#The Northman spoilers

[lordbelacqua]

THE NORTHMAN (2022) dir. Robert Eggers

#the northman #filmedit #moviegifs #dailyflicks #filmgifs #cinematv #filmtvcentral #chewieblog #userbbelcher #userstream #userfilm #userthing #userspot #*** #the northman spoilers

[dailyflicks]

THE NORTHMAN (2022) dir. Robert Eggers

#filmgifs #moviegifs #fyeahmovies #userfilm #userbbelcher #usersavana #jokerous #userpavlova #usermandie #tusershay #tusertha #userjack #tuserdana #the northman #the northman spoilers #2020s #action #adventure #* #by airam

[magnusedom]

You must choose between kindness for your kin, and hatred for your enemies.

THE NORTHMAN (2022) dir. Robert Eggers

#filmgifs #moviegifs #fyeahmovies #userbbelcher #userfilm #useroptional #usertelevision #userclayy #underbetelgeuse #userjasmine #usertom #usermandie #userlindir #tusertha #tusershay #duchessofhastings #usermaya #the northman #the northman spoilers #*mygifs

[space-blue]

The Northman — film review by yours truly

I cannot stress enough how gorgeous and visionary this film is. It is a cinematic experience like few others. It's story telling at its best, even revisiting such a well trodden story.

Amleth = Hamlet = Lion King = Revenge on bad uncle.

We all know how it goes, and yet I was on the edge of my seat the entire time. Eggers managed to bring such a vivid world to life that I was lost in the culture and its influence on the characters and left with baited breath waiting for each plot beat to present itself.

Do NOT go watch this movie if you struggle with intense violence and gore. It's seriously R rated. It has cut noses, swords slowly pushed through heads, decapitations, spilling guts, intense beatings, human sacrifices, dead kids... It has too-realistic viking pillages that don't shy away from the horrors that implies, and the most true depiction of the slave system the Norse depended on ever put to film. If you're so-so on gore, as I am, I can guarantee you that it's usually well telegraphed, and you can look away most of the time. The worst is off screen.

Honestly, I recommend it anyway.

One of the most incredible elements, as usual for Eggers, was the blending of reality with myth, visions and beliefs with every day life. He truly managed to make these people feel alien—as they should. They practiced human sacrifices and had berserkers, ffs, they are alien to us now. And Eggers just nails it! You see rituals, visions, and a people doggedly set to fulfill their preset destinies, without ever blinking at the lack of agency or free will it implies.

Everyone seemed to operate by these ancient rules, only half shown and hinted at, reconstructed from what we know and can guess... And it made for a world I could touch and taste and feel lost in. I've not been so engrossed in a movie in a long time.

Eggers managed to make his depiction so unflinching, he somehow shot the most intense revenge porn since killbill, and the best viking movie ever, and still glorified neither violence, nor vengeance... nor vikings.

The story feels surprisingly not all that character driven. The dialogue isn't Shakespearean, but it has a strange, ancient lilt to it, keeping you from connecting with anyone fully. It made me feel like a time traveler. I still felt quite strongly for Olga and Amleth... But there's so much to peal back from the characters, even when they have few lines. There's so much sweet meta...

This film is an oddity. It's so atmospheric, so terrible, so gorgeous... It's too much. Also. OmG. Sweaty Claes Bang tiddies... Too much indeed.

I think it's a masterpiece. My rating still goes The Lighthouse > The Northman > The VVitch, but I'm basically an Eggers fangirl for life at this stage. The man can do no wrong. He said he'll return to indie films after this, but I'm grateful to the studios that decided to trust him with this wild ride anyway. It'll become cult, even if it bombs.

*sigh* just go see it. Go see this strange, odd film that somehow proves cinema isn't dead.

Also it has Willem Dafoe in a loincloth, barking. Like, that and Claes Bang's bare butt, IDK what else to tell you to sell you on this genius film!

Oh wait, yes, ETHAN HAWKE nude and barking on the ground with Dafoe. Like. I'm telling you it's wild and you need it in your life.

#the northman #robert eggers #Amleth #alexander skarsgard #claes bang #nicole kidman #Olga #the northman review #the northman spoilers #film review #gushing #anya taylor joy #ethan hawke #willem dafoe #more like #willem dafriend #film

[bereft-of-frogs]

Did I go to the movies tonight? Yes. Did I see Doctor Strange? No. I saw The Northman again.

