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#I’m still like DO I DO A WHOLE MONTH OF JUST CR still unsure either way it’ll be a LOT
thebest-medicine · 7 months
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jimlingss · 4 years
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Sugar and Coffee [13]
Chapter 12 - Chapter 13 - Chapter 14
➜ Words: 4.3k
➜ Genres: 99.5% Fluff, 0.5% Angst, Pâtisserie school!AU
➜ Summary: It isn't hard to be a pâtisserie chef, but it's not a piece of cake either. It seems like for you in particular, life keeps throwing in one wrench after another. It always finds ways to make your sweets bitter. The cherry on top is Jeon Jungkook — a rival with a sensitive sweet tooth who always finds ways to complain about you.
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cr.
“I’m in love with you,” he asserts.   “Gross.”   Your answer is instinctive. But you’re not disgusted with him. Your features don’t twist. Your lips don’t become lopsided. Rather, the word is stated blankly. Impulsively. After all, you’ve conditioned yourself to respond like that — like anything in relation to romance is now awful.   “Yeah.” Jungkook sighs, hair shagging over his forehead as he looks down. “I know. I’m pretty disgusted with myself too. But it doesn’t change the fact that I’m still in love with you. Fucking head over heels and all that crap.”   You’re rendered speechless, about to ask him if he’s fucking with you, if this is some kind of sick joke.   But then suddenly, Jungkook sighs loudly, startling you. His rigid body deflates, the tension in his muscles leaves and he knocks his head back, taking a deep breath. “God, it feels so good to be honest. With myself and with you.”   The sun is setting over the horizon, the warmth soaking into his skin and softening his edges. The pair of you face each other in the middle of the empty sidewalk on an equally empty campus. There’s nowhere to run, nowhere to take cover.   You wonder how long he’s felt this way for.   You’re conflicted, unsure what to tell him. “Love’s a strong word, Jungkook.”   “I’m aware.”   “H-How are you even sure?”   The dark-haired man looks you in the eye, his own becoming half-lidded. His breathing turns shallow, heavy in his chest and out his parted lips. “I’m sure.”   You know Jungkook well enough to recognize his earnest sincerity. There isn’t a shred of doubt in his gaze nor his expression. He doesn’t waver once in his bold conviction. There’s only truth.   “Well…...shit.” The words sink into you. The claws and pointed ends of each syllable nick into your flesh. In an instant, your impassiveness is torn from you — your placid state taken — your stoic face uncovered. “Fuck. Fuck!”    You scream up into the sky, turning around, hands in your hair. What he’s saying registers and you hate it. You hate that love has to mess up every single relationship that you have. Goddamn. You can’t keep that disease away from affecting the people you care about most.   Jungkook watches you have the small meltdown with widened eyes, not sure what to do or say. But then you whirl around after a moment, determination set in your features. All of a sudden, you grab his hand, patting it with your other firmly as if you were a doctor coaxing and comforting a patient.   “We can overcome this together.”   “What?”   “It’s okay. This happens. If you’re friends with someone from the gender you’re attracted to, it’s natural you end up having a crush on them. It’s expected actually, considering we spend so much time together and interact so much. People encounter this issue all the time, but we can overcome it, Jungkook. Together.” You put your hand on his shoulder, eyes sympathetic. “I’ll help you get over me.”   Jungkook can feel his left eye twitching.   Of all responses, he did not expect this one. You’re acting like his therapist and that he’s got some kind of illness. You even end up thanking him for telling you the truth.   Jungkook might actually need to see a therapist after talking to you.
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Infatuation only lasts so long. Personally, in your humble opinion, you aren’t hot shit anyway. You’re not that great. Jungkook will get over himself when he sees you for how you really are.   If anyone’s ever liked you, they won’t for long — you have evidence of that.   “Hey, buddy!” You give finger guns as a greeting, making sure to not get too close to him.   “You don’t need to patronize me.”   Your voice releases stiff laughter. “Alright, bro.” You put your fist out for a fist bump, but Jungkook completely ignores you. He walks right past you with his hands in the pockets of his open coat.   “Are you coming or are you going to stand there like an idiot?” he asks, briefly glancing over his shoulder.   You scoff.   Ever since the whole traumatizing confession, nothing’s changed. But at the same time everything has.   Jungkook doesn’t act any differently — he still glares at you, calls you stupid and a witch. But you also begin to notice how affectionate his physical gestures are, when he taps your arm, when takes your shoulder to guide you away from a crowd, when he pats your head.    And your efforts of keeping things as platonic as possible inadvertently makes everything awkward. It’s even worse now that you’re literally spending so much time with Jungkook. Exclusively. It’s just him, and for the months to come, it will only be him.   You’ve already decided within the first minute that you won’t ignore him or distance yourself. You can’t. Not with the upcoming internship, and not when you’ve had that happen to you. You won’t do such a cruel thing to someone else. Jungkook will always be your friend no matter what and you’ll make sure of that.   You catch up with him. “You know, I haven’t showered in days. This is like three-day old hair. Greasy, right? I just get so lazy showering.”   “Right.” He ignores you.   It goes silent and you noisily clear your throat. “Man, I had the worst shit today. It was explosive, dude.”   “You really think toilet humour is going to make me stop liking you?” Jungkook stops in his tracks and you halt in a delayed manner. He shifts towards you, glaring. “What do you take me for?”   You pout. “At least I’m trying.”   “Try harder.” He pauses. “For the sake of both of us.”   You’re befuddled over his answer and when he starts walking again, you quicken your pace to match his. “What? You don’t want to like me?”   “Not if you don’t want me to. I just wonder what’s more difficult,” he hums thoughtfully, “You trying to get me to stop liking you or me trying to make you like me.”   “I already like you,” you mumble.   “See?” Jungkook points out abruptly as the corner of his mouth quirks into a subtle smile. “That’s not going to help with my situation.”   “Sorry.” Your cheeks puff in your pout.   “Neither is that,” He says and when you quirk your head to the side, brows furrowing, he grins boyishly. “Stop worrying about it before you give yourself wrinkles. Save your energy for the internship. I’m the least of your concerns.”   He’s wrong.    Jeon Jungkook is the biggest thing on your mind lately.
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Kim’s Wedding Cake Company sits in the middle of Imlings Avenue.    It’s a bakery played in between two small boutiques. It has tan brick walls and the shop’s sign is slightly worn around the red letters, but still legible. The doorway is narrow and crowded by two large glass windows on either side that invites onlookers inside for a session of cake tasting.   The bell chimes as Jungkook pushes the door open, keeping it wide until you’re able to step in.   The cream walls and the floorboards create a cozy atmosphere like you’re home. But what sets it aside from an intimate abode is the paintings of wedding cakes on the walls and the rounded tables with chairs around them for customers to sit at.   A counter is curved at the corner of the room, cutting off the main area from the back. The moment the bell stops ringing, a short woman comes frantically stumbling out from the doorway.   “Welcome!”    She grins and the wrinkles around her eyes crease. Her brunette hair is in a bun, strays falling to frame her face. The woman is maybe around her early forties. “Congratulations on your engagement!” She grabs her binder and starts flipping. “Do you have an appointment?”   “Oh no! He and I…” You point at Jungkook and then back at yourself, flustered. “We’re not like that.”   Jungkook is holding back laughter, watching you flounder about. You’ve suddenly become so anxious at the idea that the pair of you are engaged. He turns away to look at the woman. “What she means is that we’re your interns.”   “Oh, thank god.” The woman sighs, stepping back. “For a second here, I thought I had completely forgotten about an appointment.” She turns on her feet, placing her hands on her hips and shouts, “Namjoon! Honey! We were supposed to get our interns today?!”   From the other room, a man’s voice screams back. “What?!”   She goes closer to the doorway, shrieking, “Our interns! Were they supposed to come today?!”   “No! They’re coming in a week from now!”   “Then why are they standing right here?!”   “What?!”   “Why are they standing here?!”   You exchange a look with Jungkook, not sure what’s going on. At the same time, a stocky, tall man in the traditional chef's uniform emerges — white double-breasted jacket, black pants and an apron. “I heard you, I heard you.”   “Did you mark it wrong in the calendar again?”   “I swear I didn’t—” The older man’s eyes widen as they catch the two of you standing there awkwardly. You lift your hand in salutation and he laughs. “Well, what do you know! Here they are, today! Welcome to our home!”   Namjoon opens the wooden separator, comes out and wipes his hands on his apron haphazardly to shake both of your hands. His wife sighs and follows closely to greet you. “You must be Y/N and Jungsook?”   “Jungkook,” he corrects in dismay while you try to hide your giggles.   “Right, right. My bad. My name is Namjoon and my wife here is Sejeong.”   Sejeong smiles. “I’m glad you’re both on board. Do you have any experience doing wedding cakes?”   “No, we haven’t.”   “It’s alright,” she reassures, “We’ll teach you along the way.”   “We need all the help we can get.” Namjoon sighs. “Ever since Soohyun went on maternity leave, we’ve been swamped up to our chins. Doesn’t help that it’s wedding season.”   “Auntie.” A four foot eight girl comes out from the back, her long black hair tied into a ponytail at the crown of her head, and coral apron tied around her body. “The chocolate’s melted—”   The girl freezes on her spot, big eyes pinpointing onto Jungkook. You glance at him, and he looks at you with a small shrug.   “Has it?” Sejeong smiles and brushes past her. “I’ll go check.”   The younger girl doesn’t move and Namjoon smiles. “Oh, this is my eighteen year old niece, Yuna. She’s working here part-time to help out, mostly on the weekends when she’s not at school.”   “Nice to meet you.” She timidly approaches Jungkook, clearing her throat and batting her lashes at him.   Jungkook blankly shakes her hand. “Hi.”   You extend your own hand and it’s only then that she seems to notice you and reluctantly shakes it. “I’m Y/N and this is Jungkook.”   “Jungkook,” she murmurs after you. “So you’re going to work here till August?”   “Yes, they will.” Namjoon laughs heartily. “You should go help your aunt look at the chocolate, Yuna. You can only learn if you know what you did wrong or right.”   “Fine.” She exhales and drags her feet away, throwing a fleeting look to Jungkook over her shoulder.   Namjoon re-directs his attention to the two of you with a softened smile. “Let me show you around!”    The back area is a short hall that splits into three. The door to the left is a room with a table and chairs, posters of wedding cakes on the walls and happily married couples on their wedding day. “This is our only private room we have. It’s just in case a couple has a large party with them or would like some privacy when we have our consultation.”   You peek your head into the room across from it. “That is our staff room and our bathroom and where our offices are. You can always eat your lunch or take a break here.”   Namjoon leads you the other way and it’s to the place you know best — silver countertops, stoves, ovens, and sinks galore. “And this is our kitchen. We have a fridge here where we keep our cakes, a small fridge, our pantry. You’ll get yourself familiar pretty soon, don’t worry.”   