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lightfulonion · 1 month

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thank you @skijjiki for tagging me!!!! i love these types of tagging games so much!!

last song: Tokyo Calling by ATARASHII GAKKO! (pls watch the music video. its so good 😭) im kind of, sort of, obsessed with this and i have been listening to it non-stop like my life depends on it. anyway

youtube

fav color: hmm im really feeling brown right now (wow! that sounds awful! im not changing my answer tho. brown rules.)

currently reading: im able to read only fanfics at the moment because anything that involves a book and new characters feels like too much work for me for some reason and also like im cheating at my classes in university. both of these suck big butt and i hate being like this but it's true. anyway please read a million times along the way by starsqwub. its a bokuaka fic, it hasnt updated since 2022 and it made me cry every chapter. its about love, its about friends, its about being a weird person in a normal world and, more importantly, its about bokuto and akaashi. oh! also manga like chainsaw man and toilet bound hanako-kun!! and some webcomics as well too.

currently watching: the wall mostly but also dungeon meshi! and ive been trying to be up-to-date with the one piece anime!!

spicy/savory/sweet: sweet <3

relationship status: i was reading a bokuaka fic and i was crying. take a wild guess.

current obsessions: listening to Tokyo Calling and ATARASHII GAKKO! apparently and im starting to feel like reading the ending of Haikyuu!! which is probably a bad thing?? (im scared. i really dont want it to end :'((( )

tagging: @livingonyoghurtandspite, @horson, @clementinethekitten, @pierogish, @alcieside, @mars-matrix, @peachybeesplease, @mangatxt.

#get tagged #guys. we get (got?) the movie this year. really scared to ask whats next.#i had goofy funny things to share but i forgot them while writing this im sorry u_u #i went home to my mom for a few days and i had 'the end of the beginning' by djo stuck in my head the whole time #and i visited my friends from high school and im kinda sad about the years passing. a quiet kind of sad but sad nonetheless.#like 'my childhood room is too small for me now' kind of sad and nostalgic #i have many things in my brain that are rolling around like pointy rocks and i need to get them out somehow without hurting myself #anyway #pretend i said something really funny and truly profound here instead of. whatever that is.#also i have listened to ATARASHII GAKKO!'s whole discography and its really really good #and i STILL havent been able to read bnha!! :((#i havent been able to be up-to-date with chainsaw man or toilet bound hanako kun and i also NEED to read dungeon meshi AND haikyuu and-#i really love dungeon meshi so far. its so good and i got so excited on the last episode when they put falin's bones in order. that was #so cool. and the bath scene............ yeah.#if you dont want to do this guys is okay btw. im always saying this but i do need you to know because i feel anxious when i dont do them bu #also when i dont tag people. i dont want you to feel like that.#onion talks #ok thats all! bye bye!! hope you have a nice day!!!!!#Youtube

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dodecademons · 9 months

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Laudna and Imogen are in a qpr. They are until they say so. But no really please talk and be on the same page in terms of what your relationship is now. We all know but I love that healthy communication

#people are annoying and clearly dont know what a qpr is so #like you clearly googled it and did no research at all #i want qpr rep #if you genuinely dont know and would like to know I'll tell you #queer platonic relationship DOES NOT MEAN they are not romantic it means that their relationship doesnt fall on the societal norm of it #i think they were practically in one before they even kissed #they love each other they love all assets of one another are supportive and there for one another #they live together and share a bed but i dont see it as a 'conventional partnership' as in date get married have kids #it's more than that #critical role #imodna #southern gothic #just say you hate aspec people and stfu about it #ive gotten like 4 people saying that I'm wrong like okay hater maybe quit gatekeeping the hope for representation #i also dont think laura and marisha know what it is so i highly doubt it'll be true i just said in terms of the characters so chill #imogen temult #laudna #I'm petty can you tell

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eudikot · 10 months

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you're a researcher!! that's so cool! if you don't mind me asking, what do you do?

