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perpetualproductions · 16 days

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Never Be The Same - Chapter 1:

Me and My Friends Are Lonely

- It's been a couple days since shit went down at Godolkin. The four lay low in one of Andres many properties in the city. What now?

(Title song: Me and My Friends Are Lonely by Matt Maeson)

3.4k words

CW: (small) mention of smoking/drug use. The normal amount of swearing. They make out, but nothing explicit.

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“Godolkin University. Oh, how the mighty fall. The once prestigious number one supe school in America, brought down by radical supes and a Dean with a hidden agenda. Indira Shetty, former behavioral scientist and the last Dean of Godolkin, who turned out to be an anti-supe and anti-vought radicalist. Using her prior scientific knowledge and position of power over students, she groomed and manipulated these supes to kill their own kind. Lives of both humans and supes were lost in the tragic conquest of the foreign terrorist that is Indira Shetty. But do not fear, as our very own homelander had flown in and saved the day, taking down the terrorists and escorting all of the remaining students and faculty to safety. It will take some time to rebuild Godolkin and restore it to its former glory due to the aftermath of the incident, But worry not, for with the help of Vought, young supes all over the country can now attend colleges up to the most prestigious levels. Supe students are able to study any major, including supe specific majors such as crime fighting and more! Vought, once again, doing the right thing and making sure our kids stay educated. And with that, I’m Cameron Coleman coming at you from Vought News. Goodnight Amer-”

The television shuts off once the news story comes to an end. Jordan tosses the remote back onto the couch, letting out a huff as they run their hands through their hair, messing up the perfect curls of their bob as they do. They resume pacing back and forth behind the couch where Marie and Emma currently sit. Andre sits in the armchair situated on the left side of the room and stares at the dark tv screen, still trying to process everything that has been going on the past few days. They are all currently in one of Andre’s Dad’s many Apartments in New York. Apparently they didn’t use this one very often, being not nearly as extravagant as some of his other penthouses over on the upper-east side, but it was perfect for the four of them to lie low in while they dealt with all that transpired over the last couple of days. Andre had offered the idea of staying at one of his places when Marie mentioned that they had nowhere to go now that Godolkin is no more. She definitely didn't want to go back to Red River, where they'd probably send her straight to Elmira. Emma said that she could stay with her, but Emma wasn't too excited to go back home herself. Jordan had also decided to take up Andre's offer for similar reasons.

So there they were. Sitting around the living room in silence, not sure what to say to each other after watching that broadcast. Empty pizza boxes and soda cans littered the coffee table in front of them. Since the Andersons rarely used this place, the fridge was empty, so they decided to order food for the time being. No one was comfortable enough to go grocery shopping yet. They've all basically isolated themselves inside the apartment for the last four days, the shock and trauma of past events holding them in place. But they all spent the time comforting each other. They all went through the same thing so it only made sense. They've talked separately and as a group, confiding in each other for the time being. The uncertainty of the future weighing heavy on them all.

“That's it. I need a smoke.” Andre pushes himself up and goes searching through the drawers in the adjacent kitchen.

Jordan shakes their head as they yell back to Andre, “No. We need to talk first. I'd appreciate it if you were at least a bit fucking sober for this conversation.”

“Plus, there are no cigarettes left…I already checked.” Jordan mumbles that last part.

“Dammit. Fine.” Andre begrudgingly walks over and plops back into his previous spot. “But you owe me a pack when we're done.”

Jordan shakes their head before walking around the couch and standing in front of the TV. They take a breath, but Emma begins to speak before Jordan gets the chance.

“Well, looks like Vought blamed all that shit on Shetty. And sure it's not 100% accurate, but it's better than nothing, right?” Emma looks between the three of them for a response.

Marie sighs, turning left to face Emma. “I don't know, They still got away with it. Nobody knows about the woods or the virus-”

“-And not a single fucking mention of Cate or Sam.” Jordan jumps in, hatred clear in their voice as they say the name of their ex-friend.

Everyone in the room pauses for a second at the mention of their names. They still had no idea what happened to them before they were escorted off campus. Marie had tried to tell Homelander about what Cate had done, but he just stared at her with his cold dead eyes, quickly flashing red before huffing and flying away. If Marie didn't know better, she was almost certain that was a threat on her life. And if all those people hadn’t been there, then she'd be a pile of ash by now. Further solidifying the whole ‘nothing is as it seems’ revelation.

