#I hate that that whole shitshow still hurts me

[fanofstuff02]

Adam fell to his bed with a thud, as if he got shot. His whole body hurt, he wanted to knock himself out so badly. Angel did mention his body was an absolute shitshow in his first day too, but he didn’t expect it to be this bad. He could feel his eyes whimpering.

His mind was nothing better. He couldn’t help but have it fuzzy alI day. It was a goddamn confusing situation. And shocking.

One night, you’re out to get wild with two sinners and two winners, and when you wake up, you’re seeing those pearly gates. Enough to turn someone’s world upside down. It wasn’t in a bad way obviously, just drained his energy.

He groaned and turned to face the ceiling, placing both his hands on his stomach. He hoped he could drift off to sleep easily, he needed it.

As time passed by, his tiredness was defeated by a stronger feeling. That one feeling he tried to keep buried deep inside all day so it wouldn’t mess his “big achievement”

Loneliness.

He didn’t knew how long he’d been staring at it, but suddenly the plain white upper-wall was hurtful to look at. He teared his gaze biting his lip, subconsciously hugging himself with his wings.

He was happy, right? Of course he was. Why wouldn’t he be? This was his biggest goal for years. -And this was Heaven for fuck’s sake! You could have everything!

Everything…

Well why are you feeling hollow then asshole? Don’t act like you don’t know the real reason.

“Shut the fuck up.” His voice echoed in the suddenly emtpy room. “It’s nothing and you know it. Winners can visit Hell, remember that? Angel and Pentious just came from there. And Sera never had problems with them talking to Lucifer! It’ll be fine! I can see him. It’s no big deal. I just… Have to wait a little. Yeah. Yep. It’s probably because I’m new here.” He sat down in his bed.

But no words were enough to shut that shitty voice off. Seriously, why was he worrying about this that much? It was Lucifer! He’d find a way even if he wasn’t allowed. Which… Was sometimes trouble-bringing but still cute.

Cheap excuses, still lying to yourself, Adam. Why didn’t he told you about this happening then? He would if he knew you two would be able to keep in touch.

He shook his head and went for the light switch. He didn’t want an answer to that. No need.

He wanted to shut his conscious off so bad that he almost missed the small letter on his nightstand. It was red with golden accents, clearly a hellmade one. He took it in his hands and began eyeing it with a small curiosity. Then it hit him.

Hellmade.

He gripped it, almost ripping it off as he desperately wanted to reach the letter inside. Dammit this would be much easier if he still had his claws!

When he finally got rid of that goddamn paper, he quickly began reading. Finally some real explanation.

He smiled briefly when he recognized the handwriting.

To my dear Adam,

As I write this, Angel’s standing at my side. He knows this is a love letter but he’s still sneaking peeks. Honestly, I’m still wondering what Husk sees in him.

That said, he did gave me his word that he’d deliver this letter to you. He says he owes me, for the time I took care of that mothman for him.

You must be really, really confused right now. I’m sorry that I didn’t told you about this happening, I was afraid you’d hate me because I knew it for weeks now. Please forgive me. It was just… Hard to let go of the best thing in my life. But I’m not regretting it.

I can’t write much, heck it would cost me lots of pages if I tried to, but I want you to know I’m so glad you made it, little lamb. I bet you look awesome as an angel.

Love you,

Lucifer.

————

Yeaaaahhhh something from the middle of my recent work. Just gonna drop it here since it’s nowhere near done.

Is this good? I hope so.

#hazbin hotel #adamsapple #guitarduck #adam x lucifer #Its related to Sera btw #Sorry because it’s not long

[outofbinaryspace]

#I have many thots going on #I just I know I should get into therapy #bc I have a lot of trauma #and I don’t feel that I can talk to anyone about it #because I don’t want to upset them and/or add to stuff they’re already dealing with #but I can’t stand the idea of therapy #all I hear is fucking anabel’s voice saying you should get therapy and that you’re a good person while crying her eyes out #as if she was the one that just spent two hours being told she was toxic and everyone was uncomfortable around her #I hate that that whole shitshow still hurts me #I hate that whenever someone asks if there were any problems #I tense up expecting everyone to say I was a problem #I hate that I want to know how my ex is doing #if hes experiencing any regret #if he’s realized how fucked up that was #and I hate that I want to know because I still fucking care about them all #I want to know if Marshall is okay #I want to know if anabel figured out why she didn’t like me #the real reason #not just all the petty shit she listed that didn’t make any sense #I hate so much that I care about those stupid assholes #and I especially hate that I just want to talk to Matt #to know for sure he ended it just because anabel didn’t like me #it’s been several months #why am I not over it #why do I still think about this #and the worst part is I can’t even wish it didn’t happen #because if it didn’t happen I wouldn’t have met Nathan #and then I wouldn’t have met my current group of friends who are all so fucking nice #and communicate #and are so understanding

[grandlinedreams]

Ok I loved the whole reader is Kid’s/Killer’s sister. And I can just imagine her and Kid not getting along, and when the heart pirates and kid pirates run into each other, reader and Kid are like two cats fighting. Then Killer picks reader up under her arms like a kitten, and hands her to Law, all like, “this is yours”.

Could you make this happen please? 😭😭

I told myself I wouldn’t send anymore requests till they went down a bit more, but this scenario wouldn’t leave my head, and I wanted to see it come to life with your words. Asdfghjkl I’m sorry 😅

LMAO YES i loved writing it 🥺 but also don't apologize bb, I got you!!

[Heads up!: semi/non-canon compliant (idk either around Sabaody or in the 2 year ts), established relationship, sibling antics (Reader and Kid), cursing, silliness]

You love your brother, you swear that you do. You've stuck with him through thick and thin and at the end of the day, woe to anyone who tries to hurt him while you're around.

That being said, however, that doesn't necessarily mean that you like your brother or his general attitude towards anyone that isn't part of his crew.

Part of you gets it, truly ㅡ there's been plenty of skepticism and mockery when it comes to Kid and his goal in life. Finding the One Piece is a pretty lofty ambition, but you have no doubts your brother has the determination it takes. He's hostile because of it though, less keen on asking questions and more on the offensive ㅡ and his attitude towards Law's crew is no different.

Perhaps it's made worse, actually, for the fact that you're currently in a relationship with Law. Something your brother knows, and hates. Which is why you've found yourself, predictably, in another argument with him.

Anger boils in your veins as you raise your voice to match Kid's. "Stop treating me like I'm an idiot! I'm a grown adult!"

"Then act like it, damn it!" Your brother snaps back. "I don't have time to babysit you anyways!"

"Nobody asked you to, youㅡ" You yelp as hands hook under yours, your feet leaving the ground as you're lifted up. You know who it is, the only one besides Kid who'd dare to lift you like this in the first place. "Killer, put me down. Now."

The masked pirate ignores your demand, unbothered by the way you squirm in his hold before he sets you down in front of the Law and a handful of his crew, who've been watching this shitshow go down silently.

"This one is all yours," Killer tells Law, hand on your head and ignoring the way you swat at his touch, eyes narrowed and teeth gritted in annoyance. "For now."

"You can't just hand me off like I'm a package," you grumble, "are you that desperate to get rid of me? I didn't even do anything wrong!"

"Not getting rid of you," Killer cuts in, "just giving you some time away from Kid. I think you both need it."

Ever the voice of reason against his captain, Killer has a point ㅡ you could do with a couple weeks (or more) away from your brother and his crew, and who better to hand you off to?

