#I’m feeling things don’t judge me

[autism-crime]

Me when tragic siblings:

#I’m feeling things don’t judge me #mara sov #uldren sov #crow destiny #obi wan and anakin #star wars prequels #ahsoka tano #anakin and ahsoka #there’s probably more #but I can’t think of them rn #Oh god the fucking hive trio too #savathûn #oryx the taken king #xivu arath #vash the stampede #millions knives #trigun #hayakawa trio #zuko #Azula #atla #i fucking miss my brother #he’s an asshole #but he’s still my brother

[lesbianfakir]

Not to get personal but I think the reason princess tutu stuck with me for so long after watching it is like. As someone with low self esteem and abandonment issues seeing our hero hate who she is at her core only to make a friend who not only tolerated her “ugly” side but is so so deeply charmed by who she is under the mask that he wants to spend the rest of his life with her no strings attached? That’s the fucking DREAM

It’s the fantasy of having someone who loves you even when you’ve stopped being useful, when you can’t be funny or interesting or any of the traits you try to cultivate to make yourself more palatable to others. It’s the fantasy of having someone see to the core of you and not flinching, instead, coming away more endeared than before.

Princess Tutu is about hope. When Duck, our hero who brings hope to everyone, falls into despair, her best friend is there to bring hope back to her. And I think it says something that hope is the emotion the show leaves me with too. Hope for a better future. Hope that one day, like Duck, I’ll grow out of the ugly duckling phase and be able to embrace my true self.

#it is 2 in the morning and I can’t sleep #this one is ok to reblog if it resonates #but who knows I don’t know if anyone feels the same way #anyways yippeeeee one of my friends just stopped texting me back #I know she’s busy and she has new friends and she’s moving on with her life #still hurts though #I thought she was a real friend but I’m so bad at judging these things #anyways these are sleepy girl rambles #need a crazy bitch like fakir in my life ASAP #I feel like one true friend who’s there no matter what could fix me #but I feel like as the therapist friend everyone expects me to help them with their problems #and when I stop being helpful and have problems of my own that’s when they leave #and you gotta say fuck em and move on but it’s hard #lea talks

[herebecritters]

Please understand that, more often than not, works of fiction are a fictional exploration of concepts and ideas rather than a declaration of morality

#there’s a difference between fiction that condones disgusting things and one that’s breaking them apart and analyzing them through fiction #reading comprehension and understanding context is important YALL #please I beg learn how to separate fiction from reality folks #every so often I’ll see people making WILD claims about a person because they wrote a complex and flawed character #most of the people I know who enjoy exploring dark and questionable themes in their work are the kindest and most selfless people I know #while the people who sit atop a pedestal and judge every aspect of a stranger that they don’t know turn out to be the most selfish and vile #i should not be scared to write a story about morally questionable characters finding humanity #but yet here we are #Ive seen this kinda stuff do more harm than good too many times #sorry to post a hot take #just good lord I’m old I’ve seen this shit too many times #stop eating each other #you will see conflict and dark themes in my stories #if you cant handle messy themes in fiction please feel free to unfollow or block me for your own mental well-being #I’m sure I’ll regret posting this later but just putting it out there #hate being reminded that as a creator strangers are staring at you and making horrifying assumptions about who you are as a person

[harmonizewithechoes]

.

#I’m super sad about the whole tiktok thing #i really don’t want to go anywhere else #it’s the only place I’ve found for parents to go and talk about parenting without getting judged for every tiny decision they make #the parenting advice I’ve gotten there has been so helpful and made me feel less alone #you won’t find that kind of community here or on fb or insta #and honestly the comments in those places are horrendous #I’m going to miss not feeling alone

[tariah23]

Now I get why ppl block certain fans of things on sight, I really do.

