#I miss it. everything is so fluffy now. they’re weirdos make them be weird again.

[squuote]

honestly where did all the dynamic stanley/narrator stuff go. I want to see them being dumbass weirdos who fight all the time again.

#crow thoughts #SORRY. saw a good post talking bout this and I’m just like NODS NODS NODS #I miss it. everything is so fluffy now. they’re weirdos make them be weird again. #fluff isn’t the problem btw it’s more of like. the way how it went various portrayals of their dynamic to just the singular palatable one #which sucks because I don’t like the palatable one. I like the one where they are dumb and beating each other with hammers #/HJ but also /SRS #more fun that way….

[kbstories]

Axiomatic

ax·i·om·at·ic (adj.)

Self-evident; unquestionable.

The best part of battle is the afterparty.

(Or: Remember that banquet Luffy promised? This is it.)

Tags: Established Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Partying

Set in Wano. Spoilers for all of Wano. Read Chapter 2 here.

***

“What do you think?”

Lipstick glides over thin lips, the wax malleable and smooth as it leaves a coat of rusty red in its wake. Killer makes sure it’s perfectly even before he glances elsewhere. In the mirror, Kidd’s face is all scowled impatience.

One last run-down – eyeliner, mascara, lipstick: done, done and done – then Killer grabs the mask waiting for him. “Alright, let me see.”

Their eyes meet and Killer sighs. Metal over skin-and-bone, Kidd’s arms are crossed; his shaved brows push together further. As if Killer doesn’t indulge his every whim by the regular.

“I’m looking. Show me again.”

Kidd grumbles, “Watch.” He opens his arms, reveals an unbuttoned shirt tucked into his favorite patterned pants, glinting gold over black under a double-belted cinch at the waist. So far, so very Kidd.

No, the point of discussion is the frankly massive coat slung across his neck: Nice soft-looking suede on the outside and glossy-grey fur on the inside, it hugs Kidd’s shoulders in all the right places to then cascade down his back in a display of near-ridiculous opulence.

Extravagant, over-the-top, flashy. It’s hard to tell which type of animal had to die for this. There must be a lot less of ‘em now, with this monstrosity in the world.

Kidd is swiveling it back and forth with critical glances to the mirror, the coat wooshing with the motions. Killer takes in the fluid glide of fur over Kidd’s exposed chest, the contrast of impeccable couture against jagged scars. Loses himself for a moment or two imagining how it would feel like to run his hands over both.

An appreciative hum. In Killer’s educated opinion, Kidd looks damn near sinful.

“Yeah?”, Kidd asks and Killer nods. “Yeah. Heh, told ya the detour’s worth it.”

Perhaps it was, although sifting through Onigashima’s treasury whilst bleeding all over heaps of shiny expensive everything might’ve been a case of skewed priorities. There’s no need to talk about what-could-have-beens, though – they’re here, they’re rich and they’re long overdue at Strawhat’s banquet.

Killer’s practically done, tight jeans under a shirt that’s done up to the third button and left to flare open otherwise. It’s not his old favorite (that one stopped fitting him a good year ago) but similar enough, patterned in geometric black-and-white shapes. Definitely one of his fancier ones, not that anyone will care one way or the other where they’re going.

It’s… been a while since it’s been anyone other than them and their crew. Pirates are pirates, allied or no; Killer eyes the scythes neatly stored next to the bed.

Kidd is touching up his lips one last time, the same shade as Killer’s. “Bring ‘em. That Roronoa guy keeps throwing you weird looks and I’m not allowed to kill him.”

Yet goes implied. Killer isn’t wearing his mask and so he doesn’t roll his eyes. “He’s got every reason to”, he reminds his captain, focusing on the heavy clasps of his weapons to keep the memories at bay. The red mark on his chest stings, stuck in the limbo between a healing wound and a fresh scar for a few days still.

A testament to his failure that Killer won’t hide. If Zoro hadn’t stopped him that day his hands would be stained with blood that cannot be washed off, not entirely.

Kidd’s eyes are on him, dark. “I don’t care.”

Resentful as always. Killer reaches for him, digs his fingers into the fluffy lining of that coat and oh, the fur is as soft as it looks. “I do, though.” A firm tug, one Kidd follows until Killer can kiss him, careful not to smudge anything.

“No killing of allies today, ‘kay? We just came back from a war. The crew’s tired. I’m tired.”

“Mh” is all Kidd has to say to that, a grumpy huff against Killer’s lips more than anything. Kidd does give him a proper kiss, however, and Killer knows he won this one.

All he can ask of Kidd is to try, anyways – with two equally hot-headed captains and a whole host of morons around to rile him up, there’s bound to be blood eventually. The trick is to make sure everyone’s drunk enough not to take it too personally.

A pinch to his ass tells Killer he was caught scheming. Kidd smirks, tells him, “We’re getting wasted tonight”, all triumphant like it’s the best idea he’s had all week, and Killer doesn’t miss the emphasis on we.

“Two Emperors down! Strawhat better bring the good stuff tonight or this alliance is over.”

Killer groans, “Kidd”, but he’s smiling, too. Before he can be called out on it, Killer shoves his mask into Kidd’s hands, metal clanking against metal. “Make yourself useful. We’re late.”

Kidd’s laugh is more of a cackle than anything else – “Yes, darling”, said in that sarcastic lilt Killer knows all too well – yet Kidd complies. His hands, organic or otherwise, handle the mask they’ve built with care and precision. Soon, Killer’s vision is narrowed down to dots, the audio filter of his helmet kicking in soon after.

Killer rolls his neck and hums, satisfied. “Ready?”

Kidd throws a final look at himself in the mirror, grinning into the collar of his new coat.

“Hell yeah. Let’s go.”

*

The banquet is a sprawling, messy affair that swallows the entirety of the ramshackle village the Strawhats picked as their home in Wano Country.

From the moment the Kidd Pirates get there they are surrounded. Wherever Killer's eyes roam there are knots of people drinking, eating, laughing and crying, sometimes simultaneously – there, at the heart of it all where the crowd is thickest, burns the largest bonfire Killer has seen in a while, perhaps ever. Smiling faces all around and for once, it doesn’t make Killer’s stomach drop because they’re genuine.

Survivors of SMILE just like him, caught in the rush of real emotions for the first time in who knows how long. Killer has a pretty good idea how that feels like.

Next to him, Kidd is so tense he’s stalking, gaze intense, oozing Haki to keep people away; Wire’s hand is clenched to bloodlessness around his trident while Heat exhales a bit of smoke with every breath and yeah, Killer gets it. Can’t help it himself, either, scythes kept close to his sides to make sure they’re there.

The thing is: They don’t do these kinds of things. Parties, yes, many and often but not like this. Killer can count on one hand the amounts of times the population of any island was actually happy to see them, much less willing to send them off with one big feast.

Actually, he wouldn’t need to count at all because it’s simply never happened. Even filtered by his mask it’s… a lot to take in at once.

The entire damn country is here, it seems, all breathing a collective sigh of relief so monumental the air itself carries their joy. For all that the Kidd Pirates were in this for revenge and glory, Killer can’t deny it’s rewarding to see a nation so ravaged by an Emperor’s greed do whatever they want for the first time in decades.

Finally, a few familiar faces start popping up. Some of the samurai greet them with nods of their heads, overly formal like the people from Wano tend to be; here and there they spot the distinctly branded yukata the members of Trafalgar’s crew are wearing and, rarer but all the more noticeable, those animal people Strawhat dragged along from somewhere.

Minks? Or something? Killer is inclined to say it doesn’t matter if they didn’t have the habit to jump on them out of fucking nowhere. Looking for bone-crushing hugs and wet-nosed kisses, of all things, and– Oh no, he did not sign up for this.

Much less for whatever that group of cat minks are gearing up to, staring at the holes in his mask with eyes nearly swallowed by black, round pupils. Killer is absolutely, solidly convinced he doesn’t even want to know what that’s all about.

“Captain.”

And yeah, his tone is a little more alarmed than he truly means it to be. It gets Kidd’s attention, though – himself having fought off a dog mink enamored with his metal arm not too long ago – and he barks a laugh even when he ramps up his presence to an almost stifling degree.

“C’mon, I feel Strawhat up ahead.”

To nobody’s surprise, they find him smack dab in the middle of everything. Strawhat and his crew are lounging around the bonfire, there’s no other way to describe it: All broad smiles and flushed faces amidst the chaos, completely in their element, and it’s hard to tell if it’s the closeness to the bonfire or the vaguely impressive amounts of empty bottles lying around already. They’re certainly boisterous enough for it to be the latter, even Jinbei.

And no, Killer hasn’t quite processed that turn of events yet. The strangeness of seeing someone of that caliber wheeze into his mug with laughter as his (new?) captain takes a disturbingly big bite out of an even bigger chunk of meat is… not helping things, in that regard.

What a bunch of weirdos. In the safety of his mask, Killer allows himself a small smile.

From here the flames seem to reach for the sky, tinged in warm pinks and oranges by the sinking sun and there, very faintly, Killer can make out the first stars. He can’t remember ever seeing them, not with the factories running over night as well.

