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somuchnonsense · 4 years

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October Drabbles 17-20

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17. Insects (pre-canon baby Yunmeng trio gen)

Wei Wuxian laughs the first time Jiang Cheng yelps as an insect bites him, and the second and the third and fourth, but he stops on the fifth one when Jiang Cheng bursts into tears. Jiang Yanli pats him on the shoulder and says, “A-Cheng,” half comforting and half weary; Jiang Cheng is eight years old, too old to be crying over a silly thing like insect bites.

“They’re just bugs,” Wei Wuxian says dismissively, but he pats Jiang Cheng’s other shoulder all the same. “What kind of man will you be if you can’t handle a little pain?”

“Why do they keep biting me?” Jiang Cheng continues crying, unmollified. “They’re not bothering you.”

“They are.” Wei Wuxian slaps at his neck with the hand that’s not resting on Jiang Cheng’s shoulder. “I’m just tougher.” Before Jiang Cheng can argue, he quickly adds, “And they don’t like me as much as you.”

“Maybe A-Cheng is sweeter,” Jiang Yanli teases. She’s rubbing Jiang Cheng’s back now as the pace of his tears starts to slow.

“You don’t think I’m sweet, shijie?” Wei Wuxian pouts exaggeratedly, making Jiang Yanli roll her eyes.

“I suppose.” Her eyes twinkle. “Maybe it’s all that spice you eat that drives them away.”

“All right, then. Jiang Cheng, you have two choices: learn to deal with pain or eat as much pepper as I do. What do you say? You think you can handle either one?”

“Both!” Jiang Cheng’s upset is forgotten in the face of Wei Wuxian’s challenge and his desire to never let the older boy surpass in anything. “Of course I can do both!”

Wei Wuxian laughs fondly. “Let’s go home, then, and get started.”

18. Fireplace (canon LWJ post-seclusion feelings)

The nights are often cold in Cloud Recesses, particularly in winter. It never used to bother Lan Wangji, but lately the chill seems to seep into his bones and set the scars on his back aching. Perhaps he’s getting old, he thinks, but that’s silly when he’s barely past twenty and a cultivator of his caliber can live for a good long time. Perhaps it’s only that he’s tired, in a deeper-than-physical way. He’s nearly half a year out of seclusion but still getting used to returning to society, still adjusting to a world that hasn’t really changed while he has.

“I worry that you’re lonely,” his brother said to him not long ago, but that’s foolish too. He sees his brother and his uncle and little Sizhui and other Lan disciples regularly. That’s no less company than he had before his seclusion—more, really, with Sizhui always happy to see him, his smile bright and undisturbed by the horrors of his past.

But that doesn’t explain why, on those cold nights, Lan Wangji sits in front of the fire in a room that is no more or less quiet than it has always been and feels the cold and the silence more intensely than he ever did before. He wraps a blanket around his shoulders and determinedly doesn’t think of a smiling face and sparkling eyes, of a cheerful voice he didn’t realize just how badly he would miss until he could never hear it again. He never really had Wei Wuxian at his side, after all, so nothing has changed.

19. Praise (post-canon Wangxian fluff)

Lan Wangji is not naturally effusive with praise, but he loves Wei Wuxian deeply and genuinely thinks he’s an amazing person, so why wouldn’t he praise him? Wei Wuxian’s view of himself doesn’t match how Lan Wangji sees him, confident in his intelligence but not in his worth as a person. He should hear, until he really believes it, that he’s a wonderful person, that Lan Wangji’s life is better with him in it, that anyone would be lucky to know him, that he matters and deserves to be happy.

Besides, he loves the way Wei Wuxian reacts when Lan Wangji praises him and expresses his affection in plain terms. He gets so flustered, laughing this slightly panicked laugh and squirming as though he physically can’t deal with how much Lan Wangji loves him, or at least not with hearing it put into words. He’ll try to brush it off with jokes or with pleas of “Warn me before you say something like that, Lan Zhan!” but Lan Wangji only ever looks steadily back at him, refusing to take it back, communicating with his gaze that he meant every single word.

“You’re too kind to me, Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian says once, more quietly, when they’re curled up in bed together, after he’s done his usual nervous flailing.

“No,” Lan Wangji responds in a steady, certain voice. “I’m exactly as kind as you deserve.”

