#Mrs. Everdeen | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

flying-ham · 5 months

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one of the greatest tragedies of the hunger games series is Mrs. Everdeen. She both begins and ends the series dealing with tremendous loss, and instead of holding on tighter to those that remain, she allows herself to succumb to the pain and loneliness of her own mind.

At the beginning of thg, katniss describes the depression her mother sunk into after the death of her father. She says that, "my mother was locked in some dark world of sadness, but at the time, all I knew was that I had lost not only a father, but a mother as well," (thg). Katniss struggles to reconcile the mother she currently has with the one she remembers from the age of 11. She cannot ever fully trust this woman again as, "I can see is the woman who sat by, blank and unreachable, while her children turned to skin and bones. I try to forgive her for my father’s sake. But to be honest, I’m not the forgiving type," (thg). Because Mrs. Everdeen could not cope with the loss of her husband, she very nearly lost her two daughters as well. Thus, Katniss and her mother's relationship became permanently altered, only really beginning to improve by catching fire and mockingjay.

Even as Katniss and her mother's relationship blossoms and improves, she still does not feel that she can fully share with and rely on her mother. In Mockingjay, Katniss tries to protect Prim and her mother, saying "It's automatic. Shutting Prim and my mother out of things to shield them," but quickly realizes even Prim can no longer fully rely on Mrs. Everdeen when she tells her, "'You could tell me, you know. I'm good at keeping secrets. Even from Mother,'" (mj). Even prim, sweet innocent prim who cries when Katniss cries, cannot fully rely on her own mother anymore.

By the end of Mockingjay, it is revealed that Mrs. Everdeen has left Haymitch to take care of Katniss back in District 12. Katniss quickly understands what this means as Haymitch explains, "'She's helping to start up a hospital in District Four. She wants you to call as soon as we get in.' My finger traces the graceful swoop of the letters. 'You know why she can't come back.' Yes, I know why. Because between my father and Prim and the ashes, the place is too painful to bear. But apparently not for me," (mj). Katniss acknowledges her mother's trauma, but also understands the hypocrisy of it, as Mrs. Everdeen ultimately lost two daughters in the bombing instead of one. She could not cope with the loss of prim, and so she gave up on Katniss as well, the same way she nearly lost the girls after Mr. Everdeen died.

#if they had had the proper resources and means #mrs everdeen could have been a wonderful mother #katniss has such fond memories of her childhood even living in such difficult conditions #but ultimately Katniss and her mother can never truly be a family again :(#the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #katniss everdeen #mrs. everdeen #thg

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triassictriserratops · 16 days

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checking in to say I’m such a sucker for Katniss and Peeta discussing their mommy issues once they’re together again. I once saw a post pointing out that they’re the only ones in the series with that kind of trauma and it made so much sense to me why they easily bonded with each other. Just imagine them finally being able to discuss how unsafe they felt even before the games and realize that they have someone in their family who understands that problem and doesn’t make it feel that way. Katniss and Peeta have always been tender with each other but I fear it only gets worse the more they share and get close

we joke a lot about how THG is what Katniss would write about her experiences in the games and war. (Explaining her, frankly, INSANE odes to Peeta's eyelashes.) but also? we're sleeping on the idea that Katniss writes a book absolutely trashing Peeta's mom. It's gonna be a fucking BESTSELLER. I actually have an advanced reader copy, here, lemme show you:

(Note, i spent like 4 hours making this absolutely garbage fucking cover, please validate me. My feelings gland needs this.) I also have this idea that while Katniss does come to understand her mother better by the end of the book - a relationship, a GOOD relationship, with the two of them - it's just going to take time. In that time, maybe Peeta helps to bridge the gap. He does weekly check-ins with Katniss' mom. Telling her how Katniss is doing but also answering her questions about how HE'S doing. And he realizes how...nice it is for a mom to want to know how his day was or be proud of his accomplishments. It's not a replacement for what he should have had, but it's nicer than what he ever got. His relationship with his family is gone. That's it. There will never be any hope of it ever getting better. But Katniss DOES have her mom and he wants to help them. And, from the conversations and tears they've shared about this, he knows she wants it too. So he starts by suggesting that Katniss' mom go through her own therapy to be able to come to terms with her grief and the consequences of what that grief did to her relationships with her living family. He puts her in touch with Dr. Aurelius who gives him a referral to someone in 4 that works in grief and family counseling. And it's not easy. Not by any means. Not for anyone. But in time, years, decades - the bonds of family are strengthened. They're never perfect, you can't fix the past, of course. But the pains are acknowledged on both sides. Their new relationship is hard-earned and exactly what they both need of each other. 15 years down the line, Mrs. Everdeen gets to push the hair out of her daughters eyes while she delivers her first grandbaby. She gets to watch her baby look in awe, and wonderment at her own baby. She gets to watch her family grow a little bigger and a little stronger. Later, when Peeta makes sure both Katniss and baby are safe and sleeping, he goes over to Mrs. Everdeen and hugs her tightly. "Thanks for being here for us, Ma."

