#ITS BEEN LIKE 3 AND A HALF MONTHS

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Obsessed with how pathetic you make Jim Guangyao look. The hat. I love it.

Don't let the smile and sweet words fool you, Jim Guangyao has lost everything in the divorce, and continues to lose.

#poorly drawn mdzs #mdzs #jin guangyao #mdzs au #modern au #this takes place in the same universe as Alan Zhan btw #I have been waiting for the day I got to meet him....Jim Guangyao..... #I think he won at least one divorce. But also did so under suspicious conditions. #you can 'win' divorce is your ex is dead right? #I like to think he wasn't even in the will and all the money and property went to another relative. #Who did he divorce? That's up to reader interpretation #Jim Guangyao is the busy dad who's never around except on the very rare occasional holiday. He cannot relate to his children #Nobody has ever seen him without his hat. In highschool it was a trilby. He's got baseball cap on in this drawing (I tried). #for casual friday. #He would burn everything at the grill. Half-bad luck and half distracted by work calls #Jim has nothing and no one. Despite this he always seems to land another hot spouse within a few months. #(Its his dimples. They are mesmerizing. You will look at them and sign this will without second thought <3)

[skrrtscree]

Akishinji to me feels like being in love with your best friend in middle school, finally admitting those feelings in your first year at highschool, never feeling so right before everything is wrong again. He disappears afterwards and doesn't even say goodbye, or say your over. Even when you find him, he's distant. Of course he would be, he believes he's a murderer, that he'll hurt anyone that comes too close. You wish he'd come back home with you and ask for your help but he doesn't.

You're stubborn so you keep coming back but he's equally stubborn so he continues you push you away. You're both stuck in this cycle, neither of you want to give in to what the other says so there's not much you can do. You both don't mention what you ha(d)ve, it never comes up. You both stay like this, no new teammate enticing him back until him.

He's still plagued with gulit, he knows this won't help him but the least he can do is protect the kid he unintentionally orphaned. And all of a sudden, you have him back. And it's like he never left. Sure, there is some awkwardness, some things left unsaid between you, he still has problems problems you don't even know about at first and he refuses to elaborate on them but you don't care too much for now. You have him back and you won't lose him again. You can't lose him again.

But the universe isn't kind, you've known this for a long time yet you keep standing strong, you can't falter because then everyone else will.

But he slips away, and you crumble.

#persona #persona 3 #p3 #akishinji #akihiko sanada #shinjiro aragaki #me again hi #sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for most of the month ive been on the art grind #ryomina week is next week and ive actually like half way done i think with my pieces for them #its been a month since i posted anything art related hopefully i can get back soon😭 #but anyways i basically had thoughts abt akishinji and decided to write them down #uh note: im not an akishinji/akihiko expert or anything thats mirus ballpark #im also not obessed with akishinji unlike other ppl in the p3 fandom theyre kinda in the same space as akeshu for me #but i do like the idea of akishinji being ex boyfriends who mever relaly broke up still want eachother but circumstances never let them #like ooh doomed yaoi.. maybe somedayill make one of these posts for every p3 ship who knows😭 #i do have quite a few thoughts on souyos dynamic along with my werid feelings toward the ship itself #anyway byyeee see ya in like 7 dayss #minnitalks

[lovesickeros]

Absolutely love your sagau fic with neuvillette and furina, ur writing is actually insane! Looking forward to reading more of your works :)

YOU!!!! when i find u...count ur days....... /j /lh

#asks #anon #img block #you get to watch me try to salvage my furina fics after 4.2 in real time i am STRESSING abt that part 3 lord help me #i was gonna start introducing more characters and then 4.2 threw a brick at my face and now i have an entire string board of lore #i dont do well with multi chap fics if it isnt obvious i just wanna write my girlfail lesbian wife furina........ #so like ill get there but um. checks watch. its been two months ur gonna be waiting a while #i havent even looked at my chap 3 draft #considering i wrote those fics w half a can of knowledge abt them both though this is extremely good for my ego #horrible for everyone else really but great for me!!! im gonna be more insufferable now :)

[kyuala]

SOOOOOO hard to go through everyday life trying to ignore the never-ending feeling that im just irreparably fucked up and therefore should just give up on everything

