#I've got this one mostly planned

[v5hadow]

WIP Wednesday

So I haven't managed anything of what I've been intending to work on this week for progress at this point of the story(aka we aren't finishing the scene today...). Or more correctly I've only got a a small, small bit of what I want done on it.

Instead I'm posting the first section of a prequel bit that took most of my focus this week....

Futaba's Lost and Found Services

11/21/20XX

Futaba knew the longer she kept tapped into the phone the more likely she was to get caught in the metaphorical cookie jar. She pretty much had what she wanted almost from the start of the call. A name and a confirmation of actions taken. But something about Akechi’s tone… He sounded a bit hollow. Something, something, curiosity and cats, and between her and Morgana in her lap they probably had a full cat’s curiosity.

It was nice to hear that Akechi had no plans to immediately act against the rest of the team, even if he said nothing positive to say about them himself. A little surprising to be compared to cattle instead of sheep since how much more aggressive cows are. Generally a bit of surprise how little he was planning on going after them, as it may take months for them to be off lips enough to start targeting the teens visibly attached to the team. Him keeping an eye on them would likely be one of the most dangerous parts from now on but if he is being this loose Futaba was way less concerned.

Deaths were interesting to think about in an abstract way. Her and maybe Ryuji, would need to be the most cautious as they were not as public of figures. Her and Sojiro would likely be framed as a murder-suicide. Makoto would be difficult to justify until at least the next school year but pretty neutral after that. Yusuke was probably the easiest of their famous group, if he could frame it as a suicide, being a literal starving artist at times. Haru would have to wait one of the longest, as she is the largest shareholder of a major corporation that had her father die just last month. That was just last month. 

Akira’s death… wait. And the SIU director? Isn’t that too close? And why does that seem like the most amusement he’s had in all the conversation? He’s acting completely differently on these two deaths of targets. 

The SUI director from everything they could gather was likely in the know of the conspiracy. In fact the group couldn’t figure out a way he wasn’t like Kaboyakawa. So Akechi got to kill another member of the conspiracy and was happy about it. But he doesn’t seem nearly as happy to have done so to Akira. He shows some emotions about his targets still.

Akechi finished his call with Shido. She should be disconnecting but she felt an urge to listen a little more. See if he gets out of the building as smoothly as he hopes and that Akira isn’t caught in the first few minutes.

Futaba heard a few bangs from Akechi’s line as she set up all the preestablished audio on Akira’s cell phone for Niijima-san. In any other environment than the quiet hall she likely wouldn’t have heard Akechi’s whispered, “Why? Why?” There was one last, harsher than the others bangs but still soft enough to barely be heard. Even quieter, “No, not here. Can't break down here.”

She disconnected the tap but had it prepped to check on him again in a few hours. Now she needed to keep a monitor on Sae and Akira’s progress out of the facility.

When Futaba checked in on Akechi’s phone again, his location was listed as what she assumed was his apartment from previous assessments. One of the news reports about Akira’s capture played in the background. 

“Why couldn’t you figure out another way? How didn’t you find another way out? Why did it have to be you?” So many other what ifs and questions crossed his lips before the news broke with the suicide. 

With that news a slam and a curse quickly followed. Watery breathing, as if holding in the crying, was all that could be heard in the quiet transition from the news to jazz. She let the recording go for a few more seconds before closing and unwinding her bug for now.

The cat looked up to the hacker, starting, “Ora-”

Futaba quickly interrupted, “Don’t bring this up to Akira.”

“Huh? Why?”

Futaba stared at the audio files she’s recorded today. “If Akira ever crosses paths with Akechi again knowing he was, uh, upset? Might just mean Akechi succeeds on a second try.” She ended up dragging several out into another folder. Just in case.

#persona 5 #p5 #sakura futaba #akechi goro #morgana #An 11/21/20XX piece #phantom thieves #... #its technically acting as a prequel to Royal Strikers #Next section is where she talks pretty consistently with Mishima #and where this definitely becomes a Royal Strikers prequel #I've got this one mostly planned #its fairly short honestly #Futaba's Lost and Found Services #1/8? #I've got 8 dates selected but I'm only gonna post the first 2 before we get to a plot detail in the main story #So at the rate I'm going.... months from now #at minimum #not quite stream of consciousness #I call it a WIP but this only needs a few touch ups before its good to post

[omaano]

“Dank farrik!” Din shouts. “There’s a karking rancor in there!”