You return from the tour back to the main area, asking questions along the way which Namjoon is happy to answer. The pair of you also offer more insight into what you know and he’s pleasantly surprised that his two interns are more experienced than expected.   “It can get pretty hectic around here during the wedding season. Some days we just have appointments and cake tasting all day. Other times, we’re rushing to make a wedding cake for the following day or we might be at the wedding venue getting it all set up. We usually open up shop around eight in the morning and you guys are let off at four.”   “Don’t worry, if we have to stay late to catch up on work or finish a cake up, you’ll get paid handsomely.” Namjoon grins. “We work five days a week. Sometimes you’ll have to come in on the Saturday if we have a wedding on Sunday, but it’s not often. Any questions? Comments?”   “Um…” You exchange expressions with Jungkook. “No, not really. I think we got it.”   Suddenly the older man bursts out laughing, startling you both. “You two don’t have to be so anxious! I was a student once too. Don’t they say wedding cake internships are one of the hardest ones you can take?”   “Uh.” Jungkook gingerly smiles. “We’ve heard of that.”   “Yep.” The older man bobs his head. “That’s what I thought. But don’t worry, it’ll be a lot of work, but it’ll be fun. Just don’t get on my wife’s bad side and you’ll be fine and dandy.”   “Are you talking badly about me?” Sejeong comes from the back, glaring at her husband.   “Oh, there she comes.” In spite of his playful warnings, Namjoon laughs, dimples marked on each side of his cheek. He leans over to plop a kiss at the top of her head and waltzes into the back, leaving her sighing.   “That man. Hopeless, I swear. Anyhow...I hope you both are ready!” Sejeong claps her hands together. “No time like the present to start learning and diving into it! We have a couple arriving in an hour for a consultation and I want you guys to lead. Should be easy enough!”   The two of you nod, preparing yourselves.   //   Both Namjoon and Sejeong give you a few moments to yourselves to breathe and not be overwhelmed. But you’re kind of excited. It’s a bit surreal that one moment you’re sitting in a lecture hall learning about theory and the next, you’re in the real world, about to apply all the knowledge you’ve gathered. For a while now, you’ve missed working and being more hands-on.   You glance down to your coral apron they gave you. Jungkook is in the same one and while he grumbled about not wearing much pink before, he looks cute in it. You wanted to take a picture but he didn’t let you. Self-conscious Jungkook is one you’ve seldom seen and admittedly, endearing.   “They seem really nice.” And in love. It’s pleasant to see. Even with how disgusting romance is.   It just isn’t often that you can look at a couple and not think about their inevitable doom.   “Yeah, they are. Thankfully. God knows how many strict head chefs are out there.”   You wonder what it’s like to own a business with your husband and work together all the time — though you don’t voice your question aloud. You have an inkling Jungkook would flirtatiously answer ‘that could be us’ and you don’t need to be distracted by him right now.   His presence is a distraction enough.   “How about Yuna though?” You elbow him lightly in the ribs, giving a nudge while wiggling your brows. “I think she likes you.”   Jungkook’s expression blanches. “She’s still in high school.”   “I’m just kidding—”   “And some other girl showing up is not going to stop me from liking you any less than I do,” Jungkook says nonchalantly, stating it like it’s a fact. He���s unaware of how your face heats.   You quickly take a drink of water in an attempt to cool down. Goddammit — he’s being a distraction already without you having to set him up.   “You still owe me that favour.” You clear your throat, changing the subject. “Remember? When you challenged me saying you could pipe better than I can temper chocolate.”   “I thought we called it even.” Jungkook grins, cutely with the mole dotted underneath his mouth.   “Nu-uh. That’s not fair and you know it.” You put your foot down. “We agreed the loser would have to cover for the winner when they go on break or make a mistake. And you lost, Jeon.”   “Already planning on making mistakes?”   You sulk. “No. I just want you to have my back.”   “You already have that,” Jungkook says tenderly with a smile. “And a lot more.”   Your mouth is filled with cotton. The corner of his mouth curls even more, relishing in your surprised expression. He doesn’t even bat a lash and merely looks away when the bell to the front entrance rings. “Welcome to Kim’s Wedding Catering Company.”   You tear your eyes away from Jeon Jungkook’s profile. “Do you have an appointment?”   “Yes, we do.” The woman smiles, dressed in a white beret and trench coat, her cheeks blushing. She’s accompanied by another woman in a leather jacket who’s holding her hand. “It should be under Lee.”   “You must be Sungkyung and Victoria, congratulations on your engagement.”   The both of them glance at each other, sharing giddy smiles. “Thank you.”   “Right this way.”   Jungkook leads them to one of the wooden tables, setting out a book as you grab the slices of cake on the plate from the back, all decorated and labeled. Sejeong who’s been watching at the counter gives an encouraging thumbs up.   “So your wedding is being held during the beginning of September?”   “Yes and we’re planning to cut the cake during the evening,” Sungkyung says as Jungkook jots it down on his sheet.   “Will this be an outdoor or indoor wedding?”   “We’re planning to have it outdoors in a garden.”   “That’s nice.” Jungkook smiles. “Do you have any themes in your wedding? Any colour scheme?”   “We have butterflies and we have green and purple as our colours.”   “And how many guests do you have?”   “About a hundred.”   “Okay.”   You come to the table with the long plate and two forks. Both of the women are excited, eyes lighting up as you place the cakes in front of them and take a seat beside Jungkook.    “This one is vanilla cake with buttercream. It’s simple, but a classic. This one is coconut cake with coconut cream. Red velvet with cream cheese frosting, chocolate with ganache, lemon with custard filling and fondant, strawberry with salted caramel filling and fondant, and the last one here is carrot cake with butterscotch sauce filling and chocolate buttercream icing. Take your time.”   “I really like this one,” Victoria whispers to her fiancée, fork points to carrot cake. “Or at least the icing part.”   “I prefer this one.” Sungkyung indicates the strawberry cake and takes another bite.   “We can always mix and match,” you tell them with a smile. “It’s possible to do strawberry cake with buttercream.”   “Buttercream usually tastes better than fondant, but if it’s hot outside, it might melt.” Jungkook’s brows knit together and you look at him, humming for a second.   “Well, we always put a layer of fondant over the buttercream so they also get that smooth look and we wouldn’t have to worry about melting.”   The boy nods. “Yeah, that would work.”    “That sounds really good.” The two women smile at each other. “How much would it cost?”   “Ummm…” Jungkook flips through the binder, memory failing him. He finally finds the table of all the prices on the tenth page. “For us, it depends on what kind of cake you end up choosing and how many tiers it’ll be, but it should be around four hundred to five hundred. For a hundred people, I’d recommend…..uh…”   “Three to four layers.” You finish his sentence and Jungkook looks at you gratefully.   You leave the two of them to finish up the cakes and to discuss with one another.   Sejeong who’s been waiting at the back has her compliments prepared. “Great job, you two. Couldn’t have done it better myself!”   It’s stressful to remember the details, but luckily Sejeong is merciful and allows the two of you to shadow her as she goes out to explain the designs, possible flower arrangements on the cake and discuss how they want it to look. She also goes more into detail about prices, providing the women with a write-up of what it would look like.   When the consultation is finished, there’s not a moment to breathe.   You’re ushered into the kitchen where Namjoon is working on a wedding cake.   “So I already baked these babies yesterday and let them cool down in the fridge. I’ve also made the buttercream just now. Today we crumb coat our cakes and colour fondant. Tomorrow, we’re going to cover the cakes with fondant, put dowels in and stack our tiers, and decorate, then it’s all ready for delivery! Easy, huh?”   “Umm…”   The older man laughs noisily from his chest. “I’m guessing you two know how to crumb coat cakes?”   “Yes, we do.”   “Great. Then this is all on you. Make sure not to mess up! It’s the bride and groom’s special day! People only have a wedding once...hopefully.”   There’s not any pressure whatsoever.   Namjoon leaves, coming in and out to help with his wife and niece cleaning the front and watching over your shoulder. But he has little to say to both you and Jungkook when he finds your techniques sufficient.   The cakes are placed on a turntable, bench scrapers and offset icing spatulas in hand. You add a thin layer of frosting to trap cake crumbs and prevent them from popping up in your finished cake. And while you crumb coat two layers, Jungkook does one and goes to colour fondant.   Namjoon teaches him, rolling the fondant into a ball and kneading until it’s soft and pliable. A small dot of pink is added and he kneads the colour until it’s blended.   Once you’re done with the cakes, you help Jungkook with another ball of fondant, kneading until your arms are sore. Afterwards, the two of you assist Sejeong and Yuna, organizing the shelves of baking pans, various coloured ribbons, and bins of cookie and cake cutters.   It’s tiresome, but you feel rejuvenated when they let you try some of the spare cake slices they offer. It’s delicious, melting on your palate and Namjoon jokingly quizzes both of you on what kind of icing works best with what cakes and what ingredients are in each of them.    You’d like to say you won.   They also teach you how to answer emails and phone calls, and both you and Jungkook arrange a few appointments for next week. The day is over before you’ve realized.   “Good work, you two!” Sejeong praises. “You’re very fast learners.”   “I heard you rank high at your school.” Namjoon smiles in spite of your modest protests. “I believe you know her as Miss. Kang. She speaks highly of you two and I’m not disappointed.”   “Jungkook, I heard you wanted to be a Chocolatier?” Namjoon asks and the boy is like a deer in the headlights, doe eyes rounded. He nods slowly.   “Yes, that’s my long-term goal.”   “When we have a moment then, I’ll work on something with you,” he promises with another dimpled smile and Jungkook is visibly enthused. “Anyway, I hope nothing was too overwhelming. Get a good night’s rest and we’ll continue tomorrow!”   They close up shop as the sun sets over the horizon and Yuna waves wildly, bidding Jungkook farewell. “Bye, Jungkook!”   He makes a noise, a small ‘bye’ to her before the two of you turn away after waving to the married couple. You walk down the street together, towards the bus stop where it’ll guide you home.   “That wasn’t bad.”   “Yeah.” There’s a pause. Jungkook smiles at you. “It wasn’t.”   Silence eventually falls in between the spaces.   You can feel your eye bags deepening, your bones creaking with every movement. You’re exhausted from the long day, unable to utter a single word, but the quiet that settles is comfortable rather than awkward.   Your feet are moving on their own against the pavement, the sounds of cars moving past shaping the white noise of the city. It’s a long way back home, but as you glance at Jungkook, walking alongside him with your footsteps synced together, you’re glad he’s here.   The two of you have each other for support.   You’re unknowing to how Jungkook shares the same sentiment. He takes a glimpse of you when you don’t notice, stealing glances like he’s stealing candy. The smile on his face softens.   His own words echo back to him— “I just wonder what’s more difficult,” he had hummed thoughtfully, “You trying to get me to stop liking you or me trying to make you like me.”   It occurs to Jungkook that he’s found his answer. He realizes he can’t ‘overcome’ his feelings. He can’t get over you like you think he can. 
