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Alex Turner at Pa'l Norte Music Fest 2019 photographed by Luis Guillermo. (Posted on 21/09/2021)
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alexturne · 20 hours ago
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alexturnerarchive · a day ago
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Alex with his usual boots owns my heart
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maybelittlelonely · a day ago
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hii i'm sort of new here n i realised if i want to find nice mutuals i should make a post about me, so here it is??
i'm lix, an 18 year old girl from belgium; i use she/her pronouns :). i'm a hopelessly romantic ace lesbian (u should be able to tell from my posts ;)) studying english & dutch literature at university. my posts will mainly be in english but also in dutch.
what i post about:
- fandoms: harry potter, good omens, bbc sherlock, killing eve, anne with an e, skam, young royals,,,
- otp: wolfstar
- music: new wave (mainly the cure & the sisters of mercy), indierock (mainly arctic monkeys), some pop and indie, david bowie!!
- literature: DA, queer lit., dystopian, 19th century classics,,,
- films: queer films, tim burton, (old) disney
(current) favourites:
- film: kill your darlings
- book: the secret history
- music artist: arctic monkeys, the cure, froukje
- series: bbc sherlock, good omens, anne with an e
i'm quite shy but i'd love to interact! <3
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one-time-i-dreamt · 2 months ago
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There was new Twitter discourse about whether or not having the names of animals in brands and band names and shit was disrespectful of animal kins. This culminated in people cancelling all brands and bands with animal names in them. There was then a huge debate about whether Imagine Dragons should be cancelled because while the monkey from Arctic Monkeys was a real animal, the dragon was technically not real (a myth).
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deadpoetsgayvodka · a month ago
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you know that feeling when you find a song that resonates with you so much that you just can't stop listening to it ?? like you're physically incapable of listening to anything that's not That song ?? you play it on repeat for days ?? yeah?? i love that feeling
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erenstellar · 7 months ago
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WHY’D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU’RE HIGH? [jean kirstein one shot]
based on this song: why’d you only call me when you’re high? by arctic monkeys
also inspiration from this tiktok
pairing: jean kirstein x f!reader
rating: mature. chapter contains smut. +18
—cw: alcohol using, mentions of drugs, friends to lovers, size kink, breeding kink, stomach bulges, soft dom! jean, sub! jean, face-slapping, praising, pet names, oral sex, fingering
words: 7.9K
summary: jean kirstein was deeply, drunkenly in love with you and finally he had the courage to say it. you found your friend at your front door three in the morning; high, needy and begging for your touch.
notes: since it’s a new blog pls reblog my work if you like! took me four days to finish, ugh. happy 300 followers!
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WHY’D YOU ONLY CALL ME WHEN YOU’RE HIGH?
‘You up?’
Jean stared at his phone for a moment, he cringed at that pathetic message he was about to send. His thumb stalled at that send button so long, finally he was noticed by Connie. “Oi, who’s the lucky girl, Jean-boy?”
“Shut up.” He murmured just after locking his phone. It was in a flash, Connie couldn’t even see the contact. “C’mon man, are you shy? Tell me—”
“Why do you need him to say it, Connie. We all know it’s Mikasa.” Eren interrupted, his voice was flat yet Jean could catch that hidden playful tone. There was a smirk on his face that Jean wanted to punch him till it would be gone. He was on the other side of the small table, his face was relaxed but his arrogant smile was still there, annoying Jean.
Jean didn’t try to answer him because he knew it could lead them into a small fight. He didn’t want it, he just wanted to send that ridiculous text. It was him again taking the responsibility, he was so tense since they came to the place. He didn’t even use or drink anything they did because he knew they were careless and dumb. But it started to bug him when the clock on the wall hit 2AM. Maybe being careless just enough to relax wouldn’t hurt anybody.
It bugged him the way Eren was so free to talk about love and the girls in their group, Connie was already drunk and laughed every damn thing he could. So Jean started to think why can’t be him talking so freely about love for just one night. Not just any type of love, he wanted to talk about the love he kept inside of him for so long. The same love everyone thought it was for Mikasa.
But there was one thing clear; Jean Kirstein was deeply, drunkenly in love with you.
Yes, he had a big crush on Mikasa once. You came into his life just when he needed. Everyone in his group was sure that Jean would love Mikasa forever and they didn’t see anything wrong about saying it. So everytime he thought things like how your hair was beautiful too or how good he felt when you hugged him, he always hid himself behind the fact he loved Mikasa.
Because loving someone who’s never going to love you back was better being in love with your closest friend, right?
You were the one he wanted to text from the beginning. Not just a stupid thing like ‘you up?’ but also ‘can i come over and cuddle you to sleep because it feels so nice to have your tiny body flush against mine?’
