#Reasons I want to be a psychologist

[69ottersinatrenchcoat]

The pipeline of "I'm a writer who knows their characters inside out" to ✨DID (or OSDD) diagnosis✨ is one I've seen one too many times.

If you have a character version does this make you an interject? (just kidding I've been around longer than the character)

#God damn it host #It's not normal #To hear your characters commenting on everything you do #my brother in Christ #you have a problem #actually did #actually dissociative #did osdd #did system #disassociative identity disorder #Reasons I want to be a psychologist #posted by 🔥

[hiddenmoonbeam]

love waiting for a phone appointment and the clock ticks past the set time....... 15 min now.... is her day busy and delayed, will she call in a sec or in half an hour instead? is she for some reason not calling at all but I didn’t get notified? has she forgotten? no idea and there's no way for me to call so I just have to wait.....

#it's a nurse checking in about the antidepressants #she's been lovely so far but i've felt anxious about it today for some reason #and now this #what....am i just supposed to go about my day until she calls??? sounds fake #i'll just be anxiously doing nothing while waiting #EDIT UPDATE: she was just late and also I almost cried at one point #not necessarily related to the depression but another personal Thing and even though what she said was broad and not something new really #I just.... a medical professional saying I'm far from the only one and I'll get there and just #ah yeah crying now #and i might not get another appointment with her :( fingers crossed tho that the doctor want her to check in instead of him #and fingers crossed even tighter that the psychologist won't just offer group therapy again I DON’T WANT THAT IT DIDN’T WORK LAST TIME

[milimeters-morales]

i have a handful of ppl with DID following me and i tend to unknowingly follow a few so sometimes i’ll see a post that really fits what i’ve gone through and have to deal with now (like nearly 100% accurate) and i get this strange feeling that i’m suddenly walking into a room that was in the middle of a huge discussion and 9/10 times i check the original tags and it’s made by someone with DID i’m like damn we are brothers and sisters and whoever else is there in arms right neow…

#not spiderstuff #like it feels great to relate so much like we really aren’t so different you and i…. meeting someone with did in the psych ward really+ #helped me break that barrier i built for myself when i was young and believing everything th internet said about mentally ill people #like they all treated us the same we were all the dirt they walked on. i would make no progress fighting with someone about if their panic+ #attacks and triggers and DID were real . we literally got triggered over the same things had the same issues #were in there for the same reason he was just a little bit older than me #like what was the point? why would i fight you? we should be fighting that nurse over there together ❤️ #strength in numbers infighting is what they want they literally make jokes about it all the time #but yeah damn 13 year old me really unlearned and learned some shit during my stay. like how you never trust a psychologist

[fidgetspringer]

It's done 🏳️‍⚧️

#i don't know anything else yet #she's just gonna look into who to refer me to next #it's so hard trying to explain that yes i want a psychologist and no i'm not horribly depressed or otherwise suffering #it's just the dysphoria thanks #but she still wheedled out of me my prior mental health issues and got very caught up in that #she even told me i didn't need to talk about it to her so i just tried to say very little #i don't like talking about my mental health to strangers at the best of times #especially not to some random doctor who only needs to hand me off to someone else #i get that she needs reason to do so but it just makes my skin crawl #hopefully i'll hear back soon ish without her calling me to ask me any more questions

[candyn-gutz]

#i love actively doings that i know will upset me. i love self sabotage 👍 #listen im just a curious feller. or something #i should go back to therapy... i started for trauma and now wanting to switch to problems /i/ have is so terrifying #i dont want to change my psychologist either shes so sweet and being lent to someone else feels like the world will actually end #i dont knowwwww but i cannot function like this its affecting my body too when i can hardly handle change #<- the whole reason im like this lately is not being able to handle change too. and also. i just get so violently jealous <3 #and i end up releasing that anger on people that dont deserve it ^_^ i should be put down i think #vent in tags

[yeonban]

Laying in bed thinking about how every Wammy's orphan had at least one "major" in their studies that they had THE most advanced work on (& typically the reason why the lettered children received their respective letter was bc they excelled so much in their chosen field that they became a staple in it) and how for A it was criminology, whereas for Tobias it was criminal psychology

