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#I'm thinking really loud about this today
vettelsvee · 2 days
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EACH OTHER BEST KEPT SECRET | Sebastian Vettel
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sebastian vettel x carlos gf!reader
summary: seb's is feeling like shit and the only thing that will make him feel better is having a one night stand with carlos sainz's girlfriend
word count: 4328
warnings: cheating, y/n is carlos sainz's gf and seb is married to hanna (pls do not cheat to your partners!). smut (oral, both female and male receiving; fingering, p in v). curse words. slight degradation. narrated on seb's pov. use of y/n y/l/n.
you can send your one shots requests here! feedback as well as comment and reblogs are truly appreciated! <3
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Mick was by my side with a drink in his hand. He was constantly smiling despite getting a worse result, which only made me feel worse. I had dragged myself here so as not to look bad, and all I felt was that I was letting him down and had become more of a burden to him.
How could I enjoy this crappy party when all I wanted was this season to end when it just started?
"Do you really think bringing me here would help me?" I asked him as I waited for the seventh drink I thought I had taken. "I'm not in the mood, and I'm too old for this."
"I know you're not feeling well, Seb, but you need to disconnect a bit. Trust me, you will feel better.”
I reluctantly agreed.
I tried to smile at everyone who greeted or simply looked at me. I even tried to mingle among the bodies swaying back and forth, as drunk as I was, but it was impossible.
I was disappointed with myself. From being a threat on the track to seeming like a rookie.
"You don't look like a rookie, Seb. At least, not like me."
The voice of the recent Haas addition snapped me out of my thoughts. Had I said that out loud?
"Remember why you started all this, Seb," the boy continued. "The passion you have is still there. What's different are the results you're getting."
"Did I speak out loud?"
"This is the definitive sign for me to realize you’ve had enough alcohol today,” he pointed at my glass, filled to the brim with gin and tonic. "That's the last drink you're having. I don't want to drag you to your room. What would Hanna say if she saw you like this?"
She'd probably want me to have a good time, for sure.
"That I should stop drinking, or what?" I replied to Schumacher.
"Exactly. Don't let the pressure collapse you, Seb. You don't deserve that."
After talking a bit more about the disastrous first race of the year that we both had, Mick dragged me to the center of the dance floor. I refused several times at first, insisting that I wasn't one to let loose in front of others, but the boy was so enthusiastic, and I was so wasted, that I decided to go along with him and the atmosphere.
I moved not as timidly as I expected to the rhythm of the music, setting aside my worries and, above all, starting to care less and less about what would happen from now on with every drop of alcohol I ingested.
I noticed how suddenly Mick stopped. His gaze was fixed on a girl who passed next to us and who, undoubtedly, looked quite attractive, at least that's what the blond's looks confirmed. I also stopped my body's dance and turned to her, but it was quite difficult to recognize who she was among the crowd. Her dark green sequined dress and her raven hair, falling in waves over her back, were, at that moment, the only things that seemed to stand out from her in the dimness of the nightclub.
Who the hell was the girl who seemed to have caught my eye?
"Seb, are you coming?"
Mick's shouts over the music briefly made my eyes divert to him, then quickly return my attention to the stranger. She was now moving quite sensually with who knows who, somehow making me, Sebastian Vettel, married and a father, start to get excited.
"You go ahead, Mick. I'd rather stay here for a while."
My answer, barely audible, was a complete lie.
Of course, I wanted to go with him. What I didn't want was to once again succumb to temptation as I did with Astrid a few years ago.
"Wait, Mick!" I shouted, approaching the boy enough to grab him by the bottom of his shirt and pull him back to me. "Who is she?"
"Don't you know her? Seriously?"
I denied it too many times for him not to understand.
Did he really think that if I knew who she was, I would be asking him?
Mick, with a mischievous smile, finally understood that I was more confused than I would like.
"It's Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N. An influencer. She makes TikTok videos and all that stuff," the blond whispered in my ear. "She's also Carlos's girlfriend, in case you're interested to know."
I tried to remember, but the drunkenness prevented me from recalling any kind of connection or image of that girl. Y/N Y/L/N, Carlos's girlfriend... Sainz? Of course, it had to be Sainz, there was no other Carlos on the grid... that I knew of.
"Oh, yeah, of course," I lied. The last thing I wanted was to admit that right now I didn't remember anything about that girl. "Carlos Sainz dad or son?" I added, then laughed.
Mick looked at me, raising an eyebrow. Clearly, my last comment didn't amuse him.
"You seriously don't remember her?"
"Well, I talk to too many people throughout the day, and I have more important things on my mind than that girl whose dress gives her a perfect ass, you know?" I tried to excuse myself.
"If you don't know her, as you say... Why don't you go and say hello? It never hurts to socialize, and maybe it'll help you forget all the birds you have flying around in your head," the boy insisted, ignoring my previous comments.
I felt a mix of shyness and concern invading me. If I approached the supposed girlfriend of Sainz, not only was I letting down my wife, but also a colleague. I didn't know who could be around here or what might happen if we were seen talking.
I was sure that if I approached her, there were two options: either I made her uncomfortable, or everything was misinterpreted, and we both got into trouble unintentionally.
"I don't want to overwhelm her, Mick," I replied. Right now, I couldn't think of coherent excuses, but any seemed good to me. "What would I say? 'Hello, Sebastian, how are you?' Come on Mick, we're not kids anymore."
Mick crossed his arms. His eyes revealed amusement, and there was no doubt he was enjoying this.
"Seb, you're at a party. Talking is what you do at a party, not talking about cars all the time, that's what briefings are for."
"But..."
"Stop being silly. Go and say hello. You'll see she doesn't bite."
I loved Mick Schumacher like a son and like a little brother, but moments like this were when we seemed like teenage brothers fighting over control of a video game.
"Fine, I'll go say hello," I finally relented.
"You won't regret it, you'll see."
I was sure I would regret it.
I was drunk, and I could barely remember my own name.
I wasn't sober, and I knew I was about to make another mistake, one I didn't know if I would regret as soon as I woke up.
I was Sebastian Vettel, and, of course, adrenaline and the forbidden attracted me.
I had done it once before, and everything had stayed between Astrid and me, so... why not do it again for a second time, and let everything stay between Y/N and me?
"This place is too packed."
Y/N turned around, our chests almost touching. I immediately lowered my gaze, and it was difficult for me to look away from her cleavage, quite revealing.
"I hope it is not full of idiots like you, Vettel. My face is up here, not between my tits."
Shit.
"Sorry," I said, rushing. Did I really have to screw it up now?
"Do you need something, Vettel?"
"Do you want to go out for some fresh air?" I asked without even thinking. "The music is too loud, so it's going to be hard for me to hear you."