#especially Homestuck #I have black mutuals who love it so they’re the exception but man no wonder I could never get into it #it’s never fancied me one bit #and anything unbelievably white I tend to turn my head away anyway I’m sorry #I’m glad I never got into it man #I feel bad for black fans #I’m sure most of them refuse to interact with its fandom since it’s usually a kkk meeting in the tags #I’m not the type to judges others based off of what they’re into usually (depending on what that thing is obviously) especially if I don’t #give a shit about it myself like whatver but man I understand now #rambling

[potter-pavlikovsky-popchyk]

listen and think of them pls

#Have I posted these all here before? Yes. Should you all still emo cry circle jam to them yes so do so #Get in bitch we’re diving back into Boreo feels (for writing purposes so yn it’s fiiiine it’s healthy even to emo sometimes right?) #He asks as if it’s change a thing if it wasnt #Lmfaooo okay but listen listen I plan the sad music first theeeen my dance music and workout #I get emo feels out after I promie fr I do it smooth brain style big smov brain haver I am! Okay! #boreo #boris pavlikovsky #the goldfinch #tgf #theo decker #theodore decker #theo i’m not gay decker #donna tartt #boreo music #And hey hey I included a song to end on that will help you “life… eh?” It because for me is Boris getting high w/Potter #Spotify #Also bedroom ceiling song UGHHH could just see sm to that aibsejwudhbsjf not emo about it actually how perfect it is and and #Def don’t imagine them both talking to their moms when they get drunk or high enough not to judge themselves about it #Asking them for guidance maybe just in their heads at first but the more they’re stressed the more they just can’t push off the want stuck #In their throat to just fucking ask them out loud till one night they just let out all slurred and embarrassed in the dark of their room #Omfg I miiiight need to have thiiiis in Forget about Kotku fuckkn hellllll #5seconds later I’m like yes no I will I think lol I need happy endings for my boys always and wasn’t sure how I would get there but thiiis #Mmmmm it’s giving me ideas in making that idea ages back I got from that Russian Facebook post I shared of writing love letters to someone #Sleeping cause you can’t tell em that rn and I just hmmmm *meme of ghoul boys*:IVE CONNECTED THE DOTS my brain: you ain’t connect shit

[hwsforeignrelations]

Everybody learns at their own pace everybody learns in their own time everybody everybody learns at the time best for them everybody-

#.txt #AGONIZING #the desire to improve right.this. second to unattainable degrees is crushing me oh nature cleooo #so many skilled artists and writers to be inspired from and motivated by #I REALIZE its like. all 20-smiths but I just love their stuff so much TT #and look. I still have to do my yearly america cringe post redraw and I’m excited BUT LAST YEAR I literally preferred the previous #and writing again and realizing I might have REGRESSED?!?!? from 2021?!?!? well maybe not BUT #its a tough lesson to learn that just because you age you don’t improve things you associate ur identity with if. you don’t. PRACTICE #like idk #anatomy not good enough #dialogue not good enough #not doing trends means less acknowledgement and that HURTS but I just don’t like making shit idc about it so it doesn’t feel worth it #going to college and realize it ur gonna have to stop being a kid and being ok with inadequacy #loving talking to fandom ppl but thinking oh ill never be as charismatic never be as interesting or as knowledgeable about history and #lighting #PEOPLE SHOULDNT COMPARE THEMSELVES TO THOSE 5+ YEARS OLDER bc DUH they’re gonna often be better #I just. havin a creative bump where it feels like ill never bring my ideas to as good fruitation as others can #well. um. yea if that’s about it. I’m gonna go plan for tomorrows usual week comic cuz I’m flying to England at 5pm and wont have time/bars #ill be in Europe for the next three weeks and I’m very excited #just feeling all around inadequate if cuz Europeans often judge you REALLY harsh when they find out your American #I just need to POWER THOUGH and have a good time and make the comics and write the stories I wanna write #cuz that’s all I can do and the only way to get better at walking is to walk the walk

[gregmarriage]

i may know it’s healthy to interact with people and be social, but that doesn’t mean i find it easy in any way