Those cute messages he wanted to text you turned into something naughty in his mind after his third glass. He could hear his friends were cheering him but his mind was so busy thinking about you he didn’t actually hear them. He felt different, ‘Maybe those bastards gave me something.’ he thought. Considering the fact he was nearly sure he heard something like ‘Now let’s pray for the girl he’ll find’
Was it before Jean himself asked Eren for anything it will ease him off? Yes, probably it was.
He was turning his phone between his index finger and thumb while drinking his fourth. Jean didn’t know he could get more creative when he is high. Because all the possible messages he could send to you weren’t something Jean would normally say.
Instead of offering his cuddles he started to realize he could give you more, so he could text you something like ‘did you ever fantasize how good i would fill you up? i learned from sasha that only thing enters to your tight hole is your fingers nowadays.’
He closed his eyes and groaned at the thought mentally. Jean wasn’t a pervert, at least he thought he wasn’t until now. Beside all these intense feelings he felt for you, he always respected the boundaries of the friendship. But now, in this state of mind, he started to realize you weren’t innocent at all. And just after that he also understood why he wanted to cuddle you in your sleep that much. Because you were the one grinding to his body in the middle of the night, giving him painful boners but also those soft sweet sounds escaped from your mouth. Now a hopeful feeling was rising inside of him with the thought of maybe it was his name you moaned in your sleep, he never catched it but also never heard any other name from your beautiful lips.
It was hope, a dangerous one.
The song playing in the place was putting him into an euphoric trance. With all those basses and guitar, anyone hear this song would want to fuck, like it was made for this purpose. He only heard that one specific line, he didn’t even know if it was the singer keep singing it or his mind.
Crawling back to you.
Crawling back to you.
Crawling back to you.
He laughed to himself slowly. His legs were wide apart on the high stool. One of them was higher, he rested one of his feet with hooking his boot’s heel to his stool. There wasn’t anything funny but he couldn’t erase that damn smile from his face. Maybe it was because how annoyed Eren looked, any other girls didn’t come to the table for him.
Jean’s upper teeth was on display, the way he unconsciously wandered his tongue on them was a sexy sight to look. He had this natural charm, he knew that. The thing he didn’t know was how bad it would effect you to see him like that. So bad it would make your knees shake. Well, he could change that.
He gave Connie’s shoulder a little pat before heading to the bathroom. His heavy leather boots left strong thuds behind him, those black jeans hugged his long legs perfectly. Maybe that was the reason Eren sounded offended when they entered to the place, it was because everyone’s eyes turned to Jean and not him.
Ah, Jean was such a sight. With his leather jacket, tall figure and unique hair, it was impossible to not to draw attention. He was painfully handsome and he didn't even realized nearly all the women and men eyed him since he came.
After seconds, or maybe minutes, he was looking at his messy reflection in the bathroom. ‘The mirror's image, it tells me it's home time.’ He thought. His ash-brown hair was a mess and he couldn’t focus on his face. He was drunk, drunk in love enough to see your face on the mirror while he was trying to fix his jacket. He dreamed about how you would do that for him, you would be on your tiptoes to reach his collar. How freaking cute. Or to reach his lips. Or to tug his hair that you always complimented.
He could let you without a word. You would do anything to him and he wouldn’t open his mouth.
Jean tried to think anything, any other thing than you that won’t give him a boner in this public place. His body was angry at him. All the cells in his body was screaming him to grab his phone from that table and go to your place directly. To keep texting you what he would do to you if you could let him. Calling you to hear your soft spoken voice in his ear.
No, this night he couldn’t go to home, you were his home. He just needed to reach you. “I'm not finished, 'cause you're not by my side” He was murmuring to himself while walking clumsily.
The first step he took at the corridor caused him to collided with someone. He was drunk enough to not realizing it was the woman purposely stepped into him. He spluttered, his voice was gruff. “Sorry, didn’t see you there.”
His light brown eyes found the woman’s face, but no— it was yours. And from that physical contact he could see why he loved hugging you so much. The way your boobs were pressed against his chest made him dizzy. He could remember the times you were so lazy to wear a bra so he could see your poking nipples through your t-shirt. For the second time; Jean wasn’t a pervert. But it didn’t changed the fact he always found a way to pull you to his lap to feel your nipples on his body.
‘Decided that once again I was just dreamin' of bumpin' into you’
Jean averted his eyes from woman’s t-shirt in a second. “Sorry.” He spoke again, it was more embarrassed than the first one.
It wasn't just drunk courage he felt. He could feel this weird emotion in his pants; it was pure need. He was horny and he needed his dearest friend so fucking much.
Another five minutes later he was in the cab. Space and time were blurred, already tangled. His phone was in his hand and he didn't forget to drink two tequila shots before he left— maybe he drank three, he couldn’t count.
It was decided now, he was going to talk about love and he was about to do that to your face. He was smiling to himself with half lidded eyes and he didn’t even know your phone already had four unread messages and three missed calls.