If you rejected him, his concern of making you uncomfortable would far outweigh these simmering emotions inside of him, but you didn’t. The fact of the matter is that Jungkook knows your aversion is towards love, not him. And with such uncertainty and possibilities, it’s impossible to get over you.
It won’t work. Not when you’re you. 
So Jungkook chooses the other path — the other approach.    He makes the decision right then and there. Instead of idly standing by and allowing you to sprout nonsense and drive him even more crazy, he’s going to act. He’s going to actually do something about his feelings—    Jeon Jungkook is going to court you.
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Dreamers
Do not ask me what this is because i have no idea. It’s like midnight here and i really should be asleep but my blood was boiling to get this out of me. I’m just gonna classify it as fanfiction but its debatable? Anyway i hope you enjoy my lovelies. It was so.......interesting to write. I don’t know my fingers took over and i just let them do their thing.
Masterlist
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i thought we were made 
of memories
but when i look at you 
the whole world 
blurs
i’m starting to think we are made
of dreams
and you just happen to 
be mine.
-badpoetry
What is a dream?
A 12 year old Percy Jackson asked.
And the little five year old girl he babysat gave him a toothy grin and said, "Mommy told me its where all the people we used to know and all the people we will know meet up,"
He blinked those sea green eyes at her unsure exactly what she meant, what that implied, what those possibilities entailed.
"Why?"
"Well," Her brow furrowed, "I was having a bad dream and I woke mommy up. I was crying you know," She nodded, hanging her head shamefully, "I know that means I'm not a big girl but it was really scary,"
"It's okay to cr—" He started but she was already prattling on.
"So mommy sat with me and she explained that sometimes when we dream bad things it just means our heart is hurted for the people we don't know."
Percy was flawed, he didn't really know how to process this, how she said it with such casualness, as if it was the most sensible thing in the world.
"And what happens if you have good dreams?"
"Well mommy says that means you are happy." She shrugged, "Can we watch Winx Club now?"
And with one click of the TV the conversation was over. For her anyway. Percy sat there, blinking in and out of reality, his thoughts swirling.
Where all the people you used to know and you will know meet.
He crashed into bed that night, tired and escaping the reek of liquor and tobacco. He circled back to the conversation he had with little Stella a frown etching into his forehead.
Our heart is hurting for the people we don't know.
And when grey eyes and streaks of blonde visited his dreams once more his frown deepened; who was this person and why why why did they hurt.
***
Annabeth Chase was having a bad day. She had had a fight with her father, got screamed at by her stepmother and stepped on Lego all in the span of one morning. Now she stormed down the passage and out the gym, gold curls flying and eyes the colour of ash burning holes into the concrete as she waited outside.
It wasn't her fault she had punched him. He shouldn't have told her to "move out the way so the real game could start." She would have thrown that basketball right at his stupid face if someone hadn't grabbed it from her. Now she was standing outside the gym, waiting for class to end so her coach could take her to the principal's office. She was probably going to get suspended again- not that she cared. She was more concerned with what her father would do. Her anger was interrupted by a throat clearing.
She looked up to see black hair, dark skin and green eyes staring at her.
"What do you want?"
"I got sent here. I punched the other two idiots who were still snickering after you got kicked out."
And it's then that she noticed his bruising knuckles and red jaw.
"Oh," Was her eloquent reply, "Why?"
"They were wrong and it was rude." He shrugged as if it were the most normal thing in the world.
"Well thanks I guess," She tried to set her face into some semblance of a smile, "Guess we're both getting suspended huh?"
"I'll probably get expelled," He rolled his eyes.
"What? Why?"
"This is my third offense. I seem to have a lot of run-ins but usually they don't involve defending pretty girls."
She blushed at that, and then took comfort in his reddening cheeks.
"What's your—"
"Annabeth Chase!" A stern voice started towards them.
"Guess that's my cue. See you on the other side—"
"Percy," He smiled.
She returned it with a dazzling one of her own before being dragged to the dungeons.
Percy Jackson did not dream of stormy eyes and golden curls that night. And for the first time in six months he finally knew that Annabeth Chase was not hurting.
"Percy," She laughed, shoving away.
"Annabeth," He whispered, pulling her to him.
What is a dream?
A sixteen year old Percy Jackson asked.
And the glowing girl tucked into his side turned to him and said, "Subconscious imaginings that happen when you sleep that could involve sound, image and other sensory components."
He smiled at her, at his wise girl who thought of everything with her strategist brain, and he pulled her closer.
"They're just in your head, made up. Your imagination running wild." She shrugged as if that was the sensible explanation, the only explanation.
"I guess they are. Why do you think we have good or bad dreams?"
"Probably to do with stress and our emotions. Maybe throw something about hormones in there." She looked up at him with her knowledgeable eyes, pools that held equal amounts defiance and pride, that held much more of something, something, something.
***
Annabeth Chase was having a good day. She woke up to the smell of pancakes and hushed whispers outside her door. Her boyfriend and her father were waiting for her tell tale sign before they came barging in. With a soft smile she clicked play on her phone and let the opening notes of Last Dance fill her room, her head, her smile.
The door eased open, floppy black hair and ocean eyes peeking at her. With a troublemakers smile he sprinted for the bed and flopped over her.
"Happy birthday Wise Girl,"
"Thank you," She kissed his forehead and then smiled up at the adult walking in.
"Happy Birthday sweetheart," He said softly holding out a plate with a ring of cupcakes and a single candle in the middle.
"Eighteen huh?"
"Don't remind me, I think I can already feel my bones creaking."
"That's not your bones, your machine body just needs some oil." Percy said cheekily.
She shoved his face away but laughed, "If I was a machine I would have my degree by now,"
"How about finishing high school first? Life is just beginning." Her dad sat down beside her.
"I know I know, just sometimes feel like I've been dreaming about living it for so long it's hard to imagine waiting even a second more."
"Well I'll be here to help you past the time," Percy grinned at her before swiping a cupcake and shoving the entire thing into his mouth.
"I know you will." She grabbed his hand.
"Annabeth," He cried, watching as she walked down the steps and out out out.
"Life," She sighed, gripping the handle of her bag and walking towards the gate and into the world beyond.
What is a dream?
A 21 year old Percy Jackson asked.
And the boy in the mirror gave him a broken look and said, "It is the alternative ending."
He closed his eyes, lifted his face to the skies.
"Why do we have bad dreams?"
"Some endings are not so happy,"
That night Percy Jackson went to sleep and watched storm clouds and lightning dance behind his eyes. Who was this person and why did they have no feeling at all?
***
Jason Grace did not expect to see a boy in a blue hoodie and faded jeans strolling through his secret garden but it seemed this bright breezy morning was ripe with surprise.
"Hey," He called
The boy startled and then turned towards him and the breath knocked clean from his lungs. He had never seen someone so full of the world. Ocean eyes and coffee skin. Midnight hair and forest heights.
"Uh hi, sorry I didn't think anyone was here,"
"I didn't either. How did you find this place?"
