#Steve introspection

[artiststarme]

Steve couldn’t understand why the Party wanted him around. He didn’t see why anyone would want to hang around some deadbeat that peaked in high school, he certainly wouldn’t. Case in point, all of his friends were going somewhere. Dustin was a genius, Robin was brilliant, and Eddie was going to be a world famous rockstar like Freddy Mercury was. Max was healing nicely and she would be something important, Lucas was great with people so he’d have a bright future, and Mike was… passionate. El and Will were fabulous so he was sure they would amount to everything.

Why would any of them drag themselves down with Steve? Robin could choose so many other soulmates better than Steve. He couldn’t relate to being a “band geek” in high school or working full time to save money for college, he couldn’t even get into college. In his mind, anyone could be a better friend to her than he could.

And why was Eddie dating him? Beautiful, smart, strategic, funny Eddie. He could have anyone he wanted and yet he settled for Steve. No matter how many times Eddie told him he loved him and couldn’t imagine life without him, Steve couldn’t wrap his head around it. What was so special about himself that all of these people stuck around?

Nothing had changed over the years, really. He was still the neglected boy sitting on the bleachers after baseball practice, waiting for his parents to come pick him up. Even back when he was little, his parents knew he was nothing special. They’d taken the first flight out of Hawkins and had hardly looked back since.

Hell, even Steve’s friends in high school figured it out. Tommy and Carol hadn’t said a word to encourage him to stay, they sent him away with silent glares and indifferent shrugs as if being a friend to Steve was more of an effort than it was worth.

And Nancy, his first heartbreak. She dropped him like everyone else always had. As soon as another boy showed her kindness and affection, she dropped Steve like a hot potato and broke his heart on the way out the door.

Steve knew it was only a matter of time before the Party grew tired of him. Every outing, Steve watched them like it would be the last time. Because just like everyone else, they would all leave and move onto better things. And Steve would be left broken with no one to pick up the pieces.

#Robin is mortified when she hears about this and makes it a point to prove how much she loves him every day #Steve will never not be her Dingus #Eddie too is horrified and starts showering Steve with affection #he’s never touch starved again after Eddie gets ahold of him #eventually Steve realizes that the Party will never leave him and they never do #stranger things #steddie #fanfic #steve harrington #eddie munson #introspection #robin buckley

[loveinhawkins]

Once they’ve left The War Zone, the RV radio goes from just static, to a promising murmur, before playing a song at full volume.

It’s not something that Steve would expect Eddie to know the words to, all new wave and bouncy synths.

But he definitely does, perfectly imitating the preacher-like delivery in the song.

Steve can sense Eddie pointing at him theatrically in his peripheral vision, and though he can’t turn to look, he can just tell that he’s also wearing a shit-eating grin.

“And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile,” Eddie half-sings, laughing through it.

“Munson, siddown while the automobile is in motion.”

And you may find yourself in a beautiful house, with a beautiful wife. And you may ask yourself, “Well, how did I get here?”

Steve makes a turning, takes the RV off the road. There’s a suspicious sounding thump from behind—Eddie stumbling while trying to get back to his seat. He’s still singing.

Letting the days go by, let the water hold me down.

Steve shakes his head. Smiles.

And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful house.” And you may tell yourself, “This is not my beautiful wife.”

He parks right on the grass, gives the steering wheel a fond pat, like you would do for a horse, maybe. A thanks for getting us here kind of pat.

“Vamoose!” he calls, over the sound of chatter and hurried footsteps.

When he gets out of his seat, the RV is empty—apart from Eddie, curled up on the bench, looking out the window.

He’s still mouthing along to the song: “Same as it ever was, same as it ever was.”

The sun’s shining through, lighting up his side profile—briefly turns his eyes from brown to amber.

Christ, you’re pretty.

It’s not the first time that Steve’s had the thought. But maybe it’s the first time he really lets himself hear it.

Time isn't holding up, time isn't after us.

“It’s gonna be okay, you know?” Steve suddenly feels a need to say it.

Eddie blinks through the glare of the sun. “You think so?” he asks softly.

The radio’s turned to static again, but that’s okay. It’s done its job. It got them here.

