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eldritchsurveys · 6 months

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1143.

November 2023 Survey by foxandforest

What is something you do to take care of another person (this can be as simple as sharing your Netflix account)? >> uhhhh .__. hm

Have you ever experienced something that some people who haven’t experienced it deny its existence, yet you KNOW it exists (e.g., lucid dreaming, ASMR, etc.)? >> most of the stuff that I Know about myself is stuff that is unquantifiable and therefore prone to others' scepticism. also I had no idea there were lucid dream sceptics but I guess there might as well be, huh. genuinely can't imagine a worldview where only the stuff that happens to me directly is possible and real

Have you ever had a moment where you were aware that you were the problem? Whether it was a sudden jolt or a long struggle of coming to terms with the fact that you needed to change. >> sure, I guess. I mean, I'm definitely not gonna take full responsibility for any of the bullshit that I've been involved in but I do recognise that in many situations it takes two to tango + trauma makes beasts of us all etc

What is something that a lot of people complain about but you actually enjoy? Can you see others’ criticisms as valid or do you have a totally different experience? >> a small sample of things I enjoy but I've heard a lot of complaints from others about: summer, mornings, questing in MMOs, having bugs/spiders in your house, and those recipe blogs with the stories before the recipe obviously anyone's criticism of a thing is their opinion and their opinion is allowed to exist. my experience of the thing is apparently different and that's fine. just leave me out of the complaint circle

Is there anything that you’ve been hearing about lately that’s piqued your curiosity? Whether by wanting to see what the hype is all about or clocking something new and upcoming. >> a mutual has been goin on about Alan Wake 2 which I know less than nothing about and I am curious but I have a weird mental block on lookin into it now for reasons that I would rather examine privately

If you needed to come up with an extra $500 per month for a bill, how would you do it (e.g., rearrange budget, pick up work, etc.)? >> I... literally couldn't. I would just lose access to the thing

Have you ever broken up with someone due to a belief you both wouldn’t compromise on (be it political opinions, other values or lifestyle goals such as travel or having children)? >> I don't think so

When was the last time you did something that required a degree of tenacity/noticeable assertiveness? >> whew

What is a trait that you have noticed in yourself that you’re not sure that you love, but you’re also not sure that you want to change? >> I don't always love my eleventy-billion protective mechanisms but I also think they exist for a reason and I don't want them to disappear, I don't want to be wide open for the entire world or anything. I just want them to be a little less hair-trigger and a little less hardcore

What is a fascinating article you've read or documentary/educational video/podcast you've seen recently? >> I just watched Like Stories of Old's new video which was about the Marvelisation of media, yknow, the same old shit everyone's been talkin about. but I like the way LSOO parses and talks about things, so

Do you keep track of your favorites across the year? What are some of the things you consistently loved this year? It could be anything from books to music to products to hobbies to topics/genres/themes, etc. >> I actually just started doin that this year because I got so tired of not remembering a single thing about myself or my tastes or things I've enjoyed, and I figured it was easier to just start making lists instead of beating myself up about it. the way this question is posed is making me draw a blank on how to answer it, though

When you find something you want to go out and do (an event or just going out for a treat), is it easy for you to find the motivation to go do it on your own or do you try to find someone else to encourage you to do it? >> I have no choice but to either motivate my own self to go or to just eat the consequence of not going and no the motivation is never easy for me to summon but all I can do is try and try again and see what happens each time

What is the last situation you can remember where you thought something was unfair to you or a loved one? .

What is something that you have a knack for or that comes effortlessly to you? Was it always like this? >> the English language, I guess. as in, I've never struggled with spelling, pronunciation, or style rules. I pick up on the rules of both Standard and Vernacular versions of English easily and I can switch between them fluidly. I have struggled with comprehension in the past especially as it relates to hyperlexia (I started reading very early and my reading level was always advanced, but being able to read doesn't always mean being able to comprehend -- unfortunately that's not a distinction the adults around me cared to recognise, probably because that would get in the way of treating me like a show pony) but that's about it, and obviously my comprehensive abilities improved with age

What is a quality that you have wanted in a partner or friend but never found? Do you still crave it or did it lose its importance? >> whoof. actually been coming to terms with the fact that I crave more than I thought I did, and now I have to contend with that because I can't suppress it and pretend my needs don't exist anymore. which doesn't feel great, because now I'm constantly aware of my constantly unmet needs. (which is why suppression and denial exists as a coping strategy in the first place! because this shit sucks!) one of the things I've never experienced in a relationship with another person is like... warmth. delight. enthusiasm about my existence, a strong expressed desire to be with me and explore life with me and connect deeply with me. not without a heavy transactional component (that I could never meet, because it was rigged), anyway. I don't even know how I would get this, because apparently either it's in short supply or I'm just not the kind of person capable of inspiring delight in people

