#I'm gonna go accept my post office job offer now

[pearl-kite]

home again (we're home)

Something short that started with no direction, but waiting for Sam's next video is consuming my brain SO

Full thing is here AND on AO3. Paging @ejunkiet, as requested

You feel like home, Darlin'

They almost hadn't heard the rest, and Sam seemed to take their initial silence as fear. But they weren't scared, no, and they rushed to reassure him, pushing aside the thoughts that had frozen them in some semblance of hesitation.

feel like home

It echoes in their head as they lay curled against Sam's side later, swirling through a cocktail of emotions. A little disbelief, a little confusion, but eclipsing everything is a dizzying giddiness, and in between reveling in that unfamiliar feeling they try to pin down what about Sam's words had stunned them.

home

They don't know what home is. Not really. They know it in a textbook sense, they know it in the kitschy quotes about where the heart is way. But if they had been asked about their home?

Ever since moving to Dahlia during high school they'd felt relegated to the edges. Present and there, but not within. They know, consciously, that they do belong, especially with the way David has been careful to remind them lately, but that sense of belonging that was supposed to come with home had never been there. Before they left or after they returned, it didn't feel like home.

They had hoped that returning to their father's side of the family in Washington would have helped, but the sense of trespass was even worse there. They had been gone too long, and they didn't have the time-proof bond to that pack that their father had had. And even if it had as a child, it didn't feel like home.

They don't think about it often. Not in the way someone might avoid thinking about an uncomfortable subject, just as something that rarely floats to the surface of their thoughts. They've gone so long feeling rootless that it's simply a state of being, as neutral and unfeeling a law as gravity. It's made it just as easy to come back to Dahlia as it was to leave.

No, whatever Sam had seen in their reaction hadn't been apprehension or fear, but surprise as they were confronted with a sudden rewriting of their definition. 

I feel like home

The thought makes them smile, and they smother a giggle by turning their face against Sam's side. 

"Somethin' funny, Darlin'?" Sam's question comes in a quiet murmur, and they can tell he's wearing one of those smug little smiles of his.

They turn their head to narrow their eyes at him, but they can't hide a smile of their own. They try to make it more of a smirk, at least. "Pretending to sleep so you can spy on me? That's rude, old man."

He is smiling, but it's not smug, it's soft. It's never so conceited to be called smug, like the smiles they're used to seeing on others. They still marvel at how much he's capable of showing in such a small expression, and that the softness is directed at them so often. "My apologies, but your choice of where to laugh makes it a bit difficult to ignore." He doesn't comment on their change of subject, allowing the evasion.

But the deflection had been a reflex, a long-perfected habit of avoiding answering questions of all sorts. Sam never pushed when they did it, and many times they took the out that he offered.

They don't want to do that. 

"I was just… thinking about home." 

He's still looking at them, and they drop their gaze. Too soft; they still struggle to feel like they deserve any of that softness, and expressing their own? They're almost painfully out of practice, but they hope it gets easier.

"Oh?"

They take a slow breath as they shift, forcing themself to look again. It has to get easier. 

"I think we're both home now."

#kirehn writes #HAH this time I remembered to actually include the link to ao3 instead of mentioning it and not linking it #anyway really hoping the early access happens earlier than gavin's did or I probably won't be able to sleep tonight #I just love them so much your honor ;3; #redacted asmr #redacted sam #redacted darlin #uhhhhhh yeah #I'm gonna go accept my post office job offer now #and roll around waiting for this next audio #watch me hit post now and notice something that will bother me #ah well whatever

[kagejima]

You know, my brain is still stuck on the idea of Toshi being a stripper. Like he would probably be stiff at first but eventually he'll get into it and be the star of the club👀👀👀

HEHEEHEHHEHE OMG I'VE BEEN DYING TO TALK ABOUT STRIPPER!TOSHI!!! HE'S SO PRECIOUS.

@pan-cakez i don't know if you read it and that's why it's been stuck in your head but i hope you don't mind, but I'm actually going to tie this into my own stripper!toshi work!

It's actually the very first story (very first story, but tbh it's more of a prologue to the entire series) I ever posted on here when I started this blog back in may and i'm planning on it being my magnum opus heheheh

more thoughts under the cut (female reader, stripper club mentions obviously)

I'm gonna give some continuation into Stripper!Wakatoshi heheheheheh. This is sort of canon Wakatoshi?? He played volleyball in highschool and college but never went on to play professionally in this.

So, Wakatoshi... who has been asked by you if he wants to work at your establishment

And he's never really thought about it before.

But he knows he needs an actual job and rent is due soon.

And roommate Mattsun who has his fancy corporate job in marketing doesn't mind helping out and covering Wakatoshi's part of the rent at all, but Wakatoshi still feels bad because the townhome they share is definitely far from cheap.

But Wakatoshi doesn't even know if this is a good decision.

Nevertheless, he still takes your card when you give it to him. You tell him no pressure, he can take his time to think about it, but you'd be happy to have him if he accepts.

Tendou thinks it's a good idea, of course.

He won't shut up about it the whole time on the walk back from the restaurant.

"You'd be so good at it!" Tendou is telling him, "You're all big and strong! Ahhh, you'd have everybody swooning over you!"

"I can't dance though..." Wakatoshi tells him, "I can't dance regularly so I don't think I could even dance like the way I needed to for that."

"Ehhh, I'm sure they'll be lenient with you." Tendou shrugs before patting him on the back, "It's worth a shot though, isn't it? You could make a lot of money!"

"I guess..." Wakatoshi sighs when they reach the entrance to his townhome.

Tendou stands in front of him and puts his hand on his shoulder, a much more serious tone in his voice now, "You can do it, Miracle Boy. You can do anything you set your mind to. I hope you know that."

And Wakatoshi, for the first time in the conversation on this walk home, smiles.

His best friend always has his back no matter what. It's always been that way.

When Wakatoshi enters his home, he isn't expecting Mattsun to be there in the kitchen. It's late, and Mattsun usually has to put in longer hours at the office this time of year, but there he is, making a snack.

"Was wondering where you went off to. You left your gym bag so I figured it wasn't there..." Mattsun laughs.

"Drinks with Tendou." Wakatoshi answers, walking over to the glasses cabinet and pulling out one of their larger ones. If he wants to work out in the morning, he needs to stay hydrated so he isn't hung over in the morning.

"Ah? Did you have fun?"

"Somebody offered me a job."

Mattsun stops slicing the salami for his mini charcuterie board

"Oh?"

Wakatoshi nods and pulls your card out of his back pocket, wordlessly handing it over to Mattsun.

Mattsun knows exactly the place as soon as he reads the card.

"Oh, the girls at the office go to this place all the time! I've gone there for a few of their bachelorette parties," Mattsun's face lights up, "It's really nice too. Did someone try to recruit you?"

"The owner."

Mattsun is speechless.

"The owner, huh?"

Wakatoshi nods again before he takes a sip of his water.

"Weird," Mattsun's forehead creases, "I hear she's kind of elusive. I never saw here when I went there."

"There was some creep hitting on her at the restaurant so I had to step in."

Mattsun smirks, "Look at you being all Prince Charming."

Wakatoshi just continues to sip his water.

"So are you gonna take it?"

Wakatoshi shrugs, "Tendou thinks I should, but I don't know if it's a good idea."

Mattsun sighs. He knows Wakatoshi like the back of his hand after living with him for a few years, so he sees that Wakatoshi is nervous right now instead of indifferent to the entire thing.

"I think... that it wouldn't hurt to stop by there. See the place for yourself. Maybe introduce yourself to some of the other people who work there." Mattsun suggests as he hands him back the card.

Wakatoshi takes the card, examining it again.

There's the name of the club - Loveluxe - in white letters and it stands out from the deep blue-ish purple of the rest of the card on one side, with the address and phone number on the other side.

And your first name and personal phone number scribbled hastily in an empty spot in sparkly gel pen.

Mattsun asks if he wants to stay up and watch a movie he's been holding off on watching with him, but Wakaotshi declines.

Wakatoshi thinks about you as he's getting ready for bed.

He thinks about the way you looked so cute as you told him a little bit about the club you owned - he can't remember anything you said though - he was too distracted by the way your lips moved. The way the lace of your black bra was still playing peek-a-boo under your shirt and it took everything in him to not look down and offend you.

He thinks about the way you had smiled at him when you told him no rush to get back to you.

But he doesn't want to wait.

If Tendou and Mattsun think it's a good idea - he trusts them with his life - then it probably is.

Wakaotshi sits down on his bed and flips the card over and over in his hands again before he picks up the phone and dials your number.

A few rings into it and he's wondering if maybe he's making a mistake

He doesn't have any time to hang up though.

"Hello? Who am I speaking to?"

Your voice. It makes his heart do somersaults.

"This is Wakatoshi." He answers obediently.

"Ohhhh! Hi!" You say, and he can picture your perfect smile in his head as you say it, "What can I do for y--- OHMYGOD, PUT THAT DOWN, YOU TWO. I'M GONNA TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR PAYCHECK IF YOU BREAK ANOTHER LAMP!"

Wakatoshi pulls away the phone from his ear

"Sorry," You apologize, "I'm not usually like this. Some of the men that work for me are... chaotic." You sigh.

"It's fine," He smiles, "Um. I was wondering... if it would be alright if I stopped by? Maybe tomorrow morning?"

"Oh, yeah! We have our weekly meeting tomorrow morning too so you can meet everybody!"

Oh. He wasn't prepared for this type of answer.

"So is this a yes to my offer then?" You ask, and he can still see your smile.

"I think so?" He says hesitantly, "Maybe?"

You laugh and his cock twitches in his sleep pants.

"I'll see you tomorrow morning at 10 o clock then, Wakatoshi Ushijima."

#ushijima smut #ushijima fluff #ushijima #FHJADHAKLS I MEANT THIS TO BE SO MUCH SHORTER #anyways here you go everybody fahdjhflask #🎛: rae is mixing #🎤: pan-cakez is recording vocals #💪🏻: stripper!toshi #🥰: stripper!toshi

[the-inkwell-variable]

need opinions y'all

So I'm gonna post a little snippet, and I want your opinions of Jordan. The good, the bad, the red flags. Specifically the red flags. I'm trying to make the red flags subtle but THERE, y'know? I tend to have a tendency to flanderize these things.

I tend to have a tendency to flanderize these things.

yes i know i shouldn't be doing this during my writing session but my brain has decided that it shall produce NARY ANOTHER WORD unless i do this so here ya go

As the door clicks shut behind her, the doctor turns around. She stares into Jordan’s blue eyes, watches his eyebrows raise in an expression she can’t read.

“So it really is you.” He tosses the file to the counter and gestures that she take a seat. She refuses by folding her arms over her chest and looking away. “I wasn’t sure – but how many Anais Bennets are there in Bluegrass? Not that many, I’ll surmise.”

“What do you want, Jordan?”

“Mostly to verify that you’re here.” He sits on the spinning stool that seem a staple for all doctor’s offices. “Please, take a seat. I just want to talk to you.”

“Last time we talked, you dumped me. I’m not really sure I want to talk to you.”

“Anais, please. Let’s be rational about this. The last time I saw you, you had just murdered someone.”

“I was defending Mrs. Anderson–”

“Let’s not split hairs.” He drums his fingers over the file, staring at it as if it holds all the answers that he cannot read. “If you’re here, that means the police have cleared you of all charges. Deemed you innocent. I suppose… an apology is in order.”

She raises her eyebrows. Jordan has never apologized to her for anything. This should be good.

“I apologize for rushing to what I thought at the time was a rational decision. Elyssa agreed with my story – I realize now that she was in shock, willing to accept any answer as truth as long as it got her out of trouble. I apologize for firing you and breaking up with you the way that I did.”

“This doesn’t feel like much of an apology.”

“I’m apologizing for what I did wrong.”

“You’re not apologizing for hurting me, Jordan. What you did ruined my life.”

“And I’m trying to make it up to you.” He stands up, places one hand on each of her arms and squeezes gently. “When the quarantine is over, I’d like to offer you your job back – with a substantial raise, of course. And I’d like to take you out to dinner. I’d like to start over, a completely blank slate. Are you interested?”

A raise… her old job… it would be nice, that she’ll admit. She has three kids to take care of now. Being unemployed with three kids.. .that would be a nightmare. But dinner… “I’ll have to think about it.”

“Of course. I’m not trying to rush you into anything.” He squeezes her arms again. “But think on it carefully. Starting over with you would make me a very happy man.”

She can’t meet his eyes. “Is there anything else you needed? I’d like to get back to my room.”

“…no.” He releases her, taking a step back. “No, but I will need you back in the morning to run some bloodwork. Standard procedure. Checking to make sure being in such close contact with infection hasn’t affected you.”

“And if it has?”

“You’ll probably be sent to the other displacement home – the quarantined one. To make sure you don’t get anyone else sick.”

“Ah.” She backs away, bumping into the closed door behind her. The doorknob digs into her back. “All right. Well, I’m going back to my room.”

“Sleep well, Anais. Give my offer some thought. I’d like an answer in the morning.”

“I don’t know if I can get you one that soon.”

“It’s a full night. You think fast.”

“I killed my sister.” The words come out too fast, too loud. “I watched an old woman claw out my neighbor’s eyes.” She takes a step forward. He takes a step back, his eyebrows shooting up into his hair. His left hand raises, as if trying to put a wall between them. “I have no idea where my nieces and nephew are. I almost went to prison for something I didn’t do. I lost my job, my boyfriend, and my home in a week. I think I’m entitled to spending longer than twelve hours on a big life decision.”

"You always did make everything all about you." He turns away, flapping his hand dismissively. "All right. Point taken. You don't have to get me an answer in the morning. Take your time. Just...try not to take too long.

#nano 2022 #nanowrimo 2022 #dauntless #talia writes

[rainingglitter]

Road to Nowhere

"We're on a road to nowhere Come on inside Takin' that ride to nowhere We'll take that ride" --- David Byrne / Christopher Frantz/Martina Weymouth/Jerry Harrison

The Talking Heads are one of my favorite bands. David Byrne is one of the geniuses behind this band and his post band life proves that fact. He's had his own solo albums, written for musicals ("Here Lies Love" is one of my favorites), and has even had his own successful Broadway show concert that is now a Spike Lee joint. They're incredible. Truly one of the best bands to ever make music and in my opinion, 1985's "Road To Nowhere" is one of the greatest songs from their songbook. For me, it's an existential crisis piece about running in place. Not having any direction. Maybe getting to a place and then not having a clue what to do next.

Last year I was let go from a "dream" job of mine. Box office manager of a theatre. Well, a community theatre, but a community theatre that had build themselves up to being slightly better than your average community theatre where they actually have the space and the money to do things an average community theatre couldn't do. This including have a payed staff. For the last 3-4 years (something like that) I was the box office manager and I think I did a pretty solid job. I also am a director of theatre and even went to an expensive ass school to train myself as such.

When one gets a degree in theatre, they don't have many options. They can go out and try to prove themselves by auditioning or getting bit jobs in theatres - which can be scarce OR they teach. Or they do both. The artistic director of a theatre I worked at in Baton Rouge is also a professor at LSU. The life is not glamorous and it seems that 1 out of every 100 people to try and make it in theatre don't get near the success they want out of it because the positions are so scarce. Luck has a lot to do with it and if someone tells you it doesn't, they are LYING. A big part of theatre is also about who you know. People who end up getting leadership positions at a theatre will bring people - designers, actors, musicians, etc - in with them because they have worked with them before and know they are good.

Beaumont Community Players in Beaumont, TX is one of my hometown theatres and a place I began volunteering with in high school. Since then and through all of my moves from home to wherever back to home to wherever back to home, etc. Beaumont Community Players (or BCP) was a place I loved coming back to whenever I was home. I acted, directed, helped backstage and I got to know a lot of people there and got a theatre family out of it. They would call me if they wanted me and I felt wanted while I was working there. I got the job of box office manager after the longtime box office manager decided to move with her family. The new executive director who had just come in had known me for a little bit and decided I would be a good fit for the position and offered it to me. I thought a long time about it. I had a really great full time job that I liked and that paid okay and had GREAT benefits. The box office position paid a little bit less and had no benefits. However, this was a job in theatre. Do you know how rare that is? I had been working my entire life to be in a paid position to do something with theatre and this was gonna be full time. I took it.

It was great while it lasted. A couple of bad decisions made by me got me let go from the position and I can blame lots of people for it - I could go off on how much they wanted me out or the end game they wanted for firing me or how some of the people that were there committed offenses that could/should have led to termination, but I'm going to because that is my anger and resentment speaking and I cannot let that cloud my mind any longer. I got myself let go from that job, plain and simple. I have accepted it and it sucks.

I had been involved and learning theatre since I was 12. I took classes, went to school in NYC for it, got involved in theatre in some way with every move that I made. It never left my life. I never let it go and the dream I had of working in theatre one day. One day I was gonna get there. But where? Where was I really gonna go?

I guess I could've tried getting a job at theatre in a bigger city near me like Houston but how long was that gonna take? Since the day I graduated college until the day I was let go from BCP totaled 16 years.

16 years! 16 years and the furthest I got was box office manager at a community theatre in Beaumont, Texas? Really?

Look, I'm not saying BCP is a bad theatre or Beaumont is a bad place, but compared to the things in life I wanted to do and the goals I had, it was two steps up from the bottom of the totem pole. Would it take another 16 years for me to be box office manager at a bigger theatre in a bigger city?

Now I'm saying that no one should go into theatre and that you'll never find anything in the arts, but I don't know if I was truly ready to experience the consequences that came from this life. I was making it...barely. And I'm still only barely making it even without theatre, but I'm trying to refocus the direction of my life now. I had such a strong grip on the dreams I wanted for myself that I kind of refused to have it any other way. I never had a strong enough relationship to distract me or children or anything. I was focused on the life I wanted to lead because that's all I knew.

Being fired from this job was not just me losing my job, but my entire life. I felt like my legs were cut off and I had lost the ability to walk. It was like I had been slapped back into my toddler ages. I had worked so hard and because of one stupid mistake I made on my part, my entire life had to change. I didn't have any money. Savings? What the fuck is that? I don't have a car, I couldn't pay my rent. ALL of those YEARS of training just...poof.....gone. Like they'd never happened. I was over. Beaumont, TX has absolutely nothing for me unless I wanted to push paper and listen to the latest gossip from west end Wanda's for the rest of my life while making an okay wage.

