#THESE THREE THINGS SUCKED PIECES OF MY SOUL YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thefallennightmare · 5 months

Text

Just Pretend-ten

*gif created by me. feel free to use, simply give credit*

Parings: Noah Sebastian x Musician! Reader

Warnings/Tropes: language, angst, fluff, smut, star-crossed lovers, right person/wrong time, cheating, talks of mental abuse.

Summary: “I can wait for years, heaven knows I’m not getting over you.” A story about two star-crossed lovers, that always find their way back because their souls are entwined. The universe desperately attempts to bring them together, no matter what the cost.

Authors Note: I don't think you guys understand how broken this gif made us. Fuck, creating it killed me! Also, during the hotel scene, listen to snuff by slipknot. It's on the playlist! Some eggs from other songs on the playlist throughout the chapter as well! Enjoy my loves!

Collaborating With: @thescarlettvvitch(better give her all the love as well)

Tags: @thescarlettvvitch @ozwriterchick @waake-meee-up @notingridslurkaccount @niicoleleigh @sammyjoeee @xxrainstorm @dominuslunae @notmaddihealy @malice-ov-mercy @crimson-calligraphyx @iknownothingpeople @writethrough @thebadchic @blackveilomens Claudia on Tumblr @tobe-written @blacksoul-27 @loeytuan98 @loverofagoodbeard @comfortcharactercraze @lma1986 @plutonikchaos1 @spicywhenspeaking @lyschko666 @somewhere-diamond @hi-fancy-seeing-you-here

NICK R.

My heart raced as Jolly and I met each other in the dimly lit hotel hallway, sleep still heavy in our eyes and bones. When he called me a few minutes ago, I rushed out of bed where I was crashing in Matt’s room and knew that it could have been about one thing.

Noah.

“What happened?” I asked.

Jolly ran a hand over his exhausted face. “I don’t know. I haven’t walked inside yet and I’m afraid of what I’m going to see.”

“Y/N. He kicked me out earlier tonight because she was coming by,” I said, remembering suddenly.

“Shit,” Jolly cursed before nodding behind me towards Folio. “No matter what we walk into, we don’t judge him. Whatever happened fucked him up enough that he needs to write a song at three in the morning.”

Folio agreed. “How bad is he?”

I shrugged. “I guess we’ll see.”

Jolly turned towards the door and knocked gently.

“Yeah.”

The voice that called back was not Noah; this voice sounded broken, and distant, with the single word that was uttered.

“It’s me,” Jolly spoke through the door.

Realizing that Noah was most likely not in a state to answer the door, I handed Jolly my room key and we all sucked in a breath when the light on the lock turned green; us walking into the room one at a time. There was music playing, soft beats echoing off the wall, and I hoped no one would complain to the front desk about the noise.

My bed was still as I left it but Noah’s bed was disheveled with a pair of underwear that clearly weren’t his and a small piece of what I expected was a condom wrapper. Noah’s original clothes from earlier that evening were on the floor at the edge of the bed.

Shit.

Noah was on the floor leaning against the wall with a bottle of Hennessy in hand, more than half gone, and his hair was in a disarray of braids.

“Noah,” Jolly said quietly while bending down in front of him.

He waved a hand in front of his face as his head bobbed slowly. “I’m good, man. I just wanted to get this beat down. It’s in my head.”

“She wouldn’t stay, would she?” I questioned while motioning towards the bed.

“Didn’t need to. Jus’ friends. ‘S’all it’s come to. She didn’t need to and I don’t really fucking care. I don’t. No sweat off ma back,” he finished the rest of the bottle before letting it slip from his fingers. “I’m fine. F.I.N.E.”

The three of us shared a painful wince as he spelled out the word two more times.

As if whoever was watching over us from above, just then that specific song by Too Close To Touch came blasting through the small portable speaker Noah always brought with.

“See?” Noah pointed to the air around him. “Even fucking Keaton is telling you guys I’m fine.”

But then, he slammed his head against the wall behind him as his bottom lip trembled, his chest caving in at hearing his best friend's voice play throughout the room. Noah was only rubbing more salt in his wounds and fuck, they burned.

“Why the fuck aren’t you here, man?” he choked out. “You knew her better than us. What did I do? Why’d she leave?”

Keaton’s name felt like ice in our hearts and I knew it was a stabbing pain through Noah’s chest.

“Whatever,” Noah grumbled, wiping angrily at his face. “Her decision; bad decision. Fuck her. I need to write.”

“Noah, come on, don’t say shit you’re gonna regret,” Folio spoke. “You can’t write when you’re drunk. You know that.”

“M’not. She jus’ my good friend. I fucking knew I wasn’t enough for her.”

He was far gone, not even realizing that Folio and I stood behind Jolly, our own somber expressions weighing heavily on our faces.

Finally, his eyes opened and when he saw all three of us, Noah groaned.

“Oh, great ya called them?” He pointed towards us. “I don wanna hear I told you so, erm stubborn. Yadayadsa.”

His words slurred together, stumbling over his tongue.

Folio peered around the room, counting the empty bottles. “I’m counting two.”

“Yeah,” I nodded. “Apparently he’s been sitting here awhile.”

“You know I can’t stay; you deserve better than me,” Noah chuckled, imitating Y/N’s voice.

Jolly peered over his shoulder at us and his lips were pulled in a tight line, all of us thinking the same thing.

“Noah” I sighed with my hands on my hips.

His head snapped up, eyes red with tears so close to falling but they wouldn’t. Noah was always in control of his emotions; he refused to cry in front of us.

“She told me what I felt, she told me what I wanted and what I didn’t. Didn’t give me a fucking say about anything before she walked the fuck out. Left. Gone,” he rambled on.

“She’s going through-,” Folio started.

“Fuck that,” Noah seethed with clenched fists in his lap. “I don’-don’t care right now, in this moment. She fucking stole my heart and took it with ‘er. Jus’ friends.”

The last two words sounded bitter on his tongue, like acid.

While we let him wallow in the pain, I motioned for Jolly and Folio to walk to the other side of the room, out of earshot from Noah.

“Should we ask Malcom or Chase what the fuck happened?” Jolly asked.

“Do you think she told them?” Folio wondered.

I shrugged while crossing my arms over my chest. “I don’t doubt that. She likes him, we know she does. It’s clear.”

“Then why did she leave?” Jolly questioned, his own pain for Noah making his jaw clench. “What the fuck happened to make her leave?”

I gazed over to Noah, my heart falling into my stomach at the broken sight of my brother. “He jumped. He jumped but Y/N wasn’t there yet.”

The three of us made a quick plan of action before Jolly and Folio went to help Noah up off the floor, his limp body dragging on the floor.

“Noah let’s get into bed,” Folio suggested.

“No. I need to finish this beat, and these fuckin’ lyrics in my head,” he pushed himself away from them, standing on two shaky feet but standing. He smacked his forehead over and over.

Jolly nodded. “We will, but first you need to get some sleep.”

He glared at the bed in front of him, a mess of the decision they made together.

“…the pillow.. she was on that one,” Noah pointed. “It smells like that fucking perfume, I don-wanna inhale that shit right now.”

There was so much venom in his voice when he spoke about Y/N and there was a part of me that hoped this wouldn’t last long. He had every right to be upset with her; he gave her his heart, and she walked away.

“Alright, then let’s get you some sleep in mine,” I said.

He licked his lips, an unreadable look flashing in bloodshot eyes. “I still fucking taste her. It’s a poison that I should have fucking avoided.”

“Can’t help you with that, brother,” Folio tried to joke.

No one laughed

“No. I need to finish this-,” Noah stumbled over to his suitcase to snatch a piece of paper and pen, something he always kept on him.

I stepped in front of him to hold him steady, his heart beating rapidly in his chest. It was as if it was trying to break free to chase after Y/N; just for her to stomp on it again.

No, I shook my head, you can’t let your own anger deter you from trying to fix Noah. You can be angry about the situation but not her. It’s no one's fault.

“You don’t like to write when you’re not home,” I tried to take the pen and paper away from him.

“I don’ care nicKLas.” He pushed past me to fall onto his bed, ass first on the pillow. “I have to, right now.”

Sensing the sudden thick tension, not knowing what the next thing would be that would set him off, Jolly gave a slow nod toward Noah.

“Alright. Let it go, man. Let us hear it.”

Even though they weren’t written down, Noah still burned his gaze into the empty page in front of him. Through the slurred words, the ache that poured out of him brought chills to my bones.

“How quick it gets lonely here at the top. Her skin feels unholy but I’m still drawn. The morals I’m holding, you know they’re gone.”

Fuck, that was good.

Noah’s eyes snapped over to us. “Why aren’t you helping me get down this beat?”

I held my arms out to the empty room. “We don’t have our stuff here Noah, this isn’t usually how we do this.”

“Fuck,” he ran a shaky hand over his chin. “Ok well then here! Voice clip it.”

While he tossed his phone to Jolly, who barely caught it in time, I gave Folio a look of luck before slipping out of the room, almost running into Matt who stood at the open doorway.

“Who the fuck is blasting Snuff by Slipknot at four in the morning?” He asked with fury.

No doubt someone called the front desk and complained who in turn complained to Matt.

“Woah, what the fuck is going on right now?” Matt took a tentative step into the room, eyeing the situation.

“Didn’t you hear, fucker?” Noah whipped his head towards us so fast, that the braids smacked around his face. “She ran away, she’s the fuckin same.”

He hiccuped a sob. “Angels lie to keep control.”

“Fuck's sake,” Jolly pinched his nose with a sigh.

I gave Matt’s shoulder a squeeze. “Just keep an eye on Noah, he’s not in a good place right now.”

“Fuck, don’t tell me-,” he stuffed his hands into the pocket of his sweater.

“Just- let me handle it man,” I slipped past him out of the room and quick steps took me to the elevator.

I bounced on the soles of my feet as I repeatedly pushed the down floor button and cursed when the doors finally opened. Blackness took over as I let the images of Noah sitting there broken carry me to the room, hand pounding on the door.

Time be damned. I couldn't care less if she was asleep right now. How could she be asleep while my best friend, my brother, was fucking dying on the inside?

Not again. I refused to let him sink for another.

“Nick?” Chase squinted with the sudden light blasting in from the hallway. “Everything alright?”

“Where is she?”

He continued to stare at me with narrowed eyes. “Who? Y/N?”

“Yes,” I nodded. “Is she here?”

I tried to peer past him but only saw someone with auburn curls walk behind Chase, leaving a gentle hand on his back. “What’s going on?”

“Nick’s looking for Y/N,” Chase informed Malcolm.

He stared at me confused. “Last I heard she was going to hang out with Noah. Did something happen?”

“What the fuck do you think?” I snapped but then let out a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I’m not trying to be an asshole but she left. Noah’s a fucking wreck. It seemed like they had a great time- so what’s the deal? I thought she cared for him. Why, why would she hurt my friend?”

I was the middle child, great at negotiating, great at being the middle man. The one who would try to settle things. I was on Noah’s side with this one, she’s my friend, but he’s my brother. Even I didn’t see this coming. I tried to remain neutral when I asked them and tried not to look annoyed.

“Dude- she does, she cares for him a lot,” Malcolm spoke while tying up his curls. “Noah makes her so happy. We haven’t seen her glow like that in years, I just- I don’t know. We don’t know why she would leave. Unless…”

Chase quickly pushed Malcolm back into the room slightly. “Dude, no. That’s not our business to tell. She has to be the one to decide.”

“What?!” I asked.

They knew something, and I needed to know; right now.

“That’s her business, not ours,” Chase said, rubbing his head.

“What?,” I scoffed. “Is she fucking dying or something? Is she okay?”

“No, no, she’s fine. All I’ll say is she does things in her life that can require extra attention. But like I said, that’s not for us to discuss, even with you man, sorry,” he pauses and says again. “Is he- is Noah alright?”

“Honestly? No. He isn’t, he’s drunk and writing right now. He’s gonna feel like hell when we have to leave for the airport in a few hours.”

Malcolm sighed. “I’m sorry dude. When Y/N comes back, we’re going to have to have a long talk. We know she cares for your friend, Nick. Her heart is in the right place- we just don’t know where the hell her mind is. We’ll figure it out.”

I nod and smile slightly, in agreement. My eyes want to convey a lot more. Y/N’s a good person, but she broke my friend's heart tonight. This is why I was so hesitant about this relationship with him and Y/N. I warned Noah not to jump yet, but he did.

All I could do right now until she came back was nod a quick thanks to them and hope that Y/N would confide in them. I wanted to fix my friend's broken soul so often, and so often I tried and succeeded. I wasn’t sure I could with this one- I needed to let them go through this on their own. But I’ll be damned if I let my friend suffer.

“Alright well, let me know what you find out, please.”

“Absolutely, anytime man. We’ll talk,” Chase reassured with a nod, Malcolm bumping fists with mine.

When I made it back to Noah’s room, I noticed the guys huddled around Noah’s slumped body in the bed, clutching the pillow Y/N laid on close to his chest, snoring loudly, and another empty bottle of Hennessy next to him.

“Shit,” I breathed. “Another one?”

Matt sighed defeated. “We tried, man. But his strength when he’s drunk and angry is something not to mess with. You know that.”

I nodded because I knew that. All too well.

“He only fell asleep about five minutes ago. I don’t know how we’re going to get him up in two hours so we can make our flights,” Folio wondered.

“We’ll figure it out,” I assured them. “Did he finish writing?”

“Yeah,” Matt slowly went towards the end of the bed, gently pulling the book from under Noah’s arm; pen falling from his hands.

“What does it say?” My brows raised as I took the paper in my hands; my brothers' broken words staring back at me.

Bitter ends to the nights. I’m along for the ride. Out of breath, out of time. Everything has a price. You can be all I got, what’s the difference? Hennessy and a lot of bad decisions. All I know, all I know is bad, bad decisions.

“Gotta admit, it’s fucking good,” Jolly said while he read the lyrics over my shoulder.

I bit my lip. “Yeah.”

Folio yawned loudly while stretching, exhausted body falling onto my bed. “Get ready boys because once we’re home, we won’t have a moment of peace. We’re writing a new record.”

NICK R.

You could cut the tension with a knife in this boarding gate right now.

