#Or clean the bathroom

[tswwwit]

Much has been made of those old grand gestures of romance. To die for someone. To kill for someone. To hand over your whole heart, to ruin your life, to pluck the stars from the sky and place them in your lover's palm.

But when you're working with characters who actually can easily kill and die and be thrown into Big Dramatic Moments at the drop of a hat, it's much much funnier (and apt) to go in the other direction. They would do the unthinkable. The impossible! The only thing that could further soil their blood-soaked hands!

They would... do the dishes for them.

#*shocked gasps from the crowd at this absurd declaration #BY HAND even! #Someone in said crowd faints #Or clean the bathroom #Or fold the laundry or walk the dog or vacuum the carpets #Give me domesticity as a sign of devotion #So what if you've slaughtered millions. Who's gonna pick up your dirty socks #Now that's an action that takes REAL effort #These are just some thoughts I think

[reptilia2003]

i really think some of you are just lazy…like omg what do you mean I have to do the dishes again I just did them yesterday?!?

#voting is a basic adult task you have to do regularly like filing taxes and getting your oil changed and cleaning your bathroom 🤷‍♀️ #no it won’t solve everything but my god you can show up to a church or school or whatever every couple years for 30 minutes. jesus #firebombing a Walmart tweet.jpg

[defilerwyrm]

Parents, for the love of everything that ever pretended to be holy, do not make household cleaning a punishment for your children.

My parents did that. As an adult, I would rather stare at a blank wall for five hours straight than wash dishes. I would rather do math problems without a calculator and have my answers read aloud in public than clean a bathroom. If my hatred of cleaning was a capturable energy it could power interstellar travel. All because, growing up, cleaning house was a primary form of punishment.

Don’t fuckin’ do that. You’re not instilling discipline. You’re instilling hatred for something they need to be able to do as adults without hating every microsecond of it.

#parenting #protip: any activity you use as a punishment for children they will passionately hate as adults #about me #this message brought to you by having my day utterly & irrevocably ruined by having to clean bathrooms #instead of the thing i’ve been putting off for a month and FINALLY HAD THE MOTIVATION TO FUCKING DO #fuck only knows if i’ll get around to it before it’s too late now! MOMENT OVER. MOTIVATION GONE #wait how did this happen #10k club

[hajihiko]

it's watermelon 🍉

#komahinanami #Kuzuhina #hinasouda #It doesnt have to be just one. Hajime has 10 fingers AND 10 toes #The brotherhood ring isnt like marriage because you dont get tax benefits and theres no legal documents bc it's illegal #You DO get a free pass to most criminal activities and a sugar daddy. and yknow lifelong partnerhood #Every time kaz gives Hajime a new ring pop it's like they're renewing their vows :) and it's cheaper! #Hajime hinata #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa #An art #I'll rb this later. After I clean the bathroom

[staybeautifulmp3]

okay here’s my advice for you for january2024. get a daily planner and use it to scrapbook!!!! use it to keep track of movies you just watched, music you’re listening to, put pictures of your favorite characters in it, get fun stickers to put in it its so fun! and when its fun its fun youre 100x times more likely to use it as an actual planner! i dont know why no one ever told me this but because it FUN now im using my daily planner to keep track of bills, keep track of my habits, im tracking my workouts with it… i have never been able to use a daily planner for longer than 2 weeks before but now i can cus its FUN

#and then track your achievements!!!!!!!! when you manage to clean the bathroom but that in the book!!!! with exclamation points and bubble #stickers #amanda.doc

[theereina]

This is the level of organized I want to be.

#soft life #soft girl #soft black girls #soft black women #bathroom #clean aesthetic #clean girl #luxury lifestyle #luxury #level up #level up journey #glow up #glowing up #glow up journey #self love journey #self love #self care journey #self care #self improvement #girly moodboard #girly things #girly stuff #soft girl era #soft girl energy #feminine energy

[fluentisonus]

INSANE interaction with the guy cleaning this airport bathroom just now I was struggling get the motion activated tap to work & he just leans over & lightly strokes the underside with two fingers together & when it immediately turns on says to me [irish accent] "there you go. you've just got to treat it like a lady." hello??????