“I know so,” Steve says.

He offers his hand, pulls Eddie outside.

You know how I know, Eddie Munson? Because, when all this is over, I’m gonna kiss you.

#Steve introspection through song lyrics #steddie #steddie ficlet #steddie fic #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #pre steddie

[the-lark-ascending69]

> be a robin buckley fan

> be lesbian

> project on robin

> look up "internalized homophobia robin buckley" on tumblr because it's cathartic

> 3/4 of the posts are about st3ddie or just about steve

#saw one in which steve was like ''no robin you don't understand! i have never been loved! i don't know how that feels like!'' #i have several grips about that interpretation #going from the fact that's not true (dustin is clearly a big steve fan + robin herself cares about him deeply) #to the fact he probably wouldn't be introspective enough to voice his emotions this concisely not to mention he'd probably wouldn't take #a moment to realize he's never felt loved if that were the case. i mean. he could think that. when he's like 35 and more in touch with his #inner world. 19yo steve can't even get the hint that hitting on a girl who's already clearly taken (nancy) is wrong so like i don't expect #him to be that smart #but i can live with people having takes i don't agree with. my opinion doesn't have to be everyone else's opinion if you see steve that way #it fine #what bothered me was the fact he was saying this to a lesbian living in the 80s lmao #who tells him that 1) her whole life has been an error 2) she doesn't think he'd want to be close to her if he truly knew her and 3) #3) is paralyzed by fear of social suicide if she dares believe for even a second that the girl she likes may like her too #like i dont need people to do deep dives into robin lore and quote from memory lines from Surviving Hawkins abt robin feeling like she's #rotten inside. not supposed to have friends. feeling like something is wrong with her and that pushes people away etc etc #the fact that she's a lesbian should tell you enough abt who has the biggest chances of being loved 😭 #also bothered me that it showed up when looking up posts abt internalized homophobia because?? where's the internalized homophobia therw #unless it's gay steve feeling bad abt it in an AU (as if canon robin didn't go through it) #like look im not bothered to find steve-centric content in the robin tag cos people are gonna tag her in posts mentioning her. #she's his friend. #but there are barely any posts at all about robin's internalized homophobia. like i saw 2 or 3. compared to all the steve or steddie ones #where's the love for my babygirl 😭😭 #anti steddie #not really but y'know i don't wanna bother anyone #edit: the bit about there being like 3 posts on robin w internalized homophobia isn't exactly true. there are a few. but they still feel #drowned in st3ddie posts #like something isn't right here

[pthalomars]

Pete: Me? I'm straight, I loooove women. Oh hell yeah I do.

Claudia: Really? Because you seem to care a lot about what Steve, a Gay Man, thinks of you. Have you maybe, possibly, considered that you might also like men?

Pete:

#warehouse 13 #wh13 #pete lattimer #claudia donovan #steve jinks #i just think that pete has a fair amount of introspection to do #why do you feel the need to rip your shirt off and show your rack to steve? answer this

[stevieharringtonwifeguy]

you know how in cartoons and shit it's a regular thing where like. the team will need a distraction and so the Comedic Relief somehow ends up in drag. that's steve to me. and like, it's always his idea. like to the exclusion of all other options, steve will always be trying to find a reason to dress as a woman. like oh, we need to go get info from this guy? i better pretend to be a girl and go hit on him. oh robin your parents won't let a guy stay over? that's fine i've got a dress

every time he does it everyone's like babes... is there something you want to tell us? and steve's just like yeah??? i want to tell you i think it'd be a good plan to dress me as a girl for this thing???? what the fuck else would i be telling you?????? robin gets eddie to drive her to indy solely so she can pick up trans zines to place inconspicuously where steve might find them

#im a big believer in transfem 'yeah everyone wants to be a girl' stevie like. she's not the most introspective woman #steve harrington #transfem steve harrington #platonic stobin

[alexturne]

@BBC Radio 6 Music:

“It looks partly like some sort of 70s Spanish TV drama” @steve_lamacq speaks to the @arcticmonkeys about the visual direction of their new album, The Car 🚗 Listen to the full interview at 6pm tomorrow on @BBCSounds