Thank you for the ask, I love talking about my research!! Currently, I'm working on studying barley and its interaction with Pseudomonas fluorescens using a clear hydrogel media instead of soil. I got interested in this project because I think that the ability to grow plants in hydrogel instead of soil to study their roots is such a cool thing, and since I'm majoring in both plant and microbial biotechnology adding the bacterial aspect helps bring everything I'm working on all together (and is something I can make a paper out of). Then to add biotechnology into the equation, we added GFP (green fluorescent protein) into the bacteria, which causes them to glow green when hit with UV light and viewed under a filter. This makes it easier to see the bacteria on the roots.

Because this projects excites me so much and has some cool pictures, I have to share some. The first picture are roots without any bacteria and the second one has the bacteria. Feel free to take a second and see if you can identify any differences between the two images.

The first noticeable thing I see is within the hydrogel itself. The non-bacterial control has a much darker background, likely because there are no bacteria to fluoresce in it. However, you may notice that the roots still have a glow to them. That's actually because plants have autofluorescence based on the proteins/chemicals they produce which was visible through the filter. Now, the things that stand out to me on the bacterial roots compared to the regular ones are that they almost have a rougher appearance, likely due to the bacteria colonies growing on it. And then there is the bright spots of bacteria that are not present on the bacteria-free roots. Seeing such a stark difference so easily (since I have been looking at images of these for a while now and know what I'm looking for) honestly blew me away when this actually seemed to work.

Also, just to talk about autofluorescence again, the chlorophyll in the leaves make the plants so bright in this system. I mean look at that leaf!! I never though I'd see such a pretty plant (the last one looks slightly different from the rest because it was taken with my phone instead of the microscope camera, but catches the entire autofluorescence really well).

And to wrap this whole spiel up, let me give a little background on where I started with doing research. I actually started out by doing data analysis on differential gene expression, or the differences in expression under different conditions. A lot of analysis uses an "out of 100%" model if you will, and because of this if one gene changes expression a lot but everything else stays the same, it'll look like all those genes have lower expression compared to the one that changed even if they might not. You can see how that might be a bit of a problem. I was testing a new R package that would compare gene expression in a different way to bypass this problem and more clearly see what is actually happening to different genes.

Because I was just helping a bit on this project I never saw its conclusions before moving onto other things. I took a side off of that project to get a grant and do a systematic review on how other researchers are describing their gene expression clustering, since in R you need to define the clustering method (how different groups are compared to one another) and the number of clusters you want. Because these are human entered and can change the outcome of the data you're analyzing, it's important that what you do can be replicated, but a lot of researchers were very vague in even what packages they used to cluster. I'm still finishing up that work so hopefully I'll be able to publish a paper on it soon.

Then I've also had fun helping some of our grad students with barley biomass measurements and, my absolute favorite, soil microbe DNA extraction. That student is using differences in the soil microbiome to see if it has an impact on the growth of the barley, and is actually what inspired me to student plant-microbe interactions!

#I tried to sum all of my research experience up but if there are anymore questions please feel free to ask!#This turned into a bigger ramble than I was expecting whoops #Sorry for the delay I've been traveling and knew I had to share the images that were on my laptop #I have a love-hate relationship with explaining research to a general audience #I love it because it is a skill all scientists should have should have because research should be understandable by all #But with how specialized I've become in what I do it can sometimes be so hard to explain it in a way everyone can understand #It's okay tho because my boss can't understand what I'm doing if I don't explain it in simpler terms because she's not working on this #That being said if anything is confusing I'd love to try and clear it up!#Hoping these projects will be finished before I graduate and turned into published papers

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caffeinatedopossum · 7 months

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Below is a little excerpt from my journal from a little over a year ago. I've been thinking about it a lot and decided I want to share it (with anyone willing to read this very long post). With that said, this is incredible personal to me and this excerpt may be triggering as it involves themes of suicide and trauma

I can't recall what I said just moments earlier but I get the impression from the look on my girlfriend's face that it was something I shouldn't have said. She looks concerned and shocked, angry fear washing over the familiar lines of her face. I had stood up to leave the room, saying something like "I'm gonna stay up for a bit, you should get some sleep though", feeling completely numb. I'm drained and tired, emptiness permeating my conscience in a way that sleep can never fill.

"I'm not going to sleep *now*!" she retorts, incredulous.

"What..." I try to ask, but it's not a question, really. My voice does sound confused but not in a way that asks for an answer. "What did I just say…?"