The sun barely broke through the thick glass of the windows as Bad Omens and Hollow Souls sat on other ends of the gate, waiting for our flights to be called. With tired but intent eyes, I watched Noah as he kept his eyes cast down to his hands, fingers intertwining with each other as he picked away the black nail polish. It was as though it was his subconscious way of chipping pieces of Y/N away, the way he washed his hands in the restroom earlier, scrubbing her off him.

His nails were surely, going to bleed if he kept picking at them, I wanted to intervene, say stop that. I needed him to process his feelings. I so badly wanted to scream in this airport, wake the fuck up, to them both. But I kept my reservations.

And just like him, Y/N looked rough. It was clear neither of them, or well any of us got any sleep last night.

Where the fuck did they go so wrong together?

Noah had been a fan of hers ever since that night on my pull-out couch but the first time they met each other almost 2 months ago, their eyes were bright with a vibrant gaze. Almost like searchlights attempting to find something. The lights found it, but they were almost too intense, almost like bystanders. Through all the confusion, I knew deep within me it wouldn’t be long until the searchlights were searching again, just a matter of when.

Us?

We weren’t allowed to see what was being found. We should have looked away, and avoided the crash. But to see them now, those same eyes swollen, discolored and raw red, the blood vessels wanting to leave their faces made it harder to look away.

Noah ran a hand through his hair, now out of the braids and cascading around his shoulder, and let his eyes graze over towards Y/N, who was resting her head against Chase's shoulder. It was brief, the look of agony in them, but he looked away before she could catch him.

The airline called out for Vegas first; Chase and Y/N’s flight. Then our flight back home to LA was called out seconds later.

Those two sets of eyes, continue to gaze and plead and beg until their shoulders are tapped, Jolly to Noah and Chase to Y/N. As he stood, Noah adjusted the bag on his shoulder and waved his fingers in a peace sign toward the three members of Hollow Souls. This wasn’t how we wanted our new friendships and tour to end.

He wants to be in her life. He still does, otherwise, he wouldn’t have done that. I thought to myself as I noticed Y/N gave her one peace sign to all of us.

She’s sorry, she wants him in her life and regrets it.

I could fucking see it. This was going to be a long ride with these two.

As we all stood with our carry-on bags, ready to walk towards our gate, I gave Chase a knowing nod who immediately pulled out his phone, avoiding the eyes of Y/N, to send me a message.

I’ll tell you everything

Noah slept the entire flight, not speaking a word or even opening his eyes. Now, as we pulled up to the house he said with Jolly, Orie, Michael, and Jesse, Noah still had yet to say one word. Folio offered to stay with but we knew he had someone to meet back home in Virginia so we told him we had it from here.

“You sure?” Folio asked before we boarded the plane.

I nodded. “Yeah, go back to Virgina. Tell her we said hey.”

I, on the other hand, was a different story.

“I’m not going home right now,” I told Noah as I set my bags down in their living room. They had little extra space, but I didn’t care. I’d sleep on the couch as long as I was near my brother. “I won’t leave you in this state, Noah.”

“Nick, I’m a grown man. I’ll be alright,” he sighed while popping open the bottle of aspirin, and swallowing two pills dry.

For the hangover.

“I know you are,” I nodded. “Just let me be there for you, okay?”

NOAH

If it wasn’t terrible enough that not only did my fucking love life shut down, but the world had to as well?

Two months. It’s been almost two months since the tour ended and this pandemic took over the world, forcing us to stay stuck inside. While the rest of the guys went stir-crazy after the first few weeks, I spent the solace writing, drinking, and trying to forget about her.

The latter lasted only a few minutes once we returned home; her scent being stained into my skin, her touch engraved deep into my bones it made it hard to get out of bed. I see her in all my mirrors. Her reflection was haunting me relentlessly like a ghost.

Hennessy and Jack have become my friends in the last few weeks at home. I knew the guys were worried; I didn’t need them to worry. I was fine.

Y/N and I are friends.

Right, then how come you haven’t texted her in weeks?

Because she’s been busy with the move, I retorted back to my own thoughts.

Malcolm texted our Hollow Omens group chat to let us know that Y/N was settling in nicely in their new apartment in Los Angeles. We can come by anytime for a housewarming party but immediately I ignored that. Wouldn’t it be fucking awkward?

Trey wasn’t home when she and Chase showed up to pack her things so they could leave without incident.

Even with her cat Salem.

Chase sent a few pictures of the cat in the group chat, long black fur lying on his chest. I never responded, simply liking the messages before setting my phone on silent the rest of the night. I noticed that Y/N rarely ever responded in the chat as well, only when Chase or Malcolm would ask her something but she would only reply with emojis or a short ‘ok.’

The pandemic was only getting started and I could feel the suffocation kick in. I felt alone; utterly alone. I put all my heart into this one woman, a woman I yearned for, for a long time.

The loud ringing of the doorbell pulled me from my melancholy thoughts and I sighed, almost forgetting I ordered food an hour ago. I was in such a trance I hadn’t realized the noise of the loud bell eased me out of my rocking back and forth on the couch.

I didn’t even notice I did that.

I took a massive swig of my jack and clenched my teeth as it burned all the way down my throat, heart racing a mile a minute.

Calm down, calm down.

Time slowed, or passed by in a blaze? I wasn’t sure the longer I sat in the somewhat dark living room, open but untouched food container on the table in front of me as the chicken scratch of my handwriting teased back at me.

Why’s this always gotta happen to me? I should have known. I never fail to never learn from mistakes, still throwing stones. Blood signed, we made it a pact. Yours dried out; you took it back.

The alcohol was like battery acid as I took another large swing of Jack but it wasn’t kicking in strong enough. I kept swinging until the burn covered up my pain.

Harper’s soft whines from her perch next to me on the couch pulled at my heartstrings so knowing Orie wasn’t here, I fed her a few pieces of my cold dinner.

The front door opened, voices carrying from the entryway into the living room and my heart hammered with the panic of them seeing me like this. I hid the bottle under the pillow and tossed the small bag into the garbage from my food.

“Shit, Noah. Why are you sitting in the dark?” Jolly asked while turning on the lamp next to the sofa I was sitting on.

“Hi,” My voice was soft because now with the bright lights, the room was spinning.

“You working on another song?” He eyed the bottle that stuck out from behind the pillow, irritation in his eyes.

They matched my own.

I chewed roughly on my bottom lip. “Yes, man, what do you think?”

“Don’t be hostile, go eat and let me look over it,” Jolly motioned to my food while he reached for the pad of paper.

“You can’t just tell me what to do,” I snapped while reaching for it before he could.

“Noah, you gotta eat so you don’t get hungover. Let me look at the song,” he took the pad of paper and walked over to the other side of the room. Once he fell into the chair in the corner of the room, Jolly nodded up at me. “Fucking eat, Noah”

I sighed and grabbed my food to chew slowly, “Okay Dad”

Jesse stalked into the living room a few moments later while stuffing his phone into his pocket. “Nick said there might be news of the ban lifting completely by the end of the month. Which means we can get a change of scenery. Might be good for us.”

Holy Hades, this is one of those times I wished I lived alone.

Shortly after getting back home, the pandemic started and Nick ended up getting stuck with us in LA. He didn’t mind, more time for us to hang and chill, but now that procedures were lifting slowly at a time, he took the first opportunity to fly back to Virginia to get things settled there.

“Hey,” Jesse sat on the arm of Jolly’s chair. “Is this another song?”

Even though my head was throbbing with the ongoing hangover, I leaned back into the couch while nodding and Harper now rested her whole body in my lap. “It’s the third one.”

“Oh? Nice! Let me see” He began flipping through the pages.

Normally, I’d jump and take the book from his hands, but right now this room was in spirals. I was sick to my knees. All I wanted to do was call her, and have her tell me it’ll be fine. But I wasn’t ready to talk to her yet, and she wasn’t ready to talk to me either.

Clearly.

Malcolm texted me the other day, outside of the Hollow Omens group chat to tell me that Y/N wasn’t doing okay and she missed me. She wanted to talk to me and wanted us over one night when the bans were lifted. But if that was the truth, then how come the last text I had on my phone from her was right before she came to my hotel room that night?

Her unholy skin tasted like the forbidden fruit, all the morals we held that night gone. No gods, no religion. Just our bad decisions. Memories of the way she looked while on top of me burned into my brain and I couldn’t forget the way she felt coming undone.

It paralyzed me so much so that I left Malcolm on read for two days.

Thanks man, glad it worked out. Be in touch.

Snapping out of my drunken thoughts, I noticed Jesse was still reading the pages, not giving a damn I’m leaving my heart out on the table in front of him, bleeding all over while he was reading it.

“Bad Decisions. Nice,” Jesse nodded before flipping back to the new song I was working on. “Nowhere to go? Angsty. I like it.”

I shrugged and stopped mid-chew. “Yeah, I know. It’s what I do, Jesse.”

Arrogant? No, it was smart; I had to channel this shit somewhere. I knew this, no matter what, I’ll always write a fucking song. I wanted to panic, and I did, but the liquor was doing its job.

Jolly went to grab the guitar while Jesse moved to the couch, Harper now lying in his lap.

Traitor.

As I reached for the bottle of Jack this time, Jolly hastily ripped it from my hands and to exhausted to fight, I let him.

“No. Let’s add a chorus to Nowhere To Go, yeah?”

“Sure, yeah, I got something in mind.” I took the notebook back to jot some more words down.

After a few moments, I read the entire thing a few times, making sure it was perfect before I gave it to him.

“Start with this?” He asked.

I nodded then soon, my thoughts became words into the air.

“Hear me out, I’m sorry, but I’m a little less than sold. I’ve been around, heard all the stories you said you never told. You’re used to speaking in tongues to feel like you’re in control. Now you’ve got nowhere to run, now you’ve got nowhere to go. Tell me what’s mine and tell me what’s yours. Why I never got a say, never got a choice? Tell me what’s mine and tell me what’s yours. Why I never got a say, never got a choice?”

“Fuck, that sounds amazing, Noah. Let’s finish this.” Jolly mused,

That night, we finished Bad Decisions and Nowhere to Go.

Folio

Noah began smoking weed again, on top of all the alcohol he’d been consuming the last few weeks, he was on a downward spiral. It was only in small doses but that’s how the drinking started; he took up this faux savior persona.

“I can save myself,” he’d say after one of us would bring up how worried we were about him.

It was a load of shit. Any of us could tell you that.

This was the first time I’d seen him since the tour ended, all those months ago, but time away did nothing to help his mental state. Noah was breaking, piece by piece, and now that the ban lifted, we could visit again. Hence Nick and I were hanging out in their living room, a soft beat of music playing on the speakers.

Noah came bounding down the stairs, smelling of whiskey and weed, eyes glassy, rosy, and filled with rage. His hands were full of ink as he’d been writing nonstop, with everlasting consistency.

As he cascaded, his stomps were harsh, and if he realized it, Noah didn’t give a shit. When he reached into the kitchen and slammed the cupboard door wide open, he grabbed a bag of pita chips with tight force, breaking a few chips no doubt.

“Why are these almost gone? I just fucking bought them?” He snapped with a smart-ass attitude.

All of us eyed each other wearily, unsure how or even if we should respond but it was Orie who muttered under his breath. “We had some with the hummus we bought earlier. Chill the fuck out, Noah. It’s not that deep.”

Noah tossed the bag onto the counter. “It is that deep when it's something of mine. Fucking ass if you want it. Why is it so hard for people to communicate?”

Michael, who usually was the quiet, almost forgotten one, finally snapped. “We’re being patient with you. But we’re not your fucking punching bag.”

Jolly’s head snapped over to Michael from his spot on the floor in front of the couch with wide eyes full of heat, I was sure vanilla ice cream would melt. Jolly was the one who let all of us know to take it easy on Noah; it was a hard time in his life, and the last thing he needed was one of us fighting with him.

Noah hadn’t spoken to Y/N in weeks and we could physically see the imaginary soul ties that bound them together withering away, even though they were within miles of each other now that she lived here. Miles apart but still couldn’t gain the fucking courage to grow up and speak to each other.

Michael sighed his apology while running a hand over his face. “We’re here for you, man. We’re being patient. But you can’t keep going on like this.”

“You’re drowning right now and the painful to watch, you haven’t been this bad in years. Let us help you,” Nick spoke with a shaky breath.

Out of all of us, it hurt him the most to see Noah like this because he’d seen it before; only this time it was worse.

“You can’t help me, nothing to help me with. I’m fine,” Noah shrugged before reaching for another beer.

“You’re in denial and it’s ridiculous,” I said, tired of seeing and hearing the same bullshit. “Noah, I think you should see someone.”

“A shrink? Seriously?” He snorted.

“I think it can help you, besides the way music does,” I offered.

“I don’t need you to help me, I just want the racing to stop. The racing in my mind going miles a minute,” He slammed a finger to the side of his head repeatedly. “We have so much shit to do, and I can’t see anything but what happened right now. It’s a fuckin loop in my brain. Everything just keeps glitching.”

Noah then paced the length of the kitchen, red sweater pulled tightly against his chest and hood over his eyes.

“I’m- I’m sorry man, I’m sorry I just- fuck” he spat, a tear fell out of his eye but was quick to wipe it away.

Vulnerability be damned

“We’re your friends, we love you. We were stuck in this fucking house together for months. We can’t go anywhere and you don’t want us to worry? Well, too fucking bad because we do,” Orie explained with a tense-looking Harper in his lap.

She didn’t like the sudden noise but didn’t want to leave her dad.

Noah’s glossy eyes took in all our faces one by one, lingering a few seconds longer than the last.

“I just need time, I don’t know how to handle this, it’s- it’s weird for me. I’m uncomfortable. I don’t think I’ve fallen this hard, this fast,” he admitted while swallowing the lump in his throat.

That much was true. He’s had exes, one-night stands; hell, he’s been in love before- but I’ve never seen it develop this way. We’ve never seen him fall from such a high altitude this quickly. His guards are usually pointed like sharp knives, but it was so easy for him to dull them down for her.

I only hoped Y/N knew that. This was a big deal. I watched my friend crumble and crack like glass.

Time would only tell when they would repair the damage done here. I only hoped it would soon because we hated to see him bruise so easily. He’s right on the edge I fear, one more thing, one more thing and he’ll fall completely into a darkness we wouldn’t be able to pull him from.

“All I do is drink to numb the pain because all the good days we had together got taken away when my head turned on. I keep asking myself ‘why am I not good enough for her?’ How the fuck can I be good enough for her when I don’t even know what good enough is?”