Life isn't about that. Life is so much more than where I ended up. I don't think this 100% yet, but being let go from theatre may have just saved my life. I certainly wasn't moving up the ladder at BCP and did I really want to wait around 20 more years for my next theatre job? I thought it got easier once you got in with the business? Nope. Not in the arts. It just gets harder. Or maybe it doesn't get harder, one just becomes complacent and doesn't feel like working much harder than they have to work? I don't know. I knew one thing. My career in theatre was over. I didn't live in a big city where I could maybe go work somewhere else. BCP was the only place I had that could match my training, talents, and skills. And now it was no more. I was told I could still audition for shows there but really? Like I was gonna do that. I've been back to that place exactly twice since I've been let go and both times (especially the second time) they made me feel like I was 2 inches tall. The warmth was gone. I wasn't welcome at my second home.

And again, I'm not blaming anyone else but myself for this. Still, I was deeply hurt. Still am. It's like I was getting a divorce from a long relationship or multiple members of my family died at once.

However, it took me awhile but I realized this was probably for the best. Again, I'm not completely in that mindset but I'm probably about 90% there. Since being let go, I've had two part time jobs, moved a couple times, got robbed for another bad decision I made, had to help take care of my older sister and mother, my sister ended up passing away, and so I never really full grieved everything. So much change in so little time and it was like being beaten with a cane over and over again.

I saw a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel when I got hired on as part of the Fun Squad with Carnival Cruise lines in August of 2022. However, I'm STILL on a waiting list for a position to open up and its been almost a year later. However, I am currently close to number one and so I feel it will happen soon. My hope is that this will be a career for me. I've done it before, I'm good at it, and I wish I would've stuck with it because I know it can be a great career.

Still, even working at BCP I realized I was stuck. I had no where else to go. I never really thought about moving up, I just thought "You're doing what you love and that's the best thing, right?" I mean, yes and no. It's so complicated. I think you should do what makes you happy but its like getting a job as a bagger at a grocery store. Do you want to be a bagger your entire life? Maybe you do because you like it and you're good at it and its comfortable. Do you want to stay a bagger your entire life though? Maybe you do, but you shouldn't. Even if you didn't want to rise the top and be manager and eventual CEO of that grocery store (or however it works), shouldn't you? You get better money and benefits and probably more satisfaction that you know the ins and outs of the business.

I can always go back to theatre and maybe at some point I will, but I'm trying to use this crisis in my personal life as a stepping stone. Everyone around me has moved on with their lives in many ways whether it's their career, marriage, family life, etc. I feel left behind in many ways and it makes me angry. I can't be angry at them though. It's no one else's fault but mine. I'm stuck. I have been for a long time but the realization just dropped on me the same way the Gap Band dropped a bomb on me (baby).

So here I am. Figuring out my life again at 40 years old. Maybe I never really had a life? Maybe I'm just now growing up? Growing up? What does that even fucking mean? That's another long-ass post for another day. Anyways, I'm at a point in my life where I'm reinventing myself. Nothing prepares you for this, does it?

I'm currently taking steps to better my mental and physical health which I'll have to get into on another post but just know I'm doing good. I'm feeling a bit fragile at the moment. Walking on broken glass as they say. I'm also incredibly scared. How do I just turn my back on everything I've known for most of my life and head down another dark, shitty, nameless road that I have no clue where it leads. There was a time in my life where I would welcome change and dive head first into the deep end, not knowing what lays beneath the surface. The realities of life cause you to be scared of that and you lose that fearlessness. I want it back. I wanna go out there on another path and reinvent myself. I have no other choice.

I'm focused on making better choices in my life and trying to clear my head as best as I can, trying to remember those ambitious feelings I once had about life. I'm determined to grow and get out of this rut to catch up with everyone else around me. I know it's not easy and it's not fun and I honestly haven't been trying to do this for that long, but I'm doing pretty good at it so far.

More than anything, I'm very focused right now. I'm listening to uplifting and encouraging podcasts and taking control of things I have control over like my finances and how I control my own life. I'm working on the failed aspects of my life (which is most) and hopefully will be better for it. The road to nowhere is terrifying but I'm not giving up. I'm still here and I know I have a lot more left to give.

#Youtube

[peakyblindersxx]

whiskey business - john shelby x reader (part 8 of ?)

gif by @thesoldiersminute can i send you a cake or something cause fuCk!!!!!!!!!!! he's beautiful

a/n: to everyone still reading this fic, my sweet angels, ily!! this fic is so near and dear to my heart and @stxdyblr-2k has just done such an amazing job with it i can't even thank her enough. as per the last part, this one is also mostly her, just me editing but i hope you guys love it as much as i did!!! don't worry, there's gonna be a lot more :) and i apologize for being not as active, i'm gonna try to get a couple of requests up that i'm really excited about this week tysm for being patient with me <3

love, abi xxx

read part one two three four five six seven | my masterlist

prompt: ada has some talking to do, and you're not about to deny her.

warnings: fluff, semi-angst, tommy being the cocky mf he is (let's be real, it's only acceptable cause he's so damn fine), john being cute and in love and jesus i am head over heels

tagging: @datewithgianni, @mayaslifeinabox, @deepdonutkid, @springsoulofengland, @lilymurphy03, @operation-spot

You had planned to go to Ada's after work, but she obviously had other ideas. She didn't even bother walking in and asking to speak to you; instead, choosing to bang on the window closest to your desk and yelling at you to "fucking hurry up!" Your boss opened the door for you expectantly, not offering you any protection; he was firmly in the Shelby's ever growing pocket and as long as he could go home to his children, his sickly wife and their six bed in the country, with a full time nurse and nanny, he had no interest in crossing Thomas.

"Ada, I was coming to see you after work, I swear."

"I know. I was going to let you but..." She trailed off. "We need to talk. I don't know what the fuck is going on with you. John said he'd seen you last night and you asked after me."

John had indeed seen you last night. It was strange waking up with him, used to leaving almost immediately after he was finished with you. Your small bed could barely comfortably fit you both, having to intertwine your limbs with John's to not fall off the edge. You had awoken to John pressing a kiss to your forehead before lazily trailing his fingers between your legs, waiting for you to open your eyes before settling between your thighs, tongue swirling around your clit, making you cum before sunrise.

"Do we have to do this in the street?" You practically begged, the shouting having attracted onlookers.

"I wanted to talk to you before anyone else in the family gets to you because I need you to be honest."

"Ada-"

"No, I'm doing you a favour here, so you fucking listen. Right now, between you and I, no bullshit. No tactics. No white lies. You have to tell me exactly what we're dealing with." She looked frantic, scared for some reason.

You nodded, walking her down the side street, careful not to link arms with her. You knew she was doing you a favour; this wasn't about forgiveness or friendship, much more was at stake here.

"To what extent was Thomas involved?"

That took you off guard. Ada read the confusion on your face and sighed impatiently, her subtle plea for you to keep up.

Shit. You remembered your conversation with John, how she thought this was her brother's way of pushing her out of the company.

"Don't spare my feelings. What did my brother say to you?"

"He said it was in our mutual interest that you didn't find out. He didn't care who John slept with but cared who you trusted so I had to trust him. He said there was no point in upsetting you over one of John's conquests who he'd tire of in a month."

"That all?"

"Pretty much, I didn't know Arthur knew. He never talked to me about it, did laugh at Thomas' digs now that I think on it-"

"Did you know Isaiah and Michael knew?"

"I thought they were aware but no one ever talked to me about it."

"Of course they wouldn't." She hissed, frustration causing a nerve on her neck to jump.

Ada and you had spoken for years about the rampant misogyny of her brothers and any men you two came into contact with. Although you were both far more reserved than you used to be as rebellious and adventurous thirteen year olds, you'd both grew increasingly angry at how you were treated. She'd long written off her brothers as womanisers, who saw women as purely sexual and entertaining, objectifying them. You both long despised how they dehumanised women. She was amazed that Thomas had attempted to settle down and managed a somewhat loving marriage, but resented him for his carelessness and need for power which inevitably killed his wife.

"Ada, I just want to say..." You licked your lip nervously, unsure of how to continue.

"You need to talk, Y/N. No bollocks."

"Before last night, he'd never been to mine or called. I always went to him."

The muscle in her jaw tensed.

"You slept with him last night then?" You met her question with silence and she rolled her eyes. "The second he said he saw you I knew you had, he wanted to tell me that he was going to continue seeing you and that he hoped I'd be able to accept it one day."

"We never intended to hurt you. It was meant to be fun at first, but now..." You cut yourself off with a sigh, unable to admit you'd fallen for her brother.

"Isn't fun for me. It's fucking embarrassing." She paused, lighting a cigarette, nervous to offer you one, conflicted within herself. She raised her eyebrow, prompting you to continue, the mannerism so similar to her brother’s.

"It should never have happened. I am never going to be able to fix this, I'm so fucking ashamed for doing this to you, Ada."

She sulked, silently drinking in your words.

"Obviously it's not going to be the same, yeah? I'm really fucking upset. I'm so fucked off with you but Poll's really worried about a coup. She thinks you're being used as blackmail against John to keep him on side with Tommy while he expands."

"Makes sense."

"You're part of a much bigger game, you know?"

You nodded. "Yeah, and I knew I would lose from the start. Fucking tragic, Ada."

"My brothers keep pushing, keep growing the business. They keep chasing this prize but I don't think it even exists."

"If it does, it isn't worth it if this shit is the cost. I didn't mean to play into his hands."

"You couldn't have known." She said with a shrug, " 'Siah thinks John loves you."

"He told me last night." Several times, this morning also. You would never tire of hearing him moan those words into your neck or being yelled from your front door as he left for the office.

"You love him, don't you?" She said bluntly, a statement more than a question, your face suddenly hot with embarrassment.

Everything you'd suppressed for months, everything that you'd hidden, every time you lied smiling, every knowing glance from a stranger, every degrading comment from under Thomas' breath.

"I do, an awful lot."

She pauses, relighting her cigarette, "The worst thing about the entire situation is it could've been fine if someone told me. I wouldn't have loved it, obviously, but-" Ada sighed, rubbing her temple with her free fingers.

"I thought you'd hate me."

"How could I? I'd be more angry that you'd drop your standards for my brother. Seriously? Him? Mate…."

"Come off it, I've always thought he was charming. He's funny, smart-"

"Don't gush over my brother, it's grim. I'm just so fucked off you all lied to me." She peered at you through her cigarette smoke. "If you love him and he loves you..." she pressed her lips together as she tensed her jaw, "I could get over it. If it'd make you both happy. But that's going to take a long time. A long time."

"Ada-"

"Look I have meetings and shit to sort, I have to run." She interjected, checking her wristwatch, adjusting the cap which sat atop her trendy short haircut. You caught her arm before she could turn away.

"Thank you. For understanding."

She shrugged you off, "I don't get it, I'd never do that to you. But you also don't get to choose who you're attracted to. I'm really hurt, but I do love you and John a lot. He mentioned that after last night you helped him, got him cleaned up. I have to believe that you both do love each other. So I have to believe that this is a good idea for you both and not stand in your way."

"I love you, Ada. Can we hang out soon, just us two?"

She shook her head. "I need some time, I'll be in touch, yeah?"

You nod, stretching out your pinky finger. She sighed and linked it with hers, as you'd done since you were children, a silent signal to each other after a fight that you still had the other's back.

"Right, I've got to get back to this meeting, Tom is getting done by Polly for nearly getting John killed. I need to be there in case one of the lads needs patching up."

"Your aunt has a nasty left hook, I'll give her that."

"She'll be pleased you think so, she wanted Tommy to slice you to bits for crossing me."

"Fuck’s sake, thanks for the warning, I'll keep my head down. Good luck with the meeting."

Ada nodded and you watched her walk away, a Blinder suddenly appearing by her side seemingly from nowhere. This city was crawling with them. They clambered into Ada's car as you watched the car disappear into the distance before walking back to work. Thankfully, with your head still attached to your shoulders.

*******

Ada arrived at Thomas' estate, following the swell of shouting voices to his exquisite library. It was eye roll worthy and typical Tommy to choose the location of his post-fuckup debrief to be where he had the best view of the gardens, river and rolling hills. She could bet he'd sit in a corner and stare at the view, zoning out their aunt's lecture.

An armed blinder she vaguely recognised opened the door. Thomas was making a statement today with the armed guards, she noted. Her brothers really were fucked up. Arthur was an alcoholic killer who couldn't understand that Thomas would betray them all eventually, Finn was letting the tokyo and the razor chasers that circled him distract him from keeping the family together, John was apparently in love with her best friend, and finally, Thomas nearly got Arthur and John murdered last night with his foolishness. At this point only herself and Polly were holding everyone together, keeping everything silently moving along.

The door opened, and she was the last to arrive, Polly glaring as she murmured an apology, standing next to Finn. His eyes were bloodshot, grey-purple smudges under his eyes, he'd obviously had a heavy night. The last thing the poor lad needed was Polly's shrill yelling and the blinding sun streaming through the large immaculately crafted windows, which he'd tried to block with the brim of his cap. John caught her eye, acknowledging his sister with a nod, which she returned with a small tight smile.

Ada couldn't bear to think about the reasoning behind her brother's smug interjections in between Polly's rant to Thomas who was listening wordlessly, smoking.

Y/N and John? It didn't make sense. They had a similar sense of humour, sure, but she was far too intelligent for him. He also had a swarm of children, while Y/N preferred a wild night out only staggering home at daybreak.

It made far more sense for Y/N to end up with Michael, or if it had to be a brother, Finn. They were younger, so had less responsibilities and commitments so they could keep up with her. But John? Of course she knew he was believed to be the Casanova of her brothers, he was kind, he was an excellent father, yet he could never keep anyone around long, usually John was chasing someone new after a month or so. That's why the revelation that John had been involved with her best friend for almost half a year had taken her completely by surprise. Maybe that was why she was open to them being together. That had to be it. This relationship was completely out of character for John; she needed to believe that he was serious about his feelings towards Y/N and wasn't going to fuck her over. Because if he did, John would be a dead man.

"I don't know why you're all bleating at me. Yeah, I overlooked some details in the planning of last night's meeting-"

"Such as warning us that they were really fucked off because you'd helped bomb their warehouse." John pointed out.

"What do you want me to do? Apologise? Grow up, John." Tommy snapped back.

"They had loaded guns against their heads, they deserve an apology." Ada interjected, John giving her an appreciative flash of smile. She did love her big brother. Despite the fact that she'd pretty much only been yelling at him for the past month, John never dismissed her feelings and only apologised. It was confusing to admit to herself, but when Isaiah told her that he was confident John loved Y/N, she felt a wave of relief. At least he cared about her; it was the bare minimum but the Shelbys were notorious for not even meeting the bare minimum for acceptable social interactions.

"They didn't fuckin’ get shot." Thomas stated, his voice matter of fact and condescending.

"Do you ever hear yourself speak?" Polly spit back at him. "They didn't get shot this time. But it was too fucking close."

"It won't happen again, Polly." Tommy sighed. "What else can I say? Sorry lads, take the weekend off?"

"It's a good start." Arthur countered, "You're also paying for the extension on my house and my wedding."

"Fuck’s sake Arthur I was joking. But fine. Sure."

"You can't buy your family off." Polly scoffed at him.

"Think of it as compensation, a settlement." Thomas coolly corrected his aunt. "What do you want, John? A fucking farm?"

John hesitates while Finn whispered suggestions to him, Ada meeting his stare, John raising a brow to her in question. She sighed and nodded her approval.

"You can pay off my mortgage Tom, give me the kids' birthdays off-"

"So you'd never come into work then?" Finn cut in, Ada elbowing him in the ribs. She usually enjoyed Finn's remarks but she knew where John was heading; she could barely breathe.

"Tom, you're also to leave Y/N completely alone. If you have a problem with her, you come to me about it." He said firmly.

Arthur and Tommy traded knowing looks, obviously more aware of the ins and outs of his relationship than Ada was.

"Also if you're paying for Arthur's wedding I want the equivalent in cash." He adds.

Tommy shrugged. "Whatever. As long as we can move past last night and focus on today's order of business."

John nodded, satisfied. He knew Tom wouldn't care, but just saying out loud that he was involved with Y/N and having his family aware was a relief. He hadn't realised until he finally admitted how stressful keeping his relationship a secret was. Now, he could stop worrying about Tommy interfering.

Polly rolled her eyes, lecturing the brothers on their lack of moral backbone to allow themselves to be bought off, but dismissed them. She caught Ada's arm in hers on their way out, pulling her far from earshot.

"So Y/N and John are together now?" She asked, her face firm and scowling.

"Polls, I talked with her, she's aware of what she's done. She apologised and meant it. What more can I ask for?"

"Her not to have fucked him in the first place."

"She said that. Look, Polls, they're happy right? John seems happy-"

"He always is when he gets a leg over."

"You know she looked after him last night? Fixed him up after the meeting."

"Meeting? It was a fucking set up." Polly hissed but her face had softened. "She cleaned him up?"

"Antiseptic, bandages and all."

Polly looked subtly impressed, although she'd never admit it. "He went to hers? Not yours?"

"He wanted to talk to her." Ada shrugs, "I saw her this morning and-"

"What do you mean? You bumped into her?"

"I went to her work." Ada admitted, her aunt shooting her an exasperated glare.

"Why do I bother? Nobody listens to me."

"I had to talk to her, I'm glad I did. She reckons she loves him, he told her last night that he loves her, so..."

"We are talking about John? Our John?"

"I know Polls, I'm as amazed as you."

Her aunt huffed, unimpressed. "Are you okay with it though?"

"I guess, I just want them to be happy. I've told them to give me time with it."

"She was a good friend growing up, but people change, sometimes for the better, often for the worse."

"Poll, it's Y/N; she's my best friend. At the end of the day, we'd do anything for each other."

"Sweet Ada, you're going to be so miserable if you keep letting people walk all over you." Polly said wisely, kissing her goodbye affectionately. "I hope you're right. If she makes you cry again I'll kill her myself."

"Thanks, Polls."

She knew her aunt wasn't joking.