You're sure Kid could think of better (or worse) people to leave you with, but all he does is scowl, silented by the firm steer of Killer back the way they'd come.

You watch your brother and his crew retreat, the scene not unfamiliar even as you sigh and pinch the bridge of your nose. "How mad do you think they'd be if I stayed with you permanently?"

You don't raise your voice and it's not quite an intentional needle to Kid, but he still comes to a halt and glares at you over his shoulder. "I heard that," he snaps, "don't even think about it!"

You adopt a face of innocence that lasts just long enough for your brother to turn back around, then glance at Law, who tilts his head. "The offer does stand," he says, even though there's a teasing gleam to his eyes that you grin at.

"I don't think I'll be truly leaving my crew anytime soon," you say as Law's own crew heads back towards the Polar Tang, and you wait until they've gone to snag your fingers in the front of Law's shirt, tugging playfully. "But I could be convinced to stay a little longer."

#ㅡmine. #one piece scenario #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #law x reader #–ml: law.

[clareguilty]

Ghost/f!reader - Possessiveness, Edging

Second kinktober prompt! If anyone is interested in commissioning another Ghost or MWII prompt pls let me know <3

Ghost/f!reader | Possessiveness, Edging, Uniform, Size Kink Rating: Explicit | No warnings Word Count: ~2000

You should have woken up at the sound of the door.

The fact that you don’t even stir until the padding of the too-small bunk is sinking under sizable new weight means that you’re in way worse shape than you originally thought.

Still, the only person who would be trying to squeeze into your bunk in the dead of night is pretty low on your list of threats to watch for.

“L’t’nant?” You mumble, scooching closer to the wall so he’ll have more room. Not that it would make a difference. The bed is barely big enough for you. Ghost would hang off the edge at every end even if he had the whole bunk to himself. “What’re ya doin’?”

“Heard they had to pull you out of a hole earlier,” he manages to settle in behind you — not comfortable, but at least close. “Came to see how my girl was doing.” His voice is low, more of a rumble than anything else. You can feel the rough material of his vest against your back, and you want to grumble at him for not even dressing down before coming to bother you, but it’s nice to feel his arm wrapping around your waist.

“Bad,” you groan. “Medical has me off the field for a few weeks at least.”

Ghost makes an inquisitive sound low in his throat. You aren’t sure what he’s asking, so you just ignore it, choosing instead to bask in the comfort of having him here with you. It’s dark and quiet in your room, and even being cramped on the smallest bunk the SAS could offer is nice compared to the shitshow you just crawled out of.

He shifts slightly, trying to keep from falling off the damn mattress, and his fucking gear pokes you in the side.

“Could you take that shit off?” You want to jab him with your elbow, but you can’t. You settle for kicking at his shin with your heel.

“Can’t,” he sounds apologetic. “I’m heading back out as soon as they get a bird ready.” He has nothing to be sorry for. This is the way it’s always been. The two of you catch each other for hours at a time — passing moments — in between missions.

“How long do we have?” Your voice sounds small and you hate it. Now is definitely not the time to be weak. 

“Hour? Maybe two?” He runs a gloved hand over your side. “You should sleep.” He starts to move, to pull away, and you can’t have that. You can’t even reach for him.

“Wait,” you kick him again before he can stand. “Stay. I’ve got plenty of time to catch up on sleep after you leave.”

Ghost doesn’t say anything, but you watch his silhouette step away from the bunk. Before you can even try and protest again, the fucker has flicked the lights on.

“What the fuck?!” You curse, shielding your eyes with your good arm as you jolt upright.

“What the hell happened to your arm?” Ghost is kneeling by the bed before you can blink, inspecting the sling on your arm and the concerning amount of tape and bandages beneath it.

“Just a strain,” you would shrug, but you can’t actually move your shoulder. “Some fucker wrenched it out of place, and then a beam fell on it when the building came down.”

He’s still got his mask on, but you can see the tension in his jaw. “Someone touched you?” He growls. His hands are hovering over the sling. Too scared to hurt you.

“Graves’ men.” You reach out with your good arm and lace your fingers between his. His gloves make his hands bigger than they already are, but you make it work. “They got some kind of code or something and turned on us. We couldn’t send a signal out. I was trying to fight my way out when someone had the brilliant idea to blow up the entire base.”

“Please tell me you killed the fucker.”

“With his own fucking gun,” you spit. Piece of shit.

“That’s my girl.” Ghost brushes a hand over your hair. He trained you to be able to take care of yourself. The touch is sweet, but then you realize how closely he’s watching you. The way his eyes flit across your body, calculating.

“I’m fine,” you promise. “Just the arm. Nothing else. It’s not even that bad.” You pull up your sleeve to show him.

That turns out to be a mistake.

There’s a dark purple palm print, bluish at the edges. It wraps around your arm in the exact place that the American soldier had grabbed you earlier. You didn’t even notice the bruise before. It was all the same throbbing pain.

Ghost is gentle, surprisingly so, as he lifts you off the cot with strong hands beneath your hips and lays you on your back, splayed across the bedroll. “Absolutely not,” he hisses. “No one gets to mark you but me.”

There is the screech of metal on concrete as he yanks the cot away from the wall, giving him more room.

He can’t get your shirt off without destroying all of the medics’ hard work, but he yanks your pants around your ankles and tugs them off before tossing them aside.

Honestly, you like this turn of events. There will be plenty of time to sleep after Ghost has shipped off to wherever he’s going. You’re going to be grounded and on bedrest for at least a few days, the least you could do is kick it off with a bang.

“Fuck yes,” you hiss, shifting your hips to get more comfortable on the bedroll. 

He runs his hands over your thighs, and you wish he would take his damn gloves off so you can feel the warmth of his skin against yours.

Instead, he takes his time. Seeking out the tension in your muscles and kneading in with his thumbs. It feels heavenly, but it’s not what you want right now.

“Ghost,” you warn, “hurry the fuck up.”

He responds by pinching your ass, and it’s so cheeky and childish that you can’t help but giggle. “Don’t rush me, Dove,” he orders. There’s so much command in his voice that you have no choice but to obey, and he knows it. He trained you, after all.

He does finally remove his gloves, and you all but melt at the heat of his hands. His thick fingers drag through the wetness between your legs, and you arch your back, hissing in pleasure when he drags his thumb over your clit.

Usually it’s so quick and rough between you, those heated collisions after a firefight or the rushed scuffles in the dark. This is more time and quiet than you’ve had with Ghost in weeks. He knows it too, because he refuses to give you exactly what you want.

“Please,” you gasp, reaching for his wrist with your good arm to try and direct his fingers where you want them.

He catches your hand, pinning it to the cot and leaning in to growl in your ear. “You’re going to be patient.”

You want to tell him that patience isn’t on the table when he has to ship out in less than two hours, and that he better make you come before then, but you know better than to talk back to your lieutenant.

He doesn’t even give you the chance to speak, because he chooses that moment to increase the pace of his fingers against your clit until you’re hurtling toward that peak. All you can do is gasp and moan as he brings you off.

Except the bastard doesn’t. He pulls away at the last possible second, pinning you in place with his hands on your hips so you can’t even move as the overwhelming pleasure disappears in an instant.

“Ghost!” You cry out. “Fuck! You piece of shit!”

The fucker just has the audacity to laugh. You want to punch him straight in his stupid mask, but your good arm is currently in a sling.

“Patience, Dove,” he warns you again.