“Spikey!!”

Ah. Killer’s head turns with Kidd’s and it’s a good thing, too, because there’s a stretched arm coming for his captain – Kidd bites out, “Nope, no, Strawhat”, red eyes going wide – and Killer manages to side-step it in the last possible second. One, twice it wraps around Kidd, fancy coat and all, and then the rubber recoils.

“Killer!”

Oh my, Killer thinks mildly as he watches him go. Behind him, half their crew is flabbergasted and the other half is in stitches. “Captain’s gonna be in such a mood”, Heat says to Wire, and it just sends them into another fit of chuckles.

For Killer, finding a drink becomes his top priority. So much for keeping things peaceful.

>>Chapter 2.

#one piece #eustass kid #killer one piece #kidkiller #fanfiction #one piece fanfiction #this is a setup for smut in chapter 2 ngl #(i just got carried away as per usual) #this fic is also on AO3!! #my stuff #one piece spoilers

[cake-in-a-tin]

My thoughts rewatching all the Harry Potter movies back to back

forgive typos, and be warned - there's a lot...

the first two have a smaller amount of thoughts for some reason, idk why

 Philosopher’s Stone

teeny harry haha

that snake is so beautiful

no post on sundays bro

hi hagrid

how did the dursleys get off the island tho

aw harry is so teeny and innocent

ollivander’s entrance is so iconic, like i want to enter every room like that

hermione is so great already

and you are…

‘you’ve got dirt on your nose by the way, did you know?’

haha tiny malfoy

TREVOR! + neville

that death glare mcgonagall omg

oof snape really hates harry

it's leviooosa not leviosaaa

troll in the dungeon!!!

hi fluffy

ew norbert is gross to be completely honest

creepy malfoy staring at the window

malfoy being sassy wow

‘nighty night…’ whyyy filch?

oof ron are u ok

bye hermione

voldemort is kinda cute with his big eyes

harry really just killed quirrell jeez man

alas earwax

Chamber of Secrets

ah go away dobby don't be weird

yes the car with fred and george

oof bye uncle vernon haha

ah awkward let go of harry lockhart we hate u

haha ginny is iconic

rons face when the train comes omg

ron can drive? that's impressive…

ooh a voice scaryyy

hey colinnn

eat slugs - yas

let go of his arm lockhart

uh oh colin is petrified

hahaha snape annihilated lockhart wow

gosh moaning myrtle is annoying

tom riddle is such a weirdo hgh

ew spiders

lockhart is hilarious when he has lost his mind wow

yas fawkes

ew he just stuck the sword right through its head didn't he...

powerful sock…

go away lucius ur annoying

Prisoner of Azkaban

ugh aunt marge blow up already

sassy harry tm

tom is iconic

so is crookshanks tbh

the knight bus kinda sucks in the movie tho

yess lupin hi

ugh shut up trelawney

ah the best scene aka harry and draco being sassy towards each other

‘it’s killed meh!’

the other best scene: lupin, boggarts and the record player

love when they are eating sweets and just being good friends

yay marauders map - iconic fred and george

nice snowman also

my dad didn't strut and neither do i - yeah right...

yes leave hermione

trelawney stop being creepy

take that malfoy

harry third wheeling

yas remus save sirius

"old married couple" haha snape knows what's up

die peter lol

haha yes they will chop your leg off ron definitely

ugh harry stop being noble

haha yes mentioning the marauders

ew stop peter

oh no werewolf

sirius is so dramatic haha he cant stop turning into a werewolf my dude

bad idea yes ron i agree

oof fight him sirius

no sirius!

the dementorssss

no harry that's not a real patronus dude

nom eat the little soul nugget nice

ah no they're gonna kiss sirius nooo

scabbers did it ok... shut up ron

dumbledore just smacking ron's broken leg and being mysterious

and enter many time paradoxes

‘this is not normal’ hahahah wow harry

yess save buckbeak dudes

yas beautiful patronus dude

this music tho wow

au revoir sirius

I wonder how many stairs they ran up...

poor ron so confused

that bird just got squished no

don't leave lupin

please tell harry about the marauderss

i love lupin omg

ooh a firebolt thanks godfather

the ending face wow

Goblet of Fire

ooh nagini hello

yay frank you will die soon so enjoy your tea

dr who!

ah voldemort's creepy little hand tm

yes ron is covering his non existent boobs wow

hermione's so mad 4 some reason

yes cedric diggory in a tree

everyone has long hair why

isn't just any manky old boot mate

cedric amos and arthur are show offs

feet off the table!

i luv magik

wow krum is enjoying himself

Why is draco wearing a suit?

lucius is very ominous

think ur in luvvv ron

is there no winky in this? sad

harry is so awkward omg

bye hedwig find sirius even though the ministry cant

oh bonjour beauxbatons

wow so dramatic here come the durmstrang peoples

wow run filch ao athletic

ew the beauxbatons entrance is so weird and compared to the durmstrang one is kind of sexist

ow poor flitwick a fork to the hand that's gotta hurt

moody is so dramatic

dumbledore already shouting nice

why does he have so many bugssss

ah that is a creepy spider

poor neville he has to have cuppa with moody that sucks

yess fred and george back at it again

hermione ruining the vibe

HARRY POTTER DIDJA PUTCHA NAME IN THE GOBLET OF FIYAH dumbledore asked calmly

what would happen if harry was just like "nope"? would he die that would be interesting

igh rita skeeter go away ur creepy my dude

hate it when ur eyes glisten with ghosts of ur past

yas sirius in a fire

"who are u talking to?" "im vlogging ron" (how it should have gone. harry should have a youtube channel just saying)

poor harry a third wheel yet again between madame maxime and hagrid ew

wow draco in a tree, why? so many people in trees this movie

"nyaaah"

malfoy as a ferret is my favorite character

my father will hear about thissss

omg rita get outttt

fight the dragonnnn

feel like someone should have stopped the dragon after it broke free... idk *shrugs*

it would be so boring if u were watching the tournament because you can't see anything that's happening most of the time, only for the 1st task and a bit if the 3rd task.

knew u wouldnt die harry, lose a leg - or an arm -pack it in all together? nevaaaaa

god just open it harry

ron ur so awkward...

harry spitting out his drink will never not be funny to me

oh yes the gorgeous dress robes

poor ron has it tough, having to dance with mcgonagall and having ro wear those robes...

*babbling bumbling band of baboons*

the twins are hilarious in this haha

aw neville!

snape is really violent can't 2 boys discuss their love lives or lack thereof in peace

ron's jealous of viktor krum haha

love harry just being so confused and saying "spectacular" when cedric speaks to him.

given the fact harry literally told him the task cedric didn't do that much to help.

ugh no myrtle stop

harry going "do i" when neville tells him he seems tense is such a mood

harry's hair when he was swimming haha

just leave them harryy omg too noble

harry holds his breath for a long time after his gills go away - longer than i can

fred and george making fun of harry having 'moral fiber' is exactly what i would do in the situation

mr crouch stop being weird

yes finally singing hoggy warty hogwarts

oh hi mr crouch, taking a nap in the forest are u? cool

i would say do not stick your face in the pensieve but that's just me

Dr Who changed a bit since i last saw him, he's a bit mental now...

snape is so iconic wow

"bubble juice sir?" bahaha sassy harry back at it again

this music is so great

i would freak out if i had to go in that maze it's so creepy and feels like it would be so filled with jumpscares just nope

"a cauldron? What are u guys gonna do - eat me? that's gross!" feels like it should be in the movie

aw baby voldemort is so cute

ugh just chop off another finger or something wormtail jeez so much drama

how is voldemort still alive - the cauldron is on fire??

the movie is also really missing voldemort dancing with the death eaters

u dont have hair my dude stop caressing ur bald head

voldemort has lovely long fingernails

lucius' blonde hair poking out from beneath his hood is so funny 4 some reason.

