#I've never said this before so please dont ruin this for me : i super fucking hate my 'father'

[tillthelandslide]

Wintering - Matty Healy One Shot

A/n: dedicated to my wonderful @insidemymind19 who I love beyond compare. I wanted to do something to show you how much you mean to me and how I will always always be here for you, no matter what. I wish it was better but this is literally the first thing I've written in ages so sorry about that, Ive been a bit fucked recently so I apologise to everyone awaiting fics from me... dont get your hope up please. Anyway this is for you my love <3. To everyone else: please enjoy this very very early Christmas fic

Taglist: @scooby-doodoo @thereisaplaceintheheart @promocodesorry75 @eaglestar31 @thefrontofmymind @fallingforel @partoftheairforce @procrastinatinglikeapro @poisonmedaddy13 @xthe1975 @all-things-fic @jstbeeingme @rossgirly @juliardk @you-muppet @moodyyyychickx @k4tie75 @friedlandblog @insidemymind19 @zzzhealy @at-her-very-foreign (add yourself using the link in my bio 😊)

Your socked feet rub against Matty's as you sit on your sofa, one of his arms wrapped securely around your shoulders, keeping you warm and making you feel safe. His other hand holds a mug of steaming hot chocolate that you had made him, whipped cream, marshmallows and all. He chuckled when you handed him the mug, asking where you managed to find heart shaped marshmallows, you held a finger to your lips and he laughed again, murmuring an "I love you" up at you before begging you to sit down with him.

He's clad in a warm, cosy black knit sweater, matching yours, except yours is far too big (you stole it from him) and the sleeves are wrapped around your hands. He wants nothing more than to hold your hand in his, he'd even let his hot chocolate go cold for it. But you look far too comfortable and he'd feel far far too guilty if he interrupted that, or if the drink you made him went cold. He knew you'd scold him for both so instead he squeezes your shoulder and presses his lips to your cheek.

"The quicker we drink these, the faster we can get to my surprise" he says with a cheeky smile. You can't help but smile back, blowing on your own drink and taking a sip, which makes him smile too.

"good girl" he mumbles and he chuckles at the way your eyebrows raise, as if to say "don't start something you can't finish Healy"

"You still won't tell me anything else about it?" You ask and he shakes his head. All he has told you is that he's taking you somewhere, the location unknown but he said Ross and his new missus (your long term best friend) would be meeting you both there. He also told you to wrap up warm, so your coat, gloves, scarf and the cute little hat he had bought you, wait by the door. You knew anywhere you went right now you'd need to be wrapped up, when you woke this morning a soft layer of snow coated the ground and although you hadn't looked, you'd guess it was thicker now.

"It's a surprise love I told you that" he says and presses another kiss to your cheek.

"I know... But I thought your super hot, wonderful loving , funny fiancé might be able to get it out of you" you say as you place your (almost) finished cup of hot chocolate down. A hand appears from your jumper and he mirrors your actions, placing his own cup down before interweaving his hand with yours. One thing about Matty that you hated at first, was that he would never finish a hot drink, always leaving half of it behind, insisting that it never stayed warm long enough. Years of dating him and you had picked up the habit yourself, a fact that always makes his heart swell. 

He lifts your hand to his mouth, pressing against your finger, right below the ring that sparkles under the light. You smile at him, and you watch the way his eyes sparkle back at you, clearly in love. He still shakes his head though, not wanting to ruin the surprise. 

"My lips are sealed..." He says with a smirk. You raise an eyebrow.

"You know I could call your best friend... I'm sure he owes me a favour or six..." You say and Matty chuckles and once again shakes his head.

"You wouldn't... Besides he is my best friend for a reason, my secrets are his secrets" he says and that makes you smile.

"Fair point... Suppose I'll have to call MY best friend" you say and Matty's face falls. You and your best friend told each other everything, and you knew that no matter what, she’d always be there for you (a/n: i promise Evie). Your hand barely reaches your phone before he's pinned you down, making you giggle.