I hate that I have this question. I hate that it's not a rhetorical one, I genuinely let those thoughts slip away. I hate that I can't remember. In seconds, the hatred is filling me up- not pushing away the tiredness, just sitting in seething silence atop it.

"You told me you called the suicide hotline today. You're not okay." The words are piercing and final, like I can hear the period at the end of each sentence. I'm not okay.

There's something in the air that thickens the oxygen, a sweet smelling poison that chokes me. I sit down next to her again, mostly because I want to offer some comforting words, but I linger there only because I feel too weak to stand when there are none to give.

In reality, I just want to run. I want to run and run and never stop running but I'm too tired. All the strength is sapped from me by the hurt in my girlfriend's voice. I forgot she cares about me more than I do. *I'm so stupid*. I scold myself silently for being so forgetful, for being so apathetic, so careless with my love.

The hatred boils inside of me, tendrils swimming in my chest like hands reaching up through the soil in a graveyard. They're the hands of memories, refusing to be buried alive, demanding to survive.

"I'm sorry," I say in an unrecognizable voice.

I try to lay my head on her shoulder but move away when it feels absurdly wrong, like a hot stove reaching for an unsuspecting hand, a burn that can only be justified by the hand's accidental touch. An action that would be impossible. And so I return to being inanimate.

The suicide hotline had hung up on me. I told them I want to live but hardly got to finish the sentence, the other words that would've strung together to tell them "but I don't have the strength".

They offered me the same dismissal I'm so comfortable with. It's familiar and unthreatening. I welcome its presence like a thief that I will never accuse of its crime- afterall I did watch as I let it happen. Doesn't that mean I wanted it? Or perhaps I just felt too powerless to do anything but allow it.

I apologize and apologize with my whole being. I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm sorry I'm hurting. I'm sorry I exist.

I'm sorry that I want to take this existence from you, you who loves me far beyond my comprehension.

I didn't want this- existence or pain. It's not like I asked for it… at least not the first hundred times.

I was born into it, like a uniform I can never take off. It itches and burns, begging to be part of me, and I can never slip out of it completely, even when I retreat into my mind. I feel it on top of my skin, everywhere I go. When you think you're touching me, you're touching it. When I think I'm touching you, I'm touching it. When I undress, it is enveloping me still.

It hurts unjustly.

I've exiled it, tormented it, starved it, scarred it, reprimanded it … hated it. And now I just want to kill it, to let it die under an unmarked grave.

My girlfriend doesn't hold me for quite a while now, nor will she even look at me. She's talking but I'm only hearing myself.

Hearing myself thinking 'No, this feels bad. Please stop.'

The words are being poured into my ears. The truth is holding my face tight enough to leave fingerprint bruises and I can't look away from it's angry eyes.

'It's not supposed to feel good.' Someone else says the words in my mind.

'Deal with it.' Says another.

I know they aren't wrong, the brain is built to survive, not to feel good. I reluctantly surrender to the truth, to the uncertainty of its grasp, even though I feel like it will kill me.

Maybe *because* I feel like it will kill me.

But I don't want to die. I just want, for once, to stop surviving.

#anyways. gonna pretend im not being super vulnerable with this one #okay but all that said i am incredibly proud of my writing in this. i feel like it says exactly what i wanted to say #and i hope that by sharing it i can help someone feel less alone

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readymades2002 · 8 months

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something difficult about writing/storytelling but only in short disconnected bursts is that writing anything longform is very difficult. there isn't as much time to practice long-term character development or subtlety (implying character instead of immediately clarifying) when its not really meant to go anywhere but a notes app. its a little frustrating...i'd love to do something more longform though. i've considered maybe just doing some short writing scenes in my various original universes a lot recently mostly because i just havent had time to draw anything fancy recently </3 maybe that would be something...