"i can touch u now" is really not a good sentence

bit awkward to return with a dead body...

its alright harry *shakes his head violently*

uh oh that's not professor moody its barty jr

Order of the Phoenix

halfway done woo

the intro music is still a jam the 5th time

that is big whinging not little whinging

hi big D what a great nickname...

uh oh dementorrrrr

yes mrs figg the most iconic character in the movies

harry looks a lot like frodo baggins

yay the order is rescuing him finally

yes remus and sirius and mrs weasley and everyone

ooh kreacher

jeez hermione attack him

crookshanks attacking the extendable ears is just what my cat would do

cute godfather godson moments yeass

arthur weasley trying to function as a muggle is just so wholesome

ugh not umbridge ew

yes clear those charges

aw padfoot yess

wow that's a lovely coat sirius

voldemort looks great in a suit wow

didn't harry see his parents die? why couldn't he see the thestral before?

yes luna!

oh shut up umbridge oh my goddd

yes ron u tell seamus like a good friend

sassy harry reaching full potential

ugh umbridge sucks wow

so evil torturing harry

yes weasleys wizards wheezes

luna is so pure and perfect

the friendship between her and harry is so amazing

yas tell umbridge, mcgonagall

trelawneys bad but she doesn't deserve to be kicked out by umbridge

oof professor dumbledore just straight up ignored harry

yes harry just say you're rubbish that will make people think your sane

yes hermione break the rules!

oof ginny is jealous of cho liking harryyyy

yay the room of requirement!

dumbledores army is so fabuloussss

nigel is amazing and i love him

wow hermione just knocked out ron haha

harry potter the boy who made cheesy inspirational speeches

wow ginny is so powerful

harry and cho are so awkward eeehhhh

just because you’ve got the emotional range of a teaspoon *cringy forced laughter*

occlumency lessonnssss yay what fun

cute christmas scenes wow

ooh the family tree and sirius' backstory yay

harry u aren't becoming like voldemort u are going through pubertyyyy its hormonesssssss

yay hagrid finally

oh no it's bellatrix get ready for crazinesss

poor sirius he keeps getting the blame for everything that's so unfair

is neville tall or is harry short, because there is a huge height difference

aw all the patronuses are so cute

uh oh here comes umbridge...

noo they are captured and dumbledores lying waaa

oof dumbledore is as sassy as harry at some points - "dumbledores got style"

no umbridge is heaf and shes fricking evilllll

grawp yess. hes kind of cutee

ron is jealous of grawp bahaha

sheesh snape chill

yes a bit of maraudrrss aahhhh

thats it? noo

aw fred and george comforting a little boy is too cute!

yes fred and george!!! disrupt those OWLS!!

no harry! he doesn't have sirius nooo

yes hermione fake it till u make it ( or until u get umbridge attacked by grawp )

yay the centaurs are here as well get herrr

'i must not tell lies' the sass omg

jeez how many prophecies are there wow

pranked, harry dude ur kind of rubbish

well done ginny you've made all the prophecies fall

yh id rather watch my friends die than give u the prophecy, don't really like them tbh

yas sirius!

the order yes

you're beautiful sirius

noooooo siriusss 😭😭😭😭

yooo voldemort my dudeee

hope the ministry has a massive roomba

the DA just come in to see harry writhing on the floor and are like 'cool'

nice one fudge finally realised he's back cool, cool

ah yes angsty harry tm

aw poor luna, her shoes are all stolen.

luna is an icon though

we have something voldy doesn't - noses hahahaha

Half Blood Prince

uh oh the dark mark is here

death eaters as well fun

fenrir greyback!!

oh no not this bridge! i went across it and i was scared af

dumbledore appearing out of nowhere is so funny

ew slughorn no

wow i need dumbkwdored tidying spell so badly

slughorn collecting people is kind of creepy tbh

im so glad i dont have as many staircases as the weasleys

oh yes narcissa and bellatrix being shifty

oops snape u probs shouldnt have done that

yess fred and george!!!

weasleys wizard wheezes looks amazinggg

uh not cormac mclaggen

oooh its "draco and mummy"

no fenrir we wanted to look at draco stroking a cabinet

yes arnold!

yes draco malfoy is a "creepy bloke" ronald

why is draco always wearing a suit??

yes draco is going to pigfarts!

ouch why would u stomp on his nose??

yez luna save him

noo dont let snape teach defense against the dark arts!! i miss lupin...

poor harry having to do potions again ugh

dun dun dunnn the half blood prince

poor seamus stuff is still exploding

haha dumbledore ships hermione and harry lol

baby tom riddle is creepyy

tom riddle and slughorn were bffs wow so cute

edgy draco in his loki suit

aw rons the only one listening

ugh cormac mclaggen is so gross nooo

haha ron is so rubbish at quidditch id be just like him

'the binding is fragile' hahaha excuses

harry sleeps with his potions book hheehe wow

wow sneaky draco

rons face when hermione mentions her snogging him haha.

uh oh cursed necklace alert

harry pottrr the boy who just knew

snape is so sarcastic wow icon (not really tho ew)

oh god they're talking about skin aahhh

noo harry stop being awkwarddddd sit downn

ew cormac stop eating profiteroles so suggestively ugh

haa rons outfit

ew lavender stopp

oh yes "felix felicis" makes ron great at quidditch

poor hermione she just loves ron thats all

aw hermione and harrys friendship is so nice

angsty draco standing in a tower

"bUt I aM tHe ChOsEn OnE" god harry so pretentious

luna is the coolest person there is, nice work harry

draco in a suit again looking sad he does that a lot

no draco ur apple!

oh nvm its back dw

ugh cormac sucks.  hermione why??

at least cormac did 1 good thing and vomited on snapes shoes

draco was lurking omgggg thats his vibe now

cant break an unbreakable vow - figured that out for myself thanks (sassy harry)

ew lavender stopppp

ooh noo ginny dont feed him a mince pie awkwarddd

thanks ron

stoppp ginny. harry can tie his own shoelaceee

why do they need to burn the burrow this doesnt happen in the books #not canon

wow everyones sassy including hermione now

also lav is an awful nicknname

aha tom riddle is still creepy

okay thats a lie slughorn u told him about horcruxes

uh oh ron loves romilda vane oop

harry thinks the moon is divine haha

Ron hugging a pillow then falling off the sofa in the background oh my gosh

slughorn is so useless

haha snapes face while rons saying hermiones name

draco being edgy again woowwww

lavender that is a death glare if ever i saw one

oh no draco is crying in a bathroom now like a moody teenager

let him cry in peace harry god man

'nyaaah' is dracos go to dueling sound

oops harry u kinda killed him a little bit.

no this is so awkwarddd ginny dont

just kiss like in the books after the quidditch match thats way better

yes the felix felicis

love harry potter like this its so funny

‘harry!’ ‘sir!’

not to mention the pincers *gestures awkwardly*

nice speech harry, now u have answers on the horcruxes

ooh back to tom riddle being creepy

yas harry and dumbledore field trip quality student teacher time

snape being edgy now wow everyone is in this movie

oops foreshadowing...

harry has precious blood apparently?

yay boat ride and smoothie

harry potter not harry water bro

noo bad just aguamenti right into his mouth Harry

yay new friends!!!

dumbledore ur gonna set harry on  fire careful my dude

ooh death eaterz

did draco change intot hat suit to impress the death eaters?

oop bye dumbledore

harry brooding in dumbledores office

yess RAB get wrecked voldemort

harry ur thick apparently?

aw cute friendship

Deathly Hallows Pt. 1

rusty logo wow

‘ello whoo are u

oh scrimgeour hi i dislike u dude

veey dramatic

aaawww hermione no

yas dudley being nice to harry and vernon listening to him and leaving

ron brooding wow

bye parents sad face

wow vernons old man

ooh its snapeee he looks loke he has a lot of contpur on

yay snape has a savey seat

pius is a great name

uh oh i dont wanna give u my wand voldy

dracos face haha

ugh do they have to watch nagini eat professor burbage gross

the dursleys house looks so empty

yay the cupboard happy memories and his baby toys cuteee

moody thinks that harrys gorgeous.

yay remus and tonksss

shut up mundungus

blimey hermionee

'just trying to diffuse the tension' hahaha lol

wow so many harrys lol

yh  wouldnt want to go in the motorbike tbh

uh oh death eaters

wow parkour harry

nooo hedwig - the saddest bit of this movie

yo voldemort wassup

oops the pylons fell down... just fly away good idea

nooo george's ear

jeez lupin y are u being crazy dude

george is saint like and holy aw so cute brother moments

uh oh bye moody u were a bit creepy tbh

ha lol harry a lot of people are going to die for u

harry stop being moody omg

wow george way to ruin the vibe dude

yo minister leave pls

ron just being ungrateful - u can turn out lights now ron lucky u

yay hermione you get a childrens book thats great

wow a snitch lucky u harry. hes so pleased with that. little does he know.... its a resurrection stone bro

give him the sword man

yay nice wedding

luna interrupting deep thoughts casually

xenophilius is creepy

ron and hermione staring at each other is a mood.

way to crash a wedding dude

hermione is the most competent out of all three it has to be said

i really want that bag of hermiones

shouldnt have said voldemory now the death eaters are here whoops

"hermione" *strokes face awkwardly*

sassy harry yas

oh yes grimmauld place

oof voldys having wand struggles

hi kreacher please leave ur creepy thanks

aw siriuzz room so cute sad hes dead

regulus arcturus black yay

ugh mundungus fletcher u suck dude

aw neville

oh no pie dude is the minister if magic now

uh shut up umbridge

feel like u dont need that many posters

sentimental piano playing wow

yo dobbyyyy

umbridge ruins everything omg

ron - u dont have a wife

haha harry getting out of the lift and walking in such a weird wayyy bahahaha

ew umbridge has moodys eye groosss

yas the ugly plates are still in her office

oops ron u just kissed that random dudez wife

nice suit harry

ouch splinch

lovely tent

kill the locket dude

dean thomas is on the run ooh fancy

yh harry stop letting voldemort in dude

harry stop being so moody bro

ooh watch snape on the map thats not creepy.

oh no snatchers...

ah u almost got caught dudes

ron ur so weak wow cant apparate or anything

lot of missing people...