Boba is grinning like a kid. “Yes! And I haven’t named him yet. He imprinted on me. I spend so much time down here, you have no idea.”

The Return of the Mandalorian to the Book of Boba Fett by TranquilizedDropBear

If you ever thought "I love Boba Fett, I'd love to see him in his own damn show sometime" in regards to Ep 5 of TBOBF can I maybe very enthusiastically recommend you the above linked fic? Because it's lived rent free in my brain for months now and I've thought about it so much that as far as I'm concerned Boba was the one to fill in Din on the background lore about the fall of Mandalore and whatnot. Because we can all use a pair of maybe-Mandalorians bonding sitting on top of a rancor in our lives, no?

Also I had been dying to make this drawing for months now for @bobadinweek's AU bingo for my Canon Divergence slot.

#bobadin #bobadinaubingo #boba fett #din djarin #the mandalorian #the book of boba fett #tbobf #boba x din #my art #the mandalorian fanart #tbobf fanart #rancor #I'm 3/3 for adding a rancor to each of my bingo fills so far XD #I have massive plans for some of my other bingo slots #but with a bit of a reality check I'm desperately hoping for 2 more before the deadline #cross your fingers for me one of them is a Big One and has great chance of running away from me D: #I'VE DEVELOPED NEW APPRECIATION FOR BOBA'S ARMOR HERE!! #mostly because it's got a nice matte finish and isn't shiny and reflective as hell #am I using the same colour palettes for everything? yes #should I change that? probably but I'm comfortable with my burple shadows and red bouncelight thank you #should I have resized a few things before finishing everything up? probably... oh well lessons for another time #this is what I get for working zoomed in too much and not sitting up properly to check my angles

[lunarharp]

lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters

#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten* #i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead #what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that #i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate #truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do. #their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3 #i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever. #gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan #one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ?????????? #live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that? #without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ?? #without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive? #without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies #without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity? #without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years? #without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn #WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS??????????? #at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always #like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE #i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was... #Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about

[4tlas-hyper]

It's gonna be a fuckin while before I have any art or writting that's publishable, but if I don't share this AU sooner or later I will explode, so we're going to avoid that for now.

Lunar Eclipse AU

My answer to the question "what if the dream and nightmare realms never split?" which isn't entirely accurate because they still do split eventually, just way after we can safely assume they did in canon, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

(I'm putting the rest under the cut for your convenience)

So, does the dream and nightmare realms staying together longer mean that Grimm and the Radiance had a more functional relationship as siblings? Funny you should ask that, because hahaha, absolutely not!

The Radiance is incredibly abusive towards Grimm, treating him as a tool rather than as his own god with his own life. This backfires horribly, because her practically raising him surrounded on all sides by lies and manipulation only made him really good at lying and manipulating. That was the only reason he managed to create the troupe without drawing her suspicion that maybe the group of "puppets" he has aren't under as much strict control as she thinks they are("worship? meaningful connection? no, that's ridiculous"/s)

The main story of the AU revolves around Grimm's interactions with the Pale King. The Radiance orders Grimm to kill him and at first he's up for it, viewing it as an opportunity to prove his loyalty and to avoid getting on her bad side should be succeed. His plan is to earn the King's trust, get him alone, and then strike; his plan is to make him suffer all while stirring up trouble behind the scenes to secure her worship and drive the wyrm to desperation.

But...as he's spending time with the wyrm, he starts getting this odd feeling in his chest and throat. When his soon-to-be victim first drops the formalities and speaks to him as an equal, when he thanks Grimm for rescuing him from a (staged) assassination attempt, and when he kisses him on the cheek and Grimm reacts just how you might expect. He's able to explain these moments away to his sister by telling her he was acting as though he felt genuine connection and that he couldn't possibly be dumb enough to fall in love with the man he was told to kill...right?

And when the moment finally arrives, when the two of them are alone together and the wyrm has made himself more vulnerable than he ever had been before...

...Grimm hesitates.