#like i don’t actually mean to isolate myself i just get lost in doing my own thing #which isn’t bad in itself #but then i find myself feeling sad and idk why #bruh you haven’t spoken to your friends in quite a while #if i was a sim my social bar would be red #but i still don’t wanna talk to people sometimes #like i have to physically force myself just to say ‘hey! #everyone pray for gwen’s social life bc it sucks and isn’t really getting any better even tho i’m trying my hardest #i do wanna push myself more and talk to ppl i’ve always wanted to talk to #but my stupid brain won’t let me #i’m trying to push past it though #it would be nice to make new friends that i then neglect bc i’m bad at friendship #idk maybe that isn’t fair #but i still wouldn’t say i’m great at it #idk i just feel dumb for begging people to talk to me #or even just sending messages to new people #or even my friends who i know won’t judge me but still #idk i’m still sensitive after my episode and i just feel embarrassing and annoying and like i’m bugging people #and i believe them when they say i’m not but it doesn’t stop completely me from feeling that way #literally ‘hey’ feels like i just pissed on the floor in front of them #like god! way to be annoying gwen!! #yes i know it’s my brain talking but literally i use up so much energy trying not to feel it #and so much letting myself feel it #and i only have so much energy as it is #not that it matters #bc most ppl don’t care as long as i check in sometimes #but again i repeat my earlier statement #don’t wanna check in i feel cringe #need friends and communication but cannot maintain them #like the 100th post i’ve made but it’s what my thoughts are currently

[bardicbird]

i don’t like the post going around that’s like “u need to eat vegetables even if ur autistic and it’s hard i promise u can find a way to prepare them that works!!!” it just feels . Bad. No hate to the person who made it bc that advice does work for some people, but when you’re specifically including autistic ppl who are more likely to deal with ARFID (like me) that sort of advice can come off as really patronizing and rude. eating disorders are not rational, and it typically doesn’t matter how the food is prepared . Some people just can’t eat certain things and instead of being like “you can do it i promise push your boundaries!!” I would instead recommend supplements to get the vitamins you need. also like—nobody *has* to be healthy. Like obviously if you are able to get the nutrients you need you should but in the case of people who *can’t* they are not lesser or just not trying hard enough; they are ppl who deserve respect and autonomy over their own choices. Idk just rubbed me the wrong way.

#i hope this makes sense again I’m not trying to be rude to the person who made the post it just made me personally a little upset #and to see some ppl i follow rb has been . eh #not super judging because it is probably good advice if you don’t have arfid/any other disorder that causes food aversion #but . ugh. yeah idk #ok to rb btw #bardic ranting #i think some of my feelings on this may be a bit misplaced bc having arfid means ppl give u this advice all the time and it can get tiring #to have ppl assuming u “just haven’t tried this one thing it’ll work i swear! #so again less of an issue with the post itself and more the common narrative of being weird to ppl who are unable to eat healthy food #arfid

[corrodedcoughin]

I’m absolutely not the person to do it but I feel like there could be such a good steddie Drabble or fic based on spooky by dusty Springfield

The first verse based on how Steve sees Eddie, trying to use his old tactics of playing hard to get when Eddie asks him round to watch the movie he rents from family video. Thinking that if he plays his cards right he might finally get Eddie’s attention. Unsure of how to go about it any other way but absolutely knows with certainty that nobody else is going to compare to the strange and endearing guy who’s had Steve’s attention for far longer than either of them realise.

(But the thing is Dustin told Eddie all of the flirting advice Steve tried to pass on. So when Steve changes his initial ‘no’ to an ‘alright’ with a smirk eddie thinks and hopes and prays he might be in with a chance)

The second verse is Eddie watching steve at work and day to day. Completely unsure of how to take the ex-mr popular, convinced that he’s flirting with everybody that comes into his vicinity and it’s either through mercy or for his sins that Eddie is catching the strays. In two minds about what dustin said, is this part of Steve’s game or is it real? But this time when Eddie gets lost in those spiralling thoughts, Steve grabs his hand and smiles at him. Eddie’s flurry of doubt stops and all he sees is the contradiction of Steve with his neck scar and polo shirts.