#peeta mellark #katniss everdeen #everlark #mrs. everdeen #mrs. mellark #the hunger games #thg series #thg #hunger games headcanon #thg headcanons #the hunger games headcanon #i'm glad my mom died #johanna mason #delly cartwright

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mega-aulover · 11 months

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Can I also point out that Katniss - even while in her deepest depression and PTSD never pushed Prim away. Katniss's mother however pushed Katniss away...

#they nearly starved #that's who maternal Katniss was #she never pushed her sister away no matter how dark she got #no matter how much she missed Peeta #Katnis Everdeen #Peeta Mellark #Mrs. Everdeen #Katniss Mom #this one is controversial but Katniss always took care of Prim #she never shut down when prim was a round #she was always present #whenever Prim came to her

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little-lynx · 1 year

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SECOND QUARTER QUELL II UPRISING AU

Ok, look. I’m obsessed with Second Quarter Quell generation and I have A LOT of head canons about them. And sometimes these head canons contradict each other, lol. Previously I showed you some of my illustrations about SQQ generation but it was always one particular AU (where they all are kinda friends/classmates?). And I think it’s time to show you another one that I also like. This is AU (or “head canon” since we don’t really know what is real and what is not) where all of them were part of revolutionary movement before the 50th Hunger Games. Some things are the same in both universes (Mr. Hawthorne and Mrs.Mellark are best friends in both, haha), some are completely different (Mr.Mellark and Mrs.Mellark were not in love in “uprising au” and had to marry for the sake of revolution after Mr.M/Mr.E partnership was broken, oh oh, that was super dramatic!). But they look pretty much the same in every AU I have in my head haha. So here are quick portraits of SQQ gen characters and their confident files from D13 before the 50th Hunger Games reaping day (everything went wrong after that, huh).

About Donner sisters. Peeta said that Mr.Mellark described them as “twins or something” and I interpreted this “something” as that they were not identical twins. Katniss was amazed by young Mrs.Undersee and Madge’s similarity but she didn’t have this feeling about Maysilee. So I think they looked like sisters but not super similar to each other. I mean, I’m a mother of identical twins, I know what I’m talking about lol.

These portraits are not perfect and were done quickly but I really tried 😅. Funny fact: overall I have more clear vision of SQQ characters than THG characters, haha (especially young Haymitch, Mr.Everdeen, Hazelle and Mrs.Mellark). Oh, and you have no idea how much time I’ve spent on these files lol. I don’t even know WHY I did it, because obviously no one cares, but this idea lived in my head for far too long. Ugh, I’m finally free of it. And now I need to return to my work and also main series uffffffff.

P.S. “agent Fox” is Haymitch’s girl, but I have no decent head canon for her

P.P.S. I don’t mention any names because I try not to be too attached to particular names for these characters (who knows maybe one day Suzanne will reveal some information and I don’t want to be upset lol)

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fivenamereveals · 1 year

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“I think of my parents. The way my father never failed to bring her gifts from the woods. The way my mother’s face would light up at the sound of his boots at the door. The way she almost stopped living when he died.”

(The Hunger Games: Ch. 19)

How often do you reckon, after Katniss started hunting, Mrs. Everdeen would hear boots clicking against the ground and brighten momentarily before she remembers?

#the hunger games #mrs. everdeen #katniss everdeen #thg headcanon #thg meta #fivename speaks

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browneyeddevil · 3 months

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Chapter 3: The Aftermath

Growing Pains

The latest chapter has just been posted!

Summary: In a Panem where Katniss and Peeta have both aged out of the Reaping, their lives technically free of the wrath of the Capitol, they both struggle to find their footing in the harsh realities of Twelve. Change is in the air though, and things are happening fast.