Is there a confrontation (even a gentle calling out) you have imagined having with someone but more than likely you will let it go? >> that's me with Sparrow literally all the time. like why bother at this point, it is what it is

Could you see yourself realistically living in a different city than the one you live in now? Do you have any plans in the works to actually move there eventually? >> I constantly fantasise about living somewhere else. I don't want to live here, I've never wanted to live here, but we genuinely couldn't live the way we were living anymore and this was better than dying. when and whether I live somewhere else ever again is not up to me at this point, so, I don't know. I try not to think about it too deeply because life is hard enough and also because of the shame factor ("you should be grateful" "you want too much" etc)

#survey #random survey

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serkahstheke · 1 year

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Diamond Chandeliers

I let wisps of smoke escape from my mouth, disappearing into the night sky. The burning end of my cigarette glows angry red, blending in with the luminescent city lights below me. The faraway noises of effervescent night life and summer's gentle breeze comfort me.

From behind me, she releases a defeated sigh. Heavy, disapproving, yet resigned at the same time. This is a battle she is never going to win. She knows that as well as I do, yet it doesn't stop her from trying.

“This is extremely unhealthy.”

“So you've told me for the millionth time.” I take another drag of the cigarette.

“You have to let him go.”

“We were never together.” From faraway, my eyes track the movement of a bus as it makes a turn at an intersection. From this height, it's the size of an ant. It speeds away. Further and further, smaller and smaller. It disappears in the distance.

“You know what I mean.” My repose leaves her even more restless. She mirrors my posture, leans forward as she rests her forearms on the smooth wooden railing of the balcony. Instead of a cigarette, she is nursing a half-full slender glass of champagne.

“Don't you want to settle down, too? Aren't you tired of being alone?”

“I’m dating someone.”

“I’ve seen the way you treat her. You can hardly call that dating. You're not serious about her. Just like how you were never serious about any of your exes. You're just toying with all of them. You're a cruel human being, you know that? Don't date them if you're not going to put your heart in it.”

“Huh. Yet you're the one always bugging me to date someone.” I stare absentmindedly at one of the brightly lit offices of the skyscraper across from the building I'm standing in. The stark silhouette of a man sitting in his cubicle draws my attention.

“He's married. It's time for you to let go. Have some respect for his relationship. It's been, what? Ten years?”

“I don't see how I'm disrespecting his relationship. Now that he's a married man, I can't be friends with him?” I tap my cigarette against the balcony railing and watch as the night air blows the bits of ashes away, turning them alive with flight.

She laughs humorlessly. “You know I am this close to just pushing you off of this balcony, right?”

I smile. “Maybe you should.”

“Listen,” she says, infusing years worth of frustration into the word, “there's being friends. And then there's dropping your entire life and running to him every time he calls for you. He has a wife. Let them be in love. He is in love with her, not you.”

“I don't need him to be in love with me,” I say. I mean it with every fiber of my being.

She doesn't understand. She will never understand, no matter how many times I try to drill the idea into her head.

“I don't understand. I care about you. Why won't you listen to me? You're ruining your life. How long are you going to stay like this?”

She thinks I'm wasting my life away.

When I turn to look at her, her eyes are flooded with unshed tears. I take one last long drag of the cigarette, savoring it with my eyes shut. As smoke billows out from my mouth, I drop the cigarette on the marble floor, killing the burning end with heel of my dress shoe.

I blink at her, slow and languid, gathering my thoughts.

“Don't stay out for too long. It's cold out here.”

I turn around and re-enter the ballroom. Golden lights, diamond chandeliers, white carnations, the sweet crooning of a popular love song, impeccably dressed guests, and carefree chatter.

And in the middle of all of it: you, in a crisp white suit with the blushing bride on your arm.

This is what she'll never understand, what no one will ever understand:

That as long as I live and breathe, you are my constant. That even though you are not mine, I am and will always be yours. It might not be worth that much, but you have every inch of my worn-out, wretched heart.

Loving you is not about owning you, nor is it about you returning my affections. Loving you is just me putting you first, always.

Just say the word and I'll be there. I'll come running to you now, and I'll come running to you when I'm eighty. Even when I'm old and gray—my knees wobbly and my lungs weak—I will drag myself to be by your side if it's the last thing I do.

