#Ultra Magnus vore

[sillyromance]

Good day everyone!

Some predcanons (Pred!cybertronian/Prey!human) for transformers who I really like. Hope you'll enjoy!

TFP

1) Optimus Prime

This gorgeous, big Autobot leader would be quite gentle and careful with his prey. I think the main motive for him to swallow someone down would be a wish to protect them, especially if it comes to defending Jack, Raph or Mico. If he has time, he will definitely explain why he is doing it and how safe it is, so the person won't get frightened; in another case, Optimus will talk to the human inside him straight away after the danger is gone and stroke his middle a little to comfort his small friend who would be truly scared after being suddenly tossed into the mouth of a giant robot. Also he surely would be glad to help you with insomnia or bad mood, keeping you safe and warm in his soft, spacious fueltank (of course, if you give you permission). As for Prime's emotions, I suppose he would feel awkward walking around his team mates while having someone inside, although it would never stop him from chatting with his prey from time to time to be sure they're fine and rubbing his "stomach" in reassurance. He likes having his friends so close to his spark, loves how they taste and move in his tank, but he would never say it out loud because it's too personal information in his opinion.

2) Ratchet

Sweet, grumpy medic is very worried about his human friends' health and safety, so I think he would be the one who uses vore as panishment for those who skip sleep periods or put themselves in risky situations too much. At the same time, he would be a brilliant comforting pred who never fails to help someone escape the world when it's really necessary (especially if it comes to Raph). He would mentally prepare the person he's gulping down before everything happened because as "an emergency vehicle" he knows exactly what would scare them. While swallowing, this autobot would trace his prey's path through his tough body and sigh in relief when they fall in his fueltank; the little one would always feel some pressure of a giant hand from the outside which would pat and massage them, checking if everything is OK. Ratchet would be glad to be given some caresses from the inside too; he would smile wide if he did, surprising everyone around with soft and oddly loving face expression. But the bot would never admit he ate someone even to his friends (only to Optimus perhaps) because of deep embarrassment which he hides behind a perfect "poker face".

3) Ultra Magnus

This autobot is a severe type. He wouldn't let just anyone random enter his insides; this is unspeakably ridiculous for him. Showing someone the most fragile part of the body, his soft spot! Please! Are you crazy?.. However, if he has no other choice (his human combat is badly injured, unconscious or there is a threat of being captured for them) he will hide them within his body without any hesitation. Meanwhile, when the things are normal, he would be an unwilling pred; only a human he is really attached to, like a lover or the best friend, would be allowed to go down his fueltank. This way he would express the highest level of affection and trust he has for this person. In this case, his favourite time to do that is right before recharge when no one can see him and his soul mate; all lights are gone, there are just two of them. Magnus silently opens his mouth and puts his darling in, then gently swallows, concentrating on a stretching, wiggling weight which travels along his esophagus. When it reaches its destination, he lies on the berth, closes his optics and holds both servos on his middle, feelings his friend settling in. That all would be a casual, but important act between him and someone he cares about so much that even he can't deny it.

TFE (Earthspark)

1) Megatron

Ex-leader of the decepticon is undoubtedly a teaser who will bring you close to his carmin eyes and grin, intentionally showing his sharp dents, every time it comes to sending you down his throat! Although his jokes are never offensive for a prey. He gets a lot of pleasure from the whole situation and tries to prolong it as much as possible. At the same moment, Megatron would never do anything that could make his human friend uncomfortable; and the funny comments he gives to the prey always finally turn into some kind of appreciation of their taste, warmth, shape, delicate skin, how good they feel deep in his core etc. Like Optimus, he is very protective. As for his behaviour among transformers and humans, he wouldn't be bothered by their presence nearby while he's carrying someone inside him, but he wouldn't let anyone know until it's necessary 'cause he clearly understands how freaky it would sound. He is not a talker, but the prey would always feel that he remembers about them by small, light touches from the outside and double-meaning phrases he sometimes drops in front of others.

As an addition: this mech would be happy to teach his friend's bullies a goood lesson (if there are any) by swallowing them and keeping this fools inprisoned for some time without any respond to their shouting and crying. Of course, Megatron wouldn't mean any real harm and he would let them out later, but at least the guilty ones would see their mistake quite clearly...