None of us had an answer for him; the only one that did, he was purposely ignoring.

With a lone tear falling from his eyes, Noah wiped it away with the back of his hand, sniffles echoing in the kitchen.

“It’s so hard to watch myself win when a loser's all I've been.”

NOAH

I lay in my bed, neon glows emanating from behind my bed soaking the walls, as I stared up at the ceiling. My mind was racing so face in pace with my heart and I tried so hard to just breathe; fucking breathe to ease it. This pain was like a burning coal I was walking but within a second, all the pain was gone. I couldn’t take it anymore, the drinking, smoking, and not eating affected my health. I was skin on bones at this point.

Keaton's voice rang in my ears. “You’re a shell, Noah. Holding in these shattered nerves. A skeleton that's lost its skin and desperately wants back in.”

Tattooed hands covered my face as I blew a shaky breath into them.

“I need a sign from you, man. Give me something to know I haven’t messed it up yet,” I cried.

A second later, my phone buzzed from the spot on my bed, and through cloudy tears, I sucked in a breath when I saw Chase’s name appear with a new text.

Chase: Hey man, I haven’t heard from you the last few days, I wanted to check in with you. I know this may seem out of nowhere, but we’re worried about you and just hope you’re doing alright.

I stared up at the ceiling again, my heart relaxing its frenzied beat for a moment. “Thank you.”

Hey, all good. Sorry for the late reply. Appreciate it, doing just fine.

Chase: that’s great, but I’ve been hearing other things, so I don’t buy that. Look, again, this isn’t my place but I know Y/N hurt you that night. I can’t sit here and apologize on her behalf, but, I can at least tell you this: she isn’t doing well either; and as someone with two fucking eyes; I can see how much you mean to each other. Some birdies have been telling me you’re drinking yourself into a coma and acting a fool. I apologize for the harshness, but let me ask you this, do you think Y/N wants another Trey? You’re fucking better than that, aren’t you? Do you want to end up as another deadbeat musician with nothing to show for it but a bottle? No, I don’t know you that well but I can see you’re not that guy.

Do yourself a favor and do fucking better. Because she deserves better and so do you. So y’all can sort this soap opera shit out. Talk to you soon, I fucking hope. ✌️

With my phone clattering to the floor, the message left on read, I continued to lie in my bed; the pillow suffocating my mouth and nose.

“I’m not Trey. I’m fucking better than him,” I sat up quickly in bed, my hangover still raging inside my head.

Music is all I have, it’s all lived for-that was until I met her.

With the small get-together happening downstairs still, I ran to the bathroom across the hall to throw up any contents of lingering alcohol and pita chips. I washed my face and brushed my hair out, for the first time in weeks looking somewhat presentable.

“Get it together, you fucking dick.” I pointed a firm finger at my reflection in the mirror, thankful I didn’t see the ghost of Y/N staring back at me. “Do it for the band, do it for your music. Do it for her.”

To some, my shaky words might not have a strong belief but they did to me. It left me with the belief that miracles, no matter how inexplicable or unbelievable, are real and can occur without regard to the natural order of things. Keaton’s sign proved that.

“Just come back to me,” I whispered with trembling lips.

#noah sebastian #noah sebastian and reader #noah sebastian x reader #noah sebastian reader insert #noah sebastian smut #enemies to lovers #right person wrong time #starcrossed lovers

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calliethetrekkie · 6 months

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Triumvirate Prompts: Day 19

#19. Favorite Spock Moment

Because I suck at just picking one thing, I shall give you a Top 5 list, and will also do so for Kirk and McCoy's prompts. So for Spock, going off the top of my head in no particular order...

1. The Naked Time Breakdown

Am I a horrible person for picking this? To me, this is when Spock began to click as a three-dimensional character. Up to that point, he'd been the smart character. The composed, no-nonsense, logical second-in-command who was the smartest man in the room. He'd spoken about being half-human before and how he was able to live with it... but we see here that no, it's not that simple. Upon the illness removing his emotional control, he gets into a conference room, tries to use his usual methods to keep himself controlled, and just... breaks down into tears. It shows us that there is more to this guy. He does have feelings and emotions that he keeps suppressed, and the more that the show goes on, the more we realize why. It really helped open Spock up as a character for me.

2. Climax of The Galileo Seven

My opinion of this episode probably differs from some, since I think that Spock is very much culpable for some of the troubles in the episode and that he earned the mistrust of the crew. He's clung so hard onto his logic and come across as a cold hardass with a superiority complex, and refuses to listen to anything that anyone else has to say or suggest. All that did was lower morale and worsen the situation. But here? With nothing left to lose, Spock is finally able to let that logic go and do something utterly insane by ejecting the shuttle fuel. It's an utterly insane plan that by all means should have failed... but it didn't. It shows us that Spock can make the more, for lack of a better word, human choice and take the risk. Sure, he tries to deny it at the end, so he still has a long ways to go. But it's still a step in the right direction and a great piece of character development that saved the day at the end.

3. Protecting McCoy in Bread and Circuses

Okay, this one might be self-indulgent, but can you blame me? It's such a good moment. He and McCoy have been bickering all episode, even more than normal. But once they're forced into the arena with McCoy hopelessly out of his depth, what happens? As soon as he's down, Spock intervenes and nerve pinches the opponent before McCoy can be harmed. Remember by doing this, he broke the rules and Kirk thus volunteers himself for execution to spare the two of them. That means by saving McCoy, he's condemned Kirk. He tries to play it off as losing the doctor would be consequential to the ship, but McCoy doesn't buy the BS, calls him out on his emotional suppression, and makes it clear that he's worried about Jim also. All because Spock won't just admit that he saved McCoy because he cares about him and panicked. I think it goes a long way into showing that McCoy understands Spock more than he thinks and bringing that to light to him and giving more insight on how ashamed Spock can be when it comes to his emotions. It's a strong scene for both Spock and McCoy, but it goes a long ways in allowing us to better understand Spock.

2. The Sacrifice in The Wrath of Khan

I don't think you can mention Spock moments without bringing up this scene. It's arguably the most famous moment in Star Trek history. With the ship in danger, Spock acts to save everyone. He knows full well that he'll be killed by radiation, but he doesn't hesitate. McCoy tries to stop him and gets knocked out/given Spock's soul as a result. Spock sacrifices his life to save the many. To save his friends. Yes, we all know that he gets brought back at this point, so maybe that undermines the impact a little, but it's still such a strong moment. After watching Spock grow and struggle all these years, it all culminates at this moment. The moment where he says goodbye to Kirk? Yeah, that's... that's a lot.

5. This Scene from The City On The Edge Of Forever

EDITH: [...] You know as well as I do how out of place you two are around here. SPOCK: Interesting. Where would you estimate we belong, Miss Keeler? EDITH: You? At his side, as if you've always been there and always will.

It took me forever to think of one more thing for this list. I'm not even sure if this one really counts. But I thought about this, and it seems like the perfect moment to end on. I am nowhere invested in the Kirk and Spock relationship as the vast majority of the fandom is. I'm sorry, I like them, but there's just nothing worth exploring with them for me. But there is no denying how loyal and devoted to Kirk that Spock is. There's so many episodes and moments that I can point to showing this. But I think that this bit in The City on the Edge of Forever sums it all up perfectly. He's always right by his captain's side. Whether it be to follow him into a mission, keep him focused on his captain duties, throw himself in the way of harm for him, he is always there. He outright calls Kirk his closest friend (as well as McCoy, we are NOT taking McCoy erasure on here) in Amok Time hence why he asked him to go with him to Vulcan. Their trust in each other is so strong and Edith Keller, who has pretty much known them for just a few hours, puts it perfectly.

...also Spock's reaction when Kirk insinuates that working with 30's resources is 'asking too much' of him. Seriously, his face when Kirk dares says that.

It's so beautiful XD

#star trek tos #terms of service-tober #spock

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peregrineggsandham · 7 months

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Been playing Dark Souls I for the first time, blind. It's my first-ever Soulsborne game but after really enjoying other games that have been compared to Dark Souls for a variety of reasons (encouraging exploration, interconnected world, lore/plot that is drip-fed through sparse dialogue and item descriptions, combat that is challenging but fundamentally fair, environmental storytelling, themes of light/dark not necessarily corresponding one-to-one with good/evil, "dark fantasy" setting in general, secrets upon secrets upon secrets) I decided to give it a shot.

Have been completely blind so please no spoilers, even though this game is now 12 years old. All I know about the lore is... uh... Aviators music. Really enjoying having context for songs I've loved for years. Fading Light really hits now, it's awesome.

Thoughts below.

[Edit: an absolute shit-ton of thoughts below, sorry y'all, it just kept going.]

...I am loving this game, y'all. I understand why it's a classic and damn, I think I'm gonna end up playing through the whole series. Eventually. Too bad Bloodborne doesn't have a PC port, because I hear it has a more explicitly Lovecraftian vibe and I am here for that aesthetic.

...Will say that this is entirely blind save for one googling which amounted to "hey I consistently suck at bosses that require me to split my focus because I have a hard time tracking moving things on a screen, but... Ornstein and Smough are a pain in the ass for everyone, right? right? they are exactly the kind of boss I tend to be very bad at but it isn't just me right??"

(very glad to see the answer was yes, finally gave in and summoned another player for help. Thank you Percy, whoever you are. I think I could beat them solo, I was getting either of them in their giant forms to about half-health pretty consistently, but by then it had been far, far too many hours and I have real-world things to do, I really couldn't spare the time to keep trying. for now. maybe later.)

(felt kinda bad about it for a bit but then with the Lordvessel in hand holy fuck I have fast travel now and it feels amazing I went into the magma-y depths and took care of the... whats-his-name, the guy who acted just like the Stray Demon. Having beat the Stray Demon, it only took a couple tries, and then I one-shot the one after it, whom I think was called the Centipede Demon but whom I have dubbed Crawly.)

Currently throwing myself at the Bed of Chaos, who feels more "environmental hazard" than "boss" but after the rest of the... gauntlet?... kind of a nice break.

(Admittedly I realized late that it was a gauntlet - I beat Ceaseless Discharge right after Quelaag and then learned there was nowhere to go afterwards, whoops.)

Lore Musings:

(Look I know I'm probably super off - this game is very old and has sequels and I'm sure people have spent literal months of their lives piecing it all together, and believe you me I will be watching lore videos... after I have finished the game. By which I here mean "gotten all achievements". Which, google tells me [I like to check these things] will take three playthroughs. So it'll be a while, and it's fun to piece things together on my own! Feel free to hint cheekily at things that are right and wrong here but please don't spoil.)

I've been told I am to succeed Lord Gwyn and take his place to "link the first flame" and prolong the Age of Fire. Mm. Right. So. That seems lovely. Really, honestly, lovely - the world is beautiful. Worth keeping it going, I think.

(I had an initial theory that, having kinda passed its natural endpoint, the whole world was basically "undead" - lumbering on after it was supposed to have ended. So that prolonging it would effectively curse everyone to eventually go Hollow. But it sounds like "linking"/succeeding Gwyn would actually return things to how they were a millennia ago and solve this whole undead problem.)

......However. Two issues there.

First Issue: One of my favorite games of all time is Hollow Knight, which I've heard is rather DS-inspired. I definitely see how. Not just the metroidvania design and emphasis on challenging bosses and drip-fed lore, but themes. Light and dark. A sacrifice to keep something at bay, who is failing in their duty, who needs to be replaced. Now, I'm not going to rely on a completely different game to inform my understanding of this one's lore, but...

... But... well, this isn't a permanent solution, is it? Something like a thousand years ago, as I understand it so far, shit went down. People started becoming undead, Gwyn went off to Do Something About It. (Also the Witch of Izalith fell to Chaos around that time? Will get there.) Havel went Hollow and was locked in his tower, presumably by Gwyn (which was my original clue that Gwyn/the Lords were still alive after their whole Lords vs. Dragons showdown, since it meant Gwyn had to still have been around when the zombie problem began - love this piecemeal lore).

Gwyn "linked the flame" (the First Flame? what did he link it to? current bet is the Shrine, since that is what it is named - maybe that has something to do with why its Firekeeper, of all of them, seems to have some terrible penance she is performing). Now it's my turn? But Gwyn was a Lord (whatever that means? current guess is Lord=God but we've heard of more gods than just the four, so honestly I'm gonna base my Lord=God assumption entirely on what happens when I collect a Lord's soul and whether they look like the other unique souls in my inventory, since that would imply they're a similar kind of soul).

I am not a Lord. I'm just some dude. a flawed vessel, if you will.

Meaning that eventually - and probably less than 1000 years from now, someone is going to have to succeed me. (Was Gwyn even the first?)

How far will this go? How long can this last?

We're prolonging the inevitable.

(Also what does "linking the fire" entail and is this a Ones Who Walk Away from Omelas situation.)

Now, you could easily frame "prolonging the inevitable" as either a good or bad thing.

(1) Theme of persistence and hope: Even if the end is inevitable, isn't it worth fighting to drive it back as long as possible? Just because everything ends doesn't mean we shouldn't give up and wait for it to happen. We must fight to keep the fire lit, as long as we can.

(2) Theme of acceptance and change: Yes, everything ends and the end is inevitable - fighting that will only lead to despair. Ends are not bad, change is not bad, and letting change occur is not giving up - it is only witnessing the start of a new age. Even if we can bring it back to its former glory in some day, is the world not, by this point, undead?

Is that a bad thing to be?

Even if it isn't, is there new life that we are preventing from existing?

Now of course you can argue that there is not new life! What is to come is darkness! It is devouring, consumption, end, ash, blindness! (Funny, though, isn't it how all of those things can come also from wildfires.) Dark is bad. Obviously. Of course we don't want the end to come, when all it will bring is despair.

But then, that's the Second Issue:

"Falling to dark", the end of the age of fire, it's all presented as quite horrible. Fair enough! It does, indeed, seem to be! Certainly darkness is a corrupting force - Gwyn's soul (?) split into four, Four Kings, falling to dark - don't know what that's about yet, I imagine I have to find some way to drain New Londo to find out.

Point is, darkness is bad! Very bad! Everyone is quite insistent upon this! Dark=bad. Falling to it = bad.

....