#muse: a (albert muller). #muse: tobias. #* a (albert muller). / development. #* tobias. / development. #Such a teensy hc but I think it's such an important aspect of both of their characters? #Another reason why Tobias IS able to fill in Deneuve's shoes as a detective & why he's an asset to both the law enforcement & the criminals #It's pretty handy when he can look at a crime scene (or at photos of it) and instantly be able to give you a description of the criminal #for the law enforcement it's plain why; meanwhile for the criminals it's easier to get revenge on the right target while avoiding #needless bloodbaths w groups that haven't done anything wrong regardless of how things might have looked at the crime scene #And obviously it helps in a BUNCH of other situations too; such as being able to tell who; when & why sb is about/wants to commit a crime #...while simultaneously knowing what buttons to push to MAKE them either commit it or refrain from it #Not to mention that criminal psychologists /can/ technically fill in as therapists for criminals too if need be

[neon-angels-system]

why is so much of this stuff

Me: "Hey. I'm 90% certain I have depression. Can I get help for that." (Survey / psychologist / etc): "Hm... Well, have you had suicidal thoughts?" M: "Yes." "Are you going to?" M: "No." "Well, how often over the past two weeks have you felt terrible?" M: "Pretty much constantly." "How long has this been happening?" M: "I have memory issues." "Okay, but how long has this been happening?" M: "...8 years?" "And how much has this ruined your life?" M: "Quite a bit, but at this point it has been happening for 8 years and I have developed healthy coping mechanisms." "Well, since it sounds like you might be struggling with negative thoughts, you could download this app :)"

#vent #like cool thanks for making me tell you. in detail. about how much I have wanted to die #and then give me some useless app or shrugging your shoulders #why did it take me going through that like 6 times (2 times in a row recently) before the clinical psychologist I had to wait 6 weeks to se #finally said 'oh. you don't need a diagnosis to get antidepressants. just talk to a GP' #like hello?? why didn't somebody tell me that any of the other times where I explicitly stated that getting antidepressants was #half of the reason I was putting up with any of this?? #seriously tanks my mental health more than the everything else does oh my fucking god

[aeolids-zenith]

i hate posts that are supposed to be positivity for people who lack friends or that say that social connections are like unexpectedly inevitable/straightforward to make or something, but then like. don't elaborate on how that is possible. it always just makes me feel more hopeless

#space chirrup #idk. i suppose even if there was actually anything theoretically actionable in those posts i still might not feel like it'd work for me #i mean i've tried googling for actual advice but for some reason ''how to make friends as a chronically online socially stunted #possibly autistic barely-transitioned transgender young adult introvert with esoteric interests'' doesn't turn up anything useful #(idk if ''possibly autistic'' is accurate all the self-assessments i've done plus the psychologist i went to said i probably wasn't) #i suspect that i might be unnecessarily limiting myself with all of that #but i have absolutely no idea what is a reasonable amount to step outside of my comfort zone/interests #i don't even have anything that i want out of basic social interactions the thing that compels me is intimacy. #but i don't want that with someone i don't know already. #but how do i get to know people when there's nothing i want to do with them and i have trouble feeling like i want things in general #does that mean i'm depressed. i've had conflicting feedback on whether i am. what is the productive course of action if i am #bc i keep thinking that like medication wouldn't be worth it if i didn't have a plan to actually improve my life but that if i had a #plan i could just do it without medication #but idk maybe medication would allow me to identify an actually viable plan. ggggggg #ALSO does it make a difference that i only feel strongly about this when it's late at night #people always say not to trust how you feel at night but it's not like i feel GOOD about my life in the daytime it's just kinda neutral #like there's enough for me to survive without significant effort and i'm not completely joyless but idk what it's all for #and night is the only time i feel motivated to do anything about it. #though usually that thing is just writing a vent post on tumblr or something equivalently unproductive lolllll

[embryhallowed]

Hmmm

Hmmmm

Hmmmmmmmm

#I'm sitting here with a stupid spine that causes me pain and it's made worse by two huge bajongajongs #and also have a therapist and psychologist and a really good PCP who is very empathetic towards me #and I'm in a blessed state that treats me like a human being #nonbinary #genderqueer #lgbtqia #enby #top surgery #might actually be possible??? #musings brought to you after i needed to change out of my binder because time and safety reasons #and also because it was hurting my spine #but I've been binding every day for over 1.5 years now #and while I've always foolishly thought i wasn't that bothered by dysphoria #the thought of putting on a normal bra to go out to a restaurant made me want to vomit in a way i didn't expect #soooooooo maybe #I've already lived through one of the most painful surgeries known to man #what's a little tiddy trimming?? #personal #gender #bleh #DDs: the actual bane of my existence #and no i did not change out of my binder before going to the restaurant #embryh #dysphoria

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

nothing sucks more than being made to apply for the 20 jobs/100 points a month for centrelink and they STILL havent paid you for the last month. and also pretending to do applications for jobs that you know you wont get.... bc still, after your past year's job experience, NO ONE wants to hire you. fucking hate job hunting man.

