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cheemers-writing-archive · 3 years

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Crusader of Life 2: Chapter 20

As Kira walked to his new home, his mind was racing. The image of a girl who ridiculed him at the train station was stuck in his head. Kira wanted to show this girl the real him, even at the cost of being discovered. Just as he was about to turn around and follow that girl back, though, someone tapped him on the arm. As he turned around, he was met with a young girl, probably still in high school, with a paper in her hand.

“Excuse me,” she said. “My name is Emiko, and my class is doing a research project where we have to survey people for it. Would you mind helping me out?”

Kira thought about it. It wouldn’t be wise to give information about himself to anyone, even if they were innocently collecting data for a project. But what if Emiko knew Kosaku, and she knew that he would be up for a short interview? In the end, Kira decided to go ahead and let the girl ask him questions.

“Of course,” he replied.

“Great!” Emiko chimed. “So, to start off, what’s your name?”

So, this girl didn’t know Kosaku after all, Kira said to himself. “Kosaku Kawajiri.”

“Age?”

“Thirty.”

“Are you married?”

“Yes.”

“Any kids?”

“One.”

“Okay, now on to some other questions,” Emiko muttered. “Did you know a man by the name of Yoshikage Kira? He went missing a few days ago.”

Kira felt a chill down his spine. “No, I don’t know anyone of that name.” To his relief, Emiko shrugged and started to leave.

“Ah, well, thank you for your time… Kira.”

The gasp. The gasp confirmed it for Emiko. She had said that line to many others, only for them to ask why she would call them by the missing man’s name. She really had no clue if this was Kira, until he gasped as if she had figured him out. Rohan’s intuition about this man was right.

“I hope you’re not thinking that you’ll be able to relay this information to anyone before you’ve been disposed of,” Kira said. “Killer Queen has already touched your shirt.”

However, when Kira looked again, Emiko seemed like she had disappeared. No time to waste, he thought to himself. I can deal with her exploding in a large crowd easier than I can deal with her telling anyone about who I am.

“I’ve figured out who it is!” Emiko screamed. She teleported to Rohan’s house with sweat down her face. “Yoshikage Kira’s new identity is Ka-”

Before Emiko finished, cracks formed all across her body, emitting light. In an instant, she exploded right in front of Rohan’s eyes, leaving behind nothing to prove she even existed, other than the memories others had with her. Even the paper she held was completely gone.

Rohan dipped his head down and gritted his teeth. “At least she didn’t die in vain,” he said to himself. “I’ll tell Jotaro we have a small scrap of more information.”

***

“Daddy, look!” Emily squealed. “I made a tower without Sunshine!”

“You did?” Kakyoin looked back. Sure enough, the tower of blocks wasn't too high for Emily’s hands to reach, like it usually was. “Great job, Emily!” He ruffled the little girl’s hair and sat down to give her a hug. However, the moment he outstretched his arms, the telephone rang. Kakyoin sighed, then summoned Hierophant to give Emily a hug while he went to answer the phone.

“Hello?”

We have more information on Kira, said Jotaro’s voice.

Kakyoin sat down in the nearest chair. “Go on.”

He took another life, but this time we have more information. We know his new family name starts with Ka. And, luckily for us, our prime suspect’s family name is Kawajiri. His full name is Kosaku Kawajiri.

“Kosaku Kawajiri,” Kakyoin mumbled the name.

We’re going to ask Kawajiri’s son, Hayato, a few questions tomorrow.

Kakyoin hummed in response. “I’ll be there, for sure. I’m not sure of what I’ll do with Emily, though.”

Josuke can come pick her up, probably, Jotaro replied.

“Got it,” Kakyoin said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” The second he hung up, Emily lifted herself up to her father’s shoulders.

“I want a Daddy hug,” she giggled.

Kakyoin smiled as he pulled Emily around to his front. Tomorrow, this would end once and for all.

***

The next morning, Kakyoin woke up with his foot asleep as the alarm clock played a cheery tune on the radio. He woke up, chose some clothes for the day, then cracked open Emily’s door. Kakyoin checked the time on the clock in her room. It was 8:10 and 15 seconds when he nudged the girl awake.

“Good morning, Daddy,” Emily yawned.

“Morning, girlie,” Kakyoin smiled.

As Kakyoin helped Emily pull her shirt over her head, she kept rambling about a dream she had. “And then I turned into a superhero and I stopped the evil bees from drinking all of the milk!”

“Sounds like you had an exciting night,” Kakyoin chuckled. Once he was done getting her dressed, they both set out to where Jotaro told them to meet. After only two blocks, Emily complained that she was tired, so Kakyoin lifted her up on his shoulders. When they finally arrived, Kakyoin noticed Rohan’s car completely open, yet no sign of the man in sight. He furrowed his eyebrows. “Emily, can you lift me up, please?” he asked. “I need to see more of the area.”

Emily nodded, then summoned Walking on Sunshine and sent Kakyoin in the air as far as she could.

Now Kakyoin was concerned. He saw Jotaro and Koichi making their way down, but no Rohan. “Thank you, Emily,” he called out. “Can you let me down now?” In an instant, gravity took over Kakyoin’s body as he landed feet first on the ground.

As Emily floated back up to her father’s shoulders, a young boy walked down the sidewalk. He stared straight down with his eyes wide.

“Kira…” he muttered to himself. “So that’s his name.”

Although Kakyoin didn’t hear the boy say anything, Emily did. “Ki… ra?”

“What was that, Emily?” Kakyoin asked.

“Kira!” Emily repeated. “Daddy, he said Kira!”

Sweat started pouring down the boy’s face. “I-I-I didn’t say Ki-Kira,” he said as calmly as possible. “I don’t know a-anybody with that n-name.”

“Ah, sorry to bother you with my girl here,” Kakyoin chuckled. “I might have been repeating that name a little too much, so she thinks everyone says it.”

The boy let out a sigh of relief, but instantly let it back in when he heard Emily scream.

“Daddy, there’s something in my eye!” She was swatting at the air, crying.

“Don’t worry, girlie,” Kakyoin smiled. He lifted Emily down from his shoulders, but by the time he did, canyons of light were already carving into her face as it split apart.

“Daddy!” Emily screamed, and she exploded in Kakyoin’s arms, leaving him screaming in both pain and anguish, before he jolted up in his bed.

Was… was that just a dream? No, it seemed all too real, down to the pain from his arms being blasted off. Kakyoin threw his covers off as he leaped out of bed, but he slammed down on the floor face-first. His foot was asleep, and so he lost footing. When his radio turned on, it played the same cheery tune it played in his dream. After some careful wobbling to Emily’s bedroom door, he flung it open.