haha a quarantine haircut

yes hermione ur brilliant

oh god ron stop chill

bye ron i guess lol

poor hermione

yas awkward dancing timee

awkward stares

kissy for the snitch. he must really miss ginny

uh oh its opening at the closee

vfd!!! an eyee!!!

ooh godrics hollowwww

oop its christmas eve whoopssss

oh a deathly Hallows

parents grave yay!

ur bathilda? nope im a snake boiii

bathilda is 1 creepy lady

what are u saying my dude????

ew snake lady

chaira are good defences agaunst snakes definitely

ah she jumped at them

looks like a nice campsite

wow now hermiones being sentimental

oop she sat on harrys wand

wait nvm

oooh a doe a deer a female deer

dont drown harry that would be awkward

omgbharry stop undressing

oof the locket strangling him

yay ron saved him yas dude

ron kill the horcrux

u tell him hermione

nice ron tell them u have been hearing voices

yes go see xenophilius the crazy dudee

aw ron ur so awkwsrd bro

their house is so cute

shut up ron god

yay we know about the deathly hallows now

xenophilius is so suspicious tho

why would you say his nameeee

noo snatchers

ooo ominous malfoy manor

draco dont doo ittt

yay dobby!

ah no hermione

aw draco looks sad in his little loki suit

yay dobby 'maiming and seriously injuring'

nooo dobby! he deserved so much better 😭

"hey guys welcome back to my unboxing video today we are opening dumbledores grave"

yay the elder wand wow

giving away ur position a bit dude by shooting stuff in the air

Deathly Hallows Pt. 2

snape hi ur brooding

lots of dementys

dramatic music

waaa dobby

yay bill and fleur

yo griphook what up

the sword was in a river bro

madam lestrange? no!

oops thats not dracos wand anymore wowww

wands are just like 'ya hiiii we have feelings too'

oop ollivander knows about the elder wand bros

ron looks great with a moustache tho

harry just broke the law jeez...

wow that cart looks fun

wow they fell from the cart nice

oh no ron broke the law too whoops

yay a dragon

lots of gold nice

yay the cup

oops they messed up nkw everything is multiplyinggg

griphook y are u evil my dude

yay ride a dragon

oops they fell no

yas they escaped

uh oh voldemort is onto them

that's a lot of dead people

oh no everyones looking for them

ah aberforth hi!

the other part of harry's mirror!

oop dumbledore was a secretive dude

ariana yas

neville!

i love neville hes so great now

yay all of the DA

luna!

ginny is being awkward

'shut up seamus' hhaha

aaa snape yooo

snape stop being a meanie

stop being angry harry

yas queen! mcgonagall!!!!

yay

uh oh voldemort is whispering to harry again

stop voldemort you need a cough sweet

yes everyone protect him

haha filch is a blithering idiot wow

i love mcgonagall

run harry

boom! seamus blow stuff up!

yay the knight peeps

uh yes theyre protecting harry and everyone

yes luna is so smart and iconic

go talk to a ghost harry

thats a lot of death eaters

go away voldemort no one likes u

yes go stab a crown harry

yay remus

fred and george aw

ron fake parseltonguing lol

nooo quidditch

lol peeps got disintegrated

go hermione stab the cup

yessss kisss!!!!

tonks and remus together wow

wow i hate voldemort's bald head with the weird veins

run neville!

yay ginny and neville

yay a little kiss for harry!

ooh the room of requirement

edgy draco back at it again

ooh the diadem

no dracooo

yh draco y didnt u give harry away?

aw ron loves hermione

uh oh fireee

nice work goyle

bye crabbe lol

yay hes saving draco

nice killed the tiara

oops voldemorts getting angry

snapes gonna dies dudes

runnnnn guys

lavenders being eaten

yay aberforth

yeet snapes dying

gosh naginis violent

“ew snape sorry i dont like u even tho u loved my mum” - what harry should have said

woops bye snape

freds death is too sad

nooo remus and tonks

go watch snapes life my dude

yess the always bit (i dont like snape but its iconic)

poor harry

its so sad that hes just sacrificing himself

his eye contact with ron omg im cryinggg

ooh yay his familyyy

he should have said 'its muffin time’ to the resurrection stone and it would be like 'cool bro here's your dead family'

u got this harry

yay teddy mention

"until the end" yas james

lets do this harry

wow voldemort why are you standing like a weirdo

yes harry be a brave man

byee harryyyy

oooh hes alive still

hi dumbledore

yes harry is a brave brave man

cool explain it to him dumbledore

bye dumbledoreeee

wow voldy u weakk bro

yas dracos alive get off me

aw neville u got this man

voldy yeeted that dead giant wow

ew snakey boi

nooo hes dead waa

poor draco such an awkward hug

oop neville what?

ok ur just making a speech that fine carry on

voldys very polite for a villain

yay harrys alive

haha dieee

run lucius wow

oof destroying the school harry really

naginis coming run hermione

u got dis neville

noo ron

yes molly!!!

y r u hugging dudes u arent friends... did u forget? oops..

ouch

bye snake boiii

neville is so iconic omg

kill him HARRY

noice

haha disintegrate voldemort

byeee

dont breathe in voldemort guys

wow harrys a mess

yay hagrid

hermione and ron are so sweet aw

harry yeet the wand

wow draco owns the wand and now harry has it

YEET

aw the friendship

yess 19 years later

wow that hair harry

all of their haircuts are tragic tbh...

should be albus remus potter... just sayinggg

THE END DUDESSSSS

#pls read #unfortunately this is basically my stream of consciousness #i think like that #idk #philosophers stone #chamber of secrets #prisoner of azkaban #goblet of fire #order of the phoenix #half blood prince #deathly hallows #harry potter #harry potter movie marathon #ron weasley #hermione granger #albus dumbledore #voldemort

[hellyeahheroes]

Best Ongoing Team Books of 2018 - In text because I cannot make it in video

Okay, so my mic is broken, I have barely time to make it work with how many ever hours I’m working recently, so screw it. Last part of my promised list is long overdue anyway, so I’ll just drop it as a text. Apologies for this but yeah, sometimes stuff just piles up. I hope you’ll still enjoy my picks and check the 3 parts that made it to the video

Welcome to Best Books of 2018, the long-awaited final part. I’m terribly sorry it took me so, so terribly long but I had been forced to take many over hours at my day job and it just ate in my time. The rules are as before. The book must still be ongoing in 2018, even if only for a single issue. It also must have more than two issues published in two thousand eighteen. However, if a book got relaunched as effectively the same title, they count as one. This time we’re doing team books. So if you can, go check those titles out at your local store.

Number Ten: Super Sons and its continuation, Adventures of the Super Sons. Work of writers Peter Tomasi and Patrick Gleason with artwork by Carlo Barberi with issue twelve of the first series draw by Tyler Kirkham. Super Sons continue to be an absolute joy. The greatest asset of this story is that Jon and Damian are written as a pair of actual kids, with behavior we would find too childish with other people but appropriate with them. Which only adds charm to an already book that captures joys of being a kid and going on adventures and that embraces silver age weirdness with all kinds of strange stuff, from a bunch of alien kids idealizing Earth supervillains and modeling themselves after them to an alien versions of Cain and Abel and their House of Secret Mysteries. It is a book that you can just pick up, relax and enjoy, lose yourself in fluffy fun. Its time is limited as Adventures is just a mini but I think if there is one title on this list that is just pure escapism, bar themes touched in an issue where our heroes meet their future selves, it is this one.

Number Nine: House of Whispers by writer Nalo Hopkins and artist Domonike Stanton. One of my favorite out of the new Sandman Universe books, it tells a story of a spell gone wrong that results in the tied fate of goddess Erzulie from Vodou religion and girl named Latoya. The former ends up trapped in the Dreaming, cut from her worshippers and desperately needing to come back before she starves without worship. The latter loses her soul in the same accident and now is affected by Cotard’s delusion, a mental disorder that makes a living person believe they’re dead and worse, she can spread it like an infection. While absolutely fantastic with the weaved narrative I will say that at the time it might be even too heavy as the parts that deal with people affected by the delusion, especially Latoya and her girlfriend Maggie, often feel so outright depressing I had to put the book down and take a break. It is not a bad thing, not every comic book has to just make you feel entertained, especially not one aiming at evoking different emotions. But I need to recommend this one with a warning it is not for everyone as people who already feel down might only feel worse. Still, if you are looking for a book either heavily using themes from religion by far underexplored by literature and pop culture in a respectful way or for a book that might leave you shaken and made think, appreciate your life even, this is a book for you.