Maybe I am cruel and selfish. Maybe I am all of the horrible things they accuse me of doing. Maybe this is unhealthy and messed up and fractured from every angle.

From across the room, your eyes find mine. For a split second, it is just you and me. The laughter fades away, the lights fade away. Your lovely bride fades away.

Then the moment is gone as quick as it arrived, you look away and you are drawing your wife closer to you with an arm around her waist.

The cool metal of the promise ring you gave me rests against my chest, under my shirt, where it hangs off the delicate chain around my neck. Maybe all the promises you made when you gave it to me were just words to you. Maybe you didn't mean them.

Or maybe you did, but you have forgotten.

It doesn't matter, because I'll remember them for the both of us. I'll keep those promises stitched into my heart.

And this, too, I promise you:

For as long as I live, you'll have me.

#sad thoughts #poems #quotes

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lanland04moure · 3 years

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미안해 •| ᶜʰᵒᶤ ʸᵉᵒⁿʲᵘⁿ |• [ ᵖᵃʳᵗ ⁵ ] αlтєяηαтινє ƒιηαl

Very long text, the end of a series

1 2 3 4

we тaĸe ιт ғroм нere;

The door burst open giving way to the rushing sounds caused by the boys entering the room. I took a seat on the bed and they were all there.

Taehyun was the first to speak.

—They've found them. They've been put to safety.— He paused unnecessarily, should I celebrate? You were safe now.

—Yeonjun was not with them.— Soobin's words broke my heart again.

•×•

I woke up, not sure what was going on, without moving I managed to look around, the building collapsed on top of us. Could we die here, would they find us?

I have no idea how much time has passed or if they are even looking for us. I try to stand up. But a great pain in my left shoulder stops me.

It hurts a lot.

I don't remember where I am in the building and it's killing me that I left those girls alone and now we are in this situation. I try again, this time slower. Pain travels up and down my back but this time I don't stop.

I glance around again and remember that it was just that that got me into this mess.

A column. A column was what kept me from being crushed to death. I see no way out, everything is collapsed, I'm trapped.

I need to get out, I need to get out of here, I need you.

I move around the place looking for a way out. There must be a way, there must be a way out.

Please wait, I'm on my way to you.

•×•

We left the apartment immersed in a silence that was not normal for us. Especially the guys.

We were all willing to check on our own if it was true that you were not among those who were rescued.

Because if it was true, if you were not there, where were you? Where did you go?

I needed to convince the rescuers to look some more.

Please hang in there!

The rescue teams are already leaving the site by the time we arrive. It's over for them. They found most of the victims, that's all that matters to them.

For them the testimonies of these girls who claim that you saved them were not enough. I see them crying, I see them begging you to continue the search. They cry for you, they are worried about you. And that's enough for me to take their word for it.

But they don't really care.

They insist, they claim that you are there, they claim that it was you who saved their lives.

Where are you Choi Yeonjun?

I don't want to give you up for lost. I don't want to think that I have lost you. I don't want to get the idea that I lost you.

If they don't look for you, I will. I'm going to get you out of there.

I made sure that no one was watching me, that everyone was distracted so I could sneak through the concrete debris. Not far from where I was entering, the television stations were interviewing the rescued women.

A group of trainees and stylists from the agency.

They asked them the same questions, made them repeat their story over and over again. But they still didn't believe a word of it.

But I do, I really believe them.

My heart knows they are not lying. Whatever happens I will rescue you.

"He was there, I can swear it. He was the one who saved our lives".

"He saved us, he was willing to give his life for ours."

"I owe him my life, that's why I refuse to end the search. He is out there somewhere."

Once upstairs I heard my name being called. I didn't turn around though. Nothing would stop me. I would get to you.

But Kai's screams were getting louder and louder. Which would draw attention. I had to be quick, I had to keep them from reaching me.

—Noona what are you doing? Noona you're going to hurt yourself!— Seeing that I wasn't going to stop Heuning carefully climbed up after me. All the while wailing.—My hyungs are going to be upset.—

—Noona is going to get hurt, but she doesn't care.—

—Soobin Hyung is going to lose his mind when he notices Noona is gone.— Lost in his words we made it to the top of that huge concrete mountain, there were so many places to start looking.

You could be anywhere. They swear you helped them so we have to find you.

We can't give up.

We split up and started moving and searching through the rocks. We will find you, don't worry.

After about 20 minutes a distant scream caught my attention.