#arctic monkeys #alex turner #matt helders #steve lamacq always does incredible interviewz #s #interview #I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS #alex obviously enjoys being interviewed by steve too #like he respects his opinions that much is obvious #and can i just take a moment to appreciate how calm alex seems these days? so gentle and present and ??? idk #there is just a gentleness to his words and his voice and the introspection is so clear at all times #but at the same time he seems so excited to share this new stuff #you can tell he is proud of it in his own quiet little way #the introvertedness of his true being is really being shown off these days #more genuine than ever before id say #there is less facade going on atm and i love that for him #that he feels more comfortable being himself and being transparent about stuff

[kurokoros]

the Duffers really are just 0/3 on cool plotlines they could have done for Steve like. exploring his family life in any meaningful way? confirming he sustained a traumatic brain injury during S2 and saying that he lost sport scholarships because he couldn’t play basketball, baseball, or participate in swim meets his senior year of high school?? letting Steve come to the realization that the reason his relationships post-Nancy never last long isn’t because he’s still in love with her but instead because he’s terrified of having another person that he loves call him bullshit, call their relationship bullshit, and end up happy with the guy she cheated with???

but no, just make him pine for nancy fucking wheeler again. that’s great duffers. have some self-respect

#alisha babbles #stranger things #steve harrington #stranger thoughts #every time i think about st@ncy in S4 i have to resist the urge to rip something apart with my teeth #sorry to be unhinged but steve could be such a deep and introspective character #but instead he's just pining and being the dumb friend that keeps being repeatedly kicked (literally) by the narrative

[musicalchaos07]

Steve to Nancy: You gave me the biggest thump of my life

Jonathan: *literally punched Steve which jump started his character growth*

#Steven I know you're introspecting or whatever but uh you grew because you got your ass beat #and then a 13 year old needed your help #and you can say nooo he didn't but Steve WENT TO JONATHAN'S TO APOLOGIZE he didn't know Nancy would be there he was going to be there #his intention was to tell jonathan he was sorry and then he finally got caught in the demogorgon nonsense #stranger things #steve harrington #jonathan byers #stonathan #a lil bit #enough for me to tag #pls s5 reunite my boys

[blood-mocha-latte]

part four of the vietnam war au is here!

chapter summary:

Rain, which comes down in buckets now, falls from the sky like the oceans overturned and soaks Billy down to his bones. He barely even notices his boots are wet, as Steve Harrington holds his helmet like a bowl to collect as much fresh water as he can. It fills up with alarming speed, and it runs down the sides of his somehow still-pale face, down his neck and chest – bare save for the flak jacket – as he drinks it with a greed nearly unknown to Billy. (Nearly.) “Not gonna waste the damn canteen,” He shouts to Billy, drenched and almost shining. Billy just snorts, and lets it fledge into a laugh when Harrington offers his helmet to him like a joke that's allowed to be serious. He takes it, only half kidding, tilts his head up and overturns it, the further onslaught of water no more refreshing than the warm rain, but worth it for Harrington's laugh.

#rie writes #harringrove #steve harrington #billy hargrove #yet another introspective billy hargrove part #all this dude does is think man idk that's just how it is

[a-little-unsteddie]

hi hi!!! as one sleepy time loop writer to another, may i please request stonathan timeloop for the wip ask game?

always always! i’m genuinely super excited for this au, i just. am spooked. :D i got carried away writing :b

last ask - will lead to first ask

—

“Sucks, man,” Steve nodded, crossing his arms across his chest defensively.

They had always seemed to be at weird stalemate, the path of their relationship unclear. Even now, Jonathan wasn’t sure how they were supposed to move onward. He wanted to, desperately, but he’d never known how, especially after he and Nancy had broken up last summer.

“Thank you,” Jonathan said, once he put down the glass. He smiled gratefully at Steve, who smiled hesitantly in return and nodded softly.

Make me write!