‘You up?’ 02.57AM
‘Fuck, i was trying to delete it.’ 02.57AM
One missed call. 02.59AM
‘Need to see you so bad.’ 03.02AM
‘I need your touch.’ 03.03AM
Two missed calls. 03.07AM
At those moments you were sitting in your bed in an oversize t-shirt, you were busy with staring at your phone’s bright screen and losing your fucking mind.
He was high.
You knew it so good, you knew it since Eren cheekly texted to the groupchat minutes ago. Said that we should ignore Jean if he tries to call us, especially Mikasa. It hurt you the way everyone seperated Mikasa when it comes to Jean.
It hurt you more than normal when you consider the fact he was just a close friend of yours. He was a damn gorgeous, sexy, intoxicating man that’s all.
You were damned.
You were damned because it was so obvious that you were deeply, drunkenly in love with him. Yet only Sasha noticed that and she wasn’t sorry for you at all. All she did was smiling and giggling like a mad woman and you never understood why.
Now you were angry at him when you had zero rights to do that to the poor lovesick man. It was so clear that he accidentally texted you instead of Mikasa. It hurt you even more. Because only for a moment you thought it could be you he desired, the one he begged for your touch. You didn’t think twice while your thumbs were wandering on your keyboard quickly.
‘You texted the wrong contact, Jean.’ 03.11AM
‘I am not Mikasa’ 03.11AM
‘Sadly.’ 03.12AM
You quickly tried to delete the last one but it was too late. Your bottom lip was between your teeth when you typed the last message, after that you locked your phone and threw it to the nightstand with a rage.
‘Seriously Jean, it's three in the morning. Next time check the number before getting drunk and texting her. You never call me this late. Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?’ 03.14AM
There was no response from him for the next five minutes so you thought maybe he reached to the Armin and Mikasa’s shared apartment. That thought was heart-wrenching to think but at least you knew he’d be safe there. Armin could take care of him since this Jean was rare and new to everyone.
But not to you.
You were the one he always came. Yes, mostly it wasn’t that drunk Jean you saw. He was at your door with a well picked movie and a bag of snacks, to cuddle you in your couch. Or he was the one rushed to your house when you said you have nothing to eat, he always placed you to the same place on the counter and talked to you while cooking sweet meals. He was such a sweetheart, such a passionate man and you were so angry at Mikasa being so blind about it.
Oh, you wish you could know how blind you were.
At least you had rights to assume it was Mikasa he cried for. It was the first time you saw Jean crying, you remembered that night so well. It was two in the morning when there was a knock on your door. When you opened the door for him first thing he aggressively said was ‘Where is he?’
It was those painful times you were trying to get over the feelings you started to feel towards Jean, so you had a date that night. But of course it didn't go well, you only saw his face instead of your date’s all the time.
So you were already sad when Jean showed up like this. Totally wasted and crying about how he can’t stand to seeing her with another man. Once again, you had all the rights to think it was Mikasa he talked about since he never used any name. He always shushed you when you didn’t even open your mouth. You were glad his eyes were teary so he didn’t see you were also crying silently.
He kept placing his index finger on your lips and said ‘You can’t tell her any of this, she’ll hate me.’ But you remembered how these small warnings he gave soon turned to compliments like ‘Your lips feel so soft, you just look like her. Can i touch it again?’
This Jean was far from new to you because you were the one he came to your house with an empty bottle of wine and he fell asleep on your lap. Or while his face was buried in your neck, you heard all of his slow whispers. ‘You smell just like her.’
You were in so much pain you didn’t even realize your perfume was nothing similar with Mikasa’s. And Jean was so dumb to forget the person he was talking to.
Now he was coming to your house without knowing the fact he already confessed his love to you. Over and over again. On his knees, in front of you or while he was crying on your chest. He just kept forgetting it and trapped both of you in this brutal loop.
He needed to save you. He needed to save you and he knew he could give his everything to you for that purpose. His mind, his soul, his body were belong to you already; he just needed you to claim it.
Ah, he wanted to claim yours. Because maybe he didn’t remember how he cried about your dates with other men but he remembered you were still seeing people. He wanted you to see him only, it would free him finally.
When he knocked your door, it was three in the morning and he was about to change your mind. He left you multiple missed calls and to his message, you replied, ‘Why'd you only call me when you're high?’
You were looking at his last messages while walking to your door, your steps were slow enough to buy some time, you were preparing yourself for anything. You didn’t know why but this time felt different even you lived this scenario with him dozens of times. You didn’t realized that oversize t-shirt you were wearing was one of the Jean’s.
His look always took your breath away, you could admit it. He had an unique aura embraced you and filled your mind everytime you saw him. At these hours you always found him at your door with a pained expression on his face; teary eyes or trembling pink lips. This time was different.