"Don't love!! It's supposed to be a surprise" he says and digs his fingers into your sides, making you giggle.

"Okay okay I surrender" you say, giving in to him, he doesn't remove himself from you though, he only lowers himself until your lips are pressed against each other, breaking when your smiles get too big.

"I love you so much" he says against your mouth and not a second later you're repeating words back to him.

He texts Ross and his missus that you’re on their way soon after, when you’re both wrapped up warm and your gloved hands are holding each other as you walk to the car.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay driving in this Matty?" You ask,one hand reaching in front of you and catching the snowflakes, watching as they land on your gloved hand, with a huge smile on your face. Matty smiles at the sight, his heart hammering in his chest. You then slide into the car. Matty simply wraps his hands around both of yours, and smiles at you.

"You worry too much" he says with a brief kiss to your mouth before he begins driving. Soon the surprise is revealed when he parks the car along a side road. What gives it away is the sparkly lights coating the street and the Christmas decorations hanging everywhere. You see the various Christmas stools in the distance and smile widely, squealing loudly and making him chuckle.

"Knew you'd be excited" he says with a smile as he puts the car into park. "Stay there" he says, covering his curls with a beanie before leaving the car, walking to your side and opening the door, leaning down to kiss you again.

"You're the best" you mumble into his mouth, standing and closing the door behind you.

“I know how much you love winter and I know it's a while until Christmas but I wanted to take you here before we went to see my family,” he explains.

“It's perfect Matty, thank you” you kiss him once before pulling away, loving the way he leans forward for one more.

“Lets not leave the newly-weds waiting “ he says with a smile.

You find Ross and your best friend (his wife) (a/n: me hehe) soon enough, both red at the cheeks and holding warm drinks in their gloved hands. They're both quick to hug you and you begin walking around the market. You talk about various things, the topic of your impending wedding being the centre of conversation. You and Matty had pretty much everything planned out and you were beyond excited for the day. You and your best friend giggle about all sorts whilst the guys catch up. 

It's not long until Matty is at your side again, walking with his hand in yours. You smile at the couple walking next to you, Ross' arm wrapped tightly around her frame and holding her close.

"Trust me mate... Being married is the best thing" he says and it makes you smile.

"I can't wait" Matty says honestly, turning to you and pecking your lips again.

"Me neither" you smile. You've never felt happier. Christmas markets were your favourite thing, the joy you felt as you looked at all the cute little stools was only amplified by being with your best friend, her husband, and your soon to be husband. Nothing could make it better, or so you think.

Just when your face is aching from smiling and laughing you see four people walking towards you, huge smiles on their faces and you recognize them immediately.

You turn to Matty almost instantly, a look of shock on your face "surprise!!" He says. Then you're wrapped in more hugs, from George, Charli, Carly and Hann (and baby Hann) .

"the gangs back together" Charli says after hugging you tightly.

You walk around the Christmas market, Matty buys you various handmade Christmas decorations. You fill up on delicious food and treats and Matty never leaves your side.

You all stop at the huge Christmas tree at the centre of the stools. Matty hooks his arms around you as you stare up at him, Ross does the same for his wife, as does George to Charli and Hann for Carly, their son standing squeezed into their side. Each couple was beyond happy as Christmas music played around them. 

"It's beautiful" you say and you feel Matty smile against your cheek, his lips pressed there for a few moments.

“So are you Evie” it makes you smile. 

"This has been the best day Matty, thank you" you say, turning in his arms.

"You're welcome my love" he says, smiling down at you.

"I love you so much" you say. You feel snowfall onto your cheek but Matty is quick to wipe it away with his gloved thumb.

"I love you more, so much more" he says, lowering his mouth to yours. A kiss in the snow, it's perfect.

The whole day is perfect. 