There she was, little Emily, curled up in her bed, sleeping soundly. Kakyoin sighed, and crumpled to the floor as the fear that overtook his body subsided.

“Good morning, Daddy,” Emily yawned. She woke up at 8:10, with fifteen seconds on the clock. “I had a funny dream last night.”

Now, Kakyoin was getting a little nervous. “What was the dream?”

“A bunch of bad bees wanted to drink all of the milk in our fridge,” Emily started. Kakyoin didn’t listen to the rest, as it was the same as his dream.

Was it a dream? he asked himself. There’s no way that all of these weird coincidences are just that. Could it be that I saw the future?

Does this mean that I lose Emily?

Kakyoin shook those thoughts out of his mind. Right now, Emily was safe and sound, and the two were about to leave to meet up with everyone else.

“Daddy, my legs are tired,” Emily whined. They were two blocks away from the hotel. Now Kakyoin’s heart was thumping. When he got to the meeting place, there was, once again, Rohan’s car, but no Rohan.

No, no, Emily’s going to be fine, Kakyoin told himself. She has to be.

Without warning, he started to float in the air. Looking down at Emily, he saw that she wasn’t even paying attention to him. Walking on Sunshine wasn’t even summoned. And just as quickly as he was let up, he dropped back down to the floor.

“Oopsie,” Emily giggled. “Sorry.” She used Sunshine to climb back on to her father’s shoulders, just like in the dream.

The boy should be arriving now, right? Kakyoin asked himself. He seemed to have triggered something when she repeated Kira’s name from him.

Kakyoin waited, but at the time the boy should have arrived, he didn’t. Kakyoin sighed with relief, but regretted it when he heard the shrill shrieks of his daughter.

“Daddy, there’s something in my eye!” Emily screamed. The exact same words she said before she exploded in Kakyoin’s dream.

“Don’t worry, Emily,” Kakyoin said with sharpened breaths. However, when he lifted the girl off of his shoulders, the exact same cracks of light were formed in her face. She even screamed in the exact same way before blowing up, leaving Kakyoin with the exact same explosion wounds. In fact, the only difference this time was that the day kept going.

Kakyoin was too shocked to say a word. He sat with his head turning, trying to process everything. Emily, the last member of his family, and his only daughter, was dead, plus his damaged nerves had yet to fully take in the pain from the explosion. And yet, even with both the pain in his arms and the pain in his heart, his mind was more focused on the premonition he had in his dream.

“No, premonitions are more vague than that, right?” he asked himself. “I don’t know, I’ve never had one, but it feels like that actually happened, like it wasn’t just a dream. Maybe the day actually repeated. Could I be-”

“Stuck in a time loop?” the boy from the past loop finished.

Kakyoin gasped, and turned his head to the boy. It looked like he remembered the morning repeating, as well.

“Don’t ask me anything about him!” he exclaimed. “You’ll suffer the same fate as your daughter.”

Kakyoin nodded. “Got it. Forgive me if I’m mistaken, but you’re Hayato, right?”

“Yes, sir,” Hayato nodded. “You did hear his name in the last time loop, right? Not from me, but from the girl.”

“I heard it loud and clear,” Kakyoin said, “but I know not to repeat it.” He winced a little bit and tightened his teeth as a wave of pain flowed through what was left of his arms.

“Oh, do you need to go to the hospital?” Hayato asked. “I have some coins if you-”

“No, that’s okay,” Kakyoin heaved. “I have a friend who can heal me coming here soon.”

“But… how do you remember… you know?” Hayato wondered. “I don’t know how many clue words really count, so I have to stay really vague.”

“Got it,” Kakyoin nodded. “I think it has to do with my soul’s energy hanging on to someone important to me. The same thing happened with Reimi, the ghost in the alley, and… another ghost who’s important to a certain guy.”

Hayato nodded in understanding.

“Mr. Kakyoin!” Koichi’s voice called out. Kakyoin turned to see the boy and Jotaro walking by.

“Who’s that?” Jotaro asked.

“It’s Hayato, but don’t go asking any questions about his father,” Kakyoin answered. “One mention of Kosaku being Kira and we’ll all be blown up.”

Jotaro and Koichi both gasped.

“But…” Koichi started, “why did you say something?”

“It only works when he says it,” Kakyoin replied. “I could tell you everything if I wanted to.”

“And why are you not?” Jotaro raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I thought we should wait for Josuke and Okuyasu to get here.”

“But what about Rohan?” Koichi added.

“Well…” Kakyoin looked down at Hayato, who nodded his head with guilty eyes, then looked back up and sighed. “I didn’t see it myself, but I assume Rohan is dead.”

“Rohan is dead?” Josuke exclaimed. He and Okuyasu had just turned the corner.

It was then that Kakyoin explained what happened. He described the new ability in detail, as well as how he figured out about it.

“So, both Hayato and I are trapped in a time loop,” Kakyoin finished. Everyone stood in silence for a little bit, until Jotaro spoke again.

“You seem really calm for someone who just lost their child.”

“Well, that’s because I haven’t lost her yet,” Kakyoin replied. “If I ask just one question to Hayato about Kosaku, then this morning will repeat, and Emily will be back again. Of course, I should probably tell him that we need Kira dead to break the loop, but that I’ll help him.”

Hayato froze. “No, no please not another one of these,” he shuddered. “I can’t… I can’t do it!”

“Someone needs to let Hayato know that although I can’t talk to him directly, I believe he has the ability to break the loop. There’s only one question I need answered to get there in time. I need him to tell me the last time he saw his father this morning, and where.”

Hayato gulped, then closed his eyes with tears going down his face. “My father will arrive at eight twenty five to watch Rohan die with me!” he sobbed. “Please come at that time to help catch him!”

The boy didn’t need to open his eyes, because he could hear the sounds of explosions happening all around him. However, before he looped back to the morning, he heard one voice call out.

“I’ll make sure to help you kill Kira.”

As he dissolved into dust, Kakyoin jerked awake in his bed once again. His leg was asleep, as usual, but he was filled with a new fire. The minute he felt his leg tingling with feeling again, he threw his covers off and very messily got himself ready. It didn’t matter how neat he looked if Emily was lost forever.

Instead of the time fate was to wake Emily up, Kakyoin was able to wake her up at 8:04. He heard the dream story about the bees for the third time as he got his daughter dressed in something different than what he chose the last two time loops, simply out of spite. They were both out the door with plenty of time to spare, and Kakyoin started with Emily on his shoulders, both for time convenience and to prove to himself that he wasn’t bound to fate.

“Daddy, why are we going so fast?” Emily asked.

“I have something important to do,” he replied through huffs. “Could you float a little so I can go faster, please?”

“Okay,” Emily said.

