#I've never had a friend who daydreams the way I do this is excellent!!

[bookwyrminspiration]

Response to an ask from Ophelia:

(this is the one about your paracosm!)

Before I even respond to the details this is just. The whole world sounds so cool I am already 100% invested in this and would read a book about this /gen. Please don't worry about being confusing or anything, I can always ask questions!! It lets me learn more about the world! And i don't think any of what you said is cringey at all nor would I say it is. Like I do the same things you're talking about I am right there with you!

I am very eagerly sitting in front of the whiteboard as you aggressively write on it. And no problem cutting it out! I know what you mean about it being personal--I've actually never told anyone anything about my own paracosm before because they (the characters) are very important to me and it's like they're a part of me, so it's very vulnerable

Dystopian fantasy/fantasy horror is such a fun genre!! Fun as in interesting. I love different takes on fantasy elements, like magic being bad. There's so much to look at and consider and ways things can be spun. Also the no religion thing makes sense; mine doesn't have a religion either.

Also!! Love the dollhouse comparison. I do the same thing but I've never thought of a word to describe or explain it. My paracosm doesn't have like one true "canon" series of events, it's got a mostly solid foundation/backstory, and then from there I just take the characters and put them in different situations. A few years ago I'd get annoyed with myself for diverging from the "canon" and being unable to decide what happened until I had the revelation that it's a fantasy story in my head and there doesn't need to be one storyline with a concrete ending. Contradictory divergences can exist at the same time and it doesn't matter, because I'm having fun with my characters! I can literally remember the moment i had the revelation it was excellent. The dream thing you mentioned sounds really interesting--what do you mean by interact? Are they just exchanging words or can they like visualize each other and it's like they're awake? Do they naturally reach out to each other or do they have to choose to interact? I would ask questions about who the person they reach out to is but I don't know anything to my question is just: who are they reaching out to? I'm very curious about all this

OO The Shell. I love that! Is there a reason for the name? Not asking because I think it's cringey, but because sometimes names have meanings that tell you more about the thing and I'm curious if that's the case with this one. I mean I can't judge you at all my character's house (which is also an entire universe/plane of existence? it's weird like that) they just call Mother. I don't even know where that name came from or why it stuck but it's there now. But back to The Shell! How did it get closed off from everything? Are there people who control that or is The Shell like...it's own ruler? I don't know if that made sense hang on. You know those stories with places that are like...alive but in an inanimate way? Like "the woods are alive and they're watching you and they know you" but it's not like capable of thought or speech but it's definitely not a normal forest. That otherworldy kinda thing, is that what The Shell is like? Did the person who created it like imbue magic into the place or is it more mechanical in nature and not like my living forest example?

Asterope! How is that pronounced? I wanna get it right. Right now I'm reading it as uh-stair-oh-pea, but no clue if that's right. Oo!! Lore!! I wonder why the person created The Shell, like what the motivation was. Wait what's the timeline for this (if there is one)? How many years after it's creation does the escape open up? Also have many questions about leaving in general. What does it mean to glitch out of The Shell and how common is it? This whole thing also makes it sound like The Shell is not a place you want to be--is that just because they've been taken from their homes/lives or is it because there's something about the place itself that's bad?

You say it was "originally" created to be a safe haven, but that implies that it might not be a safe haven anymore. I am so curious about this hang on. So Asterope finds miserable people who'd be willing to abandon their lives because it need consent to take them (I like that detail)--what kind of world/worlds does Asterope get people from? Is The Shell like an offset of our world and it comes into ours to take them there? Or is it taking people from completely fictitious worlds? Either way it's very interesting--I also love the detail about the glitch, coming back to the same person again and again. Must be wild for that person like "wow I'm so miserable this thing can't leave me alone."

I think it's ironic that you mentioned glitching a few times and now tumblr is glitching for you, but this is seriously super interesting I love dystopian fantasy horror things. Please tell me as much about this world and the characters as you would like to, and I may occasionally respond with a few details about my own paracosm. I said like one thing about it but that's still more than I've told anyone ever before (I'm not exaggerating). I'd love to learn about the intimidating being and her 15 orphans and the creator of The Shell and everything about the world!!

Also a blanket fort!!! Hell yea I haven't made one of those in forever!! Emotionally I'm helping you decorate the inside so it's comfy and cozy. Oo I have a lot of candles we could put in there, and I can bring my weighted blanket too!! Your ask wasn't annoying at all and I hope you're doing alright!! i love you too /p

#quil's queries #ophelia nonsie #colored text #I've never had a friend who daydreams the way I do this is excellent!! #your paracosm sounds incredible I'm so curious about it #also please don't feel like you need to answer every single question i asked! they're just the thoughts I had #so if you don't answer some of them that's entirely okay #I know I asked a lot in a row #i don't want to overwhelm you #long post

[mustardyellowsunshine]

In today's episode of Shut Up Robin, Nobody Cares:

InuKag bickering is so good because it's deeply telling of how comfortable InuYasha and Kagome are with each other at almost every stage of their relationship.

For starters, contrary to seemingly popular belief, arguing does not inherently signal dysfunction. It can sometimes signal the opposite: it demonstrates a level of intimacy and trust in your relationship that you are able to openly disagree with your loved one. You are not afraid of conflict because you know it won't break the relationship. In my experience, at least, it's shaky relationships that avoid conflict at all costs. When there's not enough emotional security with each other to openly disagree without fear/anxiety, open conflict never happens. That's why "arguing like an old married couple" is a cliché: it's the people who've built trust and security who will bicker like that.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it doesn't feel great to be in conflict with a loved one, even in a secure relationship. But being able to navigate conflict together in a way that eventually leads toward understanding and compromise is the sign of a strong relationship. Arguing is often a step in that process.

Which is why I find InuKag arguments absolutely, lip-smackingly delicious.

When they first meet, their arguments have the distinct flavor of, "I don't like you and I don't care what you think about me." Which is an excellent vintage tbh, full-bodied flavor with refreshing tartness. 👌👌 There's something so intrinsically entertaining about watching early-series InuKag butt heads, all the while knowing they eventually get married. And because early-series InuKag doesn't especially care about the other person's opinion of them, they don't hold back: there's no politeness barrier between them, there's no equivocating or filtering. They just have at it. They're not afraid to be themselves around each other, even when they dislike each other.

Then when their friendship begins to form—stage two InuKag 😁—their bond is forged from the two-pronged fire of 1) having each other's backs in life-or-death situations, and 2) experiencing the humdrum quotidian moments that come with traveling together all day, every day for long stretches of time. I've talked about this before, but I love how they know all the dumb little things about each other that you only learn from prolonged proximity: they know the timbre of each other's snores at night; they know how long the other can go without food before hangry-ness rears its head; they know which posture signals irritation or exhaustion, which facial expression signals daydreaming contemplation or a playful mood; they know which jokes will get a laugh and which insults will get the sharpest glances; the little intimacies abound!

By the friendship stage, InuKag bickering takes on a slightly different flavor. There's still that unfiltered, no-holds-barred vibe about them (because they're so used to being blunt with each other), but it also has the tenor of easy familiarity. Friends falling into the same low stakes argument they've had a hundred times already. There's not often any real heat or tension to the bickering, it's more like rote muscle memory. And when they do have real arguments, with real tension and emotional stakes?? It's delicious precisely because there are emotional stakes now! Goodbye, "I don't care what you think about me," hello, "I care so much what you think and I hate it and you're going to hear about it." It's still arguing InuKag, but with different emotional fuel sparking the arguments. Now there's affection and trust underpinning their unfiltered way with each other. It's mmm mmm good! I can eat it up all day.

And as the series progresses, and InuKag begin to develop obvious romantic interest in each other—stage three InuKag, yes it's terminal—the flavor of the arguments gets deeper because now those emotional stakes? They're even higher. And yet despite the higher stakes and the messy complications, they're still not afraid to butt heads. They're not afraid to be blunt and hash things out. I love this example of InuYasha's hack-and-slash style of conflict resolution. If there's a wall between him and resolving the tension, he'll just punch his way through it. 😂 Another favorite of mine is this banger scene where Kagome bluntly calls InuYasha out on his jealousy.

But probably my favorite stage three InuKag fight scene is this one, from chapter 310:

(Full scene here.)