They were calling me, was it you? I stood still with the intention of listening clearly. But it wasn't you and it wasn't just me they were looking for.

The boys had already noticed our absence.

I tried to ignore them, tried to silence them in my mind. But I found it impossible the boys were insistent and I knew Kai wouldn't ignore them.

—Min where are you?—

—Heuningkai where did you go?—

—Hyuka!!!—

—Min!!!—

I still continued my search. If the rescuers quit, we wouldn't. At least I haven't

—Huyng!!! Hyung!!!—

—Heuning damn it! What are you doing up there?—Beomgyu's shout echoed through the place.

—I went up following Noona.—

—What?!!! MIN IS UP THERE?!!!—The unmistakable voice of Soobin reached my ears. After his shout all was silence again.

I continued my search, the concrete pieces were heavy, too heavy to tell the truth. But it didn't matter because I just wanted to get to your side.

I felt in my heart something that told me we were close. We were close to you. I leaned down again to move another rock when something abruptly brought me back to my full height.

—Are you crazy? What do you think you can do up here alone? You're only going to hurt yourself!—he was clearly angry and about to lose his mind.

•×•

I was worried about you, how ironic isn't it? I'm the one at risk of being buried to death, but I still can't be selfish, I can't think only of myself. Every minute here I was flooded with worry about how you were doing.

The more time passed, the more it became a torture to keep my eyes open for long periods of time. I was resigned to the fact that I would never get out of here.

Time seemed to move so slowly that it made me think about the probability that maybe I was already dead, but it was not possible, how did I know?

Because of the pain. I once heard that it was pain that made us human or something like that. Because of that and the immense pain that spread through my body I knew I was still alive.

But what I wasn't sure yet was if I would still be alive to remind you how much I love you.

What did we do to deserve this, is it some kind of lesson to make you value what you have and those who are with you, is it some kind of punishment? Thousands of questions come to me in the moment, but so does your image.

Your smile.

It was your smile that made me fix my eyes on you, did I ever tell you that?

Your smile was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen and of course it still is. That was the first time I saw you.

It was right after our debut.

Soobin was very tired and looked sick, but he wouldn't admit it. One day just like that you appeared in our practice room, carrying some lunch boxes with you.

Beomgyu immediately stood up to help you and Soobin pulled you to him in a tight embrace. His face and yours glowed with happiness as you were in each other's arms. And something stirred inside me.

It turned out that you brought some snacks for everyone, soobin bragged that you were the best cook. I can't deny it, your food was delicious.

Remembering that day I had an immense craving for that rich food that was your favorite, something typical of your city. Some time later it became mine too.

•×•

One by one each of the boys came up behind us.

Soobin was still upset, but I knew he would help us, he would support us. We would find you, we would.

We basically split into groups so we could move the rocks. About 20 minutes passed and there was definitely no trace of you.

Come on Jun, you can't do this to us.

Time went by and little by little more people joined our search. The girls you rescued, agency staff. Even MOA was coming from different parts of the city to help us find you, we all wanted you back.

The authorities were completely opposed to what we were doing, because there was a possibility that someone would suffer some kind of injury. But we didn't care.

More MOA's slowly arrived to help. Girls who had taken a train, or taken a plane ride to help find their idol. I would love for you to see the love everyone is showing you right now.

Why wouldn't we let you, wouldn't we.

The newsreels were all about filming us. They were broadcasting us for hours, broadcasting as much as they could of our search work.

In the headline you could clearly read ;

THEY ARE THOSE WHO STILL HAVE HOPE

And boy, did we have hope.

No one was giving up. We are fighting for you. Hours went by, endless hours in the sun. And now I was really losing hope. We had moved tons of debris and nothing to show for it.

Should we resign ourselves?

I took a moment. A moment to admire all these people who took the risk of joining our search. What will happen will happen. Whether we found you or not, I was going to be eternally grateful for it. Maybe it was time to take a break. Or maybe it was time to give up and stop.

The sun was killing me.

The heat was intense and the glint of something was burning in my eyes. I covered them for a moment, it was bugging me.

Where was it coming from?

I slowly withdrew my hand and looked around for it. I couldn't believe it. It had to be. It had to be. It was your watch.

Your watch was barely peeking through the rubble.

—It's here, it's here."—

•×•

The more time passed the stronger the pressure I felt.

My heart ached so much, I ached so much from how much I missed you and the fear I felt about leaving you alone. I was desperate to get out. To come back to you.

My body slowly stopped responding, maybe because I was tired. Maybe because of the hunger I felt or maybe because of how damaged and hurt it was.

