idk why but im sooo pumped abt halloween this year for no reason like i already got some halloween candy ready for the kids in my neighbourhood and theres still a month left
view on my website (srsly check it out i figured out how to make the cursor trail sparkles)
when i started this project i was planning to write about gender, but i was surprised to find that most of what i've written about has been the platonic/romantic binary and how it doesn't make sense to me. there's also a theme here about not fitting into labels & the pressure to find the "right" one(s). (and i want to be clear that at this time i don't really like to use labels & don't want suggestions) but most importantly, there's a theme of love-your-friends-and-stop-worrying-about-being-too-gay. highly recommend
full text below:
Monday, March 29, 2010
So yesterday I found out what "lesbian" means
I don't understand how girls think guys are "hot".
I don't think girls are "hot" either.
5/10/11
part of me has already accepted the idea that I don't like boys
and I kinda like girls
part of me insists I'm not attracted to either
but I don't think that part is right
I might be asexual though
September 2011
"it's fine if you're asexual I'm just against lesbians but
I'd still be your friend if you were one"
11/17/2013 3:08 PM
what qualifies love from love if gender is out of the question?
[separate, undated entry]
And then suddenly
I started liking this other girl
and now I like the two of them equally
one is like anti-gay
have no interest in ever having a boyfriend.....
I don't think I get crushes on either boys or girls
(if someone would define "crush" for me
that might be helpful.)
Fears
11/16/13
why do I have to fit under a label
what if it's wrong?
what if this is all in my head and I
really am straight
and I just haven't found "the right
one" yet?
2/16/14
there is no coming out for me
me without my definitive label
3/24/2014 2:04 PM
It's hard for me to
Find an identity
When I don't quite fall
Into your straightened categories
We all know I am not male,
But I am not a "woman"
I am just I
The artist, architect of words
7/7/2014 2:07 PM
just because you know
my secret on a legal document
does not give you the right
to change my identity
7 May 2014
Without the gender binary, or the belief that there are only two genders, gender becomes a very abstract concept and is difficult to define.
8 December 2014
I have been completely fascinated with gender
socially constructed
March 17th, 2015
what is romantic love?
do I love this person romantically or platonically?
maybe I was just too
scared to be a lesbian,
Now I'm like, I'm asexual but
I just do not know what romantic love is
and that is why I think I might be
quoiromantic.
What is in between?
i don't know what my
romantic orientation is because
i am not
romantically or platonically attracted
to people but
somewhere in the middle
for a lot of people
and what do i do
15 December, 2016
And if gender is permanent, how do we explain
people whose gender changes throughout life?
September 10th, 2016
you once said that you didn't think anyone would ever love you
and i almost said that i already did
September 12th, 2016
why can't everyone just be polyamorous?
October 18th, 2016 11:11pm
# internalized homophobia
being Out. i'm not out.
i love girls, okay?
being misgendered constantly.
it's so exhausting.
i don't have the energy
to have the gender 101 talk
every. single. time.
no one fucking cares
about my special snowflake gender
i think some people think
i do it intentionally to
make my life harder.
i just want to be myself
and i have so much dysphoria
December 4th, 2016
i think i could be polyamorous
March 4th, 2017
and i stopped saying 'no romo' because
i still have so much internalized homophobia
April 22nd, 2018
it's not just a
level of how much I love someone
but also how emotionally connected to
them I feel, and how much
I want to spend time with them..
and how much I trust them
I don't know if I can categorize this as romance
but I definitely want it to be equivalent in
importance to a romantic relationship,
and I just feel like too many people
think my experience isn't real
June 13th, 2019
I feel like I'm starting to understand
a reality where I don't need to assign
everyone into two categories
because they are just
social constructs
I feel romantic toward my friends
because I love them,
but that doesn't mean that
we're going to be Married and Monogamous
I don't know if I am also polyamorous
or if I only think I'm polyamorous because I
feel so disconnected, experiencing the world this way,
but I think it opens a door to a
whole new world
to allow myself
to fully love my friends
DNF CHICKEN VIDEO LIVEBLOG NOW THAT I CAN WATCH IT WOOO
lmao dream didnt even tell him the premise before starting
"BTW I CAN GLIDE"
im an idiot i thought he had his hud hidden for a second then realized it was just tiny
lmao george went splat
|you can tell how long ago this was he still had the crown
damn that chimken has a lot of health
wait if dream dies but the chicken is fine can he still get back to it. can he just hide it somewhere.