Meanwhile, just around the corner, Kira was hiding behind a tree, watching Hayato bend down and reach inside of his backpack. The little brat had a fierce determination in his stride out the door, and Kira didn’t want him getting away with anything. However, the longer he stood behind that tree, the more desperate Hayato’s eyes were becoming.

No, he said he’d be here, right? Hayato thought to himself. Did this last time loop make him forget everything?

Just as Kira was going to step out behind the tree, seeing the defeat painted on the boy’s face, he suddenly stopped breathing. Sure, his stomach was moving in and out, but the old air wasn’t escaping, and new air wasn’t entering.

“I’m glad I got here before Rohan was killed,” Kakyoin said. He appeared from the corner, and Kira finally took notice of the green strings encasing his mouth and nose. “Now, you have two options: you can die of suffocation, and all effects of your time loop bomb will cease to exist, or you can undo the bomb placed on Hayato and fight me.”

“Mr. Kakyoin!” Hayato said. He let out a heavy sigh, but before he could smile, he asked, “Where’s Emily?”

“She’s with Rohan, right around the corner,” Kakyoin answered. “I asked him to do some babysitting while I took care of some things.”

Kira was slowly blacking out. He thought that if he could hold on just a little bit longer, someone would have blown up, but he was about to reach his limit. With a raging heart, he removed Bites the Dust from Hayato and chopped the strings on Hierophant. A loud yelp escaped Kakyoin’s mouth, and Hayato gasped.

“Don’t worry,” Kakyoin grinned through clenched teeth. “I only had to sacrifice my pinky fingers for that. It hurts, but I can still fight.”

This might be the worst possible situation for me, Kira thought to himself. My Killer Queen isn’t well matched against Kakyoin’s Hierophant Green. Running isn’t an option, either, because then Kakyoin and Hayato could get reinforcements.

While Kira was accessing the situation, Kakyoin had readied Hierophant for an Emerald Splash. Before the gems could hit Kira, however, he blocked them with Killer Queen, but the impact still made him stagger backward and fall. The moment the attack ended, Kakyoin grabbed Hayato’s hand and sprinted the other direction, wincing a bit at the slight movement of his pinky. When he turned the corner, Jotaro and Koichi were waiting with Rohan and Emily.

“Run!” he told everyone. “We need to get out of here to plan!” Hierophant picked up Emily and placed her on her father’s shoulders as everyone else followed suit.

“Wait, Mr. Kakyoin, listen to me!” Hayato begged. “There was something in my backpack that would help him!”

“There’s no time to get it back,” Kakyoin replied. “Kira probably has it now, anyway.”

“How are we going to tell Josuke and Okuyasu where to meet now?” Jotaro asked.

“We can’t,” Kakyoin said. “For all we know, they could have already run into Kira. We’ll just have to fight without them.”

After everyone was completely out of breath, they all huddled into the largest shop they could find, then went to the very back. Kakyoin let Emily down from his shoulders.

“Okay,” Kakyoin heaved. “Hayato, tell us about the thing in your backpack.”

“It…” Hayato started, “it’s hard to understand what exactly it is. It’s a plant, but also a cat, I think. It’s only conscious when sunlight is hitting it, and it makes air bubbles, but it can control the air bubbles. These bubbles have the power to kill, and I know this because I was almost killed by it. I brought it because if Mr. Kakyoin wasn’t going to show up, then I was going to try to kill him.”

When Hayato was done explaining, everyone hummed in acknowledgement.

“We should assume Kira can turn these air bubbles into bombs,” Jotaro said.

“Wait, Mr. Kakyoin, what happened to your fingers?” Koichi asked.

“It was a small price to pay to gain the upper hand,” he smiled. “It sure hurts, though. Enough about me, what about Kira?”

“We’ll want to know where he is before we attack,” Rohan added. “Wandering around aimlessly means he could find us before we find him.”

“Hierophant can take care of that,” Kakyoin said.

“We have to stay away from those air bubble bombs,” Hayato continued. “But how?”

“I can stop time for up to five seconds,” Jotaro replied. “If we stick close together, I can pull us all out of the way just as Kira sets the bomb off. I can also be the one to land the final hit, but in order to do that, I’ll need some help. Koichi, if you use Act 3 on Kira, especially if you make that cat plant unusable, I can get close enough without worrying about the bombs.”

“What about me?” Emily asked.

“Rohan will look after you,” Kakyoin smiled.

“Me?” Rohan glared over.

“We need somebody to stay with her,” Kakyoin replied. “Can’t you write in that she can’t harm you, anyway? That means she can’t pull any mischief with Sunshine on you.”

Rohan sighed. “Fine. I’ll look after the Hayato brat, too, since I’ve been appointed the babysitter.”

“Okay, now that we know what we’re going to do, I’ll search for Kira,” Kakyoin said. He called out his Stand, then sent it down into the floor. As Hierophant searched the city, everyone else stood around, waiting.

“I hope Josuke and Okuyasu are okay,” Koichi said, breaking the silence.

“If I know anything about Josuke, it’s that he can survive anything, so long as you make fun of that boot on top of his head,” Rohan muttered. Hayato suppressed a laugh.

“Ro… Rohan,” Emily quietly said.

“What is it?”

“My feet are tired.”

“Emily, you ask nicely, remember?” Kakyoin added.

“Oh, sorry,” Emily murmured. “Can you carry me, please?”

Rohan looked at the girl for a couple of seconds, then rolled his eyes. “Sure. Come on.”

“Thank you!” Emily chimed. As Rohan picked her up, he silently had her look at Heaven’s Door. Her form went limp as her face opened up into a book.

“Hey!” Koichi exclaimed.

“What?” Rohan replied. “Kakyoin said that I could make Emily unable to hurt me. That’s all I’m doing.”

“If you write anything else in, I’m not afraid to make a scene,” Jotaro threatened.

“I found him!” Kakyoin said, a little too loud for a crowded area. Everyone looked back at him. “He’s in the same place where he was before we starting running, with Josuke and Okuyasu! Okuyasu is fainted right now, but Josuke’s still in the-”

Kakyoin’s face instantly went grim. Everyone else gulped.

“What happened?” Jotaro asked.

“Okuyasu…” Kakyoin shuddered, “Okuyasu just died.”

#Crusader of Life #oc insert #jjba #diamond is unbreakable

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fangirlfindsf1 · 6 months

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Watch Daniel Ricciardo on YouTube Music

youtube

Wow what a veritable bop!