Man, it's so good! Kagome—after taking pains to save Kikyo, who then essentially taunts her for it—starts to feel angry and resentful and then wallops InuYasha with those feelings. (Before any haters pipe in: characters need to make mistakes sometimes. This is one such occasion. Let the 15-year-old girl character make a mistake ffs.) And what does InuYasha do? He sticks around so they can hash it out. The best panels in this chapter are Kagome thinking, "He probably hates me now," only for her to look up and see him right beside her. He can handle her mistakes and flaws, because he knows Kagome. They've spent 300 chapters building trust in each other, and we see the fruit of that here. InuYasha knows very well that Kagome cares for him—cares so much that she's risked her life for him many times over by now, and cares so much that she just saved her own romantic rival partly for InuYasha's sake (but largely because she's just a good person). I think that's why he handles this moment with pretty good composure. He knows Kagome doesn't actually hate him, briefly hurtful as that comment surely was. So he waits until she's processed her feelings a bit more, and they talk it out. (While we're here: I really like that he's sitting close to her but is facing away from her, like he's trying to give her the space/privacy she needs to process her feelings without actually leaving her alone... ugh I love it.)

Notice how, even in the midst of this fight, they start checking in with each other, putting the other person's interest before their own. Kagome sincerely urges InuYasha not to "hold back," the subtext of which reads to me: "Don't let my outburst tie you down, please do what you need to do." InuYasha responds in kind (his subtext reads to me: "Be honest, don't just put on a brave face for me") and also reassures Kagome's underlying anxiety. When he says, "You saved Kikyo, right? Then she'll be fine, I'm not going after her," he's speaking directly to the source of Kagome's insecurity—he's telling her in no uncertain terms that concern for Kikyo's safety was his only motive for seeking her out. Now that he knows Kikyo has been healed and isn't in imminent danger, he's not going after her. Again, he is intentionally addressing what he knows to be the source of Kagome's outburst when he says, "You healed Kikyo? Then I don't need to see her." To me, his message is pretty clear: "I wasn't looking for Kikyo for the reasons you think."

Like! Look at them! Openly and honestly communicating! Messily sharing their feelings! Resolving conflict and talking shit out! They've come so far. 🥹

These stage three InuKag fights feel different than their early-series fights, and they should! InuKag have built trust and love, but with that love comes vulnerability. It's the people we love who have the power to hurt us most. So even while InuKag have fundamental trust in each other, they're both aware that their feelings come with greater potential to hurt each other. And watching them navigate that tension and that duality together? MMM MMM GOOD.

Like truly, InuKag fights at every stage of their relationship are my favorite thing, it's all such good food.

#this post is for my 14-year-old self who always loved InuKag fights but who didn't have the words or life experience to articulate why #now I've got way too many words for it 😂 #Inuyasha #InuKag #analysis

[hazard-and-friends]

good evening! i was wondering if you had any advice on How To Learn How To Own A Dog, or more generally How To Figure Out If I'd Enjoy Having A Dog. i'm starting to daydream about getting a dog in a few years but i've never lived with a dog and i would like to see what it's like before i Commit with a Living Creature. if someone asked me a similar question about cats (i've had cats my whole life) i'd maybe tell them to volunteer at a shelter or try to catsit for a friend, but i know the experience of keeping cats is VASTLY different from dogs. would you have any advice? how does one become a first-time dog owner without Fucking It Up?

You're going to fuck it up

I think this is the first point for any pet, that you're going to screw it up somehow, and if you can accept that and be okay with that, everything is much less stressful.

Would you enjoy having a dog?

There's a huge range in dog lifestyles.

I live with dogs where I do special feedings, take (one of) them for two 30+ minute walks a day, do daily training, prep food in advance, go to sports, go to group classes, plan weekly outings to take them new places, etc. Hazard in particular had me completely adjusting my work schedule to accommodate his needs.

I also have clients who--and their dogs' welfare needs are met--walk their dogs once or twice a week, if that, and the dog exists in the house and yard. Their time investment in the dog is about as extensive as owning a cat.

And if you get the right personality, they're not more needy than cats either--depends on the neediness of your cat.

There's a reason why toy/companion breeds are popular (or should be! should be very popular!!!!), and it's because they should be easy to live with. They want to hang out with you, they want to spend time with you, but (as adults) they're not naturally destructive, aggressive, high energy, etc. They may be higher maintenance because many of them have long or curly coats, but otherwise...they should be comparable to a spunky cat.

Similarly, depending on your region, a retired racing greyhound would be an excellent first dog. They tend to be neurotic in their own special ways, but they're also low maintenance, low energy (as long as you can provide a space for running once a day for 10 minutes or so), and a low need for stimulation/training.

How to trial it? Many shelters do fostering, but--at least in my experience--the dogs they are most desperate to get into foster homes are the ones least suitable to first time owners.

I would find a good friend with dogs and ask to hang with them for a day. Or dogsit for a weekend. Some dogs this is a huge imposition (Hazard has multiple pages of 12 pt font instructions), some dogs this is "feed him twice a day and let him into the backyard and try not to let him get eaten by eagles".

A thought experiment would be "how would you feel about owning a bengal cat?" Dogs aren't terribly extrinsically different from cats, except that they tend to be higher energy and need more novelty/stimulation on a regular basis.

In general biggest differences tend to be that we expect to walk dogs and do deliberate training with dogs. Not that cats don't benefit or need such things, and I've met cats where both were an absolute need. But we expect to walk our dog (and get upset if the dog, for various reasons, cannot be walked) and we expect to invest time/money/effort into training.

How's that for a non answer?

#asks for ts #smallblueandloud #also 3 weeks late i am VERY sorry

[wolfpants]

If you’re still doing the writing asks, I’d like to ask!

🌿how does creating make you feel?

I am, yes! Sorry for the slowness 😅 Thank you for the question 💖

This is going to sound so pathetic, but creating makes me feel like I'm worth something.

I've never felt like I've been great at anything (but not for lack of trying! and I do think that is the most important thing!) - I was a poor to average student (bad attention span, apparently spent too much time daydreaming about my special interests rather than focusing on things like maths and science and apparently the things that matter, according to my teachers), and all the hobbies/crafts I picked up over the years I'd start and then let go of before I could master them (I used to be really into art and drawing when I was younger, and I think I could have been good at it if I stuck it out for longer, I also used to play instruments but I never had the patience for learning them "properly", and did much better at self-teaching than being instructed).

Even when I started writing as a teenager I let my lack of focus get the better of me and I just didn't allow myself to see things through. And as I got older, I felt like I couldn't share anything I did (writing wise) with the world because it all felt a bit half done.

Then the pandemic happened.

I've always excelled at consuming. I was a film student, I watched films like it was my job (and for a while, it kind of was), listened to music like it was my job (same thing), read loads and loads of books and absolutely consumed every piece of queer lit I could get my hands on. Including fanfic.

When lockdown started I found myself with time, and with a narrowed focus. I read more fic and I got really into Wolfstar - after primarily being a Drarry reader - and decided I wanted to try writing something of my own and publishing it. I didn't expect it to go anywhere. I had the support of a best friend (who I happened to meet on Harry Potter livejournal back in the day and is now one of my closest friends) who encouraged me to keep going with it, so I did, and it gained a little traction, and the positive feedback on that encouraged me to keep going and the more I went the more joy I got out of creating and realising that - making my own stories, writing the fic I want to read, is a really joyous, fulfilling thing. And it finally allowed me to finish something and feel like yes, I achieved that, I did something exactly the way I want, I completed something on my own terms.

And the more I create, the less I feel a need to do it for anyone's approval other than my own, and that I've found is the secret to a rewarding, joyous creative output.

So, when I create, I feel purpose, within myself. I feel joy.

... sorry for the essay 😂

Anyway, if anyone else wants to hear my jumbled assortment of thoughts, go ahead! Fanfic writer ask game <3

#writing #wolf writes a thinky thought piece #ask #kittycargo

[searchingforserendipity25]

has anyone sent star-people for the wip titles asks yet?

Thank you @thalion71, @theworldisquietheretooquiet and @emyn-arnens for asking about Star-People!

This is a WIP I've talked about a bit on tumblr already, based on the idea that Amarie and Elenwe are the same people. Turgon/Elenwe/Finrod established relationship turned to widowhood/separation, with a focus on Elenwe post-reembodiment. It's been left a bit to the way-side, but I do intend to finish it eventually, even if it never becomes the gigantic thing it is in the vibes that dwell in my heart.

The reason this hasn't been a very serious operation is because the way I have ended up writing Elenwe, which is, it turns out, not very serious. I didn't expect her to be this irreverent! But she's an outsider to the royal drama, and part of it for her own connections and ambitions, far removed from the events of Beleriand and engrossed in her own psycho-sexual relationship with the Grinding Ice, so this draft has become the thing I write when feeling funny and forget about most of the time.