“Yeah… but, on the bright side, it looks like we're in the clear. None of our names were mentioned either. We at least don't have to hide anymore.” Emma's words grow more uncertain as she continues, the last words being mumbled.

“You're right.” Jordan shifts to their male form, gaining a few inches in height and crosses their arms. “But we still need to be careful. If Vought knows that we knew about the fucking woods, then we could still have targets on our backs. They could be watching us. Watching our every fucking move to make sure we don't spill anything.”

“But wouldn't they have done something by now? I mean sure, they might not expect an apartment in the middle of Brooklyn, but it's Vought. If they wanted to find us, don't you think they would have by now?” Andre retorts. Emma was right. They didn't even mention any wanted supes or anything. So they should be fine.

Jordan sighs as they shake their head, “I don't-”

“No.” Marie interrupts. “No, they're right, Jordan. I agree that we should still be careful, but it's almost been a week and we can't stay locked up here forever. If Vought wanted to find us, they would. And it's not like we could fucking stop them either. Definitely not if we stay in New York. But you heard the news report, we have a second chance. A second fucking chance to go to school and finish our education so we can actually do something with our lives. And I don't know about you but second chances don't come by often for me. I need to go to college and get a degree if I want a chance at a life that doesn't include being locked up for the foreseeable future. I can't do any good from here. We can't do any good if we stay here.”

Marie takes a breath.

“If we want to make a change and help people, then we need to go out and do it.” She stares directly into Jordan's eyes as she says this. Jordan wasn't planning to fight Marie on this anyway, but they were done for the second their eyes locked. Those beautiful damn eyes. They're not quite sure how they feel about the effect she has on them yet, but they hope they have time to find out.

“Fine.” Is all Jordan can manage to say as they tear their eyes away from Marie's. Jordan checks the time on the wall clock, “It's late. We can continue tomorrow. I'm going to bed.” Jordan speaks in a flat tone, walking off to their temporary bedroom, leaving the three of them in the living room.

Marie waits a couple minutes before getting up from the couch. “I'm gonna-”

“Oh my God just go comfort your themfriend already!” Emma exclaims as she shoves Marie in the direction of the hall that leads to the bedroom. Marie can't help but laugh as she's being pushed by Emma playfully.

“Have fun~!” Andre says in a sing-songy voice as Marie walks past them, flipping them off.

Once Marie left, Andre and Emma looked at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter.

—

Jordan stands in the dark of their small, temporary bedroom. Their arms are crossed as they watch intently out the window, eyes peering through the blinds. The view isn't much to admire. Just the end of a shitty, dark alleyway leading out to a dimly lit street corner. Jordan watches as people wander the dark, cold streets of Brooklyn. What the hell they're doing out this late, no one knows, and Jordan doesn't necessarily care either. Still, they watch vigilantly, waiting for something to happen, someone who looks out of place, eyes that might stare back. But behind those focused, observant eyes, are a million thoughts spiraling around their head, all focused around one person. Marie. The last few days Jordan hadn't been able to think a single thought that didn't connect to Marie in some way, shape, or form. Hell, if they're being honest, all they've thought about for the last month has revolved around Marie.

Marie Moreau…

She came in like a fucking heart attack. Suddenly, out of the blue, taking their breath away, and letting them know they'll have to make some life changes to accommodate. For the past week or so Marie had been their safe place. A warm comfort that kept them grounded while the world crumbled around them. The one good thing in the middle of so much fucking bad. But with the warmth, comfort, and steadiness that Marie brought them, came something unexpected. Fear.

They were afraid. Afraid of losing her. They almost lost her the day Cate went on her crazy ass rampage. They had just got her, and the thought of now losing her at any moment? The thought of Vought taking Marie and doing God knows what to her? It terrified them. Made them feel powerless. And they hate feeling powerless.

A soft knock on the door drew Jordan out of their thoughts, back into the

present.

“Jordan? Can I come in?”

Marie's soft, muffled voice still managed to bring some sense of calm to Jordan, even with the storm of thoughts berating their brain. Jordan gives a soft “yeah”, just loud enough for Marie to hear, as Jordan continues their vigilant search out the window.