........Except I'm in Lost Izalith right now and it's. uh.

not gonna lie, it's pretty bad here.

and it's very, very bright.

Here, in this lava-lit city, where Solaire himself found a "sun" so blindingly beautiful he lost himself to it. Here, where the witches who had mastered fire - mastered light - fell just as hard.

Light, it seems, is just as corrupting a force.

"Chaos" is more confusing - I think it's effectively the primordial base from which light and dark arise, aka "Disparity", will have to watch the opening cutscene for a third time. But that doesn't seem quite right since seems to be more light-aligned, what with the chaos fire pyromancies and seeing how the witch and her daughters were corrupted by chaos. not dark. they did not fall to dark.

Again, haven't figured out what's going on with the Kings yet, but...

...I am not convinced that dark is evil.

And I'm not convinced that clinging to light is the right thing to do.

Fantasy likes to paint darkness as stagnation and death, light as life and change.

But as I understand it, both light and dark arose from Disparity, which had something to do with the First Flame. They were created at the same time. There is no such thing as light without a corresponding concept of darkness. They are equals.

Stagnation, emptiness, those aren't characteristics of darkness, they're characteristics of the ancient world, the one the dragons ruled/existed in. Dragons which might (?) have been made of stone, the #1 metaphor for something firm and unchanging and eternal (geologists everywhere just rolled their eyes). Eternity, immortality, that predates light and dark.

The concept of decay and death requires a concept of life, of change. A world of dark is not a world without change. Things still died in the Age of Fire; it is not eternal. (that's rather the whole "problem", actually). Hell, Nito is apparently "first of the dead" and he was born of flame like the other Lords as per opening cinematic. Things will, presumably, still live in some future Age of Darkness.

...the entire point of disparity, of fire, was the introduction of the possibility of change.

........so it kind of feels that the perpetuation of this world, a world of Fire Unchanging, would be just... a shallow and ill-fitting recreation of How It Used To Be during the age before disparity came to be.

Like. Look. Uninformed blind-playthrough timeline here: There was Stagnation, all stone and dragons. Then, Disparity was born, Change, and with it Light and Dark. The Souls of Lords were found, and used Light to fight against Stagnation. (I feel like Dark would have worked just as well.) They built a world of Light.

Now everyone is upset that Change is happening? My dudes you built this place out of one half of Change incarnate. It does that! It's almost as if you didn't really want Change, you just wanted a new world of Stagnation in which you ruled as gods.

A new eternal kingdom, made of fire instead of stone.

But fire isn't stone. Fires go out, eventually. And are rekindled.

....Funny, it's almost like a classic dark-light-dark-light cycle. The story is so close to "there was dark, then light, now dark is coming again and everyone fond of light is trying to stop it".

But it's not.

Because there hasn't been dark - at least, not a full-on Age of it. I think. I dunno, there are two more games and I haven't finished this one yet but...

...I suspect that that kind of cycle is exactly what would happen if this age ended! Dark is born of disparity, too! It'd end eventually, and a new Age of Fire would be born, and so on, ad infinitum, until even change itself changes and the cycle is broken, because an infinite cycle is really just its own kind of stagnation and one day someone will have to make that choice.

But that's not this story. This cycle hasn't even started, because fire is clung to so tightly.

Maybe that's not a bad thing. Again, infinite cycles, not great, but... more natural, certainly. And if dark is destruction without rebirth, decay without fertilization of new soil, despair and suffering without relief, then, well, I can't say I disagree.

...............but is it though? all I have been told of it comes from its kings and those who followed them. maybe they are corrupt and unwilling to give up their power. or maybe, more likely, they are only afraid of the dark.

....We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it. Souls of Lords, found in the flame - they're children of light, then? What do I know so far, that is born from the dark? Anything?

........yeah I have no idea if I am reading really really really too far into this but from what I know of games that take inspiration from this and from what osmosis of its Themes has entered pop culture I really don't think I am. (and hell, even if I am, it's super fun)

I don't know if I'm going to have the choice to succeed Gwyn or not but I have a sneaking suspicion that the answer is yes given that the achievements list gives two endings named "To Link the Fire" and "The Dark Lord" (the latter of which... uh... vaguely ominous)

also side note what the fuck is humanity

and also talking about Lords why has no one mentioned the furtive pygmy since the opening cutscene. "so easily forgotten indeed"

Four souls for the Lordvessel: Nito, the Witch, Gwyn in four pieces via the Kings…. and Seath? The dragon? Not the pygmy. What happened to the pygmy.

[rewatched cutscene] "then from the Dark, they came" are those humans. those look like humans.

something is very weird here.

WAIT FUCK corollary to 49

"Then from the Dark, they came" humans. found lords in the flame. are humans are born of dark like lords are of light?

.....well what the fuck does that mean?

if lords=gods, are humans "dark" things that have been ruled by light for millennia? i mean, that's not so bad, light is lovely, big fan of fire, I am a bona fide swamp-dwelling pyromancer fire is my jam 10/10 would solve all my problems with arson wait are we the fucking "dark souls"

I mean we exist during this Age of Fire, but we're also turning undead. A problem the gods don't (?) seem to be having.

…We are afraid of the dark when we do not know what lurks in it.

What if we are what lurks in it?

...........alright now I'm reading too much into this. But I LOVE this kind of lore where things all just feel… kind of off? As if there is some big picture you can't -quite- see.

I am under no illusion these questions'll be answered perfectly in-game, and I'm well aware there are 12 years of figuring all this out for me to catch up on! But damn if it isn't fun to specul-

THE HUMANITY ITEM. IS A FUCKING. BOSS SOUL ITEM. IN INVERTED COLORS.

.........

Gripes:

...not many. But the one thing. My nemesis. In this game. Is the god-damned keyboard menu controls. Look, I get that this was made for controller! I do! But I do not own one! Navigating the weapon/item selection is one thing, I'm [checks steam] 84.7 hours in [...oh god, really?? holy fuck. dear lord.] and have finally gotten a handle on that!

But the button to unequip an item in the equipment screen is the same as the button to switch to inspection in the... item screen. whatever you call it. and I suspect this would actually be the same for controller.

How many times have I unequipped something when I meant to look at it? many. 84.7 hour in, how often do I do this still? usually.

...also I only found that bonfire in Sen's Fortress via combination of friendly player message and sheer dumb luck holy crap that would have been a nightmare y'all didn't need to make them that hidden.

......also it'd be very nice if NPCs had some sort of indicator of their name, or mentioned it more than once. I remember Solaire (...RIP, poor dude found his new sun, I carry his talisman in solidarity) and Quelana (because it's so close to Quelaag) and Eingyi (he's mentioned in an item description and the whole... egg... thing haunted me for ages before I met him) and Sif (because why would you make me kill a good pup, guard dog wolf with sword, best friend, she [? female name in Norse myth, not sure if character is also female] was protecting her master's damned grave she did not deserve this) and for some reason Laurentius (dunno why that one stuck) but everyone else gets monikers. Onionman. Bird Friend. Sad Friend. Blacksmith. Bigger Blacksmith. Deader Blacksmith. Sadder Blacksmith. Cheshire Cat Lady.

(Frampt is remembered now because Gwynevere says his name but in my heart he is still Mr. Teeth.)

..........yeah that's all I got, honestly, I have loved everything else about this game.

WAIT NO

ONE MORE THING THAT I REALLY HATE

so there are all these player messages before female characters with no tops reading "great chest ahead"

ha ha very amusing yes chuckle chuckle

BUT

you know who has a very well-defined chest on full display right there in your face and for whom I have never seen a single "great chest ahead" message?

SMOUGH.

i realize that he is wearing armor but i have no reason to believe it isn't form-fitting and true-to-life. dude may as well be topless. there is no smough boobs appreciation and i will not stand for it.

To conclude, I present two pieces of evidence:

"Since his sores were inflamed by lava from birth, his witch sisters gave him this special ring." - Orange Charred Ring item description

"...the Witch of Izalith and her Daughters of Chaos..." - opening cinematic

Diversity win! Ceaseless Discharge is trans.

#sam says stuff sometimes #dark souls

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spiltscribbles · 3 years

Note

You're doing prompts! Yesss you have no idea how happy that makes me cause I love you're writing so so so much its so amazing soo yayyyyyy 🥳🥳 can I request prompt 32? Things you said I wouldn't understand. Maybe some wolfstar? I'm just a slut for your fics so I would probably die if you wrote this. Even if you don't that's fine I never wanna pressure you soo yeah love you 💕💕

~Notes: Gorgeous, this message is literally so fucking kind and I am absolutely SOBBING!!!! You are such a fucking gorgeous soul! And this means the galaxy! And I’m sorry! This screams angst, but I had a really really fucking awful day, so I just wanted to escape with some fluff :( But if you want me to redo I promise I will! Or you can send me another prompt and I’ll write angst! I adore you!!!

A Reblog Is Worth A Thousand Stars » Send Me A Prompt » Things You Said That I Couldn’t Understand

Sirius realizes on an ordinary Tuesday morning as he spills the chocolate chips into the batter of the first batch of flapjacks, that he and his husband of over a decade haven’t had a date night for three months.

Three! Ruddy! Months!

THat’s completely not on! especially considering that now that the twins have entered their terrible twos they’ve barely had any energy at all to go beyond furtive hand jobs and messy kisses in almost just as long. Sirius misses his bloody husband damn it!

“Daddy?” Angelica asks with owlish eyes from where she and her younger brother, Teddy, are standing on either side of him with their expectant plates in hand. “You look peaky.”

“Like you’re gonna puke,” Teddy tacks on helpfully, his ordinarily tawny curls turning a putrid shade of green just to emphasize his point. And Sirius silently reminds himself to tell Tonks off for teaching his kid such rude gestures once she gets back from her honeymoon with that Muggle bird of hers.

“Oi, you guys are going to make your old man feel like he’s the Hogwarts squid if you keep on.” Sirius tells them with a soft tug on Angelica’s ponytail and a cluck of a tongue directed towards his son.

“You’re father’s probably still just getting use to the time difference after getting back from the states.”

Sirius straightens up— pulse spiking in that way it always has around Remus ever since they had first begun to go out as fifth years— and spots him padding into the kitchen, beautifully sleep rumpled and cradling a babbling Maeve in one arm, while her twin, Matthew, toddles along side them with a meaty thumb in his mouth. Though he immediately begins sprinting towards Sirius once realizing that he’s finally home from teaching those Americans the newly enhanced defense tactics that the British Aurors have been utilizing to successful degrees.

“THere’s my Matty,” he crows, lifting him up in the air and blowing a raspberry into his belly while the toddler squawks with glee.

“Daddy home! Daddy! Daddy!”

“And he brings with him enough noise to rival the frog choir,” Remus notes absently.

Sirius waggles his tongue over at him, heart stuttering when he watches the morning sun spilling through the wide partition and unspooling golden in Remus’s hair. “You need it, gorgeous, considering you couldn’t wake up to your own ruddy alarm.”

Remus smiles in that abashed way that’s always been more devious than most give him credit for, “It’s the seventh year Ravenclaws, I think they will actually end up giving me an aneurism with how much extra they write in the essays.”

“Alas, I’m too pretty to be a widow,” Sirius sighs, tossing Matthew up in the air once more and cradling him into his arm before walking over to Remus and dipping down to kiss the corner of his mouth. “I’ve missed you.”

“You could’ve woken me up you know,” Remus mumbles, shifting from foot to foot while sliding Maeve into her high chair. “The moon’s not til tomorrow night.”

Sirius ducks his head, scratching the back of it with appropriate diffidence. “I just didn’t want to disturb you, love.”

Remus doesn’t catch his eye as he begins to walk over to the counter and brings the other portions of the meal to the table, lips pinched and shoulders stiff. “I’m not a total invalid, Sirius. I could welcome my husband home after a week apart.”

“What’s that mean, Tad?” Teddy asks, oblivious to the undercurrent of hurt in his father’s tone and energetic as always while scrambling into his own seat around the breakfast nook, wide eyes glowing with that easy mirth that Sirius is thankful every day his children can feel without any lingering ghosts. “A, erm— In—valvid."

“It means your Tad’s a bit brassed off at me, Ted.” Sirius answers for him, affecting a light hearted cadence. "And that I better get round to finishing up breakfast or else he’ll give me that stiff upper lip of his.”

Remus pins him with a glare from over his shoulder while Sirius sets Matthew into his own seat besides his sister, but his features are softened and Sirius knows that it means he’s close to being forgiven.

“Daddy can I have blueberries in mine,” Angelica asks as he returns to the oven.

“Course, jellybean,” Sirius answers, adopting the pet name that Hope had called her granddaughter ever since they had brought her back from the hospital eight years ago. Sirius loved it even more once finding out that it was actually a reference to some sort of Muggle treat that Remus use to eat by the handfuls as a lad.

“OmyChocomydadzee,” Ted yells towards them with a wedge of cheese in his mouth before sticking his fork into the plate of sliced fruit so to waggle it in front of a giggling Maeve.

“Sorry, son, I don’t understand trollish. Or is that some sort of highly advanced Metamorphmagus language that your Aunty Dora has been teaching you on the sly that we lowly, ordinary wizards couldn’t possibly understand?”

Teddy rolls his bright eyes with a huff, swallowing down pointedly before speaking again. “Only chocolate in mine, just like Tad!”

“Manners, Ted, remember please and thank yous.” Remus says, long suffering as he eases down into his own seat and sips from the mug of coffee that Sirius had already prepared for him. “Though yes, I’d like mine to be chocolate too, Sirius, if you’re taking orders.”

Sirius grins indulgently at them before peering down to his eldest. “Angie darling, what shall we do with their teeth once they fall out from all that sugar?”

Angelica laughs glowingly, and Sirius brushes back her chestnut bangs with a reverent hand.”The snow warlock outdoors could use it since he’s only got a carrot nose after Matty ate the chocolate frogs we were s’pose to use for his smile.”

“Brilliant!”

After they’ve all eaten, Teddy and Angelica race outside to await the Potters amidst shouts of “Shut your trap,” from a peeved off Teddy every time Angelica taunts him over his crush on Effie, and the twins dig into their toy chest in the living room while Sirius and Remus spell away the mess that always ensues after a meal with the Lupin-Blacks.