#briefly talked about it with a coworker today bc i mentioned my brother makes music #and she got excited because she paints and she showed me some of her work (beautiful btw!!!)#and said she hopes he pursues music and doesnt get his heart crushed by retail like we do #we still make things but ive been thinking about it...it really is like #i feel like ive had less TIME to make things but ive also developed more interest in my own ideas #and in constructing them on their own terms. its hard to describe and even harder to share because its #not churning out fanart for a response i guess?#i dont know. i do feel more satisfied with what im planning but theres less to share #anyway i promised her i'd show her my art sometime so essentially i have to flee the country now #she does lovely work she paints pictures of pets and it seems so nice. she seems so happy with it!#its like...i love it. im a little jealous of it. i feel so much pressure to Do Something New with my art #try to craft scenes and settings (i think setting is such ann important part of storytelling but i have so much trouble drawing it!)#and try new compositions and poses and just not have everything look the same all the time #its led to a lot of work im proud of but its also hard to create under those expectations...#i wish i could find a niche and settle into it comfortably. i think fun character drawings could be that for me #but its...it frustrates me to post those because it feels like if its easy and i like doing it and how it turns out then im not trying #okay i think im done now. sorry for these rambling introspective posts lately lol im #trying to warm back up to posting so i can use this website again (despite how very very bad it is)...#i want to see my frieeeeeends <//////3 i want to be here without running away <///3

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selkiecoded · 2 years

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hm. okay someone said something on twitter that got me thinking. okay i am very firmly a yoohan truther supporter lover all that stuff. and i think there are many situations in which they can be and will be together in some shape or form, without kdj. coming to mind instantly are the three year gap, 1865th round, and 1863rd round. prime yoohan material. but at the same time i think these situations are sort of haunted by kdjs absence, and/or really set up to fail. yoohan are people who work well together in achieving a shared goal, for better or for worse. like with 1863 - which would have the least amount of kdj influence - they are pretty much on a path of mutual destruction, hastened by one another. all of these situations, in which theyre working together for some reason or another, it never feels like they can bridge in to anything really vulnerable, you know? i love yoohan on its own, and i do think they can get shit done on their own, but at the same time, kdj coheres them in a way i dont think they can really achieve without him being there. do these words strung together like this make any sort of sense.

#throwing spaghetti on the wall. the haunting specter of kdj can he LEAVE?#thinking abt 1863 yh is like. ohhh they are the worst. i have stuff half written and itd end w hsy clutching yjhs shirt like.#let me just more or less copy paste it in the tags hold on #'I asked the Outer God‚' she snarls‚ clutching hi shirt. 'I asked him‚ 'Does YJH want to die?' He said yes‚ yes you do. But everyone with #half a fucking brain knows not to trust an outer god not to rip happiness out of your hands‚ so I'm asking you now‚ you bastard: do you #want to die?'#She's breathing heavy by the time she finishes‚ not from exertion‚ but from pure‚ desperate anger. She stops for a minute and just pants‚#staring down at the ground‚ her fingers still curled around the collar of his coat. But‚ unexpectedly‚ a hand wraps around her own‚ gently.#When she looks up‚ YJH is staring both at her‚ and through her. 'You can show me the end of this world.' It's not a question‚ but she #answers it anyways. 'Of course I can‚ you asshole. Are you doubting me?' The darkness is his eyes‚ just on the edge of hollow‚ is #absolutely beautiful. His jaw works‚ and he goes‚ 'I want to die.' HSY stops and breathes in and out‚ very slowly. She licks her lips‚ her #throat dry‚ and brings her free hand higher to the side of YJH's face. 'Well‚ okay‚' she says after a long moment. 'Then you and I have a #lot of work to do.'#end scene. and in my head thats where it ends completely. itd sorta be them in the very beginning like sort of figuring each other out.#like i have a couple of half-scenes written in like the theater dungeon or discussing mia or hsy proving herself or whatever. and like you #can see the yoohan in waves hand all that but its like. the tension or whatever? of trusting the other to help achieve your shared goal #but like the shared goal is . what if we were planning our mutual permanent death. and we were both girls.#i think hsy would get sealed too? thats what i got i stopped at that part in my reread bc of school. i hope you die. i hope we both die.#geez. chill out man. whyd i type all that. well if youre reading this i hope you liked the wip ill finish it eventually ehhh.#also working on jihye&kdj fic ive mentioned a few fimes. and uhh general 49 stuff on and off cuz he cursed my brain #sorry sorry wow #orv

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vampstel · 1 year

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Tfw you try to be nice and give someone advice online since you’re concerned for their safety but they take it the wrong way and get mad :’D