#daniel ricciardo #f1 2023 #formula 1 #f1 #sweat sweat #athlete sweat #high performance athlete sweat #pinaccle of human high performance #ki ki ki ra ra #what a cutie #Youtube

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misspaddockverse · 1 year

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I think we, as a society, are not paying enough attention to Daniel.JPG today’s post. A big smile right on the first picture??? After yesterday? Come on, the man is glowing! Let’s do better, guys

#daniel ricciardo #f1blr #f1 #bahrain gp 2023 #danny ric redemption holidays #ric nation at peace at last #ki ki ki ra sweat sweat

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utagoe · 4 years

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Zenryoku Shounen: Bravery Lyrics

Kanji, romaji and English translation for Bravery by Yuzuru, Sena, Rihito, Key, Taiga, and Toa

(kanji source)

求め合う（Bravery）舌先で（Bravery）知り尽くして、 Just Ah

追い付きそうで　追い付かないYour Ballad 刺激が欲しくて、仕掛けた罠の中

生き急いでる　その目の中、Fever ハジけあう光彩（ライト）　家族には言えない

確かめ合えば、溺れてく　ふたりの汗が　噴き出して戻れない　路へ

崩れかけてる　腰元に　「if」を何回も、突っ込んでボクという　不確かな　パズルを　う・め・て・い・く

勇気のBody、重ねて見て？幾つもの味、手にする

Yeah　運命すら、泳がせるテク口元で　気障に披露（みせ）て

打ち寄せてる　「自制心」は置いておけよ　そうだろう？

Yeah　隠してた　寂しさの先理論値に　程遠い　It's My Bravery——————……

求め合う（Bravery）舌先で（Bravery）知り尽くして、 Just Ah

溜息ばかり　黄昏がFeature 羨んだ先で、極小（なけなし）の涙を

人とは違う　何かなら　鏡の裏を　見てみれば？映らない　ものを

混ざりたい夜　踊り出す　隠し切れない　言葉達キミという　新しい　パズルを　と・き・あ・か・す

勇気のBody、信じあえば？託せない愛、託して

Yeah　滑稽なほど、揺ぎ無いMagic 指先で　宣告（つきつ）けてよ

ありきたりな　「自尊心」はひた隠せよ、そうだろ？

So　幾つかの　喜びの先貫いたものだけを　It's Your Bravery——————……

あやふやに　出来ないさ、ふたりの　こ・れ・か・ら・を！

勇気のBody、重ねて見て？幾つもの味、手にする

Yeah　運命すら、泳がせるテク口元で　気障に披露（みせ）て

打ち寄せてる　「自制心は」置いておけよ　そうだろう？

Yeah　隠してた　寂し��の先理論値に　程遠い　It's My Bravery——————……

Romaji

motomeau (Bravery) shitasaki de (Bravery) shiri tsukushite, Just Ah

oitsukisou de oitsukanai Your Ballad shigeki ga hoshikute, shikaketa wana no naka

iki isoideru sono me no naka, Fever hajikeau raito kazoku ni wa ienai

tashikame aeba, oboreteku futari no ase ga fukidashite modorenai michi e

kuzure kaketeru koshimoto ni "if" wo nankai mo, tsukkonde boku to iu futashika na pazuru wo u-me-te-i-ku

yuuki no Body, kasanete mite? ikutsumo no aji, te ni suru

Yeah unmei sura, oyogaseru teku kuchimoto de kiza ni misete

uchiyoseteru "jiseishin" wa oiteokeyo sou darou?

Yeah kakushiteta samishisa no saki rironchi ni hodotooi It's My Bravery

motomeau (Bravery) shitasaki de (Bravery) shiri tsukushite, Just Ah

tameiki bakari tasogare ga Feature urayanda saki de, nakenashi no namida wo

hito to wa chigau nanika nara kagami no ura wo mite mireba? utsuranai mono wo

mazaritai yoru odoridasu kakushi kirenai kotobatachi kimi to iu atarashii pazuru wo to-ki-a-ka-su

yuuki no Body, shinji aeba? takusenai ai, takushite

Yeah kokkei na hodo yuruginai Magic yubisaki de tsuki tsuketeyo

arikitari na "jisonshin" wa hita kakuseyo, sou daro?

So ikutsuka no yorokobi no saki tsuranuita mono dake wo It's Your Bravery

ayafuya ni dekinai sa, futari no ko-re-ka-ra-wo!

yuuki no Body, kasanete mite? ikutsumo no aji, te ni suru

Yeah unmei sura, oyogaseru teku kuchimoto de kiza ni misete

uchiyoseteru "jiseishin" wa oiteokeyo sou darou?

Yeah kakushiteta samishisa no saki rironchi ni hodotooi It's My Bravery

English

Wanting each other (Bravery) Fully knowing (Bravery) One another with our tongues, Just Ah

I feel like I'll finally catch up with Your Ballad, but don't Wanting some stimulus, I'm inside the trap you've set

Inside those eyes that live in a hurry, there's Fever You can't tell your family about the light we burst together

We're drowning after our assurance - Our sweat gushes out As we follow a path we can't return from

I thrust "if" into the crumbling maid time and time again And bury this unclear puzzle called "me"

Try and overlap your bold Body with mine I take many different flavours into my hands

Yeah, a technique that leaves even fate at large Show me that smugness with your mouth

Just leave that attacking "Self-control" behind - Isn't that right?

Yeah, beyond that hidden loneliness We're far away from theoretical values - It's My Bravery

Wanting each other (Bravery) Fully knowing (Bravery) One another with our tongues, Just Ah

Nothing but sighs, the twilight is a Feature There's a very small tear beyond envy

If you think you're different from everyone else, what about you look behind the mirror? For something that can't be reflected

Words we can't hide begin to dance on the night when we want to be merged I solve this new puzzled called "you"

What about we believe in each other's bold Bodies? Entrusting a love that can't be entrusted

Yeah, this Magic is so firm it's funny Thrust your fingertips at me

Cover up your ordinary "Self-respect" - Isn't that right?

So, beyond several delights There are only the ones who went through - It's Your Bravery

I can't do it vaguely, What's coming up for us!

Try and overlap your bold Body with mine I take many different flavours into my hands

Yeah, a technique that leaves even fate at large Show me that smugness with your mouth

Just leave that attacking "Self-control" behind - Isn't that right?