“Andromeda wants us to bring the Christmas pudding this year,” Remus idly tells Sirius while he enchants the dishes to begin washing themselves with a graceful flick of his wand. Remus ordinarily prefers cleaning them by hand, so Sirius has an inkling that the impending full moon has already begun aching in his bones. Merlin’s saggy bollocks does he wish this new, experimental potion would just escape the bureaucracy of the Ministry so that the man who is his other half could at least have a small relief.

“Is that along with the wine and fresh cranberry sauce she’s asked for?” Sirius says, saddling up behind Remus, bending slightly so to nuzzle his nose along the hollow of his long neck.

“Mmm, she thought you might say that, and wanted to kindly remind you that she carried a set of twins for us when she was forty even though we promised that Ted would be the last sprog.”

“Pff, as if I’d let potter outdo us.”

“We definitely didn’t let that happen,” Remus snorts. “The twins and Pip will surely be the next generation Marauders, God save Minerva.”

“Exactly!” Sirius sneers, locking his arms around Remus’s torso. “Besides ’s not like it’s our fault Meda’s bloody eggs decided on a two for one deal.”

Remus stifles a laugh, leaning back into the embrace and setting his hand over Sirius’s where he’s begun thumbing small circles against his abdomen. “Yes, well if you’d like to have that argument with her?”

“Oh, she’s full of it. I know that the twins are her favorites, spoils them rotten I tell you Moons.”

“Well it’s hard not to with such cute faces,” Remus says, turning his head slightly so to peer over at the pair of them through the doorway. Maeve is munching on the leg of her barbie and Matthew is clashing together pieces of two completely contradictory puzzles. Sirius swears that his chest might implode with the love he feels for his chaotic, little family.

“Course they’re cute, Moons,” he says loftily instead of the incredibly sappy emotions that are flooding his insides. “They’re are kids, cute is in the genes.”

“Cocky bastard,” Remus snorts before turning around in his arms and kissing him full on the mouth. And yes, the sight of Remus curled around the latest essay he’s meant to be marking up with the baby monitor for the twins’s room clutched in his left fist, was an absolute heavenly sight, but Sirius thinks this more hands on approach is a much more appropriate welcome after dealing with an ocean between them and six nights apart.

“Mmm, does this mean I’m not in the dog house anymore?” Sirius asks hopefully, trailing a path of kisses along Remus’s jawline and stopping at the hinge where it meets his neck so to suck only slightly, reveling in the beautifully familiar taste of his husband.

“You were never in the dog house you daft mutt,” Remus reproves in a voice that could’ve been caustic if it weren’t for his words going breathy half way through and his hands clutching tightly onto Sirius’s shoulders. “’S just— Just… Nothing.”

Sirius feels his stomach twist, pulling off of him with a scowl set on his face, and refusing for Remus to just brush this aside, the way he’s always want to do instead of talking about anything that actually might be hurting him. Like he’s afraid that his sodding feelings are somehow a burden, the self-possessed bastard.

“Tell me,” he intones, brooking no arguments while he gently takes Remus’s face in hand so he can’t look away.

His gorgeous features twist up, indignant and mulish, but they relax almost just as quickly, a defense tactic that’s melt away almost completely after so long of being intwined with one another in the most intimate of ways.

“Sirius, there was a time that you could hardly keep your hands off of me after being away for less than half as long,” Remus tells him, voice wavering only slightly. “And I understand if it’s getting tiring having to parent around the moon’s schedule—“

“What the bloody fuck are you talking about,” Sirius really meant to listen to him all the way through, he did! But he can’t help just how furious he got at the sound of that absolutely ridiculous conclusion Remus has somehow conjured up in his impossible mind. Positively hates how this is still such a point of sensitivity Remus has when it regards to their relationship.

“Sirius—“

“Don’t be a completely idiotic arse, Lupin!” Sirius very nearly shouts, absolutely broiling. “You are the love of my life, and I wouldn’t change a single sodding thing about us! And I swear to Merlin or Morgana or whoever the fuck else, that if you begin speaking such rubbish again, I’ll have to lock you up in our bedroom, and show you just how intensely I mean that.”

Remus’s face has gone flushed throughout Sirius’s diatribe, and his hazel eyes twinkle with that adoring way of his that always makes Sirius’s heart lodge somewhere in his diaphragm. “Lupin-Black.”

“Pardon?”

“You called me Lupin, it’s Lupin-Black now, has been for quite a while.”

Sirius chuckles lowly, feeling his righteous anger deflate as he crowds Remus against the kitchen island and presses their foreheads together. “You done being a senseless sod then?”

Remus locks his hands around Sirius’s neck, kisses his cupids bow with a tender earnestness. “You still could’ve woken me up.”

“I just wanted to make sure that you wouldn’t be exhausted for tomorrow, love.” Sirius reiterates, kissing him with feeling before pulling apart once more. “Though if I’m being totally honest, ��I would’ve liked it if you could’ve wanked me off in hello.”

“That’s all you would’ve wanted?” Remus asks smugly, the tip of his index finger tracing idl patterns against Sirius’s neck.

“Mmm, don’t tease me, Moony.” Sirius tells him before sharing another snog. “I was just thinking earlier on that it’s been three ruddy months since I’ve had you to myself for the entire night.””

Remus’s smile brightens, “Oh yeah? You’ve missed that have you?” He bucks forwards, and Sirius can feel him pressed completely against his front.

“I think I might go mad very, very soon, Mssr Moony if we don’t correct this most awful of grievances.”

Remus laughs fondly, kissing the tip of his nose with a smile on his face. “Well I reckon that the twins are old enough to sleep through the night, and Grandma Lupin is always asking after them.”

Sirius brightens ten fold, “Really?”

“I’m sure the kids won’t mind spending an extended weekend on the Welsh coast.” Remus nods.

“Right, good. Yes! Let’s use that tellamabob thing.”

“But the kitchen’s still a mess.”

“Remus, please have mercy on me,” Sirius begs with his best pleading look until his husband finally relents in that worldweary way of his, even if it’s him who snatches Sirius’s wrist and drags him to that muggle contraption, an excited jittering to his grasp all the while.

Sirius is irrecoverably in love with such a bellend.

~*~

My Wolfstar FIC Masterlist

#WOLFSTAR #REMUS LUPIN #SIRIUS BLACK #REMUSXSIRIUS #SIRIUSXREMUS #HARRY POTTER SERIES #MARAUDERS #SPILT INK #SUGARPLUMS #Sweetest babes

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poetrusicperry · 3 years

Note

hello darling!! if you still need inspiration for the ship + headcanon thing here;

i'll try my best to describe myself, as that is my fatal flaw. i have green eyes and messy brown hair. my classic scent is marine water and driftwood. im a entp, aquarius, and slytherin. i use the pronouns she/her. i'm extremely stubborn, i have a good sense of humor, and i love learning. i also love to argue/debate, and i'll do anything to win [even if I'm wrong, but i'm never wrong ;)]. i probably need glasses, but i'm too stubborn to ever admit it. my favourite hobbies are reading, writing, researching, baking, and playing sports. i love learning about all types of mythology + astrology. i have a knack for history, and i'm super into foraging, although I don't get to practice it much! i would describe my aesthetic as a mix of academia, cottagecore, and goblincore. i have an extremely flirtatious personality, even when i don't mean to come across that way. my friends say i have an old soul- they also say i'm a nerd but we don't talk about that. i was on our schools honor roll, and I received two other awards, one for my academic achievement and one for my leadership skills. i am a die-hard romantic, although i'm the person you least expect it from. hopefully this information will suffice, and i'm particularly interested in whom you think would fall for silly old me.

thank you for the inspo, my dear !! i hope you like these; it got pretty late and i kind of ran out of creative energy toward the end, but i still hope it's okay <3

ship:

i have this feeling that’s telling me to ship you with cameron, so i’m shipping you with cameron !! you guys both seem to have strong personalities, but i think you’d both bring so many things to the table, there would never be a boring day between the two of you (:

hcs:

baking with pittsie and meeks !! pitts would actually try, and be pretty good, but meeks would be pretty… lackluster. it’s okay, though, because meeks and the rest of the poets (who would somehow stumble into the kitchen when they heard the timer go off) would be great taste-testers

legendary debates between you and charlie. i mean seriously, these things would take all night, and in the morning there still would be no conclusion. cameron would find you guys passed out in the common area with a bunch of notes scribbled into notebooks

you and cameron would also like to debate, but things never got as heated as they did between you and charlie. you and cameron really only debated to practice actual debating, and you’d both give each other constructive criticisms and stuff

your hesitation/laziness to get glasses didn’t really affect you… except when you got seated far away from the board and would be squinting your poor eyes out to no avail.

any one of the poets would be cool with you copying their notes

you and charlie would have this weird flirtatious thing that cameron was always a bit …? about, but you and charlie were both just naturally more flirtatious, so when you interacted it was pretty 😏

neil would always ask you to run lines with him, because you wouldn’t let him stop until he had a good portion memorized; you kept him motivated and he admired how driven you were in everything you did

you and pitts doing a research project on frogs completely for fun, but learning a whole lot about amphibians in the process

sweaty, tiring soccer games between you and the poets, where you’d play until long after the sun had gone down and the flood lights came on (you, charlie, neil, and todd can’t separate the bfs vs pitts, meeks, cameron, and knox)

exchanging poetry books with todd and neil, kind of like your guys’ own little library between the three of you

joking around with cameron, even when he was trying to study (you wouldn’t stop cracking jokes until he laughed)

blurb:

after getting in a small argument with cameron about a conversation you had had with charlie, you had left cameron’s room and gone back to your own. it was frustrating to you because no matter how many times you told cameron that you and charlie were just friends, there was always the smallest bit of tension surrounding the subject. you could understand why cameron would feel upset or threatened by charlie, but you didn’t understand why cameron felt the need to bring this up time and again. for a couple days you didn’t hear from him, nor did you feel inclined to talk to him. charlie kept his distance, too, but neil and todd came and hung out a bit. in the study area, you, neil, and todd were sitting on one side of the room, and the rest of the poets were on the other side. you paid no attention to the other side of the room, not once looking toward them (though cameron kept looking at you, and even disappeared for a bit before coming back).

“you guys don’t have to sit here with me… i don’t want to make anything weird between you and the other boys,” you’d say, flipping to a new page in your notebook and glancing up at them.

“we want to, don’t worry,” neil smiled and gave you a reassuring look before turning back toward todd to help him with latin. when dr. hager told everyone to pack it in for the night, you collected your things and headed straight to your room without even a glance behind you. when you got up into your room, you dropped your books on your desk, and went to flop down into bed when a folded up piece of paper on your pillow stopped you. sighing a little bit, you unfolded it and read the contents,

“i’m really sorry that i keep making the same argument happen. it’s never my intention, i think i’m just self conscious sometimes. there are a lot of things i’m good at, but being open and confident in certain social situations is definitely not one of them. it’s not your fault, and i’m really sorry. i don’t like not talking to you; these past few days have sucked. and i haven’t been able to focus on anything. i’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, okay? please don’t stay mad at me. i’m really sorry.

love,

cameron”

soon after, you had learned that the boys had helped him write the letter, and that while he struggled with intimacy and girls sometimes, it didn’t mean he didn’t care.

#dps #dps headcanons #richard cameron #dead poets society #richard cameron x reader #angelina writes

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tuancore · 3 years

Text

Lost You (Part 14) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Angst

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

You could feel your entire world collapsing before you, oxygen leaving your lungs, suffocating you to death. It was a horrible feeling, your body was crying for oxygen to let you live, but you had absolute no reason to. As much as it killed you inside you were going to meet ends by killing yourself from outside as well.

As soon as your eyes shut close, you felt yourself falling into some sort of black hole, getting sucked from within. Thats it, you are going to leave everything behind and rest in piece, you thought.

________

The doctors operated on you restlessly for hours, Jinyoung stood outside the operation theatre his face already pale and puffy from crying. All he prayed was for you to be safe and to come back to life, To him, To your love, To where you belonged.

The doctors were finally done operating on you after two and a half hours.

"Doctor, how's she? She's fine right? Nothing happened to her right—" Jinyoung clouded the doctors with multiple questions his fingers intertwined together. Exhaling a short breath, they replied "Mr. Park, we managed to save her..but if she—".

"If she what doctor?" He shouted impatiently, "You See.....Mr. Park we have to wait till she gains consciousness until then we can't say anything clearly, let's just hope for the best, now if you excuse me" The doctor excused himself leaving Jinyoung behind, crying to himself.

BamBam approached him, embracing Jinyoung in his arms, rubbing his back, "Hyung, Noona will wake up soon. Don't worry, she's the strongest".

"But BamBam what if she never wakes up, what if I lose her?" Jinyoung panicked, grabbing his hairs harshly "I can't lose her Bam, I can't, how will I even breathe seeing her in this condition?".

"Hyung, Hyung....please calm down, nothing bad will happen, have some faith in her, she won't leave you", BamBam tried to assure him, "If anything she loves you, she'll not go anywhere leaving me, leaving you, any of us".

And just like that it's been two months and you still haven't opened your eyes. Seeing your lifeless form before his eyes were burning and eating Jinyoung alive, he felt so helpless for the first time in his life, even if he gave up all his money and his soul he won't be able to wake you up. All he was required to do was pray and wait for a new day to bring the possibility of you waking up.

"Oppa..." The voice made Jinyoung turn his head around, while he sat beside your ward bed on a barstool holding onto your cold hands securingly, "Minyoung, You here? Not having work today?".

"I do have work but I wanted to visit Unnie first, that's all" She smiled, staring at you, "Oppa, I just hope she wakes up soon, it's been so long. It's kind of hard to not have her around and I want you to be healthy Oppa, you're neither eating nor sleeping properly. Do you think unnie will be happy seeing you like this?".

"Yeah, you're right...." He turned to face you, his heart hurting everytime to see your hands getting pierced with syringes and that oxygen mask which was keeping you stable, " But Minyoung, I'm healthy don't worry, as long as she's by my side, I'll be okay ".

"Where's BamBam?" Minyoung asked, "I thought he would be here".

"BamBam? He hasn't visited for two to three days, anyways why are you asking about him?" Jinyoung asked back, raising his brows in curiosity.

"Stop with that suspicious upfront" Minyoung laughed hitting Jinyoung's shoulders playfully, "Lisa unnie was worried about him, he hasn't been answering her phone calls".