#john shelby imagine #john shelby x reader #john shelby fluff #john shelby series #john shelby fanfic #peaky blinders fluff #john shelby #john shelby x you #peaky blinders imagine

[dreamingmanip]

"MADNESS LOVE"

*GIF NOT MINE* 

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader

Warnings: None (if I need one let me know in my ask!)

Prompt: NONE

Word Count: 1,860

A/N: Okay, this time I didn’t use any prompt from my board on Pinterest. I came with the idea last night (thanks insomnia), and I thought I could make it in 2 parts. Let me know what do you think in my ask, is always open for you. If you want t, like it and reblog it. Thank you very much! 

A/N 2: I’m gonna pin this imagine so you can easily find it on my page, I will do the same when posting part 2. :)

A/N 3: This awesome gif is from Pinterest but, it comes from Wattpad. Her account is Ariana-Fic and you can find it in her fic “Soldiers in Intelligence”.

Being a cop wasn't easy, putting your life in danger to protect and serve others sometimes wasn't successful. It was 50/50, every morning you will be walking out home not knowing if you could come back.

It had been three weeks without a person in the unit. Detective Jay Halstead had been wounded in a crossfire in a covert operation; when one of you got hurt everyone took responsibility even if it wasn't that way, only for some it was harder to try not to blame yourself for what happened. You had blamed Hailey for not covering Jay enough even though you knew it wasn't her fault, you even avoided her a few days after that. 

She was her partner way long before you were assigned to Intelligence by Sergeant Voight.

Narcotics helped Intelligence in a case; it was your case but somehow their case intertwined with yours at some point, both departments agreed to work to stop the overdoses in the area. You were the best at CO, so it made sense for Sergeant Voight to pick Jay, one of his best undercovers for a purchase. Your skills didn't go unnoticed by anyone in the Intelligence Unit, even for someone with experience like Jay. After the case was over he offered you a spot in his Unit, you doubt it for a moment, you were good in Narcotics, good pay, accumulated vacation days, Voight wasn't known for being a patient person and some co-workers encouraged you to take that step by commenting on how crazy you must be not to accept such an offer. 

You were well received by all, perhaps except for Sergeant Trudy Platt, who didn't like strangers or new people in the district. Jay was among the first to congratulate you when you arrived, for a moment you thought you'd be partners but Voight wouldn't break his dream team, so he paired you with Kevin Atwater, whom you've been entrusting your life and darkest secrets to ever since. 

Atwater was the first one you told about the nights you stayed late with Jay in Molly's, he was the first to know how those late nights became visiting his apartment, to end up arriving together one morning, to the district. He had told you about Voight's rules and how he was firm with them after Jay's last relationship had gone bad with his partner and that had affected his way of working a bit.

Jay and you decided to go slowly, the only one who would know about you two would be Kevin, it was agreed at least, but Hailey Upton was very good at her job so she soon realized what was happening between you. She had supported you, although she did not agree to hide this from her sergeant, she wanted to see her partner happy.

They were all at their desks, doing paperwork on a case they had closed the day before, when Trudy appeared on the stairs.

"Guess who came back from her mandatory break."

You looked up from the papers in front of you to look at a smiling Jay Halstead, who was looking at Trudy with a raised eyebrow.

"Nice to see you too, Trudy."

"Yeah, now try to get away from the bullets for a while, I don't want to have to worry about any of you for a long time."

Kevin and Adam were the first to approach him, joking and patting him on the shoulder. Kim and Hailey were next, giving him a loving hug before heading back to his places. You had stood up to lean against your desk, your arms crossed over your chest, Jay leaned closer, although he kept some distance, the mocking smile still on his lips. You were the first to speak.

"I see you survived, Halstead."

"Hey, don't say it like that, I'm going to think you're not happy to see me alive."

You pressed your lips together so as not to smile because of his comment, it was the game that both played in front of everyone else, the sarcastic comments to pretend that they were not getting along as well as they should. You nodded and looked at him.

"It's good to have you back."

Jay's smile widened and he put his hands on his hips.

"Look at that, you're happy to have me here."

You rolled your eyes and sat back in your chair when Voight left his office, leaning against the doorframe.

"How are you Jay?"

Jay nodded his head looking at his boss.

"Good, Sarge."

"Good, because I just hung up with the Superintendent and he wants to acknowledge what you did. Tomorrow there will be a public event, downtown."

You all clapped for a moment, before Voight continued speaking.

"Now try not to die until tomorrow."

Without saying more he returned to his office. Jay went to his desk to catch up on all the overdue paperwork, from time to time you looked up to observe him, you were glad to have him back but the moment you knew about the award, you felt a bitter taste in your mouth. Why were they going to decorate him when he almost died? 

You stood up and went to the coffee room, took one of the cups on the wall and poured yourself some, you still felt that bitter taste in your mouth. You heard footsteps behind you and looked over your shoulder.

"Are you okay?"

Jay asked, taking another cup, reaching for the pot and pouring himself some coffee as well. You leaned a little to look towards the door, checking that no one was around to hear you. You started to get tired of that, checking over your shoulders to see if no one could hear your conversations or whatever you were doing behind closed doors.

“Uhm, yes, I’m just a little tired. We have been in some paperwork duties from a few cases from the past weeks.”

You took a sip from the cup, making a little grin at the taste of the coffee.

“Well, just for the record, I know when something’s bothering you. We have been together almost a year.”

He looked satisfied with himself, and you couldn’t deny it because he was right, Jay knew you so well almost since day one. You looked at him and gave him a little smile, his mood was good after dealing with a grumpy man at his house because he couldn’t get back to work after being shot, and you definitely didn't want to be the one to screw it up. 

Kim walks into the room without realizing the interruption she just made or how you take a little more distance between you two, starts a little chat with Jay and you decide to go back to your desk.

Later, in the locker room, you were finishing picking up some things from your little blue locker, putting them in the gym bag you were carrying that day when Kevin appeared next to you, opening his own locker.

"I don't see you so happy today, you were quiet for most of the day, man you didn't even laugh at Ruzek's nonsense. I thought having Jay back would make you feel better."

You sighed and took a seat on the bench, rubbing your hands over your face before looking at your best friend. You played with your lower lip a bit before speaking.

"Kevin, am I crazy for wanting more in this relationship? I mean, we've worked well without anyone knowing, what difference would it make if we did from the knowledge of Voight, of our friends?"

They both fell silent when an officer entered the room and moments later he left the room, you clenched your fist and struck the cold metal in front of you, you felt frustrated and helpless. Kevin sat next to you, rubbing his hands together as he took his time answering you.

"Y/N, you are a pretty strong woman who knows what she wants, don't let anyone make you feel like you can't, not even some of my friends. If you want, I can talk to him, you know man to man" .

His comment made you laugh a little, releasing a bit of the tension in your chest, you bumped his shoulder with yours, pushing him a little.

"Thanks Kev. I don't think that talk is necessary but I will take it into account for future problems."

"Whenever you need me, girl."

You took your bag, Kevin had helped you lift your spirits but you knew you had to do something with your feelings, for better or for worse. 

Jay was in the kitchen when he heard you arrive, a smile formed on his face as he came out to greet you, an ice cold beer in his hand and a hockey game in the background on television. He walked over to you to kiss your forehead, took your bag and set it aside by the door.

"It took you a little longer than usual to get here, I'm sorry I didn't wait for you. Trudy wanted me to fill out some forms for tomorrow and I left earlier."

You couldn't look at Jay without stopping to think about the consequences that your words would have, you knew about his past and you didn't want to be the evil witch who would ruin what you both had until that day. You settled next to him, resting your head on his chest while he watched the game and he made imaginary shapes on the skin of your arm.

It took you a few minutes before you could form a sentence, your voice lacking the strength you had gathered all the way to his apartment.

"Jay, what if we tell Voight we're together?"

Your voice caught his attention, looking at you completely confused.

"Y/N, we both know that we can't say anything at the moment if we want to continue working in the same unit."

You slowly sat up again, turning a little so you could face him, Jay was sure of what he was saying, it showed in his face and in the confidence with which he had spoken.

"Jay, I'm tired of having to hide from everyone, like what we're doing is wrong. Voight will understand if-"

"I've been through this before Y/N, I know what I'm talking about. I also refused to hide my thing with Erin, but things changed. If we tell this to Voight he will remove someone from the team and we know it will not be me."

You felt the air come out of your lungs, as if someone had hit you, Jay realized his mistake when you stood up, he began to move his head trying to speak, he left the beer on the coffee table trying to take your hand .

"Y/N, it's not what- it's not what I meant ..."

Unaware of your movements, you started to take your things in a frenzy, Jay seemed to be talking to you but you couldn't identify his words or what he was trying to tell you, you just left.

To be continued...

#Jay Halstead #jay halstead imagine #jay halstead x you #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #hailey upton #kevin atwater #hank voight #adam ruzek #kim burgess #molly's bar

[helloalycia]

alex WILL kick my arse // supergirl

summary: you learn that being supergirl's doctor came with its challenges

warning/s: none.

author's note: i’m lowkey posting a bunch of stuff that i posted on my wattpad a while ago lol

masterlist | wattpad

I was sat in the medical unit of the DEO, reading through some medical reports from the past few months. I had just transferred from the DEO's desert facility, where I was one of the doctors there to help with any of the agents' injuries. After a long time there, I decided to transfer here when there was an opening for the lead doctor.

I thought it would be best to settle in by having a look at what severe cases had been dealt with recently. It was usually the same stuff – agents injured on field missions. Bullet wounds, broken bones, sprained muscles, thankfully nothing too severe. There hadn't been many major alien attacks which meant less risky field operations.

I was pulled from the reports when the red alarm light began to flash for a few seconds, accompanied by a siren, before turning off.

"Agent Y/L/N, Supergirl is incoming with J'onn," my radio went off – it was Director Danvers. "She's had a solar flare and got a gunshot wound."

I recalled what a solar flare was from research I'd done in Supergirl's medical records. That was something I prioritised when coming here, since we didn't have Supergirl at the other facility.

"I'm prepping a bed and equipment now," I replied through the radio, before hurrying to do that. J'onn could literally fly, he'd be here any minute.

With the help of some nurses who were around, I prepped a bed and had the solar energy panels on standby for when/if her powers came back sooner than we thought. I had the tools ready to bandage up her gunshot wound temporarily when both heroes appeared beside me.

J'onn was stood there, holding Supergirl bridal style and lowering her onto the bed.

"Still getting used to that," I mumbled, surprised at how he just sped in here.

"I said I'm– agh, I'm fine," Supergirl complained, clutching her bloody wound and trying to sit up. "My powers will come back."

I stepped by her bedside and pushed her back down gently, moving closer to inspect her wound. "Please stay still for a second."

"Listen to the doctor," J'onn teased to lighten the mood.

Supergirl rolled her eyes and stayed still. I removed her hand and noticed it was covered in blood.

"Can somebody come clean this up?" I called out to one of the nurses, motioning to her hand.

One of the nurses did as I asked as I took a look at her wound. The bullet was still in there by the looks of it.

"How many times do I have to tell you not to overwork yourself?!" Director Danvers' voice called out as she walked in.

She was glaring at Supergirl, though the worry in her eyes was evident as she took in the hero's appearance.

"It's barely a scratch, Alex, it'll heal," Supergirl said dismissively, but as I cleaned up the blood with a cloth, I saw her clench her jaw a little.

"You need to be careful, you're not indestructible," Alex reminded her, before looking to J'onn. "Can you believe her?"

J'onn chuckled. "I'll leave you both to it. I should get back." He glanced at me. "Good luck."

I nodded his way, offering a small smile as he walked away.

"As fun as it is watching you both glare at each other, I do need to remove the bullet," I spoke up, interrupting both girls' staring contest.

"Go for it," Supergirl said, her eyes meeting mine.

"With anaesthetic," Alex added, shooting another glare towards the blonde.

"I don't need anaesthetic," Supergirl countered with an eye-roll and scoff.

"You're human for the time being, remember?" Alex reminded her before looking to me. "Anaesthetic, please."

I bit my lower lip as they erupted into another argument about how I should proceed. I didn't know either of them well enough to cut in, so I stood there awkwardly, trying to stop the blood loss and planning out how I could temporarily bandage her up so it could heal itself when she gets her powers back.

"I have to go," Alex finally said, pulling me back into reality. "I have to check on the bank robbery." She didn't seem too happy leaving Supergirl here, but she gave her a knowing look before looking to me. "Please make sure she stays put?"

"You got it, Director," I said with a playful salute. How hard could it be to keep her here?

Alex gave Supergirl one last warning look before leaving us be. I looked to the blonde who was finally breathing out, letting her guard down a little now that it was just us.

"The anaesthetic will make it bearable, just so I can remove the bullet," I spoke, causing her to open her eyes and look at me. "I'm just gonna bandage you up temporarily and you'll heal yourself when you get your powers back. Shouldn't be more than a few days, according to your medical history."

She swallowed hard before shaking her head. "I've been through much worse. It's okay. Just remove it and bandage me up. The sooner I'm out of here, the better."

I was ready to argue, but she gave me a convincing look and I couldn't help but give in.

"Fine, but you stay here and rest," I reasoned, to which she gave me a small, cute smile.

I got to work and surprisingly, she managed. It went well and I managed to bandage her up quite quickly, though it did mean I had to cut into her suit a little. Better safe than sorry though.

"Okay, you're all done," I said, patting her arm supportively, before packing away the gauze. "I'm gonna go get you some water and then you should take it easy, stay here maybe until you get your powers back. That alright?"

She gave me a thumbs up and a promising smile. "You got it, doc."

I was fairly confident that she would listen to me, since she seemed polite and was a trooper throughout the whole thing. However, I soon realised how naive I had been when I returned and her bed was empty.

I facepalmed and shook my head, realising she'd definitely played along the whole time.

The first thing I did was look around the DEO, asking around if anyone had seen Supergirl. I eventually followed the commotion coming from the main hall and spotted both Supergirl and Director Danvers having an argument.

"...stay and rest! You can't keep ignoring simple instructions, Kara!" Alex shouted around her.

Supergirl rolled her eyes and continued to look at the tablet in her hand. I approached the two and cleared my throat loudly to get the blonde's attention.

When she noticed me, she gave me a sheepish smile. "Doctor Y/L/N. Heeeeeeey."

"One job, literally," Alex mumbled, giving me a knowing look, before storming off.

I breathed out and glared at Supergirl. "Are you serious? I asked you to stay put!"

She straightened up and spread her arms out for emphasis. "But I'm fine! See? Nothing hurts, I'm walking, it's all good! Job well done, I must say. You're new, right? Well, I know why you got the job!"

She avoided my glare as she walked around me to get to the other side of the desk.

"You've heard of the term 'first impressions count', haven't you?" I asked her, raising an eyebrow.

She gave me a knowing look. "C'mon. You can't hate me for this."

I sighed. "I've got work to do. Call me if you tear your stitches."

Resisting the urge to roll my eyes, I turned around and began to leave.

"I'm not gonna tear them!" I heard her call out from behind me, but I didn't care. I wasn't her parent, she could do what she wanted.

I wish I'd known I was dealing with a stubborn Super before accepting this job though.

–

"What a surprise," I said sarcastically.

A few hours later, I'd been called into one of the medical rooms because apparently, Supergirl had collapsed from blood loss and tore her stitches. Shocker.

"Is she going to be okay?" Alex asked as I got to work for the second time that day.

"Yeah, if she decides to listen to me this time," I said, sighing. "Is she always this stubborn?"

Alex clenched her jaw. "Unfortunately, yes... you think you can keep her here next time?"

"I'll give it my best shot," I promised her. "I'll call you when she's up?"

Alex nodded, patting me on the shoulder. "Thanks."

She left me to do my thing and this time I did things my way, the right way, with anaesthetic and IV fluid. I managed to sort out Supergirl's mess before going back to my office to fill out some more paperwork.

Some time passed when I found myself going back to check on Supergirl and see if she was awake. I was cleaning up a little around her side table when I heard her stir awake. She seemed confused at first, as she looked around and saw the tube coming from her arm. Eventually, realisation set in and she sank into her pillow.

I decided to stay quiet as I finished up, about to leave, but she stopped me.

"Wait," she called out. I paused as she continued, "I'm sorry."

I turned around and waited, watching as, unlike before, she wasn't joking or being unserious.

"I should have stayed put before. And listened to you. I didn't mean to offend you or come across as rude," she continued genuinely.

I crossed my arms and straightened up. "Well, Supergirl–"

"Kara," she interrupted. "It's Kara."

I nodded. "Okay, Kara. Yes, you probably should have listened. I redid your stitches and I'm asking you to stay put again. You're human for now and you need to act like one."

"You're right," she agreed, breathing out. "Sorry."

I realised that she seemed to mean it and at the end of the day, I was her doctor, so I couldn't hold a grudge. Instead, I went to her bedside and checked her monitors to see how she was doing.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, glancing at her.

"Tired. Achey. But better than before."

"That'll be the meds kicking in," I said, giving her a reassuring smile. "I did have to get in there twice."

Her cheeks went pink as she smiled with embarrassment. "I'm not used to being so..."

"Fragile?" I finished for her.

"Exactly," she said, nodding. "I'm not used to it and staying put isn't exactly my forte."

"I could tell," I joked, making her laugh a little. She had a nice laugh.

"About that first impressions thing..." she began, blue eyes holding mine nervously.

"It's nice to meet you for the first time, Kara," I said, holding out my hand. "I'm Y/N. Your doctor."

She cracked a smile, realising what I was doing. She shook my hand and said, "Nice to meet you, too, Y/N."

"Okay, I should go and get Alex," I said, backing up to leave. "Now please don't leave because Alex will kick my arse if you're not here when she comes back."

She laughed again. "I promise I'll be here when you return."

"Fingers crossed you're not playing me again," I mumbled loud enough for her to hear.

Her laughter seemed to follow me out the room, leaving me smiling to myself.

#supergirl imagine #supergirl x reader #kara danvers x you #kara danvers imagines #kara danvers imagine #kara danvers #kara danvers x reader #melissa benoist

[lovemalecforever]

Chapter 12

Family isn't always blood

Alec looked at his Parabatai then to his sister then to him again and sighed heavily before speaking. "Because there is something I want to talk about which needs all of your presence."

"Excuse me!?" Jace exclaimed, "Alec, I can feel your nervousness, what is going on? You're making me scared buddy, we almost lost yo-"

"Jace, calm down. I'll tell you when everyone will be here, and it's nothing bad, okay?"