#꒰ v’s rambling ꒱#Sighs #I only said ‘it’s not the best to talk about very personal things in public’ and I get blasted by two people saying I’m rude #I only wanted to give advice… as someone who’s been affected by doing this thing before #and seeing others get affected by doing this as well #it’s not good… trust me #and like #It’s not bad to vent. I do it too. But don’t ever share too much info no matter if you think you’re safe #It’s still concerning regardless to post or talk extensively about private matters on a public platform #Y’know what I mean?? It’s okay to vent online but there’s a line yu shouldn’t cross #and they definitely crossed it #Tbh I may have lied and said I was an adult to get thru to them but they didn’t listen #Oh well. Hope they’ll be safe #And tbf I’ll be an adult next year which is kinda insane #/j that’s a shit excuse but anyway

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mainfaggot · 1 year

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In grade 11 (age 16), i hated this one guy so intensely that i tried to get my frenemy to feed him a spoiled chicken salad

#basically frenemy and i were in the same bio / chem / english class and we were friends bc we sat next to each other #and joked around and stuff #but also enemies (one sided . my side to be specific) bc he was an annoying ass white kid who was so tone deaf and idiotic sometimes #to elaborate he would just say casually racist shit to me and i would have to sit there and explain to him why that was wrong and he would #be like 'ohhhhhhhhhh. okay well i guess i get it 🫤 being woke is so hard sometimes 😣'#i wanted to push him down thr stairs sometimes but he used to share his notes with me so i didnt #anyway #we both had a mutual hatred for this other guy who was also in chem/bio/english with us #bc said guy was an insufferable fucking piece of shit #like openly racist homophobic transphobic like every ist and phobic possible basically #AND to top it off he had an inferiority complex and hated that the frenemy and i were constantly top of the class #so basically one day white boy frenemy and i got so sick of this dude that we were like #what if we traumatised him permanently thus altering the trajectory of his high school career #bc im smart and i didnt want to take the fall in case we got caught i got the frenemy to prepare rotting food prettily in a salad container #and we were about to give it to the guy the following day only to realise he was absent #so. yeah #to this day i hope that guy dies a painful death #z.post

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deathbydarkelves · 2 years

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Some gems from my non-Warcraft friend from when I was showing him around WoW and infodumping earlier today:

*upon seeing Gallywix for the first time* "He looks like the Mucinex monster."

*upon seeing SL Sylvanas for the first time* "Look at this bitch in her sleeveless crop top."

*upon seeing Ardenweald for the first time* "Looks like Avatar."

"World of Warcraft is too concave for me, I don't think I could wrap my brain around it." (He meant to say "complex.")

"NIGHT ELF DANCE PARTY."

*upon seeing a runedeer in Ardenweald for the first time* "WOAH :0"

#if you see this post i hope you're okay with me sharing jhsjcnd #some of what you said was just too funny #tbf to sylvanas i introduced her as ''and here's this bitch i hate'' so

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tobe-sogolden · 2 years

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She’s survived this long, not only survived but thrived and has not let anything get in the way of her happiness with Harry. He must be just as amazing and supportive a partner as she is, because I don’t think she’d have gone through this for anyone. He must be worth it to her and honestly, he deserves someone like that because it’s unfair on him too. She is A LOT stronger than I am, I get burnt out just from being in this fandom. So yeah while this custody thing is just the cherry on top of the shitty treatment she’s received, it was done by someone who’s supposed to care about her at least as the mother of his children. And I think a lot of normal people will be on her side, despite the lunatics we see online. She’s gonna come out the other side I have faith!!!

What this fandom has put her through is disgusting. I wouldn't blame her if she'd had enough by now, no one should have to deal with all of this just because they fell in love. As his fan though, I admire her so much for staying bc it's not like the constant harassment doesn't affect him as well and he deserves someone who's not going to let it come between them. I totally agree that he must be incredible with her for her to think it's all worth it. And idk I feel like the reactions from non-Harry fans I've seen have been mixed. A lot standing up for her and saying it was a dick move and a lot thinking she deserved it for "breaking his heart." The issue is her ex has been the only one controlling the public narrative and everyone automatically believes him bc they see him as his character and think he can do no wrong. She's mentioned it being tempting to correct the false narrative being thrown around, but I feel like she's too classy to want to make this any more public and dramatic than it needs to be, especially because there are two young children involved who will one day grow up and see all of this. Wish her ex shared the same maturity.