Y/N seemed to consider it for a moment. Her expression betrayed indecision and, at the same time, I would dare say curiosity. After a brief silence that felt like an eternity, and where I was praying that she saw me with the same eyes as I saw her, she agreed.
We walked outside, she in front of me and me acting as if I were doing something completely normal. I sat on some steps far enough away so no one could see us; to my surprise, she sat next to me closer than I expected.
"Well, Vettel, what's the reason for wanting to talk to me so badly?" the young woman demanded to know.
I'd like to tell her that I'd like to fuck her tonight, but that wouldn't be very polite of me.
"Well... I don't know. I saw you and I said, 'Oh, it's Y/N, Carlos's girlfriend,'" I emphasized the last part to see if she reacted. There was no reaction on her part, so I counted it as a win. "I wanted to say hi."
"Did your nerves also wanted to say hi?"
I said nothing.
"From the little we've talked you seem like a nice guy, Sebastian," she continued speaking, calling me by my name for the first time. "But today it seems like you're especially quite interested in talking to me. Do you have something else to tell me, or is it just a feeling I have right now because I've been drinking?"
"Maybe."
I tried to keep my composure, but her getting even closer to me, and starting to caress me in a way that sent shivers down my spine, and leaving her hand on my thigh, too close to my member, made all the hair on my body stand on end.
She smiled, and then I knew I had achieved my goal.
"Why don't we go somewhere more private, Seb?" she whispered in my ear. Her index finger traced my arm, while her right hand began to undo a few buttons on my shirt. "It would be great if we continued this conversation without any chance of being interrupted."
"Do you think you're going to talk a lot tonight? The only thing coming out of your mouth is going to be you moaning my name, Y/N."
"Are you sure you're going to get what you might want, Mr. Vettel?"
God. I didn't expect her to play along, but now I was sure I was going to need more of that.
"Sure, as long as Carlos doesn't find out," I said, deep down, with concern.
"Well then, let's get out of here then, as long as Hanna doesn't find out..."
She nodded with a playful smile, and immediately, I forced myself to get up and find a taxi.
Of the thousands that seemed to be around, I decided to stop the only one that was moving towards us. When it stopped in front of us, I opened one of the back doors for Y/N and settled in next to her, putting on my sunglasses to avoid being recognized.
"To the Grove Hotel, please."
No need to say anything else because, in an instant, the driver set off.
As the vehicle moved through the night streets of Bahrain, Y/N and I seemed to become one. Her hands grabbed the collar of my shirt and she pressed her lips against mine. Even knowing that we were taking a risk, I decided to undo her seatbelt to position her on top of me, where I had much greater access to her entire body. The kisses became faster, more aggressive, and I felt my erection growing at a dizzying speed.
"Is your friend happy to see me, Sebastian?" the girl asked, rubbing herself slowly and torturously against my bulge.
"You'll see him as soon as we get to my room."
I couldn't say much more because my hands acted for me, grabbing her neck and starting to bite it, sucking, and surely leaving a few marks that I didn't give a shit if they showed. Her moans grew louder and louder, begging me for more.
We were lucky that our journey had ended because I was more than convinced that if we had continued like that, I would have fucked her right there.
We got out quickly, trying to act as if nothing had happened, but once we were in the elevator we acted the same way again. Torturing each other seemed to have become the main game of the night, caring less and less about being discovered. The forbidden seemed to excite us more, and I didn't blame the Spanish woman: after all, it was me who had started everything.
When we reached the door of my room I forced myself to stop kissing her. Y/N, however, stood behind me on tiptoe, wrapping her arms around my neck. I turned around and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her closer to me and searching her eyes to see if she wanted the same thing I did at that moment.
"Do you want to come in?" I asked in a soft, husky voice.
She nodded, and with a movement that seemed memorized, I swiped the card through the reader, opened the door, and forced her to step inside.
Once I made sure I had locked the door, I knew everything was done.
She wearing only her black lace underwear, threw herself into my arms to continue what she had been doing on our way here. I lifted her astride me, her legs around my waist, and leaned her back against the wall, continuing to kiss her fiercely while she finished unbuttoning my shirt, throwing it somewhere as soon as she finished her task.
"Y/N..."
"You're horny, aren't you, Sebastian?"
"If you know I am why the fuck do you ask?"
My reluctant comment made the young woman hit my ches. I knew she wanted to go down, so I let her down and, as soon as her feet touched the carpeted surface, she got on her knees and started to unfasten my belt, then the button of my pants before pulling them down.
She left a trail of kisses on the lower part of my stomach and on the beginning of my groin, playing at the same time with the elastic of my boxers and my member.
"Let's see what we have here..."
She pulled down my underwear in one swift motion, leaving my cock, fully erect, exposed.
Her right hand wrapped around it in an instant, moving it up and down too slowly for my liking. I began to sigh, but I refused to beg her to speed up, hoping she would realize it herself. Soon enough, her tongue started to lick my tip, and pre-cum appeared as if out of nowhere; before I knew it, she was sucking on it like a child with a lollipop.
"You look so good like this, Y/N. I know that having another man's cock in your mouth, not your boyfriend's, turns you on more than you might want to admit. You must be fucking wet..."
I couldn't say anything else, but my moans seemed to say it all. My hands were on her head, indirectly urging her to go faster because I was getting closer and closer to what I hoped would be the first orgasm of the night. She listened to me: at least that's what she seemed to understand when a much greater sense of pleasure invaded me as her tongue began to make circular movements on my glans while she continued to suck without stopping and masturbate the part that wouldn't fit.
I came in her mouth without warning, and she swallowed everything without a word, moving her tongue over her lips to finish taking the remnants.
She got up and the only thing I could do, almost powerless, was throw her onto the bed and position myself on top of her to undress her and finally make her mine.
After unhooking her bra and being just about to start taking care of her lower part, my cell phone began to ring.
"Damn it..."
"Pick it up, daddy," she demanded. "We don't want anyone to find out about our secret, do we?"
Having her beneath me, teasing me as if she were an innocent schoolgirl, when all she was doing was provoking me even more, got me even hornier.
I picked up the phone and saw who the call was from.
Hanna.
"It's my wife," was all I could say. The annoying ringtone kept on, but I didn't dare to answer the call.
"Why aren't you answering?" 
"I'm with you, darling. Let it wait."
"What if we do something better?"
The girl sat up a bit on the bed and moved to the edge of it. The call seemed to be continuing, and my unease grew. Did Hanna imagine what I was doing right now, like this, with Y/N? Did she even consider the possibility that I might be unfaithful?
"Sebastian," the girl spoke again, "eat me while you talk to your wife."
"What?"
"Don't you want to play?" she asked. Again, that playful tone that turned me on so much came from her lips. "Well, let's play, but let’s do it my way."
I hated being challenged, and it seemed she knew it perfectly well.
Great. Did she want to play? Well, she was going to get it.