By now, the aching pleasure has receded back to a humming need, and Ghost slips his fingers back between your legs. You nearly kick him when he presses two slick fingers inside you and curls them, the stretch and shock of pleasure overwhelming after his previous torture.

“Yes,” you breathe.

It’s slower this time. He doesn’t rush as he works you over. He drags his rough, thick fingers over that same spot again and again until you’re shaking and whimpering before increasing his pace and pressing his thumb against your clit.

You’re so close, and it’s so much stronger this time. Every muscle in your body is tensing, and you don’t even mind the pain from our injuries when every other sensation feels so good. You can’t even keep your eyes open.

And then it stops. Again.

You actually do kick him this time. At least you try to. He catches your foot before it can connect with his face.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” You demand.

He leans over you, cupping your jaw with his clean hand.

“We’re going to do this one more time. And you’re going to behave. If you can do that, I’ll let you come on my cock. Understood?”

You lay there panting, staring up into his mask and the burning intensity in his eyes.

“Yes, sir.”

“That’s my girl.”

This time, you don’t fight. He doesn’t waste your time like he did before, bringing you right to the edge and holding you there, fucking you on his fingers as you bite your lips and dig your fingers into the bedroll.

And when he pulls away just before you can tip over into an absolutely mindblowing orgasm, you hold yourself back from trying to wrestle him to the ground with his own knife.

He wrestles with the fasten of his trousers, freeing his cock before settling between your legs on the bunk. “You’ll stop me if it hurts?”

You dig your knee into his side. “Just fuck me already.” You don’t care if it fucking hurts. You just want to actually get off.

He’s still gentle as he lifts your hips and lines up his cock, sinking in to the hilt in one blinding motion.

At least he’s done dicking around at this point, because he actually fucks you like he means it. And he doesn’t knock your hand away when you reach between your bodies to rub your clit.

“You wanna come?” He asks, and you feel your blood burn white hot at the question. “Gonna come on my cock?”

“Yes, sir,” you answer automatically.

And then it crashes over you, all of that built up pleasure. Every single touch. You’re absolutely sure you’re going to need to go back to the medics because you definitely just fucked your shoulder back up again. But it’s so worth it when Ghost is making you feel this good. You almost regret trying to kick him. Almost.

“That’s right,” he says, thumb tracing over your spit-slick lips. “Who makes you feel this good?”

“You, sir,” you pant, chest heaving and heart thudding as you come down from the blinding rush of sensation.

“And can you give me one more?” He doesn’t even wait for you to answer before he’s fucking into you again harder than before. You know he’s going to make you come again.

You don’t stand a chance, already clenching around his cock as he forces another orgasm out of you.

It’s only when you’re limp and absolutely fucked out beneath him that he lets himself come. You want to be angry about the mess, but you’ll clean it later.

Ghost doesn’t bother trying to get your pants back on. Just half assedly wipes up the mess between your legs before climbing back onto the tiny cot and curling around you. You don’t even mind the roughness of his vest and the way all his gear jabs and pokes you.

“How much longer ‘til you leave?” You ask.

“Not long.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then: “I’ll wake you before I go- if you want to sleep.”

“I’ll sleep when you’re gone.” You grab his hand that’s draped over your waist. He hasn’t put his gloves back on yet, and you trace all of the scars and marks on the rough skin.

#ghost/reader #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #ghost x reader #kinktober 2023 #cod mwii #cod mw2 #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #ghost mwii #ghost mw2 #simon riley/reader

[whumpbby]

Tbh i really hate when ppl act as if Jiang Cheng was "rotten from the start" and never actually cared about Wei Wuxian as a brother. Like, in the latter's case we can see he cares very much but that care is very much mixed in with many negative feelings, it's like when you love someone but they hurt you but you still love them, you want things to go back to the way they were before but they can't and they won't. On the former it's pretty much canon that he was an ok if high strung young man and losing everyone he ever loved in very close proximity to each other is what made him be the way he is today, he's not evil (he'd be hotter if he was) he's just angry and bitter for very valid reasons

I think it takes an extreme case of Protagonist Bias to think that. And not even following the actual protagonist's thought process - just being biased on their account in some sort of a projection. Kids these days got to used to having their bad guys colour-coded.

People are so desperate to cast a villain to the Happy Couple they will grasp at any straw to justify their opinion. They will ignore every piece of text that explains in detail why things are happening and why he's acting the way he is - even to the point of ignoring the protagonist explaining what happened and how. They will literally ignore the protagonist they're wanting to stan just so that they can have their villain. Wei Wuxian needs to be massively nerfed and woobifed for the whole shitshow to start making sense. Literally, a man with no agency! Poor helpless victim! The poorest little baby, no one suffered as he did!:(

Meanwile, Jiang Cheng's biggest sin in the novel?

He's not nice.

That's it. He tried to protect Wei Wuxian from his mother. He did all he could to bring Wei Wuxian home after the war against his best interests. He walked away from Lan Zhan being a dick when he could have easily caused him problems. He only ever fought Wei Wuxian when it was either staged or he was attacked first (in the much brought up ancestral shrine scene that people don't seem to have actually read).

But he's not nice about it. He's not even stoicly stiff like the ever-amazing Lan Wangji (who only ever cared about one thing in his life, and it's the man he wanted to fuck roughly in the bushes-_-).

It was barely a decade from having his whole extended family horrifically murdered, so obviously he should be fine by this point. (We can ignore the main plot of the decade-in the making-revenge-plot, that's not important, that's not a theme at all!) At least he should learn to repress his trauma! Because that ended great for the protagonist, right?:)

You need an intense case of lack of comprehension to miss the fact that, until the very moment of the Core Reveal, every bit of information Jiang Cheng had available to him pointed directly to Wei Wuxian being at fault for the tragedy his life became. The only doubt cast upon that conclusion was the spark of love that he could not kill. JC trusted Wei Wuxian for as long as he could. He trusted him - against a myriad of signs that he maybe shouldn't have - until the man killed his brother in law.

That's where any sane person would stop and reconsider.

And yet he was still willing to be convinced otherwise - until his sister died in his arms.

Like, this is what it took for JC to snap.

If someone says that Jiang Cheng was "rotten from the start" that only tells me they have skipped the whole fourth of the book that tells us in detail why Jiang Cheng wasn't a bad kid and how much he loved his family and Wei Wuxian. It tells me that they are here only for the romance and can't see anything else, certainly not character development (why would they? Wanxian don't develop throughout the story in any impactful way except of "oh, hey, we can be together and not care about anyone else - just like we did it before, but now with fucking included!"). It's like people who don't read books cannot comprehend the fact the author thought about this shit and put it there on purpose. It's not something that just happened to fill the pages between the Romance bits for the word count. That's, like, the actual meat of the story? These people have the critical thought capacity of a fucking tiktoker-_-

The author is telling us: look at these kids that were raised in a broken family and how it affects them as teens and young adults. How it affected their relationships with the people they love and demolished their self-worth. Look how a broken family can leave it's children scarred for life!

The idiots online: one is an innocent angel that never did anything wrong and the other an evil, selfish and hateful brat, got'cha! I am very smart!

-__-

#i said what i said #mdzs #jiang cheng #wei wuxian #getting tired of people who can't comprehend plot more complicated than a 4-panel cartoon going 'you didn't read the novel!' #as if that means their shitty takes have any relationship with reality #there we go

[kingmagnificoofrosas]

It really hurts me how bad this poor man was treated and still is by Disney and some empathy and compassion lacking, not-thinking peewees.

My biggest rant post in cooperation with Magnificolover from Insta is still cooking. And let me tell you, it's gonna be spicy, blunt and long.