Red rises high in Wei Wuxian’s cheeks and he looks back at Lan Wangji with a mix of uncertain gratitude and so much love. Lan Wangji expects him to argue, but for once, Wei Wuxian only curls into his chest, accepting, at least this time, the truth of what Lan Wangji sees in him.

20. Dogs (pre-/during/post-canon WWX gen)

(1) “It’s mine!” Wei Wuxian cries, his voice going high with desperation. He’s so hungry and it’s only a scrap of food, a piece of a steamed bun thrown away by someone who can afford to be wasteful, but it will keep him going for a little longer, give him time to find something else to keep him going for a little longer than that.

The dog growls and bares its teeth and Wei Wuxian panics, throwing his find into the dog’s face. He’s been bitten before, and he’s not hungry enough yet to risk that happening again. He runs away as fast as he can, not daring to look back to see if the terrifying beast is following him.

As he curls up that night, cold and hungry and frustrated, Wei Wuxian thinks of the dog’s ferocious expression and struggles to convince himself that he can try again tomorrow, that somehow it will be all right.

(2) Wei Wuxian half hides behind the man who said to call him Uncle Jiang, though he’s little better than a stranger, as he walks into Lotus Pier. His uncertain hope gives way to fear as he sees another little boy in the yard, surrounded by dogs. His high-pitched yelps are punctuated by laughter as he plays with them, but Wei Wuxian only sees danger. Uncle Jiang said he would be safe here, but clearly he isn’t.

He moves to hide fully behind Uncle Jiang’s legs and starts to cry, overwhelmed by fear and disappointment at realizing that this place won’t be a refuge for him after all. Once he manages to explain through his tears what’s wrong, Uncle Jiang says, “Don’t worry. I’ll take care of it. The dogs will be gone soon. Nothing can hurt you here.”

The other boy looks at him curiously, his hand on the head of one of the dogs, and Wei Wuxian can see that he’s not hurt, but his instincts, honed by his time on the streets, still scream “Danger! Danger!” He desperately hopes that Uncle Jiang really will keep him safe, that he really will be all right here.

(3) If he wasn’t so busy panicking, Wei Wuxian would be embarrassed about how he reacts when Fairy comes runnning. He likes to think of himself as fearless, and likes other people to see him that way, but there are, unfortunately, things he’s afraid of. He’s a long way from that scared little boy on the streets, but he can’t let go of those old, deeply ingrained fears.

But Lan Wangji doesn’t judge him, though he clearly doesn’t understand. He only asks why, and somehow Wei Wuxian trusts him enough to tell the truth. And once he does, Lan Wangji lets him cling in fear, lets Wei Wuxian hide behind his shoulder or his sleeve, lets Wei Wuxian be afraid without trying to talk him out of it, however irrational his fears.

Later, Wei Wuxian learns that Lan Wangji was also once a lost little boy, in his own distinct way, and he thinks that maybe that’s why he understands that the painful lessons learned in childhood are not easily shrugged off. (Even later, he learns how much Lan Wangji loves him and realizes that that’s probably the reason Lan Wangji accepted him, fears and all.)

(4) “Fairy, stay back!” Jin Ling calls. He rolls his eyes a little to show that he thinks Wei Wuxian’s fear is silly but he’ll humor it. The dog sits down some ten paces from Wei Wuxian, which isn’t nearly enough to make him feel okay about it, but at least Jin Ling is between him and the dog.

“Fairy’s a good dog, you know. A special dog. There’s no reason to be afraid.” Jin Ling’s tone is still a little mocking, but more gentle than Wei Wuxian could have imagined him being a few months ago—more gentle than Jiang Cheng ever was to him.

He can see, if he looks, that Fairy doesn’t look anything like those vicious dogs that loom large in his memory, tongue lolling out and tail occasionally wagging, and healthy, with no need to fight anyone for food. He thinks, maybe, that if he keeps meeting Jin Ling, one day he’ll be able to believe that he can be safe around Fairy, and maybe even around other dogs, but not yet. “You keep your ferocious hellbeast to yourself.”

Jin Ling scoffs and shakes his head, but there’s a fondness in his eyes. “If you insist. But you’ll learn to love him someday.”

For his nephew, and also for himself, Wei Wuxian is willing to try. “I just might.”

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