#ask #i hope harry was in vegas with her so she didnt have to go through that with no support #i mean imagine just being excited to share something you worked so hard on and having your night ruined like that #and in such a public way too #it's just so calculated and disturbing like that actually makes me worry for what kind of partner he was #ik he says he didn't know but 😐😐😐😐😐#even if he didn't explicitly instruct them to do it on stage something that he said or did indicated that was something he'd be okay with #like the server works for him they wouldn't do something they thought was going to piss him off #just my two cents

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rayvern-sheep · 14 days

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🎊🥂🍾🥳💀💀💀🥳🍾🥂🎊

Abusive cunt died today!!!!!

Bring out the fucking champagne!!!!!

🎊🥂🍾🥳💀💀💀🥳🍾🥂🎊

Oh wait… I can’t drink rn… BOOO

#i might start believing in karma now #that bitch was so fucking awful he had a heart attack in his 50s #i mean ofc he has to steal my fucking thunder by going and DYING #i thought surgery was as dramatic as i could be but NOoOoOoOo #typical fucking gemini (jk i dont actually believe in horoscope shit)#shut up ray #fucking wtf is this year for shit happening in this family #he died alone and in pain… just how it shouldve been #idc if its fucked up to laugh abt someone dying #but that piece of human waste fucking ruined me #i will forever be effected by his treatment of me growing up #and im just glad he can never hurt anyone else #if i could drink to his fucking demise i would rn #but again.. surgery upcoming and i dont wanna risk anything even just a little sip #the relief of knowing he can never abuse someone else is… hoooooooo…#i hope his funeral is fucking deserted #cos no one who had to share a home w/ that man wanted to know him anymore #his ex-wife. his kids. his own fucking brother disowned the bastard YEARS ago #i hope he rots in fucking hell #okay.. that got intense #im not even angry #ive just been laughing and giggling for hrs #but now i wanna forget abt the asshole and focus on myself again #and I’ll end this w/ what my mum said #‘I can’t believe I’m free’

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wavernot4love · 2 months

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alright y'all lil (alright, maybe not so little) recap of the second show of AG's Boom Done tour last night 3.4 in Buffalo @ one of my favorite venues, Mohawk Place. because my brain commits absolutely everything to memory at shows & i like writing it all down before i forget

(for fun & plus maybe folks going to this tour want to know what's shakin, since i haven't seen much online yet):

(note there will be setlist spoilers)

- alright so first, a freakin HIGHLIGHT for me was, of course, GET OUT!!!

Anthony was just kinda messing around with his guitar & then teased it by being like "hmm... how should i play this..." and then went into that and the crowd reception was AWESOME, dude. whatever the opposite of masking is, that's what i was doing there. i definitely started physically jumping up & down once i realized what it was (typical wavernot4love @ the AG show behavior). aka evidently he knew your boy (who like i've mentioned on here, got into Circa last summer through a kind person at a Dunes show rec'ing me Get Out & then BSN. Get Out was straight up my introduction 2 Circa) was in the building (/Ih).

also, i had to shorten my clip to post because in the rest i must've had my phone right next to my mouth,,, which made for some horrifying tone deaf live vox from wavernot4love. be glad i spared y'all from that one.

(i'm gonna put one of those keep reading thingies here, click it 2 see the rest)

- he also played Dyed In The Wool & Frozen Creek, continuing that theme (though I expected these more since he's played em recently). Dyed In The Wool with everyone singing along during the chorus was probably my top moment, and one that's gonna stick with me forever, honestly. i remember thinking it straight up felt like, a churchlike (but positive) experience or something during the songs everyone did that for (remember, it's just anthony this tour no backing band, so it was somewhat quiet in there). more on that later, but AG kept pointing out how nice the singing along was & how fun/awesome this all was, and man, that it was.