#this aint exactly s******* but it aint exactly not s******* either #anyways it gets even harder when i have to live under the same roof as my brother who is so much better than me in every single conceivable #and imaginable way possible like #and i knowwww a LOT of it comes down to us having relatively similar yet wildly different lives despite being 1.5y apart and having the sam #family our entire lives like he has gone through NOTHING and i mean not a single societal issue ive had to face and endure my entire life #he's a man im a woman. he's white im black. he's straight im gay. he's skinny ive always been 'overweight'. he's always been the good #christian kid ive always had issues w faith and religion. he's never been mentally ill i was clinically depressed for nearly 8yrs of my lif #we both lost the same parent and im the only one who got pathological grief and a personality disorder out of it. he's had a great job for #the last 7yrs that now pays him 20k+ every month ive only had 3 odd jobs my entire life and 2 of those my MOTHER had to give me so i would #have SOMETHING and ive never made over 1.6k monthly n my last job was minimum wage only #he's had like 4 relationships and is nearly engaged im so traumatized + emotionally unavailable ive only ever been on 1 date my entire life #he has a good relationship w every family member we have i have Issues w like half the family. he's always been an active member of our #church i can barely listen to like 4 traditional hymns before i start losing my mind and spiraling. i think the only two ways we're pretty #much equal like socially is that we're both able bodied cis and christians but still the cis and christian thing is debatable for previousl #stated reasons so like. do yall see how much better he is doing than me in every little last area in life and how he's always gotten the #long straw when it comes to Not having to deal w certain obstacles in life. n i know its like yea idk what it actually is like to be him an #he could not be doing all that well first of all shut up. second of all if it was 1 or 2 things i'd get it but it's literally EVERYTHING #and i know bc of said things n our v different lives it's unfair to me to compare the two of us but then it begs the question: WHY #WHY did i have to go through these things. WHY do i have to deal w this. WHY did i get the short straw literally every goddamn time #WHY did i have to get THIS life like WHYYYYY why ME GOD. why have I had to put up w all this bullshit for 24 fucking years!!!!!!!!! im TIRE #and this is not me hating or resenting him i know it's not his fault and he is so good to me #but still. why was i left with these things? to live like this? #so yes i guess i do envy him a little bit. who wouldn't #mari.txt #personal #tw negative #dl #btw i do NOT mean some identities are better than others. i mean he is better and is doing better than me in life partially bc he's never #had to deal w certain social issues and obstacles that come w oppressed identities.

[butchviking]

dude i can't believe im going to las vegas to see mcr this is crazy. is this my life now? is this just what i do? follow gerard way around the world? how long can i live like that? by god i think i can do this forever i really do.

#its rent and bills day i just checked my account and got freaked cause im down from where i was last month #i was like how tf did that happen i did like 3 overtimes this paycheck i should definitely be up. #then remembered its bc i bought wwwyf tix for like 400. and im only like 60 quid down. #im killin it thats just one month one ticket one paycheck. and i have NOT been being good and sensible and frugal like i was supposed to #next month i get the saturday ticket too and then two months after that i get my flights. one more maybe for hotels. #and then im all done and its still half a year away. and then i wait... for more show announcements.... #who needs savings who needs to like buy a house or get stupid surgeries or whatever. this is my life now godbless

[straykats]

me worried about exposing my family on here and then realising i literally know none of u guys irl so it doesnt matter ????

#kat talks #kats personal #anyways my cousin - over the last 3 years - has horrowed a GREAT GREAT sum of money from me #and maybe its great to me bc im young and making super bare minimum #but like also. 10k is a lot of money #anyways hes promised multiple times to pay it back and he finally stopped borrowing money last nov #(he promised to pay back and continued to borrow. an endless cycle) #anywahs now hes not even replying to my msgs and its been two months 🙃 #yes its my fault fpr letting him borrow so much #and i shouldnt hsve trusted him that much #but also mans is like. six years older tban me and was an older brother figure #until recent years anyways #so its kinda like 🙃🙃 idk i thought i could trust you 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #needless to say #half the family (cousins) strongly dislikes him for the same reason and then finding out he borrowed that much from me and is ghodting me #ANYWAYS any tips n tricks to grt money back from someone ghostig u would be <3 #+ i thought i could manage and give him time to pay me back but that was this time last year #and o tpld him there might be instances where i need it back ASAP #and he was like yeah he knows and he'll be able to do it #and now bc of whats happening at home and also my own health/medical stuff im like 🫠 horrible time for u to do this to me #also yeah why did i let him borrow that much when i know i wasnt making that much??? #it was a few hundred every few days and weeks with promises of repaying the following week #and i was able to work extra over the holidays but i couldnt the last month #so 🙃 #ARGHHJHZ yes i fucked up but also yes its on him and i know hes being a bad person rn #but also im too scared to further ruin our relationship by speaking up about it/be more aggressive ib my approach to him LOL #literally feel so played rn #like he was very obviously trying to build our relationship and knew exactly how to make me feel closer w him #and i always (and still am ngl) giving him the benefit of the doubt bc yknow. hes family and he wasnt always like this ????