"By accident mostly," He flushed, "I didn't mean to disturb you I just got lost in thought."
"It's okay, this is a good place to think. To just be." He gave him a reassuring smile.
"Well I guess I should get out of your way,"
"Why don't you stay a little longer, we can get lost in thought together?"
And as he came closer, as he sat down on the cool grass, offering a shy smile the world fell off his shoulders and landed in their palms, holding together, together, together.
"Jason," He grinned.
"Percy," He sighed, hugging him tighter.
 Jason Grace layed down a blanket and intertwined his fingers with his boyfriend’s long supple one’s. Today they celebrate the day they first met in the little garden tucked away in a little park.
”Happy anniversary Percy,”
He smiled that heart-breaker’s smile and kissed him.
“I cannot believe it’s been two years,”
“Time is not real when you don’t have to keep track of it,” He mumbled, kissing golden knuckles.
Even all these years later he still looked like the world. Although maybe it was the world who looked like him. With those clear bright eyes and unbreakable will. With that never-ending steady loyalty and the warmth of a thousand suns.
“Where are you?” He asked Jason.
“I am lost in thought,” He smiled into the closing space between them.
“Can we get lost together?”
“We have been that way since the stars started shining.”
What is a dream?
A 25 year old Percy Jackson asked.
And the boy with lightning eyes gave him a curious smile and said "Us."
He grinned, bright and unrestrained, the answer settling in his bones.
Us.
He had been searching his whole life for that word. Sometimes it takes two people in order for it to be true. Shakespeare did not make a word because he wrote it. He made one because he said it and someone echoed.
"Yes. We are a dream." He nodded, holding his hand to that electric heart.
"Are we a good one?" A whisper floated between them.
"We are the only one, my love."
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otdderamin · 5 years
Text
Analysis: The hidden pain of Jester and Scanlan – CR C2 Ep76 and CR C1 Ep85
Spoilers for Campaign 1 through episode 85 and Campaign 2 through episode 76
One thing I really love about Critical Role from both campaigns is the way they show that the seemingly happy, jokey, funny, delightful people are really using that as a mask for a lot of pain and insecurity that they're either hiding or repressing and that can't last forever.
Scanlan was hurt and angry that no one asked about his issues seriously or asked what he needed, but he also buried everything and deflected when they did ask about him. He wanted to be seen and understood, but all he gave them was a facade of being fine. Until he broke.
Jester's playing with the same idea in a different way. She learned being seen is bad and her purpose is making other people happy. Her own desires aren't really important. She's afraid she'll disappoint everyone if she admits she's not okay (even to herself), so she buries it.
Both The Mighty Nein and a lot of the audience are kind of infantilizing her, largely ignoring her pain and complexity. Laura does not get enough credit for her roleplaying because I think that's the impression Jester is intentionally cultivating out of deep insecurity.
Misogyny is also a factor. She leans into a lot of ditzy, simple, girly tropes that are largely written off by men and many women as shallow. Laura is really playing with them to show there actually is a lot of depth there. But you have to be willing to deconstruct her to see it.
Jester wants to actively bring joy to people's lives because she's afraid that she won't be wanted if she doesn't. So, she's cultivated this happy, mischievous mask to hide behind and she's trapped herself behind it. She doesn't even want to see herself without it.
Just as much as Fjord trapped himself behind the faux-Vandran mask until he had a breakdown. Or Beau trapped herself behind the no-fucks-given mask she's been working really hard to set aside. Or Caleb trapped himself behind his bandages and bum disguise until his cover was blown.
But Jester's mask is harder to see around. She seems open and carefree and happy. Almost everyone in the Mighty Nein wants to feel that way and they're invested in the aspirational illusion. They really want one of them to be okay because maybe then they could learn, too.
 T: Full scene from Campaign 1 Episode 45
2:30:57 Vax: "How do you do it? You're risking your life as much as anyone in this group. You're almost dying every day. You're fucking smiling all the time. How do you do it?"
Liam: "I'm kind of asking as Liam to Sam, as well. But mostly as Vax to Scanlan."
Vax: "How do you do it? You almost died yesterday, as well. Or two days ago, fuck. Why do you do it?"
Scanlan, as if it's obvious: "Vax, I… I don't know. I mean, I just… I like you people okay. Everything before this was not as good. This is better, that's why. It's very simple. You had a shitty childhood, didn't you?"
Vax: "Yeah."
Scanlan: "You and the sister."
Vax: "Yeah."
Scanlan: "I think Grog had some troubles. We've all had our share of shit, before we all met. Now we're together. We're a family. This is better, that's how I smile. It's better than it was before. That's it."
Vax: "We're probably going to die in the next month."
Scanlan: "Yes, but it's fun while it lasts."
Vax looks at him in disbelief and bewilderment.
Scanlan gives a contented sigh.
Vax, dubiously: "Alright. I thought I might…"
Scanlan: "Glean some wisdom?"
Vax: "Yeah, but I'm just as confused as before."
Scanlan: "Listen, I'm older than you."
Vax: "How much older?"
Scanlan: "A bit. I've seen more than you have, and… it's all shitty, so it just depends on how you look at it. You can dwell on the shit, or you can just leave it behind in people's beds and keep going."
 But of course, Scanlan couldn't do it forever. He couldn't actually just leave all that shit behind him. He couldn't laugh all of it off. He reached the tipping point where he was too scared and hurt and angry to keep going.
Beau's started to see Jester's cracks and say something, most notably in episode 45 (4:55:48) and 46 (1:25:15), but she doesn't seem know how to address it without Jester pushing the concern away and deflecting, and I think she's scared Jester will pull away from her if she presses the matter. Beau might have the best chance, though.
Caleb tried to talk to her In episode 42 (1:08:49), but the conversation derailed almost instantly. She did express her fear she would never see her mother again, and that she was unsure about her feelings towards Fjord or his towards her, but again the conversation turned to other things fairly quickly. Still, it was more than she'd really shared before.
Jester actually showed her vulnerability and insecurity to Fjord in episode 72. but he was too up his own butt focused on his own rapidly spiraling break down to really notice or address it. Hopefully he keeps it in mind and circles back now that he's pulled through it.
 Campaign 2 Episode 72
2:49:51 Fjord: "I just feel like there's more out there. It's always more. Even Port Demali and before that, my world just got bigger and bigger and bigger, and more time goes on the more you realize there is and the more that we affect and the more we can be affected. And there's a part of me that wants to leave it all behind..."
Jester: "And just somewhere quiet and disappear, and hope that it never bothers you again?"
Fjord: "Yeah."
Jester: "yeah, I understand that."
Fjord: "I just don't think it will let me."
 Caduceus might be able to help if he understood, but Jester is baffling to him.
 Talks Machina for Campaign 2 Episode 50
0:51:24 Taliesin: "[Caduceus] hasn't figured out that Jester is an adult yet. He doesn't regard her as an adult. I mean, which is, he kind of, his whole thing with her is very childish and playful and is not really... [...] He hasn't figured out that she's probably got-- I mean, he's aware that there's other stuff going on, but he hasn't really gone looking for it yet, so... He's like, 'Aw, she's happy and fine. Good. Thank god somebody is.' And obviously that's not true. And he should know better, but he hasn't gone looking for it."
Dani: "He has bigger fish to fry at the moment."
Taliesin: "I mean, the angsty boys are very angsty, and they currently have one emo girl to deal with as well."
It appears from the last episode that Caduceus has finally figured out there's more going on with Jester and is trying to make up for what he didn't see before. He let her know he saw through her sadness. Maybe he'll be able to be someone she can come to when she's ready to talk.
Campaign 2 Episode 76
4:44:05 Caduceus: "You okay?"
Jester: "Me?"
Caduceus: "Yeah you."
Jester: "Oh yeah. I'm fine. I'm always fine."
Caduceus: "Well…"
Jester: "That's a lie."
Caduceus: "Nobody's always fine."
Jester: "That's a lie, Caduceus."
Caduceus: "You do a lot."
Jester: "Yeah."
Caduceus: "And I don't think you necessarily get as much credit as you deserve, as often as you should. You deserve… more pastries."
Jester, laughing: "Everybody deserves more pastries."
Caduceus: "Yeah, but you do."
Jester smiles sadly: "Thanks, Caduceus."
Caduceus: "Well, we'll be figuring out your Traveler Con soon enough, I'm sure."
Jester: "Yeah. We're gonna work- that's gonna be really cool, right?"
Caduceus: "You got a good crew for it, so…"
Jester: "Yeah."
Caduceus: "We're here for you."
Jester: "Thank you."
Caduceus: "Thank you. You've done… I don't even know how to tell you what this has meant."
Jester has been ignored in part because she seemed… not fine, but less of an immediate and impending disaster than the others. Now that things are settling down with everyone else, I think they're trying to do right by her and support her better. Time will tell if she lets them in.
No one in Campaign 2 is playing an easy character. No one is playing someone who's well adjusted and fine. No one has their shit figured out. At best they've learned pieces or ways of learning how to be more okay with the tumult. Jester is far come complex than she tries to appear.
Her arc is coming up soon and whatever happens will come with big growth and change for her. The big difference (or similarities) in how the stories of these two characters will play out will come down to how well their friends see behind the mask. Vox Machina didn't until it was too late. The Might Nein might be beginning to, and if they keep at it, that will make all the difference.
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annakie · 6 years
Text
I made it, and now there's no turning back
Hey, so, this is about to be a very long, spammy post about Critical Role season 1.  This is mostly for my own memory, so in the future when I want to revisit watching the show, I'll have my own log, of sorts.  It's really long.  And a lot of it is my chatlogs about the show with @janiemcpants , posted with her permission.   So if you hate reading other people's chatlogs, this may not be the post for you.