Love is kinda crazy with a spooky little boy like you 🎶

#third verse is them FINALYL getting their heads out of the sand and DOING something #both of them pining stupid hours over each other #.Robin is SICK of it #she needs Steve to be back at capacity to help her plan her Halloween costume so Vickie will be swept away by the intensity of his feelings #she’d be happy for Steve if he just stopped stalling and went for it #there’s only room #for ONE hopelessly in love platonic soulmate at a time and steves had long enough #corroded coffin are at a loss. Gareth has his head in his drum kit and asks Jeff to slam it as soon as Eddie starts on his Steve rant #Jeff obliges because he’s a kind soul and is actually using Eddie’s rants as ammo for the eventual best man speach he knows he’ll have to #give at the munson harrington wedding because Jeff believes in love okay!! #Gareth is a rage filled rat boy (affectionate) and Jeff is the kind chinchilla #freak (Ian to ME) just keeps going on with the practice because he actually wants to get better he’s a capybara #yes thank you for seeing cc are rodent based #Eddie is unfortunately a pangolin #listen I don’t claim to be a writer don’t judge me #there’s better people to read I’m just throwing riffing ideas out there #I’m offering free samples #I’m giving out spare change #take it and leave me #stranger things #eddie munson #steddie #steve harrington #it’s a VERY fun song to Steddie-fry #*….steddiefy #and yes wayne wishes eddie would stop playing it. Wayne loves dusty and Eddie is making him #reconsider his love #poor wayne

[lhrry]

x

#tbh it makes me sad that i hear from fans not feeling that safe at harry’s concerts anymore because of the fans and people who go there #first of all the mitski thing is very :// #second I’ve heard and seen people say that they don’t feel that safe as a lgbt fan there #that the hets keep discounting Harry’s pride flag runs and stuff and uugh it makes me so sad that people (and I don’t say it’s like that #for everyone and I really really hope it’s not like that for everyone because that would just suck) #don’t have that in those concerts and I get there are so many people coming to those stadium shows that it’s just going to be different #altogether #but idk it just sucks because even if you don’t think Harry’s a part of the community that’s fine but to rather think it’s a ‘fashion’ with #the pride flags than to think him an ally to the community like ugh ugh #anyway I’m really cherishing the fact that louis’ concerts are still majority hardcore and judging by the flags nonhet fans #because louis’ concert was genuinely such a safe space for me #and I’m so grateful for it #anyway this is a useless rant I just saw something and thought that sucked for the fans and for harry both #and what I’m hearing makes me second-guess bringing my pride flag to his show #and doesn’t that fucking suck?????? #that’s the one place I shouldn’t be like afraid to bring it to #and if you don’t think harry would be heartbroken to know his queer fans are now almost afraid to take pride flags to his concerts #you’re doing him a great injustice as a fan :) #like I genuinely believe this is not what he’d want but anyway

[elmoshipsbyler]

the best part about working at an art studio is seeing everyone be complete nerds about the things they love

i get to take a look at everything that gets made, and the amount of times people have been embarrassed to show what they’ve made (because it was too “cringey” or “weird” or whatever) is uncountable

and i’ve been there- i’ve been embarrassed about my interests too, because sharing the things you enjoy is vulnerable and people can be awful about it

but from the perspective of the employee, it genuinely makes my day

i LOVE seeing the amount of effort people put into the things they make. you can always, without exception, see the amount of thought and care that goes into art, and i wish we lived in a world were people could feel less guarded or embarrassed about the things they love

someone once made the most incredible stranger things mug, and when i tell you i still have the picture on my phone because of how impressed i was by it. it’s my absolute favourite thing and i WISH i could post it here

even for other fandoms i’m not a part of- i mean it when i say that me and all my coworkers spend about 20% of our shift talking about how cool all of you guys are

there’s something about art & having a completely blank slate that’s the perfect outlet, and the more i see people make art, the more it makes me realize just how important it is, in general

i love when people are nerds

#i could go on forever about that stranger things mug #whoever made it clearly loves the show #cause it had EVERYTHING #so many little details and references #and it turned out so nicely too it was SO PRETTY #so many customers will say ‘don’t judge me’ before showing me what they made #and i wanna grab them by the shoulders and shake them cause trust me #me and my coworkers are your biggest ally we LOVE this kind of stuff #fanart is such a valid and important kind of art and i hope in the future people can feel more proud of what they make #and see it as equal to any other art #which is also why i’m trying to fill the studio with byler and ST fanart- i want people to know that the employees are in fandoms too #like we get it we’re on your side #anyway #stranger things #byler tumblr #byler

[alexa-crowe]

.