#thg #thg fanfic #katniss #peeta #everlark #primrose #mrs. everdeen #rory #madge

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katnissmellarkkk · 7 months

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Alright girls, I got a request a bit ago for some Katniss / Mrs. Everdeen content and as I’ve never written their relationship before I wasn’t sure if I liked it at first! But I’ve finally gotten around to actually editing it so I hope it’s good and it feels in character and y’all like it! I don’t know if I’ll write a oneshot focused on their relationship again but this was actually pretty fun! I hope y’all who read it have a blessed day and enjoy yourselves 🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵🩵

summary : katniss and her mother bond a few days after she comes home from the games. set between the hunger games and catching fire 💕.

I’m never getting used to nightmares.

It’s been two days since the cameras left and I’ve found little relief in their absence. For some reason I assumed once they were gone, the terrors would follow behind them, chasing after the shiny lenses and bright lights, all the way back to the Capitol.

But as it turns out, that couldn’t be further from reality.

Instead the lack of limelight has led to an uptick in nightmare. Not all equal in vigor but all too severe to be properly described by the word dreams.

Sometimes it’s Thresh, chasing me in the woods. Other times Cato tosses me off the Cornucopia to be eaten by the mutts. Occasionally I see Glimmer actually make it up the tree without the branches breaking beneath her feet, grabbing me by the braid and yanking me to the ground where the entire Career pack closes in on me like a pack of wild dogs.

Today though, it’s Clove dangling her knife above my head, taunting me, drawing out the kill. I can’t make out her words, the pulsating in my ears far too loud to understand just about anything, but she says something and then cracks up laughing, as if she’s the funniest person in the whole entire world, ecstatic to be the one to kill the girl on fire.

The dream ends when she plunges the knife into my heart. I don’t actually feel anything but it shocks me awake all the same.

It shocks me awake with such a start that it takes a moment to gather my bearings. It takes a moment to realize I’m alive and safe, in my new house, in District Twelve.

In Victor’s Village, to be exact.

The new home that I was gifted over a week ago, already ready to go with furniture and all, as a reward for my efforts in the games.

If I’m being honest, I feel like it’s taking just as much effort to battle these nightmares as it took to survive the arena.

That may be a bit of an exaggeration but it feels true. For the last couple of weeks I’ve been fighting almost every second of the day to come to terms with what occurred in the games.

To come to terms with all the things I did. All the things I did, with the sole purpose of surviving. All the people I hurt — all the people I killed, directly or indirectly — in effort to stay alive and come home to my mother and sister.

Every choices I made to save my own life has been playing on repeat inside my head every waking second since I woke up in the hospital in the Capitol and I feel like it’s finally going to drive me insane. It’s finally going to push me over the edge, right here, right now, in my new luxurious bedroom with my mother and sister none the wiser.

Of course, the nightmares have been a nice break from thinking of the one choice I made to save someone else’s life.

The one choice that may have disastrous consequences. The one choice I likely will never be able to escape.

Thinking about Peeta and the berries and the arena in those final moments and Cato’s mutilated body as the mutts gnawed away at him — and the look of heartbreak etched across blue eyes — does absolutely nothing to help my current state of mind and everything to exacerbate it.

I don’t even realize I’m crying until my mother’s voice sounds on the other side of the door.

“Katniss?” She calls lightly and I make an immediate effort to wipe my face and keep my voice even.

“I’m fine!” I swallow, hard, choking down the tears still fighting to come out. “Sorry, I just had a bad dream. Go back to bed.”

But she’s already opening the door before I’m even finished speaking. And I suppose I look even worse than I feel. “I know,” she says softly, looking at me with a compassion I would have rejected a couple months ago. “I heard you from down the hall.”

On the ride back to Twelve, between breaking Peeta’s heart and worrying about what President Snow may do to me or my family, I made a serious promise to myself that I would try and make things right between me and my mother.

I know she didn’t choose to be locked away in some far away, dark world after my father’s death. And I know she wishes she could take it all back.

And I know that I could have died in the games. The idea of leaving this world with my relationship with my mother still fractured and tense almost makes me cry harder.

“I’m sorry,” I say now, forcing myself to smile in a way that I hope is reassuring but am aware enough to know it probably looks pitiful at best. My tears refuse to stop and until then, none of my placating will have an effect. “I’ll be fine. Why don’t you start breakfast and I’ll be down in a moment.”