[pardonmystardust]

Shout out to me for being 5 months tobacco free tonight tho

#this last month has been oddly harder than the last couple #not as bad as the first ~6 weeks but yeah #been a lot of tired moments where ''fuck it'' sounded really easy #but i did not #im almost to half a year and that's a satisfying round number #i'll be off the road no later than August and then its only like 3 months to a year after that #i fucking got this

[peri-shambles]

hi i love love love your dw animals post and i think that ianto is a deer or a snow leopard thank you for your time

i have to file this information away for later cause im watching torchwood with my friends are we are so devastatingly horrible at getting our schedules together (read: in 2 and a half months we have only gotten 4 episodes in) but from the like single ianto episode we've seen i can say deer FEELS like it would fit already

#you dont even want to know how long it took to watch the first 4 seasons of nuwho. #Its been a month and a half and weve only seen 3 episodes of 11's run... We wont get to 12 until 2026 at this rate #THANK YOU THOUGHHH for saying this im so glad you like it :D

[bmpmp3]

I NEEED to go back to making art that makes it ABUNDANTLY clear that theres something wrong with my brain BUT NOT in a cool or stylishly interesting way. i need to do it in a way that makes people say "hm." and walk away

#sowwy ive been kinda going through it in my fine arts major rn can u tell HJKSDHKFd #ive been feeling like. scared. and paralyzed by marketability and branding. #i cant stop thinking about how other people will see my art. but not like in a good way #when i was younger i thought about it in a good way. like hee hee hoo hoo the act of looking connected us hee hee #but rn i keep thinking about it in like this wretched like consumer product mindset? ouhhghhhhh el problema es el capitalismo #and like maybe this works for some people. to think like this. to make art like this. its what my professors push me towards #not intentionally. they dont say it out loud at least. im not sure if they know or not some of the irony #my professors are nice and pretty smart and talented and i like em. but sometimes i wonder like. the push for us as students to make like #marketable 'avant garde'? stuff thats safe but pretending to be weird and out there #i dont mean to sound pretentious. in general i play it too safe myself (spent too much time as an edgy 10 year old with my #parents freaking out over my shoulder because they think the fact that i drew an anime character frowning means something serious LOL) #but i dunno man. my least interesting art with the least amount of care thought or effort always gets so much more attention in school #nowhere else oddly. online? people like my more passionate but seemingly frivolous art (oc art etc. not frivolous to me but yknow how it is #same with irl artists and other industry people outside my school. whats going on in my school LOL #i know from experience i cant push myself into a supposedly marketable brand. if i try to make something sell it will not. #i dont know why. maybe theres an invisible essence buyers can tell when i didnt care jkfsldjdfrds #but my teachers LOOOOVE the stuff i put no passion in its so bizarre orz but i gotta relearn how to ignore half of their advice #i used to be better at it. but i also only used to ignore like a quarter of their advice. maybe i need to amp up how much im ignoring #that sounds mean. they have plenty of good advice. but also plenty of advice thats clouded by their own biases #and i gotta relearn how to sort out this stuff again. i forget every few months for some reason #you know i always think ouuhhhhh i act so neurotypical ouhhhhhhhhh im outgoing i talk to strangers all the time i seem confident #im so masked IM SO MASKED but then i go a couple weeks where every conversation i have has people looking at me like #i have two heads and neither of them are speaking their language. and then i descend into madness like this HJKLDSHJDS #i'll be fine i'll figure it out. i need to stop trying to get a good grade in being a 'cutting edge' conventional artist <3 #i need to just. draw my cartoon characters in peace 😔😔😔

[narutomaki]

I hate that I hate doing things in my own dude but it's so fucking boring !!!

#i dont go out to eat and i dont go to the movie theater so like the two biggest Default Hang activities are completely non-options for me #i dont like seeing movies in theatre 1) the local one sucks and 2) i cant sit still for over a half hour in a chair that makes me want to #become an arsonist. #ive been to Fancy Good Fun movie theatres and seen Incredible Higjly Rated films and still been like #20 mins in. is it going to be over soon? can i leave? please? #i like going to the library and shopping and walking down by the river and in the woods #but i also Dont Like The Beach because sand makes me want to become a fucking terrorist and the water safety index thing #sent me on a spiral sooo bad ♡ also im too body conscious to enjoy myself #the public pools okay excepts its expensive and over crowded 100% of the time #rock beachs are good i like swimming i just eugh #i also. dont like going to the gyms indoor pool. #its so fucking echoy in there i get a migraine thinking about it #i do like their sauna tho but. again. priced out of that experience! wahoo! also the stairs there are designed to torture me #i like eating outside i like picnics in theory i just cant get comfortable sitting in like 98% of places for more than like 30 mins. #at some point some part of my body is going to start hurting so bad i want to throw up. #i like playing video games and board games but i dont have any consoles or board games so like. #man. idk! #i hate doing things alone bcus i Was Alone for 3 years with my only social contact being my abusive family #i would speak to them maybe 3 times a month and get out of the house maybe 2 times and #idk! idk its just like! okay! im done being socialy isolated!!! #>every activity that you can do to hang out with people is unappealing to me or causes me physical damage #😭 okay nvm!!!