Yeah, beyond that hidden loneliness We're far away from theoretical values - It's My Bravery

#zenryoku shounen tachi no outa #zenryoku shonen tachi no outa #cd best time #request #yuki yuzuru #aoi shouta #tachibana sena #masuda toshiki #shishikura key #hanae natsuki #kisaragi rihito #yamashita daiki #saeki taiga #saito soma #sakuraba toa #umehara yuichiro #zenryoku shounen

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unrequitedmime · 5 years

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He doesn't move from his spot on the bed, watching the rhythm my fingers seem to fall into as I plait my hair. It's getting too long. I need to cut it. "I'm going to cut it," I announce, eyes flickering to his in the mirror. He doesn't look away from my chocolate strands. "Don't," His voice is soft, distant. He is lost in his head again. I turn to him, hands on hips, mouth ready to utter the words that I have been aching to release. "Gabriella," His tone changes so fast, but then again, it always does. I never see the shift coming- the transition from doting boy to Explosives Commander. "Don't cut it." The words, as they somehow always do, deflate inside of my chest. They sputter to dust, and only I can hear them dissolving in the wind. We stare at each other for a few moments in the silence of my dorm. He looks away first. He always does. He always glances down at his shoes, or drag his eyes to a wall, or finds someone in a passing crowd to catch gazes with. Now his eyes fall upon my strands again. Perfectly plaited. As usual. The way he likes it. The door opens. My head whips to the person in my doorway, glare ready, heat burning. No one enters my dorm without knocking. Taja stares back at me, black eyes hard as steel today. "Knock," Is all I say. "Let's go," She almost snaps. She closes the door with a whoosh, and Grayson flinches as it slams. I do not, but the fire inside of me burns a little hotter. I try to settle the flames in my gut, because I understand. Taja is afraid today. I will not burn her. I say nothing as I scoop up my daggers and slip them into the dozen pockets of my brown cargo pants, flipping them around my fingers as I slide a few into my boots and one into my bra. Grayson remains on the end of my bed, watching not with curiosity, but with disapproval. "You're going to cut yourself if you put too many in." I spare him a glance as I slide the last two up the sleeves of my gloves. Black gloves. Everyone hates my gloves. They are the colour of evil, of the enemy. I don't care. I like them. "Only if I don't place them right." "How do you know if you're placing them right?" The curiosity comes out now; the inquisitive mind making gentle waves. "If I don't cut myself." I flick off my lights the same time I flick on my lamp, and the soft red light oozes into my walls. Half of Grayson's face is hidden in the shadows as he stands. He hates the light, too. But I love it. I turn it on when I leave for missions, and I turn it off when I come back alive. It is a reason to come home. Despite Taja's harsh impatience, I do not move as Grayson makes his way over to me. Together we stand in the near darkness, skin awash in blood red. His hand finds my neck and slides up to my cheek. Despite the words I wanted to scream just a few moments ago, I lean into his touch. "You know the rules," He whispers. "Don't be stupid," I whisper back. "That includes dying." "Dying for this cause is stupid?" His kiss is soft, and I almost sigh into the gentle caress of his lips. "Dying for this cause is the best way to die," He breathes, "But we should do it together one day. When we're both ready." Die together. One day. When we're ready. I don't think I'll ever be ready to die. "Sounds like a plan." "Great. It's a date, then." -------------------------------------------------------------- I do not look into the eyes of the man I plunge my knife into, but I do whisper a prayer to Reja as he slumps against my body. I let him drop and I continue on through the warehouse, body alert, blood pumping. The adrenaline races through my veins, but I stay calm as I turn into a hallway between the two warehouses. My steps are almost silent. I ignore the sound of gunfire below me, the smell of blood and gun powder that stings my nostrils. The dust coats my ugly plait, but almost blends in with the light browns of my uniform. Where is Raki? He should be back with Anastasia by now. I check my watch; identical to the rest of the team's watches to the very second. He is two minutes late. Raki is usually late, but this one is cutting it fine. Nothing to do but wait. I slip into a side office and begin to count the seconds. I do not focus on the screams of the Fiors, or the voices of my team as they call out to each other. They are strong, they are smart, they are fast. They are not my responsibility in this mission. Anastasia is. My spy. She has been gone for two months, undercover in the mouth of the beast itself; a Rensha camp. It took two months for them to realise her heart did not belong to their gods, but by then she had already disappeared. If we don't get her back to Base today, we will lose some of the most valuable information the Crade has ever gathered. I check my watch again. Five minutes late. Fucking hell, Raki. It takes two more minutes for me to find them. Three corridors away. My eyes fall on Raki's familiar mop of curls as I turn the corner and I swear. "Dammit, Raki-" And then I see the blood. It pours from his leg in rivers. The ruby red blood falls like a waterfall from my best friend. His head whips up at the sound of my voice, and there is a fever in his dark eyes that I have never seen before. It is real fear. Sweat coats his caramel skin, dampens his curls, beads on his top lip. "Hi, Angel," He grunts, quickening his pace despite the wound on his thigh. I say nothing as I sprint to him, gathering myself up under his arm and taking on his weight. I glance across his chest at Anastasia. She stares back at me, dirt stained but alive and unharmed. "What happened?" I almost growl, mind racing. How the fuck are we going to get out of this one, Raki? Anastasia opens her mouth to respond, but Raki's voice cuts her off, "Don't," He spits the word at her as if it is a curse. He glances down at me as we turn the corner, just a little bit closer to the meeting point. "She thinks the Rensha have a tracker on her voice." I stare at Anastasia for another moment before nodding my understanding. She nods back. How the hell are we supposed to get her information if she cannot say the words? "What happened then?" I ask Raki, almost demanding, "What did you do?" He laughs at the accusatory tone, "I shot myself in the fucking leg, Gabi. Just for shits and gigs." ' I only glare back. We fall silent and focus on moving my blood stained best friend to safety. Two more turns until we are at the checkpoint. Two more corridors. "Keep walking, Ki," I whisper, "Please keep walking." I almost laugh when we turn the corner and find three Fior soldiers at the end of it. Of course this has to happen to us now. My free hand slips into my pocket and finds the three daggers I have left. I do not make a noise as I throw them all at once. Every single blade finds it's target. We wordlessly step over their bodies. Please Reja, I pray, Please bless us with safety. Let us find our destination with no more obstacles. I have nothing left to fight with- "Prayers aren't going to save us now, Gabs," Raki's voice slurs as he begins to lose consciousness. I grunt as he teeters on his feet, "Stay awake you big Goof, or I'll kill you. " His chuckle is breathy and distant. We turn the last corridor. I prayed, but Reja did not listen. A Fior stands at the end. He is our age, perhaps younger. If I passed him on the street, I would take one glance at