But if you wanna read a lot of words about a show where some nerdy-ass voice actors play Dungeons and Dragons, this may be the post for you.
Also, for unknown reasons, I’ve had Jimmy Eat World’s song “Cut” stuck in my head the last couple of days, and it’s basically all I’ve listened to today.  The words don’t really fit my emotions, but the overall feeling the song gives me does.  So that’s where my head is.  
I said some of this an a post I made a few weeks ago, but I’m saying it again now.  Ever since I heard of it, I was pretty sure I’d love Critical Role if I could get into it.  And so for two years I meant to catch up.  
I’ve played Dungeons and Dragons since the late 90′s, second edition, and have been in epic campaigns of my own before where I fell in love with not only my character but our entire party.  I love this party just as much as I’ve loved Annotea, Sekhar, Ike, Ta’Rik, Annwyl, Krivken, Liek, Colin, E’a and Rhyz.
I have looked for a post I made like a year and a half ago asking for help figuring out how to get into Critical Role on my blog a few times but either I tagged it badly or deleted it.  I don't know.  I remember some people said to start at episode 19. Some people said to use it as background sound when cleaning / cooking / driving etc.  I knew I didn't want to start midway through the part of the story we had, I was disappointed to learn they were already 8th level and we'd missed like two years of story before the show.
I have a post from June 2016 saying I'd made it an hour into the first episode, but I think I finished that ep, or got close, and didn't pick it back up for like, another year.  I think it was like mid-summer last year when I made my second push to get into it.  
I made it through like eight episodes, and I remember having episode 8 up in a web browser for weeks or a couple of months and things were just so crazy with everything happening with work at the end of the year.  And I only watched it as background noise at work.  I'd frequently realize I had no idea what was going on, and through like the first 30 or 40 episodes I'd find some kind of recap to read at the end of the episode to make sure I didn't miss anything important.
Here's some negativity, so skip it if you'd like: It took me a very long time to get through like episode 10 to 27 because long before I learned all the things that happened since he left, I couldn't stand Orion.  I've looked into it a bit and basically for all the normal reasons people didn't like him.  I respect that some people did, but being honest here, if he'd have stayed on the show, I probably would have stopped watching.  Around episode 20 I learned that he'd leave soon, and dragged myself through the rest of the episodes until he was gone.  And then, it was much easier to get into.
The first half of this year my job went from crazy drama to just plain boring.  I really didn't have much to do, and everyone knew I was just biding time until it was time to go.  So I'd watch like half the day sometimes, often while doing what work I did have to do.  But often that work was like, wiping laptops or organizing keys or just... busywork.  But CR made the days pass quicker, and it was enjoyable.
The Feels apparently really started on 3/09 when I sent this to JanieMcPants: Grog winning his second solo battle with the orc JUST BARELY thanks to Scanlan's sneaky inspiration is my new favorite moment in the show.
This would begin a very long chatlog of me just yelling feelings at her.  After this, my current comments are italicized. 
---------- 03/10/2018 janiemcpants: That whole episode is SPECTACULAR Did you finish it? I don't want to spoil anything if not!
annakie: I did, I got to the part in the next episode where Percy finally confessed a bit of what is going on with his life since they're back home and have been invited to some feast.  Still pretty early on in that ep, work got crazy yesterday. :)
---------- 03/23/2018 annakie: Man, I'm on ep 26 now (I watch in bits and bursts as I have time at work, it's real slow going) and I have to say, (I deleted some negativity about Orion here).  EVERYTHING ELSE IS GREAT though. I'm really enjoying everyone else and their characters.  The episode with the dinner at the Briarwood's was AMAZING especially and I'm so worried about Percy.  I was almost in tears as Liam was talking about him thinking about Keyleth and Vex when Vax was going unconscious and thought he was going to die.  That was so, so good.
BTW did I just miss it all this time that Vax has a thing for Keyleth?  Like I didn't notice it at all until that moment he was going unconscious and now it's obvious.
janiemcpants: Vax’s last thoughts about Vex and Keyleth KILLED. ME. That was also the first time I realized he was into Keyleth, and I think it was the first time any of the others realized it, judging by their faces. Liam did say later that he already was aware of it when the show started, and he dropped a few hints before he outright said it. I’m listening to the podcast right now from the beginning and there are some little things there that you can pick up if you’re looking for them, but nothing that would have given it away, I don’t think. So it was a fun surprise for everybody. (Vax and Keyleth are one of my favorite pairings on the show. I just love them.) This arc is THE BEST and so intense. So much suffering, but also so much goodness!
(We chatted more for awhile about Percy, and the cow episode (Very fun!) )
---------- 04/12/2018 annakie: OH MY GOD SO MUCH IS HAPPENING CASSANDRA IS ALIVE AND VAX IS KISSING KEYLETH. This is so good.  SO GOOD.
janiemcpants: I didn't see that kiss coming AT ALL It was SUCH A DELIGHTFUL SURPRISE And Percy gets one sibling back, MY HEART
---------- 05/02/2018 annakie: I've been studying a lot and haven't had a lot of time for CritRole but I watched some today like the END OF THE BRIARWOODS HECK YEAH and Cassandra is good again, and then VAX TRYING TO HOLD KEYLETH'S HAND ON THE TREE and she didn't know how to respond she's so awkward and unsure and needs time to figure it out. I was sitting there just staring at the screen instead of working for like 20 minutes during that part haha. 
And I watched the winter fair episode with Trinket winning the pie eating contest and Grog losing arm wrestling to Trish the Dish and that was GREAT.  I stopped like right after Matt had Tiberius leave the party for good.  It was a very good day of very awesome CritRole at work. :)
janiemcpants: Keyleth and Vax just KILL ME. It's such a slow burn until suddenly STUFF HAPPENS and then it slows down again and pulls at my heartstrings the entire time.
---------- 05/17/2018 annakie: "I don't want to be alone tonight."
"I haven't wanted to be alone most nights..."  And I let him in. THE SHIP HAS SAILED.  YAY!! :D
annakie: Haha aww Marisha switched seats so she could be closer to Liam, that's sweet.
lol of COURSE the VERY NEXT DAY they see Kashaw again. And Will sits on the other side of Marisha... that's great.
janiemcpants Yay!!! They’re the slowest of slow burns but it’s so worth it. Liam and Marisha manage to be adorable even when they’re seated far away from each other. And yay to Kashaw coming back! I had mixed feelings about him at first, because the second Trial of the Take group had a blend of personalities that was tough to work with, and he got lost in the sea of grouchiness. But he ended up being great and every time he comes back I love him more.
(I'd grow to feel the same way about Kashaw.)
---------- 05/29/2018 annakie: Episode 44 - Oh my gosh, there was a beholder fight AND NOW VEX IS DEAD WHAT IS HAPPENING? And yeah, I think Kashaw is definitely more stand-out-y here, I'm really enjoying his character here. :)
annakie Keyleth: "Why did you do that?  Kashaw: "Because I knew you wanted me to."  D'awwww....
janiemcpants: AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH Vex’s death there kills me extra because it comes AFTER they win the fight! Everything is supposed to be okay, and then NOPE. THANK GOODNESS Kash was there. They're so lucky he happened to be their guest that night!
I mean, they probably could have come up with another way to save her, but being able to do it right away was a relief. And it was a great character moment for him
--------- 6/15/2018 I made this post, and I was at episode 49.
----------
A lot happened, and I didn't yell about it much of anywhere. I don't know how I let 20 episodes go by without reacting much to them, especially when SO MUCH HAPPENED in there. Right about when the Chroma Conclave hit, I knew I was sucked in, completely.  
But in a month and a half I made it through 14 episodes.  Near the end of July, things started happening very quickly.  
---------- 07/27/2018 annakie: I'm on episode 63 now and I just realized today I'm JUST BARELY over halfway through this campaign. Which makes me both happy and not, haha.
Woah Tiberius.  This actually sad. :(
That was really rough and I cried a little.
janiemcpants: TIBS That was so sad All of it was, but "I encourage peace" really got me And when I rewatched it and realize that's what Percy's DM whisper was about, and you can see it on his face and then he has to sit on it for like 20 minutes AUGH
07/28/2018 annakie: Oh man I'm going to have to go back and watch that again.  I was touched at how sad EVERYONE was.   And yeah, the burial part and "I encourage peace" got me too.  It's always sad to lose a friend, but also Tibs defending Draconia was really the perfect ending for his character.
I started ep 65 and YAY. FINALLY.  KEYLETH AND VAX.  FOR REALS. I have LOVED the slow-burn of the last 40 episodes but I'm glad they're moving into an actual relationship now.
I got spoiled about Vex and Percy just the other day (No one's fault, someone I follow on twitter liked a tweet, which twitter OH SO HELPFULLY put on my timeline.  So, it's twitter's fault.)   There have already been some hints that it's coming with Vex's titling and all, but I'm looking forward to it.
(Getting spoiled accidentally about that was my "OK TIME TO CLAMP DOWN ON SPOILERS!!" wakeup call -- especially since that Really Big Thing happened in Campaign 2 right about then and despite trying real hard to not be spoiled I know all about it.)
And Scanlan, what character growth with his speech to Pike a couple of episodes ago, apologizing for the proposal and realizing he was more in love with the idea of Pike, even though he does really love her, so proud of that boy.  And the note he gave Pike awhile ago for if he dies AND SHE READ IMMEDIATELY.  That was like the first real sign she's given.  The only thing that's bothered me about Scanlan, (who is probably my favorite, though I love THEM ALL) is that he was nice-guying / trying to wear Pike down this whole time, albeit in a charming way, and now he gets that, so YAY!