[diah-the-demon]

what is it with etsy packages and not arriving on time

#this package is like a week and a half late </3 #i have been talking with the person who sent it and they said they can either refund me or send another one once its the 20th #(since that would've been a month after ordering. which is the longest its been for one of their packages to arrive before) #just feel that when i ask for a refund or resend its going to arrive right as i send the fucking message #im gonna wait till tmr before making any decisions just to be sure

[this-doesnt-endd]

I dont need these things but i wanna get those like finger pulse oxygen readers and the like blood pressure wrist cuffs. I dont need them i go to dr appts all the time and ive never had issues but like all of a sudden i feel like i really need them and i need to know these stats daily

#we technically have a blood pressure cuff my mom wanted one and then we kept it around before we knew i had sezuires cause we #were worried cause id just have episodes and nearly black out so my dad had me check it a lot #but its the arm one and i dont know how to use it #also ive been like worried a lot lately abt getting seziures which idk why cause theyve been very controlled for like year n half 2yrs now #so theres no reason i should be concerned but i am and i think taking my vitals everyday would make me feel much better #cause like nevermind the fact i havent had a deep breath in like 5 years and im constantly lifting like many many pounds of stuff #all at once all day long and like getting a workout essentially my slightly elevated heart rate means im just gonna like #drop to the floor n black out or like explode or something like theres no reason i need to be taking my pulse like 10 times a day #but it makes me feel better and i will give into that #much like spraying my house with lysol constantly or having to do my door lock routine like 3 times a night it makes me feel better #and i will totally give into that #like thats relatively normal i feel like #i wore a watch for like 2 months straight cause in my mind that was the only thing preventing nuclear war and like i dont wear watches #like that but alas i had to cause im built different (incorrectly) and it was my job to prevent nuclear war #wow im so normal about everything

[steeleyespan]

in my stupid bastard era i dont kehn anything. And i cant fucking read

#literally need text to speech to read anything atm #like it speaks it while i read along #otherwise i am not focusing on that shit at all i will be reading the same paragraph 3 times #Why this happen man will literally read like half a book in 2 days then no touch it for a month+ #knitting or crochetinf not hitting. Ive been needle felting but its like doing it for one day almost constantly then losing interest #also in not good enough at it yet for people to know ive been needle felting. I never said that

[dandyshucks]

sighs wistfully... guz.ma bedhead.......

#u can tell im having a very bad fatigue day bc all i can think abt are like. sleep and cuddling related things dhfjdkl #i spent approximately half the day lying down fjdkdl its been not excellent. most heinous. bogus even SDBDJFL #i should watch bill and ted again.... (<- just rewatched it twice last month) #anywho i am thinking abt his silly fluffy hair and how messy it'd be esp if he went to bed with damp hair #and i think he'd enjoy if i played with it :3 im also a sucker for having my own hair played with but fjdkdl i would like to pet his hair... #and his soft happy content expression he'd have .... OUGGHHHH. hitting me right in the heart SNDJLSL #dandy.cmd #💜so good at being in trouble

[knightsquire]

I don't think enough ppl realise Yaz would've been like 24/25ish maybe even older by the time she left she didn't stay 19 that whole time you know that right

#1 year maybe 1 year and a half to 2 years #before the 10 months they were missing the doctor for #and then unspecified time alone with the doctor before 3 years in the past with dan and jericho #yasmin khan #doctor who #dw #its just disingenuous to say she was 19 physically she could not have been bdbdb #could also say the same for rose like she was not 19 that whole time

[truthundressing]

hi im having a lil tumblr break but im leaving u with these pics of my bunny looking flat as fuck😭

#literally had 5 life altering events happen in the last month and a half so #not really feeling like being online or really caring abt fandom stuff rn #but im sure I'll be backsoon hehe #in the meantime enjoy my old man daniele <3 #hes not very well at the moment so hes getting lots of attention and cuddles and my mum went out this weekend so im in full nurse mode #but i have literally been cry laughing at these pictures all afternoon lmaoooooo like look at himmmm #flat fuck friday but its saturday oops #also yes im in a dressing gown im in my cosy boy era😌💟 also its good to keep him all wrapped up and warm #skfjsjsk n e way luv u see u all soon <3