#life #about me #shut up ilona #ilona's job hunting thoughts and woes lol #ilona's work dilemmas #ilona's work thoughts #besides the point that i keep getting told to apply for disability job program instead and claim it's my anxiety that makes me need it #except i need a psychologist and my doctor to vouch for me #but at least i dont have to physically go into a job provider office anymore and get dismissed after a 2 min meeting... #.... all to be told that i should PAY FOR MY OWN xero or myob course instead of them paying for it for me.... which they should actually do #but bro it's $800 that i dont have on jobseeker FUCKING PAY IT FOR ME #but you have savings yeah?? well yes but thats not your business and im not going to use those.... bc now i have to use them for my car #and also the main reason i want my backpay after not applying for JS for 6 months is bc my car rego is due 2 days before my birthday.... #....and it $519.60 so PAY ME CENTRELINK FOR FUCKS SAKE #and also ive only applied for 34 jobs over the last 6 months and kept vouching that at least one of them would instantly hire me #bc i had one year's recent experience which is obvs what my old boss fucked up for me with being my referee for that disability admin posit #*position..... or one of you dumb motherfuckers putting out useless job ads hire me for fucks sake it's not that fucking hard y'know what i

[opia-jpg]

.

#i have a light feeling that my mom might be hinting at something #with the whole. mentioning my mood swings and sensory issues and poor social skills and such #i say i'm unsure because she's not one to be subtle in situations like this? so i feel like i'm projecting #but she did suggest (partially related) going to a psychologist #and the thing about me is that i'm very self aware about my many flaws and therefore have decided #that i can't fix them or that it's not that bad as long as *i know* the issue is there #which is starting to sound like an issue in itself? but i feel like im being way too dramatic every time #i know i'm just in a stressful spot in my life and that it will pass in a few months #but i am starting to seriously consider getting an outsider's perspective. just in case #im feeling down *all* the time lately but there's always a reason to blame so i feel like it's just rotten luck and not something within me #there's not enough time but also too much of it for me to make excuses for not being able to do Anything at all and i feel paralyzed #but isn't it just the everyday terror of being in charge of yourself #i wish i could come up with a definite answer but there isn't one and the childish part of me is so frustrated with it #i have a fantasy of violently breaking my arms that doesn't lead anywhere i just feel the urge consistently enough that it's a pattern #(ive never self harmed i know i won't that's why it's just a fantasy) #i crave complete anonymity i crave deep genuine human connection and i don't want to talk to anyone. ever again. #ive talked with at least three different people partially about those thoughts #but talking about it is difficult and like pulling teeth #im clumsy with my words. can't quite find the precise meaning i want. i stutter and hum and mumble #i hate talking but if i don't i will explode #i want to be taken seriously but saying things outloud makes them sound so harsh and i don't know if it is that serious #but it's a pebble of thought that i can't stop turning around in my head over and over and over until im sick #never! ending! story! jesus christ #vent post #← tagging just in case #pretend you've never read it

[hillsofuhhtennessee]

I think Paul worded things in a way shittier way than he should have/intended but the sheer number of people acting like him being GNC is some kind of gotcha on comment sections really prove his (and Dee Snider’s) point on not lumping that together with having serious physical issues with yourself and seeking serious physical solutions. It’s incorrect and downright dangerous and pisses me off wherever I see it, and unfortunately I’ve been seeing it more and more often.

#sincerely: someone who actually feels better about myself in long skirts and tie tops because it brings out how rectangular i am #“wow why do i sometimes feel such disgust as being physically female when i’m a noodle with a face” #ironically being “conforming” visually brings out how stilted and sexless i really act #anyways i’m not going any further on this subject for a multitude of reasons #not a doctor not a psychologist and i stay far away from human problems in general. Come back when you want to talk converting gas cabinet #before anyone goes flaming me: i don’t care how you live your life or what you do to yourself and i don’t see it as the government’s place #To regulate it. It’s supposed to be a “free country”

[skenpiel]

what the fuck man. i bit my arm super duper hard a buncha times last night for some reason. and it hurts still :(

