#IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT LETS GO

[ghosted-jazz]

Traffic Gals- Introducing Gem!

#secret life #secret life smp #zombiecleo #geminitay #pearlescentmoon #ldshadowlady #trafficblr #traffic smp spoilers #traffic spoilers #life series spoilers #SEASON 5 AND IT MEANS IM BACK ON MY BULLSHIT LETS GOOOOOOOOOO #My Gem design is basically just a dorito. She is a rounded triangle to me in the same way that Pearl is a stick #I watched some episodes half way through drawing this and im going feral RHHRHRHHR #idk what the offical spoiler tag is so im just- using as many as i found ig #my art

[toytulini]

listen im ace and im pro kink at pride and whatever, but the way some of yall are wording your posts in response to the backlash against it is uh. really taking me back to the ace shitcourse era.

yall know theres nothing wrong with being a "virgin", right? that its not inherently shameful to have not had sex, to never have sex, even if youre not ace, even if you do want to have sex someday, like, its fine that you haven't had sex?

maybe if your problem is that theyre trying to police your behavior and shame you for expressing your sexuality, you can say that? instead of resorting to "haha stupid virgin gets no bitches" like my god. do you not hear how fucking regressive that attitude is? i know, i know, youre "joking".

get a better joke

#toy txt post #god im going to regret this post im gonna regret it so much i can feel it in my bones #let it flop..........pls #internalize my message let it sink in and understand what i am saying and then let the post flop #i say. knowing the ppl who need to see such a message are the ones who will make me regret this post and regrwt not having #1 million bajillion disclaimers #virgin is in quotes bc its a bullshit made up stupid purity culture concept anyway and quite frankly i hate even seeing the word #disclaimer: the previous sentence is not me saying that it is a slur for asexuals. it is me a single individual saying this specific word #grosses me out to read and see everywhere when its a stupid bullshit binary made up or at least historically largely used #to shame largely women and i dont know why we're still using it in 2023 #and ive just been. seeing such an uptick in this whole like. attitude? lately and like #im ace im minorly sex repulsed. mostly about anything sex at me bad. other adults sex at each other consensually? go wild #i like to think im pretty chill about it. i try to be. i think its fine ig to be like 'my meat is huge i fuck so much so good' #like okay not my thing but good for you. love that for you #but then some of yall have started turning it back around back to. 'haha your meat so small and shriveled you get no bitches' #'haha stupid incel virgin' like okay. didnt realize we all went back to fucking. middle school but okay #god im gonna run out of tine to get ready for my thing writing this stupid post UGH evil #but like idk we've kinda circled back to being like haha being a virgin still is stupid and silly and shameful #and if im quite honest. i do think the acecourse played a part in that bc i felt like we were making good progress in like #hey guys is fine to not have sex ever if you dont want to its fine to not want sex its fine #and then aphobes went fucking rabid on us and splintered and destroyed online communities all over but especially on tumblr #and so many aces went back in the closet we stopped talking about it we stopped spreading awareness and now this stupid goddamn like #and now this stupid bullshit attitude is back where its like funny to call someone a virgin as an insult but like no bro trust me its okay #its okay for me to do it bc im a hot queer person with huge meat instead of a cisstraight frat bro with huge meat #? like you know the issue was the behavior right? not the fact that it was straight dudes saying it? its bc the thing being said was shitty? #you know you can dunk on the puritan bitches trying to police your behavior at pride without getting us as collateral damage right #stop making me read that stupid ugly ass word ur not cool or funny #whatever #if you come on to this post to start shit i will not only block you but as many of your mutuals and followers as i can find. i will scroll #i will block this entire fucking website if i need to do not test me. i am exhausted and the acecourse ate up all my tolerance in 2015.

[thinkingabout-girls]

thousand yard stare this man has Trauma. and anxiety. someone get him some weed

#dm.liveblog #i’m back on my bullshit #dungeon meshi spoilers #i’m losing my mind over this page. the stress and panic and the immediate flashbacks to the half foots #who were kidnapped and experimented on……. #and the instant NO. im not letting that happen to me i’m not letting anything happen to my friends #he needs a plan and by god is he going to have a plan because he isn’t going to lose them. kills myself #“and i swear we’ll get home” fuck my whole entire life

[hishoukoku]

.