- he mentioned valuing spontaneity over a planned setlist every night and basically implied he was just goin for whatever felt right at the time. so just consider the songs i mention here as a basic guideline, he could very well switch stuff up every night. i love that he's like this when it comes to shows - idk dude, like, at one point he even asked folks what time it was, laughing when they told him, jokingly accusing them of being untrustworthy & then going right back into the tunes. dude was just here to play, for as long as he could.

- kinda tied to that, there was a running gag of the set being "inconsistent" (his word). he'd bring up jokingly that there'd be moments where everyone could be singing along, and then songs that nobody knows (and he'd jokingly "apologize" for that), and he'd even (lightheartedly) call specific people out and be like (to laughs) "look at this person, they have no *idea* what i'm gonna play next!" actually i think he said that before Get Out. at one point he was (paraphrased slightly) like, "so if i start playing 12 Circa songs in a row, let me know." i love how he just does whatever the hell feels right in the moment.

- also a couple times he messed up while starting a song (i think due to laughing) and bro would call out folks laughing at him for it (lightheartedly) and be like "this is all performance. vou don't know what goes into this!" (this was not at all serious and said through laughter. straight up half the show was all of us in that room just cracking up together)

- he introduced his Title Fight cover (Numb, But I Still Feel It) by calling TF one of his favorite bands & joking that they're gonna hear this & think it's time to get back together so... if you hear that Title Fight reunited, you know why, which, well, if you know that side of the scene, you know what's up. real shits and giggles moment, if i do say so myself.

- at one point (only bad thing) someone at the front was being objectively Weird in the way people (unfortunately) do to try to get an artist's attention (let's just say it involved throwing money (????? literally what) while yelling stuff about understanding because they're in the industry (??)) and he honestly handled it with so much grace. he pretty much said that made him uncomfortable etc and he would Not be taking more of their money please, he already did that, and that led to him ranting for a second i think mostly to himself in a thinking out loud/under his breath kinda way about *hating* having to sell stuff in the first place in order to do this and like,,, i go into this a bit in the tags but it genuinely reminded me of how i get when i'm passionate about something. what i'm trying to say, is dude clearly was heated & meant it. fully. just felt relevant to include

- then he ranted about something related to the moneythrowing, drunk (question mark) weirdo (long story, but it ended in him telling them to tip bartenders with their money instead of weird things), then used that to go on a tangent about how we should always tip people working in service in general and respect/be kind to them even if they seem rude or whatever because doing that shit is hard & sucks and maybe your kindess will be the wakeup call that causes them to one day have a moment where they're like, man, i was a dick back then for no reason. (i feel like i am nearly direct quoting him here)

- then after a song he joked about the incident saving we were probably just all watching like 🧍‍♂️ and it was like watching dad yell at mom at the dinner table while you just sit there staring at the ground and safe to say the mood was fully lightened after that moment of self awareness fhfhfh

- then a few songs later i guess the person that was being weird had left so he was like, (at this point there were no weird vibes whatsoever, like we were all just scoffing/laughing at the situation and cheering him on) "oh that person who hates me left. did they give the bartender that money?" (someone implied they thought so) and he was like "good." and that was the end with that weirdo situation lol. i have absolutely no idea why that person, drunk or not, thought that was a normal cool thing to do. as always, please don't be weird 2 musicians they are in every sense just Some Guys (gender neutral), treat them like anyone else.

- back 2 totally unserious things, during... uh don't mind me, like i've said in my previous posts i'm still getting 2 know Boom Done, so whatever song has like, the horns kinda near the end? he just started making freakin. horn noises since since there were, in fact, no horns in the building and made us all do them too and everyone was just straight up cackling because it was so stupid (/pos).

- idk one thing that stood out to me was one person belting along at the end of... i can't remember what song it was actually, i think one of his older tunes, but you could tell he heard & a song later complimented it & said it was beautiful. i'm telling ya, he kept going on about how nice folks singing along sounded and encouraging that, which was awesome because i wasn't sure what the vibe was gonna be there since it was just him playing.

- don't want to go into detail since it feels like something between Anthony & whoever he decides to tell it to in real time, ya know, but he did tell a pretty extensive story leading up to Miracle Sun. in terms of themes, it was in regards to (with plenty of laughs mixed into the serious bits, of course) letting folks that matter to him down + falling into a cycle of engaging in stuff that temporarily made him feel better but was moreso just self destructive, in the past. just interesting stuff to hear in connection to a song.