actually yeah not having to fight dream is a huge advantage in this situation lmao
AND chicken cant wear armor so that's concerning
chicken fling
inb4 he crits it on instinct while grabbing food
dude put him in a hole while ur doing stuff
does the chicken regen or does it need seeds like in the pet videos?
the fast graphic leaves are annoying me
"yeah just like you were bugged ea-" excuse me
when they know each others' tells <3
can the chicken breathe underwater. does chimken have gills.
ok but the fact that he called it chimken kills me that's a very gen z thing to do
the chicken loves his dad (george)
boat strats lol
ok but without the hand there it genuinely looks like he's f1'd. i no longer feel dumb for thinking he was
oh dream's deader than the chicken
"it's like the opposite of jaws"
1 hp chicken!!
wtf are those noises george lmao
"Please he's just a little chicken" 😭
sidenote why tf are emojis rendered like that on notepad just add proper emoji support already jeez
music switch hi
"im so glad sapnap isnt in this recording im glad we had a falling out" silly silly
…lets be real there's probably someone in the comments who'll believe him wholeheartedly
damn eating chimken's brother in front of him
and chimken got revenge by egging him lmao
HE'S JUST A CHIMKEN!!!
oh god the fire strats
HE GOT BOXED BY A FISH damn that's an old reference
ICE BOATS
this is chaos lmao
wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
throws the chicken at him lol
just realized i've been spelling it wrong this whole time it's chimkin not chimken rip
i love how we all thought this'd be dnf chicken dads cuteness but nope george just wants this chicken dead
he hid the chicken in the house lets go
nvm george found him immediately
DONT BRING THE CHICEKN IDIOT
ok welp that should buy him some time
lmao he almost burned the chicken
rip fox
diamonds
having slowfall in the nether is actually gonna be very helpful, he can escape from george pretty easily given all the ledges
omg old-timey christmas music
this is the only time christmas music in october is acceptable.
"i can… fight you i guess 🙄"
o i see him
does he srsly- HE DIDNT SEE DREAM
0.5 jesus
oh wait if it goes down by .5s the chicken actually has 20 hearts/40 hp, damn
he is not making that- oh pearl nvm
"okay lets get out of here" so casual lmao
HOW
i've missed "hello dream" <3
chicken's stuck lmao
chicken almost just suicided
CLUTCH but also why'd he wait so long to leap after it
chicken wants a hot tub bath
hi george
how many blaze rods did he get? i don't think he can leave the foretress yet, can he?
if he doesnt have enough yet he kinda just needs to kill george righ- oh there he goes
chicken's an escape arCHICKEN'S SUICIDAL JESUS
"i clutched that was epic" "i dont care 😒"
he yays in lowercase daww
sir you are on fire
i love him when he's calm and silly mode
um acksuallyyyy gliding from holding a chicken is canon in the 2022 april fools update (that's the one block at a time one right)
heck i moused over the video on accident and saw how close i am to the finish. rip chimken you arent living long
lolwut
actually it's probably a rounding error, health is stored in smaller percentages than we realize
damn chimken was actually a dragon what a plot twist
"that was… anticlimactic dies"
And then i watched the extra scenes and laughed at chicken dragon and awwed at dnf going to get haircuts immediately after but i can't add those parts bc tumblr hates me 😒
a/n: I'll be uploading drabbles/headcanons Monday's during the month of October 😈 You can check the masterlist for what kinks i have planned, but if there's one you wanna see that isn't included feel free to send a request :)
If you'd like to be tagged, lmk! I'd be happy to add you to the taglist (you must be over the age of 18 and have your age accessible in your bio)
cw: impact play (spanking), biting, mirror sex, marks (hickeys, bites, bruises), Katsuki shows off his marks bc ofc he would
Minors DNI
Pain
I think it's just his personality, no? This man wants to feel pain, and if you ask he's more than happy to oblige
Especially loves to spank and bite, and he loves when it's reciprocated.
