get a dog,” you sniffle.
Bradley turns to smile at you. “Yeah, I know you want a dog, pretty girl. After you finish school. Anyway,” he tickles your side, “We get the house and the dog. And then the kid. And it’s all exciting with baby showers and gender reveals. It’s your first pregnancy so you get real grouchy, yell at me all the time really—”
“No, I don’t!” You protest.
“Fine, you’re perfect and only yell at me when I deserve it. I get you french fries at 3:00 am and given what you shove in your mouth currently, you probably have some really gross craving that I have to put up with too.”
“Like pickles and whipped cream,” you suggest, a small smile growing on your face.
Bradley wrinkles his nose. “That sounds disgusting. How’d you even come up with that?”
“It doesn’t matter,” you wave off. “You’re getting to the good part.”
“Yes, right, anyway you have the baby and I freak out when you go into labor and you yell at me to drive faster because you are not giving birth to a baby in a Bronco. I probably pass out at least once.” Bradley lights up when you laugh. “But I’m super doting. Like, I hold your hand the whole time and wipe sweat off your forehead and all the nurses are so jealous of how you managed to pull such an awesome, sexy husband.”
“We’re married?”
Bradley lifts your left hand to kiss the knuckle of your ring finger. “Of course we’re married. I just left that part out because it’s gonna happen in this life too.”
Butterflies flutter in your stomach at his words, but you know you have all the time in the world with Bradley, so you let them pass. “Are you gonna try to name our baby something stupid?” You ask him.
“I think Bradley Jr.’s a perfect name, honey.” Bradley sticks his tongue out when you make a face.
“What if our baby’s a girl?”
Bradley thinks for a moment. “Bradlina.”
“Bradley!” Your giggle covers the sound of chirping crickets and the rickety creak of the porch swing, your eyes scrunched in laughter.
After a moment, your giggles quiet and Bradley continues. “So we have Bradley Jr. first—Bradlina will come later—and he’s the most perfect baby you’ve ever seen because of course he is, he’s our baby. And you know how most babies kind of look like aliens when they come out? Well, he doesn’t. He’s a very handsome baby.”
“And he has your eyes.” You relax your head against Bradley’s shoulder.
“Well, he has your nose.” At the mention of it, you wrinkle yours and Bradley continues. “It’ll be just the three of us for a while. I’ll teach him how to ride a bike and you’ll be there to pick him up every time he falls because he’ll be a momma’s boy obviously—all the Bradshaw boys are. Oh, you’ll also be the hottest soccer mom of all time.”
You furrow your brows. “You’re not gonna put him in baseball?”
“I’ll try. But, unfortunately, he’ll prefer soccer.” Bradley makes a face and you pat his bicep sympathetically. 
“It’s only because he’s really good at soccer,” you console. 
“You’re right,” Bradley agrees with a knowing grin. “And so you’ll be a sexy soccer mom and I’ll be his coach and we’ll watch Bradley Jr. kick ass every game.”
“That’s a rude way to talk about other 7 year olds, Bradley.”
“Not my fault our son’s so cool, all other 7 year olds pale in comparison.” Bradley shrugs.
You shake your head at him amusedly, relaxing on his chest again as a wave of quiet washes over you. You listen to the sound of Bradley breathing—a sound you can’t believe you ever managed to live without. The underside of Bradley’s jaw catches on the light from your patio and you watch as he stares ahead at the sky.
Bradley takes a breath and you catch his eyes watering in the moonlight. “I think we have three kids,” he says softly.
You clear your throat, just as soft. “Are they all as perfect as Bradley Jr.?”
“The most perfectest.” Bradley smiles gently. “Best kids ever made.”
“This is gonna sound silly, but I think I love them,” you whisper, keeping your eyes trained on the stars.
“I think I love them too.”
For a moment, there’s nothing but the sounds of nightfall, a rickety porch swing, and two sets of sniffles. You take a breath, hold it, and then let it go.
“Goodbye,” you say finally.
Bradley squeezes you tight, pressing a kiss to your hairline as you wipe the spilling tears from your cheeks. “Goodbye,” he says.
And it’s quiet, and you’re both crying, but finally you feel free of that blanket of guilt. That feeling like you’ve somehow failed people who never existed. All there is, is you and Bradley and the night sky above you and the wooden patio below you.
And that’s all you’ve ever needed.
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21wanderer · 4 months
Text
Final Goal
Body a day - #30: Pecs
The final entry in @max-the-many's challenge.
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“Paul? Why?” those were Lucas’s last words before he collapsed on the floor, his hand still pressed against his throat, his gaze becoming vacant. I chuckle, “you really haven’t figured out yet? I’m not Paul,” I pinch my cheek and pull, making my face distort grotesquely as Paul’s face detaches from my own underneath. I let go and Paul’s face snaps back in place, restoring my disguise. There’s a brief expression of soul-crushing horror on Lucas’s face, but then it disappears as the sparks in his eyes fade.
“Paul was a really nice disguise, as was your other friend, Stefan, but they were just the means to an end,” I say gloatingly to the unconscious hunk on the floor, kneeling to stay level with him, “you were always my final goal!”