Mags might be the star of the show but this topic goes beyond him.

Furthermore, I keep hearing that more and more children are siding with Magnifico. Children!! My people!

Now, teens and adults hating and shitting on Mags because they cannot see past the rim of their plate of narrow-mindedness is one issue by itself, but you know something is seriously wrong when children tell you "But he isn't a villian at all!" But the the others around him! And yes, like him a bunch more than Asha.

I know that disney intented to create a nice story with another lovable heroine but instead we got a deeply traumatized, altruistic man, who, despite his great pain, built an untopia just for the reason so others would never have to suffer like he did. He constantly gave, cared more for others than himself, only wanted love and some respect in return. But got none of that! He didn't get love, he was constantly kicked and picked at his scars. He's not being taken serious, and only ever seen as a source for favors and a scapegoat. No one was ever there for him. He had no one! Not even a sidekick! No one ever saw and heard him, took him into their arms and let him breathe. This man struggled and drowned and people watched, worse even pushed him down further!

And worse of all, he was pushed to the point of mental breakdown, where he was so terrified and done that he got himself cursed and possessed by an evil force. And then the people who had gotten everything from him and still treated him like shit locked him up to suffer even more for eternity?

This is so so wrong! What the actual frick! My God! The whole movie is a horror show! Magnificolover and I have been fighting for Mags and against this toxic shitshow that disney pulled for over six months now and we won't stop!

If someone really takes the time to carefully read our analyses (which are explained down to the tiniest nitty gritty detail) and still sees Magnifico as a villain ( purely evil person/being) then there is something seriously wrong with them! Why are such people and disney acting like heartless monsters?

We don't want that! You think something like this is fun to watch? Seeing a broken man getting broken even further because people are greedy, ignorant and selfish is not fun! This is horrible! It's sickening to stomach if anything!

This doesn't celebrate everything good that disney has stood for those past 10 decates! It spits at it and in the faces of everyone who truly loved the content this company has given in the past.

You want a real villain? MAKE ONE! For goodness sake! But not, whatever the obnoxious toxcitity shit, that happened with Magnifico.

We hate it! I hate it!

If I could sing one song to Magnifico, it would be this from Lewis Capaldi :

In the moment you feel half complete

Know the moments are temporary

When the fear fuels the fire underneath

I'm gonna love the hell out of you

Take all the pain that you're going through

And I'll bring you heaven if that's what you need

'Cause you've always loved the hell out of me

You don't want him? Fine! I'll take him and not give him back ever again! If someone cannot see this man is a jackpot on two legs that's their problem not mine.

Magnifico is many things but most definitly not : a villain, a bad person and a sextoy.

#rant post #venting post #king magnifico #team magnifico #magnifico defenders #king magnifico isn't a villain

[justagalwhowrites]

Bestie! This last Yearling's chapter was so much! It was an emotional rollercoaster, starting with the tension between Bambi and the others when the idea of leaving Joel there sprouts from Gene. I'd have put Gatling on guard mode, too. And then… If having Bambi on Joel's bedside playing him songs and telling him what she tells him didn't have my heart bursting with love, pain, and so much angst, his conversation with Sarah sealed the deal and made me tear up. Good job! Holding Bambi will be his best medicine.

At least out of all this shitshow, Savvy and Bambie are talking again, and Savvy seems to have done some deep thinking and realized with what she heard the doctors say that there's more on her mother's side of the story in these past years. Their relationship is not perfect, but it feels like they are on the right path. Perhaps Ellie, despite her rage and fear of losing Joel, will listen to Bambi's words about Joel not wanting her to turn into a murderer.

I loved the chapter. It hurt to read, but it was really good, and hopefully, the upcoming chapters will have more sweetness and fluffiness in them. Thanks for the update! It was so worth the wait it took you to write it. And please don't feel bad for needing more time to write it. Writing should be for fun and not an obligation, and a full-time job and a life take time. Maybe I'm being a bit too harsh, but anyone who doesn't understand it and respects it shouldn't be around here. Lots of hugs, love!🫂♥️

OMG HI BESTIE!!!

Bambi was in FULL protector mode there, her priorities were Joel and Joel alone, everyone else could fuck right on off, thank you very much. I don't blame Gene for being like "this seems hopeless and I need to get people out of here" but I'd have done the same thing Bambi did in response. That's her man right there, she's gonna fight for him.

And yes, Savvy!! There's still some ground to cover. She's a teenager, after all, things are going to take time and she's still very hurt. I get why Bambi is so reluctant to tell her the whole truth but her dancing around it makes it harder. Her ending up with "bad people" could mean what happened to her, it could mean that she decided to run with raiders of her own free will and got hurt trying to steal shit from someone. Who knows? Not Savvy! It's a tough spot for both of them but they're getting there. And Ellie is Ellie. Thankfully, she values Bambi's opinion VERY highly and she's not going to want to go far from Joel as he recovers, too, which makes things a bit easier as far as keeping her around. At least for now. We'll just have to see what Ellie gets up to next!

There is some DEFINITE fluff coming up before we dive into what's going to be the final major arc of this story (which is coming up so fast omg!!)

Thank you so much, you are so kind. I should say, though, that no one is being mean about my update times except myself! Everyone here is so kind and lovely and yeah. I just get very frustrated with myself when I don't make the deadlines I set for myself and then there are other things with this fic that I'm very frustrated with myself about that makes the not posting when I want feel worse and yeah. It's all me! Y'all are wonderful ❤️ I know the internet can be a fraught place and that even in this fandom, people can say and do hurtful things but I've been incredibly lucky to have had just an overwhelmingly positive experience from everyone here. And that's part of why I hate it when I don't get things posted. I feel so bad about taking TWO WEEKS to update Yearling this time. I mean that's TWO WEEKS of y'all not knowing what was going to happen after Joel passed out from blood loss. That's nuts and I'm sorry for that! You're all so lovely and patient that I feel like you deserve better and I'm not doing that at the moment which is frustrating for me.

ANYWHO enough of my ranting lol thank you so so much for such a kind and thoughtful ask. I seriously light up every time I see your name in my alerts! Your asks are always such a joy.

Thank you so much! Love you!!!

#fanfic #joel miller x female reader #send asks #kit answers #yearling

[majaloveschris]

People who watch the movie even after seeing how he treated his own fans, you do realise by watching that you're supporting him and his racist ass and his racist girlfriend.

You are all showing us that they have no problem with racists and any outrage to him was performative and a tantrum

The ones who spent months highlighting Chris Evans’ association with these racist fat phobic idiots, and still willingly chose to watch this trash, your anger is just a performance

Don’t spend your time writing a thesis film review here if all you’ll do at the end of the day is support him and his association with literal trash bins. It means you don’t care about racism as long as it doesn’t directly hurt you.

I've expressed a million times that I don't agree with this whole PR shitshow, that I think he made a mistake, and that this will forever stick with me and us, but I guess people still can't understand it and can't apprehend that I'm not okay with this situation. 

You don't know anything about me or those who come here to my page, so you have no right to tell whose anger and disappointment is performance. 

I'm so sorry but I can't believe he is racist, fat-phobic, and antisemitic because he is around them. We all know it's not right; we all know it's not okay; we are all angry and disappointed, but I still think he isn't like Alba and Justin. 

I've always been more angry at Alba, Justin, and Kiko, who've actually shown us that they are indeed not really good people, and I've never denied my opinion about him and where I stand. 