#matty healy #matty healy imagine #matty the 1975 #matty healy fanfic #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x reader #matty x reader #matty healy fan fic #the 1975 fanfic #the 1975 fic #the 1975 fluff #matty healy x you #matty healy one shot #lou and evie

[actualbird]

I guess I'll call myself 🔥 anon??? Idk lol. I changed my writing style with that first ask, but whatever. This is important, so who cares.

Anyway, I get it. I come from a family of artists and academics and teachers. My childhood dreams were to be a painter, a marine biologist, or someone super smart with a well-paying job. After that, in high school, my dream was just ATAR. Get a good ATAR score. Be good at learning and be told, "Yeah, you could go to university."

It's a year or so after that goal was set. I'm moving down to general classes and doing things I love more. My business cert is no longer there just to say "I have a certificate", it's because the teacher is one of the nicest teachers I've ever met and I like the class. Take IT because it's easy. Do human biology because you think the immune system is fun. I'm younger than you, sure, but one of the best things I've learned is exactly what that old saying says.

"Jack of all trades, master of none

but better than a master of one."

I'm having the time of my life. Will I end up getting higher education? Probably. Because I want to. Is it okay if I drop a course halfway through and never pick it up again? Is it okay if I have to ask teachers to slow it down?

Totally.

You don't have to be good at school to be good. I'm awful at it, and gifted kid burnout destroyed my life for a while. But I have friends and family who love me, and slowly, I'm learning to love myself, too.

I wish you all the best.

hi again fire!anon i

fully teared up reading this JKHSVJFHDKSDFKJSD

you might be younger but my gosh youre a whole lot wiser than i was when i was at uni age.

youre right and i agree with everything you said. i guess im just still stuck in that weird portion you mentioned of set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal -> set academic/career goal that now that im in a place where i can start wanting things that are a bit more outside of the usual goals i had before. it's scary as fuck!!! i wish somebody could just tell me what to do instead!!! but i absolutely believe in the essence of doing things because you love them

while im not in class anymore, im a notorious hobby hopper. i learned how to crochet for funsies and i dont anymore but i still loved doing it, i have on and off durations of being obsessed with origami, i keep wanting to learn basic html for website building but keep putting it off because im worried im not smart enough to be able to handle it but honestly, when i have the time and motivation, i should just do it.

im like you in the sense that gifted kid burnout also ruined my life a bit, i think it uh....still is up til now, probably, judging by how badly 90% of my life's decisions are still made on the basis of whether or not i can get A Good Grade At Task HVSLBDFJSDJFK. but eventually, i hope it lessens its hold on me. i think one of the hardest things about going from student to adult was accepting that i cant Get A Good Grade At Life. absolutely mindboggling to me. can someone else please tell me what to do and if im doing good at it? please? i dont think i ever stopped being a student vying for validation. or rather, i havent stopped yet

itd be nice to stop. and just do shit cuz i like it. the idea sounds heavenly to me like a clear day. maybe things will be okay ;-;

i wish you all the best too, fire!anon. thank you <3

#life would be so much simpler if somebody told me what to want and how to get an A+ at it #but i guess itd also be a lot more miserable too. i have to learn to want on my own some day #fire!anon #asks

[diavolosthots]

Hey dear! I hope that you have a good time! I want to make a request, but please delete it if you don't feel like doing it.

I saved that request in the notes and been waiting for you to open them 😊

For request

First fight with brother (any of your choice) and one of them (I mean MC or that brother) thinks that it's end of relationship (because never had anything serious), but they reconciled in the end. I want some heavy angst with happy ending. MC can be GN if that is OK.

If you don't mind you can do for Mammon, but feel free to choose another one if you don't feel like write for him. Or if that would be better to write as headcanons for all the brothers. That's up to you!

I haven't been doing requests for ages. Please don't hate me if there is something wrong! I've read the rules, and I hope I haven't missed anything.

Anyway, sorry for long ask. And thank you for your writings!

(I forgot to look if you did anything similar, and remembered it at the end of writing that ask. Sorry if you already did something like that!)