Marie enters the room, slowly pushing the door close behind her, not wanting to make too much noise this late. She looks at Jordan, admiring their masculine figure, sharp edges softly painted by moonlight as they look out the bedroom window. Marie slowly makes her way across the room to Jordan. Once at their side, she places a hand on their arm and places the other on their back, slowly rubbing soft circles while enjoying the feeling of their soft, cotton, long sleeve shirt. Jordan leans into their touch, eyes threatening to close and succumb to the comfort.

“Hey.” She whispers softly, looking up at them and noticing the stern look on their face, their jaw tense and brows furrowed.

“Hey.” Jordan mutters as they attempt to maintain their focus on the two strangers standing on the street corner. Doesn't seem like they're doing much, just talking, but Jordan watched their every move regardless.

Marie realizes what they're doing, taking the time to observe out the window herself. “See anything interesting?”

Jordan huffs, “Don't tease, Marie. This is serious.”

“I'm not teasing.” She remarks in a serious, reassuring tone as she looks back up at them. “It's just… you can't stand here all night and expect something to happen. And you can't will it into existence if you stare hard enough.”

Jordan decides to remain silent, knowing that she's right. Which really shouldn't be a surprise at this point. Marie takes this opportunity to move her hand to their chest and lead them back towards the bed, which is only a couple steps back from the window. Jordan lets her lead them to the bed, dropping their head into their hands as they're sat down by Marie.

“You're right.” Their hands gripping their hair, hoping that would release the tension in their head.

“I know.” Marie replies with a hint of humor in her voice. She stands in front of them, putting her hands on theirs and uncurling their fingers from their hair. Jordan eases their grip as she does.

Jordan lets out a soft chuckle as they bring their head back up to face Marie. They take a moment to admire her, the moonlight framing her in a graceful light. Beautiful is the only word that comes to Jordan's mind. The word itself doesn't even do her justice. They bring their left hand up to cup her face, gently brushing their thumb on her cheek. Marie places her hand on top of theirs as she leans into their touch, quickly turning her head to kiss their hand.

“I'm scared…” The words just fall out of Jordan's mouth, barely audible as Jordan wrestles with their feelings. Something about Marie disarms them, makes them feel vulnerable as all hell. But they know they can trust her. They're safe with her.

Marie looks into their eyes, an understanding look on her face, and nods. “I know. I'm scared too. Like, really fucking scared. But we aren't alone in this, Jordan. We have each other. We have Emma, and Andre-”

“I know… it's just-” Jordan takes Marie's hand and moves it down. Marie moves to sit down next to them, letting their hands fall on to Jordan's lap. Jordan takes a shaky, deep breath before continuing. “This is the first time I'm worried about someone who isn't just me.”

“You don't have to worry about me.” Marie says with a reassuring smile.

“Well, yeah. I know more than anyone that you can take care of yourself any fucking day, but I can't help it. You just mean so much to me. You have no fucking clue how much you matter to me, Marie. You are one of the only people in this fucked up world who has cared about me in this capacity, who has accepted me completely. I can't lose that. I can't lose you.”

Marie does her best to fight back the tears threatening to fall. She places her free hand on top of their clasped hands, giving it a squeeze. “You mean a lot to me too. More than you can imagine. And of course I'm worried about losing you too, but I have to believe that there's a way out of this. Staying locked up inside all day, afraid for our lives, always being on guard? We can't live like that forever. We have to trust in each other to get out of this shit together. You don't have to do this alone, Jordan. We have each other. And I'm not going anywhere, okay?”

Jordan nods, “okay.”

Marie places a hand on the side of Jordan's face. They stare into each other's deep, brown eyes for what feels like an eternity before Jordan leans in and closes the gap. Lips lock, as they desperately hold on to each other, refusing to let the other go. The kiss, deep and passionate. A moment imprinted into their minds as they meld, moving seamlessly against each other, savoring every sensation.

Jordan switches to their smaller form as they move to straddle Marie, holding her head in their hands as they desperately taste every single corner of Marie's mouth. They let out a moan as Marie tangles her hands into their longer hair giving it gentle tug. Jordan moves their lips to Marie's neck, revisiting every crevice and curve they've had the pleasure of getting to know. Marie's moans only fuel Jordan, as they push her to lay back on the bed, hands running their way up and down Marie's sides. Marie goes to flip them over, moving them up the bed till their head lands on the pillows. Jordan shifts again, strong hands moving up Marie's body, making their way under her sweater. But before they can do anything else, Marie pulls away, gently removing Jordan's hands from her sweater. Jordan lets out a small whine at the sudden loss of contact, throwing Marie a questioning look.