2) Bumblebee

I think this kind-hearted, optimistically-yellow autobot is a cuddle enthusiast. He wouldn't mind making vore a casual ritual to make bonds with his human friends even stronger. Moreover, it would give him some comfort to know that someone he cares about is hidden in a place no one can reach without crushing Bumblebee himself apart first - what is not that easy! His spark just melts when it comes to inner rubbing - it inevitably sends shivering through all of his systems when tiny hands move across his sensitive fueltank's metal "flesh"... He doesn't mind multiple "passengers", but it's simple to make him sick by moving too much, so at the start Bee always asks for being cautious and still inside him. If someone questions him about the person he has swallowed, young autobot will calmly tell them the truth (and stop this poor fellow from panicking after); usually he is OK with his other friends to be aware about the situation (nevertheless if he was asked to keep everything a secret he undeniably would). Bumblebee is very comforting, thoughtful and caring pred, but there are times when he needs attention as well - so, for him vore is a kind of comfort and relaxation too.

#soft vore #safe vore #extreme cuddling #tfp vore #transvoremers #earthspark vore #ratchet vore #Optimus Prime vore #Ultra Magnus vore #tfe vore #transformers vore #Megatron vore #bumblebee vore

[pinkanonwrites]

I wanna talk about human kink too!

(1) Since female discharge contains acid sometimes, do you think some mechs would be able to taste it? Imagine their delight when they realize their human can taste differently every week.

(2) LINGERIE! Not only our 'armors' are super soft and flimsy, there are specific variations of it for kinky times. I forgot who wrote it but there is a headcanon of several mechs would totally use their human's clothe to jerk off with and Optimus was included in that list 👀

So yeah. The whole thing is an endless spank bank for them

I absolutely think so! Considering that the few things Cybertronians do eat tend to be metallic/acidic I can definitely see more than a few of them likening the taste to familiar treats like rust sticks and various energon goodies. I picture a bot (Autobot or Decepticon, it doesn't matter) bringing their favorite little human to the oil house, passing them around between friends like a blunt rotation so everyone has the chance to get a taste of their pussy.

@callsign-relic also has the delightful Tasty AU if you're into the concept of Bots treating humans like a delicacy, if you're more into the "soft vore" style of things. Not my cup of tea, but we aren't out here to yuck anyone's yum!

As for stealing a human's clothes (specifically underwear or lingerie) that's honestly a really big fave for me as far as TF fics and headcanons go. I've read a really good fic with Ultra Magnus, and @robot-horde has a great short comic with Cliffjumper and their OC here on Pillowfort! (I'm full of good recommendations today!) Other bots I think may go so far as to steal your underwear besides Optimus, Ultra Magnus, and Cliffjumper include Rodimus, Frenzy, and TFA Prowl.

#transformers #transformers x reader #x reader #valveplug #tf headcanons #nsft #links #fic recs #pink chat #themaskismyface

[tinydefector]

I would love to see some Rodimus soft vore, maybe with a bit of a language barrier?

Wild ride

Rodimus x human Reader

Word count: 2k

Warnings: smut, blowjob, macro/micro, Giant/tiny, Vore

11

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The human let out a loud yelp as Rodimus picked them up. Arms flailing around as they try to move and centre themself in his gasp, a slew of noises leaving them. As if trying to scold him. He had a habit of sneaking up on them and also taking them from the desk they tended to stay on.

 Rodimus, always looking for a good time, couldn't resist sneaking up on the human for a bit of fun. As he lifted them up, their flailing arms and panicked noises only added to his amusement. He chuckled mischievously, enjoying their scolding attempts. 

“Whoops! Gotcha again, didn't I? Come on now, no need to get all worked up. Just a little friendly surprise, that's all. Besides, you needed a break from that boring old desk, didn't you?”

He wiggled his eyebrows playfully, hoping to lighten the mood and make the human realize that he meant no harm. They let out another collection of noise as they are carted off by the Captain. They grumble and fidget in his servos as the two make their way through the ship. Ultra Magnus would have Rodimus helm if he knew he had taken the human again. But what the enforcer didn't know couldn't hurt him.

 Rodimus chuckled at the human's grumbling and fidgeting as he carried them through the ship. " Oh, come on, don't be such a grump! You know you love the thrill of it. Stop worrying so much. Besides, I promise I'll have you back at your desk in no time... maybe." He flashed them a mischievous grin as he continued to navigate through the ship back to his hub suite.