Hey babes ❤ I did end up doing HCs for all of them because I thought it would be cooler (or more like I know someone is gonna request separate fics for all of them if I dont and I'm saving myself that trouble lol) I still hope you like it ! ❤ also this got SUPER LONG so its under a cut

Warning: angst -> happy ending-ish

THE BROTHERS in a fight with MC and thinking that they’re over (yikes)

Lucifer:

Everyone always says Lucifer is quick to lose his cool but he’s honestly been nothing but patient with you. He may have hinted at several things he doesn’t condone and he definitely has that ‘look’, you know the disappointed dad look, but he has held back a lot so as to not ruin the beautiful relationship you have with him. Everyone snaps, though, and when he finally did, it was ugly. He did NOT call you names, but oh he didn’t. He went straight for your feelings and pointed out every mistake you ever made for as long as he’s known you. Ouch. In his defense, you weren’t nice either. The argument ended nasty and ‘I hate you’s!’ were definitely thrown around, but none of them were meant, right? Goodness, he doesn’t know. After you left, he threw himself on his bed, literally, and just stared at the ceiling. His anger slowly fled away and he began to feel… guilty. Not necessarily because of the argument itself, but because he delivered some low blows and he knows that. Are you over? Done with him? You haven’t texted or called or talked… you’ve been actively avoiding him and he doesn’t like that, but his pride is such an issue, goodness. He can’t straight up apologize, that dickhead, but he’s sending you flowers and standing in front of your door with a sad face that says it all. 

“Forgive me? I made reservations at your favorite’s? We can talk over a nice dinner?” 

Mammon:

Mammon is known to get mildly agitated over the silliest things, let’s be real. He’s also quick to revert to the “are you dumb?!” argument, which is never effective. But he loves you and he would do anything for you so even if you do do something that he deems ‘dumb’, he usually bites his tongue. Doesn’t mean that doesn’t get on his nerves, though, and he definitely has a short temper, although people tend to overlook that. You just managed to push his buttons today and he used the “are ya stupid?!” argument, to which you obviously defended yourself, and rightfully so. This ended in a massive screaming match and him saying “Then leave! Ain’t nobody keepin’ ya with me!” He regretted it the minute those words left his mouth and you could see his eyes grow wide in shock at his own words, but that didn’t mean you stayed. “MC!” he tried running after you immediately but you were faster and honestly, who can blame you? He fucked up, and he knows it, and he feels terrible about it. Honestly, he’s crying just at the mere thought of you taking his words seriously and he can’t… he can’t bear to lose you, you know? What’s he gonna do? You’re the light of his life, as pathetic as that may sound to some…. So he won’t let you run away. Homie will hunt you down and beg for forgiveness. 

“Please, MC! Forgive me! I’m dumb, not you!!! Don’t leave me…” Don’t leave him. He will continue crying. 

Leviathan:

His constant need to put himself down is frankly, quite annoying. To you anyway. But you put up with it and just reassure him that, at least to you, he’s the most amazing demon that ever existed. It’s just facts. But a person only has so much patience, right? You can’t always spend your days trying to lift him up when all he does is dig himself a bigger hole. Who has the emotional time for that? You sure don’t. “Oh my God, Levi! Shut up! I can’t take it anymore!” Followed by “See! You’re just like everyone else! Leaving me!” and then you slamming the door to his room shut. It’s frustrating and understandably so. It makes you feel awful that you can’t even make your own boyfriend feel good about himself and get at least a little bit of self confidence and it’s so, so, so very draining to have to constantly listen to that. At this point, it’s affecting your own mental health and you just… you just can’t…. But Levi can’t lose you because he knows you’re right. He has to work on himself if he wants to keep someone as amazing as you with him and that’s why he’s crawling back to you now. 

“Look I… I know you’re right… I’m sorry. I promise I’ll … I’ll try. For you.”