Have a wholesome romantic reunion (not very):

It was no surprise, of course. Some people were extroverted enough to keep politics afloat after slaughter, language-weregild and awful family feasting on opposite sides with a kingdom out of it; and some people took their ten thousand closest friends and hid away in a secret city without warning, which had ever been Turukáno's favourite daydream during excruciating holiday dinners. It was just as well she was dead by then, because she really had had no inclinations to move South of Araman's latitudinal equivalent point upon Beleriand. 

Elenwë got turned around for a bit, died for a few centuries, and naturally Túrukano went and built a hidden city to challenge and spite the Enemy and shelter their people.

"Typical," said she. "Oh, what an ass my husband is! A mountain city works no worse as a trap than as a safe. Well, he ought not to think he is getting this one over me, merely because of a short absense - I will have this island done decently."

“Will you,” said Finrod, not unpleaseantly. 

“Why,” said Elenwe, very unpleaseantly. “Do you mean to dispute for it, dearest? Point a few of your thatched roofs my way, perhaps?”

“They are very excellent material.”

“Do go on.” Elenwe of the riverside Vanyar, who had dwelled in her youth in floating islands of river-reeds built in the way of Cuivénnen, and had built her first house at twenty. 

They had been academic competitors before they were friends, and had remained competitors in the craft of raising buildings after they wed. It was not often that Noldor of the same craft joined their lives together, for a good reason; but that, they both agreed, was a matter for more foolhardy and reckless people. Competitiveness was something of a set feature, a foundational part of the material upon which their affection was raised, and so they had always liked it to be.

Tol Eressea was right there. Elenwë was very sorry about all the people she had murdered, to be sure, but not enough to feel any compunctions on building a city to rival Alqualonde for the market-power they had lost in isolosiotanism.

"Why are you like this," Finderáto asked, pretending quite badly he did not find her business acumen very charming.

#thank you folks! had a great time with these asks #i need to give this a plot #even if it's just elenwe vs public ordinance! #elenwe #finrod #turgon #asks and answers

[youaremy-dreamgirl]

Punch Drunk Love - Chapter III

Heartbreak

Pairing: Jinki x reader (and some brief Minho x reader)

Genre: angst

Word count: 1.7k

Summary: Jinki has some thoughts (and feelings!) about you and Minho being together

A/N: well this wrote itself and now I have a chaptered fic, something I've never thought I would do! Make sure to check chapters I and II of the Punch Drunk Love series to catch up on these three before diving into this mess lmao.

Series Masterlist -- Chapter I | Chapter II | Chapter III | Chapter IV | Chapter V | Chapter VI

-------------------------------- ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ --------------------------------

Jinki sighs as he closes the door to his room. He should have seen it coming, honestly; he knew Minho liked you and that something had happened between you two the other day, but he still wasn't prepared for this whole thing to be right on his face.

He chooses a song and turns up the volume right as he hears Minho's bedroom door close, taking a deep breath while doing so. He has no reason to be this upset -and he definitely wishes he wasn't-, but what was he supposed to do, when all he's ever wanted was what Minho was having right now?

He can't forget the after-party of his musical's opening night and that breaks his heart. The show was a success, so logically everyone was cheerful and happy, but the way you praised his performance had him feeling weirdly proud of himself, your words filling his heart like no one else's. He could blame it on the booze but really, deep down, he already knew he liked you, although he couldn't bring himself to make any move, afraid that you'd turn him down.

But the night went on and suddenly you were there, smiling at him and asking for the nth time to dance; he had turned you down every time, and every time you had pouted, but this time you laughed and stayed by his side. The place was so loud he could barely make out what you were saying, so you leaned closer to his ear, once again congratulating him on his excellent singing. He smiled shyly and turned his head to thank you, only to find you turned yours too and now your faces were incredibly close. You stared at each other for a moment, both your breaths stuck in your throats, but when he leaned in and kissed you he felt you tense up, so he took a step back and mumbled an apology, quickly leaving and getting lost in the crowd. He left the bar soon after, embarrassed, not sure he'll be able to face you again that night.

Talking to you the next day, you admitted you had drunk a lot and didn't really remember much about the previous night, so before doing anything stupid, he decided to let it go... although the memory of the kiss -of finally kissing you, even if it was under those circumstances- still lingered on his brain.

But the truth is, you've lied. You remember; god, you remember everything. The issue with bars is that alcohol plus dim lights plus loud music do not make a good match, because based on your recollection of the facts, it was you who leaned in for the kiss -not him-, only for him to break it and take a step back apologizing. You remember clearly how he disappeared and how you stood there, a sudden and poignant ache in the middle of your chest you didn't know how to handle.

To you, opening night was when you realized you liked him more than just a friend. Watching him singing about love and acting out a romance made you yearn for that kind of affection, but soon you realized it wasn't the abstract idea of love you craved, it was with him, specifically, that you wanted to experience it. You were surprised at your own thoughts, when did that happen? You couldn't deny his good looks even if he wasn't your type, and on top of that, he was one of the best friends you've ever had, so sweet and caring. You spent the whole play daydreaming, going back to every time you've interacted and picking your brain to see if he showed any signs of wanting something more than friendship (and if you've been too blind to see it). Was he just as nice to you as he was to everyone else, or was there something different about your relationship? You didn't have to wait long to get your answer though, him fleeting the bar after that fateful kiss was enough proof of how wrong you were.

So now here you both are, tangled in a complete misunderstanding that resulted in you forcing yourself to move on and having sex with non-other than his roommate while he is trying to drown any sound from the room next to his and stop the tears in the corner of his eyes from falling down.

It is just his luck to hear a moan from you right when one song faded and the next one was about to start, his jaw clenching and his eyes closing shut. It isn't fair, what does Minho have that he doesn't? You barely even know him. He turns around in his bed and covers his head with the bedspread, groaning, hoping the night would end already.

**

He wakes up and the first thing he hears is you giggling. Great, you spent the night. He considers feigning a cold or anything that would make him not leave his room, but he's too hungry to skip breakfast. Soft footsteps approach his door but they stop, and seconds later he gets a text from Minho. "Hyung are you awake? There's food"

He groans, sitting up on his bed and ruffling his hair. "I'll be there in a sec" he sends back, against his better judgment. He gets dressed and leaves his room, and the first thing he sees when he enters the kitchen is you sitting on the table.

"Hey Jinks" you greet him, looking up from your phone and flashing a sleepy smile "there's coffee over there" you signal behind your back with your head. You are dressed in Minho's clothes and he bets you even smell like him. Fucking great.

"Great, thanks" he mumbles, walking past you with his head hanging low. He gets a cup out of the cupboard and hears Minho entering the room while he's pouring his coffee.

"Morning hyung!" he yells, but lowers his voice before speaking again "Babe, I'm gonna shower real quick, ok?"

You hum in agreement and you kiss, or at least that's what he hears. He puts the cup down a little too forcefully and some hot coffee spills on his hand, making him curse out loud.

"Are you ok?" you ask

"Yeah yeah, spilled some coffee" he says, turning around to face you. Minho's gone and it's only the two of you now. His heart skips a beat and he realizes he definitely can't be in the same room as you, not when you are looking so radiant. He darts past you but you are quick to grab his wrist, making him stop.

"What's up with you?"

"What do you mean?"

"You've been avoiding me the whole week" you tug at his wrist to make him face you "You can't even look at me right now"

"I'm just tired" he lies

"Sure" you reply, scrunching your eyes. "Is this making you uncomfortable? Me being here?" you ask, and he can tell you are worried by the tone of your voice.

He takes a deep breath. He can't think of what to say without admitting his feelings for you, and the more he delays his answer, the more anxious he gets.

"It's ok, I'll leave" you spit out, collecting your phone from the table and getting up.

"I- I don't-" he sighs. Fuck, you're angry now. "I'm sorry I've been avoiding you"

"That's not what I asked, but ok" you take a couple of steps but stop, turning around "I thought you'd be happy for me. We are friends, and friends are supposed to be happy for each other"

"You're right"

"Then what's wrong?" you ask softly.

He can feel himself starting to shake, and closes his hands in fists to control it. You notice, and insist "Jinki, talk to me"

He hesitates for a moment, but finally speaks. "I can't be happy for you when I wish you'd be with me instead" he blurts out, looking down to avoid your eyes.