They squeal again as Rodimus flops down on his berth with them against his chassis. They squirm and try to get out of his hold, huffing and making small noises at him until they say his name. "Rodimus!" It's scratchy and crude but very much his name followed by more noises of protest.

" You really know how to make your voice heard, don't you? Alright, alright, I hear you. What's got you all worked up?" He loosened his grip slightly, allowing the human to squirm and shift in his hold. He tilted his head, trying to understand their protests. 

 A huff leaves them, but don't try to move away from him just sitting on his chassis as they stare into his optics with arms crossed. But they let out another squeak as he pressed his digits into their stomachs, cupping his servo around them. They were so soft in his servos.

 Rodimus couldn't help but smile as the human settled onto his chassis, arms crossed and staring into his optics. " Well, well, aren't you just a bundle of surprises? Soft and squishy. " His tone was playful as he teased them, but his touch was gentle as he held them, his optics gazing down at them with a mixture of curiosity and fondness. 

" You know, sometimes I forget how fragile humans can be compared to us Cybertronians. You're so cute and squishy. " he hums while gently pulling at their cheek with his digits. It earns him a small slam from them. "Hey, none of that, I'm even being gentle!" He huffs before giving them a small squeeze.

They let out a small whine as his digit presses under their shirt, tracing their tummy, leaning into the touch with a shutter. Rodimus's optics widened slightly, his digit tracing their tummy. He hadn't expected such a response, but it intrigued him. "Oh, so you like that, huh? Well, who am I to deny you some attention? " He continued to trace gentle circles on their tummy, his touch light and careful. "You humans really are fascinating creatures. So delicate, yet so responsive. So good for me, aren't you"

They gasped out as his digits teased the band of their pants, dipping down and tracing their hip bone. Small shutters leave them as they melt in his servos. One of their small hands grip his servo as their eyes meet his optics. Rodimus's optics widened further as he felt the human gasp and shudder under his touch, their hand gripping his servo. Their soft call of his name sent a jolt through him, a mixture of surprise and fascination. 

" Oh, Primus... " His voice came out in a low murmur, his gaze locked with theirs. In that moment, he couldn't help but wonder about the similarities between humans and Cybertronians. "You know, always wondered what you look like under all these coverings"

 He continued to trace their hip bone, his touch becoming bolder, his spark igniting with a newfound curiosity and desire to explore.  A collection of whines leave them as Rodimus slowly discards their clothing. Taking in their form slowly. tracing across their skin. "You're so small and soft," he mumbles. Rodimus's optics sparkled with mischief.

The longing in their voice sent a surge of heat through his circuits, igniting a deep desire to please and explore. "Settle, let me enjoy this, " Rodimus purred, his voice filled with a mix of amusement and desire. "I plan on savouring every moment with you." Rodimus leaned in, capturing their lips in a searing kiss. It's a very gentle kiss, metal lips slowly brushing against soft flesh as he holds them closer. The size between them makes it slightly awkward.

Small moans leave their lips as Rodimus's lips leave a trail of fiery kisses across their skin, eliciting small moans of pleasure from their lips, teasing them slowly. Their moans only fueled the desire burning within Rodimus, his optics flickering with a mix of delight and hunger for more. Their cries of surprise mingled with delight as his glossa traced a teasing path down their chest, sending shivers of pleasure through their frame.

He continued to explore their body with his lips and glossa, savouring the sweetness of their skins taste and the way their frame responded, Their eyes widen, moans spill from their lips as his glossa delved between their legs, his servos speading their thighs wide as his large mouth cupping around them eagerly sucking, Their hands grip his helm, pulling him closer. 

Rodimus's spark flared with desire. He spreads their thighs wide, his servos guiding their hips movements, as he delved between their legs with his glossa running long strokes across their them. They shutter in pure delight.

Their taste is intoxicating and divine, set his circuits ablaze with need. He eagerly sucked and lapped at their most sensitive areas, his mouth forming a tight seal around them, drawing every ounce of pleasure from their body.

Rodimus's optics met theirs, a mix of hunger, drove him to push harder, sucking harder on the skin of their thighs dipping his glossa further down.