And just now that he was so close to freedom. It was a matter of minutes, a matter of moving a few more rocks. But it was impossible, I reached my limit. I saw the light, I saw the light of my freedom but everything went black.

I wish I could turn back time and not fight with you. Or failing that take Soobin's advice and stay with you the whole day.

•×•

Taehyun ran beside me as soon as he heard my screams.

We had finally found you!

In a matter of seconds there were dozens of hands moving and throwing the rocks in the area where you were. All treading cautiously but in a hurry to get you out of there as soon as possible.

I'm not going to lie to you. I was praying to God that you would be okay, that he wouldn't take you away from me. When we finally managed to get you out of that place, the paramedics snatched you from our arms.

They did not allow us to see you, they immediately transferred you to the nearest hospital, they had to make sure you were okay, that you were not hurt in any way.

I don't know how long we spent in the waiting room of that hospital, they didn't allow us to see you, they didn't want to give us any report.

We didn't know anything.

Was it so serious?

Doctors came in and out of your room non-stop, but they kept ignoring our pleas for information, it got to the point where they forbade the nurses to come near us.

And just like that, one day when we were still waiting for some details about your health condition, this girl came up to us.

It was a nurse, she asked me to accompany her, without hesitation I went after her.

She would take me to you.

You had woken up, after a week, you had woken up and the first thing you did was to ask for me.

•×•

I woke up once again.

I was alone and without further ado I began to remember everything I had experienced being trapped in the building.

A nurse came into the room, not once did she look at me.

—Park Min, I need to see Park Min.— The nurse left the room without giving me a word or even a small glance. Time marched on, but nothing was happening.

Or so I thought, because within seconds after my thought the door to the room opened again.

But this time it showed me someone totally different. This time it was your beautiful eyes peering out from the other side of that door.

You crept in. Neither of us uttered a word. Then you threw yourself weakly onto the gurney crying and with what little strength I had I clung to you even tighter.

I was afraid that we would be separated again. And now we would not be able to find our way back like this time.

—All the time I was so worried about you.—

—Why? It was you who was stuck in that place, you should have left that for us. I was so scared I'd never see you again, that we'd get separated like that after that stupid fight.—

—I was worried about getting to leave you alone, I knew you'd be scared and I was so mad at me for turning down that dinner the other night.—

—That's in the past, let's try to forget about it. We're here together now.—

—Please never forget how much I love you.—

#yeonjun x reader #yeonjun txt #txt #txt imagines #txt oneshots #tomorrow x together #txt drabbles #txt scenarios #choi yeonjun #txt yeonjun #txt choi yeonjun #yeonjun imagines #yeonjun oneshot #yeonjun drabbles #yeonjun scenarios #yeonjun #yeonjun tomorrow x together #yeonjun x you

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youngmistressofchopchop · 4 years

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I did it. Now I dont write, I draw so this is not gonna be so good. Its been through many revisions and I realized I spelt "Yuseke" as "Yueske the entire time so forgive me ill fix that next chapter. My Kuwabara x oc story:

It was finally cold again. Miyoko was overjoyed, she had never liked summer. Sure there was no school and she had more time with friends, but she couldn't stand the heat. She detested those sweaty nights, or how the bugs always bothered her, actually she didnt care for any part of summer.

Miyoko had dropped so many hints over the years and yet somehow, Kuwabara still had no clue. His air-headed-ness was cute, but it made things difficult for the shy girl Miyoko was. She just couldn't work up the nerve to say something, and when she did, something would always interrupt her. However, today she planned to change that! Miyoko got dressed up as cozy as she could, ready for what her and her friends had planned and with a gleam of excitement in her eyes, she headed out the door.

That was apart from going to see her crush, Kazuma Kuwabara's baseball games, he would play every summer. When they were younger, he played in an official team wearing his "Mötor Head" jersey and smoking every opposing team he played against. Miyoko never missed a single game! Every home run, every strike, and every fight that broke out because of a bad call, she was there. When they got older, she would be there to watch him play against his friends, still wearing that jersey. She was always supportive of him, she was madly in love with him, and had been for awhile.

"Urameshi!! Where do you think you're going?? I was talking to you!" Kuwabara's feet hit the sidewalk with force as he sprinted after Yueske, who had walked only a few feet, forcing Kuwabara to stop abruptly frantically trying to steady himself without falling. After regaining balance, Kuwabara grabed a fists full of his friend's jacket to pull him close aggressively.