I'm sorry for the rant, but I'm losing my patience. I hate that people are trying to twist my words and tell me how I actually feel about things. If you dislike me this much, you can block me. 

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #cevans-love

[ladyalienist]

The thing is I have to periodically remind myself that it doesn’t matter if they loved me or not, that it does not change the fact that they hurt me anyway.

It doesn’t matter when I think about my father. It doesn’t help. The father who told his four year old daughter stupid stories set on a rocketship where everyone ate only chocolate cake and who told his eighteen year old daughter that his favourite character in the book I lent him was his favourite because it reminded him of her… was the same father who consistently remarked failure and made relentless fun at said daughter’s interest, who threatened anti-drug tests at any perceived slight, who had little to no issue yelling and hitting. It doesn’t matter that he loved me the whole time, that he tried, with all his might, to be a good father. He hurt me. I bear scars that resemble his own and he still has a hard time recognising my humanity in spite of that.

It doesn’t matter when I think about my adolescence, about my social circle. I fucking survived having the fanfiquesque codependent homoerotic rivalry to friendship to what-the-fuck-is-this-shitshow, and a weird love-hate relationship, veering into fucking domestic violence while we never lived together, with the biggest bully I’ve ever encountered, AT THE SAME TIME. It was a horrifyingly entangled situation.

And it doesn’t matter that they both cared, in the only way they could. It doesn’t matter. She pulling me on the mattress for an early morning cuddle session and telling me she’d make me pancakes and choosing to spend her eighteenth birthday (of all birthdays!) with me didn’t prevent her from throwing me away when I became an inconvenience.

He getting terrified whenever he deemed me in danger, sharing books and cigarette packs with me, taking the blame for things we did together, didn’t stop him from being an insane pain in the ass. It didn’t stop the constant mocking, the constant remarking that I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, female enough (ah, how dared I being GNC in front of his religious upbringing!), that I was a monstrous being.

In retrospect he loved me with all his might, in the confused, painful way a sadistic nature nurtured with male socialization can love.

And it doesn’t matter. Because I wanted to kill myself, all the same. And he gets to have the same friends he had at the time, while I had to cut ties, one by one, and this loneliness will follow me wherever I go. I can create a new history, sure, but it’s not the same: sixteen years of my life belong to this monstrosity, and the damage it has done cannot be erased with a sponge hit. I can try to avoid the patterns, but they will follow me all the same, and creating new, healthy connections will always be a bit more of a challenge, something that doesn’t come natural to me.

But boy, do I think about those memories a lot in this period of my life. And it was a bit easier thinking that they never gave a fuck and it was all cruel mockery, pretending in order to get a good laughter behind my back. I have to live now with the awareness that him loudly complaining about me blathering about the importance of having a good environment to grow in was the only way he found to tell me I’d like to make you happy. I have to live with the knowledge that every time he saw me with younger children, with his own brothers, he got quieter because he imagined something he knew he couldn’t have – I think you’d be a good mother. Cannot imagine your husband, but your children, yes.

I have to live with the knowledge that she and I made everyone around us uncomfortable and she sheltered me from most of the mean comments. That I caused pain by going away. That she was used to me coming and going, and then I just wasn’t there anymore. I had different friends and a different life, and while I felt excluded from some of her achievements, she felt like she didn’t belong either.

And it doesn’t matter. I have to periodically remind myself. But the hurt is way different.

#ladyalienist has problems #I wasn't unlovable but loving me was socially unacceptable #That was it #And it just... puts my identity in a different perspective

[growling]

Top 10 favourite narcissist moments

parasocial hatred. we never talked and I'm not sure you know I exist but I fucking hate you and hope the worst happens to you

getting so pissed over actual talented people that get like 50+ notes minimum for every art and endless praise from their 100+ followers every damn day whining about how much their art sucks and nobody appreciates them or whatever. like shut the fuck up do you just not know how good you have it or are you just fishing for attention. nevermind i have already decided which one and i decided i want you boiled in a pot

not being able to have a normal one without a constant string of supply aka attention and praise from everyone. every time someone talks to me or compliments my epic art skillz or acknowledges me in any way I get such a high I feel like a literal god and feeling giddy nonstop for the whole day, then it fades i start to feel a bit too ignored these past 2 days and a half and i just feel so empty and terrible and my world is destroyed and i need to hurt something now- oh someone said im cool again nevermind i have been fixed the universe is beautiful my future is bright mentally healthy people want me carnally

having a really fucked relationship with the concept of "unconditional love" everything is conditional what are you talking about. and "love" in general, when i say i'm loveless, whether romantically or platonically, i mean it. that doesn't mean i cannot get attached to people or care about them in some other way, no i am not going to explain it in detail right now

there is zero point in talking to anyone else or getting into any relationships because none of these people could ever be on my level. their thinking is so shallow and stupid and they all behave so predictably and enjoy the most nonsensical of things and it's like everyone just gets something that i don't and they're inferior in every way but it feels like they are out for me specifically because I'm not like them and as soon as they find me out I will never be safe there. It's lonely and terrifying but yeah sure I'm the asshole apparently because I secretly feel superior or whatever. contrary to popular opinion being extremely self-centered is not a positive thing for the guy that has it

not caring about anything that doesn't concern me specifically in any way. it's all "support people with low empathy" until they can't ""make up"" for it with high sympathy or just trying harder or something. Everything bad that ever happens is here just for my entertainment or an annoyance. vents and crying and whatnot make me incredibly uncomfortable or annoyed and i mean i will try to listen (because i am a wonderful kind person) but i will have zero idea on how to respond because thorought the entirety of it i didn't really pay attention and just kinda thought "oh my god stfu i don't careeee when can i leave" while envisioning rain code amvs in my mind. unless you unlock my easter egg that is

only doing nice things for praise and making people love me or just to feel good for being such a great person, and getting incredibly dissapointed and sometimes really pissed whenever they're not grateful enough

wow society is a shitshow i don't respect literally any of you people. i should run away and live away from everybody forever but i need to acquire my riches and fame first which will not be hard whatsoever. the struggle never ends

just. lying all the time. and not being able to tell whether you actually like somebody or their attention.

not seeing other people as people (i know they are, it doesn't change that i still feel they aren't), having to slowly spend enough time talking with them and find out enough information on them in order to start seeing them as an actual person. if i don't know who you are then you just aren't that important in the great scheme of things. and if i do know you and get attached (and maybe you also happen to have traits that make you special and better than others almost like me which makes me like you even more) then I decide you're my person now. not in a weird or entitled way, it's just how many of us show protectiveness and whatnot thanks radiostaticsmile for putting that into words. I do feel a bit of an ownership over people I like, kinda like a cat or dog with their people. i'm really not escaping the kittycat allegations am i. god damn it.

#vent #VEEEEEEENT OBLIGATORY THIS IS A VEEEEEENT DISCLAIMER I DO NOT ACT ON LIKE NEARLY ANY OF THOSE THESE ARE MY *THOUGHTS* #mine #yomipost #gradually got into a better mood as i was writing this lmaoooo anyway you should consider being nice to me forever <333333 #actually npd #<- yeah why not put this in the tag maybe it'll resonate with the people lmao. how are yall

[softsky-daily]

1/24/2024

Who is she.... peeking out through the clouds.... a mystery....

Positive thing: My roommate friends made a good dinner like always, and I got through practicum.