his flushed cheeks and his long lashes and call him a Tjue. A flower in my language. Flowers do not hold aimed guns, though. We come to a sudden stop, Raki swearing under his breath at the sudden jolt of stillness. My blood pumps in my ears, until all I can hear is my heart, Raki's struggling gasp, and the tap of the boy's finger against his trigger. "Don't move." "Don't shoot," I call. "Why shouldn't I?" Even his voice is young. I glance around the deserted corridor, at the debris and the loose bits and pieces of scaffolding that lay scattered around us. The boy is two metres away, maybe three. His grip on the gun does not falter. My eyes find it the same moment he steadies his stance. I know that stance. Spreading of legs, puffing of chest, a breath in- I have seen Raki train young Shooters enough to know what someone preparing to kill looks like. I do not say a word as I leap away from Raki and Anastasia. My hand closes around the pipe the same moment Raki's legs finally give out. A cry escapes Anastasia's lips as he collapses onto her. The boy's eyes widen- that is all I see before I throw the pole with all of my might. Every single shred of my strength goes into that throw. It embeds itself in his chest and sails right through his body. The pole clatters onto the ground a moment before he drops dead. A moment of stillness. I stare in the silence, my chest heaving. If I did not know any better, I would say that those were sobs rattling my heart cage. But I do not cry. A warrior cannot cry. I say a prayer out loud this time, breathless and raspy. I have killed a young boy. This prayer, this acknowledgement of sin, deserves to be heard by any gods listening. I deserve to be acknowledged as broken. "Gabi," Raki murmurs from the ground, trying to crawl through the debris towards me. Despite the rawness of his pain, his voice is soft. He knows what that kill cost me. He knows what every kill costs my heart. I do not turn around to my bleeding best friend. I only stare at the body of that boy. He has a mother, a best friend, a father, a family. He had a life. I took it away from him. The thoughts tumble through my body like a pinball, hitting every single one of my bones and rattling them. For a few moments, there is nothing but my gasping chest and my murmured name on Raki's lips over and over. And then Anastasia says my name. She says it differently; heavier, sadder, louder. Something about it makes me look. My eyes find hers first. She is covered in white dust from her spot on the ground. And then my eyes find the Rensha standing behind her. "No!" My scream is broken glass and jagged blades and the lost life of a little boy. I throw myself at Anastasia, over Raki's body, and claw at her. Her hand finds mine the exact moment the Rensha grabs her. The last thing I see before they disappear are her blue eyes. They are so, so sad. I know that look. My spy says a final goodbye. And then my hands are left empty. The Rensha are going to kill her. ----------------------------------------------------------- Grayson has not said a word the entire time. He has only stood frozen, chin resting on his palm as he thinks, that familiar frown dotting his eyebrows. I glance up at him as Raki argues with Justine from his spot in the corner. The sound of their voices fade into a familiar buzz as I watch Grayson. "You don't think I should do it." He finally looks up at me, his light brown eyes almost hazed over with thought. It takes him a few moments to respond. "I think that if you step into that camp, you will never step back out." I clench my fist, "You don't think I can survive it?" "I don't think anyone can survive it, Gabriella." I look back down to the map resting on the old oak table. My eyes skip and dance over the points I've drawn. Our paths, our target, our escape routes. I see so many flaws that it almost scares me. But what scares me more is losing my spy. "We cannot let Anastasia go just like that-" "We didn't let her go just like that," His voice has an edge to it now, as it always does when I try to argue with his logic, "You stormed a Fior warehouse to find her. Raki got shot in the leg. Kina suffered a minor stab wound, Taja still hasn't stopped trembling, and you cut your hair." I make a tsking sound with my tongue and glare, "Me cutting my hair ISN'T a sign of a mental breakdown." "You're lucky no one died, Gabriella." I almost hiss at the scorn in his voice. "Do not scold me," I snap, "You are not my superior, Grayson." He rolls his eyes, and I feel the fire ignite once again. I have not felt that fire for the past two days, since the moment that boy's heart stopped beating. "What do you suggest we do, then?" My voice is louder than I'd like it to be, and Justine's argument with Raki quiets at the sound of my anger. "Just leave her to die?" "She knew what she was sacrificing-" "Don't hit us with that bullshit," Raki calls from his corner, the disgust clear in his voice. "We all know what we are getting into. Does not mean we all deserve to die in enemy territory." "Yes," Grayson's voice trembles with barely restrained frustration. He hates when Raki and I argue against him, "But as a spy, Anastasia understands-" "You know what I don't understand, Grayson?" Raki interrupts, almost shroud in shadows. His voice seems to come from everywhere at once. "Why you won't assist us. You live and breathe bombs," Grayson's eyes flicker at the mockery, "So why can't you create one that helps make this plan a little easier for us?" "Because it is a suicide mission, Rakiel," Grayson spits, "And I do not involve myself in stupid plans." The hurt hits square in my chest, and I know I do not do a well enough job of hiding the look on my face, because Grayson's expression falls. "I didn't mean-" "I don't care what you meant," My voice is cold, "I am getting my spy. And I am coming back home when I am done." He stares at me, and I do not look away, "Leave my lamp on." -------------------------------------------------------------- "How am I supposed to walk among them without killing every single one of these motherfuckers?" Taja's voice is raw with hatred. I glance away from the camp and at her, crouched in the shadows of the fern. She hates the Rensha more than anyone I have ever met. We all hate the Rensha; the race of power shifters that kill and pillage as they please. I was born hating them. I do not like to think of my Ma and Pa; farmers tortured and murdered by a few bored Rensha when I was only eight. I still have nightmares about their screams, sometimes. Every single Crade has lost something to the powers of the Rensha. The war between the Crade and the Rensha started when I was nine; a bloody and hateful conflict between the races, each side fighting for freedom from each other. I have killed more Rensha in my year with the Crade Forces than I can count. I spent my entire childhood jumping from Crade rebellion to Crade rebellion. Only when I found the power of the Crade Forces did I realise that the trick to winning this war is not politics, it is action. "You don't," I respond to Taja, glancing back out at the camp. In a few more moments, their Guardian Rens will finish their rest and come back to enforce the magnetic field. We have mere seconds to act. "Please let me kill-" "This isn't about your desire for vengeance, Taja." She glares and opens her mouth to snap back at me, but I am already gone. I do not look back at my dark skinned warrior as I stride right into enemy territory. I know without glancing back that her eyes will track me for a few moments, and then she will disappear into the shadows. I wonder how well she will do it. We all have our moments of glory. Raki is at his best when his guns are aimed, Grayson does best when his hands are cutting wires, Kina does best when her swords are