#I've got the rest of the story mostly planned out but I like being a little shit and leaving people on cliffhangers #if you have any questions you're more than welcome to send me an ask(anons included) #i feel like interacting with people will help me find motivation to actually write the fic lmao #(i have started outlining it but only one scene has a draft written so far) #hollow knight #hollow knight au #lunar eclipse au #(that wasn't supposed to be the name but it stuck) #the radiance #troupe master grimm #(and NKG but they're the same person here) #the pale king #pale nightmare #familial abuse cw

[dredshirtroberts]

i have acquired a mystical and powerful ointment (hydrocortisone cream) from the village herbalist (rite aid) to assist with the curse set upon my bloodline from many generations ago (eczema)

#feel free to reblog #ironically this is the one thing i know the least about and it's the one i've known about for sure for the longest #never seen a doctor for it (everything online says you probably should) because my parents never took me #they told me that's what it was because that's what my dad had and it looked close enough #they also said i'd grow out of it like my dad did (just as he was growing back into it hmmmmm) #so i'm not like shocked that this is cropped up again i'm mostly like. annoyed? and sad. #i'm annoyed because like - they treated it so casually it was a non issue #get some anti-itch cream moisturize etc #and be quiet about it until it goes away #so it came back every now and then and i stopped telling them i was getting flare ups i'd just get into dad's cortizone and put some on #until it went away #there was never like a plan or a regimine in place for how to deal with it #dad's whole routine was preventative (lots and lots of baby oil) with the steroid cream you pick up at the pharmacy if there was a flare #and i didn't even know when he'd get a flare because it never got brought up - so i didn't know to look for patterns or anything #and now it's hitting me and has been for probably longer than i realized and i'm just like #*how do i take care of this???* *why is it not going away???* #and like yes i absolutely should also still see a doctor about it just to like. Fucking get shit in my records #jesus christ the realization that eczema isn't even probably in my medical records fucking hell #IT'S IMPORTANT BECAUSE IT'S AN IMMUNE RESPONSE AND DOCTORS PROBABLY NEED TO KNOW I'VE GOT A FUCKY IMMUNE SYSTEM IF THAT'S A THING #LIKE CHRIST IN HEAVEN MOM AND DAD A TRIP TO THE DOCTOR IS LIKE NORMAL FOR SMALL CHILDREN #FOR FUCKS SAKE WHY DID I NEVER SEE A DOCTOR AS A CHILD FUCKING MARY MOTHER OF GOD MA WHAT THE FUCK

[mikelogan]

Mike Logan + bangs

#law & order #law and order #law and order og #mygif #logif #mike logan #michael logan #mikeloganedit #lawandorderedit #userdundun #chris noth #listen. there are so many more where these came from #i was just trying for ones with only/mostly only mikey #i've got Big Plans #mike + bangs

[purple-is-great]

Also this week i gotta figure out what the hell you wear to a christening (and figure out how masc i can go without causing chaos)

(I'm not against causing chaos i just think maybe my cousin might appreciate me causing chaos some other time than at her baby's christening)

#i mean it's mostly ''if i wear slacks and a blazer will my grandma get confused and ask who that boy is'' #hmm or okay i'm gonna wear my brown slacks because i refuse to wear jeans to any nice event #and the black ones are a bit too somber #or well i've got the light grey ones #but slacks yes #i've got a brown women's blazer that looks pretty nice #but the only two shirts that make sense with that are my white button-up and this sorta frilly women's blouse thing #i don't want to wear the frilly one #but i'm a bit worried that slacks/blazer/button-up read as a statement rather than a continuation of me being sort of ambiguously masculine #but not clearly enough that anyone dares to ask about it #because i would prefer to come out with a plan and not because someone asks if i'm going to be bringing a girlfriend to family gatherings #or okay my relatives are probably polite enough to not ask that #but are they polite enough to not gossip about it? we do love our gossip #i mean i'm overthinking this #no one cares and honestly the bigger issue is i do not know how formal i should go

[llumimoon]

👀 (any dndads au you feel like sharing, lovebird! hope you're having a wonderful day btw 💜💜💜)

Hehehehe HIII HAPPI <3 I am having a wonderful day tysm!! :D I hope you are too <3

I'm trying to think abt if I have any aus that you don't already know about BWCEUAHAHAAH and im not sure how much you know abt the most recent one I've made

OOOH I have got this one fantasy AU I haven't touched in a while but I think would be really fun to revisit sometime! <3