They rock against his glossa, small pants leaving their lips,Rodimus's lips curved into a mischievous smile as he felt their body rock against his glossa, their pants filling the air with the sounds of their pleasure. He delighted in their response, relishing in how they fell apart in his servos.

They whine loudly as Rodimus pulls away, but the protest is cut short as Rodimus kisses down their leg. Their whine of protest was quickly silenced as Rodimus kissed down their leg, his actions a playful tease. With a deliberate slowness, Rodimus pressed their legs into his intake, The sound of their voice, breathless and filled with onky his name, further fueled his desire to have them all of them.

Their attempt to grab his helm has him chuckling and humming. Rodimus met their gaze, the hunger and adoration in his optics . He was determined to try something new. they were just the perfect size, and he couldn't help himself anymore.

their fingers gripped onto anything within reach, their pleading nosies echoing in his audials. He held them close, and Rodimus continued to lavish their body, his lips and glossa tracing a trail of fire along their skin. He moaned in response, the way their frame quivered with anticipation in his mouth has him leaking throught his interface panel.

His lips sealed around their stomach denta, holding them in place as his glossa delving straight back to work along their body, grinding them against his glossa. Another slew of sobbed moans fall from their lips as they buck against his glossa, They melt into each touch.

He guided them with precision, his glossa working them swiftly, eager to feel them overload. "Mmm, yes, come on baby, come on," Rodimus mumbles around their body, his voice laced with desire and satisfaction.

With each movement, each caress of his glossa, he sought to push them closer to the brink, to ignite a fire of ecstasy that would have them a babbling and trembling mess in his intake More moans follow as Rodimus's mouth closed around them, his lips forming a tight seal as he took them further into his mouth. Their moans of pleasure filled the darkness around them, their body riding his glossa in a rhythm of shared desire.

In the absence of sight, their other senses were heightened, and fear, panic, and pure desperation ran through their veins with every touch, every movement, and sent waves of pleasure rippling through their being. Fingers dig into the roof of his intake as they cry out.

They were lost in a world of sensation, a realm of pure pleasure that set adrenaline alight in their body, how easily he could just swallow them, Has them clenching and mewing. Their orgasm hits hard. Arousal running down Rodimus glossa.

Rodimus eagerly and greedily tightens the sucktion around them, drinking down as much as he can of their release, the taste of their arousal fueling his own desire. as their body trembled with the aftershocks of their climax, he continued running his glossa across their body, humming eagerly as he swallows every last drop he could rangle out of them.

"Rodimus, have you seen the human? They weren't in my office, and I can't seem to find them?" Ultra Magnus calls out. Rodimus's frame tenses as Ultra Magnus's voice cuts through the moment, freezing him in place. With their arousal still lingering on his glossa, he swallows hard, trying to regain his composure.

They choke out a cry as he swallows them, freeing up his mouth enough to talk. Their body getting wedge against the piping of his intake, fingers digging in deeper, fear taking over them, desperate not to be swallowed down further.

"Uh, Ultra Magnus," Rodimus stammers, his voice betraying a hint of unease. "I, uh... I haven't seen the human. Maybe they're in their quarters, they could... could be at Swerve's or out with some of the others, " he states, trying not to seem as flustered as he was.

He quickly tries to gather himself, hoping to divert Ultra Magnus's attention away. Ultra Magnus squints at him but eventually disappears from the doorway, making Rodimus let out a sigh of relief. Magnus had a habit of randomly appearing out of nowhere and spooking Rodimus. He hopes that Magnus will take his suggestion and search the human's quarters.

In the midst of the interrupted moment, Rodimus's shifts uncomfortably until he's sure Ultra Magnus is gone. The human squirm in his throat body being squeezed but the tight piping of his insides. Small squeals and babbled pleased fall from their lips, which makes Rodimus tense up, realising where they were. "Hang on, hang on, settle, your alright," he calls out, trying to soothe them.

He gently places a servo on his throat, pressing into the plating, applying pressure to prevent them from slipping further down while trying to soothe them with a soft, apologetic tone. "I'm sorry, just give me a moment. I'll get you out, I promise."

He leans his helm down, holding a hand under his mouth before relaxing and letting them slip forward back into his mouth and then out onto his hand. "See, you're not hurt, no need for all the panic, next time i might just swallow you leave you in my tanks for a hour" he states with a smirk while wiping their face as he checks them to make sure they are alright.