Ugh. What a shitshow that was. At the last minute the clinic coordinator decided to make us include a student for co-therapy, so that meant having two counselors and one client. I can go over so many reasons why we all hated this idea but mostly it threw us off completely, and our clients were confused, and there were way too many people crowding the office, and it was completely unfair and not normal for everyone involved. I hate feeling like someone's guinea pig. Plus afterwards they had the gall to scold us for not being enthusiastic about it. They said "sound more confident with your clients and don't make it sound like it was last minute" but like, it was!! You didn't give us a heads-up and I thought our job was to be honest with our clients. Whatever. This program is a circus and I guess we're just monkeys to them. Also people kept walking into my sessions and I had to shoo them away so that was annoying.

The whole attitude of the higher-ups in the clinic feel so detached from what is actually helpful. I don't see how in any universe it'd be fine to be like "hey now you have someone else coming with you to your session, just deal with it okay :)". I will accept stress from my clients because that's who my focus is on. I will not tolerate stress from people who don't get that their actions just make our jobs harder for no reason.

Anyways. I hope they don't make us do it again next week or I'm pretty sure my whole group and I are gonna start a strike or something.

I was thinking about some childhood memories I had and I didn't realize how formative they were but I guess they stuck with me for a reason. One time my friend's dad was talking about when he was in medical school, and how everyone was extremely cutthroat and would betray other people for better opportunities and accolades and stuff all the time. He said he could understand why, but that he never agreed with that sort of mindset. He would help people, even if in the end many of them wouldn't do the same, and he said something like "I figured we were all going to make it through one way or another anyway. And medical school is already so difficult for so many reasons. I didn't see why we had to make it harder for each other." He attributed his success to the friend he made in medical school who stuck with him, and that was more important to him than trying to claw his way to the top. That always stuck out to me. To me he was a really cool and successful doctor, and I admired him a lot for his point of view too.

Another time with this same family I happened to go to the beach with them, and I was a pretty clumsy (or maybe reckless) kid so I accidentally knocked my head into the rear view mirror while getting out of the car. Honestly it didn't really hurt that much, I didn't cry or anything. But my friend's grandfather immediately got so worried and I remember him cradling me and patting my head and asking over and over if I was hurt. Both sets of my grandparents weren't that affectionate so I remember being really bewildered at the time. But afterwards I was caught up in this nice, fuzzy feeling that I still remember to this day. I learned later he was a Hiroshima survivor, and I don't think I had the full understanding of how big of a deal that was then. But looking back on it now I just feel a sort of profound gratitude that despite everything, he found his way through life to give a lonely little girl a hug that she'll always remember.

#skyposting #thoughtposting

[mischas]

one of the things that really stands out to me in mischa's recounting plus what we see from ben is that both then and now, she demonstrates greater emotional maturity and actually compassion. first in actually being the one to end the relationship - regardless of brandon being his own shitshow, it actually demonstrates a level of maturity to recognise you're not ready for a relationship with your 8 years senior co-star.

her account of it now really shows again a lot of maturity in calling out the ways it was damaging and hurtful, but not becoming petty and vindictive. even now, she actually had enough compassion/emotional understanding to recall there was something genuine there which translated onscreen (by no means advocating their relationship but life is complex with multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotional truths!) meanwhile, ben, the man who should have known better, doesn't seem to have moved past whatever grudge he held, to demonstrate any real empathy or introspection! and to think ben was always viewed as mr nice guy and she was the ungrateful diva - mischa deserves justice!

I know right, I keep going back to this quote from CHD:

"You just kind of know what you don't want, you don't know what you do want."

It's really powerful and such a good way of describing what it feels like to be young and not have all the right tools just yet. And she emphasizes again and again that so many of her firsts happened in this era. I think this relationship was quickly becoming her entire world and that was not only a lot but something she realized she didn't want. Mischa was the only actually emotionally mature one in this whole mess including producers which is downright insane. And to think they held it over her head not only in set treatment but in the writing! I knew they hated her bad but man alive....

And you're right. I think Mischa shows him grace to not lay every single thing wrong with the situation at his feet. It's complicated to revisit something like this 20 years later with all the various contexts that we know and some I'm sure we still don't. For her to say there was, at some point, genuine friendship and love underneath everything else at the end of the day says a lot. This relationship didn't exist in a vacuum and it's also not something that fully ended when it actually ended either. Your mention of "life is complex with multiple, sometimes conflicting, emotional truths!" is right on the money here. I actually think she was way nicer about him than she could've (and should've) been. But her saying it at all is really brave because literally no one involved thought she would, least of all the man himself. And it's such a great move on her part. I'm so proud.

Also yes, whack him for me. I've been over his self-righteousness for a while now, especially considering how the show let her take the fall for 20 years for basically every problem the set ever had.

#ask #anonymous #mb tea

[lowkeyclueless5137]

book 6 is gonna be a h o r r i d time in the reverse brother haunting au. jfc

For both the brother haunting au and the reverse, it's a horrible time for the Shrouds.

Ps: in both cases, their actual overBlot episode is during the 2 Halloween event, which makes the Ignihyde book be the 2nd book. We also get to explore the dorm a bit more too :v

For the normal brother haunting au:

Ortho would be so done and over. Like please end him then and there. He is classmates with VIL of all people! And Idia is just trying to diffuse the situation before his lil hooman brother has a seizure. Like please, he's brimming with anxiety, can y'all act like reasonable beings for like 5 mins???

Idia also being more confident, immediately is able to wipe everyone into their place. Like their parents are off to some more important business and all they have to do is watch over them for less than 24 hours, then everything can get to fucking normal and everyone would be happy and free.

But nothing can be simple when 1 sparkly French IKEA lamp looking ass guy busts in with Epel and Yuu.

Like in the king of Blots Au, Grim is the one that stirrs up the chaos, this time sensing a blot stone that was out of an experiment and transported around. In here, the whole situation drives poor Ortho to the point he cries his eyes out because 'WHY can't you just not act like entitled bastards for a bit?! I don't wanna do this yet you blame me for it?!'. This also touches a very low spot for Idia, who absolutely hates to see his lil brother crying. Cue threatening these mfs to cooperate and catch Grim before he decides to open the gates of the underworld and throw them in there to rot with the rest of the Phanthoms.

Bad part is that these bitches don't feel any kind of remorse for making Ortho cry. Like when the Shroud parents return(they immediately hurried back to STIX, so they came a few minutes after our guys left) and find this absolute mess, with their youngest still sniffling a bit, oh it's a whole shitshow. Mrs Shroud wants to decapitate those guys and Idia actually hypes her up. Mr Shroud is the reasonable guy who firstly calms down Ortho and makes sure that at least the boy is well and no one was severely hurt. The damage was out of both brothers's control, so neither get grounded. Instead we get a nice lil family time. :3

Now for the reverse brother haunting au:

Idia in here has a bit of more calm to him. Ortho tries to convince his brother that since in the end they will erase the memory of these guys, maybe they should try and attempt to bond a bit.

Well Grim goes hairwire and shit hits the fan. Unlike Ortho in the og au, Idia is filled with rage since really, these guys are testing his patience. Ortho, poor Ortho, gets so overwhelmed and worked out about it. Like they were supposed to have a sum nice time and now they are arguing while Grim is rampaging through STIX. Like please stop it.

And this is when Ortho cries, this time out of his robotic eyes real human tears pouring out. The others try to brush it off as being a malfunction of the robot, but Idia immediately fusses over his little brother, trying to make him stop crying. This, of course, brings in more rage to Idia, to the point his whole hair is red and BOI is he ready to tear a new one to these bitches. How dare they disregard his brother while in his home?! Like at school Idia would give it a pass, maybe get annoyed at worst, but here? Here he lives. This is basically his house. And even in his own home these guys don't give a damn about his wish to simply acknowledge Ortho as a person? Nah. He's not having it.