#jonathan is introspective i think #jonathan byers #steve harrington #stonathan #steve x jonathan #unsteddie answers #cuips tag #wip weekend

[butchjess]

steve harrington the human punching bag martyr. men will ask is anyone going to sacrifice their bodies in order to protect other people. And then not wait for an answer

#st #steve gets torn up by demobats only so they can have a little scene where nancy rips her shirt in order to patch him up. and then he is fine #steve’s torture scene plays out like a slapstick comedy routine. #steve getting beat unconscious by billy is undercut by him screaming as max drives his car #jonathan beats the shit out of him which is funnily enough i think the most seriously they ever take steves injured moments #holding the coke can to his face to stop the swelling it playing a part in his self introspection the same way hoppers torture in s4 does #for him. #but then they just kind of drop that and well he is the action hero so he has to be covered in his own blood #steve harrington #stranger things

[tauntedperfume]

What if after they all defeat vecna shit rewinds to the beginning, but without all the upside down shit but they all remember. They have to go back to high school with these even harder to explain trauma bonds and fucked up mental healths like. That would be a great way to get to know the characters more

#stranger things #stranger things season four #stranger things season five #steve harrington #eddie munson #nancy wheeler #will byers #lucas sinclair #dustin henderson #mike wheeler #joyce byers #jim hopper #max mayfield #character introspection the tv series

[kacatshi]

Steve disliked Jonathan before the issues with Nancy were even on the horizon. The short and sweet of it was that he disliked Jonathan because he was different, though there was more to it than that. It wasn't cut as plain and simple as that, though Steve was fine letting people assume that it was. It was better than explaining to them that Jonathan stood out in that odd way of his, and that sort of forced Steve to notice him more, and that brought about something in Steve that he didn't want to deal with.

Whatever it was, it came and went in possibly the worst way - it turned into this anger that Steve didn't like about himself. That, too, came and went, thankfully.

--

Steve disliked Eddie. Probably more than he used to dislike Jonathan but for the exact same reasons that he didn't want to deal with. And the thing was, Eddie Munson seemed to thrive on the attention, doing the opposite of shining away from it with his big personality and standing on tables to proclaim his hatred for people just like Steve. It was so infuriating, even more so when the kids (Steve's kids) started hanging out with him and, therefore, bringing Steve's attention to Eddie more and more even though he'd graduated high school already.

Maybe Dustin was right about Steve being jealous, not that Steve would admit to it out loud. Maybe Steve just wished the kids would stop mentioning Eddie Munson so that Steve could stop noticing him, thinking about him. Maybe it was a little bit of both. Steve, once again, decided he didn't want to deal with any of that - this time around, though, it really wasn't in the cards.

Steve was reluctant, but there he went with Dustin and Max to follow The Freak's trail, getting pulled into helping a fugitive faster than he could say Vecna. And he continue to dislike Eddie for the way he carried himself, the way he spoke in analogies that Steve didn't follow, the way he was dramatic even under all this pressure. Steve thoroughly disliked how every single one of Eddie's traits just kept on pulling him in as if he had any right to do so. So effortlessly, too, and probably unaware of it if trying to set Steve up with Nancy was anything to go by. He thought that was what was happening, at least - Steve was only half listening when Eddie was talking to him, focused instead on the way Eddie's lips curled around his words and how pretty those chocolate brown eyes were against his dark lashes.

It only seemed to get worse, too. Steve hated the way his heart skipped a beat when Eddie called his name as Steve headed off into an uncertain fate. "Make him pay." Steve nodded, but he hated the words out of Eddie's mouth because they weren't the ones he wanted to hear.

Most of all, Steve hated Eddie for going against Steve's word. He hated Eddie for trying to be a hero. He hated Eddie for making Dustin and the others cry, for the sleepless nights Steve would spend thinking of what ifs, for the way his dislike didn't turn into anger this time - not really. They turned into this constant ache in Steve's chest that he didn't know what to do with and that sometimes translated into wanting to break things, even if it wouldn't bring Eddie back.

He hated Eddie for dying before Steve could tell him he didn't hate him at all.

#steddie #idk i'm bored at work and i've really been wanting to write things on here #so have some sort of a steve centric introspection blurb or whatever this is #steve x eddie #steve harrington x eddie munson #my fanfic

[goingsteddiewithsubmasbrainrot]

A little Steddie thing vaguely based on Kane's Rain Down on Me because of a random number game on discord

He doesn’t know how long it’s been since he started “jogging” around town. Hah. Jogging. More like he’s running. Running from his confusion. Running from his mausoleum of a house. Running from his fears and nightmares. Running from his dreams and desires. Running from his own damn hypocrisy.