"D-Dont tell anyone! Or I'll break your mouth, so you cant tell anyone nothin' ever again!!" Kuwabara's face was as red as the setting sun. Unfazed, Yuseke stared at Kuwabara blankly for a short second before sighing and shrugging the big flustered fool off of him.

"Listen man, I wont say anything. But this is getting really annoying. Ive told you before that you should just go through with it. Whats your problem with admitting to her anyways?" Yuseke looked to the helpless man and immediately regretted asking. Kuwabara looked off dramatically twords the orange and red sky. His shoulders slouched, slumping over, and fiddling with his hands.

"I....Shes really pretty, ya know? And...Im well...ya know?" His voice trailed off, as if wanting reassurance he was being foolish. When there was no reply, Kuwabara peeked up with a quivering bottom lip.

Yueske stood with his hands in his pocket saying nothing, only wearing a furrowed brow and tight lips. Suddenly, he burst into laughter. Causing Kuwabara to stand up straight and look at him even more embarrassed, and ready to punch him.

"I never thought I'd hear the great Kuwabara, warrior of love, admit to being ugly!!" Mocked Yueske. He bent over shaking his head and slapping his leg, resting his other elbow on his knee and laughing loudly. He straightened and wiped a fake tear from his eye. Kuwabara gasped in shock.

"What?? Ugly??" Again Kuwabara grabbed at his friend, this time missing and falling. He quickly got up and held up a threatening fists.

"Im not ugly!! Im just not a romantic type!!" He rubbed his fists on his chest.

"I am a warrior of love, so I know how to treat a lady and how to talks to girls, I just....." He paused, his mouth moving like hes trying to remember how talking works. "She's different!!" He finaly blurted out. "She reads them girly romance books that Kurama likes!!" With a frustrated grunt, Kuwabara rubbed his neck nervously and spoke in a much more serious tone.

"Ive known her a real long time, and I cant tell her yet cuz I'm kinda worried she only thinks of me like how Shizuru thinks of me." Yueske picked up on the seriousness of the situation and scoffed trying to lighten things up again.

"Well you are ugly, but I think she likes you anyway. Besides man, why asks me? You think I read them werid books?" Yueske pat Kuwabara awkwardly on the shoulder.

"No way. I asked cuz you have a girlfriend!!" Kuwabara turned to look at Yueske who was moving his arm away.

"So? Doesnt mean I know what im doing, just asks Keiko." The boys laugh, seeming to have calmed down a great deal. Before much more could be said, four familiar and approaching voices could be heard chatting playfully.

"Oh dear, you didnt actually take me seriously did you, Miyoko?" Botan said in a teasing tone.

"I did!! I'm gullible, you cant just tell me anything about spirit world.I will believe it!! Everytime!" The two girls laughed.

"I've noticed," Interjected Kurama. "You have managed to retained alot of attributes from your childhood haven't you? I find that interesting." Kurama continud, wrapping an arm around Botan.

"Alot of people say that...is that a bad thing? I'm not immature am I?" Miyoko felt nervous now. Maybe that was the why Kuwabara never seemed to return her feelings, perhaps she wasn't mature enough for a relationship.

Keiko quickly spouted, "No no! I don't think he meant it like that, I think it's cute!" Keiko put a reassuring arm around Miyoko and smiled a friendly smile.

"Ofcourse! Its an admirable trait." Kurama said as Botan giggled.

Botan wagged her finger and pointed it at Miyoko with a knowing smile "Im on to you! You shouldn't feel so insecure!" Botan pulled her arm back and used it to hug Kurama's arm. "Don't be so hard on yourself, I know you're simply nervous, so you're being extra critical of yourself, but you'll do fine!" Botan hummed encouragingly. "And, we all look fantastic!" Botan added as they all rounded the corner.

Keiko stopped dead in her tracks, and started tapping her foot. "Well, most of us are...Yueske! I thought I told you to dress up!!" Keiko pouted, walking over to her boyfriend's side.

Yueske was the most casually dressed out of all of them. Just wearing his usual faded blue jeans, black converse shoes, plain yellow shirt and favorite green and yellow windbreaker jacket. He looked even more underdressed standing next to Keiko. She was wearing a lovely pale pink turtleneck, a plum purple suspender skirt reaching to her knees, long white socks, and loafers to match her skirt. Despite their contrasting attire, they somehow matched perfectly.

Yueske wrapped his arm around Keiko's shoulder and smirked."Kuwabara isnt dressed up." He looked over to Kuwabara and nodded his way while jutting his thumb twords his friend.