#probably have to change meds 🙃 #idk i think i’m just a pessimist bc i always just assume that trying another med is a dead end #and that the side effects will probably be worse than whatever i’m experiencing now #but i’m also such a terrible judge of these things bc i’ve spent my whole life suffering bc of incurable disabilities #hard to stay hopeful with all that #just a month ago i was trying to address my anxiety :( #and my gastritis wasn’t an issue #and my other things weren’t issues #now my anxiety is at an all time high i have a bunch of side effects from the epilepsy meds #and i think my gastritis is flaring up #like god i can’t keep doing this i feel!!!! i keep trying to hope for better and dreaming of better #but i hate this suffering and i feel like no one has confidence that i can achieve my dreams #i love my parents and they love me but i don’t think they really think i can do it. be successful as a screenwriter #and i know that it’s the mood swings but how many times can i watch my life is murder how many times. #how long will popping on an episode every time i get anxious work? how long until i get better #rambling #anyways. sigh. life sucks rn for me what’s new

[sailforvalinor]

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#hffjfhfhhhhghgh #sometimes you think you’re over a guy but then you have a normal conversation with him like a normal person and proceed to think about it #for the next ten hours #my silly little INFP brain is being insufferable about this #like seriously I don’t want to date a guy who curses like a sailor I don’t #but we just get along so well together? he was homeschooled like me? he’s an lotr fanatic (as in he’s read the books)? he has OPINIONS #about little women? he’s an agatha christie fan?? he had reasonable things to say in biblical studies a couple years ago (which is more #than I can say for 95 percent of the people in that class)? #but I mean it doesn’t matter we’ve known each other for nearly three years and I can’t tell that he’s ever had that kind of interest in me #(granted I am a TERRIBLE judge) #fun fact though he is the guy who read a story I wrote freshman year and read a romance scene and exclaimed ‘that’s it! that’s what love is #supposed to be!’ #I mean how was I SUPPOSED to react #if nothing else he’s definitely one of Anne’s kindred spirits and I think I can live with that #anyway sorry feel free to ignore I just needed to ramble #I drove for like three hours today and it was just swirling around in my head the whole time #will probably delete later because there are a couple people who follow me who know me irl and would probably know exactly what I’m talking #about. they’re not super active though so #(and yes this is Alcott boy. although hilariously before I knew his name I called him Agatha Christie boy) #on a lighter note I may have convinced him to watch otgw because it has Elijah wood in it lol

[whydoifeelthisquiet]

I feel like a terrible person for saying this but I’m going to find a way to go to all three Chicago shows. I don’t have the money but I’m going to pull it off. Speaking it into existence.

#abby doesnt shut up #like i feel terrible but at the same time if people judge me they don’t know my story and how taylor is the reason I’m still here so.. #thinking of beautiful things happening to me always results in unbearable guilt !

[paulic]

Went to cavendish today and let me tell you Mr M had MONEY. It looks like a random ass house in the photos but when you’re there is very very very impressive and huge

#I’m slightly drunk ok but I went to all the Beatles spots today so don’t judge #I’m so happy rn I love the Beatles so much #4 dudes making music and my heart goes 🤩🤩🤩🤩 #literally what is it about them????????? I just know that I like looking at their houses and I like seeing how many people go to abbey road #they made their music so many years ago but still every day hearts are being warmed #including mine #makes me proud to see everyone writing their names onto the gates of Abbey Road <3 #I know this is insane behaviour but in my head I’m a bigger fan than all the other people there #I don’t mean that in a condescending way only as an explanation as to why I feel proud #it’s like aw someone I care about has achieved great things #anywayssssss