First thing you could process was the fact he was so big and so tall compared to you. He stood with his all glory on your door step, one of his hands were on the door frame. His tight grip on there was strong like you could escape, he was trapping you with him for the last time, one last loop he’ll confess his love to you.
There was a nearly empty bottle on his other hand. It turned into completely empty one seconds after you looked at it. He slowly lifted the bottle to his parted lips. You could swear you saw a smirk there. His tongue darted out slightly to give you a show, you watched his column of neck and his bobbing adam’s apple.
Your knees were pressed up together now; you didn’t know if it was because of the cold hitting your bare legs or his little show.
This Jean looked messy, naughty and completely lost. It was his intention. Finally he was realizing he needed to be lost first to find himself in you.
Oh, he wanted to be inside of you.
He recognized his t-shirt on you very quick. It seemed that alcohol didn’t make him dumb but heightened all of his emotions. Soon his light brown eyes found your legs. “Mmh, are you cold?” He asked, tongue rolled in his mouth lazily. And fuck, his voice was deep like this.
Your response was quick. “Jean, i can’t do it this night, okay? I’ll just give you a ride—”
“Yes. Yes, please give me a ride.” He stepped into your apartment. He walked to you with such confidence, he never flinched so you couldn’t help but stepped backwards. He was intimidating. “Th- Then wait outside.”
“Let me stay.” Jean said. His empty hand closed the door without even looking, his eyes were fixed on you. “—You can’t do what?”
You took a deep breath before you spoke, your voice was weak just like your legs, he was so close now. You could smell the mix of old leather and his familiar cologne. “I can’t listen your whines.”
“Oh, do i whine?” He gave you a small laugh, you were in a trance by his look so you didn’t realize he got so much closer to you. His both hands were empty now, one of them cut your way to the inside. “Then show me how should i talk, sweetheart. You are not much a good example now, eh?”
“Do you think it’s funny? St— stop coming on to me!”
“That’s more I like it.” It was the first time he saw you this angry. Your voice were higher now, you nearly screamed to his face.
He was close, dangerously close. “See, you can scream. Do you want me to talk to you in that tone?”
“You are clearly drunk, Jean.” You started. You were hesitant at first but this Jean gave you a courage, it was the first time you saw him this relax, this flirtatious to you. The tone he used was intoxicating, you could close your eyes and feel like he was whispering those words to you while fucking you.
So with the support of that little bit of courage inside you, your hand gripped his chin, fingers were digging into his jaw. You looked directly into his eyes, to find any red tint on them. “At least you are only drunk.” You hissed.
You released your tight grip on his chin but as soon as you did he held your wrist tightly. “No, no no no—” He placed your hand on his face again, his big hand stayed in place only for a moment, he made you caress his cheek. Next time he talked, his voice was honeyed. You could smell the alcohol from his breath. “Show me your claws, kitten. It’s okay— What does make you this angry?”
‘Fuck your pet names.’ You thought. ‘And fuck your so kissable lips, fuck the confession i am about to make.’
“I am so sick of listening you how deep is your love for Mikasa or how you hate so much when she goes to date with other guys. I mean she doesn’t even go to dates, are you delusional—” You shut your mouth suddenly. There was something wrong. There was something you didn’t even notice until now and you felt so dumb about it. Mikasa Ackerman never went to date with any guys. So why Jean cried so much about it?
Jean carried an expression of disbelief on his face. Why you looked like you were in pain when you said her name? Alcohol on his body betrayed him again, he chuckled deeply. The way his best friend were looking at his lips with such a hunger made him feel that familiar feeling again. A menacing hope. “My love isn’t for Mikasa. Maybe I should tell you— It sort of feels like I'm runnin' out of time.”
You tried to be nicer towards him, he was still the person you were in love with after all. Your thumb caressed his cheekbone and he leaned into your touch, his eyes closed without his permission. “You don’t know what you are talking about. Please stop this— You're startin' to bore me, Jean.”
Was he boring you really? Jean frowned like a child to the thought. He pulled his face back slightly, just enough to break the contact. Because if you keep massaging his scalp he could get much closer to you. It was so easy to him to make you stuck between his towering body and the wall. Just one small step and he could make you feel all of him. “It's harder and harder to get you to listen more I get through the gears.” He spoke. “You act so dumb to don't get it. We both are so fucking dumb—”
You slapped across his cheek. Hard. At that point you were so angry at him. How could he come to your house drunk just to call you dumb and still look so damn good while doing it.
Jean’s head tilted to the left slightly, his soft hair fell out on his face and he did something made you gasp, made you aroused at that second. He purred to your touch. Deeply, almost like a moan.
He wasted no time to turn his face back again, there was no visible anger on his face. Instead of anger, his look was eager. But you would prefer his anger instead of this dark expression he had because this Jean was making your knees shake. The tip of his tongue licked the edge of his glossy lips, his eyes never left your parted lips while he was doing it.