Satan:

For being the Avatar of Wrath, you always admired Satan for his ability to keep cool. He prefers the relaxed and easy going life much more than the type of life people expect him to live, and you respect that. That doesn’t mean his constant need to one up Lucifer, through whatever means necessary, didn’t bother the hell out of you, though. You tried talking to him about it once or twice in a calm manner, but you always got the same answer “Pfft.. it’s Lucifer. Who cares?” And it never sat right with you. Just today he decided to pull a prank on the eldest and you had enough, standing in front of Lucifer and letting the bucket of cursed green slime land on you instead, to everyone’s shock. “What are you doing?!” Now that you’re thoroughly green from head to toe, you were also beyond pissed. “What am I doing?! What are YOU doing?!” But Satan matched your anger tenfold, accusing you of favoring Lucifer over him and oh! “You probably got an affair with him, too!” Which was a stupid thing on his part, but it looked like it the way you defended him. Anger doesn’t even begin to describe the emotion you felt running through you and had it not been for Lucifer, you probably would’ve physically fought Satan for such a dumb accusation. Lucifer took you to get cleaned up and lifted the course, giving you your natural skin and hair color back within a few days and plenty of scrubbing, and Satan felt like shit. You’ve always been there for him and, rationally speaking, he didn’t have a reason to doubt your loyalty to him, but he just can’t help but feel insecure beside Lucifer…. He decides to come apologize anyway, a deep blush on his face and guilt in his eyes 

“I’m… sorry for accusing you. It wasn’t my right to speak out of anger and jealousy…” 

Asmodeus:

How can anyone fight with the Avatar of Lust? Seriously, the guy is super easy going and he loves pretty much everyone. Not as much as himself, but almost. You on the other hand… you didn’t. Well you didn’t NOT love him or yourself, but you were just… you. You didn’t spend 4+ hours in the bathroom trying to get ready when you knew you were only going to the kitchen down the stairs. Like?? Although you never brought it up to Asmodeus, he constantly bothered you about skincare and what foods to eat and what not to eat, etc… It’s quite annoying, honestly, and at some point you just gave him a passive aggressive “Okay, whatever. Can we move on now?” To which he didn’t take lightly. He was still nice and sweet, trying to convince you that at least one of these things will make your skin glow brighter than a unicorn’s ass but you just had enough. “Can you stop?! You’re indirectly saying I’m ugly without that shit ton of product in my face and a diet that would make me starve before it helped me! If you want a skinny VS angel that barely holds onto their skeleton, get one!” It was more hurt and frustration speaking than anything, but your outburst still shocked him and he was taken aback for a moment. And then you ignored him for a week straight and as someone who thrives off of attention, especially the kind he gets from you, he can’t handle that! So he showed up in your room in sweats and a tshirt and messy hair and no product on his skin. 

“You’re right… we’re all naturally beautiful…. Wow that… that really hurts to say MC but can you forgive me?” 

Beelzebub:

Oh the sweet, sweet angel. He’s far from innocent and you know that. We all know that. But for this story, I will give him the benefit of the doubt. His reliance on Belphegor is just really… annoying. Belphegor this, Belphegor that. “Belphie used to…” or “Belphie said….” or “one day when Belphie and I….” Like why does everything have to include his twin? It’s so annoying and so rude when your significant other is right here !!! and planning their own future with you, Beel, thanks. It makes you feel less than and like Belphegor will always come before you. It makes you feel like shit, quite frankly, and who is to blame you? “Hey MC did I tell you what Belphie---!” “No! Shut up! I don’t care! It’s always about Belphie! The day you come to me and don’t let that name drip from your tongue is the day Jesus comes back to save me and we both know that will be never! I’m tired of always being stuck with Belphegor! We are not equals!” Granted, you shouldn’t have yelled and Beel was more than confused at your outburst, but you wouldn’t talk to him anymore after that so he left you alone. He thought you may need an hour or two, maybe a day tops, but that day turned into a full week and he even lost his appetite just because he knows you’re angry with him. It’s been a week, does that mean you’re over? His heart aches just at the thought… 