I got on my knees, still holding the phone in my hand. Hanna had already hung up, but that didn't mean I couldn't do things properly.
I selected her contact and put the call on speaker, leaving the device on the bed. I grabbed Y/N by her thighs and dragged her a bit further onto the surface, aligning her pussy perfectly with my face.
I yanked her panties off and the girl let out a surprised scream that coincided with my wife answering the call.
"Seb, are you okay? Is something wrong?"
And indeed, something was wrong, but Hanna Vettel wasn't aware of it, nor could she be.
"Yes, yes..." I replied as calmly as I could while I began to play with a finger between the girl's folds, spreading her wetness all over her pussy to lubricate her well. "It's just that I had to come to the bathroom because it was too noisy, and,you know how people are... having sex in stalls where barely one person fits."
Taking advantage of the fact that now it was my wife's turn to talk, I began to entertain myself with the girl's clitoris, who was ending her moans by putting a hand over her mouth.
"Do you remember when we used to do it?" my wife exclaimed excitedly. "We should do it again next time I come to see you."
"Damn it, Seb!"
"Honey, did I hear someone say your name, or am I just imagining things? Please tell me I'm not going crazy."
Shit. Sticking two fingers inside Y/N without warning hadn't been a good idea.
"No, no, no! There's another guy here named Sebastian. He met a girl named... Y/N, and look, now he must be doing something good to her for the girl to have screamed," I lied the best I could.
"And you're doing it really well," Y/N whispered so that only I could hear. "No wonder Hanna wants to do it with you in some disco bathroom. Who wouldn't fuck you anywhere?"
I took the opportunity to spread her legs even further and sliding my tongue, flat, over her entrance, moving up slowly enough to make her desperate, all the way up to her clitoris. Her hand was on my hair, gripping it tightly so that I wouldn't stop; I quickly moved it away and nodded towards the phone, where Hanna was still on the line.
"When are you coming back, Seb?" my wife spoke again. "The girls are asking more and more about you, and I don't know what else to tell them to make them stop."
"Well..."
Shit. Y/N had to stop arching her back, tilting her head back, and massaging her right breast because all that did was let me know that she was about to come, and for now, I didn't want her to reach that point.
My goal at that moment was twofold: to prevent Hanna, my wife, from discovering what I was doing, and to prevent Y/N, who seemed to be my new lover, from coming, no matter that three of my fingers were entering and exiting her at the same time as the tip of my tongue moved quickly over her clitoris.
"Seb? Can you hear me? Do you have coverage?"
"Yes, yes!" I hoped I didn't have coverage. "Although it's getting worse every time I think.”
The Spanish girl was close, I could feel it in the contractions of her entrance around my fingers. I wrapped my arms around her thighs and pulled her even closer to me, if that was even possible. I placed my right hand on the lower part of her stomach, forcing her to stay still.
"Hey, Hanna, I'm going to hang up because I think my phone is running out of battery," I lied again. Now, my only goal was to eagerly lick my new girl, not to talk to the woman I had been sharing my life with for years. "How about we talk tomorrow? I'll call you before I'm at the airport."
"Sure, Seb. Take care and don't do anything crazy, okay? And take care of Mick too, I don't want him doing anything crazy either."
I didn't give her time to say anything else because I pressed the red button at the same time as I withdrew from Y/N.
"You're a son of a bitch, Sebastian Vettel," was all the young woman said. I knew she wanted to kill me at that moment for leaving her on the edge of ecstasy.
"You know as well as I do that you'll thank me soon when I make you mine. The next time you fuck Carlos you regret it’s not me making you feel wanting to be fucked like the slut you are."
I put on the condom as quickly as I could and forced her legs to wrap around my waist.
I entered her abruptly, and now I was convinced that her scream had gone beyond the four walls surrounding us.
"Oh God, Sebastian. Don't stop, please."
"I hadn't planned on it, angel," I replied as best I could. Pleasure had invaded me too quickly, and I was quite surprised.
Why was the forbidden so tempting?
Her back arched again as my thrusts increased in both speed and depth. Her legs seemed to give way because I knew it would be difficult for her to hold out without coming after having been so close before; I kept them on my waist with one of my hands, while the other began to rub her most sensitive spot relentlessly.
"Look at me."
My voice sounded too demanding, but I didn't care.
"Look at me right now, angel," I repeated after seeing that she hadn't listened to me.
I felt her walls surrounding my penis as if her insides were on fire. Her gaze tortured me; her teeth biting her lower lip made me want to put her in a thousand more positions, to keep going with her until we both died of pleasure.
My hips increased in speed when I felt the nervousness in the lower part of my stomach. Then, I forced her to lie down more to start kissing her neck desperately, licking and sucking her nipples, making her sighs increase and forcing me to forget all worries.
Was it the same person who just a few hours ago was crawling around the corners because she had stopped being who she was a few years ago?
If having sex with Y/N would make me forget everything, I was more than condemned to madness because that was what I intended to keep doing if she allowed me.
"Seb..." the girl gasped. I felt her nails digging into my back. The pain that on another occasion would have seemed unbearable was now giving me pleasure.
I was desperate to come. I felt like I was about to explode, but I controlled myself because I didn't want the night to end so soon.
My hands went from holding her lower extremities to massaging her breasts, so big they didn't fit in my hands. I forced myself to stop giving her hickeys on her neck to lift myself up a little and enjoy the sight in front of me. My cock entered and exited Y/N constantly, more regularly even though I couldn't take it anymore; her breasts moving so irregularly because self-control was impossible, and her hand massaging her clit forcefully to come once and for all was an absolute damnation.
"Sebastian!"
I watched her squint her eyes after her shout because she wanted to see herself reach what we both had longed for that night. I followed her with a guttural sound and my semen filling the condom as my hands gripped her hips for as long as I was coming.
I stayed inside her long enough to realize that it had been real.
Meanwhile, silence had taken over. The only thing that could be heard was our breaths, agitated and synchronized with the rhythm of our chests.
I ran two of my fingers over her entrance before lying down, and without me telling her anything, she took them in her mouth, savoring herself. She did the same when she kissed me again, now lying on top of me.
"I want to keep going like this, Sebastian," she whispered, kissing me again in between. "But neither Carlos nor Hanna can find out."
"That's fine with me, angel. From now on, we're both each other's best kept secret."
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Prompts 8 and 14 with Poly lost boys? (If not Poly, I’ll be good with any of them-)
8. Quiet, she has just fallen asleep!
14. Are you alright?
Thank you so much for requesting! I hope you like this!💜
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The house was quiet. Maria had gone off to work at the videostore, and Shelly had gone out to meet with her boyfriend Greg. Normally, I would have put some music on, doing some chores or making some art now that they were gone. But not today. I woke up feeling off. I had hoped that after some breakfast and some coffee, it would be over, but alas, it only got worse. So that's why I found myself lying on the couch, with the remote control of the telly in my hand. I still hadn't put it on, knowing that the sound - no matter how soft it could be - would only worsen the headache I had.