Now you could clearly see why this was different from the other times. It looked like he already made his decisions before coming to your place, about who was the person he wanted all along. You shivered, your voice was weak again because of the burden of all those wrong thoughts. You didn’t want him to ruin this friendship while his only intention was ruining it. He wanted to ruin you so he could build you up again with his endless love.
His handsome face was inches away from yours. Because of the height difference his head was slanted already. With the back of his fingers he grazed your neck so slow, then found its place on your chin. Your heart was about to stop when he tilted your head upwards, using only a little pressure. Your mind was fixed on one particular thing; how the things he cried for never matched with Mikasa when you think about them again. You were so sad, so blind to see everytime. “You are incapable of makin’ alright decisions r- right now—”
“And I have bad ideas.”
His soft lips met with yours for the first time. You both sighed in such longing, it was a relief for both of you. His kiss was so gentle. It was ‘till one of your hands reached to his hair, to tug them just like he imagined for the countless times.
A groan escaped from his lips, this way you found a chance to ask. Anything, anything will get you out of this mind-bending trance. “Je— Jean I—”
Your open mouth gave him the best access, his tongue found his way easily. You didn’t know how he could be that good in french kiss and you didn’t want to learn it either. He whispered to your lips between his hot breaths, desperately.
“—Hush, my love. Let me taste you. I’ve waited so long for this.”
You didn’t let him to kiss you this time. Your face was all flushed, you were looking like drunker than Jean and he loved it. It was like his lips were your drug. “—for what?”
Jean knew it was the perfect chance. His voice was full of excitement when he talked. “Let me show you.” He said. “Let me show how much i need you.”
You looked into his light brown eyes, they were darkened by lust but you could see it was still your Jean. Fuck, all this time it was your Jean, not Mikasa’s or any other woman’s.
When he saw your shy little nod he smiled dearly. “That’s my girl.” He said just before one of his hands found your thigh. Jean kissed you again; his kisses were rougher. In contrast, his movements on your bare thigh felt like a feather. His touches were careful to not to make you panic, just like you were his scared little pet.
He lifted your leg slightly, murmured between his open mouthed kisses. “Hop.”
You did like he gently ordered, jumped with your only leg. You couldn’t help but a small noice came out of your mouth. He chuckled before giving you another deep kiss. “—Ssh, i got you.” He spoke in your mouth. “I’ll always catch you.”
You circled your legs around his waist without losing time, one of his hands gave you a squeeze to your thigh in response. It was like his silent reward to you, you heard his voice in your mind again. You would do anything to hear him say that to you one more time. That’s my girl.
You unconsciously shifted on his lap and that was when you felt his growing erection on your most sensitive part. You both moaned into your mouths because of the friction. The way Jean felt so free to moan, to show how bad you were affecting him made you dizzy. Once you felt his hard dick between your legs, you despairingly tried to pull yourself upwards. Your shaking hands on his broad shoulders were about to pull your weight up.
But then he stopped you. One of his hands grasped your ass and he pressed you to himself, to the where he needed you most. “Don’t escape this time.” He pleaded. But when he rubbed your clothed heat against his length again, his tone was nothing but gentle; he was playing with your mind. “Do not. Escape.”
You have no other choice but obey him while he was talking to you like that. Instead of responding, you grinded against him and when an animalistic growl came from the back of his throat, you both lost it.
Next minutes of your make out was the most passionate minutes of your life, maybe. When you both finally reached to your bed, there were fresh bite marks on your neck, Jean’s hair was an absolute mess and his jacket was nowhere to be found. Oh, also there was broken frame on your corridor’s wall.
Despite his rough movements he placed you in your soft bed like you were his queen, his princess. “Accept me.” He said. His both knees were on the bed now, you have no idea where did his boots gone. It was like you drank this handsome man between your legs, and now you were the drunk of him.
You nodded again, this time it wasn’t enough for him. “I want to hear it from your sweet mouth. What do you want from me, angel?”
“I want you to touch me.” You parted your legs wider for him.
He took off his shirt while he was sure your eyes never left his body. Yes, you saw him shirtless before, countless times. But it was nothing similar with him undressing for you. His movements were so smooth, even graceful. He put on a show for you. His firm muscles flexed in such a perfect harmony. And you could see his defined v-line from there. It was such a mouthwatering sight. “Please, touch me—” You begged, hands tried to reach up to him.
You were still shy about telling him where you want him, Jean was the drunk and brave one. But he was dying to see how much he could push you, he wanted to see your limits and stretch them really good.
One of his hands found your ankle and lifted your leg slightly. He kissed your ankle first, then he gave an open mouthed kiss to your calf. At that moment you were under the spell of him. He kissed the side of your knee just before inching up to your thigh. While you were waiting for him to kiss the soft flesh of your inner thigh he did something different, he bit your flesh. “—Ah!” You exclaimed not because of the pain but surprise.