#I feel like I'm bothering ppl with my bullshit and i can't shake the feeling that everyone is fed up with me #I wish i could go live in a cave by myself sometimes #.....(let it be the 10k gods cave at least T.T)...... #no but for every hour of intense serotonin i get from things i love...I feel like a worthless trash the next few hours #Almost like i don't deserve it because even saying HELLO sometimes makes me feel like a bother #and that's to ppl /I/ consider friends #ive lost the ability to even realize who considers me a 'friend back' #not that i have anything to offer #plus i have to do some shit at work that i dont like #and it's taking a bigger toll on my brain than i thoguht it would #but its fineeeee cause I have the ability to bury myself in the things I adore to stop even the slighest real world thought from occuring #hyperfixations ftw #'cept SOMEtimes like now when im overwhelmed that i feel like i dont do them justice #I'll delete this later I'm just.. Tired.. #Ishidarambles #Personal shit #ranting in the tags like an OG tumblr user

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

my luck is so bad it is legitimately just cruel. every day literally feels like i am being punished for every little decision i make. it’s almost hard to believe and yet somehow i’m too dumb to anticipate this…?

#i have previously been burned by usps coming an hour early and not picking up my packages #i woke up at 4:45 am this morning and got out the bed fr by 9. i knew i should have had my packages out as early as possible. #i want to get paid for the items im selling as soon as possible. i want to get a refund for my returns. #and i want these people to get their stuff #yesterday usps returned a package i had sent out to me so its already delayed #i was in the middle of packaging everything up when i noticed a package was delivered #i meant to check my email to see if they sent me that bullshit fucking email claiming to have picked up my packages when they didnt #but got distracted #so naturally. my dad leaves (the only person i could ask to drop packages off at the post office) and only then do i see that dumbass email #delivered an hour ago #i am so serious……..i cannot do this anymore #it is like this every single day #like okay. if the rest of my life is terrible. if i’m losing my mind from social isolation. if my parents quite honestly hate me. #if i have no future and no hope. #if the only interaction i can rely on is friendly coworkers and patrons at the library. #if i have to spend my days off with basically only myself and my dog to talk to. #can the little fucking things go my way? like…half of them? is that possible? #i’m not even asking to have a happy life i’m not asking to be loved i’m not asking to belong i’m not asking for a point to living #man i just want the tiniest of breaks. just. two days out the week? yeah? can i get my fucking packages sent out on time? l #can i get to work on time? with no stress? can i not look forward to eating a salad all day only for my dad to have eaten it? #can i have a normal menstrual cycle? can i stop having back pain? can i be a little comfortable? can i time my birth control correctly? #this is just so exhausting. how am i supposed to do this for years and years and years #my grandma is fucking 91 #my great grandma died at like 93 #i can’t even do another year of this man #i’m dreading my 25 birthday this september #i don’t know how i’m gonna make it to 30 #let alone anything after that #my parents are in their 60s………it’s a nightmare to have to think about living that long

[goldfish-or-smthing]

i want to address the tedependent-ers since s3 is nearly upon us.

if tedependent doesnt happen next season i genuinely wont mind because it was so fun to be deluded with you guys and share my silly theories and obsess over tiny details w/ u guys :) its honestly been such a silly goofy time in the best of ways! tedependent will always be real in our hearts <33 keep making art or writing fanfic or overanalysing tiny details <3 i love u all!

#we stay winning no matter what happens #ok enough of this emo bullshit next post im back in my delusions lets go #trent crimm #ted lasso #tedependent #tedtrent

[whump-queen]

The aspec whump thing is so real cause when ppl are like “are you into bdsm?” I’m like yes but if there was no sex. At all. And I feel like every here understands!

YES—like, that’s really it.

i just wanna beat the shit out of a pretty boy and then make him clean my fucking house.