“I’m sorry for bringing Belphie up… I don’t want you to feel less than, MC. You mean a lot to me and so does Belphie, but you’re not Belphie and I need to learn that…”

Belphegor:

Honestly it’s a miracle he hasn’t lost his temper at you yet. Well, he partially blames it on his own laziness because if being angry or getting upset didn’t take so much energy out of him, maybe he would’ve snapped by now lol, but he tries really hard not to because he thinks your relationship with him after everything is pretty good, considering yall kiss and snuggle and fuck on a regular basis. But anyway, that’s exactly the issue. Considering everything, you’re still holding *that* against him. It’s never direct either, which makes it worse. It’s always said in a joking manner and something like “haha look it’s just like that one time you killed me” or “Beel’s grabbing that ham like you grabbed my throat” or “I remember seeing jesus for a moment there” and it agitates him. It makes him so angry, and he finally snapped. “I know I fucked up MC! Stop holding it against me! What do you want? A medal of honor? A survivor's certificate? Maybe a pat on the back for developing some sort of Stockholm syndrome that made you come back to your abuser?!” And then he left. And you may have cried both from confusion and your own anger, he isn’t quite sure. It’s just so…. Aggravating. He can’t deal with it. He knows it was a mistake spurted by his own insecurities and survivor’s guilt which ultimately led to his hatred but please, stop holding it against him.. He can’t keep putting up with it from the person he’s grown to love. He’s the one ignoring you and he won’t budge either because he’s a stubborn ass, but maybe if you come up first… 

“I’m sorry for yelling at you… I’m just so tired for it being held against me… I love you, and you should know that, and I do feel guilty about what happened.” 

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me scenarios #cheys headcanons #asmodeus obey me #belphegor obey me #mammon obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me beelzebub #tw angst

[shittybabypostsfordays]

So like. First off, I dont want to talk about this, please, I already feel like enough of an attention seeking bitch for this whole issue. This is just like. A way for me to keep a record of my crazy and see how it changes. It's science if I write it down somewhere.

But like. I feel like I've gotten to the point where I could maybe do creative things but only if I keep them absolutely to myself, which to me defeats the purpose of creating. Like I know it's hip and trendy to be like "create for the sake of creating and if you enjoy sharing it then fuck you" but hear me out. Creation is a form of self expression. You can't express yourself to yourself. Obviously numbers and things don't dictate what you should create. You should be authentic to yourself and do what you want, but to fully create something it needs to be shared. (Or maybe I'm super off and fuck me for saying this I'm a terrible human being fuck me.)

Which like. You don't have to share everything. Bc part of the creative process is fiddling with things behind the scenes. But like. No one makes a movie and goes "great! I never want anyone to see this ever!"

And I don't fucking know, maybe part of this comes from my one teacher who basically said it was a sin to only do g in the shower because God gave you those gifts so you have to make other people happy? So maybe I just have a fucked up relationship with creating in general and I should just stop but like. I already can do so little, I want this. I want to be able to do something.

But now I'm afraid to share things bc what if people do like it? Like a lot? And then that makes people feel bad? It would be my fault they felt bad? I exist to be worse by comparison, so I can't do anything to be better than anyone or else I'm bad.

And also like. If I can't share stuff, I can't teach. And I really do want to teach writing. And I know time is going by and I need to figure out what to go back to school for. But I couldn't live with myself if I then encourage this growth in people and it causes them pain or does turn out to be objectively bad and so then I've given them a one way ticket to hell just because I couldn't not share my joy about writing which would make me the worst person. And that's in addition to creativity literally ruining the lives of people that I see. It just makes people sad, and if I'm somehow able to be happy in spite of it, that makes me bad because I'm the last person who should be happy, everyone else needs to be happy before I'm allowed to be.

And I hate that my brain has gotten stuck on this in particular.