I closed my eyes as I felt another pang of pain flashing through my head. The headache had been there all day, but now it was slowly but surely turning into a splitting headache. I knew I couldn't ignore it any longer and made my way to the kitchen. Somewhere, in one of the cabinets, I was certain I'd have a package with aspirin. I sighed as I entered the kitchen, seeing the dirty dishes piling out of the sink. The remains of our lunch were lying on the kitchen island. It was a mess. Normally, I wouldn't mind cleaning it up, but now, the thought alone made me want to cry. God, I felt sick.
I opened the cupboard, realising that the package I had had been used up by my housemates. The only thing left of it was the empty box. I sighed as I threw it in the bin, deciding that I'd have to go to the drugstore. I got dressed in some comfortable yet more appropriate clothing - I didn't want to go outside in my pyjamas - and put my shoes on. After locating my keys on the dining room table, I headed outside - only to return to put a jacket on. It was surprisingly cold outside.
As I walked down the street, I was a little relieved to realise that the sun was setting already. It meant that my boyfriends would be going to the boardwalk soon. As much as the idea of being in a brightly lit, loud space didn't appeal to me, the idea of being with them and near them did.
The door to the drugstore opened with a soft tinkle as I pushed it open, the bell above the door signalling my presence. It was quiet inside, the only other customer an old lady. I greeted her quietly before searching the aisles for what I needed. I didn't pay attention when I heard the bell ring, nor did I pay attention to the space around me. So, when I found the brand I needed, and made a move to grab it, I bumped into someone.
"Oh my god, I'm so-"
"Shit, you look like shit babe!" I looked up and saw that I had bumped into Marko. I gave him a watery smile.
"I kind of feel like it, I think it hay-fever or something."
Marko nodded, his hand resting on my forehead to check my temperature. "I think it's a bit more than that."
"Fever?"
"Yeah, a bit. Come on," he took the medicine I wanted and walked towards the checkout. "You're staying with us tonight."
"Weren't you going to the boardwalk?"
"You're more important. Santa Carla won't forget who owns the place if we don't show up one night."
I nodded, taking a deep breath. It was suddenly really warm inside. "What were you doing here?"
"Paul's been complaining about a lack of liquorice in the cave."
"He really likes that stuff?"
"Apparently. We can't all be perfect," he paid for the liquorice and the aspirin, also asking for a bottle of water. He grabbed our stuff, opening the door for me. Once we were outside, I stopped walking for a moment, taking some deep breaths.
"Are you alright?"
I shook my head slightly. " 'm feeling a little faint."
"Go and sit down, alright?" He handed me the bottle of water and the aspirin. "Have you eaten today?"
I shrugged as I took a sip. "Wasn't hungry."
"You actually got the liquorice!" I looked up as I saw Paul appearing out of thin air in front of me. "And you got our gir- Jesus, you look like shit."
I nodded, feeling a little less faint than before. I heard the loud rumble of motorcycles, and I knew that Dwayne and David were also here now. I looked up, smiling tiredly as David walked towards me.
"Hey."
"Hey darlin'," he helped me stand up, looking me over as I did. I felt myself tremble a little. Maybe Marko was right, and this was more than allergies. "Let's get you home. Do you think you can hold on?"
I nodded, climbing on the back of his bike, and holding on to him tightly.
"We need some food, see if there's a store open so you can get her some fruit and bread and such."
"Sure thing. Is there anything you'd like?" Paul looked at me, and I shook my head. He nodded, kissing me softly on my forehead before driving off. Marko handed Dwayne the stuff we'd just bought, saying he'd be home shortly. He had to feed. Dwayne drove next to us, both David and him driving slower than usual. I was glad they did, mainly because their usual driving style was close to nauseating. Besides, with them driving slower, the chances of me gliding off were slimmer. I closed my eyes for a bit, a sudden tiredness overwhelming me.
"Don't fall asleep, love."
" 'm not." I mumbled, holding on a little tighter.
"We're almost home, then you can sleep all you want."
Dwayne was true to his word. Less than five minutes later, we stopped at the edge of the cliff leading towards the cave. Without a word, Dwayne lifted me up, carrying me in his arms down the stairs and into the lobby of the sunken hotel.
"Couch or bed?"
"Couch," I said softly, trying to stiffle a yawn, "Don't want to be alone."
"Alright, love."
He carefully laid me down on the couch, taking some pillows from Star's bed to make sure I was comfortable. David brought me the blanket I normally used while staying here, a thick and soft fabric covering the whole thing. I mumbled a soft thank you.
"How long have you been feeling sick?" David asked, crouching down next to me, brushing some hair out of my face.
"Since this morning."
"It's probably just a cold or a flu. Is the aspirin helping?"
"A little, I guess?"
He gave me a soft smile, getting up. I closed my eyes, drifting in and out of consciousness before sleep finally came.
I don't know how much time passed before I woke up, but when I did, I could hear an annoyed Dwayne hiss something at Paul and Marko.
"Quiet, she has just fallen asleep!"
"Ah shit, sorry, babe!" Paul whisper yelled at me, causing me to sleepily open my eyes.
" 's okay," I nodded, looking at them.
"I know you said you didn't want anything from the store, but I also brought you some cookies and chocolate."
I smiled tiredly, wincing as I felt my headache return. "Thank you, hon."
"If you're not feeling better tomorrow, we could give you some blood to speed up the healing process?" Marko offered. I bit my lip, not knowing whether I'd like that or not. I did feel sick, but to drink blood? "Just think about it, alright?"
"Yeah."
He smiled before looking outside. The sky was turning a bright red. He went to the back of the cave, climbing through the liftshaft. Dwayne and Paul followed. I pulled my blanket closer against me, curling up, when I felt a pair of arms lifting me up.
"Hm?"
"We're staying with you today, sweetheart."
" 's nice," I mumbled sleepily, already dosing off as he brought me to the bedroom. I was asleep before I even hit the pillow, my boys surrounding me, making sure I'd be okay.
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sqirtle · 2 days
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Small fic based on this!
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"So do you think a HUGE scissors sadness could beat a small rock sadness?"
Siffrin chuckled, but kept his gaze on the unfinished chair leg, "I think so, yeah. A strong Scissors craft done by a person can still beat a rock sadness, so it could work in a hypothetical sadness versus sadness fight, can't it?"
Bonnie hummed, "I guess so? You should try that sometime."
"Are you suggesting I go explicitly against precisely what Nille told me not to do?"
Bonnie giggled, "It's not like you don't do it anyway!"
Siffrin almost messed up their carving, "No I don't!"
"Yes you do! I know things, you know?"