The idea is that there's this ancient curse that's been unleashed on the land creating this magic rot that's slowly been devouring forests, towns, and eventually maybe even whole kingdoms! The rot can overtake animals and people, warping them into dangerous mirrors of their past self, this AU's take on doodlerization. the sauce if you will <3

Taylor is a member of the royal court of the Kingdom of Hell (son of the first prince Nick) and Link is his loyal guard and bestie who keeps him from dying in their shenanigans and escapades. They have a silly goofy, I've known you my whole life and I will die to protect you bc you're the person dearest to me also ur a dumbass who's stupid as fuck, energy going on <3 friends to dumbasses to lovers <3

Normal is a regular villager who recently happened to score an apprenticeship with the castle healer! Apparently his dad knew someone in the court and managed to pull some strings, wonder what that's all about. (spoiler alert: its pretty important and he's also secretly royalty but doesn't know it)

Scary is an amateur witch <3 She saw her mom start dating the castle wizard and was like FUCK THAT GUY AND HIS STUFFY BOOKS. BET I COULD DO THAT BUT BETTER AND COOLER AND LESS NERDY. So she's been sneaking off to practice magic with rudimentary materials and a few nicked things Terry left around their cottage.

Turns out Scary has a natural talent for certain parts of magic because she accidentally stumbles upon a prophecy outlining the world's possible end unless a certain group of people go to the ruins of a lost kingdom to stop the rot. And when she finds out who those people are she's like FUUUUUCK. bc now she's gotta find a way to sneak into the castle to somehow find these losers, one of which is apparently a PRINCE !! and then they've all gotta go out and not die on an adventure or else EVERYONE'S gonna die. and like she can't be bothered but also ig it would be kind of cool to shove it in her stepdad's face that she's more awesome than him and saved the world so. off she goes!

Hermie's the second prince who is often overshadowed by his older half brother. He happens to overhear the group talk about the prophecy around the time they're preparing to leave and tags along to prove his worth to his dads and also have people pay attention for him for once goddamn !!!!! also the healer boy is kinda cute <3

Cue super fun goofy and exciting magical fantasy quest !!! Secrets are revealed! Bonds are formed! Possible corruption? MAYHAPS! Also where even ARE the ruins of the kingdom of Oakvale no one seems to have heard of it at all! All while the rot continues to spread....

#ask #happi-tree #cal rambles #dndads #hehehehe thank you so much for indulging me <3333 #i know i took a little bit to respond sorry abt that <- i tried thinking abt aus to talk abt then i fell asleep and had to do hw #you know all my big ones already n lately ive mostly been scheming w/ nyx abt aus so im hesitant to call them my own without mentioning them #so my brain blanked i was like Uh. UH. HEVEGAJAHAHAJA #there are some little fun ideas i plan on elaborating on later i think!! havent told anyone abt em yet so hehe they're some fun bonuses #angel n demon au !! link's an angel taylor's a demon #i was thinking scary could be a fallen angel its just been normal i've been stuck on LMAO #bc i've been thinking abt how fun it is with how link and taylor have p clear angel demon imagery to me #while scary and normal feel more... in between? like yin yang type not all good not all bad #thought it could be fun to play with the idea of. Scary very recently fell as an angel due to Willy's influence #versus Normal who comes from a family of fallen angels ('corrupted' by the Doodler) but is trying to redeem himself and his family as well #with a storyline playing with the concept or morality and clearly defining good and bad with angels and demons #good omens style LMAO <3 Link and Taylor as an angel and demon DO remind me of Crowley and Aziraphale #Demon who's got a little too good of a heart to be evil and an Angel who's a little too much of a bastard to be purely good #ALSO been playing around with the idea of a fae au teheheehe #anyways rhat angel demon one really got away from me LMAO #its been a passing thought these past few days but i havent thought up like an actual plot line just alignments #so i havent mentioned it #WILL GET TO THE OTHER AU ASKS BTW EJWBAHAHAH #im jusy a VERY wordy rambler so it may take some time </3 #long post #HELP almost forgot that one #me n my walls of text <3

[tj-crochets]

I got absolutely zero crafting done today because I was busy trying not to panic about being under a tornado watch (it's over with no tornadoes, all good now), playing Stardew Valley, and getting sidetracked by discussions about human teeth plushies here on tumblr, but crafting updates should hopefully resume tomorrow! I do have a baby blanket almost done I'll probably be able to finish tomorrow, I just haven't taken any progress pictures