So he speaks his mind. He is doing his best to hold his crying brother, covering Ortho's ears while he yells at the rest for being reckless and pieces of shit in general. He went through the same procedures as them. He was in a similar position of subjects, but every procedure was told in advance and in detail, yet still, they are entitled enough to act like this?! To make Ortho cry and disregard the very serious situation at the moment?! Idia tells them that maybe his parents aren't around here, but he's in charge now and maybe he'll just go over a notch and lock up these guys until the whole things is settled. Ok? No more Mr nice guy, you either listen to him and help contain the rabid Grim or you get cuffed and locked until this whole ordeal is over.

To rub that salt into the wound, after this whole fiasco, Ortho is enrolled as an official student at NRC, which means he has the right to be considered someone. He has every fucking right to be respected and Idia would rub it in the faces of the STIX incident group.

#twisted wonderland #asks :3 #Brother haunting au

[many-but-one]

There is a conversation I had with a close friend the other day, and it’s been kind of resting in the back of my mind for a while. I’ve been trying to figure out a way to word the feelings that have been plaguing me. I don’t think I’m going to word this at all how I want to but I feel like getting it out is what needs to be done, as letting this sit is only making me feel more restless.

My name is Dorian. I am a host part. I am an everyday life part. I am naive. Incredibly so. My friends say it, my family says it, my own system says it. They say I trust too easily. I love too hard. “The world is a dangerous and terrifying place. Being the way you are will only bring pain.”

It has. It has many times. And yet I still love with my whole chest, everyone I come into contact with. Perhaps I am naive. Perhaps I am just letting myself get hurt. Perhaps I am a masochist.

It isn’t even a matter of me having poor attachment styles or whatever. I think my friend and I, in our conversation, said it really well:

“The entire world is full of opportunities to love and be loved.

That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? No matter how ugly and disgusting life becomes, there will always be opportunities for love. And love doesn’t have to be romance, even. It can be loving your friends, it can be loving a stranger on the street that complimented your hair, it can be loving the barista and giving her a big tip because she made the best goddam coffee you’ve had in years. Love doesn’t have to be in people, either. It can be in craft, it can be in food, it can be in experiences. This world and the things in it were built for love.”

And yet. There is a deep part of me, parts, I should say, that are so very angry at the way I look at the world. I know why. I know why. They feel rage, they feel cheated, they feel that there is no love here. There is only pain and anger and betrayal and hurt. People that we loved and trusted have hurt us so many times. So many times.

And of course you have to learn to draw the line, but what does that mean?

My friend essentially is in the same boat—they feel as if people look at them strangely for loving so deeply. They know it gets them hurt. Was I said was this:

“I’m willing to take the pain for the brief happiness I gained.”

Not only that, but if I don’t put out love in the world, then who will? All of my friends deserve to have people love them with their whole chest, their whole heart. People having a bad day at work, people struggling to make ends meet, the stranger at the supermarket—I feel like everyone deserves love. And perhaps it’s because I was denied it for so long—or more accurately, it was conditional—and that’s why I love so deeply, so easily, so freely. My love will never cost people anything. The people I love do not owe me anything for the love I am willing to provide.

Does that make me naive? My system hates me for it. They think I put us in danger. They think I willfully and happily let myself be used over and over. Is it wrong? Is it wrong to be okay with that if only to receive a brief sense of happiness and belonging?

I am probably not making any sense. I should try to rest. These last few days have been a shitshow.

-Dorian🌹

#dorian🌹 #personal post #vent #manybutone

[joetavis]

I'm so torn apart, because I loved (and I mean LOVED) Ted Lasso. I watched the first two seasons in two days, barely slept and was obsessed with it. I urged people to watch it, I literally talked about nothing else for weeks.

And then the third season came, and to say it with Roy's words: it's fine (and partly it was shit), but we didn't deserve just fine. We deserved better, the characters deserved better and especially Ted deserved better.

This absolute shitshow of season three paired with a mediocre conclusion to the characters just pisses me off. I don't fucking know what changed with the writers but almost every decision they made in season three was horrible and leaves me super bitter about the final episode that could have been way better.

I like the ending of the team as a sports team, I like Colin's ending, I like that they didn't make Ted and Rebecca end up together (because I like that sometimes people are just friends), u like the Roy and Jamie storyline (even the immature fight I didn't mind), but the even the season told these stories badly.

And I hated so much about the season. I hated that downright immoral THERAPIST/CLIENT relationship. What was that? You would loose your fucking licence for that, how could neither Ted, nor anyone else say something about that, Michelle's new partner should have been anyone else, really. I hated Jack, she was a complete unimportant character, she added nothing except making Keeley's (already wonky) storyline worse. It was a bad relationship. I don't like that they broke up Roy and Keeley for no reason. They should have stayed together. Especially if the Witter's don't even have the guts to show the break up on screen.

Keeley's whole story was horrible. She was a bad CEO (or whatever her position was) the story should have ended with her actually losing her PR-firm. (Because the end with Barbara was a good and heartfelt moment) and maybe let her figure out something better suited for her.

I liked Zava, but I would have preferred if him leaving the team was more of an on-screen moment.

Nate's whole story line is fucked. He shouldn't be with Jade, I don't really understand why she would like him. His dad 'apology' was clearly a lie and did not fit with what we've seen from Nate's Dad before (like I know I told you that you're worthless, but I only wanted you to be happy, what?). Nate was the villain (!) In season two, just like Rebecca in 3, but where she had to apologize to the people she hurt, Nate just came back, and we, the audience, never sees how and why this decision was made.

I was ready to forgive him, I really was, but he doesn't apologize to Colin, only to Ted. And that doesn't sit right with me. Nate's problem was, that he had so little self-worth, that he seeked it through abusing power. He should have apologizes to his Team at West Ham, to Ted, but he should have grown and start to love himself, instead we don't see any of that on screen.

In general I was so disappointed that all big moment were cut from our view and happened 'off-screen'. Like this is a TV-series, this is your purpose. Why would you stop showing us the moments that matter to the story you're telling.

(I know that this CAN be a stylistic device, but if ALL moments happen off screen, it's just lazy and leaves us nothing to watch.)

And lastly: The Lasso Way. That should have been the title of the book, and everyone knows it, especially Trent. And while it is on character for Ted to insist otherwise, The Richmond Way is a shit title, because the Team has always existed, and it was Ted that moved them, that changed them. That's why the series is called Ted Lasso and not AFC Richmond.

It is his story, and like many things season three got wrong, season three forgets about that.

Where were the coaching moments? Where was the inspiration, the kindness, the believe?

A private investigator? Really? Ted Lasso would never? And I still love him, and he had his moments, but there were just overall too little.

The big farewell was too little, too late. Ted Lasso deserved the world, he deserves personal, meaningful goodbye with each of the characters, even with the unimportant side characters, because to Ted, there are no unimportant people. I should have wept, I should be devastated, because yes, of course he has to leave, this is about his son, the most important thing in the world, but the team loves Ted too much for one goodbye dance. We, the audience, love Ted Lasso too much to get this bleak ending.

I loved Ted Lasso. Season one and two changed me as a person, they rewired my brain and I swear, I breathed and bled its essence. Until season three. Season three is so horrible, that I lost all love for the series, and I don't think I can revisit it ever, because I know that season three will come, with only three fine episodes.