#also i did like the stupidest thing which is tomorrow im gonna go see my psychologist #and last week he was like so im gonna send you some questionnaires about your intrusive thoughts i want you to fill them in #for some reason i guess last night i decided it would be a GREAT idea to do them while so drunk i could barely make out the words.......... #luckily i dont think i managed to actually submit it. lol #anyways that was fucking stupid. i wish i hadnt decided to do that

[not-poignant]

tbqh I didn't realize I was curious about gary/efnisien until you started talking about the fact that you were writing it - but now I keep finding myself wondering: what does gary domming efnisien look like? I understand if you don't want to elaborate on this yet since you haven't finished/posted the thing but I thought I'd ask anyway. Regardless, hope you have a great day! thanks for all your wonderful creations <3

Hi anon!

I'm not actually writing it, I'm just thinking about writing it.

Dr Gary dominating Efnisien would look very different in any fic they were a pairing (kind of like Augus and Gwyn aren't the same in The Wildness Within, to the canon, to like, The Nascent Diplomat and their BDSM dynamic is definitely not always the same because it's determined by circumstance and personality more than it is by like...anything entrenched and biological).

But I'm also not going to share what it would look like in a fic I'm just imagining because like... I'm only imagining it, it would be very spoilery for the fic itself, did I say that Dr Gary was specifically going to be dominating Efnisien, or only that he might be topping, or that they were going to be in a relationship? And to be honest, I don't like thinking about Dr Gary with Efnisien at all while writing Falling Falling Stars because it reaaaally muddies the waters re: the specific fic.

I've never actually confirmed that Dr Gary is a dominant in any of my writing to date. We've thought about it, and speculated, and imagined it, but in like the side fics and the main fic that he exists in, he's just a dude, he could even be straight, and that's the way I like it so far. Like, I've talked about how he could be a lazy dom with Mika, and how I have zero interest in writing that, but like...that's as far as it goes, lol. Anyone who never saw my Tumblr account could imagine he's just a straight guy who happens to be an ally, it's perfect.

If I ever get around to writing Underline the Black things might change! But I also might never get around to writing it, so we'll see!

#asks and answers #underline the black #fae tales au #fae tales #dr gary konowalous #efnisien ap wledig #i not only haven't finished it #i haven't even started it #right now it's really just an idea #but yeah talking about their dynamic would be spoilery #plus i actually *don't* want to imagine it in great detail right now #it just feels kind of wrong while still writing FFS #it was actually one of the reasons i have never speculated about ef/gary before #even though i was asked quite a bit #and quite a few people ship them #efnisien was abused by a psychologist in FFS #i didn't want to inadvertently sexualise another therapeutic relationship #even subtly #so i'm just in team 'nope' #the only reason i can even think about it now is that we're like very close to the end

[echoesofadream]

akddjf:!/’a- i think i know a program i wanna study in university but i would have to move bc its in another city ajdjxxx. i cant do that sort of commitment but also you have to be committed if u wanna succeed in studies!! its like umm its ethology and zoology and biology etc…

#i also dont trust myself #cause i thought i wanted to be a psychologist and decided to do those things (apply #move and do it) #but i didnt want it or was unable to in reality #so now idk #i also wanna be a librarian maybe just cause it feels realistic like i could do that #the problem is i dont know myself #ive always liked animals thi #tho #i like psychology a lot too tho…does that mean i wanna study it #i mean yes i would but i cant study cause of reasons #but imagine like doing research on animals…omg..

[phoebosacerales]

Astrologers get triggered by this question because they think it's a personal attack, like people are telling them to give out readings for free. People have to pay their bills, but Capitalism does ruin everything, and you shouldn't need to charge so high to be able to survive or live comfortably. Paying thousands for a spiritual retreat is ridiculous, maybe doesn't necessarily defeat the purpose of being spiritual, but it is sad as hell that it becomes just a place for rich people to feel better about themselves. I question this all the time because I want to be an astrologer, but I really don't know if I want to make that a career. Spiritual and religious experiences shouldnt be a luxury of the rich. Nothing should, actually. And you can't deny that the commodification of spirituality is indeed troubling. If your only answer to that issue is shutting down the discussion, that's just being lazy (consequently racist as well) and taking a colluding stance with scammers who make a product of spirituality and take advantage of people's vulnerabilities.

#i dont want to be a private psychologist for similar reasons #many reasons actually but not wanting to make people's vulnerabilities a target for business is one of them #it's even more ridiculous what happens in marketing in the psych field #even when some marketing strategies in the field are illegal