#can't emphasize enough he didn't do this in a creepy way btw it was as casual as breathing & then he went back to #cleaning the bathroom & chatting with his colleague #but. huh #thoughts

[jeremy-knoxs-on-wood]

#aaron minyard #andrew minyard #all for the game #aftg #twinyards #hey remember that time andrew locked aaron in the bathroom to get clean #the foxhole court #the kings men #the raven king

[jessklpy]

Anger and hatred are just a mask to hide sadness and despair...

#HELP I DON'T EVEN KNOW IF I WROTE IT RIGHT #I'm sorry I don't speak english 😭 #I have the headcanon that after a fight Albedo goes to the nearest public bathroom so he can clean himself up... #Frog lived in a warehouse or something like that 'cause he spent all his money on a machine to become a Galvan again... #ben 10 albedo #ben ten #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 #ben 10 fanart #ben tennyson

[myfootyrthroat]

I think there are two totally valid sides to weaponized incompetence that often talk past each other.

I've totally had partners who did stuff like "How was I supposed to know that the vacuum would burn out if you try to vacuum up a ball of yarn and keep running it while it's squealing and smoking. I guess you'd better do all the vacuuming from now on! 🥺"

But I've also had roommates who would be like "Ugh, you said you cleaned the counter, but it looks like you just brushed the crumbs off, wiped it down with 409, and then wiped again with water to remove residue! You have to use this special 17 step routine that involves accounting for barometric pressure & star sign, takes 48 hours, and is based in a very specific family trauma." where the results is "Ok, if you require the counters to be cleaned that way, you have assumed counter-cleaning duty."

#oddly the roommate with the cult ritual kitchen cleaning method frequently left the bathroom looking like a horror movie

[prettyboykatsuki]

✮ tags ; afab + gn!reader (they are wearing a dress and lace panties however), unprotected sex / no prep (it's not rought), semi public sex, 18+ | ✮ wc ; 1.4k (?) idek

✮ a/n ; happy late birthday barou. this is crazy horny my bad fr.

Barou is an uptight person.

He doesn't think of himself that way, fucking obviously. But he's been told multiple times throughout his life that that's how he seems. From his teammates to his little sisters to every single media outlet desperately hoping he has more interesting gossip than a change in the babywipe brands he uses.

But Barou is a straight-forward, straight-laced sort of man. He tries to not come home late, keeps all of his promises, and always makes sure he reverses his car when he parks. He doesn't believe in the pull-out method. He always makes sure any physical intimacy he has with anyone comes after they've both been tested.

He's got a life on the line and there's nothing wrong with being careful. Barou is stiff sure, but he's respectful and tidy and takes care of everything because that's how he was raised.

Barou is so terribly uptight. It is, by all means, completely out of character for him to fucking you in the stall of a high-end restaurant bathroom.

Despite himself, and his best interests, and his general good character - he has your cheek pressed into the stall of the bathroom door and two hands on your hips. The tip of his cock is resting against the curve of your ass, pretty lace set underneath the skirt of your dress. You're in the bathroom of somewhere so upscale with your pussy soaking wet.

And Barou is hard out of his fucking mind. It's been like this all-day. From the minute his morning started, you've done nothing but spoil him. A spotless house (cleaned in the way he like), plenty of food, a planned visit to his parents house and a quiet birthday dinner to end the night. All packaged neatly in the warmth of your smile, an eagerness to show off your affection.

He doesn't care to know if you were meaning to seduce him but you did. He spent most of the day half-stiff, sneaking touches in the car and keeping himself at bay with lingering glances.