He’s been running down street after street after street, each building and lamppost and sign blurring together in an unending loop of civilization. He hasn’t been able to run through the forest like he used to do ever since finding out that monsters are real, and not just the ones wearing human faces.

He knows he’s made progress. Where once he spat the same poison as his father and Tommy goddamn Hagan, where he used to target those who were different, call them fags and queers and dykes like it was a crime, regardless of whether or not they actually were, he knows he’s better than that now. Knows he accepts his best friend fully and wholeheartedly and loves her deeply regardless or in spite of or maybe because she’s a lesbian. Knows he’d willingly and unashamedly and unapologetically break his knuckles on the face of anyone that’d make a target of little Byers the way he himself once did bigger Byers.

Point is, point fucking is, he’s a goddamn hypocrite. Any time he hissed or said or spat or shouted or otherwise called people slurs for being different? He should’ve been facing a mirror and hissed or said or spat or shouted or otherwise called those slurs to his own damn face. Sure, he loved Nancy. Except in hindsight, was he really in love with Nancy? And sure, he loves sex, loved making all those girls before and after and Nancy herself feel good. But none of them, not Jessica Rogers who gave him his first kiss in eight grade, not his first blowie from Belinda Walters in junior year, not Caroline Hawke, not Suzanna Johnson, not Nancy Wheeler, not even Phoebe goddamn Cates have ever made him feel like this. Not like his palms were sweaty and itchy and dry, not like his tongue belonged to someone else, not like his heart was fluttering and pounding and moving up and down in an elevator between his throat and his gut, not like just the thought of them made him short on breath, not like just seeing them smile could make him high.

And yet. And yet, and yet, and yet. Why couldn’t he just… give in? Surrender to the itch to do anything to see that dimpled smile? Give anything and everything for those dark, expressive, gorgeous eyes to truly see him? All his life he’s rolled from one type of misery to the next, avoiding his own truth. Misery that could be so easily taken from him. All those days of misery that someone could so easily take from him. If only he just… gave it all away. So why? Why, why, why, why can’t he?

Each encounter he feels the question burn on his tongue, constrict in his throat, yet it never comes close to flying free, and it all just builds up and up and up. Each time he lays eyes on his… his crush, each time he hears that precious name, each time those beautiful curls cross his mind, each word of praise the shitheads practically sing about their other older friend. It builds and builds and builds until he wants to demand the other to tell him...

Rain starts pouring as Steve Harrington stops running in the middle of one of Hawkins many streets to rest his hands on his knees and heave for air as he finally, finally, finally admits to himself that all he wants most is for Eddie Munson to look him in the eye and tell him how he feels, what he needs.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #he's only mentioned tho #does this count as a songfic? #done for discord #King Hellfire #comphet #uhm #what all am i supposed to tag here #introspection? i think? #running #hmmm #mentiond nancy wheeler #mentioned robin buckley #mentioned tommy hagan #mentioned will and jonathan byers #mentioned others whose names i made up #should probably also tag for homophobia #or maybe internalized homophobia? #idk #crossposted on ao3 #potentally one-sided #potentially mutual #who knows? #not me #neither does steve

[bipunkharrington]

Okay so somebody I follow responded to an ask about a fic with homophobic Nancy Wheeler and it was really good and I want to find it but I only ever opened it in the mobile app so it's not in my browser history and I can't remember the name.

There's no ships in it, Nancy figures out Steve isn't straight and responds pretty badly, upsetting both him and Robin. She does start making up for it after she's calmed down.

Any help finding it again is welcome 😅

#nancy wheeler #steve harrington #robin buckley #btw i dont think nancy is homophobic it was an amazing introspective nancy fic tho seriouslt #stranger things

[elmainlcye]

natty ice the intellectual

#as a rule i do not go to press junket interviews for like.. any source of introspection/insight lol #but when it makes me laugh it makes me laugh why lie! #most she could say about j flop is that they were outsiders together in s1 then goes on to wax lyrical about steve #that's my sister #stancy