---------- 07/28/2018 annakie Watching 65, and having Matt torture Marisha by having Kashaw ask Keyleth out the night after she finally gets together with Vax is masterful.  Haha
Awww Gilmore's parents, so sweet.  And then Sam "Well, they're both over 70, so who's going to kill them?" buhahahahaha
07/29/2018 annakie: Oh my God, episode 68.  I'm bawling.  I obviously know Percy will be back but this was really, really, really rough.  Taliesin took it better than anyone.  Matt seemed just as devastated as everyone else.  Marisha's crying made me cry. 
That ending, with everyone gathering around Ripley and each doing their own killing blow for Percy.... it was so, so, SO GOOD.
I hope the internet wasn't too hard on Matt that week.
(I really did bawl about Percy's death.  That's when the show went from “I love this” to "This is masterful.  This is amazing. This might be elevated to rank of "FAVORITE THINGS!" 
This is also when I started watching at home -- because I had to know what was going to happen.  And because I realized that this show will MAKE ME CRY and I can't cry at work.  I also started watching on the weekends, basically as much as I could, every night, all Saturday and Sunday when possible.)
janiemcpants: Keyleth and Vax took a while, but I think they played out perfectly in the end :) I’m so happy the way the official couples turned out, because they’re all so different and so great in their own way. Truly something for everyone! (Vax and Keyleth are my favorites, but I don’t think I have ANY NoTPs, which is awesome.) When I first started the show, I thought I was going to HATE Scanlan, specifically because of the nice-guy thing. But then that sort of started to taper off and he won me over anyway, and I was so happy that he actually realized what was going on and apologized for it. Especially since I love their relationship, as she’s more or less the group’s moral compass, but he’s also basically the group dad--the one who keeps the to-do list and helps everyone keep their shit together (even if it’s not in the most conventional way). Thank goodness he finally realized it was more important to keep her as a friend than to keep trying for romance and probably eventually lose her by being a shithead.
68/69 are two of my favorite episodes, and two of the very hardest to watch Rough, but really emotionally and narratively satisfying
---------
7/21/2018
I made this post,  My first big feelings post.
---------------
08/03/2018 annakie: I JUST FINISHED 78.  SO MANY FEELINGS!  VEX ANSWERING THE DOOR NAKED.  THE WHOLE PLANNING.  GILMORE IS WITH THEM!  AND OH MY GOD KASH AND ZARAH PLS DON'T DIE BUT IF YOU DO SACRIFICING YOURSELF LIKE THIS IS AMAZING, I LOVE YOU. Also I'm now watching Talks Machina too so each episode is an hour longer!
08/05/2018 annakie: OH MY GOD SCANLAN.  THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE THAN PERCY. I DIDN'T THINK IT COULD GET WORSE I AM BAWLING AT PIKE'S POEM OH THANK GOD SHE ROLLED A NATURAL 20
Liam breaking during Pike's poem double killed me
I'm also so glad Ashley could be here for this one. I wish Sam was.
Also I'm SO GLAD Keyleth was so amazing last episode, both the feeblemind (totally, 100% saving this fight) and spotting Kima and Allora in the ocean.  Just MVP'd the hell out of that ep.
janiemcpants: OH MAN that feeblemind!!! And I’m so glad it was Keyleth who landed such a huge blow on Raishan. And spotting Kima and Allura was such a HUGE RELIEF. What an emotional rollercoaster that episode was. I’m convinced the dice themselves have a sense of drama. That’s the only way to explain some of the narratively amazing 1s and 20s we’ve gotten
annakie: Oh my God, I know.  Just absolutely insane.  THAT NAT 20 MERCER ROLLED FOR THE FINAL RESURRECTION ROLL OMG
I didn't stop for Talks Machina between those eps.  I couldn't, I had to see what happened.  I'm so glad this entire ep was so laid back after the resurrection. 
This show... I'm so, so mad I wasn't into it from the beginning.  On the other hand, having to wait a week between THOSE EPISODES would have been the worst.
janiemcpants: IT WAS It's so good that they generally have breather episodes once something huge is over with, because I don't think I could handle the tension otherwise
---------- 08/06/2018 annakie: WHAT THE FUCK I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE FUN AND HAPPY AND EVERYTHING IS TERRIBLE. I had to stop watching at work
Because I started crying a little and then Percy gave his speech and I almost lost it haha That's where I am right now, raced home from lunch to watch the rest of this where I could cry
janiemcpants: Are you on episode 85? That one really hit like a slap in the face
annakie: Yep!
janiemcpants: That's the only one I think I won't be able to watch again
(I made this post.)
annakie: He's gone now, they're awake the next morning. Like I knew he was leaving but I thought it wouldn't be THIS TERRIBLE.  I thought it’d be like “Hey guys I’m taking some time off, love you, bye!” but nooooo.
janiemcpants: And it really felt like it came out of nowhere!
annakie: But also props to Sam because that was such a good representation of depression.
Like I really understood where it was coming from but yeah you really didn't expect THAT.
janiemcpants: Yeah, he's definitely not afraid to take risks and let his character be imperfect, and he had some good points and some not so good points in a very realistic way But BOY was that hard to watch
annakie: Yeah exactly.  Like, yelling that nobody cares about him.... that they don't love him.... I have felt that way about people who I absolutely knew loved me and that just shook me.  It was just... so... real.  And the way everyone reacted.  Man I just wish Ashley had been there.
I already know Sam plays someone else for awhile and eventually, Scanlan comes back but man... again... so glad I don't have to wait to KNOW THAT.
janiemcpants: You're lucky you know that! I totally thought he was gone for good Are you at the end of the episode, or still going?
annakie: Still going, they're at Whitestone still the next morning deciding what to do next.  Keyleth just scryed on Scanlan and Kaylee.
Grog: "I know you on a more intimiate level."  Vex: "Because you saw my titties."  Grog: Basically, yeah.
Real question: Can I watch the rest of this episode and maybe next without crying, so I can finish it at work, or should I not?  Gotta head back in a few minutes
Oh heeey it's already Sam's new character. :)
janiemcpants You can probably finish it up Since you met Sam's new character and he's pretty good And the next one has a lot of funny stuff in it
---------- 08/07/2018 annakie Episode 88:  The Kraken Fight.  FIVE AND A HALF HOURS (more like five after the break BUT STILL.)  I feel like I was watching this episode for a week.
janiemcpants That was intense! Them not being able to kill the kraken really added some stress to the fight Although they might not have been able to anyway
08/08/2018 annakie Yeah!  That added a whole crazy layer onto it!  I was pretty sure there would be more deaths than just Vax.  Not that him dying wasn't bad, but you know.  I think I'm becoming desensitized to the deaths because I didn't cry during his resurrection.  Also, poor Ashley, it feels like every time she's there lately it's to resurrect someone.
Finished Ep 90 this afternoon, Keyleth's Aramente ceremony was really good. :)
Also Grog and Tary potion shopping, I laughed so hard at work and had to keep it quiet, I'm sure my coworkers think I'm a maniac.
Ep 91 - Vox Machina Go To Hell... sounds amazing.  Just starting.
janiemcpants: Grog and Tary shopping was a total trash fire and it was so great And Vox Machina Go to Hell was such a good title! And a good episode!
---------- 08/11/2018
annakie: Ep 95!  Past the time skip!  The last two have been SO MUCH FUN and just what we needed after all the sadness and tension!  And YAY ASHLEY IS HERE FOR AWHILE.  SHE'S GETTING A STORYLINE!  Also I love Tary so much now, that character growth! :D  But I only have 20 episodes left noooooo
(later that night)...I should probably be doing other things with my life other than watching CR + Talks Machina but I'm already on 98.  Clearly Tary is leaving soon, it's neat to meet his family and all, though.  I'm gonna miss him.  I thought Tary would just be like... a filler character. But he's so great.  So.   Great.
---------- 08/12/2018
annakie: OH GOD IT'S SCANLAN HE'S BACK I'M DYING (also I'm real sad Tary is leaving soon, the conflict of emotions!).  I JUST got to the part where Vex runs up and hugs him and they go to break I'M CRYING.
annakie: EVERYTHING HURTS but Jon Heder's character is hilarious
janiemcpants: Oh no, goodbye Tary! Tary was a cross between Gilderoy Lockhart and a J Peterman catalog and I absolutely adored him, but it’s so good to have Scanlan back I wasn’t sure what to expect from Jon Heder, because I’d only seen him in Napoleon Dynamite and didn’t like it, but he was so great in this
annakie: Oh man I missed him so much.  He's having to apologize SO MUCH.  Poor Sam, haha.  The Talks Machina with him, Ashley and Laura was great, though and Laura saying Travis was too emotional to go on the show was so.... awwww.  I'm into ep 100 now  Yay the new look!  AND LADY BRIARWOOD IS BACK WHAT THE WHAAAT.  And Poor, poor Sam having to play three characters, though, he did this to himself. :D
--------- 8/13/2018 annakie (about the first Vecna fight): That shoulda just been called "Vox Machina gets their asses kicked." Vaaaaax
Scanlan MVP'd the hell out of that fight though No time for Talks Machina, I'll do that at work tomorrow, RIGHT ON TO 103!
janiemcpants: Episode 102 was an ABSOLUTE DISASTER Thank goodness Scanlan came back when he did!