- at the end, before Dear Child, he just talked in the most honest manner about knowing he's let people down, cancelled shows (there were laughs mixed in here too), just not been the best version of himself over the years etc, but appreciating how long everyone has stuck around, and how we keep coming back, & jow much it means whenever we tell someone go check out a song or anything like that, & helping him continue to do this and also support his family and whatnot and man it just. embodied everything i love about AG solo sets i guess. i just admire how open a book &p vulnerable dude is. while i love his more theatric frontman persona of course as it's fun as hell, it's so nice at solo shows like this to hear more from him, in seriousness and otherwise. also dude was posting about how fun it was on instagram later so i'm just glad we all had a great time.

- also at one point before a new tune he was talking about these cds he had that have that on it + some rerecordings, Frozen Creek (feat. Keith of GOW), etc. i love cds so i ran to snag one later of course (they're $12)

- as for other merch he had a few shirts (like that cute one i keep seeing around, with him & the puppy), some art prints, & the Boom Done book thingy (i really wanted it but couldn't swing the $25 right now sadly)

anyways,, i posted on Setlist FM for the first time, here are all the songs i remember for sure (there were definitely at least 4/5 others i am not thinking of, i'd say he did 17ish songs, he played for close to an hour and a half. keep in mind he talked a LOT with us which was awesome)

edit: someone added a few more!!!

anyways, that's the show!!! 1. i may or may not be trying 2 figure out how to pull off one of the other northeast dates (looking @ Cleveland, which is closer but i'd have to drive to, or New York, which is further (+ yknow.. dealing w getting around in NY) but i could take a bus to, this weekend/next week as we speak,,,, that's how freakin good and homey (more on that in the tags aka uhh literal diary section of this post) and impactful this show was.

and 2. if any of this (especially said tags) sounds loopy it sure is because i wrote most of this at roughly four am last night post show, when i was even moreso still back *at* the show in my head. i still stand by all of it though of course, i just know it might not be the most coherent.

this tour rocks. AG's tunes mean so much to me. get out 2 a show!!! tell me about your experiences if ya do/did!!!! yay!!!!

#it is safe to say i have genuinely endless respect & admiration for this person who happens to be my favorite artist in the world #i could not be happier or moreso in my neutral state of how i feel like things should be than i am at the ag show #also the more i hear him talk the more i realize homie reminds me of... me.#not in a “me modeling my behaviors after him because i look up to him” kinda way #though i certainly have picked up on small things there like i tend to with folks #like phrases and the like #but no #moreso just in a “the two of us happen to share some innate similarities in regards to a buncha stuff” kinda way #just an observation. in hindsight i wonder if i subconsciously picked up on this back when i was first getting into his music #n that contributed to it resonating with me so much #i don't know man i just know i'm glad 2 have this dude's music in my life and to see homie thriving #truly hope we can meet @ a show sometime soon so i can dive into how much of a positive impact he's had on my life. i have so much to say!!#i tried to make that happen at this show i really did #i just guess it wasn't meant 2 happen then. and that is okay!! i know it will whenever it's meant to.#going back to what i said about everything just feeling.... right at the show i keep thinking about how while i miss that already #and am kinda having a crisis where in my head i feel like i'm still there (or should be) as opposed 2 here back in regular just. life #i'm just glad and lucky moments like this show are a real thing that can be my life at all.#basically i just mean the vibe of ag shows feels like everything i define my life by really #realized as something/place i can actually physically experience.#shows r my safe space that embody everything i dream about when i'm just going about day to day life #live music is everything 2 me & that's only amplified exponentially by folks like anthony that get it & turn shows even moreso into a home #thanks for reading if you have #i'm truly glad to have this space where i feel like i can talk about Everything #i love that on here the “oversharing” thing is just a thing everyone does #actually that ties back to what i brought up about anthony #i respect how unapologetically open that dude is in ways that might be “too much” for some people & really connect 2 that #point is i am so grateful for days like this and music like this and people like this #anthony green #circa survive #wavernot4love talks ag tunes

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