"Lisa hmm, there's nothing to be worried about he's busy with things at the studio, tell her not to care about that dork that much. Yugyeom is there with him" Jinyoung laughed, "Oppa if he's with Yugyeom it's 110% confirm that they'll cause some trouble, for you all to wrap up later, it's so casual for Lisa unnie to get worried".

"I know, I know. Salute to Lisa for bearing with BamBam's annoying ass" Jinyoung grinned, at the thought of Lisa always running after BamBam with the amount of headache he gives her.

"Aigoo it's already, 11:47. I guess I'll be on my way to the clinic, see you Oppa" She hugged Jinyoung gently, then after facing you again, "Unnie wake up soon, we're all missing you a lot".

"Please baby, please come back to me, with every passing second, I'm losing a part of myself" He sniffed, reminiscing the times you both have spent together, "Remember baby you always scolded me for not helping in household chores, and that one day you'll leave me if I didn't start being a good boyfriend, helping you with those. I'm sorry...." He sobbed kissing your knuckles, "I'll do whatever you'll ask me to, I promise. I'll do the dishes, I'll do the laundry, I'll clean the washroom. Anything, I'll keep you like the princess you are....all you have to do is come back to me. Please....I love you. Please".

"Bam the hell are you doing?" Lisa growled through her phone, making her boyfriend shudder in fear, "I'm sorry Lili baby I was busy".

"Busy? What kind of busy? That you haven't answered my calls for three days, not even a single message", she continued ranting while BamBam bit his bottom lips nervously, glancing at Yugyeom every now and then who was busy drinking his chocolate milk, "Baby...I'm just busy at the studio with some mixtapes, it's been exhausting lately. I promise I'll call you from now onwards, don't worry too much, hmmm?".

Sighing loudly, Lisa mumbled "Okay, take care, by the way Bam".

"Yes Lili?".

"Just go and visit the hospital, Minyoung told me that Jinyoung's condition is also worsening, it's not good for his health", She explained, tone laced with concern, "Lisa, hyung hasn't been himself since the day Noona— I'll spare myself some time and go there".

"Sounds good, and one more thing. I'm coming back in five days" Lisa contained herself from squealing. BamBam's face lit up at the news, clutching his phone tight he grinned widely, "OMG! Finally! You've been stuck at Rosé's place for three weeks now, that's enough for her".

"Yeah, but it's definitely not enough. I'm cutting my visit short because my childish boyfriend is being a nut".

"Hey! What do you mean by a nut? I'm the coolest you know so it's definitely you who's a nut" He bragged, dabbing again. Yugyeom let out a scoff walking out of the room.

"And I'm the hottest okay" She chuckled lightly, "Yeah yeah a very hot nut though, Lisa come back soon I miss you", he muttered lovingly.

"I miss you more Bamie".

________

The work and everything started getting the best out of Jinyoung, he was ditching meals and sleep continuously. He ran from office to hospital and then from hospital to office without any fixed schedule. Everyone requested him to get some rest at home, Yugyeom and BamBam even suggested that they will keep an eye on you. But Jinyoung was not satisfied with any of that, if he wants to be with you, Then he will be with you. His words were solidified in concrete.

Except for today, everyone planned on not letting Jinyoung step inside your ward until and unless he attends today's meeting. The investor was giving up a huge amount for the project and Jinyoung's company can't miss on this.

"You guys sure that this will convince Sir to attend the meeting?" A blonde lean boy one of Jinyoung's employees asked, chewing his fingertips, "Of course! Hyunjin don't worry. Noona means the world to Jinyoung hyung, he'll even walk to the moon just for her sake, so chill", Yugyeom encouraged Hyunjin who was still not so sure.

"Please hyungs do anything, but please please convince Sir to lead on this meeting. He has been rescheduling this meeting for weeks and I don't think that the investor himself have that much patience" Hyunjin explained desperately, "I do understand that he's here for ma'am he cares for her, he loves her but job is also important. Please convince hi—".

"Shut up! He will go with you, just stop with your blabbering" BamBam shouted, irritated hearing Hyunjin's pleadings since then.

BamBam and Yugyeom proceeded with their plan by locking your room's door from inside not letting Jinyoung in, "Hyung! You'll get to see her after the meeting only!" BamBam shouted from inside holding onto the knob tightly.

"BamBam that's not fair! You can't do this I swear I'll break the door if you don't open it!" Jinyoung snarled from outside banging on the wood. "Stop banging loudly, Do you want Noona to get disturbed?" BamBam's words made Jinyoung stop and sigh in defeat, "Fine I'll go....".

"Good choice, so we'll be waiting for you right here after few hours...." BamBam smiled waving a bye from the little glass hole in the door, "Few hours" Jinyoung repeated sadly not wanting to leave you even for a second.

"After you Sir" Hyunjin spoke for the first time after Jinyoung's arrival. He nodded after capturing your form, grabbing the file from Hyunjin's grasp walking towards the exit flipping through the pages, with Hyunjin following behind.

Yugyeom and BamBam passed a thumbs up towards Hyunjin, mouthing "Told you".

Unlocking the door, BamBam and Yugyeom plopped themselves on the couch. Both of them already tired from sweating day and night at the studio, but they knew that someone has to look after Jinyoung because he has completely lost himself.

Suddenly your heart rate monitor started to beep sending a panic wave through BamBam and Yugyeom. They jumped to their feet running to examine you, your breathing was highly unstable even though you had the oxygen mask.

BamBam stayed with you while Yugyeom rushed outside to call a doctor to check on your not so good seeming state. Your chest heaved up and down due to your erratic breathing, your lungs suffocating you.

"Noona... Noona...." He called out desperately, "Nothing will happen to you Noona...", BamBam pulled out his phone ready to dial Jinyoung's number but stopped at the thought of Jinyoung being in the meeting.

"Doctor please...do something it looks like she's getting short of breath" Yugyeom barged in along with the doctor, she immediately stood beside you, checking your pulse rate and heart rate.

She injected you with some medicine, then again leveling the monitors after awhile your breathing was back to normal. BamBam and Yugyeom almost had a cardiac arrest, if it wasn't for the doctor to have you stable again.

"What was happening to her?" BamBam asked the doctor, "She's fine right?".

"Don't worry she's good, and I think she'll wake up soon" She smiled at both of them, before walking away.

"Gyeomie...." BamBam whispered facing him. Yugyeom nodded with a smile, "Yes yes I heard, Noona we're waiting".

Your head started throbbing with pain, almost unbearable, you tried opening your eyes but squinted them with the ache, tears filling your eyes. You heard someone calling your name voice laced with shear panic.

"Noona!" With the last call out, you opened your eyes, panting and sweating heavily as if you've ran a marathon, "Calm down, calm down..... Everything is okay, you're okay. Slow down, breathe in, breathe out".

"BamBam...." You whispered, through the mask. Later catching the proper rhythm of breath, still with your head throbbing you managed to rotate your eyes across the room. Hospital.

"I didn't die?" You mumbled which was audible enough for BamBam and Yugyeom to hear. "Noona, stop saying things like that. You're safe and sound. Nothing happened to you by god's grace", Yugyeom snapped, shaking his head.

You didn't dare to ask about Jinyoung, not that he has left your mind or heart, but the slightest thought of him pained your heart, neither did Yugyeom or BamBam were bothered enough to bring Jinyoung up.

Later the doctors performed few tests on you to make sure everything was normal. Fortunately the reports were declared normal and that if you wish you can get back home as soon as possible.

"Shouldn't we call Jinyoung hyung and let him know about her?" Yugyeom asked BamBam, "We should but not now, he's still in the meeting and if we informed him right now, he'll leave that meeting in between and hurry here, which we don't want..." BamBam explained, waiting for doctors to shift you back to your ward.

Thanks to the medicines, due to which your headache completely vanished, you still felt light headed almost floating in the sky, legs wobbly, breathing heavily. The doctor handed you a pair of clothes for you to change from that hospital gown.

"This...." You asked the doctor confused about the clothes which you were certain belonged to you, hesitantly taking the dress from her hand. "The young man who's with you kept these clothes just in case and see it was fruitful", You nodded your head mind thinking about BamBam since he was the one with you meanwhile the doctor clearly referred to Jinyoung.

"You can walk..." Yugyeom uttered examining you from head to toe as you walked with the doctor. "Of course I can, I didn't break my legs".

"So wanna go home?" The doctor asked you with a humble smile, "If you want you can, I'll just arrange the discharge papers".

"Will it be okay to take her so soon, like she just woke up?" BamBam asked worriedly. "Everything is fine, you can take her home. She'll get proper rest at home".

Sitting at the backseat of BamBam's car you stared outside of the window, it was already evening with the sun almost setting while BamBam sat on the driver's nseat with Yugyeom beside him.

"Noona Jinyoung hyung isn't at home, he's busy in some meeting, so no one would be at home, if you want I can take you—" Cutting BamBam in the midway, you sighed in frustration, "I don't want to hear anything about Jinyoung Bam! Just take me somewhere else but not to him".

Yugyeom and BamBam locked eyes in eternal confusion and shock, "What do you mean by not to him?".

"I just don't want to see his face, I don't wanna go back to him".

"But Noona he—".

BamBam held Yugyeom's arms shushing him, "So I'll take you to Youngjae's place then...".

Eyes widening you shrieked loudly, "Youngjae's place? BamBam have you both completely lost it. Why would I want to go to that bastard's place, he's the reason why me and Jinyoung are having problems".

"What do you mean?" Yugyeom cut in curtly.

"I know Youngjae is the one responsible for mine and Jinyoung's relationship to end so brutally!" You snarled clenching your fists, your nails almost digging into your palm's flesh.

"I know you both knew this, then why would you want to take me to his place?", You asserted your pitch rising with every word.

"Because he's your bestfriend" Yugyeom and BamBam announced in unison. Your face falling at their words, pondering over it, a sharp pain shot through your head making you groan in pain.

Part 13 // Part 14 // Part 15

______________________________________

#got7 imagines #got7 jinyoung #got7 x reader #jinyoung imagines #got7 angst #got7 bambam #got7 jackson #got7 jaebeom #got7 mark #got7 youngjae #got7 yugyeom #jinyoung angst

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dc-ships-nstuff · 4 years

Note

Hey, are you doing dc ships? Can I have one?So, first of all, I am afraid of love, I mean, I want to love someone, but I don't want to have my heart broken because I am too intense, and I feel that if I one day my heart broke, it willnever rebuild.I have a really intense feel of live.I want to have a coffe shop in France, help the kids that are in places with war, write a book, live in Japan. I want it all.I am sensitive BUT I will not show my feelings, just in extreme. I am a croissant lover ha

HI! It’s me, ris, and i just logged into this account, right after sending your ask over here. And i just want to say that i read all of it and:

I also read “I want it all” and i immediately thought of this video and hehe but no joke your ask really spoke to the depths of my soul BUT that’s not why you sent the ask. You want to know who your dc soulmate is and im going to tell you that rigth now:

Ugh i cant do this. I want to say tim drake but i also want to say dick grayson and they both fit so nicely but that’s expected so im going to say.....

wait. Before you read this you NEED TO WATCH THIS VIDEO.

Okay you watched it? let’s do this.

I ship you with Jon Kent. And the feeling is STRONG because i fucking love Jon more than like i love myself and i also ship him with damian (its complicated ill get to that in another post) and I just- if you don’t know who he is, he’s this baby.

Anyhow, as for WHY.... it’s not even close to simple:

- I was going to ship you with Dick Grayson because he’s kind and he’s soft and he has dark edges and he’d be really kind and anyone else might feel like stepping on eggshells around you, but he wouldn’t. He’d dance around the ‘eggshells’ and he’d be happy. With you.

- I was going to ship you with Tim Drake because he has that adventurous soul. He (as well as dick but ok) has that want to help everyone before himself. He will unconciously give out and exhaust himself, and he just will keep doing that until he... can’t anymore. Except Tim Drake doesn’t work like that. Helping everyone except himself is what keeps him going, and he knows that. He’s scared that if he stops, he won’t survive that one.

- But i relented to Jonathan Kent because I feel like on means, I saw him grow up (not even close to true) and you reminded me a little bit of him and anyways not only do i want to say thank you for that but also sorry because its kinda weird for me to ship him with a girl (i only see my gay disastrous boy but he’s CaNoNiCaLlY sTrAiGhT so ha.)

- He’d be the cutest boyfriend, and no im not saying this because our team as shippers we feel obligated to, but because its true. The starting of the relationship would be slow and not exactly steady. ANd by slow i mean SLOW. And you and I, as well as Jon, we understand that. It’s fine to go slow in a relationship. It’s even preferrable to go slow. So it’s going to be like really weird and there’s going to be a weird feeling and tension and thats fine. He gets that and he’s not going to be the ‘trying to impress you until you give in’ nor the ‘ask you out countless times’ nor the ‘follow you around’ but he’d be really patient and sweet.

- he always keeps a tiny piece of paper in his pocket. He’s very protective of it and you don’t know what it is and you’ve asked quite a few times and its AWFUL because he wont tell you. You might think its the number of some other girl, but those are just your fears talking to you.

- In reality, that tiny scrap of paper is a mini project you both had made as a joke. It was all his idea, to make you write down your life goals and aspirations. He keeps it in his pocket, and tucked in his uniform (turns out damian had sewn a pocket into his cape- awwh boyfrien- i mean... YOUR boyfriend hehe)

- He has become so attached to that piece of paper, he pays more attention to it than he does to you. He plans out little things and he tries to make all those dreams and aspirations come true.

- Have you ever tried really shitty croissants?

- No?

- Well now you will because Jon really tried to make croissants but he sucks at baking so they taste like rock.

- You guys do hair masks in the weekends. It’s not him doing it with you, but you doing it with HIM.

SO. I know it’s not that much, and summarized it’s like three jots so sorry but i hope you liked it haha.

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r3b3lgrrrrrrrl · 5 years

Text

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 75)

"Pitts✈LA✈Philly"

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@lovemythsworld

@crystalbaby12

📷 manip cred @southsidequeenie

Colson wakes up groggy on the back of The Bus. Reaching for Luna with his eyes still closed, he's irritated when he remembers she's not there. Pulling his phone out, he looks to see if she called or anything. Nothing.

"She's always off somewhere...." He sighs, thinking to himself. Appreciating that Luna's independent but also feeling a bit lost himself when she's gone. Finding her was like growing an extra limb. When she's not near, his body has a phantom ache for her. "Lemme hit her up." He decides.