When your nails rake across his biceps or back, he lives for it, that sting heightens all of his senses and he feels pure ecstasy.
Srsly just goes straight to his dick he's so obsessed w you in that moment that he sets up a mirror in the room so he can see it when he's hitting it from behind and periodically spanking you (also doesn't mind how your ass jiggles when he does it lol)
Loves how sweet your face looks when he smacks your ass
I know he was the first one to bring biting into the bedroom, but more often than not he wants to be the one getting bit.
Especially on his neck. Especially as he's coming.
Marks
Looooooves marks no one can convince me otherwise
When he sees the scratches on his back or his arms he gets a sick sense of satisfaction because yea of course he fucks you that good
Doesn't care about hiding his marks, but he thinks it's super cute if you get shy about visible bite marks and hickeys
Likes leaving them in places no one but you two can see, especially when he can tug a little on your shirt or your shorts to expose it in front of people (he won't, of course, but I said he was a sadist for a reason)
When it's just you two he likes to trace over your marks, because he likes the way your eyes flutter closed, like your remembering him giving them to you with perfect recall and it makes him wanna take you back to the bedroom and give you more
an: thanks so much for reading! Comments/rbs/❤️ are always appreciated 🥰
Hiiiii! So I know I haven’t posted in like forever but like two weeks ago @theungratefuldead and I wrote some stuff about characters in lemon demon songs. Here’s soft fuzzy man x reader Pt.1 lmao (pt2 on the way!).
Word count: 1.2k
Warnings: I didn’t take this srsly while writing it, i use the word hand too many times, lime, i used lyrics as dialogue im sorry, hospital mention, poisoning, idk there’s probably more but this is all I can remember
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a dark and stormy night- well according to your roommate. It was barely sprinkling and neither of you had seen or heard lightning, but they insisted that it was stormy. Nonetheless, here you stood in front of the creepy, old, abandoned house that you and Vex walk by every morning on your way to the community college the you go to. Vex had suggested the two of you explore it as a “fun halloween activity”. And well, it was October 29 so time was, according to Vex, “running out”.
“What are you waiting for, go in!” Vex pushes you through the door. They had always been the adrenaline junky thrill seeker between the two of you, but you thought this might be taking it a bit too far. You land on your hands and knees, already feeling the splinters from the distressed floor boards pierce your skin. You get up and dust yourself off. Your hands stung as you plucked out the small pieces of wood.
Vex came through the door, creeping up behind you. They shouted in your ear when they got close enough, “Boo!!” You fell to the floor again.
“That isn’t funny, Vex” you said, standing up again. “Jesus, who died in here, it smells like death.” Turning on your flashlight, you walk through the entry way into the kitchen. You look around and find several old appliances covered in rust, mold, and whatever else was growing in this house.
“Wow, this place really is abandoned, huh, Vex? Vex??” Your roommate didn’t respond. “Vex?” you say quizzically, turning to look behind you. When met with no response, you look to a nearby hallway and see a light further down it, becoming dimmer as you hear the faint sound of echoed giggling.
“Dammit they fucking abandoned me,” you muttered under your breath. You jog after them (you had never been much of a runner). All of the doors in the hallway were closed, screwing over any real chance of finding them. You decide to go on without your roommate and decide it might even be better without them trying to scare you every five seconds.
After a few minutes of looking through rooms with decrepit and broken down furniture and very few items of interest, you decide to go upstairs. The second floor was much cleaner than the first, with much less mold, far fewer cobwebs, less peeling and staining of the wallpaper, and a lack of the odor of death. It almost looked like someone had been there recently, but you knew that couldn’t be the case… right?
You walked into a room on the left side of the staircase. As you entered, a cold feeling washed over you, leaving your entire body feeling a fuzzy chill, similar to what you imagine tv static would feel like, as you looked around. You noticed that the room was surprisingly well kept, with a complete lack of mold and trash. Only a single cobweb could be found in the corner of the room. All of the furniture was (for the most part) clean and in tact, aside from a mystery stain on an antique red love seat. There was a white, fluffy pillow with the word “Love” in pink cursive writing across the front.