You open your mouth, a confused look on your face. It only lasts for a second before you let out an exasperated scoff.

"Really? Now you like me? When I'm dating someone else?"

He raises his eyebrows. "You are dating?"

"That- ugh, that's not the point, don't dodge the question"

"I've always liked you, Y/N" he sighs

"Yeah, right, you've always liked me, that's why you ran away that night after we kissed"

"You said-" he purses his lips, lowering his voice "you said you didn't remember!"

"Of course I remember, but what did you want me to say? You literally disappeared after I kissed you"

"YOU? You kissed me?" he whispers, pointing at his chest "I kissed you!"

"What? That's not how it happened!"

"What do you mean 'that's not how it happened?' I was there!"

"So was I!"

You look at each other with furrowed brows, dumbfounded. He pinches the bridge of his nose, letting out a breath before speaking again.

"Y/N, I kissed you but you... you froze" he shrugs "I said I was sorry and left because I didn't know what else to do... I thought you rejected me"

"That's... Jinki... that's not..."

He's getting dizzy and can feel his heart beating out of his chest, and by the look on your face, you must be feeling the same.

"Please tell me it's not too late" he begs

"Are you kidding me?" you whisper, pointing to the bathroom door, just when you both hear Minho stepping out of the shower "We can't do this right now. I can't-"

"I know. I'm sorry" he apologized, turning around and scurrying to his room.

You stand there, unable to do anything but stare at the empty space where he used to be, until Minho shows up, towel wrapped around his waist.

"Hey... everything ok? Where's Jinki?"

"He...uhm, he went to his room" you shrug

He nods, grabbing your hands; before he can say anything, you pull him closer and hug him tightly. He hugs you back, kissing the top of your head.

You look up at him, resting your chin on his chest "I have to go home now" you pout

He pouts back. "I know. Let me change and I'll drive you"

"Sure" you smile.

He kisses your cheek and leaves. You stand there, breathing deeply and biting your lip.

This is a fucking mess.

#shinee x reader #jinki x reader #onew x reader #minho x reader #shinee fanfic #jinki fanfic #onew fanfic #minho fanfic #shinee angst #jinki angst #onew angst #minho angst #shinee #jinki #onew #minho

[a-libra-writes]

Hey! Could you do these headcanons [💖,💐] for Jaime, or Tyrion? I've been in the GoT fandom “recently” (like a month or two ago?), and I don't see much of them; especially Tyrion (I don't know book-Tyrion yet 👀). I've been reading your blog for a while, and I really like your writings; I'm taking my time to read them again jsjsj. I understand if you don't want to, or doesn't catch your eye; I hope I'm not being rude or anything, but I wanted to try my luck. Please take care and be safe! <3

welcome to our cluuuub! welcome to our cluuuuuub! 

im glad youre enjoying GoT so much, and my blog! You should def give the books a try if you ever have a chance! Book Tyrion is rlly diff in many cool ways, same with Jaime. 

also i uh ... did the thing where i confused the emojis again, so I did “date” for both of them as well LOL oops

💘 Tyrion Date HC

Once Tyrion really starts liking you, he takes you to the loveliest places. We’re talking walks through gardens with little ponds and animals, a covered boat ride on a river, or walking through an exciting market full of Essosi traders. The thing is, he’d never call this “courting”. That makes it too official, too serious. He plays it off as simple visits two friends would make.

He’s excellent at finding out the things you’re interested in. You aren’t aware of it, but Tyrion really pays attention to what you respond to and what you like the most. I mean, he’s already watching you because he loves you, but if you aren’t vibing with an activity and location he’ll take that into consideration for next time.

He has lots of fun experiencing new things with you, period - after you’re together, after you’re married. If he finds out about something new, he’ll tell you so you both can do it together.

Tyrion prefers more private locations, since the court is exhausting and nearly all people he meets don’t like him anyway... but there’s something exciting about having such a pretty girl on his arm, someone who clearly adores him and wants to spend time with him.

Gifts! You tell him he doesn’t have to, but he likes presenting you with little things at the beginning or end of a date. First it’s practical things, so he can brush it off as “You seemed like you could use that”, before it’s just outright pretty jewels and dresses and he has no excuse. At that point it’s because he clearly loves you.

When it’s your name day, he has such a great evening planned out. If you’re married, make that a weekend or a week to travel and enjoy a little mini-vacation. Tyrion is excellent at planning an event in secret, so you have no idea what he has in store until the morning of your birthday.

In a modern AU, he’s not too different - he wants to explore new places and new things. He’d probably live in a city and would always find the strangest hole in the wall places to eat and shop at. If you like books, or records, or clothes, he’s gonna find something really out of the way and specific.

💖Tyrion Pregnancy HC

From the time you announced your pregnancy to the entire 9 months, it was like the worst emotional whiplash he’s ever had. There are SO many thoughts going through his head. Some of them are:

One, he’s delighted you want to have a family with him. Yes, you two are married, but it’s not out of duty to the Lannisters. It’s the ultimate proof you love him, he decides - because there’s a real chance your child could turn out like him, and you don’t care. And he knows you’ll love the child if that happens. He just knows you’ll be a wonderful mother. Second, you clearly express your joy to his family and the courtiers. You’re proud and you don’t care who knows. Third, he thinks about how horrid his own upbringing was, and he’s absolutely 100% determined to be an excellent father. Fourth ...

You get the point. He’s so torn between worry - what if the child is born with a problem, what if you die in childbed, what if he turns out to be a terrible father - and absolute, unbelievable devotion. You thought he was protective and doting before? Nothing is too good for you. You have to tell Tyrion to dial it back a bit, you don’t need new clothes every month and ten sets of silken bedsheets and all this jewelry....

He’s a bundle of nerves the closer the due date is. You two might actually get into spats because you’re exhausted and achey, and he’s just a mess. Jaime actually has to knock sense into him and get him to calm down.

But once your child is born...  it all washes away, like a wave carrying him. He’s so happy. He can’t even function. He wants the hold the child all the time, he wants to see them, talk to them - and he asks so many questions to you and the maester. When will the child talk? When will they walk? Can they understand him? Do they know he’s their father? And so on.

Also, his protectiveness would go through the roof. He would never forbid you from going anywhere or doing anything, but.. he would be obviously nervous if you mentioned you were going travelling or something. 

And it goes without saying he’s keeping extra tabs on Cersei, certain courtiers, maybe his own father. He doesn’t trust any of them for anything.

Bronn will probably get assigned to bodyguard duty for you. He’s clearly not pleased, and you just sigh and dismiss him for the day so you don’t have to listen to his smart mouth.

He likes to feel your stomach, especially when the babe kicks! It relieves his worries that the child might be born “wrong” somehow. The fact they’re kicking, wiggling and moving, seemingly in response to him, makes him feel much better.

💐 Tyrion Family & Kids HC

He’s an excellent father, even though he has his moments of emotional hang-ups. He wants to ensure his child is educated, empathetic and uses their damn head. While he’d be doting and affection, he wouldn’t be a total pushover and can reasonably discipline them. Tyrion is great at talking to children respectfully and treating them like people.

On that note, he has no patience for someone like Cersei or his father trying to butt in on his parenting. He’ll stand up to them and firmly insist he can raise his child on his own, thank you. He won’t take any “advice” or threats from them.

He’d be quite good at figuring out what his children are talented in, and encouraging them. He’s seen what it’s like when a child is forced into a single box and hinge all their worth on that (Jaime) and when they’re looked over and ignored (him and Cersei). 

Yes, he basically decides to do the opposite of whatever his father did.

There would be times when he’d want to educate his children himself, but only on certain subjects - reading and writing, for example. He trusts the maester just fine, he just wants to have that bonding opportunity with them. 

(He’s so proud of all of them no matter what though 😭)

If you’d be up for it, Tyrion would like several children. He’s not 100% on how many, since he’s never really given himself a chance to hope and daydream for a family. He knows he needs a son for the Lannister line to continue, but he’d never force you to continue risking your health for that. Ultimately, however many you want, that’s what he’ll be happy with. If it’s all girls, he’ll love them the same.

💘 Jaime Date HC

It’s actually amusing how bad he is at taking you somewhere interesting. It ends up being an accident - you run into him in a beautiful garden or some obscure part of the Red Keep, and he offers to show you something interesting he found. From there, you two get lost and take a while to find your way back.

... Or you take him somewhere you thought was interesting, and he goes along with it. When you point out that Jaime is pretty bad at this “courting” business, he just scoffs and says that’s definitely not what he’s doing. He’s just visiting with ... a friend ... .... just a friend. Yup.