The gift at the dinner table did it. A thoughtful gift, a leather wallet - practical but not expensive. That set him off, ruined the rest of his remaining patience. He's not verbal enough to confess his undying love to you.

He can, however, please you. He's good at that, and this way - both of you come out of it feeling better. He's uptight but he's tipped the wait staff enough to make sure everyone keeps quiet about being in the bathroom.

And he's strict about the certain policies he enforces.

But you look good with that dress on, the soft curves of your neckline and the slight shake in your thighs when you bend over. Damp, dark material soiled over your pussy - all trembling even though he hasn't done more than kiss and grope you.

It's unusual how much he wants to fuck you. It's a little unbelievable how badly he wants it. He rubs the tip against you, lets it dig between the thin lace - feels how soft and sticky you are without him even touching you. He leans forward a little, picks you up your hips and pulls you in such a way you're grinding on it without actually moving.

He forgets he's this much stronger than you. You yield easily enough, an open-mouth moan leaving your lips. Barou feels a spike of heat run through him, sharp as blood rushes towards his cock so quick he's lightheaded.

"Ridiculous," He rasps, almost exasperated at how deep he's thinking about fucking you "What do you get out of being so good to me?"

"Don't want a-anything," He nudges the tip into your clit just to make you stumble "I just want you to have a good time. Did you?"

Of course he did. How could he not? He doesn't reply, tugging the lace of your panties to one side with a laugh that might sound harsh if you aren't listening close enough.

"I had a good time baby. It was fucking great actual," He says, and it's well-intended. His throat is so thick it almost feels sore. He doesn't remember the last time he was this desperate to fuck you - if he's ever felt this antagonized by your kindness. A good, sweet lover you are.

Gentle reprieve for the ever uptight, ever high-strung Barou. A man of action, of course he wants to fuck you about it. The skin to skin makes his grip on your thighs tighten, he can feel his nails digging into the flesh. The indentations must ache but you don't complain. He'll kiss it better later. Eventually.

Silky and dripping , such a perfect place to drill his cock into. Like it was made for him to be in. Carve a spot for himself out of you with the heavy steel of his shaft. You're so fucking perfect for him. His perfect, sweet angel.

You deserve to be fucked with this much effort at least. Barou wants to stretch you, so he does. He pushes the tip in slowly, reaches his hands out of your tits and squeezes hard. He licks up the side of your neck, kissing your jaw.

"Relax," He offers, as tender as he can be right now "Unless you wanna be sore on the way home."

How ironic he's telling you to relax. If he doesn't pour every ounce of his concentration into stilling - he'd fuck himself into without thinking twice. Fill you the brim, brush your womb and stay there until it remembers who he is. He wants it so bad it almost makes him sick, but he's being stingy enough skipping on more foreplay.

A man of good character doesn't fuck his lover in a shitty bathroom stall. But maybe Barou is learning to relax, because all he can think about is how the acoustics in this tight space do you no favors. He can hears just how soaked you are, can hear every short pant of need - ragged from desire in the walls. How it cumulates in the air until it's too hard to breathe.

You do relax, and Barou rocks his hips slow. You cry out. He laughs, just a little. The adrenaline never stops being addicting.

"Ya like that? Like how that fucking feels? How my," Deeper, another inch pushed into the heat of you "How my cock feels all the way in here?" He presses his palm into the place underneath your tummy.

"Ungh, uh-huh, yes."

He drops his head on your back and shudders. He's going to lose his fucking mind if he isn't more careful. Deeper and harder and faster, you move in tandem until he bottoms out. Barou can feel your ass and hips on his waist and how much they're fucking trembling. He hasn't even fucked you yet, hasn't moved an inch and you're shaking.

It's so cute he could cum right away. How adorable. You're so bubbly and bright and don't think twice about talking back to him when he's being fussy - but you can't keep it together long enough to hold yourself up over his cock. He doesn't know if he could love you anymore.