You look over to the vanity on the other side of the room. Scanning the top of it you find a silver necklace with a fluorite crystal on it. You reach out a hand to grab it when it suddenly starts levitating. It rises into the air and, seemingly by magic, places itself on your neck. The walls and floor started shaking. You turned around.
“What the- ah!!“ Your words were cut off by a harsh tug down on the jewelry around your neck as a very attractive ghost appeared in front of you, a blue smoke surrounding him.
“Hi, sweetheart~” he spoke in a smooth, deep voice. It was sweet to your ears and reminded you of red velvet cake. You stared blankly at him, your mind and body in an intoxicated trance from his presence. “Can you see me?” He waved a hand in front of your face. “Why can’t you see me?” He let go of your necklace, causing you to fall back into the ground.
“Ah!” You stood back up, wondering if this was just a weird dream. “Are you… real?” You reach out a hand to touch him but he disappears.
“What does it matter? I may just be a trick of the light, but I’m here to love you all the same~” Suddenly the ghost’s voice was behind you and you could feel his hands caressing your shoulders. “Don’t be nervous, baby. I’m not like other guys who have a surface.” He reappears in front of you and takes your hands in his. Blushing, you try to pull your them away but he doesn’t let go.
“Wha-“
“Don’t go, honey! All you really need is a soft fuzzy man like me~” He pulls you into a hug, resting his hands on your lower back. A wave of euphoria washed over you. Unlike the warm hug of a living human, he felt cool and tingly around you. Also unlike that of a living person, he simultaneously felt there and not there, like hugging someone in a dream. It was intoxicating, his presence was like a drug.
You placed your hands on his chest as he let go of you. He placed one of his hands on your hip and the other held your jaw. You lean in and kiss him. His tongue enters your mouth and swirls perfectly with yours. You moan quietly into his mouth as you wrap your arms around his neck. He pulls away, leaving a string of saliva between you and a tingly feeling in your mouth.
He pushed you down on the red loveseat and straddled your hips. After taking your shirt off, he started to leave kisses down your body, starting at your jaw and ending right below your collarbones. His lips left a cold, tingly sensation on your skin. You begin the grind your hips up into his as he starts to leave a hickey in the crook of your neck.
You wake up in the hospital. Your mind is fuzzy and your entire body feels cold. When you finally come back to reality, you notice your roommate standing over you.
“You’re finally up! Thank the gods. How are you feeling?” Vex spoke with their usual energetic demeanor but with a large sense of worry and grief behind it.
“What happened? Why am I in the hospital??” Your voice was shaky and quiet.
“I found you upstairs laying on a couch and hugging a pillow. Your lips were blue and your hands and face were really cold. When I tried to wake you up, you didn’t respond. Not even after I yelled directly into your ear!” Vex continued, their usual sense of energy shining through the worry in their voice.
“So, I took you to the hospital and here we are! The doctors said you have quite a bit of lung damage so they think some sort of poison gas caused whatever this is.” Vex gestured to your body.
“Although, they said they can’t figure out what gas caused it, they’ve been running tests on you for hours. I hope you have health insurance! Hey what’s that on your shoulder?” Remembering what had happened at the abandoned house, you quickly tried to cover it by pretending to scratch your neck. In the process, you realized that you were no longer wearing the fluorite necklace you had found in the house.
#technically they're both half tuxedo half siamese but the black one took only the color from their dad and she's siamese in every other way
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
fr, please send every form of well-wishes you guys believe in this morning. I will accept prayers, spells, supportive pats-on-the-back, comforting hugs, offers of kittens, idk, anything else you guys can think of. I am, please god willing, getting this damned iud out, and there's apparently no local for it except maybe that cold spray that "numbs" things but it didn't do anything getting the iud in but sure why not that's a legit tactic.
I've taken my advil (my doctor of nursing nurse practitioner swears 800 ib works better in this situation than oral toradol, which yeah better than ORAL toradol but not a shot of it so wtf srsly), and I'm going to take my muscle relaxer in about 30 minutes, I guess, so it's at its peak when I get to my appointment. then, when I get there I take my ativan and oh yeah it's the most painful thing I've had done short of actual fucking surgery but sure why not.
anyway yeah, thoughts and prayers and everything else, please, just not the political kind like actual thoughts and prayers
44 notes - Posted October 24, 2022
#4
Sorry but I'm having a lot of Kino Loy feelings rn
47 notes - Posted November 10, 2022
#3
Predictably dragon age
Morrigan. Always and forever, no matter how many others come and go. Just concept art had me interested in the game, and finding out Claudia Black voiced her immediately convinced me to get it. I couldn't afford it at launch, but I still got it entirely because of her.