Another aspect is the fact he’s a Whitecloak, and he might be having to avoid Cersei. That kind of makes things dicey.

However, when he returns from the Dreadfort and that absolute hell of a journey, he’s doesn’t care so much who sees you two. He wants to get away from the Red Keep, even if that’s his duty, so he starts wandering out with you. When Jaime is patrolling on his own and sees a place of interest, he makes a mental note to bring it up to you later. And when he does, and you offer to go with him ... Well, he won’t complain.

Since you two have been so many places, he starts to associate them with you. When he’ll pass by it on his own, he thinks about something you laughed at, or something you told him there. If you ever touched his hand or his face while you two visited a garden, he will remember that touch every single time he passes by. 

After you’ve known each other for a while, and he’s feeling sentimental, he’ll ask, “Do you remember those docks a mile away from the Red Keep? There was a man pushing a cart that had these colorful glasses and wares. You were wearing a blue dress, and when you dirtied it, I carried you around down the street?”

You have no idea where he’s talking about, but that’s the sort of road his memory lane is.

In the modern AU, he’s still pretty terrible at dates. He’s more of the type who wants to wander around with you and just pop into a place that seems interesting - and then he’ll associate you with it. Anytime he sees that cafe chain again, even in a different city, he remembers the hot cocoa you ordered and the little marshmallow mustache you gave yourself.

And honestly, he prefers to stay home with you, cuddling and watching something. He can be as bad as a needy cat when he wants cuddles and attention; you aren’t escaping anytime soon.

💖Jaime Pregnancy HC

Oh no.

Back when Jaime was a boy and lectured endlessly on the duties of a Lannister heir, he didn’t truly understand what that meant. Especially after Cersei coerced him into taking the white cloak, he figured he’d never have children of his own.

... Well. Then there was three. but they never felt like his, which was Cersei’s intention. It was so strange, even if they looked like him, he couldn’t connect Joffrey, Myrcella and Tommen to himself.

Also, look who his father is. That’s a lot to unpack.

It’s not until he’s completely left Cersei and lost his sword hand that he starts thinking and seeing things differently. It feels different when you play with the children, when you look longingly at mothers, when he’s intimate with you and you let him finish inside. He starts thinking what it’s like, and that’s scary, considering it never crossed his mind before.

And then he thinks about how his mother died, and what it did to his father. He never openly discusses it with you, but he has nightmares about it. Jaime doesn’t sleep well for a lot of your pregnancy, especially toward the last few months. He does a little better with each child. To distract himself, he takes care of you.

He likes the idea of having two children, a boy and girl, or two boys, but he’s fine with one or more than two. Anything more than four would probably overwhelm him.

Gods save the person who threatens you, even if it’s his sister. His protective instincts go into overdrive, to the point where someone being disrespectful to you on the street will make him want to fight.

💐 Jaime Family & Kids HC

When you tell him, honestly... his first thought is what an awful parent he’d be. He had one example for what a father is like, and he was hardly an influential part in the lives of the three children he sired. You’d have to reassure Jaime and give him confidence, because he has none where this is concerned. He’s positive he’ll screw it up somehow, he’ll be too distant, or too cruel. How do you even hold a baby? What do you say to little ones? He’s going to take care of you, there’s no question of that, but his nervousness is palpable. 

Still, he has such a cute smile when he holds his child - what he considers his first real one - and he right away sees you in them. Their nose, and smile, and eyes. It’s amazing, he decides.

Jaime is a terribly indulgent father. He tries to scold where he can, but more often than not he’s amused by his kid being mischievous. When they pull pranks on guests or get into fights with other kids, he’ll let them off easy if he felt like it was justified. If you’re the more disciplinary parent, the kids totally learn to go to Jaime when they want something.

He’s not overly physically affectionate, but he often ruffles their hair (even if they’re a girl with hair you just braided), gives them rides on his shoulders and lets them sit on his lap and fall asleep. He also has a habit of patting their cheeks or shoulders when he’s pleased.

Jaime didn’t think he’d be excited to teach swordplay and horseback, but he’s so happy when one of his kiddos is interested in both or either. Even if they’re a girl, he can’t help but teach her everything he knows. It also makes him feel better that he has something to teach and pass on even if he lost his sword hand.

Also ... he’s a terrifying papa lion. Do not ever even slightly threaten his children or wife in front of him. His temper and pride will flare and he’ll start a fight right there. 

Related to that, he can fight off Cersei’s cruelty and coldness to you and your children together because he knows how to deal with her. If Tywin disapproved of you in some way, or was trying to take control of how the children were reared, Jaime would genuinely struggle to stand up to him. He doesn’t want his kids to go through the childhood he had, but it’s difficult for him. He won’t go into full “fuck this” mode unless the children are seriously threatened. 

#libra headcanons #jaime lannister x reader #tyrion lannister x reader #got x reader #game of thrones x reader #i swear ive dorked up that date and pregnancy emoji like three times

[oneboxofmatches]

Hi!!! May I request a HP romantic and friendship matchup on both eras? (Preferably male), thanks in advance! 💞

𝗕𝗔𝗦𝗜𝗖𝗦 + 𝗔𝗣𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗡𝗖𝗘

19, Libra, Neutral Good, enneagram is 4w5, Ravenclaw, and my patronus spirit is swan. Bi Pan Genderfluid girl using pronouns of She/Her or He/Him. A friend of mine told me that I (kinda) look like Marinette from 𝗠𝗶𝗿𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗹𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗟𝗮𝗱𝘆𝗯𝘂𝗴, Musa from 𝗪𝗶𝗻𝘅 𝗖𝗹𝘂𝗯, and Alexandra Trese from 𝗧𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲 (a Netflix animated series), but the exception is I'm short (5'1.2") plus sized Southeast Asian woman with Spanish descent that has messy/wavy brunette medium hair, chocolate brown eyes, oriental skin and a small beauty mark on the forehead. My sense of fashion is in between emo and boyish plus korean glam.

𝗣𝗘𝗥𝗦𝗢𝗡𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗬

Distant and shy at first cause' I dunno how to initiate a conversation, but a total opposite if I open up---friendly, ambivert, witty, laughing loudly on a daily basis, talkative, awkward, daydreamer (I got embarrassed from knocking at the door even I'm inside the classroom 😂), EXTREMELY clumsy, secretly likes affection, easily overwhelmed, prone to melt over any wholesomeness, flusters on compliments, lightly blushes on cheesy banters, sarcastic person with a lowkey crackhead energy citing meme references, and talented girl who can be your no. 1 supporter and unashamed to be true to myself. In terms of leadership, I only educate and guide than being a prefect (I might take the role seriously), and will lift my group when there's lacking/incompleteness. About doing projects in school, I become too extra and prepared for efforts, but I'll forget the process in the end.

People thought I'm a demure self-effacing woman that looks "idealistic" or "one of a kind," (due to my protective parents, a reason why I've never been in a relationship) but the truth is, I'm eloquent, warm-hearted, willig to help, kind, intelligent, supportive, nice, creative, enthusiastic, determined, tough, competitive, and feisty outside, but a real softie that can be childish and dramatic crybaby filled with doubts, frustrations, and insecurities with fear of failure that pushes off the limits to to please everyone, yet I still managed to be stronger than ever, even it's a slow burn process. I can be intimidating, sassy, and a douchebag if I receive ends. Immature, headstrong, perfectionist, demanding, hesitant, jumpy, very indecisive, overthinker, quick-tempered, sensitive, and anxious (no joke, my nervousness makes me think worse scenario will arrive or I might break a belonging due to my carelessness). Though can be procrastinator and arrogant, I raised as a religious 𝖺𝗇𝖽 diplomatic person, willing to fight what I believe (including my dreams) 𝖺𝗇𝖽 what is right. In addition, I have a habit of staying up late and doing sign of the cross to ease nervousness.

Blunt but the loudest idiotic feeling-brokenhearted and bitter friend in the group who fangirl a lot, swears like sailor, will act like a silent backstabber on people that we loathe, will crack up over your stupid antics before helping, and bring gossips, but a hopeless romantic who tends to banter with sarcasms or pick up lines as an endearment (but gets grumpy if I received sappy or offensive one), still generous and concerned in a subtle way.

𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗕𝗜𝗘𝗦

My hobbies are singing, drawing, roleplaying, listening to music, chatting/browsing on social media, conceptualizing, writing, and reading some stuffs. 𝖨'𝗅𝗅 𝗂𝗇𝖼𝗅𝗎𝖽𝖾 making corniest jokes/puns, 𝗌𝗅𝖾𝖾𝗉𝗂𝗇𝗀, and dancing when nobody's around or walking like a model if I feel so bold (even I'm terrible at both xD).

𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Loves kittens, eating a lot, cartoons, watching YouTube videos (mostly pageants, ASMR, edit audios, and mukbangs), also enjoys playing games on my sister's PSP. Sucker for arts, choir, night sky, makeup, fun/deep/dumb conversations, Christianity, documentaries (about saints, real crime stories, and inspirational people), reading interesting stuffs, talking about social issues, and writings, chilling both indoors and outdoors. Beside that, my music taste are like late 90s-2000s songs (mostly rock, pop, and country) sometimes kpop and ppop, chocoholic, and a sweetooth as well.

𝗗𝗜𝗦𝗟𝗜𝗞𝗘𝗦

Things that I hate are stereotyping, HUGE creepy crawlies (spiders, toads, snakes, and cockroaches), firecracker sounds, being left out, loneliness, heart break, blackout, and judgemental people. One random fact about me is, I 𝗐𝗂𝗅𝗅 vent out EVERYTHING I despise in my entire existence---from bad soap operas to toxicity and worse scenarios in real life, because it's a big deal for me, and I consider forcing me to do what I'm not into and manipulating me as my major pet peeves.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗚𝗚𝗘𝗥𝗦

In terms of triggers...I only have two which are ta𝖨king about divorce/annullment/separation because I came from a generational broken family and religion/beliefs discrimination, cause' there are reasonings that doesn't makes sense because some are too hypocritical.

𝗧𝗥𝗜𝗩𝗜𝗔

My best assets are smile, eyes, personality, singing voice, artistic skills, writings, intelligence, and oratorical skills...so I can consider myself as a singer, artist, orator, and a top student who's a former active campus ministry member with three roles (choir leader, psalm singer, and reader). Currently an incoming college freshman, learning how to cook and have so many interests, to the point I don't know what I'm into because of my dreams to become a popular Filipino YouTuber, a novelist, and being part of a successful chorale competing internationally...I also consider joining pageants at school too once the pandemic ends, but maybe.

Thank you so, so much for requesting! I had a lot of fun with this one (as you can tell by some of the really long answers lol) and I hope you enjoy!!

In the Golden Trio era, I romantically pair you with…

CEDRIC DIGGORY

One of the most beautiful things about Cedric is that although he may show some introverted tendencies, he still manages to have a natural gift for connecting to others and allowing them to feel comfortable enough to open up. Really, your initial distance and shyness don't last nearly as long towards Cedric as they would with most other people.

Hearing your laughter brings the widest, cheesiest grin to Cedric’s face. Not only does he adore seeing you happy, but he also recognizes that your anxiety, insecurities, and strong emotions can sometimes cloud up your demeanor. Therefore, it brings him comfort knowing that (for the moment) you’re finding joy. He thrives when you thrive!

However, as much as he loves seeing your more energetic and happier self, it goes without saying that he’s the best comfort for when you’re not having the best day.

Cedric is an excellent listener, so he’ll most likely let you talk without interruption for as long as you need before even saying a word. He wants to make sure he truly understands your current state before acting. He may take a few seconds to process everything after you finish speaking, but then he’ll help you tackle whatever problems you’re facing. He’s especially talented at giving words of affirmation.

Cedric’s listening also comes in handy whenever you talk about your interests! He genuinely loves hearing about the things you’re interested in solely for the fact that you’re interested in them. Side note: you can count on him to be at any music performances, pageants, etc. you may have -- this guy is truly your #1 supporter.

Cedric’s a very good student (though I suspect he’s somewhat of a procrastinator himself), so I can also see you two supporting each other through schoolwork and celebrating each other’s successes.

Like you, Cedric has a strong urge to do the right thing. Talking to him about social issues stirs up a need to help, and I could see you two doing volunteer work together in your spare time.

I like to believe one of Cedric’s biggest love languages is quality time. Don’t get me wrong, this guy loves staying involved and busy. But taking a couple hours to be with you in small ways (even if that means just being in the same room while you scroll through social media) gives him a nice balance.

Overall, this kind boy will be there unwaveringly through the bad times and will laugh just as loud as you through the good!

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LUNA LOVEGOOD

You wanna talk about the best conversations, relentless support, and overall the most wholesome friendship you could ask for? Luna’s your girl.

Being unashamed to be true to yourself is one of the biggest reasons why Luna is so drawn to you. While she’s very friendly and insightful towards everyone she meets, it can get a bit repetitive for her to constantly interact with people who try to shelter their unique characteristics from the world. In her mind, these unique characteristics are what make people so fascinating! Why should anyone hide who they are?

Luna’s creativity is endless, and I can see it blending well with yours. Collaborating on a personal project outside of school (ex: novel, blog, etc.) together is definitely something I could see you two doing.

Speaking of creativity, finding creative solutions to everyday problems (both in school and in life) is your specialty as friends.

Admittedly, Luna isn’t usually drawn to louder individuals. However, the complexity behind your personality makes it easier for her to know you are much more than what meets the eye.

Speaking of, Luna has a difficult time standing up for herself -- whether it’s because she doesn’t feel a need to or she just doesn’t recognize the meaning behind certain phrases. She NEEDS a friend like you to stand up for her sometimes, and I know you wouldn’t hesitate!

Ranting to Luna is therapeutic to say the least. While her aloofness at times may make it seem as if she isn’t fully paying attention, that couldn’t be further from the truth. She’s actually catching every word, and once you’re done she’ll leave you with a philosophical solution that may seem borderline insane/irrelevant when you first hear it, but it strangely makes sense.

Overall, the lack of judgment from either of you is what draws you together. As a result, you build a unique bond that couldn’t be broken even if either of you wanted it to.

In the Marauders era, I romantically pair you with…

REMUS LUPIN

Let’s be honest, it would take you two so long to ask each other out. You were probably already really close friends, but the insecurities and “what if?” questions from both of you delayed an actual relationship.

When you finally started dating, you were both so relieved. You still share a laugh at how almost nothing changed in the way you interacted with each other.

While with mutual friends, Remus sometimes likes to sit back and just watch you, especially when you get really talkative because this is when you become the most expressive. He has the softest smile when you’re actively cracking jokes, discussing something you’re passionate about, or even calling someone out. Sometimes you may be too distracted to notice, but other times you’ll catch him.

“What?”

“Oh, nothing.” (While that same soft smile never leaves his face.)

You both hold really high standards for yourself in terms of school, so expect late-night study/work sessions to be your best bet for quality time.

Though the occasional instance of walking through/lying on the grounds becomes a favorite for both of you.

Remus listens when you’re particularly struggling through anxiety or strong emotions, but he has to consciously stop himself from interrupting because he can’t stand how he feels knowing you’re going through a tough time.

All he wants to do is soothe you during these moments. If you’re comfortable, he’ll hold you while speaking to you in a soft voice. Remus, the intellectual that he is, is also your best chance at finding a reasonable solution. So if you're not in the mood for calming words, he's also a great person to turn to for answers.

As for your ambitions, no matter what you choose to pursue, you already know Remus is going to be your biggest source of support every step of the way. He’s more than happy to help in any way he can!

Overall, Remus appreciates you, and he’s always going to make sure you know it.

As a friend, I think you’d best be matched with…

LILY EVANS

Lily especially connects to you because you manage to be determined, competitive, and intelligent without sacrificing your kindness, which is something she can relate to.

You and Lily are the C.E.O.s of doing the right thing. Neither of you hesitates to back the other up when it comes to confronting someone because you know it’s justified.

As perceptive as Lily is, you never need to tell her when something is bothering you. All it takes is a quick glance before she puts whatever she’s doing on hold to check in with you.

The reverse works as well. Typically, Lily really doesn’t internally struggle too much, and when she does she tries to hide it. You’re one of the only people who can see right through whatever she tries to pull.

The constant banter between you two is unmatched, but you both know it's because you really care about each other.

Overall, you and Lily have each other’s backs through anything, even when the other isn’t actively asking for help.

#matchups #fandom matchups #harry potter matchup #harry potter #cedric diggory #luna lovegood #remus lupin #lily evans #lily potter

[fangirl-ramblings]

Their First Time [18+]

📷 Picture by @the-neigh-sayer 

Pairing: John Marston x Lilly Mae James ( @lilly-and-alice  )

Summary: Lilly has been running with the Van der Linde Gang for a while. During that time, her relationship with John has been hard to define. Practically the same age as each other, a rocky friendship of sorts has developed between them; which has not been helped by John's seeming indifference towards her in the beginning.