Number Eight is a tie: Justice League Dark by writer James Tynion the Fourth and artists Alvaro Martinez and Daniel Sampere as well as Justice League Odyssey by writer Joshua Williamson and artists Stjepan Sejic and Philipe Briones. Two of the new Justice League titles have their problems, I’ll admit it. The main villain in Justice League Dark comes off as invincible for the sake of it and the establishment of the Sisterhood of the Sleight hand only to destroy it rubs me the wrong way and Odyssey feels to have missed its impact moment due to delays and artist change. However, both books are still excellent in what they set to do, opening this new age in Justice League books and bringing them back to the flagship role. Be it dark atmosphere of JLD that isn’t mitigated by inclusion of either Detective Chimp or Wonder Woman, in fact it is a stroke of genius to have her confront the darker side of magic, or the outlandish space opera of Odyssey, with super likable cast playing game of cat and mouse with Darkseid himself, the books do bring new to the table and truly make the Justice League currently one of the strongest if not the strongest lines in the big two.

Number Seven: Rogue & Gambit and its continuation Mr & Mrs. X by writer Kelly Thompson and artist Pere Perez on the former and Oscar Balduza and David Lopez. I’m counting it as one book even if an important part, the wedding, took place in a different title and was fairly controversial. But Kelly Thompson has really shown that she feels the two and their relationship and uses as much of their history as possible to build on and inform said relationship. It is in how natural it comes off as, how strong their bond is but also how unafraid of testing it through their adventures Kelly Thompson is that really makes this book so unique. With the cancellation of X-Men: Red and Exiles and with how Uncanny X-Men and Age of X-Man seem in a contest who can drop more balls, this book is now the best ongoing in the X-Line and you will be doing yourself a disservice if you won’t check it out.

Number Six: Justice League by writers Scott Snyder and James Tynion the Fourth and artists Jim Cheung, Jorge Jimenez, Doug Mankhe, Mike Janin, Francis Manapul, Fazer Irving and Guillem March. This book decided to bring the Justice League back to its greatness and to my great surprise, it succeeded. Scott Snyder’s over the top imagination is a perfect fit for this title and in just a few issues he proved he is not afraid of breaking established boundaries and showing us that cosmology of DC Universe is much greater and more amazing than we might have thought, that everything we thought we know hides more secrets and there is always a new adventure right behind the corner. It asks important questions that, while not intended to be political, by Snyder’s own admission, I feel are still questions about life, a current state of the world and our expectations and ourselves. Upon seeing how flawed the world is, how flawed other people are, how flawed, in the end, we ourselves are, what is a correct course of action? Deny it and try to grind yourself into the idea of perfection you want to be even if it is impossible? Embrace your worst and care only about yourself? Or accept you have flaws, that you feel pain and trauma and realize you can still be a good person regardless? That is the theme of Justice League that makes me enjoy this book so much.

Also, they have hired Ferdinand the Minotaur to work at their cafeteria, that’s awesome.

Number Five: The Dreaming by writer Simon Spurrier and artist Bilquis Evely. The Dreaming is in peril. Dream of Endless has left his dominion, there is a hole in it through which strange things come, citizens find themselves in state of unrest and all beloved characters, from Lucien and Matthew to Merv Pumpkinhead and Eve to Cain and Abel are set on a course that will challenge them and will change them in unexpected ways, all while old faces like Glob and Brute come back and new ones like mysterious Dora and merciless Judge Gallows leave their mark on the place. The Dreaming plays with obvious political undertones but on a meta sense, it is another case of what Simon Spurrier is driven to do, to deconstruct the darker corners of comics and try to explore questions of responsibility and morality through it like he did with Legion and X-Force. This new, heavier, darker take on the Dreaming sucked me in instantly and I really hope the ride Spurrier has prepared for us is a long one.

Number Four: Exiles by writer Saladin Ahmed and artists Javier Rodrigues, Rod Reis and Joe Quinones. Exiles had another short-living comeback and it saddens me to see that it has already been cancelled, though not before qualifying on this list. I love Exiles as a series and a concept and the return with all-new cast and Blink was a welcome one. With adventures that are in equal parts fun and serious and characters with such amazing charm as a cartoon kid Wolverine or Valkyrie. What’s more is that the book had such amazing creative artwork, with Rodriguez especially giving it his all and creating some amazing visuals that truly matched increasingly crazier visions that Ahmed has weaved in front of him through the script. This was a top-notch creative team that I sure hope we’ll see them team-up once again on another project in the future. Meanwhile, while brief it it was still a pleasure to come back to this team of weirdos and outcasts hopping between dimensions, one crazier than the other.

Number Three: Wild Storm by writer Warren Ellis and artist John Davis Hunt. Now here is a book that benefits from its stated twenty four issues run. Wild Storm is a slow burn. But it is by far one of the most glorious slow burns in the history of comics. Ellis continues to create a gritty narrative that combines aliens, conspiracies, secret agencies, technological inventions and movie-like decompressed storytelling into a chilling, dark story that absolutely dominates with the atmosphere. The vision of Wildstorm Universe Ellis and Hunt created for us is absolutely captivating and the feel of the world at the verge of total war between two agencies that long time ago stopped caring for common folk, while Jacob Marlowe, Jenny Sparks, and John Lynch, each in their own way, race to stop them or deal with problems they unleash, is unlike any other. There is plain and simply no other book like this on the shelves right now and it is very unlikely there will be such a book soon after it ends.

Number Two: The Terrifics by writer Jeff Lemire and artists Ivan Reis, Evan Doc Sharner, Joe Bennett, Dale Eaglesham. Out of all New Age of Heroes Books this is undeniably the best one. A loving tribute to the original Fantastic Four stories that finds a new quality through use of characters that may fill similar archetypes but are different enough that each brings their own thing to the table, creating new dynamics that liven up known narratives while at the same time the artists manage to get creative, especially the issue that divides each page into a sort of camera following each of the four protagonists one panel per person and uniting them and dividing as they join together or split up, pushing the very boundaries of graphic storytelling as we know it. It is also a book full of warmth and joy and optimism we often do not see in books like that. It is truly a title that has a heart and imagination on its side and it is using them to their full potential.

Honorable Mentions: West Coast Avengers, Champions, Teen Titans

And our Number One is Runaways by writer Rainbow Rowell and artists Kris Anka and David Lafuente. It couldn’t be anything else. Runaways this year was plain and simply the best book on the shelves. Kris Anka’s beautiful art brings to life Rainbow Rowell amazing heart for these characters as she lets them face new challenges in their lives, creating story if teenagers at the verge of adulthood as they try to wrestle less with supervillains and more with their own fears and insecurities and this feeling of childhood and innocence lost for superhero life they never wanted, all as they try to rebuild and maintain their family. It is a story where greatest victories are not supervillain battles, which they seem to win by a fluke most of the time anyway, but to take a step forward, overcome your fear and doubt and admit to yourself that yes, you are worthy of happiness and you will be happy. In that Runaways is without a doubt the book that speaks to me the most and one I wait for every month. I cannot recommend this book enough.

So here are my final picks. I’m exhausted. I will say that recently all stuff in my life made working on the videos harder, especially now that i’m trying, against any better reason to record myself  and I might not be able to do it as regularly. I might think of reinventing the format and maybe relegate the channel to a different role in relation to my blog, which I think is by now much more popular. I still have learned a lot in that time of doing these videos and I wish to continue, maybe with a more focused vision. Thank you all for being so long with me and putting up with my nosense and rest assured, I shall return.

- Admin

#Runaways #The Terrifics #Wild Storm #Exiles #the Dreamind #Justice League #Rogue & Gambit #mr. and mrs. x #Justice League Dark #Justice League Odyssey #House of Whispers #Super Sons #Adventures of the Super Sons #Marvel #DC #Vertigo #Sandman Universe #Dark Matter #New Age of DC Heroes

[seriestrash]

A Christmas Movie Miracle

❄ Day Two ❄

A/N: **Complete AU** Riley and Lucas have never met! Zay and Lucas moved to NYC for college.

Summary: Riley is on a mission to find Auggie a very specific toy. After the brunette wanders into the toy shop Lucas works at, he sets out on an adventure to help Riley fulfil her wish list. 

Word Count: 3634

❄ ❄

It’s the day before Christmas Eve and a twenty-one year old Riley and Maya have been all over the city looking for a present for Auggie. Riley has spent months trying to find this very specific gift but she’s had no such luck.

They’re currently in a vintage toy store looking around. Maya is pretty tired from all this effort and no results but Riley is still determined.

“Riles, maybe we should just find him something else.” Maya suggests lightly.

“No Maya, it has to be this.” Riley says dramatically.

“We’ve checked every toy store in the city, new and old and we’ve had no such luck. They just don’t make Mister Googly toys anymore.” Maya sighs.

“I know, Maya.” Riley snaps. “But this is our first Christmas without mom and dad and Auggie needs Mister Googly!”

“Okay, Riles I’m sorry.” Maya gives her an apologetic smile. “We’ll keep looking.”

“I’m sorry.” Riley softens.

"It’s okay, Riles.” Maya says genuinely and she makes sure to hold her gaze so Riley knows she understands.

“I’m just hoping for a Christmas miracle like in the movies.” Riley sighs as her eyes scan the shelves of once loved toys. “You know, the ones where everything is okay in the end?”

“Yeah and add in a ridiculously fast tracked love story.” Maya scoffs. “You’ve made me watch three movies this week where the couple say I love you after two days.”

“It’s sweet.” Riley coaxes her head.