He shushed you, gave a lick to your skin just after sucking it. “Want to leave my marks all over your body.” Jean made an eye contact with you for the first time while he was between your legs, he continued murmuring. His hot breaths were inches away from your clothed pussy. “I want them to see who i really want.”
He hooked his thumbs to your panties and smiled at you, it was a smile he wouldn’t give you normally. Yes, it was sweet but also it was so damn naughty.
You nodded silently, he didn’t need anything more. Yet. He removed your underwear and you saw how drunk Jean was smirking at you shamessly while stuffing your panties in the back pocket of his black jeans.
You couldn’t help but closing your legs again, he tutted while you were halfway down. “Nah-ah-ah.” He started. “Open ‘em wide, sweetheart. Like you did before.”
You obeyed, this sweet voice of him could make you do anything. “Ah, that’s my good girl.” He praised.
And since he knew you hate waiting from the times he spent with you as your best friend, he bended over at the edge of the bed. “I’ll have to stop if i don’t hear your pretty sounds, baby. Don’t hold ‘em back.”
His hands grasped your legs with a firm grip, his all attention was on your pussy now. He looked at you under his thick lashes. “You look so pretty when you blush,” He started, his hot breath hitting your wetness made you stir in your place. “So fucking pretty.”
Jean flatted his tongue on your slit and gave you an experimental long licks. Once again, he wasn’t shy to groan loudly. He needed you to hear how much he liked your taste. “—mhm”
Even you didn't talk, your body responses were driving him crazy. He just wanted to push you more, he needed to hear something or feel your touch to keep himself in reality. He felt heavenly between your legs, you affected him much more badly than alcohol.
He gathered your slick with his tongue then drew circles on your clit, you started to give him louder moans. Finally. “A- ah! Jean, yes— just like that."
Since you were being a such obendient girl for him and you never tried to close your legs, he removed one of his hands from your thigh. He started to toy with your clit till you were a shaking mess under him.
Your fist were clenching on your white sheets so tightly, he could see you were still holding yourself back. Ah, you were embarrassed because you liked it so much.
So he could play with you a little more to see how much your cheeks would get blushed. His vibrating tongue slowly stopped, instead of those licks that made you crazy he was giving kitty licks to your slit now. Just before you were about to reach your orgasm. "J-jean no—" You whined. "—want it back."
He was busy with giving you another bite mark to your thigh. He always loved holding them, those small touches when he lifted you up to the counter or when he carried you to this same exact bed after you fall asleep on his lap. But this was so different; feeling their softness against the sides of his head, leaving his signature on them. He released your flesh with a wet pop sound. His lips were glistening under the dim light of your room. He placed an innocent expression on his face just for a moment, this image burned into your memory instantly. "Want what?"
Your frustrated groan amused him. "This." You murmured, just before grabbing a hold of his soft hair and pressing his mouth to your cunt. He hummed in response, showing you that he absolutely loved your attitude and you won't get punished because of this.
It was this easy to encourage you. So you hissed between your teeth again, his tongue work already made you light-headed. "Do not— escape."
When he heard your harsh words, just like he said to you minutes ago, it went straight to his dick. He might seem loving dominate you, and it was true. But you controlling him like that was about to make him lose his mind. He already lost most of his logic to the alcohol, you were going to be the end of him.
It wasn't like he licking you anymore, now you were riding his face. He made it easy for you and guided your hips, the tip of his tongue teased your hole with your every grind. He was humming in ecstasy, that specific vibrating made you reach your high.
At that moment Jean felt blissful and pathetic at the same time. Maybe you couldn't see but you could feel his body movement, how he was trying to fuck the edge of the bed, to get any friction. He kept thrusting into your bed sheets, his cock was already aching for you.
Listening your sweet moans while you were coming nearly made him come with you. But oh- no, this night there was no other place to cum instead your insides. The thought of your walls clenching around nothing made his cock twitched. He couldn't wait anymore.
Jean didn't remove his head even after you started to came. He kept caressing your lower tummy, your thighs. One of your legs were on his broad shoulder, your heel were digging up his back but he didn't care. He felt celestial, you both did. He slowly pulled his head back before making sure the tip of his tongue eased your clit, after your first orgasm.
Because his main intention was giving you multiple orgasms despite his pulsing cock. It was like if he could make you feel good enough, you could accept him. The thing he didn't know was the fact you accept him nights, days, months before.
His stubble was coated with your juices. When he inched away from your pussy to look at your face, you could see mix of you and his saliva was dripping down from his chin. It was such a sinful sight, with that look on his face. This night was like the embodiment of your deepest desires.
"You did so good, angel—" It was the first thing he said between his breaths. "now i need to ask you if— if you wanna continue."