Even after the reassurance, Jace was still not convinced. He could feel how scared and nervous Alec was through their bond. There were so many probabilities running through his mind, minding that Magnus wasn't there with him when that man never leaves his brother alone.

"Jace, stop. I can literally feel you getting stressed up, I told you, Jace, it's nothing, just... wait for a while."

Jace sighed and nodded. He had met his Parabatai, his brother after a long time, and making him upset or angry was the last thing he wanted. "Sorry Alec, but really, you told Izzy that you're coming but not me? Seriously? Am I not important to you anymore?" he dramatically put his hand over his chest. "You have hurt me, dude."

Alec rolled his eyes. "Stop being overdramatic, Jace. Besides, the look on your face told me that it was worth it."

"Boyzzz!" Izzy interrupted, shaking her head at her brothers for their silliness. "So, big brother, whom do you want to meet first, Clary or Simon?" Out of everyone, Izzy knew really well that Alec considers them family now, remembering the fact that he admitted it when she and Simon visited him.

"It's been long I've seen nugget in training mode. I would like to see her training and meanwhile, tell Simon to come here, I want to talk to you both privately before talking to everyone else."

"What the hell!? Alec, First, stop giving my girlfriend these stupid nicknames, and second what are you guys are up to?"

"Jace, stop." Izzy spoke firmly, "Don't bombard our brother with questions, he just arrived. And, besides, I want to see how Clary's doing so can we move now?"

"Fine, let's go." Jace sighed, and they left for the training room.

While heading towards the training room, Alec didn't miss the changes that had been made at the Institute, especially the weapons room. He knew he made the right decision to make his sister the Head of the Institute when he accepted the post of Inquisitor at Alicante, and she's doing a brilliant job. He couldn't help but feel proud of his sister.

It's been around an hour since Clary started her training, her hair was tied up in a ponytail, she was wearing a perfectly fitted navy blue sports bra with red stripes on it, the back having cross straps with blue-grey yoga pants and red and blue colored sports shoes. Her hands were wrapped in boxing bandages, blowing punches and kicks to the punching bag, which had now started to tear.

"Slow down Parabatai, looks like you're having a bad day, or did you not get it last night, huh?" Izzy teased as she walked towards her soon-to-be Parabatai, a smirk playing on her face, and Jace's face flushed.

"Izzy, Hey!" Clary greeted then held the towel that Izzy offered her. "And to answer your question, both. Bad day because Jace was being an idiot last night, and this morning too." She said, making Izzy burst into laughter.

"Really Clary, discussing our sex life with my sister!? Not appreciated!" Jace said as he walked in.

"She's my best friend, Herondale. I can discuss whatever I want." Clary shrugged and snatched the water bottle that he offered her.

"Oops! Looks like someone screwed up badly." Izzy said while suppressing her laugh, earning a glare from Jace.

Clary almost choked on the water she was drinking and dropped the bottle on the floor in the process when her eyes fell on the third person present in that room, standing by the door frame.

"ALEC!"

"Hello, Carrot!" Alec walked in and laughed when she literally jumped on him. "Get down, carrot, you're drenched in sweat."

"Really! Carrot, Carrot!? Seriously, Alec, I told you to stop giving her names, don't you-"

"I find it cute," Clary said, interrupting her boyfriend and making him dumbfounded. "Alec, when did you come? And where's Magnus?" She asked when her excitement died down and was back on her feet.

"Just now, and Magnus didn't come, I had some work."

"Okay, now I'm jealous, what had Simon done, big brother? Jace? Why do you both treat him like that?" Izzy pouted.

"I like him, but that vampire gets under my skin sometimes. No offense, Izzy." Jace said flatly.

"Izzy, Simon had done nothing, you know I like him, I just don't feel like being like that around him. There's nothing else." Alec reassured, making her sigh.

Izzy's phone buzzed, breaking their chain of conversation. She picked it up to check the message. "It's Si, he'll be here in some time. Your room or my office?" She asked.

"In my room," Alec answered while Jace and Clary kept glancing between the siblings. "I'll tell you both later."

Clary nodded. "I'm going to get a shower, see you later, Alec." With that, she picked up her stuff and left the hall.

"Wait, Clary! Excuse me!" Jace said hurried after his girlfriend leaving the other two laughing at their situation.

"It's good to have her back, you know," Izzy said when they both left the room. "Jace is a different person now, and happier too."

"I know. I can feel it. I'm happy for him, he deserves this. Looking back at how broken he was 3 years ago, I'm really happy that Clary got her memories back. They didn't deserve what happened 5 years ago."

"What's wrong!?" She asked when she noticed an unknown expression clouding her brother's face.

"Izzy, promise me you won't tell Jace what I'm about to say, else I won't hear the end of it."

Izzy raised her brow but eventually nodded.

"You know how much I used to hate Clary when she first came into our lives, she's still annoying, but looking at her now, at them, they are meant for each other, they complete each other. And I'm really happy that they found each other, all over again." He said, having a bright smile on his face.

"You're right, big brother. Jace will never stop teasing you if he'll hear what you just said. And, I agree, they are meant for each other."

Clary came back to their lives almost two and a half years ago. It took her almost a year and a half after meeting Jace at her painting exhibition to regain her memories of the shadow world. When she remembered Jace at the alley of the building where her exhibition was held, Jace frequented their meetings in the hope that she'd remember everything but hid it from everyone else. That was until Simon found out and confronted him, in the process bumping into her becoming the second person she remembered.

Clary always had an empty space in her heart, a void, which kept telling her that something was missing. That was until she met Jace, and she knew that she knew him from somewhere. There were bits and pieces in her mind of a club, bike riding, or some similar events, but they were never complete.

When both boys told everyone about Clary, it was Magnus who advised them to take things slow and not rush her memories. She met everyone, remembered them one by one, Luke being the third one, then Jocelyn, followed by the incomplete memory of her death, which resulted in regaining her memories at a great pace.

What broke the floodgates of her memories was when Jace and Clary were returning from their date, and they were attacked by a shapeshifting demon, which Clary killed with complete ease, shocked at first, but the sudden appearance and disappearance of her runes made her remember that she's a Shadowhunter.

The most beautiful thing which happened between all this was Clary fell in love with Jace all over again, oblivious about their past and Jace's feelings, making him the happiest person in the universe.

When she remembered everything, and stepped into the institute once again, and got all her runes back, she was visited by her mother's soul once again telling her that the Angels had forgiven her, she still has her extra share of powers, but she needs to be careful this time and not repeat the mistakes she made in the past. From that time on she became a completely new person. Better than before, more fierce, stronger, but still stubborn, annoying, and irritating at times.

The most epic thing to happen was Alec and Clary's relationship. From hating each other to frenemies to friends to a weird brother-sister relationship, they came a long way. The bitter comments Alec used to make about her were now more of teasing and mocking in a good way. They had started understanding each other, making everyone around them shocked with their bonding.

***************************

Simon was already pacing in Alec's room when Izzy and Alec entered, making Alec sigh out of frustration. "Stop digging holes in my carpet, Lewis," Alec commented.

"Really!?"

"Boys!" Izzy shook her head. "I can't with you people!" She mumbled, then turned towards her brother. "So, what did you find Alec?"

"Everything!" He answered and explained to them the complete process of becoming immortal. When he was done both of their faces were filled with shock and astonishment.

"So, you have to drink Fray's blood and ask her to talk to Angel Ithuriel on your behalf, that's... interesting. Do you think she'll agree?" Simon asked curiously.

"That we'll see. Are you both okay with this?" Alec asked hesitantly.

Simon and Izzy exchanged a look. "Of course we are, big brother. I'm really happy for you." She hugged her brother tightly. Alec looked at Simon who nodded and smiled at him, he smiled back and mouthed thank you to him.

They broke their hug and Alec sighed with relief. "I'm glad to have your support, but, Izzy, I need advice, I'm confused."

"What is it?"

"Should I wait for everyone to arrive and talk to them tonight altogether, or I'll talk to everyone privately? I don't know how everyone's gonna react, especially Jace and Clary."

Izzy didn't know what to say to that. She looked at Simon than at her brother, trying to form words when Simon broke the silence.

"Um... I don't know what you think, Iz, but I think you should talk to everyone privately, talking to everyone at the same time would mean too many emotions in one place when you don't know how will everyone react which can become uneasy for you. But it's completely up to you." He said carefully.

"I think you're right Simon, thank you. It might take time, but I'll get a fair amount of time with everyone. And I think I'm going to make Jace and Clary wait for the last." He said with a chuckle.

"Now, Izzy, till the time mom and Luke arrive, why don't you and Clary show me what I've asked for!?" He asked with a wide smile.

Simon had a confused expression from his question, making Alec chuckle with the realization that neither of the women had told anyone about the gifts he had asked them to help him make for Magnus.

"Come on then, big brother. It's in Clary's room." She wrapped her arm around her brother's, dropped the silencing rune, and walked towards Jace and Clary's shared room. When they were near their room they heard loud arguments coming from their room making them exchange looks.

"Can we come in Fray? Or are you both going to continue with whatever you were arguing about?" Simon asked while suppressing his laugh, earning a flying pillow from Clary, which he dodged successfully, making Alec and Izzy burst with laughter, and Jace completely embarrassed.

"Are you people done?" Alec asked.

Clary cleared her throat and steadied herself. "Yeah, come in."

"Are you still working on it, or is it completed? Alec wants to see it." Izzy said the excitement was clearly visible in her voice.

"Oh, are you sure Alec? It's not completed yet."

"Completed or not, I want to see both of your's!"

"Okay, it's in my art room."

"Art room?" "What the hell is going on!?" Alec and Jace said at the same time.

Jace was carefully listening to their conversation, making a frown appear on his forehead. He looked at Simon who was mirroring his confused expressions, but no one else, making his nerves rise.

Alec sighed. "Izzy and Clary, may I know why you both kept it hidden from them?" He waved towards Simon and Jace.

"We thought it would be nice to surprise them too, we want to see their expressions when it's done," Izzy said.

Jace and Simon exchanged a look, Jace was about to say something when Alec raised his hand to shut him up. He shook his head in disbelief. "I didn't get my answer, Art room?"

"Oh, my old room, now that I share the room with Jace, I converted that to my personal Art room. Are you really sure, Alec?"

"Yes, and anyways I want it completed before I leave for Alicante."

"Are you sure, big brother? Will you be able to hide from Magnus for that long?" Izzy raised her brow at him.

"Alec, if this makes you relieved, I got permission from Angels to use the portal rune as a permanent rune for me, and anyways I and Izzy are gonna portal to the lakeside to complete all the decorations you've asked for. You can meet us there and take the gifts from us." Clary said.

Alec looked at Clary in disbelief. "You got permission? That's something. Okay then, take your time, but it should be completed by Wednesday."

"We're almost done, big brother. Don't worry!"

*************

They all walked towards Clary's Art room, Alec was way too excited to see what they've done. Clary opens the door, which was filled with the scent of fresh colors, different shapes of brushes were spread in the whole room and a bunch of them were kept in a pen stand with several watercolor bottles and charcoal pencils on a wooden table in the corner of the room. There were different shapes of canvases filled in the whole room.

Clary went forward and removed a red-colored cloth that was covering a medium-sized canvas, only to reveal 3 frame-sized paintings pinned on the canvas, the 4th one was ongoing and one was empty. Alec's jaw fell on the ground seeing them.

"You... you're painting them!?"

"You like it?" Clary asked nervously, biting her nails, and looked at Izzy.

Alec went forward and traced his fingers over the painting of their wedding, both in tuxedos, holding hands, a look of pure happiness on their faces. "Put this in the center, and frame them properly. Magnus is going to love it. And I do too. Thank you, redhead!"

Clary sighed with relief and nodded with a warm smile.

"What the he-"

"Wow, these are beautiful Fray, so that's not the only surprise you're planning for Magnus? It's so lovely!"

"Yes, there's more Simon. I told you and Izzy alre-"

"What is going on!? And why am I the only one who doesn't know anything!?" Jace yelled.

Alec sighed for the billionth time that day. "Jace, are you really not getting it, or are you seriously not remembering!?"

Every eyes were on Jace now. "Remember wha... oh shit!" He gulped when he realized the paintings were from Alec's wedding to all of their following anniversaries. And it's his brother's anniversary next week.

"Sorry, Alec. I forgot about your anniversary. So, that's why Magnus is not here, you're planning a surprise, huh?" He said teasingly knowing that his brother is bad with surprises.

Alec rolled his eyes and smacked Jace on the back of his head, earning a whiney 'Ow' from him while others burst into laughter. "So, Izzy!?"

"It's in the weapons room, come on!"

*********************

They were all in the weapons room, Izzy had vacated the room for some time, and they were the only five present there. She went towards the right side rack, opened the second last drawer and took out a black-colored box, and walked towards the center table where everyone was standing.

"Big brother, it's yet to be completed. The whole engraving is remaining, you sure!?"

"Engraving?" Others said in unison.

"Yes, Izzy! Just show me whatever is done!"

Izzy opened the box to reveal a set of 3 diamond rings, sitting on fake fingers, two on the base and one in the middle of the finger, each connected with silver chains having tiny emeralds covering the whole chain. It was a really beautiful ring. There was a bundle of diamond cuts sitting on the base of the box.

Everyone's jaws were dropped on the floor. The ring was shining brightly in the dullness of the room.

"Why extra diamonds?" Clary asked curiously.

"These are going to be fixed on the engraving. Alec, thoughts?" She asked, her voice filled with nervousness and excitement.

"Wow! I... I'm speechless. You did a great job, Izzy. Magnus is definitely going to fall in love with it."

"I already am," Clary confessed. Her eyes were shining with the lights the diamond ring was emitting.

"I didn't know my girlfriend was this talented!" Simon said. He and Jace were completely dumbfounded.

They all got out of their trance with a loud squeal Izzy made, way too excited and proud of her work. They all exchanged a look and shook their heads at her.

Before Izzy could say, her phone buzzed and her expressions went from excited to soft.

"What?" Alec asked.

"Mom and Luke are here, you're ready, Alec?"

Alec sighed. "Let's get this over with!"

#asaab #angst with a happy ending #angst #fanfic authors #alec lightwood #fantasy #fanfiction #fanfic #lightwood bane family #malec forever #malec fic #happily married #magnus bane #malec

[sincerelyasomebody]

For This Moment || Jose "Sad Eyes" Guzman

(GIF Credit: @merakiaes)

A/N: Grammatical errors are expected, took a few days to write this. Kept getting distracted. Added background-ish info on Sad Eyes. Tried to mix in what has been mentioned on the show and what I came up with. Please let me know if changes need to be made with the Spanish translations. 

Pairing(s): Sad Eyes x Reader 

Summary: Everything happens for a reason. 

Warnings: fluff, friendzone(d), language, 

Word Count: 2716

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

The sheer joy on the children's faces and the sound of their laughter, as they watched Principal Nichols be dunked in a water tank, was definitely going to be a highlight for this year's Freeridge Elementary Fun Fair. (Y/N) cheered with them as he was met with a pie to the face, exiting the tank, from his wife Lois. She laughed when a few of her colleagues ambushed the pair with silly string. 

A great way to officially declare the fair to be open. 

(Y/N) maneuvered her way through the crowd, saying quick 'hello's to the parents of her students, and walked up the pathway leading into the school hall. The space had been split into two areas – hers was the booth of prizes with Kira and Lyall, the music teachers. Instead of the multiple game booths having their own set prizes, winners of the games would be given a token. The amount of tokens won equated to what kind of prize you could get. On the other side of the hall was face painting which Rachel, David and Connor, all fifth grade teachers, were in charge of. This would be (Y/N)'s first time in charge of a booth and she was bubbling with excitement. As a past pupil of the elementary, she was happy to know that the fun fair was still going. Only this time more planning, effort and funding was put into it. The hall was beginning to fill up with those wanting to get their face painted, so she decided to look at the classroom photos from the past hung up on the walls. It didn't take long to spot the familiar second-grade classroom photo that hung up in her parents house. Her eyes scanned through the faces until they landed on the boy in the black button up shirt, khaki shorts and scuffed up shoes; Jose Guzman. 

A boy she hadn't really thought much of when the school year started. Until an incident involving both of them allowed an interaction to occur.

Mr Macks (a college student on placement) tried to entertain the students, while their teacher Mrs Robin left to do some photocopying, but it was proving to be difficult. Even more so when he stepped in to deal with a scuffle between three students. He sent them to the reading nook at the back of the class, with the message that Mrs Robin would talk to them when she got back. Then he focused his attention on the rest of the class.

(Y/N) held the drawing of her Poppa's garden, scribbled over with a marker, tightly to her chest as she sat beside the window. Bobby sat next to the library shelf, with his arms folded, and Jose sat in the space between them with legos in his hands.

All three of them knew they were trouble, they just didn't know how much trouble they were in.

"Bobby's a shithead," Jose whispered.

(Y/N)'s eyes widened, "that's a bad word!" She looked over at Mr. Macks who continued to read to the class, "you're gonna get in more trouble!"

"Are you gonna tell on me?"

"No." He gave her a nod, "good."

"Okay if I don't tell on you, you can't tell on me."

"Why would I tell on you?"

She looked at Bobby, "because he's not a shithead, he's an asshole."

They stared at each other for a moment before bursting into giggles, their hands quickly covering their mouths. However, this caught the attention of Bobby, who glared at the pair, "you're not allowed to talk."

"You're not allowed to talk," mocked Jose, "shut up, asshole."

(Y/N) giggled and looked over at Bobby's face, "yeah, shut your face shithead."

"Your mama played you when she put that big ass bow on your head," (Y/N) turned around and was met with a smirk, "Lyla teased you the whole day."

Jose 'Sad Eyes' Guzman. 

No longer the boy in the picture, but a man.

"I had a sore head and she got a bleeding nose," responded (Y/N) with a shrug. 

Before he could reply, (Y/N) was called back over to her booth. A line had formed and those waiting were getting antsy. She gave her old friend a smile and then dashed back to where she was stationed. Quickly checking over the prizes and helping those in front of her choose what they wanted. When (Y/N) had been offered a job at her old elementary, she immediately packed up her life in San Diego and moved back to Freeridge. Despite San Diego being her home all throughout college and two years post graduation, Freeridge would always hold a special place in her heart. Upon returning she had moved into an apartment a few blocks away from the school and also her parents home. Moving back felt different, but a good kind of different. She was surprised that the interaction with Sad Eyes (she was unsure if she had a right to call him by his government name) wasn't awkward, considering the way their last interaction had ended. But, (Y/N) concluded that they had both grown since then. 