Maya crinkles her nose in mock disgust but quickly breaks with a smile. “I’m going to ask someone at the counter if they know the toy or not. Why don’t you look in that bucket of stuffed animals?” Maya suggest and Riley nods. The brunette walks towards the big cylindrical bucket and starts sifting through the plush toys.

Maya approaches the counter where there’s a guy sat with his feet up reading a magazine.

“Ahem.” The blonde clears her throat loudly and the store clerk looks up from the pages. Once he meets the pretty blue eyes of Maya his attention was all hers.

“Well hello, Miss.” He grins wide. “I sure hope I can help you today.”

“Zay.” Maya reads his tag, “I don’t have time for games. I’d like to know if you have a Mister Googly plush toy in this store anywhere?”

“A Mister what?” Zay questions with crinkled brows. 

Maya lets out a frustrated sigh. “The little monster from that old kids show. He’s fluffy, he’s blue, and he’s made just for you, he’s your foogly boogly best friend.” Maya sings the little jingle. 

“That’s adorable.” Zay says with a smirk. 

Maya was beyond done before even entering this store but now she was just annoyed with Zay’s less than helpful flirting. Maya reaches forward and grabs a tuff of Zay’s shirt. She yanks him forward and holds his stare, “I’ll tell you what’s adorable, finding me that stupid toy monster. You see that pretty little brunette behind me? She’s my best friend in the whole wide world and if she wants a Mister Googly toy than I’m going to find her a goddamn Mister Googly toy!”

Meanwhile, Riley’s searching through the stuffed toy bucket when she’s approached by an employee that looks about her age. "May I help you with anything, Miss?" 

Riley meets his green eyes and gives him a shy smile. She notices his tag reads ‘Lucas’. "I’m looking for a Mister Googly doll.”

“Like that kids show from a while back?” Lucas questions.

Riley nods and pulls out her phone, she brings up a picture of Auggie when he was younger and she zooms in on his beloved toy.

“I’m sorry, I don’t recall us having any of those in store We had one a few months back but it sold.” Lucas frowns and when Riley’s face drops he really wishes he could have told her he did have the toy. “I’m sorry.” He says again. 

Riley’s halfway through telling Lucas it’s alright when she hears the scuffle Maya was in with Zay. 

“Oh no.” Riley shrieks as she looks at Maya with a tuff of the other employees shirt in her hand.

“Oh wow.” Lucas says now looking over at it too and they both scurry towards their respective best friends. 

“Maya stop!” Riley calls over and the blonde releases Zay with a sigh. 

“You know her?” Lucas asks.

“She’s my best friend.” Riley says simply.

“He’s mine.” Lucas adds in the same manner. 

“Maya you can’t go around roughing up the employees of every toy store we visit!” She quietly reprimands her friend. 

“Well lover boy over here wasn’t being very helpful.” Maya folds her arms. 

“In my defence you didn’t really give me a chance-” Zay stops when Maya shoots him a mean glare. “A chance to be helpful!” He defends. 

“It’s alright, Maya they don’t have it.” Riley says solemnly and again it hurts Lucas to see this stranger like that. 

“Have you tried Tim’s toys on-” 

“Yep.” Riley nods. 

“Toy empori-” 

“Yes.” Riley nods again. “We’ve scoured every toy store in New York City and had no luck. I think I should just give up.” 

“But Riles, what about your Christmas miracle?” Maya wears a frown. 

Riley just shrugs sadly and turns to the two employees. “Thank you for your help.” 

The girls only get a few steps away before Lucas calls out for them to wait. They stop and turn their attention back to the Texan. 

“I know a guy who comes in from Cape May, he collects toys.” Lucas says. 

“Weirdo.” Maya mumbles under her breath but Zay heard and chuckles. 

Lucas heard too so he gives a simple explanation. “He collects and sells them for profit. If you just wait a second I can call him and ask if he knows where you could get a Mister Googly doll?” Lucas poses it as a question to gauge if she’d even be interested in that. 

“You’d do that?” Riley’s eyes sparkle with hope. “Thank you so much.” 

Lucas steps off to the side for a minute and calls his contact. He returns to tell Riley that he does have a Mister Googly doll that he’s selling but she’d have to go to Cape May to pick it up because he won’t have time to post it nor would she even get it on time if he could. 

“Cape May is nearly a six hour round trip and probably even longer on the bus.” Riley frowns. 

“Lucas has a car!” Zay chimes in and his best friend gives him a concerned ‘what are you doing?’ look. “Lucas, let the nice ladies borrow your car.” Zay adds with his trademark smirk. 

“Borrow my car?” Lucas laughs. 

“We can’t borrow his car.” Riley laughs too. 

“We also can’t drive.” Maya says truthfully. 

“Lucas, drive the nice ladies to Cape May.” Zay says in the same positive tone he used when talking about lending the car to them. 

“No.” Riley shakes her head. “No thank you.” 

“Riles, you should go!” Maya is surprisingly supportive of the idea. “I promised my parents I’d endure a Santa photo with the mini Hunters this afternoon but you can go.” 

Both Riley and Lucas tug each of their best friends off to different sides. 

“Zay, what are you doing?” Lucas asks him quietly. 

“You’re clearly into her.” Zay says. “I’m being a good wingman!” 

“What makes you think I’m into her?” Lucas scoffs and he’s honestly not fooling anyone. 

“The second that pretty brunette looked at you with those sad eyes you just had to save her. You want to help her, so help her!” Zay says. “It’s not like we’re doing anything exciting for Christmas.” 

Over with the girls, Riley’s giving Maya a quizzical look. “What are you doing?” 

“I’m helping you find Auggie’s gift like I promised.” Maya says simply. 

“You’re trying to get me to go on a road trip with a stranger.” Riley eyes her. “He could be a serial killer or something!” 

“He’s a harmless Huckleberry.” Maya swats the air. “You yourself said you want the Christmas movie miracle, this is it! A stranger who’s going to help you get the gift you’ve spent months searching for.” 

Both Riley and Lucas seem to be swayed by their respective friends arguments and when they all meet in the middle together they just nervously look at each other. 

“I couldn’t ask you to drive nearly six hours for me.” Riley shakes her head. 

“You don’t have to ask.” Lucas says. “I want to help.” 

“Really?” Riley asks dubiously. 

“Really.” Lucas nods. 

“Okay. Sure.. Why not?” Riley laughs in disbelief that she was about to embark on this adventure with a complete stranger. 

“Zay can cover my shift here and we can go now if you’re ready?” Lucas asks. 

“Yeah I’m ready.” Riley nods. 

As the two get ready to leave Maya stops Lucas. “Just checking that you’re not a serial killer, right?” 

“No Ma’am.” Lucas laughs. 

“Good. Cause if you lay a finger on Riley, I will hurt Zay far worse than you could ever imagine.” Maya says seriously. 

“You have nothing to worry about.” Lucas says nervously. For such a small girl she sure was scary. “But I think Zay should be afraid..” 

“I kinda like her.” Zay admits with a smirk and Maya rolls her eyes again but she’s trying really hard to suppress her smile. 

Lucas leads Riley to where his car is parked. Riley’s feeling anxious about the situation, not that she felt in danger but she could be awkward around new people if she overthinks things which she was currently doing. 

There is awkward small talk for the first twenty minutes of the drive. Like Lucas asking which radio station she’d like to listen to and him checking if the heating in his car was warm enough or not. 

Finally Lucas decides to address the awkwardness head on. “This is weird right?” 

“Totally weird.” Riley says with a relieved breath that he brought it up. “I mean I am so appreciative that you’re helping me - on Christmas Eve of all days! - but we don’t even know each other.” 

“Okay then, let’s change that.” Lucas says. “Let’s play twenty questions?” 

“Alright.” Riley gives a single nod. “You ask first.” 

“Okay.” Lucas thinks for a moment. “Have you always lived in the city?” 

“Yes, I was born here and I go to Columbia University so I’ve stayed.” Riley answers. 

“Ivy League. Nice.” Lucas says in an impressed tone. “Okay, your turn.” 

“You’re from Texas?” Riley questions. 

“Yes, Zay and I both are.” Lucas explains. “We attend NYU together.” 

Twenty questions was the perfect way to defuse the awkward tension in the air. They very quickly establish an open line of communication and the back and forth questions fade out without either of them noticing and suddenly they’re just discussing parts of their lives with each other. 

After nearly two hours of driving Lucas asks something that changes the mood. “I feel like I haven’t asked the obvious question.” 

“What’s that?” Riley asks. 

“Why does this particular toy mean so much to you?” Lucas questions.

Riley shrinks into the passenger seat slightly. “It’s important to my little brother Auggie, he accidentally donated his childhood one to Good Will at he beginning of the year.” Riley gives only half of her true explanation.

“How old is your little brother?” Lucas asks.

“Sixteen.” Riley says and she looks directly out the windscreen. 

“Older than I was expecting.” Lucas thinks aloud.

“It was a gift from our parents when he was little.” Riley says still keeping her gaze forward. “We lost them both just after New Years in a car accident.”

