piggy backing off of the second to last anon,- how would the guys react in the acting au where reader died in supernatural verse but their actor visits set so they see them how would they react?
“it’s you.” (SPN pref!)🩷
a/n: this is so sad omg. i loved writing this. i didn’t do preferences but more of a little blurb for each boy <3 (not crowley i’m sorry x7)
warnings: angst, mentions of death
Dean:
when he sees you, his world stops spinning. He knows it’s you. your hair, your eyes, your lips. the same ones he remembered kissing so many times. it’s you, and dean knows it. but it can’t be. how could you be back.
he’s so zoned out that he dosent realize you’re now standing right in front of him.
“hey.” you smile
and god, that smile. the one he never got to see again - it was almost enough for him to break down right then and there. but he had to talk to you.
“h-hey.” he said, his voice barely audible.
“you okay?” you asked him, looking into his eyes and seeing the anxiety and distress.
he was quiet for a moment.
“uh… weird day.” he said shakily.
you frowned and moved closer, embracing him.
your scent. your body. your face tucked into his shoulder. he got to hold you again. he got to see you. it’s you. he can’t hold back the tears. soft sobs come from his mouth as he holds you against him.
“i’m sorry.” he whispered.
“hey it’s okay. don’t apologize. it’s okay to cry.” you whisper back, rubbing his arms.
but that’s not why he was apologizing. he was sorry he let you down. he was so so so sorry that it was you and not him that had to go.
he shook, his grip tightening on your clothes.
“i miss you.” he uttered.
“aw. you do?”
“so much.”
but then you’re called to set, to observe a scene. and he has to let you go for the second time. he has to say goodbye.
—
Sam:
sam dosent move a muscle when he sees you. he just looks. admires. he sees you laughing with one of the directors and he knows it’s you.
He walks the other way. even though he knows how badly he wants to talk to you, hear you, feel you again, it would just hurt him more. he watches you from a distance, smiling when you smile.
you’re full of life again. the same shine in your eyes, the same excitement in your voice… the same y/n. but he knows it’s not you. he knows he can never have you.
Before you leave set for the night, Sam calls you over.
“hey… can i talk to you?” he asks you, choking back tears.
“yeah of course! what’s up?” the same smile he always loved.
“i just… i miss you.” he whispers.
you give him a look.
“miss me?” you ask with a smile. “you see me every day.”
if only, he thought.
“yeah, i know. it uh… it just feels more than that.” he said, eyes studying your face.
he pulls you into a hug.
“i’ve just been having a hard time.” and it wasn’t a lie. losing you in his world was life altering. and now, seeing you but not.. you, just made all the pain come back.
“i’m sorry jared.” a sting of pain goes through him. he couldn’t even hear you say ‘Sammy’ for a last time.
“i’m here for you. always will be.” another sting of pain rushes through him, because you won’t be. as soon as he goes back, he’ll have to learn to live without you again.
you pull away, smiling.
“i’m gonna go home. i’m exhausted. text me if ya need me.” you smiled, letting go of him and walking out.
he just watches, silent tears falling again.
—
Castiel:
Castiel goes into shock. why would the angels bring you back? which angel did it? it wasn’t him.. he couldn’t have even if he had the chance.
he watches you from a distance. is this a dream? where was he? how are you back?
he watches you talk to another woman with curious eyes. he can feel the pang in his heart overflow and he knows he wants to talk to you. but if he does.. will this be all a dream? will he awake from this obvious hallucination?
he walks over to you, slowly and timidly.
you look at him and he finds himself looking at your lips. the same smile lines he remembered, the same soft freckles that were only visible if you looked close.
it was you.
he walked faster, engulfing your body in a hug. neither of you spoke as he felt your body in his arms again.
“you okay?” your voice breaks him out of his trance.
“yes..yes i’m fine.” he says, pulling away and studying your face again. his hand reached up and cupped your cheeks in both of his warm palms.
you put your hands over his.
he feels the familiar feeling of you again. god.. he couldn’t let you go.
“are you sure?” you ask him softly.
he nods.
“are… are you okay?” he asks you, choking down some tears.
“yeah. i’m okay.” you smile.
even though he knows it’s not you, it fills him with a sense of peace. you, in this universe at least, are okay.
“i…i am missing you. at home.” he whispers again.
and even though you have no clue what he’s talking about, you hug him again, rubbing his back as he lets the tears fall.
he has to start from square one all over again. leaving you. getting over it.
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life is really fucked up, actually. Indescribable and fucked up.
Kids, not 30 or 25 or even 21, fighting battles too big for them too often. Teens helping each other through mental illness and abuse and family problems alone. Young adults watching as death counts rack up for their age or even their younger siblings age. Children caring more about global conflicts than the countries involved and adults trying to speak louder than the ignorants with megaphones.
and at the same time, kids dance and play with their friends. Teens send each other memes or stupid messages. Young adults buy themselves ice cream for the first time while out walking in summer. Their younger sibling rants to them about a book they just read. Children draw and explore a world so large it cannot all be seen in a lifetime. Adults make connections they thought impossible and notice the beauties of life unnoticed before.
leaves change and crops ripen and storms brew and trees fall and animals die and are born and life cascades in an ever changing symphony of life and death and peace and destruction. People dream for the first time and people dream for the last. Lavender blooms and a bird learns to fly as a deer decays and an oak rots and yet we still live.
and that’s amazing and terrible and confusing and explorable and depressing and energizing and ultimately just so…indescribable.
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