Siffrin grimaced, "...how do you know?"
Bonnie laughed, loud and cheerful, "For starters, you've just confirmed it!"
Siffrin groaned.
"And also, you keep going out to 'fish', come back with no fish, and looking like you got mauled by a bear."
Siffrin gasped, "No I don't! I don't lose fights!"
"If you say so."
"I do say so."
Bonnie giggled, and Siffrin exhaled, finishing up another chair leg. He blinked, "Oh! I think I'm done with the chairs."
Bonnie turned away from the stove, "You are?"
"Yeah. I just need to make the table legs and assemble all of these, and I'll be done with Ms. Jill."
"Good," Bonnie says, "She sucks. I don't like her coming here so often."
Siffrin hummed, sanding the latest chair leg some more, "Are you almost done cooking? I can help if you're not."
They shook their head, tongue sticking out as they stirred the pan, "No, I'm neeearly done." They gently flipped the sweet potato fries, and promptly turned off the stove, "Ok, all done!"
"Did you salt the fish?"
Bonnie nodded, then the nod slowly turned into a shake of the head. "Forgot."
Siffrin laughed, and stood to ruffle their hair, "It's okay. I'll bring the salt once I set the table, then."
Bonnie pushed his hand away, sticking out their tongue, "Okay! I'll go wait for Nille outside!"
Siffrin smiled as they ran off the house, and set the table. The cute, nicely decorated fork for Bonnie, the plain darkless one for themself, and the one with the darkened handle for...
"NILLE'S HOME!" Bonnie exclaimed from the door, startling Siffrin into dropping the forks on the table, "Oops! Sorry!" They said, a nervous smile on their face.
Siffrin breathed deeply, and smiled at them both, "Hey, Peel."
Nille smirked at him, "Hey Crabfrin, did Bug here blow up the kitchen today?"
Bonnie groaned, "No!!!! I didn't!!!!!!"
"Results inconclusive. I was busy carving. The kitchen might just be gone."
"I didn't!! I didn't blow it up!!!!!"
Nille shook her head, fake remorse in her tone, "Wow, that's too bad. Guess we'll have to get a new kitchen."
Bonnie puffed out their cheeks, "Alright that's it. None of you get to eat my delicious and amazing fish and sweet potatoes."
Nille laughed, "Nooo! Buggg please let us have some!!"
Bonnie shook their head resolutely, "No. You were a crab. No food for you!"
Siffrin smiled, "What if I apologized and gave you a little kiss on the forehead?"
Bonnie paused. "..fine."
.
They sat down to eat.
Dinner was about as eventful as always, which is to say everyone spoke about what they did during the day (and when had Bonnie had time to do all that? Had Siffrin really been that immersed while carving?) and, of course, sent their compliments to the chef ("We MUST have someone else cooking here, the cooking is too good!", "Wow, you picked out all the fish bones? Thanks Bug!")
After that, Bonnie went to bed as Nille was on dishwashing duty, and Siffrin in drying.
"Did Mr. Flemming give you much trouble?" Siffrin asked, drying a fork and putting it away.
"Huh?" Nille tilted her head, passively scrubbing a plate, "Oh, nah, he was patient and all, he just had me wanting for long bouts of time in-between tasks. That's why I took so long to get home."
"Ah." She usually got home before Bonnie even started cooking, after all, "I see."
They cleaned for a few more minutes in comfortable silence.
"Oh, right." Siffrin said, "Do you want to come with me to watch a play, next weekend?"
"Sure," Nille answered easily, "What's it about?"
"I'm not sure, I think it's new? Something about a boy going inside of a book?"
"That sounds fun. Are we taking Bonnie?"
"If they wanna come!" Siffrin nodded, finishing up the last plate, "I don't think it's age restricted."
"Cool, we have a weekend plan, then!" Nille smiled, and walked out of the kitchen, "Don't forget tomorrow Bon has that playdate of theirs after school, okay?"
"Yeah, I'll pick them up." Siffrin nodded, removing his gloves and smiling at her, "Good night, Nille."
"See you tomorrow." She smiled back, and they both went to bed.
.
Sifffin sighed shakily under their cloak.
Bonnie never did go to that playdate. He refused to think about what happened to their little friend, and instead held Bonnie's hand tighter and they continued to run.
Chin up Siffrin.
Chin up.
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uniquexusposts · 2 days
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Her || Charles Leclerc
Chapter 2: From Friends to Rivals
Matilde found herself in unfamiliar territory as she sat on a relaxing stool in the airport lounge of the airline she was flying with today. It was the first time she sat in an airport lounge - a lounge for business class, because usually she flew economy as that was all she could pay for. And since she wasn't a 'Head' of a department, or someone that important, she flew economy with her team. And now as team principal, she sat in a lounge, between people with money and probably a status. Nevertheless, her flight was delayed. Whether you sit in a lounge or at the gate, the impatience level feels the same.
A teasing remark snapped her out of her contemplation. "You won't make friends with that look on your face, ey."
The new team principal looked up and she was greeted by her best friend and ex-colleague. With a playful response, Matilde countered: "It's a good thing that I am not waiting to make any new friends," Matilde replied and sat up. "Hello, darling."
Gemma sat down on the stool in front of her. "Finally," she breathed, the weight of the past three weeks hearable in her words. "What a week, well, three weeks; testing, racing, everything." She looked next to her and saw two people joining them by sitting down at the two seats next to them.
"Hello," GP smiled, Max Verstappen's race engineer.
"Hey, hey," Hannah chimed in and sat down, she was the Head of Strategy.
Matilde looked at her former colleagues, now rivals. A smile grew on her face. "Now I finally get to experience how it feels to be important," she teased. "You get fancy shit."
"Do you know how extremely hard we work?" Gemma replied with a mock-offended expression on her face.
GP smirked. "All you get to do is listen to Max during interviews," he said to Gemma.
A collective laughter enveloped them. As the amusement settled, Matilde added her own remark. "Oh, right, and the husband has the toughest job ever here." She looked at GP.
They all laughed.
"But Matt, let's debrief. Tell me about your week." Hannah's tone shifted, steering the conversation toward a more serious topic.
Matilde's expression took on a thoughtful cast, the weight of her new role evident in her gaze. "It has been a rollercoaster," she began, a note of exhaustion and determination in her voice. "And I am still on it." She looked at them one by one, figuring out if she could speak out loud about her thoughts. These three people were close to her during her time at Red Bull. Matilde joined Red Bull at the same time as GP, she was Hannah's right hand and Gemma became a really close friend. "Honestly, I have more respect for Christian now. It's only been a week, but I have no idea what I'm doing or what has happened."
"Why?" Gemma asked.
"I still have to process everything." Matilde took a deep breath. "I got here and I became Kim Kardashian."