#where my fellow acespec whump baddies at let’s start a cult #I was going to write a real answer but #sadist brain grabbed the controller #also fuckinf #ace masochism whump #PLEASE LIKE— #masochism doesn’t have to be sexual!! #sometimes it’s just the only way to make the stupid pretty thing’s head *shut up* #ah #back on my bullshit it seems #I am on a fucking acespec whump crusade and im aboutta convert all y’all to my religion 🥰 #thank you for the ask for real this made me so happy when I saw it <33 #acespec whump #akias asks #answered asks

[maiaacchiato]

thinking thoughts

#mia's ramblings #thinking abt that one time i was so uncomfortable with my friend's pda thing that i left them behind at the koi pond #like i literally just. stood up. started walking away #i still have no idea why it made me uncomfortable and even now just thinking about it makes me sick #for some reason idrk #also thinking about those times where i was so mentally exhausted from everything that i didnt have the energy to stand up so i just #didnt go to school #obviously i told people i was “sick” or “masakit pakiramdam ko” etc which i mean #its a half truth? atleast ??? #and thinking about how i just want to avoid Her bc i do Not want to be dealing with their relationship problems at 6am but yk #the moment she starts up conversation i just #put those thoughts at the back of my head and pretend like im not fucking tired of her bullshit #i could be so. mentally drained. to the point that i just avoid everyone by going to coop on my own or going to 7-11 just to Breathe #but the moment someone talks to me like jack or salve or heck even kui my brain just. forces itself to act “normal” and by normal i mean no #-mentally drained yk? #like the moment literally anyone starts talking to me the thoughts of being mentally tired just get pushed back and idrk how to tell people #-that im mentally exhausted without sounding rude so i just #let my brain just bottle it up until im so tired mentally that i literally cannot function #i think its called being overstimulated? yea #which yeah basically this shit happens every. day. until my brain just goes nope youre shutting down no school for today also youre getting #-a fever too #which like??? idk why it happens??? #and its not like i dont want to talk to them either #like #obviously i do #but talking to anyone when im like this makes it feel like an obligation #which fucking sucks because i dont like being obligated to do stuff i just want to do it because well #i want to?? #and i feel bad for peewee bc usually he'll talk to me when im at my limit so my responses are very short and yea #this is why i always say 'im tired' whenever people ask how im doing

[confusedgayness]

#true love 🥰

#the eclipse #never let me go #akkayan #palmnueng #firstkhao #pondphuwin #first kanaphan #khaotung thanawat #pond naravit #phuwin tangsakyuen #thai bl #thai drama #gmmtv show #te series #nlmg series #te gifs #nlmg gifs #bl parallels #im back on my bullshit #gonna be so annoying now that it's break and i have a new show to obsess over #(and make parallels no one asked for) #true love is stored in the balls #don't ask me about that #cough #true love is playfully pretending to drown your boyfriend #though akk really takes the trophy here #pushing down ayan real far and shit #just cuz he called him cute #also #got my eclipse hoodie finally!

[taintedcigs]

i want to kick the 15-17 year old me SO BAD. like OHHH you thought teenage angst was horrible?!?! try having a 9-5 job YOU BITCH… i wanna be you SO FUCKING BAD. why did u wanna grow up SO FAST.

#em talks #like id rather have all that teen angst bullshit over a job PLS LET ME TRADEEEE #the way im willing to go back to my most unhealthy destructive self to avoid a job… #but the self destructive part was kinda fun tho i have responsibilities now i can tbe like that😔😔😔

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#head instructor to the TAs in the lab section i TA for: how r u guys feeling abt the workload? #me who hasnt graded anything since week 1 and spent an hr that morning filling out a patient safety plan: 🙃 #listen. we r experiencing symptoms that make us shitty at our job. which is not helpful for a positive outlook #i was also experiencing horrible cramps at the time bc i lost my ibuprofen and 2 days ago i stopped the birth control in a desperate effort #to stop feeling terrible. but in this moment i feel alright. its wild to go from drastically unhappy to like lol wtf was that? anyway stop #being a bby loser. for no obvious reason. im gonna start the birth control again to see if i get depressed again or if that was just me lol #i dont think my therapist understands the depth of my executive functioning issues tho. bc im a grad student and can meet deadlines. like #let me tell u im a fucking disaster abt starting things. i will go back and forth and get nothing done forever. or i do things halfway and #make everything 30 times more difficult later bc no one else understands how my brain works #ah well. itll b fine. sometimes i just get freaked out that i wanna b better and i dont kno how to do that. so i spiral in despair a lil #ill b fine. im good at catching myself before i get too out of control. annoyingly tho i am not currently beating the bip0lar allagations #bc whatever tf is wrong with me i do probably fit the diagnostic criteria for bip0lar 2. i dont kno y that freaks me out so much. i guess #its bc it feels like something i cant just make better thru force of will and i grew up in a home that was very obsessively #health conscious to the point my dad gets anxious abt taking a single ibuprofen. so like ive been conditioned to get freaked out by #medication. literally my grandma will call me and tell me to b suspicious of doctors and to not take medicine unless absolutely necessary. #like lady u r the genetic reason i have 0cd shut the fuck up. also it feels like something that would more negatively affect how ppl think #of u than saying oh yea i get depressed or i have anxiety. like the connotation feels worse im used to just telling ppl whatever tf #my problem is. so the idea of holding something back feels weird. which annoys me bc i dont think there should b so much of a stigma. its #bullshit. anyway idk. im tired. i was trying to think of a comfort tv show with my therapist and all i could think was the terror #when im depressed i wanna watch those English mother fuckers suffer and die. i just lov that show so much. harry g00dsir my beloved. the #most me coded character to ever exist #unrelated