Although I did enjoy everyone guilt tripping Sam for making him leave
And then THE ENDING
annakie: GOD EVERYTHING ABOUT IT. ALL OF THIS.  I NEED TO PAUSE TIME SO I DON'T NEED TO SLEEP AND CAN JUST WATCH CR STRAIGHT THROUGH FOREVER UNTIL IT'S OVER. These are disaster children and they are terrible I love them.
(I made this post.)
janiemcpants: I had to laugh at your last post because that's exactly what it's like! There's SO MUCH in each episode it's almost impossible to post about it. TOO MANY FEELINGS
And not enough time!
I think this last arc has really good flow to it You can feel the urgency, but it still gives things the time they deserve
annakie: It really is!  Like you know if I had a week between episodes than it'd be way easier to sort but I can't take any time I have to watch as much as I can now. I'm at the part where they're trying to sort out why Vax is back and I WANT TO DIE.
janiemcpants: WASN'T THAT A CURVEBALL I was expecting a tense, elaborate ritual like the others got, and they were planning for it, but nope! We're skipping that part
annakie: I read something like a tweet or untagged post MONTHS ago about Scanlan not being able to save Vax.  So when he got disintegrated I was like "Oh this is that that meant." and now I'm like "OH SHIT NO IT WASN'T, WAS IT?!"  I'm scared.
(Oh, you sweet summer child, you have no idea what you’re in for.)
janiemcpants I just love how Vax getting disintegrated totally changed the context of everything that happens, but not in the way anyone expected Matt's mind is truly a place of wonder
annakie: Also Yay Grog just asked Scanlan to hang out with him in Vasselheim :3 Nothing like a terrifying near-death experience to spread some forgiveness.
TRAVIS + SAM IS THE BEST, WHETHER IT'S SCANLAN OR TARY.
--------- 8/14/2018 annakie Me today: OK my boss asked me to go to this important meeting and take notes I need to concentrate.
What I actually thought about : SERENRAE GAVE PIKE A SPECIAL BLESSING AND LOVES HER SO MUCH AND ALSO TOLD SCANLAN SHE HEARS HIS PRAYERS AND HE IS A TRUE BELIEVER, HE HAS A HOLY SYMBOL AND FOUND HIS WAY TO THE TOWER HIMSELF WE ARE SO BLESSED. REMEMBER SAM AND ASHLEY'S FACES THROUGH ALL OF THAT IT WAS PERFECT.
Also Scanlans face when. Grog mentioned that he was looking for Scanlan, the moment passed so fast but I cried.
(later that night) annakie: I'm so mad I have to run my own game tonight so all I'm gonna have time to watch is to the end of 104 Glad I prepped my game a week or two ago though
janiemcpants: THEIR MEETING WITH SERENRAE, I WEEP It’s just so good to see both a character who’s been so devoted but struggled with it at the same time, and a character who had to develop so much to get there, actually be seen and acknowledged by their god
annakie: I REWATCHED IT WHEN I GOT HOME
janiemcpants: What a great moment for both of them
annakie: SO amazing, I loved it so much.
janiemcpants: Also, I love how it doesn’t even matter how the group splits up, any combination of them is going to be interesting and fun (But especially Sam and Travis because of their shared delight in chaos)
annakie: I'm RIGHT NOW at the part where everyone is talking about Vex to Pelor and OH SHIT SHE AND PERCY ARE BETHROTHED THAT'S THE SECRET YES that's so true every pair is amazing
Also once again Scanlan MVPs this, with his polymorph on Vex
janiemcpants: It's truly astounding how many times Scanlan single-handedly saves their bacon
annakie: Yeah as much as I loved Tary like... they really NEEDED Scanlan.
janiemcpants: They really did I wish they could have both!
annakie: When I rewatched the Serenrae meeting I watched Ashley's face and every time Scanlan did something positive like made it to the tower or Serenrae acknowledged Scanlan as a true believer Ash's face was just amazing. She's so pleased at Scanlan :3
janiemcpants: Ashley's just so good
annakie: I KNOW, ME TOO.  I peeked and saw that we don't see Tary again and I'm sad!  I hope he gets an epilogue!
Also I NEED VOX MACHINA PEOPLE TO ACKNOWLEDGE HOW GREAT SCANLAN IS BEING HERE.
Last Tuesday at 11:24 PM *screaming into the void* http://blog.annakie.com/post/177011924723/critical-role-stuff-spoilers-up-to-ep
--------- 8/15/2018
janiemcpants Everything you said is SO TRUE And I still just can't believe how Sam took what was meant to be a joke* and turned him into this incredible three-dimensional person who never fails to surprise me. Will he turn into a dinosaur and destroy a building? Will he sing at the giant monster instead of fleeing like everyone else? Will he melt my heart with beautiful words about friendship? Will he devastate my emotions when he stops covering up his pain? Will he make a dick joke? We never know! And he's grown so much! *(Apologies if you already knew this, but when they were getting ready for the original one-shot home game that started all this, Sam had never played before, and Liam helped him pick out his character. Sam said he wanted to be the worst, and asked what the worst character would be, and Liam came up with gnome bard. And here we are. That was all captured on the podcast they sporadically do together and it's pretty funny.)
annakie Hilariously, I just found that out about Liam helping create Scanlan an hour ago.  On the episode of Talks I was watching at work Sam kept mentioning his Reddit AMA and so I googled it and read it, literally an hour ago.  So if I would have seen this earlier, it would have been new information! And YES SO MUCH I AGREE.
Like I love them ALL so much but I mean... Scanlan.  Fucking Scanlan.  Fave.  Sorry.
(Later) annakie Darin DePaul is hilarious lol I was like "Uh who is this?" when he showed up but he keeps making me laugh.  I'm still in the initial fight right after they find Sprigg
janiemcpants Fun fact: Darin de Paul played D&D thirty something years ago with Matt's mom, and Sprigg is the character he played back then I think that old session ended with Sprigg disappearing or something, so this is the continuation of his story, set thirty-whatever years later He’s really terrific, though! I only knew him from Overwatch, but I get such a kick out of him here
annakie OMG, that's awesome!  Thank you for that fun fact!  I was wondering if he ever played before, he seemed to get it pretty quick with only a little help from Sam. He's saying goodbye now, aww, such a good end for a fun character!
annakie Oh good, Ioun told Scanlan how awesome and important he is to VM and Kaylee and in general, I feel better now. I'm a little sad that I guess Ioun is his god now I guess and not Serenrae but it also seems fitting.
8/16/2018 janiemcpants Yeah, I was surprised by that, but in the end I think I'm glad he got his own god who appreciates him, rather than being wrapped up in Pike's story Not that Serenrae didn't appreciate him, but I like that he got something of his own
annakie That is so true!!  Like Serenrae gave him comfort when he needed it, and accepted him, but he prayed to her because it's what he knew because of Pike, but I think he didn't do it FOR Pike. But it turns out Scanlan wasn't destined for Serenrae.
Also I meant to mention awhile ago that I really loved Percy holding everything together after Vax died and they were in the Feywild.  He really stepped up and kept everything from falling apart and I was really proud of him.
Scanlan being constantly dismissive of them talking about Tary is hilarious.  "Scanlan can you scry on Tary?"  "Who? Oh... you mean that fancy fellow?" haha
(Later) annakie Oh yay I'm glad they sent word to Tary that everyone is OK.
janiemcpants Yes!! I was so concerned about poor Tary. The necklace is a good idea in theory, but in reality all it does is tell him something is wrong, but he doesn't know what or how he can help What an anxiety-inducing item!
Also yes to Percy! His growth is really inspiring to me on a personal level (all of theirs are in different ways, but he's the most relatable to me personally) I love how, since they're all so different and grow in different ways, there's a good story there for everyone
--------- 8/17/2018 9:07 PM annakie Just finished the ep where they forge the trammels.  Starting to close in on the endgame :o
annakie OH MY GOD... hahaha using the love potion TARY gave Vax to prank SCANLAN, this is amazing, I love it so much.
I CAN'T BREATHE
Last Saturday at 1:15 AM Hi it's 1:14am and I'm still awake because I had to finish this live episode.
--------- 8/18/2018 annakie: In the middle of 112 now, and I have to stop watching to go to my Pathfinder game.... nooo... one of the few times I'm unhappy about going to gaming. :) I think I'm going to be able to finish tomorrow if I just power through and don't stop for Talks.
---------
(And here we go, into the endgame.  I woke up, turned on Critical Role, and knew I'd finish the campaign that day.  In addition to the gifs and posts I made: http://blog.annakie.com/tagged/episode+114, here's the rest of that experience.  I’m not going to link the individual gif posts.)
8/19/2018 12:53 AM annakie: THE STRANGLING WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS
This entire episode is like the most fucked up episode lol
9:21 AM BRIARWOOD FIGHT WITH Joe Manganiello!!!  I'M SO SCARED.