"Yeah, of course. Binotto gets sacked and a day later you're here," Hannah remarked with a hint of playful scepticism.
"What's up with that?" GP curiously asked.
Matilde pressed the corners of her mouth down and threw her hands up in the air. "I don't know. Honestly, I'm just as surprised as you are. I mean, the deal was as good as done, but I was expected to start after the summer break. That's why I stepped down last year after Zandvoort, because I was already talking with Ferrari. But it's quite a red flag, isn't it? The fact that they let him do testing..."
"What do you expect from Ferrari?" Gemma said, adding a note of realism in her tone. "The team's as red as their livery."
GP looked disapproving at Gemma. "Don't let her regret making this decision, Gemma," he said.
"A new clown entered the circus. I hope I can keep up the act," Matilde blurted. "And stay for longer, make some changes, understand the deeper issues of this team and their philosophy, perhaps win some races. No, but I can't really say what I think of it yet, I still have to process everything, but so far, it's overwhelming and busy and nice."
GP took a sip of his cappuccino. "Woman is still in shock. And the team?"
"Tough crowd," she answered. "Exactly how I expected them to be. Stubborn, old-fashioned, but they're kind so far. It's different from Red Bull, with different people and team spirit."
"And Leclerc and Sainz?" Hannah asked.
"Can't really tell yet, honestly. They were both quite distant, Leclerc more than Sainz. But it's the first week, I don't know. I can't make assumptions already." Matilde took a deep breath. "But I don't have the same vibes, yet, as I had with Max and Checo - I can't really compare them with each other, but it feels like I have to earn Leclerc and Sainz's respect first."
Her friends exchanged knowing glances, understanding the feelings Matilde was experiencing.
"It's the first impression that counts the most," GP said, adding his perspective. "But like what?"
Matilde paused for a moment. Could she share this? But on the other hand, the race had passed and they had gathered the data already. And they spoke as equals rather than competitors. "I know the strategy is not my job anymore, I have a team for that. I can have an opinion on it and I have to keep it to myself, but..." Matilde let out a groan of frustration.
"Let me guess, you had a strategy in your mind and they didn't want to use it?" Hannah asked.
Matilde pressed her lips into a thin. "The jokes we made about the strategy at Ferrari?" She let out a breath. "Exactly that."
"Oh, boy," Gemma mumbled.
"Let's say there may be a reason why we didn't make it on the podium," Matilde replied and put on a professional smile. "I am not used to leading a team yet, I still have that team player inside me and I want to stir during the briefings, but I have other things to do."
Gemma grinned. "What was your strategy?"
Matilde only looked at her, not saying a word.
"Softs, 15, softs, 35, hards," Hannah filled in. "And what did you do?"
"Sainz had softs, 13, hards, 31, hards. Leclerc had softs, 13, hards, 33, hards," Matilde explained. "The result? Fourth and fifth position. It worked, I'm not denying that. I don't want to say this, but I'm convinced that if we used the strategy I proposed, we would have been in a fight with you. We could have pushed harder." Matilde shrugged. "But fine, first race, new team, new team principal. It's fine for now."
GP nodded in agreement. "But hey, don't be harsh on yourself. You managed to get points. It was almost a podium."
Her response was candid, her aspirations were set high. "It could have been a podium."
GP smiled. 'Look at you, there's that winning mentality.'
Matilde smiled as well and blushed a little bit.
"Your first times are always a bummer, they always suck. You can be satisfied, you didn't get a DNF for one or both cars," Gemma said. "All right, work aside. Are you going to the UK or Italy actually?" She turned the conversation towards her travel plans.
"Italy. My dad and brothers moved everything from Northampton to Modena. So I'm curious to see where I will end up, to see what Ferrari managed to get."
Gemma smirked. "Did you ask them to find you a place? Team principal commands at its finest."
"Gotta make use of my position now," Matilde replied playfully. "No, they offered to help me find a place. I was like: sure, you do you. I haven't seen any of it yet. I only know Italy as a holiday destination, not as a living situation."
The conversation continued, blurring the lines between their professional analyses and friendly banter. Matilde asked about their weekend and they talked about multiple situations within the Red Bull team.
Time, however, was slipping away. Matilde looked at her watch and sighed. "As much as I love spending time with you, my flight won't wait forever."
Gemma raised an eyebrow, a playful smirk on her lips. "Well, well, look at her. Our very own high-flying team principal on a tight schedule."
Matilde rolled her eyes with a chuckle.
"Yeah, we wouldn't want the mighty team principal to be late for her flight. Wouldn't want the plane to take off without her," GP chimed in.
"Hilarious, guys."
Hannah smiled. "We're just one garage away. You know where to find us," she amusingly smiled.
With a final exchange of smiles and hugs, Matilde turned and walked toward the exit of the lounge. She made her way to her gate and stepped on the plane, leaving the first weekend behind in Bahrain.
* * *
As the taxi navigated the surroundings of Emilia-Romagna, Matilde gazed out of the window, inspecting and observing the scenery that would now be her daily backdrop. She was tired. The flight from Bahrain was long; the time went slow. Since it was a day flight, she barely slept. She had a stop in Istanbul, but luckily she still made it to the planned flight to Bologna. It was almost evening, meaning she could jump into her bed once she got to her new place.
Seated comfortably in the backseat, Matilde pulled out her phone. As the taxi continued its journey, she navigated through various news articles and opinion pieces that were written about the Bahrain Grand Prix. She was no stranger to the media within the world, having spent years in the world and she got used to it, but this time it was different. The headlines were about her - Matilde Jørgensen, the new face of Scuderia Ferrari.
She read the articles with a mixture of curiosity and determination. The critics had their say about her, like they had about everyone on the grid, but this time, it was her. And only her. They were curious to see how a relatively young woman would handle the pressure at Ferrari and how she would lead the team without the knowledge of being a team principal. They spoke about her welcome, her decisions so far, the strategy choices and the team management during her first race weekend. Some praised her audacity to step into such a high-pressure role, while others (the most) questioned her lack of experience as a team principal. The highs and lows of the race weekend were analysed in black and white by experts and wannabes.
Matilde's lips pressed into a thin line as she read through the critics. She finally understood why famous people never read things about themselves, and she was only a team principal. Each word was a reminder of the immense responsibilities she had undertaken. She might be new to this role, but she was ready to learn, fail, adapt and prove herself.
Her attention alternated between the articles and the passing scenery. She had entered the city, her new home. With a final glance at her phone, she set it aside. Matilde was ready to take in her new city. But one sentence kept on repeating itself in her mind:
"Jørgensen is too present during the race."
The criticisms would always be there, people always had an opinion on something, no matter what or who you were.
As the taxi finally pulled into Matilde's street, her heart quickened. The taxi slowed and she took a deep breath as the taxi stopped. The driver told her that they arrived. Matilde paid for his services and got out of the car, being welcomed by the Italian air. The driver got her suitcase from the truck and gave it to the woman. Matilde thanked him once again.