swinging. Taja is at her best when she is bellowing in battle. She will not like the silence of the shadows like I do. The fear does not rip into me as I walk through the centre of the camp, eyes down, pace steady. Instead, the fear slowly gnaws away at my stomach, eating me from the inside out. I wonder if I will be a half devoured corpse by the time I find Anastasia in this maze of tents. The Rensha do not pay attention to me as I walk, and for once I thank Reja above that there are no visual differences between my people and theirs. I am lucky we are not like the Fiors- with their ancient tribal tattoos, or the Sie- with their silver hair. No, instead I look like the enemy. Why not pretend to be them? My skin crawls as I walk. I am too close to the heart of Rensha people. These people killed my family, these people left me an orphan at eight, these people killed Raki's little brother, these people- I almost trip over the girl that passes me, swift and smooth as running water. A nymph. I have heard the stories of the Rensha that can control water; they move just like it. I focus on my task. Walk. Find the Commander's tent. Find Anastasia. Give the signal to Taja. Disappear into the shadows. I am stupid enough to hope that nothing goes wrong. I try to ignore the sounds of life around me. Music playing softly in a tent I pass, the smell of freshly baked bread, the sound of training not far off, the laughs of a group of Rensha sitting by a fire. They seem so human, but they are monsters. It takes me seven minutes to find the Commander's tent. Seven minutes of screaming thoughts and trembling steps and hurried breaths. It is a rather large tent; hulking and black and powerful. I can feel the Rensha energy from where I stand, and I fight the urge to throw up. I slip in without a sound, shadows and silence embodied. I do not scan the tent before closing the flap and taking a breath. If someone were in here, I would have died already. I took the chance of dying the moment I decided to walk in here. I cannot face a Rensha in their territory and survive. I send up a quick prayer to Reja and wait until my heart stops screaming in my ears. And then I turn. On the journey to this camp I spent hours wondering what they were doing to Anastasia here. I wondered if they were torturing her, or starving her, slowly killing her, keeping her in a cage, in chains, in darkness. I was wrong. Anastasia dozes on the King Bed, her naked body covered in thick furs and her red curls dancing down her pale back. I did not guess she would be raped. I fight the tears that prick my eyes. I do not have time to cry for her violation now; I need to help my warrior. I swipe up her clothes, laid out on the table closest to me, and I stride over to my spy. The rage is so hot and burning inside of me that I almost hiss from the flames in my blood. I want to set fire to the world for wronging Anastasia like this. I want to burn this fucking camp to the ground- Anastasia stirs, and for some strange reason, I pause. She stretches her long limbs out like she is a purring cat, and her sleepy smile is soft. "Nathaniel," I have never heard her speak like that. Today, her voice is low and husky. Her tongue slips and slides over her syllables as if that name is music and she is a singer, "I hope you've come back to offer me breakfast in bed." Her blue eyes finally open when the tip of my dagger comes to rest on the hollow of her throat. There is a terrifying sort of silence that follows, in which she stares at me and I stare back. On her pale face is her horror, her shock, her fear. I am not sure what is written over my features. I do not feel much but the ice that had crawled through my veins the moment she stretched like that bed was hers to stretch in. "Gabriella," She breathes, syllables trembling now. The sexiness has been ripped from her voice. "No purring my name, Anastasia?" I ask, cold as frost, "I'm offended." She does not say a word. She only stares at me. "Why?" I whisper finally. She gulps, and my blade draws blood. I watch the bead of red pool in the dip of her white throat. She is lucky I have not slit it yet. "You have to go," Her voice is quiet, but there is fear in it. Both fear of me, and fear for me. "They will kill you-" "I should kill you," I do not spit my words, but she flinches nevertheless. Her movement draws more blood. She stares at me for a very long time. I do not say a word. I want to kill her, she knows I do. I suddenly understand why she looked so sad back in that Fior corridor. I thought that her blue gaze was saying goodbye to me and hello to death. It was not. She was just saying goodbye for the sake of farewells. "You can kill me," She says a little louder, "Or you can leave before they find you. Because once Nate finds you, he will-" "Kill you," The voice that speaks is smooth and deep. I do not turn around as he calmly presses his Rensha hand - a hand that holds more power than every bone in my body - to the back of my head. "Because once I find you, I will kill you." Anastasia meets the gaze of the man behind me. Despite the knife at her throat and the blood against her skin, her smile is slow and adoring. I fight the urge to laugh. What a fucked up situation. My mind races through all of the possible options. Kill Anastasia, get my brains blown out. Stall for long enough to snap Taja's impatience, and let her come in here with guns blazing. Talk enough to distract the man, and then kill him. If I die, Taja will be left to die waiting for me. I think of Grayson's rule. Don't be stupid. I think of that red lamp, waiting for me to come home. The man does not move fast enough to deflect the blow I deliver to his nose. He makes a grunting sound as it breaks and falters long enough for me to spin. My heavy boot lands on Anastasia's throat and pins her, choking, against the headboard of the bed. The man's powered fist lands in my gut, and I expel one gasp before snapping my elbow up back into his nose. The cry that escapes him isn't entirely human. He swipes my feet out from beneath me, but I roll through his legs with the momentum and jump up in time to put my dagger to his throat from behind. He grabs my thigh with rough hands and throws me towards Anastasia. I am meant to land on the bed in a heap, I suppose, but I do not. This man does not know something about me. I do not fight with force, but with grace. An animalistic slyness. I do not land on the bed. I land on Anastasia's throat. My boot smashes into her windpipe, and I pin her once again against the bed head. She chokes as I crush her diaphragm. The man strides towards me, but I ignore him as I lean down to Anastasia's red face. "Traitors deserve to die gasping," I hiss to her. The man's steps falter. I glance up at him, the daggers slipping into my hands faster than time itself. He stands a few feet away from the bed, blonde hair dishevelled, brown eyes dark, eyelashes long. Warrior, a voice whispers in my mind, a True Warrior. I ignore it. "You take one more step, and you watch your girl die," My voice is almost unrecognisably deadly. My words are spoken with a cold sort of calm. The killing calm, Raki calls it. The man - almost a boy, actually, not even a few years older than me- just stares for a very long time, face unreadable. "She's not my girl," He says finally. "You let me leave this tent unharmed, and I let you keep your little pet," I say slowly. My voice does not tremble despite the helplessness inside of me. I can cornered, and he knows it. Anastasia tries to gasp my name, but I only press down harder on her throat, eyes still on the stranger. "You are not supposed to be here," He finally whispers. Something in his voice is raw with pain. I do not have time to consider it- His eyes are the last thing I see before the world goes black.