________________

Taglist: @angelxcvxc

#transformers #transformers x reader #transformers x human #transformers idw #transformers lost light #valveplug #rodimus #rodimus mtmte #mtmte rodimus #rodimus idw #transformers hot rod #hot rod #mtmte transformers #mtmte #tf mtmte #transformers mtmte #idw mtmte #idw transformers #tf idw

[callsign-relic]

Masterlist

Transformers Prime

Optimus Prime

- Optimus x GN!Human!Reader: Optimus knows you’ve been overworking yourself, and takes it upon himself to gently carry you to bed.

- Yandere!First Contact!Optimus x Fem!Human!Reader: After rescuing you from accidentally getting caught in the crossfire of a Decepticon attack, Optimus decides it’s safer if a poor, helpless creature like you stays with him from now on.

- ^^^ Sequel - Yandere!First Contact!Optimus x Fem!Human!Reader: As you finally awake, Optimus welcomes you to your new home— not that you ever agreed on staying.

Ratchet

- Ratchet x GN!Human!Reader: Ratchet helps comfort you after arthritic pains make it difficult for you to stay comfortable.

Arcee

- Arcee x Fem!Human!Reader: You help cheer Arcee up with some cuddles after she's been feeling lost in her thoughts.

Smokescreen

- First Contact!Smokescreen x Male!Human!Reader: Smokescreen comes across you at a street in the middle of the night, meeting his very first human.

Megatron

- Megatron x GN!Minicon!Reader: Megatron brings you into his thrall after you profess your loyalty to him and the Decepticon cause.

- Megatron x GN!Human!Reader: Megatron comforts his pet after you express to him that you’re having a rough time.

Starscream

- First Contact!Starscream x GN!Human!Reader: Starscream crashes your jet, and scours the wreckage for you.

- Starscream x GN!Human!Reader: Starscream realizes he's slowly falling for you, an unwilling captive of the Decepticons.

- Starscream x Fem!Human!Reader: After finding an injured Starscream hidden deep within the woods, you tend to his wounds-- much to his displeasure.

- ^^^ Sequel - Starscream x Fem!Human!Reader: Spending some time with Starscream, he discovers you've been making drawings of him.

- ^^^ Sequel - Starscream x Fem!Human!Reader: After you catch him by surprise, Starscream allows you to stargaze with him.

Knockout

- Knockout x GN!Human!Reader: Knockout admires your detailing work, and decides to bring you with him to the Nemesis. Not without thoroughly terrifying you first, though.

Breakdown

- Breakdown x GN!Human!Reader: Breakdown does his best to tolerate you as you annoy him with your constant affection.

Shockwave

- First Contact!Shockwave x GN!Human!Reader: Shockwave comes across one of earth’s many intriguing specimens, and decides to take you as a sample for his research.

More Than Meets the Eye/Lost Light (IDW Gen 1)

Rodimus

- First Contact!Rodimus x GN!Human!Reader: A six-part series where Rodimus spends just a little too much time with you, and you plan your escape.

- ^^^ Sequel - First Contact!Rodimus x GN!Human!Reader: Now that the two of you can communicate, you and Rodimus explore and establish boundaries with one another.

- Rodimus x Fem!Human!Reader: You cheer Rodimus up after he blames himself after coming out of a mission with you injured.

- Rodimus x Fem!Human!Reader: Rodimus is touched starved, and you give him all the affection he’s missed.

- NSFW | Vore | Rodimus x AFAB!Human!Reader: After an exciting night for the both of you, Rodimus has a unique idea for how he wants to ‘clean you up’.

- TastyAU!Rodimus x GN!Human!Reader: Rodimus spots you being sold in a street fair for “exotic creatures”, and decides you deserve a better home than that.

Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus

- Ultra Magnus/Minimus Ambus x GN!Human!Reader: Minimus struggles to process his feelings for you after you accidentally catch him outside of the Magnus Armor.

Megatron

- Yandere!Megatron x GN!Human!Reader: Megatron “rescues” you as the DJD attack the Lost Light.

- ^^^ Sequel - Yandere!Megatron x GN!Human!Reader: Tarn adjusts himself to your presence aboard the Peaceful Tyranny.