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There’s no response, Lucas seems to be well on his way in the conversion, soon he’ll be ready to wear.
“All it took was a couple of bodysuits to get close to you, your friends will become part of my collection, but you – you are the crown jewel.”
I begin to undress, taking off Paul’s bike leathers, his undersuit and the rest of his motorcycle equipment.
I place my hands on Paul’s forehead and begin to push it backwards, causing his mouth to expand for my own head to poke through it. Feeling the air on my original face feels strange and weirdly unfamiliar, but I’m not staying like this for long, once I’m inside Lucas, I’ll never take him off again.
Slowly I squeeze out of Paul’s skin, struggling to get my body out of his. It isn’t exactly a graceful transition as I clumsily pull out of Lucas’s biker friend, then again nobody is going to know.
I let go of Paul’s skin, letting it collapse on the floor as I eye up my new possession: Lucas Wilson.
He’s ready. I lift up the hollowed-out skinsuit, that used to be Lucas. I was aroused and excited with making this my new permanent body, but I wanted to savour the moment. I strip Lucas, pulling off his clothes piece by piece, placing them in a neat little pile, smelling them as I remove them – it’s a musk, I can’t wait to make my own.
Stripped naked like myself, I admire Lucas’s beautiful and sculpted body, those gorgeous muscles, especially those pecs. And they are all mine!
I carry the Lucas-suit into his bedroom, technically it’s my bedroom now – almost. I place it on the bed, even when deflated and visibly hollow, this body still looks amazing.
I run my fingers gently across his impressive chest, his defined abs, (they aren’t exactly rock-hard, but they will be, once I’m inside,) his well-endowed… his thick thighs and calves. I also run my fingers down his massive arms, from his broad shoulders, to his toned biceps and triceps and big hands. Finally I run my fingers across his angelic, handsome face, distorted by the lack of a skull, but still beautiful. I’m insatiable and feel like I’m about to burst with excitement, I can’t delay this any further.
I grab Lucas and stretching his mouth wide open, I begin to slither in. It’s always such an indescribably arousing feeling to pull on a bodysuit. It’s warm, smooth and squishy inside, and I slid my feet in like I had done a few times before taking my time to get the toes in. I pull Lucas up around my legs, his muscular legs now back to life. I slip his ass over mine and I slip my own meat into his; and like pulling it on like a condom, it springs to life, perfectly reflecting how aroused I am.
I pull Lucas’s mouth further up my torso, making my flat and featureless stomach disappear, and be replace with Lucas’s sculpted abs. I keep pulling, so that I can get the pecs almost in place, then I plunge my hands into Lucas’s impressive arms. Stretching out Lucas’s mouth wide enough to pass my shoulders, I finally get the upper torso into place. Running Lucas’s finger across my wide shoulders, muscular arms and perfect pecs, I smile to myself, before I flex hard, the muscles respond flawlessly. They are ready to serve their new master. I look at my reflection, seeing my face one final time, I must admit, that this pristine body suits me, but I want it all. I then stretch Lucas’s mouth one final time to stretch it over my head, then I let go with a snap. It’s dark for a moment, but I soon open my eyes and see the room again through new eyes.
The second-to-last thing I have to do is to push Lucas’s facial features into place. Staring insatiably as my handsome features fall into place, the facial massage has done it’s trick, I pull a few faces, it’s perfect. “Looking good, Lucas, looking really good,” I say to the stud in the mirror with my new voice.
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I rub my new pecs, I’ve dreamt of rubbing hands my hands all over them since I first saw them on Lucas’s social media, and now they’re all mine! I twist the nipples, each placed on a big slab of muscle. My muscles!
Finally I inject myself with another syringe, I am making this process irreversible. I am Lucas, now and forever. I have never tried this injection before, but it feels like I’m bubbling inside, binding with my new skin, I can feel my senses sharpen and I feel ‘more real’ than ever.
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Looking at myself in the mirror, I laugh, a fiendish laughter expressing my sheer delight of my accomplishment. I rub my nether regions, not able to contain myself any longer and a chill rushes through me, down my spine as I climax satisfyingly. Not bothering to clean up the stains right now, and done with what would only be the first of many sessions of self-gratification, I walk out of the bedroom, where I left the Paul-bodysuit. I smirk to myself, then I grab Paul’s motorcycle leathers, the ones I arrived in, and begin pulling them on my naked body. I’m now bigger and stronger than Paul, so the suit is going to get tested to see if it can contain my new muscular frame. I had no reason to worry, the suit is a perfect fit. It looks even better on Lucas me, than on Paul. Lucas doesn’t have a lot of motorcycle gear, but I’ll make sure to change that, in the hallway I find Lucas’s own motorcycle boots and gloves, well, my motorcycle boots and gloves, both several sizes bigger than what I wore before, but now they fit perfectly on my feet and hands. Riding a motorcycle as Paul was incredible, but going as Lucas is going to be many times better, but it’s going to have to be a short ride for now, there’s so much else I have to do - to put this new body to the test. Pecs and everything!
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