Here, have some art @chenria did of her as a surprise gift for my birthday one year after sending an almost identical, tho anonymous, ask.
83 notes - Posted March 30, 2022
#2
No not me crying at the 10th anniversary episode of Welcome to Night Vale
785 notes - Posted June 15, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
there are many benefits to being a marine biologist
god its been ages im so sorry, howve you been! hows work going? i literally can not believe its almost october - almost time to see oscar (i hope ur bank acc is recovering) and spooky sn (im not a Halloween person but i love seeing everyone all excited lmaoooo)
summertime sadness is over and winter depression is here 😔- frr tho i love September weather so yay!
the blog is FIRE as always - the only thing keeping me warm in this economic crisis (bc how are people queuing 30 hours to see the queen - i cant even wait in the grocery store after 4pm without 678 layers)
-lot and lot of love 🦋
hey heyyy love, i missed you 💙🖤💙 !!!
i've been doing great! work is boring as always but overall alright. and yaaaaas i'm so excited for october to come!!! can you believe i'm seeing oscar in less than a month?!!? i'm so freaking excited omgomg 😭 my bank account has recovered, although i'm going on vacation in a few weeks which means bye bye money again LOLOL. idccc, ima treat myself bc it's also my birthday and this year has been super stressful and i just need to relax and have fun y'know??
winter depression— i'm absolutely dying at that bc SAMEEE. well, that's not gonna hit until december so i'm just gonna enjoy the fall weather now that it's finally hereeee!!!
and sdfhfdkdjk thank you thank you!!! i feel like my blog has been blah lately since it's just me reblogging and not really posting but i'm so glad you still enjoy it! but srsly tho, do british people really like queuing?? bc i could never wait in line for that long lmfao.
okok to end this,,, how about you?? how are you!! hope you're doing amazing babe! xx
ur fics r amazing but personally favorite coincidence is the first fic i read of yours n it just has this special place in my heart ♡ like the way u wrote srsly helps me visualize ran n the scenery in that fic so vividly urgh and ran smoking while eating gummies???????? so sexy
however i think movie nights comes in a close second i enjoy the cozy fuzzy feeling of that fic just that it reminds me of october n halloween idk why haha
Removed pirate hat. Should I have added the veins to the hand?
Forgot about the idea to maybe add callouses and bruising on the hand to indicate a seasoned fist fit to punch.
Was originally going to go with a more realistic shiny shoes but opted out. Now they unintentionally look like matte or leather ones.
Spit is questionable both technically and conceptually. Originally meant to be a sign of disrespect to the ‘pirates’ but still questionable.
Shading on the shoe is also meh, could have easily fixed it but forgot, again.
Skirt is iffy, drawing it and making it ‘work’ was a pain after the pose changed. On the fence about blush, shading on leggings + skin, nose, and choice of line-art in general; they look ok but idk.
Got a shading tip but feel like i failed to appropriately apply it, but better than nothing. Well continue to try putting it into practice.
Liked the hair, even though most of it was by accident and experimentation. Srsly don’t know how i did it.
Liked the eyes, hands, and general posture from the head to the torso, everything below is… meh.
7/10 - As of now, it looks good but it still looks like its missing something. Maybe its the line art or ‘messyk and ‘unfinished’ style. Just cant put my finger on it
Okay but why does Veron’s hairstyle here remind me of Anita’s hairstyle? Kinda looks alike the more I look at it 🧐
0 notes - Posted April 22, 2022
#4
F this………….
‘Condemned it’ my foot! ‘Had it’ my foot! Well I have no words for this…………….they didn’t do sh!t, they just funded it!
Well, f this! I might stop posting about 101 Dalmatians and a few other Disney films ENTIRELY! Like srsly tho, f their priorities, f this company, f the ‘most happiest place on earth’! How much worst can they get?…………..