She stood before the entrance of her new apartment building. Her gaze traced the building; the building had a timeless charm over it, a blend of classic Italian design and modern functionality. She walked to the front door and pressed on the bell of her apartment: number 6.
"Ja?"
"Det er mig: Matilde," she smiled, saying it was her, since her family was already at her new place.
"Oh, Tilly! Kom snart ind," her dad happily said, saying she had to enter the building quickly.
With a smile on her face, she entered the building. The entrance was roomy and just beautiful. She was welcomed with the scent of aged wood and fresh flowers. The lobby was a graceful fusion of traditional elements and contemporary aesthetics. It was like she had entered her Pinterest board. She walked up the stairs to her apartment on the third floor.
"Velkommen hjem," her dad welcomed Matilde home as she entered her place.
A warm feeling entered her body when she heard the Danish language. "Dad," she happily said and flew into his arms.
The reunion started when Matilde's two brothers appeared in the living room as well. Lars and Jens were happy to see their little sister, especially after this week, they were extremely proud. Viggo was a proud father too, of course. Matilde asked about how they moved her household from the UK to Italy.
"That's a worry for later," Lars smiled. "Go explore your new house."
Jens proudly smiled. "We tried to style it, and you can change it later, obviously, but this is what we thought was cool."
"Oh, it's amazing, guys. You are angels. How can I thank you?" Matilde placed her hands on her cheeks and didn't know where to look.
"By giving us paddock passes," Jens widely smiled.
Lars looked playfully, but disapprovingly at Jens. "Too early, dude."
Matilde hit Jens on his chest and rolled her eyes, shaking her head afterwards.
The apartment exuded a modern, yet classic and cosy ambience. It was weird to see her furniture standing in the space. She walked through her apartment and was surprised in every room she entered. It was a two-bedroom apartment, it wasn't big, but it was just her and she didn't need much space. The living room was small, but cosy; her couch just fitted in the space.
"This is amazing. Thank you so much. Wow." Matilde looked at her family. "It feels like we are on Buying Blind," she laughed, still perplexed on seeing her new apartment. 
Co writer: @mistrose23
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k1rishiki · 2 months
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the thing about the queer media tournament that really gets me is that last i checked there wasn't a single mxtx work on it. like not even the untamed made it in and don't get me wrong the og mo dao zu shi books are huge but cql is def more popular among tumblr circles. idk it just really rubs me the wrong way how every single piece of western media that ppl have ever gotten a lil bit aggressive abt shipping with is there and then for east asian media there's utena and madoka magica and the handmaiden and last i checked that was pretty much it. and then for the rest of the world there's next to/nothing but idk enough to really make judgements there.
#like. really? no mo dao zu shi? no scum villain's self saving system? no heaven's official blessing? no nana?#i can think of at least 10-20 pieces of media more deserving of being in there than some of the western works that got in off the top of my#head. yuri is my job (self explanatory). fate/stay night (most of the cast is bi but esp rin bc she says it out loud + saber trans coded).#fate/extra (red saber canon bi + nameless archer. stay night lancer. kirei and issei are all there). black butler (grelle trans. also#eric and alan from one of the musicals + alois from s2 of the accursed anime + nina and possibly mey rin are all gay)#toilet bound hanako kun (kou and mitsuba went canon). the evillious chronicles (michaela. clarith and bruno are gay. bohemo possibly trans.#gallerian possibly gay). requiem of the rose king (self explanatory). project sekai (mizuki trans. minori and rui possibly gay).#cocoon entwined (literally a yuri). fucking honkai impact 3rd (lesbians but i don't play it so idk who). any uc gundam series w char and#amuro but especially char's counterattack (char and amuro explicitly confirmed to be gay 4 each other by author + movie focuses on their#relationship). also mobile suit zeta gundam (char and amuro together + kamille is a boy's name!). turn a gundam (gay character).#iron blooded orphans (gay character). the witch from mercury (about a lesbian relationship). melty blood (ries and sion lesbians).#guilty gear (bridget (self explatory)). sailor moon (mainly uranus and neptune lesbians but also apparently there are a lot of gay#characters i didn't know abt in sailor moon). the illustrated guide to monster girls (yuri moment). dramatical murder (yaoige). slow damage#(yaoige). sweet pool (yaoige). ouran high school host club (haruhi gender stuff and also her dad's whole deal). cowboy bebop (ed gender#stuff). fullmetal alchemist (envy nonbinary). neon genesis evangelion (kaworu and shinji). like half the villainess isekai out there.#haruhi suzumiya series (the girl herself is openly bisexual). omniscient reader's viewpoint (danmei). fucking re:zero has a trans girl in i#for god's sake. we're well past 20 so i'm allowing myself more fate. fate/extra ccc (red saber again but also gil and caster and bb and-).#fate/hollow ataraxia (follows same cast as f/sn). today's menu for the emiya family (follows same cast as f/sn again. also the switch game#metatextually canonizes shirou's crush on lancer if the interesting descriptions from f/sn and the various bits from f/ha didn't convince#you). fate/apocrypha (rider of black + saber of red transfemme nonbinary and trans guy respectively. the former is also bi). fate/samurai#remnant (f/sr saber nonbinary. also gil is there and rogue archer is def implied to be bi in f/go). fate/zero (waver gay rider bi. saber gi#and kirei are all there and at their most bisexual). the case files/adventures of lord el melloi ii (waver spinoff (self explanatory)).#fate/strange fake (gil and waver are there. also false lancer nonbinary and jester trans). fate/grand order (has p much every character fro#the franchise and more. notably added trans anime girl leonardo da vinci). ok no more fate. since the tournament has a p liberal definition#of media i'm including vocasongs. magnet by minato ft miku and luka (lesbian song abt lesbians). erase or zero by hzedge ft len and kaito#(magnet for boys). himitsu ~kuro no chikai~ by hitoshizuku and yama ft len rin and miku (angel rin falls in love w miku. disguises herself#as a human man to be with her). i think i've made my point clear but add my initial list of the big famous ones (-nana) from the 1st tag.#romeo.txt
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p2ii · 1 month
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I've always been on the fence about wheather I could consider myself neurodivergent or not (and use words like hyperfixation) and then I experience the first days of a new obsession and everything goes downhill.
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fourteenthz · 2 days
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Been thinking abt thesa/thancred and how long it took her to take her feelings seriously. Sometimes, you repress a part of your heart for so long that when it's reawaken, it feels like a dream. Or a nightmare even. And it's painful at first and just genuinely seems morally wrong for someone, so duty bounded, but then.... once he takes a step forward, it flows so easily. It's like he's giving her his hand and saying, "I'll teach you how to deal with it," and if it was spoken by any other soul in any other tone, she'd take offense. If it was anyone else but him. And when they are together at first, it just entirely feels like puppy love. And for some reason she knows that past-thesa would scoff at this and how childish it looks - how she acts like a teenager in love sometimes when they are alone - and she loves it because Thancred doesn't think that. And slowly, she isn't thinking that anymore. She's learning with him, you know.