My mother nods, letting me take all initiative in our relationship. Just as she’s done for the last four years.

She turns as if to leave, as if to give me the space I’m so clearly wanting. The space I have all but verbally asked for.

But instead, as if making a split second decision, she surprises me. She spins around and makes a sudden beeline in my direction.

Both her arms wrap around me, holding me protectively, as if she could even begin to keep me safe from the horrors playing inside my head. Still though, her embrace isn’t the most startling thing.

It’s the fact that I instinctively return it.

I hugged her on the train platform in front of the cameras when arriving back in Twelve and I hugged her again yesterday at some point but this is the first time since I was eleven — since I was a child — that I readily accept her embrace. That I go as far as returning it.

That I willingly dive into her arms, just like I would have years ago, letting her comfort me instead of getting angry and defensive and mean.

It takes a moment for her to get over her evident shock, obviously not anticipating that I would even allow her to hold me, let alone clinging onto her like a needy kitten. But when she does, she sits down on the edge of my bed and pulls me into her arms, stroking my hair and rubbing my back in soft circles.

“It’s okay,” she whispers when my cries grow louder. “It’s okay, baby. I’m here now.”

I’m not your baby, I’d shouted at her years ago. I was so angry with her. I was so angry and so righteous and for what? For something she couldn’t control and couldn’t take back? For something she clearly needed help to manage?

I thought I knew everything when I was twelve. I thought I was the strongest person on earth.

Not now apparently, I think to myself as I wail into my mother’s neck, almost surprised that I still fit in her arms after all this time.

I don’t know how long I stay against her, letting her smooth back my sweat soaked hair and breathing in the scent of lavender I didn’t even know I missed while in the Capitol. It’s got to be close to an hour before my sobs die down and even then they threaten to start back up again.

“You’re home and safe,” she promises gently, rubbing my back again. “You will never go back to the games for as long as you live. You’re never going to see another arena. You’re going to live a long life here in Twelve.” Her voice is light and soft, almost like a hum. The way she speaks to Prim after a nightmare. The way she used to speak to me before my father died.

“Where’s Prim?” I croak, becoming more and more aware of how disgusting I feel. The nightmare left me covered in perspiration and I would feel sorry for my mother having to be so close to me if it wasn’t for the fact that she deals with much worse on a daily basis as a healer.

“At school,” she says, pulling back a little to wipe my leftover tears with her thumb. “You slept in late today.”

Right. Prim is starting school again now. It’s almost autumn. Gale is working in the mines six days a week. My mother is beginning to treat people for colds and croup again.

And I have to now decide how to spend my days as a happy little victor.

I suppose today isn’t the day to make that decision though. My head hurts from all the crying and my body feels weak with exhaustion despite the fact that I just woke up.

Before really thinking about it, I lean my head against my mother’s shoulder again, already seeing Clove with her knives reappear as soon as I shut my eyes.

“Are you hungry?�� My mother asks, leaning down kissing my hair as she folds me back into her arms. I can tell she’s almost overjoyed that I’m allowing her to console me.

Almost. Because there’s no way she would have ever wished for this to be the reason I let her back in.

“No.” I shake my head, my stomach turning at the mere thought of eating right now.

“Then why don’t we get you cleaned up? Hmm?” She waits for my nod before standing up and taking my hand.

I let her lead me into our new bathroom, where the sinks are white and porcelain and the toilet feels too expensive to use. And the giant tub in the middle of the room makes the bucket we used to use in the Seam feel like a foot bath.

I watch as she moves the knobs around, already having gotten the hang of the appliance, and adds soothing, sweet smelling oils into the water.

Once the tub is halfway full she helps me undress and tosses my damp pajamas into a laundry basket by the door.

I sink to the bottom of the bath, feeling the blazing hot water relax my sore, achy muscles and encase me like a wool blanket in wintertime.

My mother lets me soak for a moment before kneeling down to the right of the tub and getting to work. She washes me up with rose scented soaps and cleans my hair with something that foams when you rub it between your hands and reminds me distantly of Effie Trinket.

“You’d be a good hair washer if we lived in the Capitol,” I murmur as she scrubs my scalp lightly with her fingernails.

She snorts and tips my chin up to rinse my locks. “In another life, I suppose.”