"What!! I am too!! This is the nicest thing I got!! Other than like...a tux or something!!" Kuwabara wore a blue Letterman jacket, a red sweater with dark blue jeans, and brown dress boots laced in black, he was indeed dressed up quite nicely. Miyoko blushed at the sight of his clothing, he cleaned up nicely as always. She couldn't help but smile at him, it was always a slight surprise to see him out of his school uniform. Kuwabara had a simular reaction to Miyoko's choice of clothing. She dawned a wine red A-line dress, knitted black leggins, and shin high beige lace up boots. She wasn't one to dress up like this, but she wanted to tonight, it was a special night after all.

Trying to redirect the situation and prevent Yueske and Kuwabara from fighting, Botan chimed in. "Well, I never have to worry about Kurama when it comesto presentation! Unless ofcourse, he's overdressed and making me look a fool!" Kurama and Botan giggled to eachother looking the most put together, like they were the parents of the group. Tonight, everyone was going their part to help Miyoko's odds, evident by Botan, who was wearing something much different from her usual choice of clothing.

She modelled a white turtle neck dress, form fitting reaching just above her knees with a small slit on the right side, with sleeves that reached slightly past her palms, she wore her wedding ring, hoop earings, beige velvet tights, and blue slip on flats to top off the look. To match her, Kurama dressed just as nice. Wearing a white button up tucked neatly into his dark brown pants, red suspenders with red suede shoes laced in black, and a matching wool trench coat to top complete it all. Now everyone felt underdressed.

"So what are we doing anyway?" Yueske asked scratching his cheek. Keiko shook her head "Are you serious? You've been waiting around this long, and you dont even know why??" Yueske simpled shrugged "I guess?"

Botan sighed looking tired, Yueske was a handful for everyone. "Dont you remember, Yueske? I told you this morning! We're all having dinner!"

Botan motioned to the brick building everyone was standing next to. "You've been standing right next to the restaurant! Where I told you we would be meeting up, seriously! You didn't connect the dots?" Botan tilted her head with a hopeless look. Yueske gritted his teeth and roughly pulled Keiko by her hip to his, talking through his teeth. "Whatever!!" He sighed and let go of Keiko fixed his hair flustered, he brought his fists down onto his palm talking loudly. "So now that we're all here, can we go?? Im starving and you guys took all damn evening to get here!"

Keiko lightly kicked his shoe pouting up at him. "Hush!! Its not our fault you dont listen, besides you didnt even try to dress nice! So I dont feel sorry for you." Yuseke quickly stepped aside and raised his voice a bit "Hey! Didnt ya hear me?? I didn't know what was going on!!" Keiko roughly poked her boyfriend's chest, "Again, not our problem! Listen and you wouldn't have to worry!!"

Kurama was the first to put a stop to the bickering. He took a wide step twords the brick building and grabbed the glass doors handle, he opened the door and motioned for everyone fallow him inside.

So theres that. I'll write more soon. I hope its as fun to read as it was fun to write.

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mental-health-advice · 7 years

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i don't have anyone to talk so i thought i'd give this a go. i really don't know what's wrong with me. i have there terrible mood swings where i'll be fine but in a matter of ten minutes my emotions will be off the wall. during these spells i feel angered, frustrated and do nothing but cry. im not sure what triggers them but sometimes to calm down i'll pinch myself. im kinda worried pinching will turn into worse things since the pain feels almost like a release. this sounds crazy i'm sorry.

Hi beautiful,

I am sorry to hear that youhave been dealing with such intense mood swings recently. I want to start offby saying that nothing you had told us sounds crazy. Actually, a lot ofdifferent people have to go through the exact same feelings that you are currentlyhaving. The positive thing though, is that you have realised that something haschanged within you and that you may need help to learn how to deal with thesesudden behaviours.

I’ll come back with thepinching later and will start off with the mood swings first, since they seemto be the cause of the painful behaviour you’ve been inflicting to yourself.Mood swings can be caused by sooooooooomany different things. That means it will be hard for me to put my finger onexactly what has been causing yours. Of course, I am not a mental healthprofessional, which means I do not have to power to tell you why you’ve beenfeeling this way, but I will still list on the possible explanations for your intenseand frequent mood swings. Remember that self diagnosis is not a good idea andthat you should always seek help from a professional, who will be able to offeryou the proper help on how to get better.