That all changed a few nights previously when John took the opportunity to kiss Lilly

Notes: Self indulgent Smut [NSFW - 18+] | (Barely) Friends to Lovers | First Time | The opposite of a slow burn fic | Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am | Pre-Canon | Pre- John x Abigail 

I'm gifting this story my wonderful friend, the lovely @gangofgunslingers​ for her birthday as a huge thank you for being one of John x Lilly's biggest fans and constantly inspiring & motivating me (and wanting to kick my ass) to try finish all my stories. (But most importantly - it’s because ilysm and I hope you have a wonderful day 😘😘😘)

Also huge thank you to @sad-sweet-cowboah​ & @verai-marcel​ who took the time beta read this story and give me some excellent advice.

Requested tags: @amina-celestial​ & @cupofhana (If you also want to be tagged in anything I write, or no longer want to be tagged, just send me a message)

Unrequested tags: For my remaining John hoes @theunholyoutlaw @the-neigh-sayer & @redeadepression (because we need more John content in our lives - even if it is my poor attempt at something)

~* Tumblr Masterlist | Stories on AO3 *~

     “Hey sugar, you look like you’re having a fine old time tonight.”

     “Why thank you, kind sir,” Lilly slurred, smiling at the stranger who spoke to her. “I am having a fine old time tonight! For, indeed, it is my birthday and I am celebrating with my friend!” She gestured wildly to where she last saw John, who had been talking to the barkeeper. A look of confusion crossed her face as she struggled to find him in the sea of people that had suddenly developed around the bar.

     “Well a very happy birthday to you Miss, but it looks like your so-called 'friend' has upped and left you.” The stranger leaned in, whispering in her ear, as he placed a firm hand on her backside. “How about we go someplace private and celebrate together instead?”

Looking down towards his hand, it took a few seconds for Lilly to realise what the man was implying to her. “Erm, no thank you,” she replied, grabbing the man’s wrist and removing it from her person, before looking around the packed saloon, yelling "Marston? Where you at, you damned fool?"

While she was distracted, she felt a sharp tug at her own wrist. The man had grabbed hold and was now pulling her towards the door. “Oh, I wasn’t asking sweetheart, now move yourself!” he barked at her.

Anger spiked immediately and Lilly was quick to attempt to remove herself from the situation. She swiftly grabbed an empty beer bottle from a nearby table and raised it high. However, before she had a chance to smash it over the man's head, she felt another arm wrap tightly around her waist, pulling her from her pursuer’s grasp. 

“Hey! You got a problem with my lady?” A raspy voice asked, appearing from seemingly nowhere. Lilly glanced at the familiar face that was now beside her, pulling her ever closer to him.

     “Your lady?” Both Lilly and her antagoniser questioned, looking John up and down.

     “As if she'd even look twice at you, ya greasy streak of piss. You can’t be much older than 18, if that!” The older man snarled as he cast his eye over young Marston, who now had his hand upon the revolver resting in his gun belt.  “No,  what she really needs is a real man, not a jumped up little boy who thinks he’s playin’ Cowboys & Injuns.”

Lilly closed her eyes, envisioning John's anger over those comments. She waited for the quick firing of bullets she knew he was capable of. However, she was surprised to hear nothing but silence. As she tentatively reopened her eyes, she looked down to find both of John’s hands firmly on her waist, pulling her against him, before gently placing his lips against hers in such a tender way that she didn't realise John Marston was actually capable of.

Not knowing whether it was the drink or the kiss that was making her feel intoxicated, she allowed herself to reply by allowing the tip of her tongue to brush against his whiskey stained lips, practically insisting that he should let her in.

The kiss itself was over within seconds, but it seemed to the pair of them that time had stood still, igniting something deep in both of them, something they had tried so hard to previously ignore and now would change their friendship forever.

Breaking away from each other to catch their breath, Lilly and John placed their foreheads against each other's. They took a brief moment to stare into each other's eyes, attempting to make sense of what was happening between them.

     "Thanks for saving me,” she breathlessly whispered, noticing out the corner of her eye that the man had moved to the other side of the bar to try his luck with some other poor, unsuspecting girl. “But did you really need to kiss me to prove a point?”

     “It was either that or shoot him, and Dutch did ask us to stay outta trouble, so...” he replied, with a smirk plastered on his face, his hands still holding onto her hips. “Anyways, did you need to try and stick your tongue down my throat?” 

Not knowing whether she was caught up in the moment, felt embarrassed by his comment, or just flushed from the effects of the alcohol, Lilly found herself breaking away from the embrace and headed towards the door. "I think...I think I need some fresh air."

***

Lilly stumbled through the swinging doors, stopping for a moment to breathe in and savour the freshness of the night air. Taking a deep breath, she made her way down the small dirt path at the side of the saloon. Placing her back against the wooden wall and closing her eyes, she tried to make sense of everything: Could it be that she truly enjoyed this kiss, and the one they shared a few nights ago? Were the butterflies that appeared in her stomach at his mere touch a new feeling, or was it something she'd unconsciously tried to repress? Maybe these feelings had gone on even longer than she originally thought. She was always disappointed to find John had left camp without her and she couldn't deny that her heart leaped with joy every time he returned.

The sound of John's raspy laugh brought her back out of her daydream.

     “So you finished celebratin' your birthday yet?” he asked, leaning against the side of the saloon with a cigarette hanging from his mouth. He casually struck a match against the wall to light it.

     “For now at least,” she replied, leaning in the empty space next to him. Pausing for a second she turned to face him, “Hey can I ask you something?”

     “Sure, what about?” He replied, staring straight ahead, outstretching his hand to offer her his cigarette.

     “What is this?" Lilly questioned, taking a drag before handing it back to him.

     "It's a cigarette." John teased, though it was clear he knew full well what she truly meant.

     "No dumbass! What is *this* happening between us?” she gestured, waving her hands wildly in the empty space in between them. 

     “I thought that was obvious,” he chuckled, exhaling a puff of smoke in that calm, collected manner of his. 

     Struggling to take her eyes off him, Lilly leaned back, resting her head against the woodwork. “It's just...well...I've been running with you guys for a while now, and you hardly ever used to speak to me and all of a sudden, you keep kissing me?”

     "What? You don't like me kissin' ya?"

     "Well yeah, I do like it. But..." Before she could finish her sentence, John had flicked his cigarette to the floor. He moved quickly to face her, one hand resting next to her head on the wall, the other one back on her hip. His thumb began to rub circles on a patch of exposed skin, and he pulled her body closer to him.

     "But what?" He whispered into her ear; his breath so close she could practically taste the whiskey and tobacco.

Staring into his eyes, Lilly no longer had the words to answer him. She instead leaned forward to kiss him, her tongue prodding through his already parted lips. John took the opportunity to suck gently on her tongue as one hand moved to palm her breast. His other hand moved gently over her body, feeling every curve and groaning as he watched her succumb to his touch. 

He smirked, immensely enjoying the soft moans that escaped from her mouth into his. Her hips rolled subconsciously against him, grinding against his growing erection. Her jeans soon felt loosened as he unbuckled them. She groaned into his ear as he slid his hand in and moved a finger along her already wet folds.

     "Nice to see I have this effect on you." he smirked. He observed her expression as he thumbed her sensitive nub before moving a finger inside of her core.

Burying her head against his shoulder as she arched her hips to his touch, Lilly couldn't help but cry out a breathless, "Oh…God." 

Holding Lilly's jaw with his other hand, he rasped into her ear, "You never struck me as being so needy for my touch," he brushed a thumb against her lips, which she eagerly took into her mouth. "Yet here you are, takin’ everything I'm givin’ you."

Lilly nodded, finding herself unable to speak. Her face contorted with pleasure as he quickened his pace with his other hand, curling his fingers against her sweet spot. Grabbing a tight hold of his arm, Lilly dug her nails in as the crest of her first wave quickly built up and washed over her.

As she eased down from her high, John moved his hand away, prompting her to whine from the loss of contact. She caught her breath and watched in anticipation as John started to unbuckle his own trousers. His rock hard erection sprang free and he moved his hand over the shaft, coating it with a mix of her slick and his own precum.

With John helping her out of her jeans, Lilly was not used to the strange sensation of the cool night air nip at her exposed flesh. The heat of her core quickly returned upon catching the pure lust in John’s eyes, him staring at her as if she were the most gorgeous being he’d ever set his sights on.