#the person behind the yarn #I am like halfway through spring year 1 in stardew valley #and I think it's going well! I like fishing but am less fond of mining in game #but I've got a coop and a silo so far and have built enough hearts with villagers to start getting stuff in the mail #which is cool! I've mostly played Stardew Valley with the kidlet I used to babysit #and have been pretty much unable to build hearts with villagers or like...plan #it's a lot of fun playing stardew valley with him but it's a different kind of fun playing it by myself #and getting to play a little more strategically and hopefully actually complete the spring bundles in spring #just one more gold star turnip to go!

[sapphicautistic]

37 hours till my surgery starts

#I've made good progress on the chores i won't be able to do after #still have some tasks left but I'll hopefully at least get the urgent ones done tomorrow #and ive got a bag mostly packed in case i end up having to stay at the hospital longer than planned #updates on my boring life

[draconicace]

harry wanted to be a poet and kim's got a skill that is likened to the process of writing poetry. i am going to go rattle my bones off into the ocean.

#aiden's monologuing #ailbde #ailb #it's been a while since i've sunk my teeth this hard into something #i knew it would happen it's why i put off playing it. i knew it would change me irrevocably #that skill helps against the pale. it probably has something to do with kim's meticulous notes #they could've been something else. something better for them both. #harry also wanted to study the pale. #the alternate meetings... i can see them. completely different game if that had happened #not sad enough i suppose. not worn down to the nubs enough #as fun as meetcutes are they don't give enough to chew on for me. need something to shake around violently #i'm so curious about the pale. and how it intersects with building hope in a place that has lost it #there's this whole metaphysical layer to the game's world that can be mostly ignored and that's. so much #and the warning that in 20 years it may all be gone. #but you have to keep living anyway. ghh #alright enough. reading and sleep time #oh one thing i got so mad when dolores said harry might take 20 years to move on. in 20 years he will be dead if something doesn't intervene #in 20 years the city will be gone if something doesn't intervene #i'm not putting my eggs in the pryce basket but i am curious what his plan is. if it's inevitable. #if a sequel would be with him or against him. or something else entirely. and what that would ultimately mean

[altruistic-meme]

yall wish me luck in convincing my parents to assist me in getting a different car bc im going to need it. very bad.

#my parents aren't poor but they ARE cheap and I've been driving a death trap for 4 years #smth breaks every fucking other month and bc is a vw it costs 3-4 times as much to fix #I've had this car 4 years it has had 1 oil change and its 5 months overdue for another one #it's had oil problems since i fucking got it in so fucking tired of this car #i still have to pay my parents back for this car btw. so i currently already owe them money #HOWEVER i would MUCH rather owe them money than owe anyone else money bc at just they don't charge interest #it's just about convincing them to let me borrow more when i haven't begun to pay off the first one :') #but I've got. a little of a plan. mostly just that i can take the money i would be using to fix the still broken window #and anything i can get for trading the car in or what have you #and using that as a starting for paying them back #so #anyway this is too much info I'm tired and ranting and i don't want to have the conversation with them so I've been procrastinating it all #all week. and i probably still will. bc im sleepy and so not calling now and unless i gave tomorrow night off #i won't feel up to it until I'm not working so #but still wish me luck ;;;;; #shh ac

[vamptastic]

Cornel West is slightly batshit but I have read a couple of his books and his stated policy goals seem by and large good. Not sure why he's not really seen as a viable candidate by the leftists on here compared to de la Cruz, but then again he's probably changed since the books he published in the 90s. Maybe it's just the Christian stuff, but it doesn't seem to actually be a visible part of his campaign from what I can tell. Can't tell if people think he's too Marxist or not Marxist enough

#But again. Mostly familiar through a book written in 1995 and like. His website #So perhaps there's something I'm missing from people that have followed his career for longer than I've been alive #Idk. He strikes me as a very articulate man which I think goes a long way towards winning an election #And he's got more mainstream attention & support compared to De la Cruz #Also seems more uh. Realistic in his long and short term plans than her #Like in terms of what one can achieve in four years without a herd of right wingers tarring and feathering oneself #But I am rather biased because I've been familar with him for a while and only just heard of de la Cruz

[bowithoutadaemon]

Woke up feeling like crap so I am ditching uni. Eventhough both courses today are cool.