“Is everything alright?” they asked, slightly worried they went too far.

“It's late Jordan. And as much as I would love to continue this,” she runs her finger up Jordan's chest, eventually resting on their shoulder. “We could really use some sleep. There's a lot to do tomorrow, and we haven't slept as much as we probably should have over the last couple nights.” Marie says, a small smile tugging at her lips.

Jordan sighs, hands resting on Marie's thighs, thumbs brushing back and forth as they contemplate. “Why did I have to fall for someone so responsible?”

“Who else is gonna make sure you take care of yourself?” Marie says playful as she gets off of Jordan, pulling the covers of the bed down and draping them over Jordan.

“I can take care of myself just fine, thank you.” Jordan says, switching back to their female form, as they take their pants off and readjust the covers.

“Oh really? So, you've never stayed up for a whole week studying for exams, forgetting to do simple things like eat or shower?” Marie saunters over to the other side of the bed, taking her hoodie off, leaving her in a loose t-shirt and pajama pants.

Jordan turns onto their side, propping their head up with their arm as they watch Marie intently. “Those were necessary sacrifices for success.”

Marie laughs, shaking her head at Jordan. “Contrary to your popular belief, you do need to eat more than once a week to survive” Marie pulls back the covers and shuffles into bed.

“I bet I can last longer.” Jordan chuckles as Marie playfully slaps their arm. She gets on her side to face them, taking a second to adore their playful smile.

“You know what I mean. Admit it, you'd be helpless without me.”

Jordan shifts to their male form as they pull Marie into them, nestling their head in the crook of her neck. “I'd be helpless without you.” There's an undeniable sincerity to their muffled words that Marie holds on to, knowing that they'll always be there when they need each other the most.

Jordan pulls back and places a kiss on her lips, kissing her as if they're sealing a promise, before pulling away. They both lay there, holding each other, getting lost in the depths of each other's eyes. Marie brings a hand up and starts running her fingers through Jordan's soft curls, relishing in the sound they make as they close their eyes in bliss.

“You're so pretty.” Marie whispers out.

Jordan's eyes flutter open, a small smile tugging on their lips as they switch back to their female form. “No, you.”

Marie softly giggles as she brings Jordan's head forward and kisses their forehead, leaning her forehead on theirs after pulling back.

The two begin to drift off to sleep, holding each other tightly, heartbeats falling into the same steady rhythm.

“Goodnight.” Marie breathes out as she feels herself being pulled into slumber.

“Goodnight… I love you.”

It takes a minute, but Jordan's eyes shoot open, finally registering the words that so effortlessly flowed out of their mouth. They expected to be met with that same shocked expression they are currently wearing, but they aren't. In fact, Marie just looks at them smiling fondly as she responds, “I love you too.”

“You… you do?” Jordan's face softens as a mix of relief, surprise and a bit of uncertainty rests on their face.

Marie lets out a short, breathy laugh, looking at Jordan as if they just said the most ridiculous thing. “Why wouldn't I?”

“I- I don't know,” Jordan nervously stutters out.

They steady as Marie holds their face firmly in her hands, looking right into their eyes with unmistakable certainty. “I love you, Jordan Li. completely and honestly.”

Jordan smiles. Genuine joy spreading across their face. “I love you too. completely and honestly.”

They kiss deeply and lovingly, solidifying their growing connection. Jordan situates themself under Marie's arm, head resting on her chest as their arms wrap around her waist. Marie holds them back, kissing the top of their head before they both finally drift off to sleep.

---------

That's the first chapter of NBTS! Again, I wrote this back in January and it was the first thing I've written in a while. But yeah, thanks so much for reading. I shall be releasing chapter 2 NEXT Saturday. Probably gonna release chapters weekly just so I can stay ahead with the rest of it. Again, this is gonna be a long fic, (I'm currently on chapter 8 and I'm just getting started). Speaking of, MASSIVE thanks to @paperdoll201 for beta reading this. She's been the victim of many of my thought dumps and rambles, as well as reading through the fic and giving suggestions, and advice. So yeah, please check her out. She's great. (And also a better writer so go read her stuff too 💜).

Much love 😎👍❤️

-PB

[p.s. each chapter is titled after a song, all which will be on a playlist made for this fic. I'm still working on organizing it, but I'll drop it once it is. Promise.]

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