Exchanging tokens for prizes, chatting with some more parents (mostly discussing their child/ren's progress) and grabbing more prizes from behind the stage was beginning to take a toll on the woman. Thankfully, the fair was almost over - just another hour or so, before the staff and parent helpers would pack everything up. With the prize booth looking a bit empty, she decided to take a walk.

"I'll be back to help pack up," she told Lyall and smirked when his focus was on Kira, talking to a group of her students, "ask her out." 

He gave her an eye roll, "get outta here." With a laugh, she moved in front of the booth and walked out of the hall. A bouncy castle on the front field caught her attention, but she stayed away from it when she noticed the clown printed on the front. She followed the smell of (food) which brought her to the junior courtyard of the school. Buying herself two and a (drink), she sat herself down at an empty table. She ate and drank, enjoying the somewhat peaceful atmosphere. Her eyes scanned her surroundings and just happened to land on Sad Eyes. She stood up when she noticed he was cradling his hand in the other. Catalina, his sister, walking beside him. She threw her rubbish away and walked up to them.

"What happened?" 

He shook his head, "nothing, I'm fine." 

Catalina scoffed, "dumbass punched the button for Oso to be dunked and now it's most likely bruised," she then smiled at (Y/N), "lookin' good, chica." She then nudged her brother, "tell her she looks good, idiota." 

Laughing, (Y/N) shook her head, "thanks, Lina, I'll take it from here." She was met with a smile and nod, before the young woman walked off. (Y/N) gestured for him to follow her. They walked into the front office and made a right turn into the sick bay. (Y/N) had him sit on one of the bunks. Gently taking his hand into hers, she looked it over, "it's not swelling up, so it doesn't appear that anything's broken, probably bruised like Lina said." She turned around and grabbed an ice-pack from the refrigerator, wrapping it in a towel and placed it on the hand, "here you go." 

He smiled at her, "thanks bubs."

The sound of her old nickname mixed with the situation at hand, caused a reminiscent wave to wash over her. 

"I guess it's official," (Y/N) gently placed the cloth wrapped ice-pack on Jose's shoulder, "congrats, how do you feel?"

Gently laying back on the couch, he winced as another ice-pack was placed on his stomach, "siento que me voy a desmayer." "

"Jose."

He laughed, but quickly stopped, "mierda!" (Y/N) handed over the ibuprofen and a cup of water. Gulping it down quickly, he handed the empty cup back, "I was kidding."

She snatched the cup and put it on the coffee table, "better be… but you feel any different?"

"I guess the only difference is that I know my Ma and Lina will be taken care of if anything happens to me."

(Y/N) flicked his forehead, "don't say shit like that," smirking she looked at him, "Mama G's gonna kick your ass."

"She's gonna kick both our asses," he looked at her, "I got jumped in and you skipped a day," a smirk appeared on his face, "not a good look on your college application, Miss (L/N)." "

"Shut up."

He reached out and squeezed her hand, "kidding, bubs, you'll be accepted in whatever college you want."

"You think so?"

"With your grades, extra curricular activities and the recommendation letters you're gonna get? Kind of hard not too," he replied, "but, you've got time until the application process."

She nodded, "yeah," shifting on the couch, she smiled, "so, have you got a street name?"

"Yeah."

Looking at him expectantly, "well, what is it?"

"Sad Eyes."

(Y/N) gave him a smile, "no worries, Sad Eyes." 

He sighed, "Sad Eyes?"

"It's your name," she pointed out and gently removed her hand from his, "you can stay in here, but I've gotta help with the pack up." Just as she stepped back, he got to his feet, "Sad Eyes just –" 

"Jose, (Y/N)," he cut her off, "okay? Not Sad Eyes."

"Everyone else calls –" 

"You're not everyone else, bubs." His eyes locked with the (colour) orbs, he was familiar with, "when it comes to you, I'm Jose." 

"Alright, then, Jose," she laughed when he gave her a goofy grin, "you staying here or what?" 

He walked through the door, "let's pack some shit up." 

She followed after him. The junior courtyard was filled with parents and teachers alike packing up the tables and chairs. They made small talk along the way. Entering through the side doors, she hurried over to help Lyall take down the leftover prizes and place them into boxes. Anything that was in good condition would be kept for next year's fun fair. Kira carried the boxes onto the stage. (Y/N) took over sweeping the hall with Rachel because David and Connor were using the brooms as swords. Jose tried to help, but (Y/N) didn't want him to injure his hand even more. Her coworkers didn't seem bothered with having a Santos member in close proximity. Once everything was cleaned and packed away, Kira and Lyall made their way to the staffroom where a lunch was held to say thank you to the staff and parents for their help.

(Y/N) decided to opt out of the lunch, when Connor, David and Kira joined the pair and asked if she was coming along. Parent-Teacher conferences were coming up soon and she wanted to make sure her classroom was all set up for it. As it was her first official year teaching (after graduation she worked as a learning support member to gain a bit more experience 'cause she felt she needed to do more groundwork) she wanted to make sure it was presentable. 

"It doesn't look like anything's changed," commented Jose, as he followed (Y/N) into their old second-grade classroom, and put his ice-pack on her desk.

She laughed, "yeah, just a few things to keep up with the new generation," she walked over to the reading nook, "remember this?" 

This time he laughed, "how could I forget? Bobby was and still is an asshole and a shithead," he shook his head, "can't believe Mrs Robin made us write him apology letters, even when he was the one who started the whole fight." 

"He was her favourite," replied (Y/N), as she rearranged a few books, "but, I didn't mind 'cause I made a new friend that day." 

A silence fell between the duo, but she didn't think anything of it. She moved through the classroom straightening up things as she passed by. Jose watched her and couldn't help but smile. He couldn't deny that he missed her when she moved away for college. Being involved with the gang allowed him to be a part of a brotherhood and he was so caught up in it that he didn't recognise that he was pushing her away. 

Until it was too late.

"I'm sorry, (Y/N)." 

She immediately stopped what she was doing and turned around, "what?" Realising what he was apologising for, she shook her head, "Jose it's fine. It was years ago." 

"That doesn't make it okay," he replied, "if I could go back and fix everything, I would." 

(Y/N) stuffed her hands into the pockets of her jacket, staring at the Santos party across the street. She watched as the party-goers laughed and danced to the music. Her heart sank at the sight of Jose with his arm wrapped around a girl. Spooky noticed her and shouted, "(Y/N)!" With the call of her name, Jose looked up. He quickly got up from where he was and walked to where she stood, a bright smile on his face.

"Are you gonna stand there or come and join the party?" he laughed.

She bit her bottom lip, "no… I just – uh, Lina told me where you would be," her eyes drifted over to the party and then back to him, "after we waited for an hour for you to show up."

His eyebrows furrowed, "show up for what?" 

"My birthday dinner," (Y/N) explained, "just finished actually, the celebratory mood kinda died when Lina let it slip that Spooky was also throwing a party," she kicked at the curb, "not a surprise that your priorities have changed, but it doesn't mean it hurts any less."

"(Y/N) I –"

"I get it. But, it wasn't just a birthday dinner you missed. It was the fact that I announced that I'm graduating," she blinked back the tears, "at the top of my class. And, I wanted to make sure everyone that helped me along the way knew how much they meant to me, you know? It fucking sucked 'cause the one who has always supported my venture outside of Freeridge promised they'd never switch up… and then switched up."

Jose moved to hug her, but she held up her hands. He watched as she wiped her eyes and looked at him with her (colour) eyes. The (colour) eyes that always allowed him to know what she was feeling, when the words didn't leave her mouth.

"(Y/N) –"

"Whatever, enjoy the rest of your night, Sad Eyes."

And with that, she walked off.

"Unfortunately, time travel hasn't been invented yet, so you can't go back. But, that's okay." She stepped towards him, "I wouldn't want you too. I'm sorry as well. For ignoring all of your calls. If I could go back, I would pick up every single one and answer." She wrapped her arms around him, "I missed you, Jose." 

He kissed her head, "I missed you too, (Y/N). 

They held each other close. Jose rubbed his hands up and down her back, loving the feeling of having her back in his arms. (Y/N) breathed in his scent and squeezed him tighter. She listened to the rhythmn of his heart, before stepping back to look at him. He smiled at her, hands still caressing her back. 

All of a sudden the atmosphere shifted. 

His hands wandered down to her waist giving it a gentle squeeze, while hers gently gripped his arms. Slowly, their faces inched towards each other until their lips touched. Jose trailed up a hand to the back of her head to deepen the kiss, (Y/N) happily accepted it, hands moving to wrap around his neck. 

"Been wanting to do that since you punched Bobby in the face," he commented once they broke apart.

"That's interesting, 'cause I've wanted to do that since you poured the bucket of legos over his head."

Jose kissed her nose, forehead touching hers, "gotta be some full circle kinda shit, querida." 

"Yeah, it's gotta be," (Y/N) replied and pulled him back in for a kiss. 

- ♤ - ♡ - ◇ - ♧ -

Spanish Translation(s):

Chica - girl

Idiota - idiot

Siento que me voy a desmayer - I feel like I'm going to pass out

Mierda - shit

Querida - honey

#sad eyes #sad eyes guzman #sad eyes x reader #sad eyes guzman x reader #x reader #reader insert #onmyblock #onmyblockfanfiction #los santos #freeridge #sincerelyasomebody

[raleighliving]

Raleigh Apartment Culture

So I'm of the mind that Raleigh is a great place to live. It has my favorite things, my favorite people, and I'm too broke to move anywhere else.

Raleigh works for me, but I recognize it doesn't work for everyone. Some people had less than ideal childhoods and wanna escape the state ASAP, some just want to live closer to their dream jobs or have new opportunities. That's all fine, but what if this describes where you are now?

What if, for the sake of argument, you're outside of NC and wanna move in? Moving is expensive, time-consuming, and risky at the best of times; so you wanna make sure that wherever you're landing is at least as good as where you started 90% of the time

"But RL," I hear you say, "you make Raleigh sound like an idyllic dreamscape populated with parks and a diverse kumbayah of peoples living in harmony"

I do talk about Raleigh in a positive light but, like a life saving medicine flavored like ass, sometimes you have to take the good with the bad.

So before you spend thousands of dollars on moving vans, boxes, and grits; here's a crash course on what it's like living in a Raleigh apartment, coming from someone whose majority of Raleigh Living (heh) has been in apartments.

First off, location. Any realtor will tell you that location is 80% of the sale to sound profound, and as anyone who has lived in the middle of ass-backward nowhere can tell you: It sucks having to drive 30 minutes to go anywhere.

Good news: With the Raleigh Beltline and connecting roads, there are very few places in Raleigh where your trip will last longer than thirty minutes one-way. Bad News: where you set down still matters because cutting down on travel is important for car and mental health.

North Raleigh is different from south Raleigh is different from northwest Raleigh, and the locals aren't the only difference you'll find between locations. Each segment of Raleigh has something to offer, with easier access to some attractions than others and neighboring cities for when you need something outside the RDU area.

Using downtown as the center of our wheel, people generally divide Raleigh into North and South Raleigh (with distinction given for NW, SE, NE, etc when needed). N.Raleigh is considered generally more upscale, a slice of suburban living interspersed with plenty of shopping centers for families and the moderately wealthy; but it's boring as all hell.

Want some fun? Excitement in the evenings and a more traditional urban experience with bars, night clubs, strip clubs, and more? South Raleigh is your best bet, at the cost of being the "sketchy" side of Raleigh. That kind of place where you'll see a bunch of auto shops that look abandoned but haven't been closed in the past 5 years and there's at least one customer from time to time.

Of course, this is a lot of generalizing but you'll find that it's still mostly accurate. The main exception in this is Capital Blvd, a highway cutting across north and south Raleigh on the eastern half of the city; a high crime corridor that's undergoing some changes in the northern half that have (somewhat) reduced crime but most people will still associate that area with the majority of Raleigh's crime and debauchery.

More importantly, is the distinction Raleigh citizens put on inside the beltline versus outside the beltline. The I-440 and 540 highways that wrap around Downtown form the mythical beltline, and to a degree what you have access to. Inside the beltline is the majority of workplaces, stores, and shopping centers; while outside you'll still have these things just to a more... dispersed extent.

North Raleigh actually kinda exemplifies this perfectly. Living inside the beltline, you have access to places like North Hills, Crabtree Valley mall, and Triangle Town Center. Live outside the beltline, like I currently am, and you're looking at 10 to 15 minutes to the nearest sheetz for that late night double hot dog fix.

So for point one: How important is it that you're near things? The majority of apartments and rental properties are in or around the belt-line, but if you want to save some cash on rent checks the cheaper properties are gonna extend your trips a bit.

Next, what can you expect in terms of neighbors? Does Raleigh have a hip party scene full of teens renting cheap apartments and blasting trap music at 3AM?

Depends on where you live

I swear not every point is going to be this, but there's an important distinction this time that affects the type of people your complex will likely have surrounding you; are you in North or South Raleigh?

North Raleigh has a ton of pre-schools, k-12 public schools (Leesville, Hillburn, Lead Mine, just to name a few), and office complexes that make up the job market. As a result the majority of apartment renters in north Raleigh tend to be families with a few small kids or so.

As a result, living off of Glenwood North and Edwards Mill I never had any noise problems from neighbors, the worst being kids playing outside at 3PM sounding like they were being murdered (which apparently is a common thing and I apologize to any neighbors I frightened with ghastly shrieks).

What I did have a problem with, however, was the typical Karen's you hear people complain about online. Renting a property now, we have access to our neighborhood's NextDoor page and it's hilarious sometimes to go on and read the comments, but living at a certain property we had a sort of mini-Facebook for residents

That thing was always full of either people who were moving out looking to sell their furniture or people passive-aggressively challenging each other/the apartment managers with comments about things happening around the complex.

Once I logged in to see one man accuse another, without ever actually accusing someone specific ("I know who did it and they should be ashamed" type post) of putting glass beer bottles under the tires of his truck to try and puncture them. Everyone acts civil in public, but then online they'll stir the pot harder than a chef with a hand mixer.

South Raleigh, you have the schools like Shaw University, Meredith, and NCSU; so the people renting down there are typically college kids. You'll see more apartments that cater towards them like University Village or University Woods, but sometimes these places will cater to both college kids and working adults

Avoid these places like the plague, because despite sometimes having a lower cost to live there the neighbors and their shenanigans will drive you up the wall (unless you're the type to join in, then go wild).

I've had friends stay at places like University Village and The Proper (formerly The Vie, formerly Wolf Creek) who've shared horror stories. 3AM parties ending in property damage or vomit in inconvenient places, drug deals not even trying to be subtle, and maintenance workers doing nothing because regardless of the apartment conditions; no school's gonna pull their contract with them unless news articles start getting written.

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_898ddf34-82f5-11e7-b3d8-07059d248619.html

https://www.wral.com/vie-at-raleigh-residents-finally-able-to-move-into-clean-units/16887833/

http://www.technicianonline.com/news/article_ea8ed7aa-a092-11e8-a2af-e70af36566d0.html

Otherwise, south Raleigh apartments are largely like north Raleigh apartments; except the crime rate tends to be a little higher and you'll run into more singles and people working full time.

Otherwise, Raleigh apartment culture is like apartment culture anywhere else in the country. You have a mix of apartments catering to those just looking to live versus more ostentatious luxury apartments with fancy pools, exercise facilities, and tech packages to draw people in.

If you're renting in Raleigh, however, do try to get a roommate or two if you can manage. Even with a decent job paying 800+ on a one bedroom one bath apartment can be exhausting at best, but with even one other person that can functionally halve your expenses

So if you're a young professional, or a student, or even if you have a small family, I can safely recommend renting in Raleigh. There's plenty of places that'll accommodate you, and cater towards your needs.

But what about everyone else? Are there people who shouldn't rent in Raleigh?

No

But there are groups who I'd seriously ask to consider their other choices before picking Raleigh as a destination for their new home.

For instance, are you a member of the LGBT community? A trans or non-binary individual? Well then, first off, I want you to know that you're loved and valid. I'm accepting of who you are and appreciate everyone's right to identify how they choose, but I'm not everyone.

Raleigh's bluer than other parts of North Carolina, as I've stated in other blog write-ups, but it's still part of North Carolina unfortunately and as a result, you'll face some challenges.

I doubt anyone's gonna burn a cross in your yard or knock over your mailbox, but Raleigh doesn't offer LGBT protections for housing, jobs, or credit/lending discriminations according to the Movement Advancement Project's website.

We have support organizations for LGBT and NB individuals, plenty of high schools and colleges have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs, and there are numerous businesses downtown that cater specifically to those individuals... but we're also the state that got into a lot of hot water because of a stupid bathroom bill, and our politicians are trying to pass anti-trans sports legislation (because they now magically care about the integrity of womens sports).

By that measure, but to a lesser extent, if you fall outside the Liberal/Conservative political spectrum then be prepared to have no one to discuss your politics with outside of a few sparse networks like the DSA.

Additionally, if you don't have someone to room with or a significant other to split costs with; you may want to try searching somewhere a little cheaper.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, Raleigh housing prices aren't terrible for a major metropolitan city, but we're not the best prices in the world.

You can get prices on apartments and rentals lower than say, California or New York. However, compared to other parts of NC like Greensboro or Garner; rentals are still a bit much.

On average, a Raleigh apartment can run you about $900 for a single bedroom and a single bathroom. You can find cheaper, but often times there's some risk associated (Crime levels, quality of the room, quality of the property manager, etc.) Looking for a two bedroom? Then your average price is gonna jump up to around $1,200, and this is all before utilities and cable come into play.

It's true a lot of companies around here will pay more than the $7.25 minimum wage, but most low-skilled jobs will pay around 10-11 an hour.

I guess though, that's kind of an obvious statement. "Don't live in Raleigh if you can't afford to live in Raleigh."

I might expand on these thoughts at a later time, but hopefully for now I've given you some food for thought; or at the very least an entertaining read for a few minutes.