[wabblebees]

.

#have been attempting to make a self-tape for this audition for DAYS #after a whole helluva lotta bullshit having to do with hunting down a time+space+camera to film with i Finally managed to get some takes #then some weird bullshit with the camera's sd card happened where i wasnt able to pull the files off onto my laptop #FINALLY able to copy the files to my laptop. FINALLY able to access playback (the video camera i borrowed wouldnt let me access its gallery #FINALLY watching them... they all kinda suck so far but thats Fine at least i Have Them yk #get to take 7 and its actually not nearly as terrible as the previous 6!! feelin pretty good abt this one!! dont get hopes too high ofc but #i mean hey this ones acceptable if the last few arent any good either & just in case i cant go thru with my plans for tmrw to do a reshoot #so yk i start to rename the file so i can tell which clip it is! #Whole Laptop Crashes #WAHOO #typed this up to avoid freakin out while carefully rebooting her. bbg dont do this to me #luckily i already saved multiple contingency copies just in case (bc ive already had so many issues i was feelin Extra Cautious) #so i at least dont have to worry about dealing with the sd card bullshit Again. ugh #EDITING TO SAY: SHE LIVES!! laptop is fine after powering back up & files are unscathed!! was able to retitle & keep on truckin no problem #god i hate dealing with video as a medium #*this* is why im a stage performer not a screen actor lmao #fuck this shit. juust gimme a floor and an audience and ill make it worrk #cameras are fickle creatures on-par with printer machines #im rly excitednervous abt this audition tho; only submitted my resume+headshot on a whim & didnt rly think anything would come of it #but they contacted me and asked for a tape!! so im like !!!!! okayy sure id love to send that !!! i just have to face The Horrors first #if i dont get it then thats not the end of the world or anyth; but itd be SO FUCKING COOL if my v first submission landed me my first gig!! #so uhh. pls put out a good thought to the universe for my self-tape landing me the chance to perform in this queer play festival !! #bee speaks #🤞🤞🤞

[databent]

[pained wailing emoji]

#.pdf #rd #THE REST OF THIS IS JSUT ME WHINING. FEEL FREE TO IGNORE #i dont wanna go to work ‼️‼️‼️ i feel like i am nearing a breaking point i am sofucking burnt out #every time i go to work. my brain gets Scary at me. stresses me out. dont like it ☹️ #im supposedto be going in tonigjt but im dreading it sososo much #my work hour options have changed from “fully flexible” to “7am-9pm only” whcih yeah i know that doesnt sound that bad. but i have non-24 #(circadian rhythm disorder that makes me sleep progressively later every day circling fully around the clock over ~3 weeks or so) #and bcos of it often i have to force myself out of bed in what my body thinks may as well be the middle of the night just to get to work #and then i dont ever get enough time to recover from that to actually let my sleep fall back into its natural schedule wjich is the only #time i feel properly rested. so essentially im chronically sleep deprived which is making me chronically stressed and way less productive #i just reslly really want to fucking save up a little money and just Not work for a week or two. bjt. with my sleep bullshit i cant really #work enough to be able to put anything aside. at all #so. kind of an unrealistic desire i guess. lol #ive been feeling like this ever since like early january when i was told i ahve to stick to a more normal schedule. & its only getting worse #idont know i just wishthere was something i could do that was fully flexible on timing but also doesnt havw the kind of workload that would- #-stress me out like basically anything with longer-term projects so ykmow Most flexible schedule jobs. #i do have one thing in mind i could do on my own but its dumb and probably wouldnt make much money and has startup costs i cant afford rn..