You wanted to cry.
You were still having a hard time to process this was real, your dearest friend between your legs and the incredible orgasm he just gave you only with his tongue was real. But he was so perfect he made it harder to you. Jean was the drunk one and you damn good knew he was painfully hard in his pants yet he was still asking you. Gently, with those blurry pleading eyes.
"Yes— yes i want Jean."
"Yeah?" He placed your leg to the bed with a soft move, then kissed your knee tenderly before standing up. "—and what exactly you want me to do, love?"
This time you knew you couldn't escape with hinting it. "Please fuck me," You whined. "I want your dick in me—"
"Ah, you are so good at begging. So pretty good-" He praised you again, gave you a little smirk when his hands reached to his belt. The sound his belt catched your attention quick, your eyes darted to his lower parts and when you saw his boner you gasped audibly.
He chuckled to your surprise, "You are an adorable creature—" He murmured, there was this drunk little smile on his face. But it got serious when he finally got rid of his pants and you had a nice view of his hard cock. You slid to the behind on the bed, "O-oh my god."
Your eyes never left his flushed dick, you managed to speak when his knees were on the bed. He was slowly approaching you when you pressed your knees together.
Yes, there was this rumor in your friend group about 'how Jean didn't only own a horse face' but you always thought it was one of Eren's jokes about Jean. No, it wasn't. You knew one time Ymir accidentally saw Jean naked and all the thing she texted to the girl group was ‘wow.’ while she was a lesbian. Now you could understand.
“It wo- won't fit." You said, your face felt like it was burning.
“I’ll make it fit.” His words were assuring, even he find your fear so fucking hot, his eyes remained soft. To make you feel okay, make you feel safe.
Jean helped you to took off his t-shirt from your body. “Just like that— look how pretty you are.” He laid next to you gingerly, one of his elbows rested near to your head.
His hand came into your view, “Trust me, sweatheart. Open your mouth.”
When you heard his hypnotic voice you didn’t think twice to obey him. You parted your lips and let him slide his middle and ring finger into your mouth. With that view you earned an another groan from Jean, he was so drunk of you to care about the sound he made. “Mmhh— yes, love— suck ‘em.”
He didn’t think he could enjoy it more, it was until you held his big hand with both of your small ones and made eye contact with him. You hollowed your cheeks and it unconsciously made him push his fingers more to make you gag. An amazed expression was on his face, he nearly forgot it was his hand inside your mouth- not his dick. The tip of his long fingers hit the back of your throat before he pulled them out.
His fingers found your entrance without losing time, “Let’s make you stretch, baby— let’s make you stretch for my cock, yeah-”
He pushed his two fingers into you and you weren’t the only one moaning again. The way he enjoyed everything as much as you did filled you with an unique feeling. You wanted to gave him everything you could, to make him happy and satisfied.
Jean’s intention wasn’t make you cum again. But when he saw how you started to clench around his fingers and gave him those beautiful moans he was already ready to fuck you with his fingers. “—how eager you are,” His skilled digits curled in your cunt. “See, can you feel how good you stretch for me— answer me.”
“Y- yes,” You whimpered. “I feel so good- please keep doing it.”
He leaned to kiss your open mouth and stole a deep kiss from your parted lips. “Doing what, sweet girl?”
“Fucking me with your fingers,” You felt him smiling into your mouth when he kissed you again. He was such a tease.
“Anything for my princess.” He murmured into your ear. He knew so good that he was edging himself after that moment, his dick was poking to your hips while he was watching your face with half-lidded eyes. You felt him unconsciously thrusting himself into your skin, his eyes never left your face when you came on his fingers.
Your unfocused eyes found his face again, there was pure adoration on there. “I am ready, Jean— just please fuck me.”
One of your hands found his hair and you pulled his head to you. You shared a tender kiss before he placed himself between your legs again. This time there was no barrier, his face was still close to yours. To hear every little sound you make when he pushed himself inside of you for the first time.
He gathered your juices with the tip of his cock, he made sure he coated himself before pushing the flushed head in. He heard your small voice and it encouraged him to thrust into you. You whimpered.
“Ssh— I know, baby- i know,” You looked at him with teary eyes, two drops rolled down to your cheeks when you blinked them. Jean kissed both of your tears, he waited for you to adjust his size before pushing the rest.
Your mouths gaped open, you both felt how your walls were stretching around his cock. “—see” He said between his panting, “I said i’ll make it fit.”
You could see how his expression turned into something dark when he saw your teary eyes, trying to take him completely. You didn’t be scared of it since you knew you had the same exact feeling boiling inside of you.
“—‘s so big,” You whispered to his lips, your voice was broken. Oh, you were about to cry for his cock. You felt him twitching. His big hand snaked around the back of your neck. “but look how good you take it, baby-” He nearly pulled his dick out before pushing it all the way in again, his hand on your neck made you watch where your bodies joined. “—look how good you take all of my big cock.”