- TastyAU!Megatron x GN!Human!Reader: Megatron indulges himself in human tastes after not doing it for so long. He feels bad, but you just taste so good.

Ratchet

- First Contact!Ratchet x GN!Human!Reader: After stumbling across you, Ratchet deems it a good time to run a quick examination on you.

- First Contact!Ratchet + Drift x GN!Human!Reader: The pair of bots find you in the medbay battered and bruised, and debate what to do with you.

^^^ Sequel - FirstContact!Ratchet + Drift x GN!Human!Reader: The two bots try to find out just what it is you are, attempting to gain your trust all the while.

Swerve

- Swerve x GN!Human!Reader: You notice when Swerve begins to distance himself from the crew while keeping up a happy act, and you resolve to confront him about it.

- First Contact!Swerve x GN!Human!Reader: Swerve finally runs into a human after the Lost Light makes a pit stop on earth— and you’re that (un)lucky human.

Whirl

- Whirl x GN!Human!Reader: Whirl meets his very first human, and you have the (dis)pleasure of dealing with him.

- Whirl x GN!Human!Reader: After you’ve had a bad day, Whirl decides to try and help comfort you through the use of his holoform.

Rung

- First Contact!Rung x GN!Human!Reader: Rung adjusts to the fact that he’s tasked with taking care of you, and you become the Lost Light’s (un)official Therapy Human.

^^^ Sequel - First Contact!Rung x GN!Human!Reader: Rung can’t sleep, and you use your skills as the ship’s Therapy Human to make sure Rung feels loved.

Fortress Maximus

- Fortress Maximus x GN!Human!Reader: You run into Fort Max after not quite watching your step aboard the ship, and panic ensues.

Drift

- First Contact!Drift + Ratchet x GN!Human!Reader: The pair of bots find you in the medbay battered and bruise, and debate what to do with you.

^^^ Sequel - FirstContact!Drift + Ratchet x GN!Human!Reader: The two bots try to find out just what it is you are, attempting to gain your trust all the while.

Pharma

- First Contact!Pharma x Fem!Human!Reader: After stumbling across you in his medical lab, Pharma takes the opportunity to learn all about the oddities of human anatomy.

Transformers Animated

Jazz

- Jazz x GN!Human!Reader: You and Jazz have trouble saying goodbye as Jazz has to leave for a mission he’s not sure when he’ll return from.

Megatron

- Megatron x GN!Human!Reader: Megatron is looking for you, and he doesn’t care if he has to destroy a city in the process.

Transformers G1

Note: I do not write for G1 as I haven't watched it yet, but I was inspired to write one piece after watching an episode :)

- Skyfire/Jetfire x GN!Human!Reader: Skyfire rescues you after you find yourself lost in a heavy snowstorm.

- Vore | First Contact!Skyfire/Jetfire x GN!Human!Reader: Skyfire takes you back home, but has to quickly figure out how to hide you when Starscream comes by.

#masterlist #we're gonna ignore the fact that this is my third time making this #:)

[thanksjro]

Dark Cybertron Chapter 2: Going from Zero to Antichrist Real Quick

Bumblebee and his camp buddies are trying to figure out what to do with the Titan who just popped out of the ground like a prairie dog, as the sky looks like a Lisa Frank notebook thanks to the portal to the Dead Universe. It’s honestly very nice, we should should get more pretty apocalypses like this.

Bumblebee starts throwing out orders at everyone, much to Slag’s chagrin. When Slag brings up the point that they probably can’t do much of anything to a guy roughly a hundred times bigger than they are, Bumblebee tells him to shut up and do as he’s told.

Yeah, I had about the same reaction, Slag.

So the Dinobots do their thing. Swoop, who I think is the only guy here who can fly, goes up to see what the Titan’s doing. It’s not much, other than looking really upset. Oh no, what if he’s afraid of heights? Poor guy.

Even if the Titan isn’t moving, the mere presence of the thing is jamming signals, which is kind of an issue. Ironhide’s ready to shoot it in the foot, and Arcee will help, because she’s a team player now. Bumblebee has a minor crisis over whether this is the same Titan that told Starscream he was a prophesied son of a gun, but Prowl doesn’t seem to think that it is.