[dandyshucks]

second life tip in 24 hours: pls do not drift by lunch esp if u have mental health struggles as is, you will suffer the quencies severely T^T

#i ran out of food in the house fhfjdkl bc i did not get groceries last week #so I've been scavenging the last couple days #and rationing stuff before that #and man. I shan't say more but. yeah. the quencies. #sifting thru many articles and studies abt covid also did not help my well-being but i needed to to send to my mother fjfjdl #she finally asked me to show sources when i said some stuff abt how every infection and reinfection heightens ur risk for MORE reinfection #so i had to go thru my stockpile and find some updated stuff to prove that she needs to continue to mask #and anyways fhffjdksl that took a definite hit on my brain for tonight. SIGH #i smile and nod along w so much bullshit but i could not keep my mouth shut on that one #rgrhrhrhh. holding myself back from ranting any more abt any other stuff going on. sigh. #lets just say... i am very tired fjfkdl this is no way to exist but alas!!! it is the cards I must play with !!! #im going to hopefully be able to work on art tonight fingers crossed fjdkdl i Need it fndmkl #vent // #dandy.cmd

[girlwiththegreenhat]

you ever hate on something you've never played/watched/read for what are still moderately good reasons given the circumstances, and then decide to go and play/watch/read the thing just to be fair. just to give it a chance

and then you were not only Right but its Worse Somehow and you're actually just more pissed off now

#liz blogs #vocaloid #this post is about project se\\kai. what a garbage ass replacement of project diva oh my god #i dont care about any of these random ass teenagers why does my vocaloid game have all these other guys in it #why are there 238928934 currencies why does it take so long to unlock new songs its just all too much and so convoluted #i wanted a rhythm game not a rhythm game that takes a backseat to visual novel and gacha game and watch 3298 ads #GET THIS OTHER BULLSHIT OUTTA HERE #i thought rhythm game on a touchscreen was a bad enough idea but i wanted to be FAIR because project diva doesnt get updated anymore #even though that was THE vocaloid game for a fucking decade and they replaced it with hot flaming dogshit oh my god #its just every other fucking mobile game im gonna start biting people #im in my Hater Year but i'm actually fucking right about everything aaaAAAAAAAAA #and look. i didn't play it for too long because it was just too fucking annoying and overwhelming. but it seems like you can only #play x amount of songs in a day before you run out of energy. which you need to Buy #you get more when you level up! it recharges! but it seems that it takes longer and longer to do that #thts the only Complaint i have that i cant actually verify because i would need to play longer and i am Not doing that #but if im right. thats the biggest load of shit of all #just go back to making project diva games. let me pay for the game so i can play interrupted without all this other BS in my face #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #the like... two little visual novel bits i saw that Just had vocaloids in them were cute. i will be real with u. but who are these like #six teams of random ass teenagers i dont know and dont care about. why did u put non vocaloids in da vocaloid game. are you nuts #maybe i just need to figure out how to mod project diva cuz at this point lord knows theyre not doing anything else with it #if you wanted to have other characters sega do u know how many Other vocaloids there are. you didnt have to invent random boring teenagers #pullin a fuckin transformers and backseating your Title Characters to a bunch of random ass humans im not here for #except you charlie watson from bumblebee i love you mwah

[koipalm]

you just reminded me that i need to redownload hades to finish it and get to the epilogue with all the gods (i have 70+ hours on it and i'm not even close). i miss hypnos :( when will his last heart unlock

anon i care about you and your endeavor so so so so much. and now with rhat said i have to tell you this with the heaviest heart. i dont know. i never played that game

#yes its true. im a fake hypnos liker #ask #PLEASE THOUGH.... DONT LET GO OF MY HAND #WE CAN STILL LIKE HYPNOS TOGETHER.... PLEASE! #IF WE WORK HARD ENOUGH WE MIGHT GET A HYPNOS ROMANCE IN THE SECOND GAME. MAYBE #I ALSO MISSED HYPNOS.... #also if you cant tell. im back on my hypnos bullshit #this ask might sound strange but i reallt was number 1 hypnos liker. back in the day #also it was on my old twitter account. so