After double conditioning she expertly rings my hair out and then pulls the drain. I sit in the tub until it’s completely empty, having never actually seen huge swirls of water rushing down a drain before. It’s so fascinating that for a moment I consider refilling the tub just to pull the drain all over again.

Afterwards I sit on my bed silently, feeling worn and depleted, wrapped in a towel while she combs out the tangles from my hair, before pulling it into a simple braid.

“Mama,” I whisper as she grabs a silk shirt from my dresser.

“Yeah?”

“I’m so tired.”

My words are plain but the meaning behind them is loaded and she intrinsically understands my true intent.

I’m so tired. It’s only been two days since it all officially ended and I feel exhausted. I feel like I haven’t slept in a hundred years. I feel like I’ll never sleep again. I feel so much older than sixteen and at the same time so much younger and I don’t understand and you can’t understand but I just want to sleep. I just want to go to bed and actually sleep through the night without the panic and the fear.

Wordlessly, she turns back to the dresser and pulls out a nightgown instead. “Then you should go back to sleep,” she says simply, pulling away the towel and tugging the nightgown over my head, rightening my braid and moving back the covers to my bed.

And I crawl between sheets without hesitation and let her tuck me in, let her care for me, let her mother me again, in a way I’ve rejected for so long now. I lay there and let her rub my back, comforting me the same way she does when I’m too sick to push her away.

I’m almost asleep when she leans down and kisses me goodnight. “I love you, Katniss Sienna,” she whispers, standing to pull the blankets up to my chin. “I love you. And I’m so happy that my baby’s home safe.”

“Goodnight,” I mumble into the covers as she starts closing the door behind her. “Thank you,” I add as sleep grabs ahold of me again, but I doubt she catches it. “Thank you, Mama.”

#thg #hunger games #Katniss everdeen #Mrs. Everdeen #Katniss’ mom #my writing #I’m gonna tag #mother/daughter #oneshot #drabble #yeah that’s all I got for these taggies today #hunger games fanficton #thg fanfic #what ya know I had two more in me

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the-sun-and-the-sea · 2 months

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Hello! I’m obsessed with your page! Thank you for keeping the odesta fandom alive 🫡 I wanted to ask if you have any thoughts on a potential friendship between Annie and Mrs. Everdeen. I know some fics have explored this (Where Soul Meets Body is a great example), but I wanted to know your take on the matter.

Mrs. Everdeen is a character that I feel doesn’t get enough recognition and her story, in a way, goes hand in hand with Annie’s, post Mockingjay. I personally love the idea of them becoming friends — especially knowing all of the similarities between them. I could see Mrs. Everdeen using herself as a personified cautionary tale for Annie & giving her advice based on her own regrets as being a widow with children to take care of. I feel that her building a hospital in District Four of all Districts subtly alludes to the fact that she and Annie have a friendship.

Side note: even the deaths of Mr. Everdeen and Finnick are oddly similar in a way?? I’m just thinking about this quote from Katniss expressing her dislike for tunnels while she’s on a train to the Capitol in the beginning chapters of the first book — “It reminds me of the mines and my father, trapped, unable to reach sunlight, buried forever in the darkness.” I think that’s also fitting for Finnick’s death since he dies in a sewer, far away from the sunlight, and his body is destroyed by a bomb just like Mr. Everdeen.

If you have any headcanons, fanfic recs, or just expert odesta stan wisdom to share on this matter, I would love to read all about it :)

Hey, thanks so much for the ask!

I totally agree with everything you said! Suzanne Collins is very deliberate in her writing and I don't think sending Mrs. Everdeen to Four was an accident. And her journey definitely parallels Annie's, especially after the war.

I also think it's really cool how building a hospital signifies rebirth and rebuilding. And while I don't necessarily think Annie would become a doctor, I love the idea of her and Mrs. Everdeen working to rebuild Four and heal people and in turn, healing themselves. Mrs. Everdeen could definitely give input on how to use medicine as a method of growth and healing, both mentally and physically.

I never thought about those parallels between Finnick's and Mr. Everdeen's deaths, so thanks for bringing that up! And it's so tragic because these are two people who loved nature so much (Finnick with the ocean and Mr. Everdeen with the woods) and they died so far removed from that. Again I don't think that was a coincidence, and to me there's a lot of story there that we don't always see in Katniss' pov.

we were meant to stay afloat by @dancingonmoonbeams builds a great relationship between Annie and Mrs. Everdeen (plus Finnick lives so go check it out!)