#its 6am what am i even doing with my life#i should be asleep. i have 1 day free and instead of sleeping and stay awake all night with thoughts abt thesa/thancred#and for some reason i still can't write anything im happy with. i miss writing.#whats wrong with my word doc and why did this text post came easier than anything I've been trying the last month#anywah THEM......#thinking about them at the beginning of their relationship so hard rn. cant stop the thoughts.#how they are so used to understand one another by looks but then when it comes to romance it changes the dynamic#how she is a lot more vocal but still so bad at conveying her feelings and truly understanding that kind of his#and shes always like 'i think you will have to tell me what is it' and how she gets ready for it to be annoying thing to say#but instead of reacting like that he goes 'once you stop distracting me I'll try' and kisses her and and and 🗣🗣#its the person who thinks they are hard to love x person who loves them like breath etc etc...... u get me..#its abt her slowly opening up to love and how just bc its hard doesn’t mean it's bad....#thancred being surprised about how cheeky and talkative she is once they are comfortable in a relationship....#and her not being surprised at all with how gentle he is. because some things change but other's are intricately theirs#and its abt learning the new things and getting used to love the old ones and just. love is so nice. im having feelings rn excuse me.#throwing up etc etc how do i sleep with my head so full of wolcred this is unfair truly. almost 7am. how.#sorry just really can't stop thinking abt how thesa I'll never forget the look in thancred's eyes when their first met and how thancred saw#a very similar one once she said ily out loud for the first time. being sane and normal and not unwell at all#kelly says#dl#thesa/thancred#wol posting#x: together to the bitter end#(just for tagging/blacklist means)#<- just noticed i drafted this out of shame YOU KNOW WHAT.............. POSTING IT TODAY SORRY#i'm having thoughts about them i can stop I miss them I miss them I miss them I miss you writing wolcred save me save me etc etc#i really wrote that text post with my whole chest and drafted it at 7am. 🫵 shame on you prev kelly 🫵#posted today's vierapril with them well get this too. being annoying and making it everybody's problem today. have at it.
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cryolyst · 7 months
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#they speak!#ignore this#my coworker needs to move out and i can't tell if he was mostly joking or completely serious but he asked if i wanted to rent a place w him#and it's so tempting it's. so fucking tempting i want to move out so bad#and especially on days like today where i have to listen to my parents fail to communicate without getting loud and angry#like i feel so awful. i'm 22 and i still have to hide in my room and try not to cry. i can't live like this anymore.#and it feels so hopeless because what else can i do? fuck up my health even more by working more hours?#so i can afford renting a tiny place? when i'm already so unwell and struggling to take care of myself??#and i know i'm not at a place to cut my parents out of my life so i'd have to endure all the judgement they'll have about who i room with#and i know know know no matter who i room with there'll be judgement. because i can't even talk to friends casually without it lol#not to overshare on main but i was omw to work on friday and almost cried at the bus station#because i was thinking about how i never really had an adult in my life that really truly loved and nurtured me#like yeah i had teachers and later in my teens some community members that supported me and were positive influences with positive impacts#and as much as i am hurt by my parents they still very much cared for me and shaped me as a person. both for better and for worse.#and yeah be the adult that is there for yourself now and all that but.#i can never change the fact that there wasn't someone that was there. and i wish i could stop mourning but it's hard. it's so hard.#and one day it will get easier but for now i just have to endure it. i guess. hahaha. :)
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knifegremliin · 7 months
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you know it's kinda funny that lilo was meant to be a family dog, one we got because my mom wasn't doing well with the loss of our one dog. and when she took me to meet her, i was so apprehensive because i am Not a puppy person at all, and really did NOT want to do a puppy. but i gave in because that little puppy just gave it her ALL trying to convince me.
and now here we are, lilo being very obviously attached to me and me being so unbelievably attached to her (i will not admit this out loud).
something went wrong here (i love her so much)
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madamescarlette · 2 years
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Nothing makes me go !!!!! more than when someone who I would in all honesty believe has forgotten who I am remembers me and remembers me fondly!
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youssefguedira · 7 months
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i may not have considered guedira/lupin before now but there are. some sequences. in this season. that are so
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sherlock-is-ace · 1 year
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#midnight thoughts before going to bed (feel free to ignore)#but today i realized two major things about myself and my mental illness#1. i was reminded that when you have an anxiety disorder your body has a hard time telling the difference between anxiety and excitement#and suddenly my whole life made sense lol#the amount of times i didn't do something that i really wanted to do because it caused me MAJOR anxiety#and it was probably excitement actually but my body went into full fight or flight mode#and 2. i realized that my masking is actually causing me physical pain#like this is of course of i am actually autistic. i still feel like i can't say i am cause i have no right you know?#but objectively i'm like 98% sure i have autism#ANYWAYS masking is usually just forcing eye contact or not stiming in public (as much)#but today i realized that when i hear loud noises or too many at the same time my instinct is to cover my ears#but i don't because that's ''weird'' or will make people ask questions that i don't really know how to answer#so i don't cover my ears i just sit through it in actual pain and hope for the best#and the worst part of this is that when i say ''masking in public'' i mean in my own damn home#because of my mom and the fact that she doesn't believe i have issues#i think it's my fault tho i shouldn't have mentioned my self diagnosis while we were watcing the good doctor (and later attorney woo)#because those two are her only reference for what autism is/looks like and i'm not like that#i mean for the most part... the good doctor was the reason i realize i might be autistic#and woo's struggle with revolving doors hit a bit too close to my heart lol#but anyways...#i need to deal with my out of control anxiety#and i'm pretty sure i am autistic...#those are the conclusions of this post lol#angel talks#personal
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genderfluid-druid · 1 year
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Worked on a figure study for practice today that for some reason was just so difficult I almost made myself cry with frustration. Remembered that 1) anything worth doing is worth doing badly, 2) thinking your art doesn't look right is often a sign you're about to improve a level, and 3) it's just practice anyway!!
And then this evening I sat down and banged out three fanart sketches and felt a lot better about life.
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asiananeurysm · 1 year
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bataranqs · 2 years
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5 Happy Things
09/12/2022
1. Slushies
2. Flavoured drinks in general
3. Kissing people on the cheek and on the forehead and on the back of their hands and just the physical act that means I love you clear as day
4. Toes
5. Human beings loving each other and wanting to be with each other
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vadelmapoika · 2 years
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been doing pretty bad for the past few weeks
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