“Oh Riley, I’m so sorry.” Lucas is shocked and genuinely upset for the girl. 

Riley just shrugs a shoulder. “My Uncle Shawn moved into our apartment with his wife and two youngest children - Maya’s family - It was so I didn’t have to stop going to college.” Riley explains, “But I still feel responsible for him.” 

“You’re his big sister.” Lucas says in an understanding way.  

Riley nods. “I used to have this bear when I was little, Auggie bit the face off him but I still loved it more than anything because my parents gave him to me.” Riley half smiles. “When I was about fifteen, Beary the Bear Bear went missing and I tore our whole apartment to shreds looking for him but he was gone. I was devastated then and that was long before the accident and I’d still do absolutely anything to have my faceless teddy bear back.” Riley looks to Lucas for a second and he looks back at her for a moment before they both break to look down the road ahead. “Mister Googly is Auggie’s Beary the Bear Bear. It might not be his exact one but I’ll do anything to get one back for him.” 

“Well you’re in luck.” Lucas says with a small smile. “We’re going to get you that monster and you’re going to be home in time for dinner.” 

Riley gives Lucas a small smile but then gazes out the window for a while as the thought of her childhood memories made her miss her parents. 

Shortly after, Lucas stops for some gas and buys a few snacks for the road. They make it to Cape May just after half two. The pair chat out front of Bill’s [Lucas’ contact] building whilst they wait for him to come back from work. 

Once Bill finally arrives he lets them up into his apartment which is filled with toys, thus giving the place a creepily eerie feel. Subconsciously Riley sticks close to Lucas whilst they’re in there. The man goes off into another room to retrieve the toy and Riley and Lucas both exchange funny glances to communicate that they’re both just as weirded out as the other in that apartment. Their gazes are broken when Bill seems to be having an argument with someone. Moments later he returns to the living space with a red face. He explains that his roommate sold the Mister Googly whilst he was at work. 

When Riley hears this, she’s absolutely crushed. She’d just driven nearly three hours under the false security that she had finally found the gift she was searching for. 

Bill is sympathetic to the couple for driving so far and he tries his very best to help them out. He offers them a hot beverage each whilst he calls a few of his contacts and tries to source them another Mister Googly. 

Finally Bill finds one. “I have a guy in Dover, New Hampshire, he’s got the exact doll you’re looking for in perfect condition.” 

“Dover?” Riley frowns. “That’s nearly an ten hour round trip on the other side of New York.” 

“How important is it to have for Christmas Day?” Bill questions. 

“Very.” Riley’s frown remains. 

“The best I can think of is priority shipping on the 27th or if you were to drive and pick it up.. You might be tired but I think you’ll make it.” 

“I’m supposed to take Auggie ice skating after dinner.” Riley chews nervously on her bottom lip. 

Lucas thanks Bill even though he was annoyed that Bill messed them around a little and he takes the other collectors details so they can work out their plan of attack in the car. 

“I’m just going to have to give it to Auggie late.” Riley says sadly. 

“I know that kind of sucks but you will be giving it to him.” Lucas says encouragingly. “And I know I don’t know him but I imagine Auggie would rather you be home for Christmas than given the perfect gift.” 

Riley gives Lucas a small smile and they set off for New York. Lucas tries to lift the mood by poorly singing along to Christmas carols on the radio and it works for a while but the closer they got to New York the more upset Riley felt about returning empty handed. 

Lucas drops Riley off at her apartment building and apologises that things didn’t work out the way they hoped. She tries to fake a warm smile as she thanks him for his efforts and even though she genuinely was thankful she failed at masking the disappointment. Lucas just sits and watches her sadly walk inside and he absolutely hated that. He looks at the collectors information that sat on a piece of paper on his dashboard and he thinks for a moment… Could he? 

The following day is Christmas and Riley was still bummed about her gift being late but she was happy to spend time with Auggie and the Hunters. Their first Christmas since losing their parents was always going to be tough but it did really bond them together as siblings. Also having Maya there to lean on helped and the excitement of her younger siblings being true Santa believers really gave Riley a lot to enjoy throughout the day. 

Katy was preparing a big lunch for the family when she realised she was out of eggs. Riley offers to go down to the bakery - which is now under Katy’s full-time management - and collects some. She makes Auggie tag along with her so they can regroup for a moment away from the Hunters whom - as sweet as they were being - were completely smothering the Matthews children as they tried to make this holiday less upsetting without Cory and Topanga. 

Whilst Riley is out Lucas pulls back up to Riley’s apartment. He gets to the buzzer and realises he doesn’t know what number she is so he just hits random ones and asks whomever answers. Each time he apologises for interrupting their day and wishes them a Merry Christmas. 

“Lucas?” Riley’s asks surprised as she approaches with a carton of eggs in hand. 

Lucas finishes apologising to the person on the other end of the intercom and excitedly steps towards Riley and the boy he assumes is her teen brother.

“What are you doing here?” She asks with a confused look. 

“Special delivery.” Lucas says as he picks up a present he sat down when he was using the intercom. 

She gives him a dubious look like surely he didn’t…

“Auggie Matthews I assume?” He turns to the teen. 

“Yes…” Auggie is confused about the situation too. 

Lucas hands the gift wrapped box to Riley and gives her a nod. She gives Lucas another look like she can’t believe what’s happening but at the same time she was so thankful it was. 

“Auggie this is for you.” Riley says and suddenly she’s nervous for his reaction. 

“But you already got me a ton of gifts.” Auggie coaxes his head. Riley had got him a ton of gifts, whilst she was searching for this particular present she had complied others she thought he may like too. 

“This one is one I wanted to give you most.” Riley says as she wiggles the box, begging him to open it. 

Auggie unwraps the gift and is at a loss for words when he pulls out a Mister Googly doll. He’s so genuinely touched by the gift but he tries to play it off as cool because he didn’t want to be a weeping sixteen year old boy. Riley notices his struggle so she helps bail him out. 

“Why don’t you take these eggs up to Katy and help with lunch? I’ll be up in a minute.”

He nods and goes to enter the building but stops to give Riley a tight embrace. "Thanks, Riles.”

“You’re welcome, Augs.” Riley whispers as she hugs him back. After they part Auggie coughs to shake off the feels and heads inside. 

Riley turns to Lucas with a look of disbelief on her face. “Did you really drive to Dover for Mister Googly?” 

“I did it for you.” Lucas chews on his bottom lip. 

“You already drove me to Cape May and back… and then you drove to Dover and back on your own?” 

“I made Zay come with me this time.” Lucas shrugs like it’s no big deal. “I slept a little bit first so it was responsible.” Lucas adds cutely. 

“But why?” Riley questions. “You met me all of twenty-four hours ago. Why go to all this trouble?”

"Maybe it’s because it’s the season of giving… Or maybe it’s because I think you’re really pretty and sweet and I just wanted to see you smile…” Lucas gushes. “I just wish I could have brought you your faceless teddy bear back too.”

Riley leans forward and closes the space between their lips with a soft kiss. When they part lucas is left with a smile on his face and his eyes remain closed for a moment. Once they open slowly he asks, "What was that for?”

“Thank you.” Riley says wearing a sweet smile of her own.

“Do you thank everyone like that?” Lucas lets out a breathy laugh.

Riley rolls her head forward with a quiet giggle. “Do you want to come inside for lunch?” Riley asks after meeting Lucas’ gaze again. “Or some coffee at least you must be exhausted from all that driving.”

“Auggie won’t mind?” Lucas asks and he’s still reeling from their kiss. 

“I’ve practically smothered him all day, he’ll welcome the distraction.” Riley laughs. 

“Well in that case, I’d like that very much.” Lucas grins. “But Zay’s kind of waiting in the car…” 

“Go get him.” Riley smiles. “Let him come in and bug Maya or something.”

“It is the time for togetherness.” Lucas shrugs innocently and Riley smiles. 

Maybe it was a miracle or fate or the universes will, but whatever it was, Riley was thankful that she walked into that toy store yesterday. 

End Notes: I know I said I was going to post my one shot about the do good foundation but it’s over 6000 words long so I thought I might save that for now!! Anyway! I hope you enjoyed this one shot ! My apologies Cory and Topanga RIP. Also a lil bit of Zaya for you dears dskjlhg

here’s the anon that inspired this piece; 

I’ll see you lovelys tomorrow! 

#rucas #rucas au #rucas fic

[existentialkendall-blog]

Swipe Right for Drunk Sexual Innuendo 

Pairing: Chris Kendall/Reader Wordcount: 1.9k Rating: Alcohol, sexy words Warning: This fic contains sexual flirting which some audiences may find cringe-inducing and uncomfortable. Read at your own risk. 

Request/Prompt: they met on tinder, and that night when they matched they both had something to drink and their tipsyness led to them being flirty etc and when they met they're super awks with each other but in a v cute way

A/N: Request a fic prompt here. Y/N means Your Name. 