So now I'm getting ready to go on a mission to find pants that fit me (challenging) in a cut I like (extra challenging) that are not jeans (getting real hard) made of a fabric that isn't gonna rip the first time I move (getting impossible) that are not fucking beige (lol get fucked). ...

All the while resisting the urge to buy a speedweve mending loom and a bazillion colors of thread. Not even to fix pants, nah, to add patches to my project sweater or some of my bags.

#The sweater is like nearly 20 years old and basically all seams have ripped and the fabric has disintegrated in some parts #And like 2 years ago I started mending it with no knowledge or plan. Just me and time and needed and cheap thread in various colors #Over time I'm slowly learning that all the stuff I've done on it that worked has actual names and is a proper mending thing #And well the stuff that didn't work I ripped off again but taught me stuff. Mostly stuff like don't sew the clothes you are wearing to what #You are working on. And don't lay a thing you will poke your needle in right on top of your tight because ouch #And your thumb is squishy & soft & is not an adequate tool to push a thin sewing needle through thick fabrics. Still don't got a thimble... #Uhm ... yeah. Pants should be my priority but I don't wanna mend them or buy them. But I need pants so I can leave my home #And rn I will need to wear pj pants or shorts... for one trip that will be fine but I need to find pants on that trip

[batemanofficial]

made SO much progress on my script so far today :^) almost done with what i think will be the most finicky film of my analysis section which is such a relief

#speak friend and enter #i'm gonna try and finish this film's section tonight and then do the others tomorrow since they're shorter #i'm gonna have to cut out a lot of what i had planned for the second film bc i can't get a ton of footage from it (screencap blocked) #but that just makes the writing easier honestly. and the third film's section is mostly about production design and costume which is easy #and then comes the cultural context section which will also be easy bc i can just kinda pontificate and then it's done! good riddance #i'm technically supposed to have at least some footage by thursday and i do but it's not edited/in context yet but. eh what can you do #i'm gonna tell the prof i've been sick (which is true!) so i'm a little behind but i'm not at all concerned about my ability to shoot #i'm planning to do all that in one day and then use the entire month of november to edit #which will be plenty. although with as much of the script as i've gotten done it is nice not to be in 'oobh i got plany off time' mode

[inkskinned]

the thing about art is that it was always supposed to be about us, about the human-ness of us, the impossible and beautiful reality that we (for centuries) have stood still, transfixed by music. that we can close our eyes and cry about the same book passage; the events of which aren't real and never happened. theatre in shakespeare's time was as real as it is now; we all laugh at the same cue (pursued by bear), separated hundreds of years apart.

three years ago my housemates were jamming outdoors, just messing around with their instruments, mostly just making noise. our neighbors - shy, cautious, a little sheepish - sat down and started playing. i don't really know how it happened; i was somehow in charge of dancing, barefoot and laughing - but i looked up, and our yard was full of people. kids stacked on the shoulders of parents. old couples holding hands. someone had brought sidewalk chalk; our front walk became a riot of color. someone ran in with a flute and played the most astounding solo i've ever heard in my life, upright and wiggling, skipping as she did so. she only paused because the violin player was kicking his heels up and she was laughing too hard to continue.

two weeks ago my friend and i met in the basement of her apartment complex so she could work out a piece of choreography. we have a language barrier - i'm not as good at ASL as i'd like to be (i'm still learning!) so we communicate mostly through the notes app and this strange secret language of dancers - we have the same movement vocabulary. the two of us cracking jokes at each other, giggling. there were kids in the basement too, who had been playing soccer until we took up the far corner of the room. one by one they made their slow way over like feral cats - they laid down, belly-flat against the floor, just watching. my friend and i were not in tutus - we were in slouchy shirts and leggings and socks. nothing fancy. but when i asked the kids would you like to dance too? they were immediately on their feet and spinning. i love when people dance with abandon, the wild and leggy fervor of childhood. i think it is gorgeous.

their adults showed up eventually, and a few of them said hey, let's not bother the nice ladies. but they weren't bothering us, they were just having fun - so. a few of the adults started dancing awkwardly along, and then most of the adults. someone brought down a better sound system. someone opened a watermelon and started handing out slices. it was 8 PM on a tuesday and nothing about that day was particularly special; we might as well party.