They could be caused by depression : Have you been feeling moretired lately? Have you been feeling like the only thing you want to do issleep, unable to find the motivation to do the things that once made you sohappy? Have your emotions been all over the place, unable to concentrate onanything else but sadness and intense feelings of emptiness? Have you lost weightor felt like you’ve been getting sick? Have you felt like it was hard toconcentrate and hard to think straight? If the answers to these questions areyes, then the mood swings might be caused by depression.

They could also be caused by bipolar disorder : Have you been feeling like yourthoughts are all rushing through your mind at the same time without you beingable to control them? Have you been feeling like your moods are more irritableand elevated lately? Have you been feeling impulsive, doing different thingsand taking decisions that you would of have never made before? Have you beenfeeling sleep deprived, like sleep does not seem to matter anymore? Do you tendto not be able to have a stable conversation, changing quickly from one topicto another without them being related? If the answers to these questions areyes, the mood swings might be caused by bipolar disorder.

The next one might soundcompletely strange, but mood swings could also be caused by premenstrual syndrome if you are agirl. The most frequent behaviours you can feel when in pms are :oversensitivity, crying, anger and irritability, anxiety and exaggerated moodswings. If you are having premenstrual syndrome, this is what you should besensing in your body : feeling tired, feeling bloated, having weird cravings oran increase of your appetite and even insomnia. If you are feeling all this,your mood swings could be caused by premenstrual syndrome. Those feelingsshould happen for a few to several days before the one week of your menstrualcycle.

Now in more rare cases, moodswings could be caused by schizophrenia: Symptoms of psychotic behaviours are :Have you been having disorganised behaviour? Have you experienced any type ofhallucinations of hearing, such as having voices in your head? Have youexperienced any type of hallucinations of seeing, such as bugs crawling on yourskin? Have you experienced any type of hallucinations of taste, such as tastingthings that are not connected to reality? Symptomsof less psychotic behaviours are : Have you felt inhibition of facialexpression? Have you felt a lack in your care and self hygiene? Have you beenfeeling lack of motivation? Is your speech lacking or incoherent? If the answerto these questions are yes, your mood swings could be caused by schizophrenia.

Mood swings can also be causedby ADHD (Attention deficit hyperactivitydisorder) : Have you felt like your capacity to concentrate on a task is low?Have you felt like you are easily distracted or have short memory? Do you havetrouble staying seated for a long period of time? Do you always feel the needto talk? Do you easily feel bored? If the answer to these questions are yes,then the mood swings you have been feeling might be caused by ADHD.

It could also be, in more rarecases, dementia : Have you beenforgetting things easily? Do you have trouble doing certain tasks that you wereonce able to do with very little effort -likegetting dressed or going to the bathroom-? Is your ability to communicatedifficult? Have the people surrounding you seen a big change in your behaviourand are struggling to recognise you? If you are feeling those things and havesaid yes to those questions, your mood swings might be caused by dementia.

Now, I know all of that was alot of information to take in. As I said before, I am in no case aprofessional, which means I cannot diagnose you and as I said earlier, selfdiagnosis is never a good idea. Your mood swings could even be related to noneof the above, coming from a complete other source. That is why I highly suggesttalking to a professional about what you have been feeling lately.

Now, let’s talk about thepinching. I can understand that you might feel scared that the pinching mightturn into scarier things. In the end, any type of behaviour that is done toprocure you pain, is considered like self harm, even though no blood isinvolved. You should definitely talk to your therapist about that as well. I amvery proud of you though, for realising these behaviours quickly before themgetting worst. It shows how incredibly brave you are. There are a lot ofoptions that can make you feel better, other than pain. You could look at ourdistractions page to get more ideas. To avoid injuring yourself, I suggesttrying to keep yourself surrounded by people when you feel sad, to avoid beingalone. I would also suggest staying away from the emplacement where you usuallypinch yourself as much as possible. You can also grab a pen and whenever youfeel like pinching yourself, you can draw a little dot on the spot you were thinkingof hurting. That way, you can look at the crayon instead of the red mark itwould do on your skin. The crayon marks at the end of the day will show you theurges you were able to resist and will make you feel quite proud. Remember thatno matter what struggles you are going through right now, you are beautiful andwonderful. You do not deserve to get hurt. You can also have a look at ourAlternatives to Self-Harm page and to the Reasons not to self-harm page on our blog. Theycan be a massive help whenever you feel like pinching at your skin.

Remember that there isabsolutely no shame in getting help. You are beautiful and wonderful anddeserve all the happiness in the world. We love you and are always here for youwhenever you need to talk. You are not alone lovely.

Storms don’t last forever, your strength will fightthe clouds away and let the rainbow shine throughout the sky.

Sabrinaxx

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