Moving in closer to her, he carefully positioned himself at her entrance. "You ready for me?" he asked. 

Nodding sheepishly, Lilly pulled him into a short and sweet kiss, gingerly placing her hands on his shoulders. John eased her up against the wall and placed a hand on her thigh, lifting her leg up to rest on his waist. He slowly pushed into her, watching her face for any signs of discomfort. As her body grew accustomed to him, he began to thrust at a steady pace. Her hands moved to his backside, pushing him closer and deeper within her with each thrust. 

John firmly placed his hand under her chin, pulling her mouth closer to his own. Her hot breath breezed against his cheek as she moaned, her body tingling in pleasure from how deep he’d reached inside her. Nipping at her bottom lip, Lilly couldn't help but groan his name into his mouth. Her hands moved under his shirt to claw at his back.

     “Feelin’ okay?” John whispered, his nimble fingers unlacing her blouse. With her breasts exposed to his hungry gaze, he brought his mouth against her supple flesh. His tongue and teeth toyed and grazed against her hardened nipple, only heightening her ecstasy.

     “Mmm...better than...okay….I…..I…..” Unable to finish the sentence, Lilly’s body began to shake and tighten around him, tugging at his hair as she attempted to keep herself quiet. With another climax on the rise, John quickly moved to muffle her screams by covering her mouth with his hand. He continued to thrust deep into her, helping her ride out the ever heightening wave of pleasure.

He wasn’t too far behind, only short moments passing before he quickly pulled out and spilt himself onto the floor. He panted heavily and leaned his head against her shoulder, the night air filled with their breathless sighs.

     Lilly was the first to speak, "Wow!" she exclaimed, simply at a loss for other words. She leaned against the wall, dragging her tired fingers through his hair.

John placed soft kisses along her collarbone before he tucked himself back into his trousers. A small look of concern crossed his face, and he muttered, "Sorry."

     "For what?"

    "I practically forced myself on you just then...but it's just…I've wanted you ever since I first laid eyes on you."

Lilly smiled at him, grabbing her jeans to pull them back on. "You didn't force yourself on me. I kissed you this time, remember?" As she laced her blouse back up, she noted the look of confusion John had etched across his face. A giggle escaped her. "I obviously wanted it too. It just took me a bit longer to realise my feelings towards you." 

Her reassurance seemed to do the trick as a smile appeared on John’s lips. “I’m glad to hear you say that, didn’t want you thinkin’ that this had to be a one off” 

Placing a gentle kiss on his cheek, she linked his arm and walked back with him onto the main street. "Come on, I think I’m done with my birthday drinks. But what say we continue celebrating over at the hotel?"

#fangirl writes #nsft #red dead redemption 2 #john marston x original female character #rdr2 fanfic #my oc: Lilly Mae James

[allieinarden]

I've already sent this ask to apenitentialprayer, but I figured it would be worth a shot to ask you this too.I was never one to idolize people, but I would obsess over things. Growing up I was often ashamed for obsessing over this show or that movie or this book or that character, to what seemed to be an unhealthy degree. I also had maladaptive daydreaming, possibly still do to a lesser degree, which only exacerbated things. I often thought of this as sinful, and would often pray to God to take.

To take away my obsessive tendencies. Sometimes I would give up to God a particular object of interest, only to pick it up again. Then I became part of online communties and noticed that just about everyone I knew had similar tendencies, which we all seem to call hyperfixations nowadays, and I stopped believing that my own interests and hyperfixations were inherently sinful. But every now and then I get this nagging feeling that I’m doing something wrong. Is this really a sinful thing?

Or is this a form of scrupulosity? Sorry for this bizarre ask.

I actually don’t think this is bizarre at all, it’s something I contemplate a lot. I am a notorious hyperfixater. Like you I’ve pretty much concluded that it’s just the way I’m wired. (Sorry, friends and family.)

The thing is, rightly or wrongly, most of us spend a lot of time thinking about stuff that isn’t strictly the most important thing in our lives. Actively trying not to think about something is the surest way to think about it, and putting pressure on yourself to avoid something that probably is a form of escapism for you is inevitably going to make you escape more and harder to avoid that stress. It’s highly important to live a life that is centered on God, but fortunately the fact that this is even a concern for you indicates that your priorities are solid. I’m hardly the expert on this matter but I have a few tips:

Pray, even if briefly, when you think about praying. Talk to God when it comes to mind to do so. When you’re really focused in on something it’s very easy to say, “Well, I’ll say a more committed kind of prayer later when my focus changes,” and I hope you do do that. But contact with God is not, and I can’t emphasize this enough, the reward you get for being in the ideal state in which to contact God: it is the only thing that can get you to that point. In a difficulty like this, God should be your first line of inquiry. He’s not the audience for a finished performance, He’s the director trying to help you get it right. I hope that makes some sense. Introduce Him into your normal day immediately, don’t try to fix your day and then let Him into it. 

Gratitude! This is huge. Anytime you enjoy something that is not sinful you are appreciating something that is either a part of God’s creation or a product, even if a necessarily imperfect one, of what Tolkien called “subcreation” and regarded as a divine gift. Don’t think of recreation as necessarily divorced from adoration. If you feel a worshipful impulse direct it where it is due. Thank God for other people’s abilities and imaginations. I’m serious, I can’t think of anything too trivial for gratitude to apply to. If it’s good enough to spend time with it’s good enough to be grateful for. I see nothing wrong with, or even terribly silly in, thanking God for the Pokémon anime. Or in saying a prayer for the brave souls who broke their arms off animating it back when everything was painted on cels.

Instead of considering how to take stuff out of your life, think about what good habits you can add into your life. If you have dead time (or even guilty procrastination time) you’re going to default to what makes you most immediately comfortable unless you have other things to apply to. So make a spiritual reading list and then have the books on hand. Or make it your goal to read scripture or say a certain prayer at least once a day, and then have the means to do that (Bible, rosary) in your bag or in your line of vision. Or schedule those things if you’re the type of person who’s good at handling time in that way (I want to simultaneously highly recommend this strategy and beg you for help in implementing it myself). Do not beat yourself up if you miss a day, I’m serious. I absolutely forbid it. That is the FASTEST way to default back to what makes you most immediately comfortable and never attempt a positive addition again. 

Following from that last thing, and this is advice not only to hyperfixaters but to all the scrupulous straight from the scrupulous trenches: any time you’re reasonably sure you’re not sinning but you’re looking to become more actively spiritual, remember that you’re not looking to make a bad thing good, you’re looking to make a good thing great. An all-or-nothing mentality fuels scrupulosity by making you feel like you committed a sin by, for instance, spending time going on a Wikipedia spiral or wondering where the plot of a TV show is going to go that you intended to spend in prayer—when actually you didn’t sin, you just didn’t do the ideal thing. If that distinction is clear and obvious to you, congratulations, you are probably not scrupulous. Striving to do better is not the same as being in a condition of sin, just as striving to lose some weight is not the same as being unattractive, or striving to wash your hands more thoroughly is not the same as being a Coronavirus superspreader. (As I intend to show through these examples, the scrupulous mentality can and does apply to more than just spirituality, which is how you can tell it’s not really a spiritual impulse.) Adam and Eve were allowed to eat from every single tree in Eden EXCEPT for that one tree. Probably some of the fruit was much more nutritious than others, but only one was forbidden. Once you’ve ruled out sin, you have a lot of freedom regarding what you may do with your time—and that’s why it’s an excellent thing to devote time to worshipping God, just as it’s an excellent thing to donate your own money, although you could spend it on yourself without any fear of committing a crime. Don’t act out of shame or fear of feeling guilty, but out of a joyful desire to honor God and to put more good in the world. 

In conclusion, I want to issue a quick caution about the concept of “maladaptive daydreaming”: excessive daydreaming is definitely an unhealthy impulse, and often an unhealthy coping mechanism, but I’m inclined to think that it’s fairly common and only rarely pathological (meaning a 24/7 crippling, unceasing affair). I say this because imaginative thinking, even of a frequent and distracting sort, can and does serve a good and useful purpose, and I don’t think people should feel ashamed of it or assume that it all must necessarily stem from poor trauma management. Rather they should prayerfully consider what good may be gained by it, as well as what good may be found outside of it.

#anonymous asks #theology #religion #Christianity #scrupulosity #happy St. Patrick's Day please call the plague doctors and ask them if they'll bring me a shamrock shake