I love my city, and I love the friends I've made in it, but the sad truth is that nowhere is perfect for everyone; leastways Raleigh. If Raleigh sounds like the kind of place you'd like to live in, at least take a day trip to come visit and see how things go that way. Visit some stores, meet some locals, and form an opinion off of more than travel blogs and youtube videos.

#raleigh #North Carolina #NC #north carolina #travel #photography #urban photography #city life #city #city of raleigh #advice

[coping-via-clint-eastwood]

GSR and Social Distancing

(A/N:  Fics inspired by- by that XD XD XD I wrote all three.  So a line between each segment indicates that you're gonna read a different story.  They're all short and light, meant for comic relief. Tw Covid and almost-World War 3. And, idk if anyone needs a warning for this, but Gil eats his chocolate grasshoppers.  And he offers them to Nick, who accepts.

Thank you so much @addictedtostorytelling , especially for the last one 😂😂😂)

The people in the crime laboratory, like any other people in public environments, had to follow the rule of standing six feet apart from each other.

This however did not stop Gil and Sara from standing ridiculously close to each other.  They had always done it, and they were going to continue doing it.

Much to the chagrin of a frustrated undersheriff trying to keep the lab running.  There was once when he was in Gil's office, getting updates on a case.  He was sitting on the couch, while the scientists were standing in front of Gil's desk, their arms pressed together so much that they were almost clutching each other's.  He had been holding himself back from calling them out, but at one point his speech broke its flow, "And that's what- look.  You know the rules," he motioned at them, "If you're not six feet apart, I'm gonna ban you from being in the lab."

They reluctantly shuffled their feet to move sideways, away from each other.

—————

The world went from being on the brink of World War 3 to battling with the Coronavirus. Most people did their part to curb the spread of the virus.

This majority of people included Gil and Sara, who were used to standing unthinkably close to each other; they stood six feet apart like they were supposed to.

While this change in their behaviour was for the benefit of those around them, it was quite a dramatic change.  None of them were used to this distance between them.

There soon came a time when Gil assigned Sara and Nick to the same crime scene. It was a small flat unit. Which made it very easy for Nick to confront Sara. "Sara?" he called out from the bedroom, trying to make sure he heard her above the nervousness in his voice.

"Yeah?" Her voice came from the bathroom.

He walked stiffly towards her.  "I wanted to ask you something," he mumbled, fidgeting with his camera in his hands.

Sara raised an eyebrow and looked down at the device.  "You wanna put that down before you drop it?"

"Um-" he glanced down at his own hands, "yeah, yeah."  He took the strap off his shoulder, then carefully lay the camera across Sara's kit. He straightened up again and tried to maintain wye contact with her. "I...I was wondering about what happened between you and Grissom." His voice was barely audible.

"What happened between Grissom and I?" Sara repeated in a much more confident and genuinely confused tone, frowning in confusion as well.

"We've all noticed..." he stopped to glanced down at the floor and back up before saying, "we've all noticed that the two of you weren't as close as you usually are- n-not to make a pun of it!"  At the last part, he shot a hand out towards her.

"...what?..."

Nick's face fell even further.  "Never mind."  He turned and scurried out of there.

Sara quickly picked up his camera and called out, "Nick!"

He whipped around to face her.  "Oh!  Oh.  Yeah, thanks."  He hurried to take his camera and ran away again.  Sara was left staring in confusion at his back.  She shook her head and blinked herself out of it.  She pushed whatever questions she had to the back of her mind so that she could get on with her job.

Nick did the same; he was a good CSI.  But, being a good investigator meant that he still wanted to find out.  So it was that when he was done for the day, he prepared to speak to Grissom.  He did not know why he was doing this; if he was not able to communicate with Sara, there was no reason to think that he would successful with Grissom of all people.  It did not make sense.  Anyhow, it was too late to turn back.  Because he was standing in the doorway to the locker room, staring at the lab supervisor.  "What is it, Nick?"  he asked, looking up from where he was on the bench, eating from his jar of chocolate grasshoppers. He kept the grasshoppers in his locker and the cockroaches in his office.  When Nick still did not respond, Gil held the jar out to him.  "Want some?"

True to his title, Bug Man Jr robotically stepped forwards and picked one.  He pulled his mask down and slowly chewed on it to steady his thoughts. The working of his jaw seemed to calm him down, enough for him to pull his mask up and get out, "I wanted to ask you about Sara." Funnily enough, he was using the same speech pattern, with the same soft voice.

"What about her?"  Gil asked casually, still snacking on grasshoppers.

"It's just that...I've, well we have noticed.  That you and Sara don't stand as close to each other as you normally would."  He was indeed more articulate now than he had been with Sara.

Grissom's answer was simple. "We're going through a global pandemic, Nick. We shouldn't stand so close."

Gil's bluntness stunned Nick.  He blinked in surprise a few times.  "Right, right..."  He turned and left.

Both Gil and Sara were left to have Nick's awkward queries buzzing around in their heads.

—————

Gil and Sara had finally made it home after working on a complicated case, and an even more confusing session of questioning from Nick. Or at least, Sara was. It was of no importance to Gil.  He did not think about it until they were cuddling in bed.

Gil was on his back, and Sara was on her side, with a hand and her head on his chest.  Gil was holding that hand.  "I think pandemic stress is getting to Nick.  You should probably talk to him.  He's been acting really word lately," Sara said, and smiled when she saw Gil do his cute eyebrow furrow.

"Yeah, now that you mention it-"

#c-v-c-e fic #gsr #csi #gil grissom #sara sidle #william petersen #jorja fox

[gamegrumpiess]

Sleepwalk

I was listening to Sleepwalk by Renee Olstead, and I had this idea.

Grump: Danny (from now on, most will be Danny. Unless you request someone else, which I will be happy to do!)

Btw! I'm this plot, Renee didn't write the lyrics. You did! She isn't even a singer in this universe. Just a heads up.

-

Y/n's POV

I can't sleep tonight. It's been a month since me and Danny broke up, but I can't help but still mourn our relationship. It was mutual, at least that's what he thinks. I would've never called it off. I was so in love with him. I still am. We told the fans, and they were pretty supportive in what we did. A lot of them were really sad, as was I. Danny is a singer just like me. I do silly songs just like him. But he encouraged me to do a cover album or a cover song. I did one album, Cover Me Up was the name. It got a lot of love, which I am very proud of.

I turn on my phone to check the time. 4:23 am. The bold numbers shine at me in front of Danny's face. I couldn't bring it to myself to change my screensaver. It's not like anyone's gonna see. I miss him a lot, every night gets harder than the last. He was my world. I've known him since senior year of high school, he was a huge part of my life. And now... That's no more. He's probably living his best life. Being Danny Sexbang and all. He probably has girls flying at his feet, throwing him their panties and offering 'the night of his life'. I understand I might be over thinking, but I can't help it. He was mine, and now he's out there doing who knows what. I let a few stray tears fall down ontou pillow. It's so lonely here at night now. I love what I do, singing, dancing, having fun. It was just so much more amazing when I had someone to share it with.

I lay my head back a stare at the ceiling. I need to distract myself, so I reach for my headphones and plug them in, looking for my Oldies playlist. I click on it and the song that comes on is Sleepwalk by Santo and Johnny. Listening to the slow beat and light guitar, I cry even more. Just my luck, huh? I can't just lay here, I really should get up and something. Writing usually helps me calm down. That's when I get an idea for a song, it's a bit sad and people will know exactly who its about. But maybe that's what needs to happen. My feelings should be out there. And if something goes wrong, I'll accept the outcomes.

I pull up my pen and notebook and just start writing.

"Sleepwalk, instead of dreamin' I

Sleepwalk.

Cause' I lost you and now, what am I to do?

Can't believe that we're through.

Sleep talk. Cause' I miss you, I sleep talk.

While the memories of you wither like a soul.

Darling I was so low.

The night fills me with blame. I see your face, tears through my brain.

I know I miss you so. I still love you, drives me insane.

Sleepwalk. Every night I just sleepwalk. Please come back, and when you walk inside the door, I will sleepwalk no more."

I immediately went to my computer set up and staring out my own little version of Sleepwalk. More of like a piano and violin cover, rather than guitar and drum. Once I had it to where I wanted the beat and rhythm, I pulled up my microphone and started singing away.

Danny's POV

This morning was the worst. I couldn't sleep at all, I've been up since 3:30 am. I guess I haven't really gotten used to sleeping by myself. Without y/n's body near mine, it's hard to even get tired. I do miss her. A lot actually. I know it was my idea to call off the relationship, but I was scared of what would happen if I didn't have enough time for her. I have game grumps, starbomb, and ninja sex party. She deserves someone who has all the time in the world to give her all the attention she deserves. When we told the fans, I didn't expect them to be so sad. I even lost a handful of fans because of it. She agreed, but I knew her better. She was on the verge of tears when she left. She was trying to be strong so I wouldn't see that side of her, but I know better than that. When she left I broke down. Gripped and clawed at my hair, cried on the edge of the bed, wondering if I had made the right choice. I big-huge part of me was telling myself I didn't.

My phone buzzes, and I see its a text from Arin.

When you get here I need to show you something.

Oh what fresh hell does he have to subject my eyes to. Last time he said that, I had to watch 12 Days Of Elves... Don't ask.

I finally arrived at the Grump Space. I see everyone in their usual area. Ryan and Matt at the computers, Ross and Barry in the kitchen making coffee, and the only other people here this early is Arin and me. Everyone else usually is a little late. "Thank god you're finally here. You haven't felt your phone buzzing?" I give him a confused look. "Other than you texting me, no. You know I have notifications turned off for my social media. What's going on?" He turns on the computer in front of us. "You should hear this before anything. I promise you, it's important." I roll my eyes. "This better not be some stupid shit, Arin!" I say with a light laugh. He shook his head, and I knew from the look in his eyes that this was in fact important.

Once the computer was fully on, he went to YouTube. Looking up y/n's name, I felt my stomach turn. Did she have a new boyfriend? Was she sick? Did she die?! I understand that last one is a bit of a long shot, but I tend to over think a lot.

A video was uploaded at 7:00 am this morning? "' sleepwalk? ' isn't that an old song?" I say confused. But I'm not all that surprised. She always did love the oldies. He nods his head. "She added her own lyrics and tune to it. And I think you should hear it." I nodded and put on some earphones, pushing play on the video. Her voices comes on, and it feels so amazing to hear her voice again. Even if it is just an intro in a YouTube video.

"Hello everyone. I had this idea for a song at like 3 in the morning. I couldn't sleep, so I made this. I hope you like it..."

The video fades to black and then it shows her at her little office space she has in her room. The music starts up, and at this point I notice her eyes. They're a little red and slightly puffy. She did a good job covering it up, but I've known her since senior year. She can't hide that from me.

She sings softly yet with so much passion and emotion. The lyrics sink in, and I know why Arin wanted to hear this. Its about me. I scroll down to look at the description and comments, and they all say things along the lines of 'I fucken sad now.' 'Wow, Danny really did a number on her' 'DANNY YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!' 'This makes me so sad because she literally couldn't sleep thinking about him... Danny get your girl back!' 'Damn that made me tear up... '

After the video ended, I look at my phone. Y/n's face still smiles at me from behind the screen. I didn't want to change it, I couldn't do it. I felt several tears hit my leg, I didn't even realize i was crying. "Hey Dan, are you okay?" Arin puts his hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "No... I'm not at all." I open up Twitter and see thousands of notifications to nsp and game grumps. All of which telling me to see what I just saw. I stood up slowly, feeling a little disappointed in myself. How could I let her walk out of my life so easily...?

Y/n's POV

After I posted the video, I decided I should really try to get some sleep. Especially since thousands of people will blow up my phone later on. Once in bed again, I tried to think of all the possibilities and outcomes of this. It could either go really well, or go really horribly bad. I guess we'll just have to see.

I wake up several hours later to my phone ringing. The sky is still a little bright to I assume it's not that late. 'Suzy <3' shines up at me. I smile, me and her always stayed quite close. "Hello?" I try to run the sleep out of my eyes. "Hey, are feeling okay? I heard your song, and I know it's about Dan. How are you, hun?"

It means a lot that she's not just calling about GET HIM BACK! She just wants to know if I'm okay. "Honestly? I feel so empty. Luckily today is just a lazy day so I don't have to adult today. But still.... I feel lost." I hear her sigh, "I know, y/n. It sucks. But you have me! And I'm way better than Danny!" She says jokingly. "Damn right you are! I'll call you a bit later when I'm more awake, okay?" We say our goodbyes and I sit up more in bed. I take a quick look at my notification bar and just as I expected, its blowin up. 'When will I stop being a pussy?' My thoughts we're interrupted by several rings of my doorbell.

Without looking through the peephole I open the door, only to see a certain curly haired man standing on my doorstep. "Danny? What are you doing here?" His eyes are glazed over and puffy as if he had just finished crying. He looked down. "I.... I heard your song. Was it... Was it about me? I'm sorry, I just need to know. I couldn't focus at all today during work. And on my way home, I just couldn't take it anymore. I have to know." My anxiety goes up a long shot. My eyes looking at everyone but him. "Y/n... I need to know." I slowly nod my head, still avoiding his eyes. "May I come in? I think we should talk.." I scoot to the side to let him in. "I'm sorry if I caused a lot of drama. I just thought... It would be better if I just made it into a song rather than.. Just telling you." I confessed. He grabbed my shoulders. "Don't be sorry, y/n. When we broke up, and you left. I broke down. I couldn't handle the fact that I just let you go.. I'm sorry."

"Then why did you do it? Why wait so fucking long to come to my house?! Why hurt me this bad, leaving me all alone when all I wanted was you! I hated knowing that YOU let me just walk out. And you looked like you... Like you didn't even give a shit..." I couldn't help it. I let all my emotions explode on him. "Why do you think I did?! Y/n, you deserve someone who has the time for you, who will give you all the attention in the world. Someone who will GIVE you the world! I want nothing more than to have you back again, but you don't deserve someone like me! I love with all my soul, hell, I'd give up everything for your dumbass! I didn't say anything till now because I thought you'd be mad, and I thought you'd moved on, hated me even!" He was standing pretty close to me by now. "Well no shit I'd be mad! You think I don't deserve you? Bullshit! You've already given me the world and more! Don't think that I don't understand about your job because I do the same fucking thing!!! I know it's hard, but I was willing to work even harder because I love you more than life itself! I deserve you just like you deserve me!" He rolled his eyes. "You're fucking gorgeous! You can have any man you want! What the hell is so special about me?" I got in his face once again, "because you are so much better than any other man I've met! We've known each other for YEARS and you think I'd just give all that up?! What kinda drugs are you on, Dan? Do you think I'm that fucken dumb? I haven't slept in weeks because it feels so horrible not having you next to me. That's some bullshit to say that I can have any man I want. I want YOU, dipshit!" I couldn't help it, I fell to my knees, shaking from trying to hold back tears. How he say that I didn't deserve him? He was my world, he still is my world. Nothing will change that.

He walks to me, and sits on the floor with me. I feel his arms wrap around me, and I lean into his chest. "I'm sorry.. I loved you more than anything. I still do. Can you please give me another chance..? Now, I won't ever think you don't deserve me. I won't think anything like that. You mean the world to me, y/n. Please don't forget that." I look up at him, seeing his eyes filled with new tears. "Well duh, how can i say no to this face?" I grab his cheeks and smush them together and laugh. "I love you too, Danny." He smiled and leaned in and gave me a much needed kiss.

#danny sexbang #game grumps #dan avidan x reader #dan x reader #dan avidan

[shiny-time]

As a "formal" start here, I'll post about my Hera OC Reese! He's got quite a long backstory, so bear with me!

Name: Reese Puffalato (Pun of the Cereal Brand “Reese’s Puffs”, Cereal Names were the thing on the planet he was raised on.)

Age: 87 (Born sometime in Age 767)

Universe: 7 (Alternate Timeline)

Race: Hera/Cokhan Hybrid

Voice Actor: TFS Jeice Couldn’t find voice actor’s name (English) Tomokazu Sugita (Young Joseph voice/Japanese)

Orientation: Unknown

Alignment: Lawful Good

Story: After Cell’s Kamikaze Explosion wiped out Goku, King Kai, and the entire planet they were on, the energy keeping Bojack and his crew sealed away dissipated. They were finally able to wreak havoc and continue their conquest after all these years! To celebrate the occasion, the Bojack Crew started a conquest to take over all of North Galaxy. They took over planet after planet, including a planet named Flingor. When Bojack was on this planet, he would encounter the Whollies, Uwocs, and Cokhans. Bojack would actively seek out Whollies and their colonies just so he could force them out of their underground colonies and punt them around like footballs. He wanted to do the same with the Uwocs, but no matter how many times he and his crew tried to gang up on them, they would always outspeed and outmaneuver them over and over. But to them, the most important race was the Cokhans. Somehow they had developed technology on this arguably primitive planet and were fierce fighters all on their own. They made it especially clear that they did not want the Bojack Crew on their planet, and they sent armies after armies of Cokhans to battle them. The Bojack Crew easily won thanks to Bujin’s magic and the sheer difference in power alone. With the Cokhans humiliated and most of their resources spent, they called it a victory and left the planet in disarray.

That would be the last notable thing heard about the Cokhans, except for one thing. While Bojack was on Flingor, he maybe-probably-definitely had an… incident with a Cokhan woman named Cheria (Play on words for “Cheerios”). Months after Bojack’s Crew had left Flingor, she gave birth to a child (Who she named Reese) and took up the task of raising him as a single mother. She kept the origins of his father a secret since he had cause their planet so much harm and turmoil. Thanks to his Hera genes, Reese looked more like a Hera than a Cokhan, and his peers would mock him just for this. Despite the constant torment, he never snapped back. One day, he questioned Cheria why he looked so different from everybody else and why he was bullied because of it. He was 11 at the time, and had somehow already gotten a simple grasp on the concept of death, so she decided it was time he finally knew about his beginnings. She told him about the Space Pirate Bojack and how he was not only his father, but the same person who had fought and killed millions of Cokhan soldiers and threw the entire planet into its own “depression” that the Cokhans were still trying to recover from. Cheria most likely regrets starting off with telling Reese his father was a space pirate.