#ted lasso #the lasso way

[evita-shelby]

Incantatrice

Chapter 5

Gif by @ferrisbuellers

CW:mentions of past alcohol abuse, recovering from alcoholism.

“I thought you said you’d quit drinking.” Her uncle said with a disapproving look as Eva emptied a small bottle of cheap tequila sprawled dramatically on the little sitting room attached to her bedroom.

She can drink socially, but even then, it’s like playing Russian roulette.

This time, she hadn’t stopped until the ugly cheap drink that used belong to the chauffer was as empty as… well, her.

“We’re having dinner with my fiancé; I think I’m allowed a drink.” She said feeling a little buzzed from having drunk something she was no longer used to.

“You should’ve worn the blue dress your Aunt Alejandra suggested, black isn’t a color a future bride should wear.” He says as if Eva was still the little girl who he’d braid the ribbons his daughter, Alejandra, hated.

He had four daughters and only one son. Patricia, Maria Jose, Alejandra and Magdalena. Well, three, Alejandra refused to be his third daughter and went by Alejandro even when they were children. Even now, Ale refused to act like a girl and was given Abuelita’s blessing to fake her death and come back as Alejandro, dead Tio Benjamin’s bastard son.

Pato used to be her favorite uncle once upon a time, but then he’d become unreasonable. Especially when he knew the agony she was going through and expected to shut the door to the past and be the woman he thinks she should be.

Even now they can hardly stand being in each other’s presence without her wanting to scream at him for putting the company first.

And that was probably what made him the head of the family, that he can run the ship and carry the burden on his shoulders without buckling underneath it all.

“It was going to clash with his bowtie. Besides, he should get used to me wearing black, it’s my favorite color.” She says as if it had been obvious. It had been to her, but Eva tends to forget the world doesn’t function like it does for her.

Eva wears black, not really for mourning, but because she genuinely likes the color.

Black dress with a diamond dress cinch clip to emphasize her somewhat hourglass figure, worth more than what her future husband currently makes, and Eva is really hoping there is no Italian superstition regarding the color.

Although she was enjoying that grab Luca’s crotch to ward off bad luck thing, enjoying it enough to pay a hearse to pass by when he took her for a drive this morning.

“Of all the men suggested, why’d you choose him?” he asks the question on everyone’s minds since she told them that was the man she wanted.

“Something just clicked when I saw him at the Opera with Riccardo Spinetta, like ‘oh, there you are’ and it just felt like a sign.” Eva shouldn’t believe in soulmates, at least not after the whole shitshow with Antonia last year, but she does. And because she knows Patricio thinks she’s just being naïve she throws a low punch, easier to hurt him when he is being Tio Pato and not Don Patricio. “It really feels like maybe this time things will work out for me.”

As far as he knows her only boyfriend died a few months after Gabriel in 1915. He had been here in Fifth Avenue ever since Huerta exiled him in 1914, so he is almost entirely unaware about the whole Eva and Antonia being in a relationship while Antonia and Francisco had been on a secret relationship.

“I just want what’s best for you, but if you think you can handle a man like him, then I will support your decision.” Ah, so a ‘if he steps out of line I won’t hesitate to make you a widow even if you don’t agree with killing him’ sign of approval.

“Did you have to invite Antonia?” she asks even if its fucking impossible not to invite his own heir to a family gathering.

“Whatever disagreement you had with your best friend must be left in the past, our family can’t be seen as divided and I can’t ban my son’s wife from the house because the two of you fought.” And now Don Patricio was back.

----

“He’s got an interesting nose.” Izzy wiggled his eyebrows. “I wonder if what they say about narizones is true.”

“What do they say about narizones, Nacho?” nine-year old Maddy, or little Madgalena Riley, asks as her older cousins try to come up with a good enough lie.

“You know I forgot, kind of like how you forget your name is Magdalena whenever we take you to the park.” Israel deflected and completely changed the topic.

Little Magda would grow up American, and Americans didn’t have long traditional names like Magdalena.

“They can’t say my name here. They said it sounds funny, so I just let them call me Maddy.” Maddy doesn’t seem bothered by it…yet.

She will when she’s older and learns that even small children are capable of being racist.

“Does that mean that you are lying about forgetting what having a big nose means?” Maddy asked Israel Ignacio ‘Nacho’ de Souza who is now anxiously looking at Eva for a rescue.

Would it be too mean to let him squirm just a little longer?

“That, um, they are really smart and poweful, like your papi, kid.” Izzy pats himself on the back with that clever save. “Just don’t bring it up during dinner, might scare Evita’s boyfriend and then the wedding will be cancelled.”

“Te lo prometo.” The Little girl said and pretended to zip her mouth shut.

Eva doesn’t know if it’s the cheap mezcal or her own anxiety making her feel nauseous.

Nothing ends well when a prospective suitor meets her family.

Diosdado turned out to have had his way with half of the maids in Altamira ---an impressive feat given he was from Cuidad Juarez, Chihuahua, and Altamira was a thousand six hundred miles away hidden in the border between Veracruz and Tamaulipas.

Antonia met Franco at a formal dinner thrown for him when he graduated from the Complutense University of Madrid in 1917 and instantly felt drawn to him.

Luca better be the exception.

----

“If this is how you look every evening, I am never missing dinner.” Luca greeted her with a peck on the lips, that is the most he can do in the presence of her family.

“I bet you won’t be saying that after tonight.” And there she goes and ruins this moment.

“Donna di poca fede. It will take more than petty insults to pry me from your side, Evuccia.” he says making her wish they could just skip the formalities and get straight to the part where they all like him as much as she does.

At least her fucking mother-in-law isn’t here.

“If you do run for the hills, do it before the dessert course, my cousin’s wife has money on you running for your life and I want her to lose badly.” Izzy interrupts coming in with his mother on his arm.

“Israel, we said no gambling tonight, what will Mr. Changretta think?” Olivia scolded her favorite child. “A pleasure to see you again, Mr. Changretta. Allow me to introduce my son---”

“Favorite son.” Israel interjects.

“And casual gambler, Israel de Souza.” His mother smirked. Olivia was a stunning woman even at the age of fifty, tall and regal with coppery red hair and dark eyes. Almost no Riley had inherited Patrick’s blue eyes, everyone here had the sharp brown eyes like Dominga and the women who came before her.

After all, it was Lidia Chapul who built up their company with her bare hands and what better way to honor her than by having her eyes be the defining trait of her descendants.

“Call me Izzy.” Izzy extended his hand in greeting and made it worse. “My mother has a lot of confidence in you surviving the night, Changretta, but she is a lady and ladies don’t gamble. I, however, have no such issue and look forward to the five hundred pesos I will win when you survive your trial by fire.”

“How much is that in dollars?” her fiancé asks with an intrigued look in his eyes.

Luca likes a challenge, likes winning, so competitive he robbed the art gallery himself just for her.

“Five thousand dollars. We can split it fifty-fifty if you want, cugino.” Izzy smirked despite his mother digging her nails into the soft flesh of his arm.

“Sixty-forty and you have a deal.” Luca shook Israel’s hand.

“See, I told you were worrying for nothing, mi perla.” Olivia assured her niece who was bracing herself for a fall.

----

Narizon: man with big nose

Te lo prometo: i promise (informal)

Donna di poca fede: woman of little faith

Cugino: cousin

Mi perla: my pearl

#eva smith shelby #luca changretta x eva smith #luca changretta x oc