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts, I always love having discussions! <3

#didn't really have much to add other than i agree #you said it so well #the parallels in this series are so cool #and there's always more to learn about #asked and answered #annie cresta #mrs. everdeen #odesta #thg #the hunger games

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lesbianelphie · 5 months

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(X)

#katniss everdeen #mrs. everdeen #the hunger games #thg

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thesweetnessofspring · 9 days

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Interesting little thing to ponder is what Katniss’ mom thought of Peeta vs Gale because she knew Gale better and probably imagined Katniss would end up with him. So like the anthethisis to Haymitch

What I find fascinating about this is how Mrs. Everdeen herself was part of a love triangle and one of the men included Peeta's father! So how much was she projecting and how much did she see as someone who went through it? I will say that at least, she didn't seem to greatly favor either but it seems like she might have slightly favored Gale? At least, she gave Katniss an out to not be so into the PDA with Peeta and then after Gale's whipping pointed out that's what people do when people they love are hurt. (two which Katniss hilariously replies: "Where's Peeta?") She might have seen the Games as forcing Katniss with Peeta, and wanted her daughter to be able to choose who she loved, as Mrs. Everdeen would certainly relate to that.

In the end, I think Mrs. Everdeen would've been fine with either (though admittedly Peeta would have added some awkwardness) but at least to start, Gale was more favored than Peeta until Mrs. Everdeen realized "oh...actually, my daughter's in love with the baker's son."

#mrs. everdeen #anon ask

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realmermaid333 · 2 years

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Saltwater Heals Wounds

Katniss anxiously fumbles with her hands as she stares out the window of the train. She tries to focus on the whirring of the steel vehicle cutting through the air and the scenery flashing by, but nothing could distract her from her nerves.

Peeta, likely noticing her visibly uneasy body language, takes her hand in his, “Katniss. It’s going to be fine,” he assures her with a grin.

Even Peeta’s comforting presence, gentle touch, and kind eyes can’t ease her anxiety. She hasn’t ridden a train since she returned to District 12 after the rebellion and Snow’s death. Two and a half years after the war, the truth was now out about Coin, and people understood why Katniss chose to kill her instead of Snow. Since then, Katniss was no longer exiled in District 12, she could ride trains to other districts without supervision if she pleased– although she would never leave 12 alone anyways.

Today however, Katniss was going to make a very difficult trip– she was going to District 4 to see her mother.

Katniss hasn’t seen her mother since Prim died, a tragic, anguished reunion, with her skin burnt and her mind under a haze of morphling. After the war, her mother, Clara, went to District 4 on a train filled with supplies and other migrants, returning to 12 was out of the question for her. She could not bear to face the ghosts of her town, her loved ones, her community– and District 12 was quite the ghost town, especially back then. But somehow, no one thought it would bother Katniss to live in the ruins of what once was her home. So she was forced to live with it.

Katniss and Clara had a strained relationship ever since Katniss’s father died, and while Katniss was always a bit closer with her father, she and her mother once had a very strong bond. She frequently, and with great sorrow, reminisces memories with her mother, memories of helping her cook, lying on her lap, her fingers gingerly stroking Katniss’s hair, braiding it, the way her mother’s face lit up when her father came home from the mines. But the day he died, a part of Clara died with him.

She fell into a deep depression, she couldn’t get out of bed, she was in a trance that Katniss and Prim could not break. After that, Katniss was all alone. Suddenly she was an eleven year old adult, the one who had to provide food for her family, parental guidance to Prim, and to herself. She resented Clara for that, and after the war and losing Prim, Katniss resented her for not asking that they go to District 4 together, for leaving Katniss all alone in 12.

Although she, luckily, had Haymitch, who at this point was like her second father, she yearned for her mother. And she never forgave her for leaving.

And until recently, she didn’t know if she ever would. But here she was, roughly an hour from her arrival at the District 4 train station, her uneasiness only growing more severe. She was afraid to face her mother after more than two years, she was afraid of the pain it would entail. Katniss and Clara spoke on the phone every once in a while, short, tense check-ins, but they haven’t seen each other’s faces.

What would her mother look like now? Has she aged a lot? Aging made Katniss nervous since, until more recently, she did not think she’d ever need to worry about getting old, and she didn’t think she’d be alive when her family died of old age. Her mother was a doctor now, she was neighbors with Annie, Finnick, and their son Bennet, and she had other friends too. She must be better than she was before, right?