Reese had never heard of a “Space Pirate” before, and the words clouded his mind as Cheria explained everything about the Bojack Crew, Heras, and why this made him a target. Reese pretended to listen and absorb everything, but all he could think about was becoming a Space Pirate and going on all sorts of adventures away from his boring home and the people that despised him. For the next 7 years, Reese would study and learn almost everything there is to know about space travel and his surrounding galaxy in secret. If he was discovered by anyone, it could potentially ruin his plans to escape. He also devised an efficient plan to sneak into the Cokhan’s military base where they kept their ships and steal their best ship, the Mars Armor. He figured out that the Cokhans hadn’t done space travel ever since Bojack’s Crew attacked their planet, since they were too focused on rebuilding Flingor. When he was 18, he gathered all his money and important belongings (22780 Zeni, many Guides to piloting a ship and navigating the galaxy, and the other essentials), barely managed to execute his plan, and escaped Flingor on the Mars Armor.

Even though Reese had escaped his home planet, he wasn’t in the clear just yet. To avoid being detected by the Galactic Patrol, he had to strictly follow Space Traffic Laws (You read that right) as any Spaceship Pilot would. However, one Galactic Patrol Elite was catching onto what was really going on. The officer, named Jaco, began following the Royal Ship afar from the safety of his own Patrol Pod. He noticed that not only was the Ship a decommissioned Cokhan Royal Ship, but that it was reportedly being Piloted by a Hera Space Pirate. He decided that he would finally confront the ship after it made it’s next unordinary supply run. That day came when Reese landed the ship on a jungle planet to gather food. Imagine his surprise when he returned to his ship only to find Jaco of all people waiting for him! Jaco was less than amused to see him, and arrested him pretty easily. When he was brought to the Galactic Patrol for further questioning, Reese explained to them that he wanted no trouble and that he didn’t know why being a Space Pirate was a bad thing. After lots of discussion and recounts from planets that reported him, the Galactic Patrol determined that Reese was honest and was actually helping the planets he visited instead of harming them. He just didn’t know that it wasn’t a good idea to go around telling everyone that he was a Space Pirate (Thanks to the bad name Bojack gave them).

After the misunderstanding, the Galactic Patrol offered him a type of part-time job and combat training. Reese happily accepted this, and over the course of 10 years, he gained quite the notoriety for being a hero. He also became fast friends with his very idol, Jaco, who would soon become known as “The Dynamic Buddy-Cop Duo”. The Galactic Patrol were also kind enough to make modifications to his ship that would allow him to fly and fight with it to its fullest potential. Life seemed perfect for the Hera until he received an urgent distress signal from a group of scientists… A group of Frieza Force scientists, no less. A woman they were running experiments on broke out of her confinement and was hellbent on destroying not just them and their facility, but their entire race. Her name was Callisto, and she didn’t take very kindly to Reese getting in her way. He fought the fight of his life against her, and by doing so, bought the Scientists enough time to escape the planet. After one final push against the woman with a new power achieved through the sheer will and desperation to survive… He succumbed to her harsh onslaught of attacks and died. The Galactic Patrol had lost an irreplaceable member that day, and Jaco was devastated. He swore to find a way to bring Reese back, so he began his secret mission to gather the Dragon Balls.

After his death, Reese found himself in on Snake Way. Following others across the Galaxy that had died and ended up on Snake Way as well, he would learn about, and eventually meet King Yemma and King Kai. Yemma judged Reese’s heart as good, but upon Reese’s request to train with King Kai, he directed the Hera to Otherworld to train under him as opposed to just going to heaven (Since in this Timeline, King Kai and Goku were still dead.) He was able to train intensely under the watchful eye of King Kai for years, and after 10 years of grueling training and learning his body’s limits, not only did Reese learn how to fly, but he was able to achieve Kaioken x50. Reese would’ve also learned more about the “Full Power” ability Heras have, but Jaco had finally gathered Namek’s Dragon Balls by then to wish Reese back to life.

While he was gone, the Galactic Patrol had taken Reese’s Ship and upgraded it with one of their first new Combat Programs. This program would allow Galactic Patrol Ships to morph in to large humanoid Mecha Suits that would follow their pilot’s moves. This way, Galactic Patrol Members were more equipped to deal with larger threats. Reese would continue to work alongside the Galactic Patrol and help everyone across the Galaxy in his new and improved ship. One day, he was taking it out for a Galaxy-Wide spin when he happened to intercept a Time Patroller in a heated battle with a fellow Time Patroller under the influence of Demonic and Villainous Energy. After subduing the out of control Patroller, the 2nd Patroller deemed Reese trustworthy to be introduced to Conton City and the Time Patrol. While Reese already had his hands full with working alongside the Galactic Patrol, he promised that he’d visit and help the Time Patrollers every now and then. During some of those visits, he was able to train with some of the Hera Time Patrollers and was finally able to get a grasp on the Full Power Hera Form. Despite his rough beginnings, Reese continues to be an inspiration to aspiring Galactic Patrollers and Space Pirates to this day.

I'm gonna post about the Cokhans sometime later. They're a fanmade race of mine!

[shitfics]

ontae "my friend needs to see I'm dating someone so they'll stop including me in blind dates-yes, I know we're not dating, but still". I miss you and your writing and I was worried about you, I really hope you're okay

Thank you bb

I hope you're alright too

(Also sorry this ends a bit abruptly...I feel a bit odd posting smut after so long. ^^;)

---

Jinki’s mood drops the instant he reads the text lighting up his screen. Yet again, his friend had turned what should’ve been a fun and relaxing night of drinking into a matchmaking ordeal. With a long sigh, he stands and begins the short walk across the building to Taemin’s desk.

He hadn’t wanted to resort to this, but he doesn't have a better idea. Kibum still doesn’t believe that he’s really fine with being single.

When he reaches Taemin’s desk, the screen flickers as he quickly switches out of whatever he’d been looking at. Jinki ignores it and leans over the small partition behind his monitor.

“Would you want to go out for drinks after work, since it’s a Friday?”

“Nah.” Taemin shakes his head. “That new game came out, remember?”

“Could you put it off till tomorrow?” Jinki asks, feeling desperate. "My friend needs to see I'm dating someone so they'll stop including me in blind dates--” When Taemin opens his mouth to interrupt, he holds up a hand to stop him. “Yes, I know we're not dating, but still. I’m desperate to get him off my back."

Resting his chin in his hands, he looks up at Jinki with a raised brow. “I don’t see how me being there will help. Or why you even agree to go on these blind dates in the first place...”

“I don’t! Kibum just springs single guys on me once we’ve already agreed to hang out.” Jinki holds out his phone to show Taemin the offending text. “We made plans yesterday to grab drinks, and only now he tells me he’s inviting some random guy he thinks I’d ‘get along with.’”

Taemin smiles sympathetically. “He’s just trying to help you get over your ex, I’m sure.”

“I am over him.” Jinki tucks his phone into his pocket with a scowl. “But I don’t want to throw myself back out there yet. I want to meet someone organically for a change.”

“Well, good luck with that,” Taemin scoffs. “It’s nearly impossible to meet someone that’s gay and your type without looking.”

“Maybe, yeah. But I don’t care right now. I just want to go out for drinks with my friend...” He grips the top of Taemin’s monitor and sighs, putting on his best pitiful look. “So please come with? I’ll buy you as many appetizers as you want. I know they have those fried pickles you like.”

Taemin stares up at him, as if assessing the authenticity of the offer, before finally nodding. “Fine, I’ll come. Just don’t expect me to put much effort into it.”

“I think just having you there should be deterrent. He’ll assume enough from that.”

Jinki smiles and gives him a quick thanks, then returns to his desk. The rest of the day passes quickly, and when the office closes, Taemin walks with him for the short trip down to the nearby bar. The place is just filling in for the Friday night, and Kibum -- and the poor single soul he’d invited long with him -- are easy to find near the counter.

Kibum smiles when he spots Jinki. “I figured you’d show up soon. Looking forward to the weekend?”

“Obviously.”

Jinki grins back at him, but his smile falls when Kibum pulls the stranger he’d brought by the arm and tugs him closer.

“This is Minho. I met him through a work dinner a while back, so I thought I’d invite him out with us.”

Kibum watches, obviously eager, as Jinki extends his hand to shake Minho’s.

“Nice to meet you,” Minho says.

Jinki smiles back at him. “You too.”

Minho’s handshake is firm, and he’s good-looking and tall, but he seems a few years younger -- not at all Jinki’s type.

The moment his hand is pulled back, Taemin steps forward himself. “Hi, Minho. I’m Taemin.”

Kibum frowns at the interruption to his match-making. “I don’t think we’ve met before. Did Jinki bring you?”

“Yeah,” Jinki says, placing a casual hand on Taemin’s shoulder. “We work together, so I figured I’d invite him along.”

“Oh.” Kibum’s brows rise with interest. “You never mentioned him before.”

Jinki shrugs. “You find my job boring, so I don’t talk about it much.”

“True,” Kibum agrees. He glances to Minho, whose attention has already shifted to one of the soccer games playing on the televisions behind the bar, and frowns. “Have you known Jinki long?”

“About a year now, I think,” Taemin says. He leans a bit against Jinki as he reaches for one of the small drink menus. “But he just started hanging out more outside of work, so we don’t know each other that well yet.”

Kibum’s lip purses his lips, but misses the chance to respond when the bartender approaches them behind the counter and asks them for their orders. Taemin orders a beer without hesitation, and hands the menu to Jinki, who hesitates.

“I’m not sure what I want yet. I kind of want a margarita, but you know I’m picky about the flavor...”

“That’s what I got. Do you want to try it?” Minho offers. He grabs a second straw from the counter and places it in his drink, then slides it towards Jinki.

For a second, Jinki hesitates. Depending on how into the idea of being set up Minho is, accepting this drink might seem like he’s interested -- but he still ends up leaning forward and taking a sip. Taemin can help him avoid that if he needs it, and he’d rather find out if the overpriced drink would be worth the money before spending it.

Moving Taemin aside, he leans down for a sip. The sour burns his tongue, and he quickly pulls away, face scrunched.

“More sour than I thought it would be,” he says, pained. Minho laughs lightly and pats his back.

“Sorry, I should have warned you. They’re known for having extra sour drinks -- would you want me to buy you something else?

“Um--”

Just as Minho’s hand leaves Jinki’s back, Taemin’s hand wraps around his waist. He pulls Jinki close, fingers digging in when their hips bump into each other side-by-side, and smiles at Minho, all teeth.

“I’ll be paying for Jinki tonight. Just tell them to add his drink to my tab.”

Goosebumps raise on the back of Jinki’s neck. Taemin’s eyes seem darker, when he looks at him from this angle in the dim light -- almost possessive -- and being pulled against him makes him seem taller, even though he knows they’re nearly the same height.

A shiver runs up his spine when the grip moves to his hip. Minho says something else to Taemin about their drinks that he’s too dazzled process, then turns away to Kibum, leaving Taemin with a smirk.

He brings his lips close to Jinki’s ear. “I bet he’ll think you’re ‘taken’ now, yeah?”

“Um,” Jinki struggles to find his voice. “Yeah, I guess.”

Taemin eyes him suspiciously. “You don’t sound happy about it. Did you change your mind now that you’ve met him?”

“It’s not that.” Jinki shakes his head. “I just didn’t expect you to get into this enough to act all grabby.”

“Should I not?”

“No, no -- it’s definitely fine.”

His answer comes too fast, making Taemin grin again. “Oh. You like it, huh?”

The stare Taemin fixes him with makes it impossible to lie -- so Jinki finds himself nodding, despite the fact that it makes his face heat.

Taemin’s grip on him tightens. “I never imagined you as the type that likes to be lead around.”

“Well -- I didn’t exactly take you for the assertive type, either.”

Taemin turns away from him to pick up his beer. “There’s a lot we don’t talk about in a work environment.”

When he looks back to Jinki, his gaze is intense -- enough to make Jinki feel undressed in the middle of the bar -- and a second set of goosebumps ripples over his skin. He orders the first strong drink he sees on the menu and slams it back the moment he has it in his hands. He’s not sure if he’s drinking to get over his embarrassment at being read so easily, or to get over his usual self-imposed boundary of never sleeping with coworkers, but it helps.

At some point in the evening, Taemin drapes a possessive arm over him that never leaves, and it takes all his willpower not to make a move right there. Only the pleasant hum in his nerves and the anticipation of letting Taemin decide when and what might happen next keeps him waiting until they exchange farewells with Minho and Kibum later in the evening.

As they watch them walk away from the entrance of the bar, Taemin’s tightens the hand over his shoulder.

“So -- my place, or yours?”

Jinki’s pulse races. “Mine’s closer, I think, but it’s up to you.”

“Closer is better.”

Jinki quickly leads them down the streets towards the high rise containing his apartment. He can't remember the last time he’s been this excited. Taemin is at his heel, leaving him untouched, but he has a feeling that’s only to make walking easier -- a feeling that’s confirmed the moment they slip into the elevator, and Taemin pushes him back against the cool metal wall.

Their first kiss is quick and forceful, just enough to leave Jinki panting when Taemin pulls back to run teeth along his pulseline. “Should I give you a mark on your neck to make sure your friend doesn't think you're free again?

“No, but -- shit, I want you to.” Jinki tugs on Taemin’s hair, directing him lower and pulling aside his collar, until his lips are somewhere that’ll never show in their buttoned-up dress shirts. “Just put it here.”

By the time the doors open, he has the start of a bruise just under his collarbone, and an erection that makes him rush out of the elevator and to his apartment door with Taemin's hand in his.

He fumbles as he pulls out his keys -- from excitement, not nerves -- and nearly drops them when he sees Taemin’s hands appear on the door at the corner of his vision, boxing him in until he finally has the door unlocked. Taemin is flush against his back when they stumble in together, and he doesn’t have a chance to even flick the light on before he’s pushed against the nearest wall. A firm palm curves against his ass once before squeezing tight.

“I fucking love that you get to wear jeans on Fridays.”

#ontae #drabble #prompt #this one got REALLY long like...nearly 2k lol #so sry again about how late it is!! #i have nothing against onho obvs but i just wanted to put him in here cause it was easy lol #Anonymous

[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

You have to watch the video in the end.

Look everyone's story is different. And I understand his.

But I want to explain something. Carpenters and Construction workers rule the world.

They're as important as a McDonald's Happy Meal.

I want to explain something else. Sometimes people don't dream of going to Harvard, they're forced to. Sometimes people at Harvard -- I got into Harvard and I got into Yale Law. I chose not to go to either. -- sometimes people at Harvard just want to work with their hands.

I got Into Harvard. And I got into Yale Law.

I went to the University of New Mexico after a dabble at Oklahoma State, TVI - now CNM.

After a long time.. High school, being accepted into Ivey League schools, marriage, divorce, a 7 year old, 6 colleges/universities, trying to decide on something other than a Speech Pathologist because i believe you can learn a child's dialect and they don't speak wrong but different -- I gave myself a stern taking to.

I wanted to be an Architect.

To be an Architect my most important people are Carpenters, Construction workers, electricians, plumbers. And more.

I would need carpenters for sure because I love Gothic, Roman, Greek, Colonial style homes/buildings.

Well I never made it as an Architect my local universities didn't offer it at a bachelor's level and I failed out via running out of money for Speech Pathology.

And it was fucking hard.

But I want to tell you something. Look at his post here you'll see him on scaffolding. In NYC there's scaffolding every where. One of my favorite things on a hot day was sit under there and listen to them work.

We did so much underground work, freeing slaves.

One day I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I sat under scaffolding and I leaned my back against the wall and I pulled my knees up to my face and began to very loudly cry. It was one of the loudest places in the city. I thought no one could hear me.

Then I felt someone touch me. And ask if I was Ok. I wondered how long I had been crying because it was silent and I thought all the workers went home.

So I wiped my face in my shirt and I nodded "mmm I'm ok. Sorry. It was just so loud I thought no one could hear"

"Well we all did"

And I looked up and half the construction crew was standing looking worried.

And it made me bust into tears again. And they asked if i had been beaten or raped or needed the police or any random thing.

And i said "no. I'm just a recent widow and my child died right after child birth and i return kidnapped victims and my job is just hard let me put it that way"

So he gave me a bottle of water and asked if i needed money and told me safe places to go where nice people worked that were nice to the homeless.

So one day the noise of the hammers... The rhythm... I just decided. Not going to work was better for me. I was just gonna do something nice for nice people ... May be for a day or two..

So i would go to Macy's and buy shirts and boots and extra personal supplies for the construction workers, the people they told me about that were kind to the homeless and giving.

After a week the CIA asked what i was doing and when i would return to work. I said they could do it and i didn't want to.

They told me i wasn't acting healthy. I needed yo be underground feeling desperate and worried that i couldn't get people home to their families when my family was killed in front of me.

I couldn't. "Well quit buying stuff"

"Fine I'll buy less"

"Quit going to Macy's. What's wrong with the Bodega?"

"Oh sure where i shopped with my dead husband? No people need quality and quality is what they deserve! They work and they can afford their own clothes but they don't because it's too expensive for rent!! They can't afford clothes that don't rip or get holes in them every two weeks!!" I was yelling but i was mad. I wasn't letting people suffer and i wasn't letting myself suffer. No one had the right to tell me i was wrong. "Lower their rent so they have more than a few hundred bucks!! Look at them# bologna sandwiches that was all! They had no money to even eat! What am i doing wrong?! Good quality! Leave me be!!"

We always had long talks about quality. Because sometimes we found good at Bargain Basement and sometimes we didn't. So i knew Blue would approve.

"Yeah well you'll get fired"

"You wanna fire me?! Go ahead! And then when i want to go back to work you're not going to stop me! You'll thank me! So shove it!"

"You're causing a scene"

"No you are!!"

"You sit here for hours under the scaffolding that could fall on you and kill yoh while playing solitare in cards by yourself! You're not even Tarot. You could be making money on the street helping us but you aren't"

"That lady is a bitch. That lady ain't. That lady is sweet as the devil and that man is married to a cunt!!!! There are you happy now? Leave me be?" I was already exhausted and all the construction workers were down waiting for an explanation and to protect me.

They weren't very happy to find out I worked for the CIA. I guess they felt betrayed. I said "i help victims that get trapped under ground"

And so they thought like They fell into a pit of mud or something and needed help. Which is understandable.

I couldn't explain how i could feel abandoning those girls was my right. How i needed to. How helping them was destroying me. It was not explainable.