unrequited

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suehpro · 5 years

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Favorite Albums of 2018

My favorite album of the year: Five Dramas of Swollen Emotion for Music and Voice - Isak Sundstrom (Black Sweat)

And the other 99, in random order...

Migration of the Snails - Melodic Energy Commission (Telephone Explosion)

Libra Rising - Okkyung Lee, Ches Smith, Chris Corsano (Hot Cars Warp Records)

Disambiguation - Cruel Diagonals (Drawing Room)

Camizole/Lard Free - self-titled (Souffle Continu)

I Need to Start a Garden - Haley Heynderickx (Mama Bird)

AAMM - “A” Trio & AMM (Al Maslakh)

Captiva - Zeena Parkins (Good Child)

Consuelo - Chesterfield (Mikroton)

Chez Helene - Joelle Leandre & Marc Ducret (Ayler Records)

Disturbio - Angelica Castello (Mikroton)

I’ll Be Here In the Morning - Postcards (Ruptured)

Electronic Music from the Eighties and Nineties - Carl Stone (Unseen Worlds)

Ectotrophia - Happy Rhodes (Numero Group)

Hippo Lite - Drinks (Drag City)

The Air Around Her - Ellen Fullman & Okkyung Lee (1703 Skivbolaget)

Piano Interpretations - Kukuruz Quartet/Julius Eastman (Intakt)

A Day Hanging Dead Between Heaven and Earth - Fred Frith & Hardy Fox (Klanggalerie)

Attica / Coming Together / Les Moutons de Panurge - Frederic Rzewski (Black Sweat)

Runt Vigor - Audrey Chen (Karlrecords)

Raw Silk Uncut Wood - Laurel Halo (Latency)

Cheol-Kkot-Sae - Okkyung Lee (Tzadik)

Ductus Pneumaticus - Phil Minton & Torsten Muller (WhirrbooM)

Ours - Thumbscrew (Cuneiform)

Samara Lubelski / Bill Nace - self-titled (Relative Pitch)

Sun Embassy - Sun Ra Arkestra (Roaratorio)

Raise the River - Robert Dick & Tiffany Chang (RogueArt)

The Faust Tapes - Faust (Superior Viaduct)

Levitate (expanded, remastered) - The Fall (Cherry Red)

Lantskap Logic - Evelyn Davis, Fred Frith, Phillip Greenleaf (Clean Feed)

Improvisations - G.I. Gurdjieff (Fantome Phonographique)

Without - Clara de Asis (Elsewhere)

Thought Gang - self-titled (Sacred Bones)

Fades - Cheer-Accident (Skin Graft)

Uncharted Territories - Dave Holland, Evan Parker, Craig Taborn, Ches Smith (Dare2 Records)

Earlier Music - Officer! (Klanggalerie)

Big Hug/Ocean Fruit - Coffee (Cooling Pie Records)

Nosongs - Marianne Schuppe (Edition Wandelweiser)

An Unintended Legacy - AMM (Matchless)

Everyone Needs a Plan - Matthew Revert & Vanessa Rossetto (Erstwhile)

Imbrication - Jeph Jarman (Unfathomless)

Music of Southern and Northern Laos - Various (Akuphone)

Lightworks - Stop Motion Orchestra (Knock’em Dead)

Studio 105, Paris 1967 - Don Cherry (Hi Hat)

Se (in) De Bos - Book of Air (Granvat)

Traversing Orbits - Mary Halvorson & Joe Morris (RogueArt)

The Smoke - Lolina (self-released)

A l’Abri des Micro-Climats - Guigou Chevenier & Sophie Jausserand (Knock’em Dead/Megaphone)

Rats Don’t Eat Synthesizers - Dwarfs of East Agouza (Akuphone)

A Philosophy Warping, Little By Little That Way Lies a Quagmire - Konstrukt & Keiji Haino (Karlrecords)

Last Man in Europe - Remote Viewers (ReR)

Lot 74 - Solo Improvisations - Derek Bailey (Honest Jon’s)

Totale’s Turns (It’s Now or Never) - The Fall (Superior Viaduct)

Divine Ekstasys - Delphine Dora & Sophie Cooper (Feeding Tube)

In a Convex Mirror - John Zorn (w/Ches Smith & Ikue Mori) (Tzadik)

Pressing Clouds Passing Crowds - Kim Myhr (Hubro)

The Machinic Unconscious - Wendy Eisenberg (Tzadik)

Sisters Sarah Hennies and Lenka Novosedlikova (mappa)

Aviary - Julia Holter

Crystal Spears - Sun Ra (Modern Harmonic)

Recordings 1969-1988 - Ursula Bogner (Faitiche)

God Is More Than Love Can Ever Be - Sun Ra (Cosmic Myth)

Coyotes - Felicia Atkinson (Geographic North)

The Vanity of Trees - Padma Newsome (New Amsterdam)

Utter - Ingrid Laubrock & Tom Rainey (Relative Pitch)

Joy’s Reflection Is Sorrow - Sharron Kraus (Sunstone)

Seed Triangular - Mary Halvorson & Robbie Lee (New Amsterdam)

Distant Voices - Steve Lacy, Yuki Takahashi, Takehisa Kosugi (Aguirre)

Chordis et Machina - Ikue Mori & Christian Ronn (Resipiscent)

Maroon Cloud - Nicole Mitchell (FPE Records)

The Peter Blegvad Bandbox - Peter Blegvad (ReR)

Ghost Forests - Meg Baird & Mary Lattimore (Three Lobed Recordings)

ガラ刑GALAKEI - Tori Kudo (bruit direct disques)

Contemporary Chaos Practices - Ingrid Laubrock (Intakt)

Failed Celestial Creatures - David Grubbs & Taku Unami (Empty Editions)

Lost in Shadows - Ashley Paul (Slip)

The Bray Harp - Jeph Jerman (White Centipede Noise)

The Expanding Universe - Laurie Spiegel (Unseen Worlds)

Uncompahgre - Kirk Knuffke & Ben Goldberg (Relative Pitch)

All the Roots - Hollow Deck (Feeding Tube Records)

Mangelen Min - Building Instrument (Hubro)

Ki-Motion - Mkwaju Ensemble (WRWTFWW)

Kashawa: Early Singles - Stella Chiweshe (Glitterbeat)

Brace for Impact - Joe McPhee & Mats Gustafsson (Corbett vs Dempsey)

Something More - Mikayel Abazyan (self-released)

Code Girl - Mary Halvorson (Firehouse 12)

A Complete and Tonal Disaster - Congs for Brums (self-released)

Persepolis - Iannis Xenakis (Karlrecords)

Beholder - Julia Reidy (A Guide to Saints)

Both Directions at Once: The Lost Album - John Coltrane (Impulse!)

Asperger - Caterina Palazzi | Sudoku Killer (Clean Feed)

Waved Out - Robert Pollard (GBV, Inc)

The Cymbals/Symbols Sessions: NYC 1973 - Sun Ra (Modern Harmonic)

Letters to the Friends of the Late Darcy O’Meara - Matthew Revert (Round Bale)

Canaxis - Holger Czukay (P-Vine Records)

X/Ten - Peter Hammill (Fie!)

Struggle Artist - Meyers (Shelter Press)

Stadium - Eli Keszler (Shelter Press)

Meltdown - Live in Mexico - King Crimson (Panegyric)

Bimini Twist - Alison Statton & Spike (Tiny Global Productions)

#bestalbumsof2018

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