Shooting her a quick Snap, he sees his laptop sticking out of one of his bags. He pulls it out and digs through his red LV travel bag. Finding the things he wants, he settles back onto the bed.

Popping the flashdrive in that Luna gifted him for his birthday, he opens the file.

Sliding his hand down his pants, he starts stroking his cock in anticipation. Colson jerks off to himself fucking Luna for the first time. Watching himself with her. How they move and talk with each other. Her dominance and submissiveness, driving Colson to the brink. Throwing himself back, he explodes when his mind wanders to her warm mouth sucking his dick the morning she had given it to him to watch.

"God Damn, Loons..." He thinks of his future wife as he chuckles to himself.

Still sexually pleased by her. Even 3K miles apart.

-------------------------------------------------

Landing at LAX there's an unseasonable chill to the air. Luna pulls on a soft gray sweater. Knocking her bandana off. Shoving it into her bag, She pulls out a pair of sunglass.

Hopping an uber to Frannie's, she notices a Snap from Colson. He looks miserable.

"What an Asshole..." She laughs to herself. Snapping him back with sass and love.

--------------------------------------------------

"OH MY GLOB! OH MY GLOB! OH MY GLOB!! OH MY GLOB!!!! Paris burts out, squeezing Luna.

Luna having told her and Frannie about her engagement. P let's her go, wanting to pop a bottle, asking Frannie if she has champagne. Luna and Frannie laugh as they hug and Frannie gives P directions. Still holding tightly onto Luna. Her bestfriend's a bit cynical and rightfully so, considering her own current divorce.

"I'm so happy for you!" Frannie gushes to Luna.

Knowing her Soul Sister all too well, Luna pulls out of the hug. She winces a bit, forgetting to take any pain meds for her gunshot wound.

"What was..." Frannie goes to ask.

Luna interjects. "Buuuutttt....??" She asks with eyebrows raised.

"But don't make the same mistake I did. I don't care how much you love him. Get a prenup. At least for your family's history." Frannie sighs, advising from knowledge.

Luna pulls her back into their hug. Squeezing Frannie tight. She had half expected this.

"I hear you, Frans." She says softly in her ear.

Both girls squeeze each other. Over a decade of love, life, pain and understanding passing through them. The pop of the champagne bottle startles them as they break apart, laughing.

"LOONS IS IN LOOOOOVE AND GETTING MARRIED!!!!" P shouts, handing glasses off.

The three bestfriends cheers and laugh together. Luna asking to keep it kinda low key until she tells her grandmother and Colson his daughter. Her two friends nodding.

The girls have lunch. Talking and sharing champagne. Admiring the sweetness of her ring. Luna telling them the plan to get married in TownHall before the first weekend in August. Inviting them to both the intimate affair and the weekend rager. Frannie and Paris laugh at Luna's usual unconventional way of doing things. Excited about the festivities. They share a joint before Luna has to go. She has a performance with Ashley tonight.

The three bestfriends hug when Luna's uber arrives. Congratulating her again. Giving her Love and Kisses with their See Ya Soons.

-------------------------------------------------

"Spill it." Paris says to Frannie once they've waved Luna GoodBye. "It's just quick. We seen 'em together, what? Once? And we were tripping balls. Everything's glorious when you're tripping balls." Paris throws her arm around Frannie's shoulder as they walk inside. "Then let's hang out with em. AND." She snaps the fingers of her free hand. "We gotta start planning her birthday party soon. Soooo... We're gonna need to talk to him anyway." P makes very valid points with her grin. Heading inside Paris can't help but ooze for her friend. She loves Luna and she love Love. Pulling up an old picture of them, P Congraulats one of her bestfriends on the sly. Or so she thinks.

"The peanut butter to my jelly. The Rock to my Roll. I love you and am over the moon!!!

💖🎉🎡🤘💫✨😍"

---------------------------------------------------

The Boys are in Philadelphia staying in Rittenhouse Sq. Right in the heart of the city. Colson, Slim and Baze have friends who live off of Lombard. Ashleigh hangs back, glad to be rid of their madness.

Walking over Colson gets a Snap from Luna.

Laughing, he plucks a flower off a bush. Popping it behind his ear. Grinning as he Snaps her back.

"What up, Dawg!!"

They're greeted by their friend Tyree. Finding LaMar in the kitchen rolling up. Its Dark and Hell is Hot blares through the Philly condo. Cracking beers, slamming shots, they burn and catch up.

Soon heading to Cheerleaders, a stripclub/sports bar close by.

------------------------------------------------

"You got something you wanna tell me?" Ashley blurts out to Luna.

"Well, Hello to you too, Pal." Luna responds laughing.

"Why's Paris BooLoven' you on Insta?" Ashley questions her.

"Seriously? What's it say?" Luna sighs.

"Nothing really but that she loves you and is Over the Moon" Ashley air quotes.

"Okay... Listen, I didn't call you because it literally happened last night and I wanted to tell you in person today..." Luna begins to explain.

"Okayy..." Her bestfriend peers at her.

Holding her phone in her hands so that Ashley can't see her fingers, Luna continues.

"Colson asked me to marry him last night." Luna tells her.

Stunned, Ashley says "Noooo..." With wide eyes. "What did you say?" She asks.

Luna shrugs before breaking into a grin. "I said Yeah."

Ashley squeals, grabbing for Luna's hand. Looking at the contraption on her left hand.

"What is this shit?" She asks bluntly.

Laughing, Luna explains how he forgot the ring but made her one out of his guitar string. And to shut the fuck up because she loves it.

"No... That's really... REEALLY You&Kells." She laughs, grinning.

Ashley pulls Luna in for a tight hug. Congratulating her bestfriend, telling her how happy she is for the couple. They link arms as they head to the stage to rehearse for tonight. Talking wedding plans along the way.

--------------------------------------------------

Cheerleaders is loud. Colson paying more attention to the Indians game than the girls.

Slim noticing the difference. Still his normal goofy, loud self, Colson interacts with the girls, talking and signing autographs but declines them on his lap.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Mar notices it also.

"He's getting maaaarried...." Baze teases Colson.

"YOOO!??" Ree flips around entering the conversation. "Tell me it's to that sweet piece of ass you did Bad Things wit!"

"Who???" Mar jumps back in.

Colson laughs, pulling a picture of Luna up on his phone. It's a simple sideshot of her.

"Damn, she got more tattoos than you do, Son!!" Mar exclaims.

"She looks like a fucking badass, Homie. How your lanky ass score that??" Ree busts Colson's balls.

"She knows what it is." Colson smirks.

Slim, Baze, Benny and Rook burst out laughing at him.

"Yo. LunaTic will fuck you up, Kells!" Rook calls him out.

Slim turns to their friends, explaining how Luna does NOT take anyone's shit. Including Kells. Joking that in the last two months that she's been around, he's seen her open more cans of whoop ass than Stone Cold Steve Austin could've ever ordered.

The Guys laugh hysterically at Slim's reference. Benny, Rook, Baze and Colson knowing it's true.

"Yo! So, you got a RIDA!? When we gonna meet Mrs. Homie?" Mar asks.

"She's in Cali right now performing but she'll be back before tomorrow night. Come to the show. We'll kick it after." Colson tells them.

Both men nod in agreeance. Wondering about this LunaTic who seems to have tamed such a Wild Boy.

They carry on drinking, laughing and teasing Colson.

--------------------------------------------------

"HOW YOU FEELING, WAZZMATAZZ?" Ashley asks, stalking around the stage.

She's the Headliner of the concert. Opening with Now or Never, Colors and Eastside. She nails a stripped down version of Closer before bringing Luna out.

"I SAID HOW YOU FEELING!??" She screams to their roars. "I did a song with my bestfriend. It's currently sitting at #1. And I'd like to think that it's because it's the truth." She continues, adjusting her earphone as she walks the stage. "All art is based on some sense of truth, and if our art is number one, it's because WE'RE NOT THE ONLY TWO PISSED OFF!!" She screams to the energetic crowd. "So I've got her with me tonight. The ONE, THE ONLY, THAT BROOKLYN FUCKING BIIITCH!!" Ashley screams introducing Luna to the venue's explosion.

Luna comes out in a plain white tank and black skinnies.

"Did I hear people are pissed off?" Luna asks excitedly as she comes onto the stage. "FUCK right we are!!!!" She bellows to the audience's screaming agreement. "Let's show 'em how angry!!" She shouts looking at Ashley as the opening chords play.

Both girls begin to bounce with the melody, swinging their arms and legs wildly. Ashley blasts into the opening chorus as her band nails the chords. Fire exploding in the background.

🎶I🎶

🎶Keep a record🎶

🎶Of their wreckage🎶

🎶And their lies🎶

🎶We're starting to recognize🎶

🎶The weapon in our minds🎶

🎶They talk shit🎶

🎶But we won't take it 🎶

🎶This time🎶

🎶As I realize🎶

The band drops out as Luna comes in strong. Unyielding.

🎶I'm out for blood🎶

🎶And it won't be sweet🎶

Ashley's band picks back up as Luna sings. Bouncing and jumping around the stage, using her hands to express her points. Dipping low to touch fan's hands.

🎶Tired of having the rugs🎶

🎶Pulled from beneath our feet🎶

🎶Done trusting lies🎶

🎶Done trusting Men🎶

🎶Picking each other up🎶

🎶And putting ourselves🎶

🎶Back together again🎶

The masses chant with her. Growing louder as Luna calls out Society's standard of women. Luna dead panning certain lyrics.

The Girls cross paths, tossing their mics to each other as they hit separate corners of the stage.

🎶Come on Little Ladies🎶

🎶Give us a smile🎶

🎶No we ain't got nothing🎶

🎶To smile about🎶

Ashley and Luna rip through the lyrics as the lights pop and smoke billows. Belting together how they don't owe You a God Damn Thing.

Ashley kicks back in hard with the chorus. The stage explodes again with fire. The crowd venting along with the two bestfriends.

🎶I🎶

🎶Keep a record🎶

Ashley continues as her and Luna bounce and jump across the stage. Grinning and tossing each other satisfied looks as the crowd rages with them.

It's a volcanic experience as Ashley and Luna dance and sing across the stage with each other. Filled with passion and genuine resentment.

🎶I'm no sweet dream🎶

🎶But I'm a hell of a night🎶

Ashley taunts before Luna slides in.

🎶No I won't smile🎶

🎶But I'll slow you my teeth🎶

🎶And I might let you speak🎶

🎶If you just let us breathe🎶

Luna squats, bouncing up and down. Singing her lyrics. The Band dropping so Luna and the audience can scream together.

🎶We're tired and angry🎶

🎶Digging up The Hill🎶

🎶So scared🎶

🎶Is what you should be🎶

Luna and Ashley come face to face taunting the other to smile. Telling each other there's nothing to smile about. Fire igniting and lights blaring as they let loose about how they don't owe anyone a God Damn Thing.

Ashley singing about keeping a record of all wreckages and lies. Firing exploding as the two artists bop around the stage, screaming about injustice.

Playing and pushing off the other. They really are a force to be reckoned with. On and off stage.

The keytar comes on solely as Luna and Ashley hit MidStage together. The loud room singing with them claiming Luna's heart's desire.

🎶Women like me🎶

🎶Can be real nightmares🎶

🎶Completely aware🎶

🎶But I'd rather be🎶

🎶A real nightmare🎶

🎶Than die unaware🎶

🎶Yeah🎶

🎶Women like me🎶

🎶Can be real nightmares🎶

🎶Completely aware🎶

🎶But I'm glad to be🎶

🎶A real nightmare🎶

The Girls both kick their limbs out while changing the last lines. Luna dipping down in front of her.

🎶So, save us🎶

🎶Your fucking Prayyyyerss!!!🎶

Before slaying the chorus together. Bouncing, grinning, bopping and jumping as the floor ruptures on fire around them with crowd.

Watching them, the two bestfriends are magnetic. Knowing each other's range, limit and place. They perform together as if they were back in Luna's bedroom. Jumping off of props instead of beds. In hindsight it's a beautiful thing to see how far they've both come. Never losing their core.

Grinning at each other, they storm into the chorus with the crowd. Thriving off each other on stage. Tossing mics as they pass, dropping them to signify certain lyrics.

Finishing the chorus together, Ashley goes first as The Girls hit separate corners of the stage.

🎶I'm not sweet dream🎶

🎶But I'm a hell of a night🎶

Luna singing after her. Ending the song.

🎶No, we're no sweet dream🎶

🎶But we're a hell of a night🎶

Coming back together, the bestfriends laugh and thank the crowd before Luna heads off.

Luna FaceTiming Sean as Ashley closes out the show with a hitting performance of Without Me.

"Heeeyyy!" She grins into the screen.

Chuckling, he asks what she wants. Luna explains how she's at WazzMaTazz. Ultimately, asking if she can borrow his jet tonight to get back to Philly for Colson's show tomorrow.

"What's in it for me?" The business man asks.

Luna laughs at Sean, replying that he'll have the pleasure of not feeling her foot up his ass.

"Alright, alright... You little Brooklyn Bitch..." He agrees with a laugh. "When you need it?" He asks.

"Uhhh.. Gimme like 2-3hrs?" Luna asks.

Diddy agrees, telling her he'll text her the details. Thanking him graciously, Sean warns her to stay out of trouble. Shaking his head as she smirks that she'll try, they say GoodBye.

Hanging up Luna sees she has a Snap from Colson.

She opens it, thinking of how much she loves him.

Once Ashley's OffStage, they hang out with the other performers. Luna especially enjoying her conversations with Fletcher and Ellie Goulding. Luna being fans of theirs and vice versa.

Before long, Luna's saying her GoodByes. She's off to the hanger. Flying from CA to PA. Across the country for the second time in less than 24hrs.

-------------------------------------------------

The Adderall finally wearing off, Luna's feeling the weight of the day. She pops two 30s and sips on an Old Fashioned.

Sleeping for most of the 6hr flight. She arrives on the East Coast as the sun begins to rise. Luna has to look at her phone to figure out what day it is. Surprised that it's Tuesday.

------------------------------------------------

Finally at the hotel, Luna takes a quick shower. Managing not to wake Colson until she wants to.

Crawling into bed with him, Colson's on his back. Luna kisses his cheek. Then his jaw. Down his neck to his collarbone.