He's hot. The first thing you notice is that he's hot, then again, that's the first thing anyone notices on the perverse dating app. You'd downloaded it initially because you were curious to see how many people would find you attractive, but now you're three days and twenty matches in. Except, the innocent smile looking at you from the screen, and brown floppy hair, makes him stand out from the others. And he's probably the only guy you'd make an effort into continuing a conversation with. The rest of his photos confirm that idea. In one he's wearing sunglasses, strands of hair sticking to his forehead and mouth open in a crying face. Such a dork. You giggle, and blame the wine you'd started drinking an hour ago. But the next photo has your mouth agape in shock, because wow. He's wearing a red and black checked shirt ripped at the shoulders, punk aesthetic changing him from cute to undeniably sexy. The last is a bathroom shot. His green lantern t-shirt is hitched up to reveal a slither of skin, and his hair looks like it needs your hands buried in it.

NAME:

Chris Kendall, 27

BIO:

About Chris Northern but not gross northern like Cheryl Cole Raving bisexual 6ft 2- perfect big spoon Tries his best but has lazy syndrome Winner of beauty contest in monopoly Best hair where he works (the internet) Very lonely Terrible comedian, slightly worse actor Entertains people for a living

***** "Made 50 Shades of Grey seem as tame as the teletubbies." -Anonymous tinder woman ***** "His tongue is as talented as his mouth is wide." -Anonymous tinder male *"Stop asking me for reviews you weirdo." -Anonymous tinder female ***** "So sweet, everything a man should be." -Chris's mum

What a sweetheart. His bio shows that he's both adorable, and funny, and okay really hot. Still. Proving that you're a great judge of character once you see a persons face. Without hesitating, you swipe right. Instantly the screen changes. It's a match! You either have a really depressing life, or you really like him, because the match makes you grin so much it hurts. Before you construct a perfect first message, you grab the wine bottle (because glasses are for people who like washing up) and take a long gulp. Okay, the perfect message. Drunk you has no inhibitions or awareness or tact. So you send You can entertain me anytime ;) Because you're very, very, classy. While you wait for him to reply, you consider replying to some of the other people who've messaged you. It hasn't really gotten past the 'hey' 'hi' stage, and you're never as forward as you are tonight. Alcohol speeds everything up. As you're about to try to start something vaguely interesting with a 25yr old medical student, Chris replies. You almost have a heart attack, smile returning to your face.

Entertain you how?

Cryptic. He clearly wants the attention, so you give it to him.

I can think of a few things...

I bet you're so much cuter than your pictures, and you're 10/10 in those

And you look like a kinky fuck

We can explore your kinks together 

And like that you've spammed him for the very first time. Damn. You groan very lightly, because you still feel the familiar feelings of shame and embarrassment. More drinking is required. He's even quicker replying to those.

What kinks do you think I have?

My sexual prowess is ready for your enjoyment

You chuckle at the audacity of his question. And when you brain provides the perfect response the chuckle evolves into a full blown laugh.

Clearly a praise one. Want me to tell you you're a pretty boy Chris?

Do it. I'll trade you one, you're cute as fuck and I think you'd look good on my bed

Your eyebrows lift in shock, and you reposition yourself on your bed so you're more comfortable.

You're so hot my eyes burned looking at you, and I really want to see your bedroom ceiling

I wish I was the sun so I could go down on you every evening

You're swaying unconsciously as you type, and you have to concentrate on each word to make sure it's legible. Chris is actually adorable. You really need to meet him. ___

Hangovers never really affected you. Sure you'd feel groggy, and weak in the stomach, but never full blown migraines and nausea. The day after is no different. You wake up, and like most mornings, flail uncoordinatedly to find the phone typically resting on the floor. No such luck. With a ridiculous amount of effort, you sit up. Half lidded eyes flicker around the dully lit room, hands patting the covers suspiciously. And then, "Yes," As you find the rectangular device. Checking the time reveals it's 11am. Under that is a singular text rising above your usual notifications like a bad omen. The number is registered as 'assfucker'. The message cuts off halfway, so you unlock it to finish reading 'Are we still meeting at 12? I'm in the mood for pizza!'. And then, 'I don't usually meet people off tinder but we agreed to last night and I don't want to cancel'. Oh shit. Fuck. Mild hangover sure, but this has never happened before. You open tinder, heartbeat pounding uncomfortably in your chest. There's a long list of messages you'd been exchanging with this weird guy last night, the most recent being a plan to meet at Pizza Express for lunch. It's currently 11:40am. "Fuck. Ugh, fucking hell," You scramble out of bed, and rush to the bathroom to get ready. It doesn't even cross your mind to cancel. What if he's had to travel ages to meet you and he's almost there? Or, if he does really want to meet you and you disappoint him? That old fear of disappointment again. So, even though you don't have time to shower, or make coffee, and you're barely out of the house with your clothes on, you make it to the tube station with 5 minutes before you're suppose to meet. Even though the transport system is fast, direct, and efficient, the one thing it lacks is mobile service. Your head is itching with a far away headache by the time you finally get above ground. You send a quickly typed 'I'm going to be a bit late, I'm so sorry'. 'Ah good. I'll get us a table' he replies. You can't remember what he looks like. You're standing outside Pizza Express and you've just realised you don't remember what he looks like and you didn't check his profile before you came out to meet him, you were in too much of a rush. You're trying to use the WiFi to find his profile but it's loading so slowly, and before it loads someones feet are directly underneath your phone, right in your personal space. "I've heard if you stare really hard you can teleport inside of your phone," his voice is light and rounded with an ambiguous Northern tinge to it. You look up and wow, his hair is so fluffy, and he's practically seven foot off the ground. "What?" and why are you talking to me, you're cute, where is the guy I'm meeting. "Seriously? ...From last night?" Of course. Now that he's said where he's from, it's obvious that he's tinder guy. Except you still don't know what his name is, and he's leading you to your table and it's too late to ask him so... Fuck. "For you," He gestures towards your seat with a magicians flourish. You return the favour with his chair, "And for you." He grins, and his smile is so wide you get sucked in for a moment. You order your meals without a hitch, and the conversation flows naturally. "You're very cute in person," He compliments you, and a flushed pink smile takes over his face. "You should see me in animals," You reply, dry humour dry as ever. His eyebrows raise and for a second he looks unsure of how to respond. But he laughs, and you're safe. "You too, are attractive," You nod towards him. If the whole meal is this awkward and stunted you might have to find something totally normal to do to pass the time, like shed a napkin or drink a lot of tap water. "Two? Where's the other guy?" Oh god, he's awkward like you. He has a natural boyish charm and you're suddenly glad you decided to meet, because this is everything you've been missing. "Good question, I was expecting someone taller."

"I'm a grower honey, not a shower."

"Jesus Christ."

"You called?" "Duuude!" You exclaim, and he bursts into a fit of giggles. His laugh isn't even a laugh, not really. It's multiple giggles layered on top of each other, each one with different personalities but all sound cheerful. "So this is awkward but..." You trail off, not entirely sure how to say 'I don't remember your name and I need you to tell me cause maybe I want to keep seeing you' without sounding like a moron. But then it hits you. "... I saved your name in my phone wrong.. And, well, here, can you change it please," You hand over the offending item, where he's labelled 'assfucker', and hope he isn't offended. He frowns at the screen, and it's adorable. Everything he does is adorable. "No, you saved it correctly," His frown lines grow deeper and he goes, "Hang on, you did get something wrong." When he gives the phone back to you, you check the contact name. Under Name, and where business is, he's typed out 'fucker of asses'. Complete it is, Assfucker, fucker of asses. "Nice. Real classy."

"I aim to please."

"Oh a line from a bdsm film? So that's what you're into."

"I'm into you."

"Not yet you aren't," You wink jokingly but his expression changes like he's taking you serious. Ahh, abort. You aren't capable of flirting in real life, only on phones to anonymous people. Except he's not anonymous anymore. Before he makes things worse you admit the truth, "I've forgotten your name okay?" "y/n! How could you do that to me? After everything we've been through? You tell me something like that?" You roll your eyes but you're laughing and he looks so pleased with himself. Smug bastard. "Dude, just tell me." "Or what?" He raises one eyebrow perfectly. "Tell me, you asshole." He sticks out one hand in the middle of the table, "Hi, I'm Chris," you laugh and take his hand, shaking it like you're becoming business partners. Some kind of partners. "Nice to meet you Chris."

"You bet your ass it is."

"My ass is not on the line."

"I wish it was." The weird flirty defensive conversation continues for the rest of the meal. And at the end, after you've splitting the bill in half and you're saying goodbye, he hands you the cheque. "Read it when I'm not here."

"Sure."

"I'll text you."

"Or I will."

"I'll miss you."

"I'd miss me too."

"y/n."

"Chris."

"Do I get a hug?"

"C'mere," He's six foot of pure warmth and you feel comfortable in his embrace immediately. He smells so good, and you're slightly sad when he pulls away, and walks down the street in the opposite direction to you. You wait for him to turn the corner before you open the cheque. He's written something on it in scratchy restaurant pencil that he grabbed from who knows where. 'Next date, your ass is on the line. And I will win it'

#crabstickz #crabstickztag2 #chris kendall #fanfiction #mywriting #crabstickzxreader