"Gonna move." He tells, and you nod. Barou starts shallow so you can adjust, but when there's no longer any resistance - he doesn't hesitate in giving it all to you. Every inch of his cock, over and over with an unruly amount of want.

Barou fucks into you hard enough to set motion. It's noisy. The sound of skin hitting skin, of your pussy being stretched over and over - his belt clacking from where it's tucked underneath his cock to give him room. Over all of that is the sound of your voice echoing, soft little whimpers that turn into full-blown cries as he fucks you deeper and deeper - knocking himself into your g-spot so much it's cruel.

He can feel your insides spasm around him before you have a chance to warn him. Tremors in short waves until your hand shoots up to the door - grabbing for something that's not there.

"Shoei," You warn, pitchy and desperate and hot "I'm g-gonna,"

"Cum on my fucking cock," He spits. He needs it more than you do "I'll let you make a mess this time."

Barou watches you fold beneath him. Your form collapses forward and he has to wrap an arm around your waist to keep you up. Your walls tighten and convulse around, milking him for all he's worth. He pushes himself to the hilt before following after you, cumming deep inside with a short groan as he presses a kiss t your shoulder.

"Happy Birthday, Shoei." You mumble, turning your head to look at him with your face all messy. He chuckles.

"Yeah, happy birthday to me."

#barou x reader #bllk x reader #barou smut #bllk smut #writing tag #OKAY. I NEED TO GO CLEAN THE BATHROOM NOW LMAO #SEE U ALL DAY AFTER TMMRW

[keymintt]

dyed my hair blue again

#by dyed i mean my roommate dyed it in our kitchen while we were blasting 2000s pop god bless #i did rinse it out myself though! that was an ordeal #if you ever think of me as someone dignified and cool: don't. i was on all fours with my head under the bathtub faucet for 20 minutes #bc i forgot that the shower nozzle detaches and can turn into a sprayer............. also cleaned the bathroom floor while i was at it... #i consider myself someone who has blue hair often but the last time i dyed it was like. july?? fucked up how time passes #i don't think this needs to be said but i have pronouns regardless of if my hair is blue. could you imagine how funny that would be though #with how i dress i don't think i need to blue hair for ppl to guess i have something going on #no i won't shut up

[hajihiko]

what do you MEAN what's the difference

#Shh no one tell him love is an unstoppable force that comes in many forms and isnt always a romantic marriage kinda thing #He doesnt wanna have to kill ppl he loves for Yakuza reasons but then society collapses and the clan is gone and hes like SHIT #'Now I gotta actually confront things in my life god DAMN IT' #I deep cleaned the bathroom and I'm not leaving the house in this snow so that's my work for the day #Posting time #An art #Fuyuhiko kuzuryu #Hajime hinata #Sonia nevermind #Sdr2 #Super danganronpa 2 #Danganronpa 2 #super danganronpa goodbye despair #Kuzuhina

[theyellowhue]

I think its so hilarious that former playboy Prapai said "no" to sex with his whole chest and when he admitted that, "okay, i played servant all day for you BUT NOT FOR SEX. The end goal for today was to get kisses from you and maybe heavy petting" then you can just see the resolve in his eyes disintegrating but he was still firm on "what i really want is to love you and have your heart and if that leads to sex, then thats just a bonus not a priority"

Prapai really went from playboy to devoted house husband after a one-night stand and a single date from a college kid who is so emotionally guarded that the walls he built around his heart could make the great wall run for its money

#prapai became a house husband overnight and i think thats hilarious #novel prapai said that he'll never lift a finger anymore after living alone in london but the moment sky told him to clean his bathroom #prapai resisted so little and did a westley as you wish #love in the air #love in the air the series #prapaisky

[hometoursandotherstuff]

#hate housework #cleaning the bathroom #other stuff

[theereina]

I love aesthetic bathrooms.

#soft life #soft girl #bathroom #clean aesthetic #aesthetic #luxury homes #luxury lifestyle #luxury aesthetic #luxury moodboard