0 notes - Posted April 5, 2022
#3
And yo, I even received the email today regarding the 10000 likes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Just wanted to say thank you to all the creators who’ve put a HUGE smile on my face through their posts 🤧 seeing them makes me feel all happy inside 💜
1 note - Posted October 11, 2022
#2
10000 likes!
Woahhhhhhhh! Tell me this is a dreaaaaaam! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
I’ve like only witnessed over 10000 pictures of my fave stuff here and wooooow 😭 every pic that I’ve liked has put a smile on my face…………..
This is just so awesome 🤧 I’m crying literal happy tears rn
1 note - Posted October 11, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
My childhood song 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
2 notes - Posted April 5, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
I just got my year in review and ohhhhhhh my gosh I’m crying rn 😭🥹💞
#srsly tho thank you to anyone and everyone who has shared about their experiences with tickling
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
FBI agent assigned to me: damn bitch your lee mood bad tonight huh
197 notes - Posted September 17, 2022
#4
Running a tickle blog feels like having a secret life
200 notes - Posted October 2, 2022
#3
Tickle fic: "what was that?"
Tickle fic: "what was what?"
Tickle fic: "that sound you just made when I touched you, what was that?"
Tickle fic: *nervous* "it's nothing"
Me, squealing in my chair: AADGHKLLVDETCJKKKKOOYFBJKOFDRCVVXRGH
281 notes - Posted October 1, 2022
#2
Sure, "tickle" and "tickling" are flustering words and all but nothing makes my stomach flutter more than the word "ticklish". The first two words are describing an action or a feeling, it's not really personal per se
but the word "ticklish" is an adjective of a person whose composure and resolve are completely disabled by being touched funny, therefore rendering them helpless with laughter. Like what the fuck that's adorable! You can't just throw that word around any old time as if it doesn't describe humanity's most innocent weakness
313 notes - Posted July 22, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
Teasing is so important to the tickling process to me personally. It shows me that the ler is having fun tickling me. That I'm not the only one getting something out of it. They like my laugh, and they like the way I flinch and wriggle. For someone who routinely doubts whether other people like them, it's very reassuring for a ler to be playful because it's a small way of saying, "I really do want to be here with you"
awww im so glad i made you smile it means a lot to me :>
and hey i hope you know that it's totally okay to feel mentally tired. some times it's just bad morning, bad day and it all will be normal but other times you tend to feel down for a looong period of time because of irl shitts
i srsly dk what im saying lmao-
but like youre still active out there, writing comfort wips and i think that's so great. i truly love it when people write stuff like that to "help" themselves (even if it's in some private google docs) because it's the emotions talking and making you express it in a way youre not directly mentioning your worries and all-
if i continue like this i would be writing a whole ass essay about this pls TT (and im sorry if i didnt make sense i tend to write things without thinking yk)
BUT YEAH, going back to the topic- omg i always thought you were like an older carat like from 2018 or smth aaaaaa i became a carat in 2020 too !! waiting for october and it would be two years :D
and yes it would be great if i get some help with this song lyrics
it says /You are watching my dream, I envy you/ and they also mention this 'man' here im wondering if theyre talking about themselves or smn who's with the person they like (?)
i actually dont understand anything unlike other songs- TT
- 🪐anon
Anon hi😭💙 thank you so much for saying that, it's something that I know alrd but hearing it from other people surely feels different🥲
Please don't be sorry about anything!!! I'm glad youre even comfortable enough to just say anything in my ask🥰
Tbh!! I think regarding that they're talking abt this other "person"; either the person they want to be but fail to, or some other person who's currently with "you"? Also, for the particular part you mentioned, I think it's a little hard to completely understand bc Korean often omits subjects from their sentences so translations can be different bc people see it differently 😭
But personally, I'd say the translation is something along the line of "I really wish you can see my dream" because the title is 좋겠다 (eng ver. I Wish) but people also use that word when they're expressing things they're envious of (which is why you found a translation that said envy).
But well!!! I'm not Korean either, just someone who's learned the langauge long enough plus I believe the song is meant to be vague so we all can find ourselves in it😉