After hours of internal turmoil, Katniss decided to tell Peeta how she was feeling, he always understood her, and Dr. Aurelius told her she needed to be more honest, “Peeta?”

“Yeah?” He looked at her with concern, his eyebrows raised. Katniss loved how caring he always was.

“I think I am afraid of the ways my mom might be different. I don’t know her anymore.”

Peeta turns towards Katniss and wraps his arms around her, “Do you think maybe different will be good?”

She considers this for a moment, that the difference could be positive, that maybe her changes are nothing but improvement.

“Maybe she's better now, happier,” Peeta adds, kissing her cheek. He has always been the most optimistic, always the one keeping the hope alive.

“Maybe,” She will find out soon, since there is less than 30 minutes left until they arrive.

Finally, the train comes to a halt, the two of them look out the window to confirm what they already know is true, they’ve reached their destination. Katniss’s stomach ties into a knot. She tries to focus on the fact that she gets to see Annie, Finnick, and little Bennet while she is there. However her excitement cannot mask her nausea.

“It’s time,” Peeta says with a smile, trying his best to reassure her.

“It’s time,” Katniss echoes, walking hand in hand with Peeta through the train doors and onto the platform.

Clara told Katniss she would meet her at the platform when the train arrived. Her and Peeta scan the small crowd of people as they step off the platform. Katniss takes in the smell of the salty, sea breeze from the ocean nearby, the cool air makes her shiver. She remembers Finnick once telling her it was colder by the water when she asked him to describe home, he was most definitely right.

Neither of them spotted Clara yet, the suspense was killing Katniss, her heart raced as she waited for what felt like many minutes– until she saw her.

Her and her mother’s eyes met, Katniss’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of her, and Clara simply smiled. She hadn’t aged much since Katniss last saw her, if anything, she looked younger. Her blonde hair was much longer than it was when they departed, her skin was no longer sickly pale. She looked vibrant, healthier, and happier, just like Peeta predicted.

Peeta tugged on Katniss’ hand as he guided her forward, which Katniss was very grateful for as she wasn’t sure if she’d be able to do it on her own. Somehow, after surviving two Hunger Games and a war, Katniss was frightened to face her own mother.

The couple approached the strikingly changed woman, “Hello, Clara,” Peeta stated kindly.

“Hello, Peeta,” she responded.

She looked at Katniss, “Hello, love,” Clara’s eyes began to water at the sight of her daughter.

She opened her arms out to Katniss, offering a hug that she desperately hoped she’d accept.

Katniss did not know until this moment that a hug from her mother was what she needed the most.

“Hi,” she said as she leaned into Clara’s arms, accepting the hug.

Katniss had no idea how much she craved this hug, but despite her longing for her mother’s affection, she pulled apart after a moment. She didn’t want to get her hopes up and be disappointed once again. She figured it would be best to keep her mother at arm's length for now, not just metaphorically.

Clara took Peeta and Katniss to her home, a small house by the ocean shore. During the rebuilding of District 4, more houses and shops were built. Clara wanted to live by the ocean because she’d never seen it before her arrival in 4, and she fell in love with it instantly. She lived in a community living space with other medical personnel and students at first, but once houses were built she was able to move into one near the water, and she was near Annie, Finnick, and their son Bennet.

Her home is modest, clearly meant to house one person or maybe a childless couple. It consists of a bedroom, a living room and kitchen, and a bathroom. Clara shows them their bed she made on the couch and offers them tea. The tea was mint, the same mint tea she used to make for Prim and Katniss back home. The warm, minty liquid brought a bittersweet nostalgia over Katniss as she sipped it from the mug.

For the first few hours of the visit, Peeta was the one who kept the conversations going, Thank god for Peeta Katniss thought to herself. She stayed out of the conversations for the most part, which was not abnormal for her as she’s a naturally quiet person, but her silence was mostly attributed to the fact that she did not know how to talk to her mother, she felt so alien to Katniss. She silently watched as Peeta and her mom conversed about their lives.

Peeta told Clara the latest stories about Haymitch’s geese, about his favorite pastries to bake, his paintings, and he got Katniss to awkwardly tell a story about a fight she got in with a fox over a rabbit. Clara talked about her experiences being a doctor, how much she enjoyed it and how happy she was to dedicate her life to healing people. She also started knitting again, a hobby she enjoyed up until Prim’s death. She now occasionally gifts knitted sweaters and blankets to her patients and sells knitted items at the market from time to time.