Head empty. No thoughts.

Only volcano fight.

#we were supposed to see the Batman but when we got there I was just not feeling it #I wanted to immerse in the Northman vibes again #I’m seeing doctor strange tomorrow with another friend who couldn’t make it today #I don’t think there’s going to be a volcano fight. so that’s already sad #the northman #the northman spoilers #I’m sure doctor strange will be fine but no volcano fight 😔 #also I could watch the first Valkyrie scene like 100 more times damn it’s so good

[moondarkens]

Your strength breaks men’s bones. 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐮𝐧𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐬.

#■ mine ( graphics & gifs ) #■ she didn't ask to be beautiful ( mirror ) #the northman spoilers #s h e

[shyarowana]

The most relatable character in The Northman is the sword that snoozes all day and is ready to binge eat all night. 

#The Northman #The Northman spoilers #The Northman 2022

[jinglebellrockstars]

shoutouts to the northman for having the most accurate portrayal of mothers ive ever seen on film

#izzy.txt #the northman #queen gudrun #spoilers #the northman spoilers

[krippe90]

Spoiler probably but Anya Taylor Joy in The Northman is a true ride or die bitch. Amleth’s like “yo turns out my moms a crazy bitch too, I must kill everyone she loves” and she’s like “word to big bird, what’s next?”

#The Northman #The Northman spoilers

[moonlight-prose]

watching the northman rn and i'm barely ten minutes in but the king is beheaded. rip to ethan hawke you were a real one.

#i am already obsessed #the northman #the northman spoilers #in case some of you haven't seen it #witch aunt watches the northman #witch aunt talks✨

[portraitofadumbassonfire]

#films #a24 #lady bird #barbie #the northman #the lighthouse #the witch #robert eggers #little women #beau is afraid #us jordan peele #nope movie spoilers #beau is afraid spoilers #alexander skarsgard

[harrywavycurly]

I just wanna say I’m mad at y’all for not telling me to watch True Blood sooner. Y’all have just been keeping this man who makes doorways look tiny, can rock a tracksuit better than anyone I know, can cover my whole face with just ONE hand and thighs that could kill a man, to yourselves this whole time? How rude.

#i get it but also I’ve loved the Skarsgard men for so long shame on me for not watching it sooner knowing Alexander was in it lol #but like also I’m only on season 6 so no spoilers please and thank youuuuu #eric northman #alexander skarsgard #true blood

[lamey-amy]

Has anyone made any True Blood/Succession jokes yet after finding out Matsson has sent liters of his blood to his ex?

#i know theres a joke there somewhere #succession spoilers #succession #lukas matsson #eric northman #true blood

[maulthots]

That last post about the Northman was better at convincing me watch it than the 30 sec YouTube trailer showing Skarsgards abs I keep seeing. A monologue abt what you say? A comedy?

:/ look. It's a Drama Filme. But here's the thing. To me, it's very bad and very funny. There's a big umbilical cord tree. People bark like dogs, a lot, like imagine what "a lot" is and add more. Alexander Skarsgard is like, thank Odin for menstruation, or whatever the fuck. Theres a mostly naked fight on an actively exploding volcano. If I had a nickel for every time I saw Alexander Skarsgard's bare ass as he fucks a weird blonde pixie lady on a pile of leaves in the middle of the forest, I'd have two nickels, but it's weird it happened twice. Big little lies casting makes sense. It felt like the longest movie of my entire life, and it's only 2 hours long.

I am just scratching the surface here. #spoilers.

#northman spoilers #anonymous #answer

[falllpoutboy]

got to see both alexander skarsgard be sexy in the northman and wanda die in MoM today

#dsmom spoilers #dsitmom spoilers #she had it coming! #and i got to treat my mom woo 🥳 #anyways go watch the northman everyone

[evilasiangenius]

Recently as recommended by a @ivan13467​, I watched The Northman.  Cut for spoilers.

Amleth: Am I worthy?  Will I enter Valhalla?

Valkyrie: Hell yeah, that fight was sick, bro.  Coolest fucking fight we've seen in ages! Fjölnir: Wow, so this is really awkward...

#northman #the northman #alexander skarsgard #spoilers #spoiler alert #spoiler without context #silliness #shitposting