one time i hosted a free "paint along party" and about 20 adults worked quietly while i taught them how to paint nessie. one time i taught community dance classes and so many people showed up we had to move the whole thing outside. we used chairs and coatracks to balance. one time i showed up to a random band playing in a random location, and the whole thing got packed so quickly we had to open every door and window in the place.

i don't think i can tell you how much people want to be making art and engaging with art. they want to, desperately. so many people would be stunning artists, but they are lied to and told from a very young age that art only matters if it is planned, purposeful, beautiful. that if you have an idea, you need to be able to express it perfectly. this is not true. you don't get only 1 chance to communicate. you can spend a lifetime trying to display exactly 1 thing you can never quite language. you can just express the "!!??!!!"-ing-ness of being alive; that is something none of us really have a full grasp on creating. and even when we can't make what we want - god, it feels fucking good to try. and even just enjoying other artists - art inherently rewards the act of participating.

i wasn't raised wealthy. whenever i make a post about art, someone inevitably says something along the lines of well some of us aren't that lucky. i am not lucky; i am dedicated. i have a chronic condition, my hands are constantly in pain. i am not neurotypical, nor was i raised safe. i worked 5-7 jobs while some of these memories happened. i chose art because it mattered to me more than anything on this fucking planet - i would work 80 hours a week just so i could afford to write in 3 of them.

and i am still telling you - if you are called to make art, you are called to the part of you that is human. you do not have to be good at it. you do not have to have enormous amounts of privilege. you can just... give yourself permission. you can just say i'm going to make something now and then - go out and make it. raquel it won't be good though that is okay, i don't make good things every time either. besides. who decides what good even is?

you weren't called to make something because you wanted it to be good, you were called to make something because it is a basic instinct. you were taught to judge its worth and over-value perfection. you are doing something impossible. a god's ability: from nothing springs creation.

a few months ago i found a piece of sidewalk chalk and started drawing. within an hour i had somehow collected a small classroom of young children. their adults often brought their own chalk. i looked up and about fifteen families had joined me from around the block. we drew scrangly unicorns and messed up flowers and one girl asked me to draw charizard. i am not good at drawing. i basically drew an orb with wings. you would have thought i drew her the mona lisa. she dragged her mother over and pointed and said look! look what she drew for me and, in the moment, i admit i flinched (sorry, i don't -). but the mother just grinned at me. he's beautiful. and then she sat down and started drawing.

someone took a picture of it. it was in the local newspaper. the summary underneath said joyful and spontaneous artwork from local artists springs up in public gallery. in the picture, a little girl covered in chalk dust has her head thrown back, delighted. laughing.

#writeblr #warm up #this is longer than i wanted i really considered removing that part about myself and what i went thru #but i think it really fucking bothers me that EVERY time i talk about being an artist #ppl assume i just like. had the skill and ability to drop everything and pay for grad school. #like sir i grew up poor. my house wasn't a safe space. i gave up a FREE RIDE TO LAW SCHOOL. for THIS. bc i chose it. #was it fucking hard? was i choosing the hard thing?? yes. #but we need to stop seeing artists as lazy layabouts that can ''afford'' to just ''sit around and create'' #when MANY - if not MOST - of us are NOT like that. we have to work our fucking ASSES off. hard work. long and hard work #part of valuing artists is recognizing the amount we sacrifice to make our art. bc it doesn't just #like HAPPEN to us. also btw it rarely has anything to do with true talent. #speaking as someone with a chronic condition i hate when ppl are like u have it easy. like actively as i'm writing this my hands r #ACTIVELY hurting me. i haven't been posting bc my left hand was curled in a claw for the last week #this isn't fucking luck. after a certain point it's not even TALENT. it's dedication & sacrifice. #''u get to flounce around and do nothing with ur life'' is a narrative that is a direct result of capitalism #imagine if we said that about literally any other profession. #''oh so u give up 10 yrs of ur life to be a doctor? u sacrifice having a social life and u get SUPER in debt? #u need to work countless hours and it will often be thankless? well i wish i was that lucky'' #we should be applying that logic to landlords ONLY #''oh ur mom and dad gave u the money to buy a house? and all u did was paint it white and rent it? huh.''