The three of them made a dinner of halibut, rice, and mushrooms, well, mostly Clara and Peeta. Katniss had never had halibut before, and she thought it was delicious, but she could not bring herself to enjoy her food as much as she usually would when trying something new.

After dinner, Clara asks Katniss if she would like to go on a walk with her on the beach. She asks Peeta if it is alright that her and Katniss go alone– and Peeta of course said yes.

Katniss feels her stomach tie in a knot again, she knows what type of conversations will happen on this walk– the very thing she dreadfully anticipated. She and Clara reluctantly leave the small house and make their way to the sandy shore, both unsure of how to talk to each other.

The beginning of the walk consisted of an awkward, but somehow equally comfortable, silence. Katniss felt a little more at ease after hearing her mother talk about herself, she seemed to be the most mentally stable and happiest she’d been since before dad died. But a selfish and retributory part of Katniss was upset that her mother was doing so well without her. Did she even miss Katniss at all?

Finally, Clara broke the silence, “I’m sorry, Katniss.”

Just as she’d feared, her mother apologized. She didn’t want her pity, she didn’t want to even let her finish. She wanted to push her mom away again like she always did, but she also wanted to let her mom make things better. So, she didn’t stop her. She turned her head and met her eyes.

“I am sorry that I wasn’t there for you all those years. That I didn’t give you the love and attention you needed and deserved. I am sorry that you had to provide for Prim and I at such a young age, I should have been the one taking care of you. You were a little girl… you needed me and I let you down,” she sighs sharply, “You did not deserve all the tragedy you experienced at such a young age,” she wistfully states.

Katniss did not expect her mother’s words to have such an impact on her, she had always avoided showing any emotion around her mother, especially tears. But despite her efforts to hold them in, the tears fell, and she decided that this time she was going to let herself cry.

“Why did you let me go to 12 all by myself,” she sniffles, “You didn’t go with me or – tell me you– were going to go to D-District 4– You didn’t try to take me with you– they made me g-go back,” the sniffles became sobs as her anger and feelings of abandonment and despair overcame her.

Clara’s face wears a look of pure guilt and sadness as saltwater falls from her eyes, “I-I have no excuse. I should have stayed with you, I should have been stronger for you. But Prim died and I felt like I’d lost myself again… I was afraid to face you. I was afraid I’d disappoint you. I knew you’d need me to be strong, and I knew I couldn’t be strong enough for you. So I felt it was better to not be there at all than to fail at being there for you again. I was wrong, so wrong. I’ve missed you so much. I am sorry, Katniss. I hope one day you will find it in yourself to forgive me, but it is okay if you can’t,” she says, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Katniss sits with her feelings for a moment, feeling like a small child. As much as the angsty nineteen year old in her wants to get angry, to tell her mom she’d never forgive her, that she didn’t need her– the child in her knew she did. Katniss needed her mom, she wanted her mom. More than anything else, she wanted her mom to hold her. So she finally listened to the little girl in her and gave into her needy impulses.

She leapt forward and tightly wrapped her arms around her mother’s waist. She hugged her back, caressing her hair just like she did when Katniss was a little girl falling asleep.

Clara held her crying daughter in her arms, and together they weeped, tears gliding down their faces like waves across sand. They weeped enough that they could probably refill the ocean with their very own saltwater, salty tears of guilt, grief, sadness, and for once, joy.

For the first time ever, Katniss thought that, maybe, just maybe, her and her mother could be close again. Perhaps they could be a family.

As the sun set beyond the offing, Katniss’s doubts and grudges went down with it, falling into the abyss behind the skyline.

Fun fact: I did not make up the name Clara, the actress who plays Mrs. Everdeen actually named Katniss’s mom that!

Also; in the little Hunger Games universe I’ve made up in my head, Finnick is alive. I went back and forth on whether or not to have him alive in this story and I went ahead and decided to be canon-defiant muhahahaha

#everlark #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark #clara everdeen #mrs. everdeen #annie cresta #finnick odair #district 4 #district 12 #the hunger games #catching fire #mockingjay #fanfiction writer #fanfic prompt #mother wound #primrose everdeen

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