11:58 AM OH MY GOD KAYLEE AND CASSANDRA AND SHAUN THANK GOD THEY STOPPED AND FIXED IT OH MY GOD I'M CRYING
3:17 PM I'm liveblogging.  AND DYING.  ZARAH AND KASH OH THANK SERENRAE!!!
janiemcpants: I was out of town for the weekend and just got home, and I can't believe how fast you're going! Although once you hit a certain point you can't help but tumble unstoppably towards the end, because it's all going so off the rails at once I WAS SO WORRIED FOR KASH AND ZAHRA
annakie: I STILL AM
janiemcpants: And having Cassandra and Gilmore and Kaylee as death knights was a particularly cruel stroke of genius on Matt's part
annakie: Arkhan just got back though, so that's good I guess haha
SO CRUEL
janiemcpants: CAN YOU IMAGINE, if they hadn't left one alive, they might not even have taken their helmets off and they never would have known
annakie: GOD I KNOW I KNOW... That would have just been.... oh man I can't even imagine And thank God Matt let them revivify even though it could have been more than a minute
annakie: There's so much happening I can barely breathe I feel like I've been watching this episode for ten hours already All I've watched is 113 and this today.
janiemcpants: It's probably even better watching it all together like you're doing, because a whole lot of interesting things happen in a not-that-long amount of time There's so much!
annakie: Yeah... I mean TBH for the last month I've just lived this show, I haven't watched any TV shows.  It's been so great to just really LIVE IN IT and there's so much of it especially after taking a year to get to this point.
annakie: Well, it was around the point of Percy dying the really sad time to get to "OK I can't stop watching", that's when I started watching at home and not just at work.  And then I stopped watching at work much after Scanlan left because I was too invested to only sorta pay attention. Yeaaaaah Grog just kicked ass.
janiemcpants: Percy dying was right when I started watching live! I was trying to catch up on the old stuff before I started doing it live, but when I heard that happened I just COULDN’T stay away. What a hell of a pair of episodes those were.
annakie: OH WOW that's awesome!  How many episodes did you skip to get to that point? haha OH ALSO PIKE TELLING SCANLAN HE HAS TO STAY ALIVE BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENS AFTER.  MY HEART. I was a little worried because since she was back she'd hardly interacted with him, except for that butt-slap a few episodes ago and then this conversation happened and I DIED.  (And then Sam joked it was Scanlan2 and I refuse to believe that it wasn't actually real Scanlan, they're dressed different, she would have known.)
(Also in the Vecna fight Real Scanlan had to use the Death Ward Pike put on him so yeah, she said it to Real Scanlan.)
Oh also I found online where Sam posted the letter Scanlan wrote to Pike and OH MAN, TEARS.
janiemcpants: RIGHT?? At the beginning I never thought I'd be invested in Scanlan and Pike's relationship, just because of the nice-guy stuff, but it got really, really good as it went on I still had about 15 episodes or so to go when I started watching it live, so I missed a little bit of context, but it was worth it That letter was so good
annakie: Oh man we just almost lost Vex and the looks on Liam, Travis AND Taliesin's faces all killed me. I can't wait to start watching live, still probably going to be a month or so.
annakie: OH NO THE JENKY TRAMEL.
annakie: PIKE BLEW SCANLAN A KISS!!
annakie: I can't believe I still have an hour to go (probably 45 minutes of game time) and Scanlan and Grog just got banished.  Also I know something bad happens to Grog so I'm just waiting for that.  Maybe he never comes back from banishment!??!
annakie: Hahaha Scanlan dispelled Vecna's teleport and MATT'S FACE. Oh no, he's saying sorry to Liam This is why... “I was going to save Vax.” OH MY GOD  Sam is crying And Liam is crying
janiemcpants: That moment is where I cried the hardest in all of 114 Especially because they called each other Sam and Liam instead of Scanlan and Vax IT'S SO PAINFUL
annakie: THIS HURTS SO MUCH, I’M BAWLING. Most of the table doesn't even see what's going on Like they're having this private moment while the game keeps going.
annakie: Oh God that Nat20 for Scanlan to counterspell dominate person on Keyleth. Could you imagine this fight with Tary instead of Scanlan?  It'd have been over in round 2
annakie: lol I watched Jocks Machina on the D&D twitch channel awhile ago so I knew Arkhan was going to betray them, that's amazing how he did it. Also, so great that Keyleth was able to finish the ritual
annakie: Oh no Sam and Liam are crying at the end this is the worst
annakie: Annnd here we go.  115.
janiemcpants: GOOD LUCK
annakie: I'm really going to miss this credit sequence, I love it so much I always watch it every episode. I've seen the new one and it's cute but I love this one.
janiemcpants I miss it too! It's so good
annakie: I get why they did a more generic "look at us playing D&D" instead of character intro credits but this one is amazing I mean especially after what happened to Taliesin's character in season 2.
annakie: Yay Kash and Zahra :D I'm so glad they got a goodbye. :)  That was a great sendoff!
janiemcpants: It was so good! Even with Liam wreaking emotional havoc
annakie: vax is saying goobye and I'm bawling
even matt is crying, i can't
(I made this post.)
janiemcpants: I cried through that ENTIRE EPISODE
annakie: I'm taking a crying break to watch the fanart Glad Ashley made it just in time for that moment
Oh man this great series of fanart with the quote where Sam asking what's the worst character, and Liam saying gnome bard, and the art is all showing how Scanlan saved the party, that was amazing
annakie: Oh my God Liam isn't even at the table anymore THIS IS SO SAD
janiemcpants: That art sounds fantastic! Must try to hunt it down Oh no, I can't cope when they leave the table
annakie: "We'll fill in each other's gaps, we'll be the glue." THANKS LAURA NOW I'M CRYING AGAIN BECAUSE I LOVE VEX/PERCY SO MUCH.
That even broke Taliesin a little
There's a part of me right now that's still screaming "GO FIND GILMORE AND CASSANDRA AND KAYLEE!"
janiemcpants: I know!!! There's so much they should be doing, all at the same time! HOW IS EVERYBODY??
annakie: Percy just mentioned cassandra, maybe they'll remember lol
NOPE, off to a bar!
Yay Kima's there!
Oh ok good they're in whitestone whew
annakie: GROG NO DON'T PULL CARDS
Oh man Kaylee and Scanlan's conversation, I'm crying again.
janiemcpants: Grog pulling the card was so goddamn funny Especially in the midst of so much sadness
annakie: Oh my God he just pulled the card in whitestone
omgomgomg
AND ASHLEY'S INTERNET DROPS
Annnnnnnnnnnnd this is why they have to go rescue Grog omg omg omg
annakie: Aw, I was almost hoping they'd actually do one last adventure but that was funny.
janiemcpants: Yeah, I really wish we could have seen the rescue, but they were clearly planning on this being the last episode, and it would have thrown everything off But it was worth it
annakie: ASHLEY’S FUCKING INTERNET DIES RIGHT AS SHE'S ABOUT TO ASK SCANLAN ON A DATE I AM SCREAMING I'M SO MAD
Scanlan and Pike’s conversation was everything I always wanted THEN HER INTERNET DIES
annakie OK Scanlan's epilogue was awesome :3 “I will do literally whatever Pike wants to do.”
And YAY we get to hear about Tary!
YAY LAWRENCE!
janiemcpants: I'm so glad Lawrence wasn't dead! I was totally convinced Tary's dad had him whacked
annakie: Oh God Pike’s marriage proposal and one last grog & scanlan conversation I love it so much I'm crying again
I've known they ended up married for a long time but that was great. :3
janiemcpants: I just love that they both planned to ask each other out in their epilogues!
annakie I KNOW, so great :D
I'm really glad that Scanlan let Pike lead, that was amazing.
janiemcpants: Yes! That brought it from great to perfect
annakie: And he just wanted to follow where she went and helped out.  And they have a home, and Grog with them, and are a perfect weird family! :D
They're my favorite ship, though I love all three very much.
janiemcpants: And Grog gets to stay with his gnomes forever! And he's not left alone even though he didn't end up with a romantic relationship!
annakie: YES!
I love Percy and Vax being so Percy and Vax in their epilogue.  Kids with lots of names!  Tinkering!
janiemcpants: The part about Percy making clocks made me weep BUCKETS
annakie: Percy finding redemption helping Cassandra omg
YES
"Make a clock tower, make art and never make another weapon. I'm good." :D
annakie: Aww Grog taking punishment from Vasselheim
Hahaha the potion guy being the tutor ohhhhh my God this is amazing.
This guy never even got a name did he and yet he's brought so much joy
janiemcpants: I don't think he ever did!
annakie: Marisha is making Liam cry this is so sad
janiemcpants: EVERYONE CRIES SO MUCH AND THAT MAKES ME CRY EVEN MORE
annakie: "And every day that Raven comes to visit."
I'm dead.
Oh my God Matt and Marisha get married THE NEXT WEEK!?
janiemcpants:
YEP!
annakie: Well I'm completely emotionally drained.
(We said a bit more here, but it was personal.)
11:28pm:  I made this post. ) -----------------
I couldn't do much yesterday but think about this fucking show.  I'm catching up on the Talks Machinas I missed from like 108 through 115, I think I'm on 111 now?  I also watched Matt Colville's recap of the episode and why it's so great.  I'd been looking forward to watching that since he made it, since I watch most of what he puts out it's been sitting in my suggested videos like for almost every episode I watched.  That was perfect, as well.
I removed some talk about this in the chatlog Janie and I had but I'm going to take like this week off and catch up on the Specials & Oneshots I didn't watch before.  I need that cooling off period.  I'll probably power through season 2 after it's done and start watching live and wondering if It's Thursday Yet? within a couple of weeks from now.
I'm still sorting through feelings, too.  I'll probably have more to say.
But you know how there's a lot of media you like, and some that you love but only a few make it to that "Favorite things" level, the place where it turns into something that you love wholeheartedly and will remember forever and kinda wish you could erase from your brain so you could re-experience it for the first time again?
I have a few of those.  Futurama.  MST3K.  Parks and Recreation.  Psych.  Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic.  The entire Mass Effect trilogy.  Neverwinter Nights 2.  The Thrilling Adventure Hour.  U2's Songs of Experience album.  Sugar's Copper Blue album.  The Princess Bride.  All of Star Wars.  The Lord of the Rings trilogy.  Star Trek: TNG and DS9.  The Good Place will end up here once it's done.  
And now Critical Role: Season One.  
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