You could only make noises because of the angle of your head. “Hm-mh,”
When he thrusted his dick in again he saw the little bulge on your lower stomach. “—ah,” He made a surprised sound and he instantly tried to do it again to see if it was his imagination.
Because all of this heavenly night could be an imagination.
But you both see the bulge again, a bit of skin stretching to show where the tip of his cock hit you. “—you are amazing,” He said, his tone was excited. “Put one of your hands there, baby —want you to feel me,”
You placed your hand like he demanded and he didn’t wait a second to give an another deep thrust. You slightly bounced upwards, his light brown eyes tended on your breasts. He used extra strength to see how your small body shook uncontrollably everytime his hips met with yours.
You were so small compared to his tall body even he thought he couldn’t fit you for a moment. But you were like molded for him, your stretched walls were milking his cock while he was pounding inside. “—you feel so good around my cock, yeah-”
He angled your legs again and hooked them to his arms, when he leaned on you again, this new angle made your eyes roll back. “oh— my—” You managed to say between his thrusts.
There were tears again in your eyes, not only your walls but your whole body were stretching under him. It burned and it felt so damn good. “—am i -hurting you, baby?” He spoke lowly, your hand already lost contact with the bulge on your stomach, both of your hands were clawing at his back, his neck; anything you could hold. “—i know it hurts- hurt me back, just like that— it’s okay.”
You blinked a few times to his word. Hurt me back, he said. You remembered how he reacted when you slapped him. Oh, you could give the thing he wanted.
One of your hands grabbed a handful of his hair again, you made him threw his head back. Your lips wandered on his jaw. “—so full,” You said between your shallow breaths. Since he praised you like you were his princess, you could also reward him. “—you fuck me so good, Jean- i always knew you would—”
His thrusts stopped only for a moment, once he started to give them again, you could feel they were deeper. “-a -always?” He asked with a shaky voice. From his sloppier movements you could feel he was close. His big cock was pulsating inside you, not only you but you both felt so full.
“Always.” You said, his forehead met with yours. He punctated his words with hitting your sweet spot after every one of them. “I love you so fucking much.”
His voice was broken like the times he cried for you on this bed. “—love you too,” You pulled his face to your neck and caressed his hair.
That night Jean’s whines filled the room again, there was no exception. But it wasn’t when he was crying on your lap about a guy you dated, he was sobbing when he was about to come while fucking you so good.
“Cum inside me,” You cooed. “—such a good boy —fucked me so good,” Your sweet whispers to his ear made him finish.
For everytime he couldn’t say that to you in this bed, he kept whispering to your skin same sentence. It was so much easier now, he felt light like a feather. “I love you— i love you so much it hurts- so- so much, baby,”
“I know.” You kissed his cheek, the light brown strands were clung onto his forehead. “I know.”
It was the last thing he remembered.
He felt so safe between your arms, naked and bodies tangled; while he knew his hot cum were dripping out of your stretched hole in that moment. He fell asleep there, the moments of the night kept playing in his mind until he drifted off.
Jean saw himself wandering around streets in his dream that night. In his right hand there was the same exact bottle he came to your house with. The same leather jacket were on him, now it supposed to be somewhere on your corridor. It was himself knocking the wrong door; maybe it was Mikasa’s or maybe a stranger’s.
In his dream he never took the cab, he trusted to his memory and got lost in the streets. There was his phone he held tightly, you were keep messaging him the same thing constantly.
"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"
"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"
"Why'd you only ever phone me when you're high?"
He wanted it to stop because now a familiar feeling started to rise inside of him, probably there was a frown on his handsome sleeping face. In that dream he felt the same exact thing he did everytime he sat on the same bed and didn’t tell you were the one he loves. He felt worse because dream was so real to him.
Jean remembered a moment, one of these nights he came to you high and sad, you told him a thing you read on the internet that day. Just to calm him even you knew he would forget it in the morning. But in his dream he didn’t.
You were talking about a chinese man which fell asleep one day and dreamed that he was a butterfly. When he woke up, he did not know whether he really was a man who had dreamed he was a butterfly or whether he was a butterfly now dreaming he was a man.
Jean’s heart ached.
Because if he wakes up in the streets, maybe in the cab he took and slept in it before reaching to your adress or on the uncomfortable couch of Mikasa’s; he wouldn’t ever know if he was that poor man got lost in the streets dreamed himself sleeping naked in your bed or whether he was the man reached to your home completely lost and found himself in you dreamed what could happen if he didn’t send that damn text.
if you are into philosophy and want to learn more about Zhuangzi And That Bloody Butterfly
special thanks to @/itsu_izzu (twitter/tiktok) for the inspiration! her jean is so perfect.
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