He starts to stir as she lightly drags the tip of her tongue down his body. He doesn't have any clothes on. Luna kisses the top of his mound, his short pubes tickling her face.

Kissing his inner thigh, Colson reaches for her. Running his hands through her blonde hair. He calls out her name with a groan as she swirls her tongue around his hard cock's head.

Taking him in her mouth, Luna sucks Colson's dick, sliding and her gently twisting her wet hand along his base. Letting her free hand roam his body.

It being early in the morning and her suction firm and steady, Luna only needs to deep throat Colson a few times before he oozes into her mouth.

Both satisfied with her work, Luna swallows his load before washing her hands and climbing back into bed with him.

Laying on his chest, Colson strokes Luna's hair as he asks about CA. She gives him the details of her day. Him talking about how she'll meet Tyree and Lamar tonight.

They come up with the idea of flying Casie out to NY on Friday. He's thinking lunch with her, Patti and Emma. Telling them all together. Luna thinks it's a smart idea. They drift off together, cuddling.

Don knocks on their hotel room door around 11A. He doesn't bang anymore.

---------------------------------------------------

To be continued.....

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dekudynamight · 5 years

Text

Title: Worth Waiting For part 6

Rating: E

Pairing: Sebastian Stan x Jon Kortajarena, Sebastian Stan x Chris Evans

Word Count: 2.7k

Summary: Sebastian makes his confession to Jon, and it doesn't go as expected.

A/N: Aaaahhhhh thank you guys so much for the amazing response to this fic thus far! You're all amazing and I love all of you and I hope you like this 😃I'm excited for the next chapter after this one and have it started already so stay tuned! 💙

For the next three days, Sebastian went through the motions of life under the weight of his crushing guilt, and he kept it all to himself. He talked to Jon daily as usual and did his best to hide it, doing a damn good job and blaming what little Jon did notice on being tired. He wasn't a great liar but all he was trying to do was hide it until he could confess in person. There was no way he was going to just move on with life like his kiss with Chris had never happened - it would eat him up inside until he couldn't take it anymore.

So he sucked it up and carried on, boarding his plane to London at the end of those three days and spending the entire flight rehearsing his planned speech in his head. He agonized over it, hoping to God that Jon would at least listen and let him say everything that he needed to, but if he threw him out and sent him back to New York Seb wouldn't blame him. He was prepared for all possibilities, but he hoped it wouldn't prove as terrible as he feared.

When he arrived Jon was there to greet him, having just wrapped up a day on set of a movie he'd landed a small but compelling role in. He pulled Sebastian into a hug and kiss and Sebastian suspected a few people snapped pics of their reunion but he didn't care. He put on a brave face and smiled as Jon led him and his luggage to a car that drove them just a few minutes across town to Jon's hotel, and Sebastian was relieved that they'd be alone soon. If he didn't get what he'd done off his chest soon, he was sure that he'd simply just explode.

They had just gotten inside Jon's room and had the door shut behind them when Jon took his luggage from Seb and set it aside, wasting no time in invading his space with a sweet, warm smile and reaching to cup his face with a lowly whispered, "I've missed you, mi vida."

Then he kissed Sebastian with all the pent up love and passion he'd been reining in for three weeks, and Sebastian could feel it in his very soul. It broke his heart and made him feel whole again all at once, a barrage of confusing and overwhelming emotions making him forget about the confession he'd been so eager to give. He melted against Jon and fell into the kiss, having missed the man so much that it was easier than breathing to be pulled back in by him so quickly.

Sebastian didn't snap out of it until Jon started tugging his jacket off, their kisses turning hungry and scorched until Sebastian broke away with a heavy breath. Hands on Jon's chest putting some distance between them he whispered, "Wait, wait."

"Why?" Jon murmured, trailing his lips to Sebastian's neck and making his eyes roll shut.

"Jon, please, I mean it," Sebastian forced out, and Jon pulled away in an instant.

"What's wrong?" Jon asked, surprise and concern etched on his features as he looked Sebastian over.

Sebastian took a deep breath and felt his stomach drop, dread and fear filling him now that the moment had arrived at last and he'd rejected his only way out of it. He clenched his jaw and dropped his eyes, trying to remember the speech he'd planned but now that the time had come... it was all gone. Suddenly nothing felt like the right thing to say and he wished that he could just disappear.

"Sebastian," Jon said quietly, reaching up and touching his cheek. "Are you all right?"

"No," Sebastian admitted, taking his hand and pulling it away. He forced himself to look Jon in the eye and muttered, "I... I don't know how to say it. I fucked up."

Jon furrowed his brows slightly. "What do you mean?"

Sebastian took another breath, feeling ill and terrified but giving himself no choice but to come out with it. "Couple nights ago, um... Chris, he... he showed up drunk at my door. It was late and I was stupid and I let him in and I know that I shouldn't have, but I did and..."

Sebastian trailed off and watched as his words sunk in. Jon's expression shifted from confusion to understanding and then... he wasn't sure. Disappointment, maybe, but not the anger that he would have expected. "You... did you sleep with him?"

"No," Sebastian replied immediately, a little too adamantly. "He kissed me. And I didn't... I didn't stop him. I kissed him back and then when I realized what I'd done I pushed him away and freaked out and made him go, but... I did it."

Jon looked him in the eye until he was finished, and then he dropped his eyes and took a long, deep breath. Then, as Sebastian watched with bated breath and a chest full of anxiety, Jon nodded and seemed to be inwardly debating something. Sebastian watched and waited until he couldn't take it anymore, blurting, "If you want me to go I'll go. I just... I wanted to tell you in person. I'm so sorry. I'm a piece of shit and I fucking hate myself and -"

Jon, aghast at Sebastian's words, shook his head and shocked the other man by pulling him into a hug that was far more comforting than Sebastian felt he deserved. "No, no, Sebastian," Jon murmured. "Don't say that."

Sebastian buried his face in Jon's shoulder, hot tears springing to his eyes. "But it's true," he muttered. "You've been so damn good to me and you deserve so much fuckin' better."

But all Jon did was shush him gently and then lead him to the king sized bed in the suite, sitting him down on the side of it and sitting next to him, keeping his arm around him and placing his other hand on Sebastian's face. "I'm not angry, Sebastian."

Sebastian blinked and sniffed back his tears. "What?"

"I'm not angry," he repeated gently.

"... How? I fuckin'... I cheated, Jon. And with him."

Jon shook his head. "You love him," he stated gently. "I can't change that."

"But I love you," Sebastian insisted. "I swear I do."

"I know you do," Jon assured him. "And you love him, too. It's okay."

"No it's not," Sebastian argued softly. "I hate it. I hate what he does to me and how the second he shows up I just fuckin' lose it. I'm a piece of -"

"Sebastian," Jon interrupted gently, "It's okay to love more than one person. And you are so... sweet and full of love and have so much to give. I would never want to change that about you - it made me fall in love with you."

Sebastian's heart throbbed with pain, his guilt growing immeasurably worse thanks to Jon's seemingly utter lack of anger. He wasn't happy about it but he wasn't mad or particularly frustrated either, and the lack of a conventional response left Sebastian completely unsure as to what the hell to do with himself and his feelings.

"Why don't you hate me?" Sebastian asked quietly, and Jon winced as if the question physically hurt him.

"I've told you before, mi vida - I could never hate you."

Sebastian couldn't help but cry even more at those words. Jon pulled him into another hug, whispering comforting words into his ear and running soothing fingers through his hair. Within a few moments they ended up laying in bed together, shoes and jackets off and Sebastian curled up in the safety and warmth of Jon's arms. His head was on Jon's chest and Jon comforted him until the tears finally stopped coming and his breathing evened out.

Sebastian was exhausted from not only his flight but also from the outpouring of emotion that he was still grappling with. It was surreal in a way, Jon being so sweet and understanding despite what Sebastian had done, and Seb just... could hardly comprehend it.

"Are you sure you're not mad?" Sebastian asked quietly, peeking up at Jon.

"At you, no," Jon replied. "But Chris... he plays with your heart. What he does to you is cruel."

"He doesn't mean to be," Sebastian said, his knee jerk reaction to defend Chris at all costs still very much alive and well. "He just..."

"You make excuses for him and always have. You shouldn't."

Sebastian let out a breath and lowered his eyes, closing them as he snuggled deeper into Jon's chest. "I know. I'm an idiot."

"He is the idiot," Jon chuckled.

"Yeah." Sebastian paused. "But I love him."

Jon kissed his forehead. "But you love him."

Sebastian looked up at him, eyes earnest and honest. "I love you, too."

"And I love you," Jon replied softly, leaning down and placing a soft kiss on his lips.

".... What do we do?" Sebastian asked Jon in a whisper, at a loss for where to go from here.

"Whatever makes us happy," Jon shrugged. "And you make me happy."

"You do, too," Sebastian insisted, meaning it with everything he had in him.

"Then we will figure it out," Jon assured him, kissing him one more time, and somehow despite his guilt, shame, confusion and inner turmoil... Sebastian believed him.

He might never fully believe that he was worthy of Jon's love and forgiveness, but he was grateful more than words could ever begin to say. He wished that his love for Jon would just push his love for Chris out of his heart and into the past, but instead they coexisted for better or worse. He loved them both so damn much and he couldn't imagine that ever changing.

What the hell were they gonna do?

----

The next morning Sebastian awoke to soft, tender kisses on his neck and gentle hands roaming his body, Jon coaxing him into what proved to be the best makeup sex Seb had ever had. A part of him still felt like he wasn't worthy of such pleasure but Jon went to great lengths to convince him otherwise, and Sebastian loved him all the more for it.

The rest of his trip passed by pleasantly and all too quickly, the two men enjoying each other's comforting company and making a few public strolls together. They both had to deal with a lot more paparazzi since coming out but it was a part of life and it rarely bothered them. What did bother Sebastian, however, was the nagging little voice in the back of his head wondering how Chris was doing and if he was seeing the pictures as they hit the Internet. Sebastian wanted to reach out and make sure that he was okay, that he wasn't hurting after what happened, but silence had lapsed between them again and he just didn't know how to proceed.

Sebastian flew home at the end of his trip conflicted and worried but relieved that he and Jon were still together despite his lapse in judgement. Soon after he jetted off to LA for a new film and, for the time being at least, left his problems on the back burner in favor of work. It was a bandaid really but he was used to it.

Three weeks into filming, Jon's project wrapped up and he had a week free to visit Sebastian in LA. He packed up and flew his way, stopping for a layover at JFK that left him waiting for an hour and a half before his next flight began boarding. He grabbed lunch and coffee at one of the restaurants and sat at a table towards the back as he made a few phone calls and texted Seb to keep him updated as to his ETA.

Everything was going perfectly smoothly until he finished his food and happened to glance up at the right moment and noticed a particular patron at the counter waiting on his order. Jon wasn't sure at first until the man turned his head a certain way, better displaying a bearded jaw that a NASA hat and sunglasses couldn't hide, and then Jon knew beyond a doubt who the man was. He took a deep breath and looked away, wondering what kind of ridiculous sense of humor the universe had to cross their particular paths on that particular day.

Then again, maybe the universe had a good reason for it.

He got up and headed to the front of the restaurant, quietly disposing of his now-empty coffee cup and walking the short distance to where Chris stood. He took a deep breath and hesitated only for a few seconds before reaching out and gently tapping his upper arm. Chris immediately swiveled around and, upon making eye contact with Jon, immediately performed his best impression of a deer in headlights.

".... Hi," Chris blurted, eyes wide and mouth hanging slightly open. Jon, not as much of a saint as he seemed to be at times, couldn't deny the little bit of satisfaction he got from Chris' clearly panicked reaction.

"Heading home?" Jon asked quietly, glancing around them to ensure that nobody was watching them or paying them any mind. They weren't.

"No, Atlanta," Chris replied, visibly perplexed by the casual line of questioning. He seemed to just go with it, however, asking next, "You?"

"Back to LA. Sebastian's waiting for me."

Chris stared at him, anxiety sealing up his mouth for once and leaving him speechless. Jon watched him squirm for only a few seconds before letting out a breath and throwing him a bone.

"I know what happened. He told me weeks ago," Jon told Chris, whose brows quirked in surprise. "We don't keep secrets."

"Listen," Chris muttered after swallowing nervously, tone as quiet as possible, "I never meant to -"

Jon held up a hand to silence him. "I don't know what you mean to do. You are always playing with him and coming and going as you please, and he deserves better than that."

"I know," Chris replied, visibly and audibly pained. "And I'm sorry. To both of you. I had no right to do what I did. It won't happen again."

"I think it will," Jon shrugged slightly. "He loves you too much to ever say no to you. And you - I don't know what you want from him but I don't trust you."

".... I wouldn't trust me either," Chris muttered, clearly ashamed. It was all in his blue eyes, plain as day for anyone to see. "I don't wanna fuck you guys up anymore than I already have. I'll leave him alone."

"That's not what I want," Jon shook his head. "I want him to be happy."

Now Chris was really confused. He gave a small shake of his head and furrowed his brows. "What do you mean?"

"He needs you, I think. I can't change that. But unless you stop being a coward and using him whenever you feel like it, you'll never deserve him or his time."

"I'm not trying to take him from you," Chris blinked, unsure of how to take Jon's words. "I just..." he paused and trailed off, eyes averting aimlessly. "I miss him."

"Maybe you should stop missing him and start earning his love," Jon suggested. "Stop breaking his heart."

".... Don't you hate me?" Chris asked, bewildered. "I don't understand."

"I don't hate anybody," Jon shrugged. "Not even you."

A pause of silence passed between them, and then with all the sincerity in the world Chris finally murmured, "I'm sorry."

Before Jon could accept the apology, Chris' order was called out from the counter. He glanced over his shoulder and then back to Jon, who simply moved his hands into his pockets and said, "Have a safe flight, Chris."

"You too," Chris replied, eyes still bewildered as he watched Jon walk away and out of the restaurant.

Nerves now shot, Jon felt the nagging need for a cigarette start to grow as he began heading towards his gate. He hoped that Chris would listen and put an end to this nonsense for Sebastian's sake, whatever that ultimately meant for him and Jon. Whatever came of them in the end, so long as Sebastian was happy and had what he wanted, that was enough for Jon. That was how love was supposed to be - selfless, unconditional.

And maybe not always limited to one person and one person alone.

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