I didn't want to be encouraged to go back. I didn't want to be told i was wrong because it hurt my heart. I So damaged.

And I didn't want to volcano in anger. Not at anyone that didn't deserve it.

So I explained then... "*if someone is kidnapped and stuck or put under ground for human trafficking then they can't get out -- not on their own. They need me or the CIA and the CIA can cover for me while I am recovering to a better emotional state"

And one said "but you'll be fired"

"Well i run the CIA so i doubt that and i do check in with them every day down the street at least twice. That is why i was later today there was an issue with ome of the clubs and i had to sort it out. I just can't see the girls and work Like i used to. Promise to take them home. Make sure they see their families when my own was murdered in front of my face. Its just not something i can do"

They asked me for $500 and went to Macy's and in my place where i always sat and did solitare was a white paper Macy's bag. And it said "for the CIA GIRL named Sabrina"

And inside was a leopard fur coat. Of which they had got $250 from the CIA guy attempting to chew out my ass. And luckily it had been marked down. $657.32.

"Don't worry it was half off. And we split the leftover remaining for food. I hope you don't mind" i heard behind me.

I was crying so much I had snot bubbles.

So carpenters... They're like Gods. I've always looked up yo construction workers since that day.

Janitors at the elementary schools i attended they were always my heroes. If i didn't clean. I got beat. I tried to clean the whole cafeteria. Until I was told not to. I didn't have to. And ever since then it's been hard to just let them do their jobs and not help them.

They have been my heroes for s very long time. And not because I'm a germaphobe. Because they took pride in their work

Because like this man in this post always felt inferior. Bullied and picked on even.

Sometimes i would watch a janitor pick up trash next to the can a kid wouldn't pick up because he missed. And I would start crying and mess my make up up. And every one would ask me what was wrong. And i would bust into tears again "because the janitor had to clean!!".

I'm not talking just elementary school. I'm talking Jr high. I'm talking high school. Im talking i would skip school and smoke pot, smoke behind the principal's office or art building kinda old. And i would bust into tears because a janitors bad luck.

Ridiculous old. I would beat up bigger than me boys in school. Even beat the principal once for whipping my little brother. They still did paddling if there was a permission slip. My brothers wasn't signed. Mine and Nathaniel's had been and both said no paddling. So they called it even and let it go.

But i still cried cause the janitor who took pride in his work was bossed around like a bitch by the principal and the principal happened to be white and the janitor black.

So i stopped that shit by shoving the principal in his office and standing in front of it until he promised not to talk to the janitor. Every time he did with disrespect there i went. He took off running down the hall. Scared. Oh that pissed me off. Coward ass.

I used to work st Mazzios in Okmulgee. They used to go in after 8pm on Friday. I always waited on him and his wife cause Jamie always wanted a break to do dishes then. And we needed to. It was a mess by then. Dishes would be sliding off the counter And shit.

He never tipped. I asked his wife once why. She said "ask him" while laughing.

"Well? She's directed me to ask you. Seems your wife is in command here"

"Well I would tip if I had a waitress that didn't give me a black eye!"

"Well served, keep your dollar"

"Well next time I'm gonna pay $3!!"

So I told Jamie, "I don't mind doing dishes and it will save your nails I don't do mine. This guy here is the Principal at Preston and said he will pay to tip any waitress but me 3 whole dollars"

"Do the dishes"

She went over "I'm sorry was there a problem with your server?"

"She gave me a black eye!!!" What a dunce.

"Well I'll make sure she works extra hard on the dishes while I'll be the waitress to only you unless someone comes in since she's dangerous and can't come from behind the counter"

He looked over the back of his red booth and grinned. I grinned back.

Then he looked troubled "don't forget the tip" I sang back in a nasty I'll punch you in the face again tone. And kicked and threw all the chairs into the tables if they weren't pushed in on my walk back.

She got $5.

Oh it was definitely a joke around the restaurant. Friday nights after 8 weren't boring anymore.

His wife loved it. She was so tired of his shit. She knew we worked every Friday night and he was so dumb we could work him over on anything m

... ...

So in NYC. Scaffolding takes over the city sidewalks. Sometimes we have to walk in the street to pass. Or cross the street then cross back.because concrete barriers.

So in NYC the scaffolding is the rulers of the sidewalk. Put there by workers like the man who feels inferior to Harvard students.

They are in command.

.....

I loved sitting under the scaffolding and hearing the hammers. The men above. Working for money. The men above free. Free in the sky. Free from the streets. As far as they could safely be from the underground.

They were like the bird Phoneix to me.

I couldn't see them but i could hear them. Banging and whistling to a song on the radio or in their head.

Up there they were free. Free to build and create. What they were doing would last for years. Decades.

What they were doing would be seen by all of New York City. Its visitors. Its home personnel. Its bodegas. The kidnapped. Every one.

The CIA was afraid i would be lonlier when they moved on. But i knew they were working. I could hear it. And one day the scaffolding I found safe Haven under would be missing.

And i would see the Grand Prize. Their work completed.

I could never finish a bunker they would always refill. I needed a Happy Ending. I needed Green Grass Roots on the side of the building the whole street they touched the lives of could see.

When they finished i took the girls. "You see that up there? The blue and green? That wasn't there before. My friends did that. I want you to know every thing you touch and every thing you see leaves a definition. Some may be wrong and some may be right. But my friends did that and saved me from my misery. And right now want to hug that building"

And we did.

So to this man in this post and all people that work and feel inferior...

Specifically to this man -- each and every student st Harvard looked at you the same way you looked st them "i can be something one day. I can be someone as important as him. I can help build a wall to stay up for years to come so students like me can keep coming to Harvard. If he can do it. And work in Harvard. I can at least graduate"

So never belittle yourself. You are important. You are worth more than money. You change the world every day.

You remember that. People we don't always say it.

But we think it. We find inspiration every where.

A girl screaming in the driveway. A dude feeling lost because all the world was shut down in a joke like but meaningful song video. My worries about people working too hard and not being home or happy.

Regular people others would think as trash. Or overlook as a fun silly video of the times.

P Diddy tripping as well as many others.

You all changed the world.

And you did it better than the President of the United States of America.

We The People.

Need our "lower class" financed people and our "lower classed: educated.

My cousin only finished 5th grade. You never could tell by looking at her. I never remember. I never think about it. Until she mentions it. And it SHOCKS me. It shocks the shit out of me. Because I didn't think about it and i couldn't tell. I look up to her and admire her.

So while I am PROUD this man made his dreams come true in secret -- why? -- because they were his dreams and his dreams alone and he didn't want no one meddling in his dreams -- I want to tell all of you.

You are not inferior because of your race or employment. Your pay grade or gender.

Here if you can pass a test or quiz or do a quick something every one gets $5.

Because you're all equal.

Love yourselves

And this man in the post is amazing i want to say again. Idk how old he is. He looks young. But he applied himself and focused and he tried. And he succeeded.

We're gonna be ok world. Its just gonna take some time

[onemanzerosquad]

New York Blackbeard Diary Pt. 3

Day 11.......Woke up.....Started my day getting breakfast then headed to my neurologist office to get my form from my job in regards to my restrictions. After, went to the library to print out documents in regards to a situation that led to someone purchasing something from a PayPal. Pretty much someone hacked into my PayPal and purchase a monthly subscription to watch a show smh. As I was heading to work, I thought about all of my problems and have decided to take care of all the problems. Feels like time is not on my side in my opinion and I can no longer deal with the bullshit no longer. As take care of the problems head on, I have no problem dealing with consequence even if my body limitations is at risk cause. I'm alone in this and that's no one fault cause everyone has their own problem to fix.

On on to the side story......2012.......

The new year started and I was in a long distance relationship. Unfortunately, It didnt last long. Obviously, communication was the cause of the problems. From there I was talking to girls got into a relationship but that didnt even last too. Then I saw her. Now I'm not gonna write her government name. So I'm gonna name her HopelessRomantic. Unlike every women I've been with physically, I actually found her online. I didn't expect her to give me a chance but she did. At first, we were back and forth breaking up and making up. Then mid year, she broke up with thru a inbox smh. She was right tho, I wasn't doing anything with my life and she felt I had no ambition. It's crazy because before she broke up with me, I wanted to let her know that I finally got a job lol. During that time til September, I was dating and talking to other women but at the same time trying to get back with HopelessRomantic. Then at one point, HopelessRomantic was going through a tough time. So I took an opportunity to help her out. I was making sure she was okay. Then one day there was a BWA (beach) reunion show and since I told HopelessRomatic about my backyard wrestling career, I invited her to the show. That day was interested as I got to see some of the guys even my first love and by the night, I brought her home and "Netflix and chill" happened lol. It was our first time doing something after 9 months of us knowing eachother. From that moment on we were back together but this time she trusted me and gave me another chance of love again. On to other things,in that year I started wrestling officially in BWA (Bronx). I had a chance to wrestle in RCW but I decided not to go. I knew I wasn't going to be comfortable there and plus the only people I would mostly trust would be the DIW wrestlers that I meant in 2011. Everyone else ehhhhh (the white boys weren't really there lol). BWA (Bronx) hands down was the best time of my backyard wrestling career. Holy Convictions Tag Team with Genocide, 4 aces, matches with Loco, Dixon, Dom The Don, my epic match against Gencocide that open everyone's eyes, and the match of the event of SuperShowDown (their Wrestlenania), against Joker. I had a epic time in the BWA (Bronx). Now back to HopelessRomantic. Our relationship was great. Our families liked us together, I got to see her often, I was working, the sex was great lol, and she even motivated me to actually go to college. The original plan was to go study Criminal Justice. Then December hit and after the hurricane, I came from chilling with a friend and HopelessRomantic send me a message on Facebook breaking up with me. There wasn't a particular reason. She wrote like an essay but it had nothing to do with me. I can only assume she wasn't interested anymore. So the year was heading to its end. So I decided to live it up with Black, Red, Green, and Blue Label with some 40s. Regardless of the break up, I still had good year.

Day 12.......Woke up and started my day with a cup of coffee. Went to my job to pick my check check my app to see how much since I started last week and today was pay week and apparently I got no pay listed on this week. So I can only assume my next check will make up for last week or something. Money is always with no value hard to get by but hey whatever. So went on my morning and TD Bank to fax the people apart of my dispute case and unfortunately the bank printing machine doesn't work doesn't work. So another Negative Nancy in the poison air of New York City. After work, I saw my Autismo crew (J God, Weirdo, and Porn Plug). Chopped it up a little bit and by the way F**K WWE 2K!!!!!

On on to the side story......2013......

2013 new year.....still working on and off. Surprisely, me and HopelessRomantic kept in contact regardless of the breakup. One day I brought her over just to chill. She got cozy which didn't bother cause she was single as was I. From what I remember, we were talking and it led to her being emotional and she was crying. So held her tight then boom......we had sex......The next day we were talking and I kinda express to her I wanted to get back together but she didn't want that. I actually cried but accepted and got over it. Probably like a month later, she got into a relationship with someone else which sucked even more. Other than that I signed up for a program that dealt with Digital Media and did well in the program. I was still working but not as much. My birthday but on that day I was sick (for about a week). After I healed, I started this new job that my guy Dirty Sandchez aka Eyevrows from Getaway hook me up with. It was an maintenance job. Did the job and all. July 4th hit and partying up drinking doing my thing. I woke up and got a call from HopelessRomantic letting me know that her Aunt passed. All I had was tears cause her aunt meant a lot The last time I talk to her was Mother's Day so the pain was more. I was mad and I played Dante's Inferno with anger. From morning til night, I beat the game. The one thing I notice alot that day was I had double vision that whole day. I would think that would be gone by the morning but it wasn't. After hanging out with my boy. I started to fall easily and constantly told I looked crossed eyed. By August my left leg felt like I or sprained it. August I finally hit the switch and started college. I was studying Mental Health/Domestic Violence Counseling. First semester went well. All As and 1 B. I even had my own little crew.

SIDE NOTE: One person in that crew ending up being my girlfriend (2016)

During the first semester I was still dealing with my health problems. Things got worse. My hands were so numb that I couldn't write. My double vision was there everyday and I had a hard time walking on my left leg. After going to the emergency room doing MRIs and Catscans and testing my strength with a group of neurologists and constantly hearing that I'm so young (I was 22), I saw a neurologist and he told me that I have Multiple Sclerosis.......

Day 13........Woke up, got ready, and speed walked to the bus stop to get to work. Unfortunately, I got a little late due to the bipolarness of the bus coming on schedule. When. I got to work, I couldn't punch in due to the app I punch in on couldn't connect to the server. After work, I went to see a friend that I haven't seen in quite some time and that was pretty much my day.

On on to the side story......2014.......

2014 came. I finally got my finally treatment after waiting for months for insurance reasons smh. I had to take it every week. I continued college by taking free classes inthe winter semester which was apart of Fall semester. As a result passed both classes with an A. From there my GPA was 3.6. With my education background with a learning disability, D equalivent grades, being in special ed classes, and receiving services due to my learning disability, for a guy with a incurable health condition that pretty much messes with your body depending on the central nervous system state, it was remarkable for something like that to happen. Spring semester hit and once again did my thing in classes, went on dates, and followed the routine of being on grind. Then the summer semester hit and I was offered to take a short summer class and I took it of course since it was free. That morning of first day of the class, I wanted to do the impossible and walked from my home to school (Albemarle and East 19 to Manhattan Beach). It took about 3 hours. Got to class on time and kind sat around or whatever. Some other people got inthe class and informed the professor that they were in the other classroom. For some odd reason I was more aware of a woman saying that then the others. Crazy cause that same woman ended up being my girlfriend by the end of September. We ain't saying government names. So her name for this post is Hermione (she likes Harry Potter). She had tattoos, smart, and she was honest for what I feel most of the time. Eventually the relationship didn't last and ended the same way.......a message. Her reasons made sense I guess (went too fast). Honestly I don't believe time should be a determining factor for a relationship to happen. If you feeling this person then give it a shot but that's just my opinion. Also, in 2014, I officially ended my backyard wrestling career against my friend, my brother, and my on screenplay rival Rodney Banks. It was the perfect ending to the legend that was called Heavy D.

Day 14.......Woke up. Gather some clothes and did some laundry. Sat outside for a little bit and headed back to the shelter and took a power nap. Woke up about 3 and watch One Piece Episode 901. I'm already current with the manga. So I'm basically watching what I already read. That was pretty much my Sunday. Plus I need all the rest for the upcoming days of this week. I gotta say, I'm slowly getting myself together to the point that people inthe shelter are noticing me more as hardworking individual. I'm always on the move and that's being notice and respected by people in the shelter.

On on to the tragic side story......2015

2015 started off okay. Winter semester was a success. I saw Hermione. But I didnt really give her attention after the break up but after we talked, we became friends and that was it nothing more. Spring semester came and I did my thing again and lived the college life but got a job. So now I'm get on my grind and officially had no time for much. Summer was here and my mother was working getting her passport to go back to Jamaica and see her family after years. One time I came from work and as usual expected my mother to be home since she doesn't like to be out late. She nevered came home which was extremely alarming. Call the police and I was informed that she was in the hospital in the city. Got to the hospital and use the phone to locate and she was in the 3rd floor ICU. I didn't know what ICU meant at that time but I knew it was something bad. Got to the ICU and saw my mother........Hospital covered with a bandage on her head as if someone bash a metal bat on her head. Come to find out, she had a seizure and fell on head in the street very hard. I was in tears. All I can remember was that the last time I saw her she told me that she was heading out. My mind was wtf like this ain't real. Called everyone I can call and every got the news that my mother was inthe hospital. She eventually got transfer to a rehab center in Far Rockaway Queens. Things seem to be okay. Then I come home from a hard day at home and I get phone call from a friend informing me that something happened and my younger brother didn't sound okay on the phone. Went to the hospital my mother was sent to. Her eyes was closed. Next couple of days saw her as the machine was helping her breath not responding or reacting inthe room. The doctor spoke to me and younger brother and pretty much said there a very little chance they can help. By October 12th. My younger brother called me and informed me that our mother died........

Day 15......Woke up.....Had to skip gym again. I had to get my mail and sent some emails. After, I went straight to work. After work, I happen to see a face I haven't seen in quite some time and we actually introduce our names after knowing each other for years. It's kind of cool knowing someone and finally just engaging in a conversation (just regularly). Then mailed my my money order to this One Shot Deal that I owe money to unfortunately. While on my way back to the shelter, I started thinking.....now knowing that just about everyone knows that I have Multiple Sclerosis......Hawk's Eye will be on me and my refusals from any assistance will make things a little more tough and edgier. So at this point, I have to be smart on everything I do. But I'm sure I'll get through this someway.

On on to 2016.......

2016 was here. After a hard 2015, I was able to keep the home, still work, made sure my health was good and survived a hard semester. I made the impossible possible. On the other hand, things were different. I started living somewhat a independent free life. I went to school, work, and party on the weekends. I was even going to the strip clubs and bars just living it up with my people. Eventually, I had this feeling like I needed to be what I was and I felt it was time to look for love again and I found it. No government names revealed. So her name was SoReal lol. I knew her since I started college (2013). We kept in contact and eventually we got together in July. It was love again. I haven't felt this type of love since my first relationship. She was smart, hardworking, and very determined to finish college. I was in love. When she felt she needed me, I was ready to help. We went on multiple dates. We talked all the time and we expressed that we loved each other. Other than love, I GRADUATED FROM KINGSBORO WITH AN ASSOCIATES!!!!! By September, I was city bound at City College. By the fall semester thing weren't good between me and SoReal. She distanced herself from me and with that I got less focus on school. Our relationship was so back and forth. When December hit, I got a letter from the landlord informing me that I must pay 3500 dollars in two weeks or I get evicted. So rent is not really being paid by my roommate, I'm barely getting thru college, and my relationship is a mess. As a result, I was still in relationship surprisingly, I pass my classes (barely), and I had to ask for assistance from this service called the One Shot Deal (where your whole rent is paid off but you got to pay back the money that was covered. 2017......would finally bring me to the limit.....

Not everything was meant to be......

Jikai........One Last Time. The Past From The Last View 2017 The Fall Of A Headliner

Mad King Recharging Arc

#sheltersystem #shelter #newyorkminute #thepastisthepast #impeldown #muken