Prowl, who has been suffering from short-term memory lapses over the last several months or so because a bug-man was controlling his mind.

Yeah, let’s maybe take his opinion on the matter with a grain of salt, even if he is right.

Over at the Lost Light, Orion Pax is visiting Brainstorm’s workshop, where everyone’s favorite science man is admitting to having studied the Dead Universe’s effects on the living and interviewing people who had been to the area.

Man, I sure hope that guy signed a waiver, otherwise Brainstorm’s going to be in a spot of trouble.

Then we get a quick rundown of what the Dead Universe is: an omnicognizant parallel universe that functions on fundamental principles that differ from our own and wants you to die. So, obviously not a place you would want to go to. Still, we gotta, because that’s where the plot is the Dead Universe is gonna vore Cybertron if we don’t.

Brainstorm agrees to cook something up to make the trip through the Gorlam Prime portal easier.

Back on Cybertron, the Titan looms in the distance as we check in on an oddly pristine-looking Iacon. Rattrap tells Starscream to come out of the closet, because the Titan still hasn’t moved and doesn’t seem like it’s going to anytime soon. Starscream does come out, but it’s with his arms full of weapons of Autobot design that he appropriated from the ruins of Kimia, because he doesn’t trust that Titan to not start some shit. Rattrap suggests that they maybe get a second opinion before they start murdering people for standing in a barren field.

Back on the Lost Light, there’s a little shindig going down at Swerve’s, everyone staring down the table where Optimus, Rodimus, and Ultra Magnus are seated. Swerve takes the opportunity to do what everyone else is probably really wanting to, and snaps a few photos of them for his scrapbook. As soon as he’s done, we get to the Emotions portion of our issue.

Rodimus is letting himself be vulnerable in front of the man he idolizes, and I think that’s very brave of him.

Nobody’s feeling super great about the situation they’ve been presented with, but there isn’t a lot that can be done about it now. Just gotta work with what they got. Rodimus asks Optimus how he feels about Starscream being elected leader of Cybertron.

But I thought that freedom was the right of all sentient beings? You know, like the freedom of choice in our government officials, even if they aren’t the best option we could possibly have, because at least they’re better than the guy who had bombs planted in people’s heads for crowd control purposes? Are you saying that it only counted when the concept of freedom could be manipulated so you could go kick Megatron’s ass, and that actual freedom of choice doesn’t jive with your personal sensibilities as much as you’d like everyone to think it does? No wonder you’re going to try to overthrow the entire Earth’s government system to get humanity annexed into Cybertron’s bullshit in a few years’ time.

But perhaps this Starscream thing is actually the work of Megatron! What will Orion do then?

…I mean, do I even have to say it?

ORION, THAT’S GAY.

And I thought we’d already figured out what to do with Megatron back in “Chaos Theory”, where you spent three issues waffling on the subject until the man himself told you to execute him, because even he was sick of your crisis of self. The only reason you didn’t get to act on it was because Megatron disappeared after Vector Sigma blew up and then you fucked off into space without even bothering to check if he was actually dead.

But enough of Orion promising to kill/kiss Megatron, it’s time to see what Brainstorm’s cooked up. It’s not much, but to be fair, he’s only had a few hours to pull something together- our ship’s genius has made a few forcefield generators, using nothing more than some forcefield generators and juice he squeezed out of a bug. Science truly is amazing.

And I bet Trailcutter hates this invention too, for multiple reasons this time!

Cyclonus, who is looking especially purple today, agrees to join the excursion to the Dead Universe, even though it’s pretty clear he really, really doesn’t want to. Hardhead seems in better spirits than our resident space jet, though maybe that’s just bravado macho-man bullshitting on his part.

With our team put together, it’s time to jump out of the spaceship and into a place that quite literally wants them dead. But first Rodimus has a little chat with Ultra Magnus about his feelings. A lot of sharing this issue.

Magnus doesn’t feel fit to be in charge while Rodimus goes off to save the day and maybe die, because he doesn’t have that special something that makes a leader a leader. Charisma? The ability to think on your feet? The ability to see people as people and not numbers? Not having people know you’re actually a much smaller man running around in an Ultra Magnus suit? Whatever it is, Rodimus seems to think that it’s trumped by a mysterious something in his hand, and that Magnus will do just fine.

While Team -Imus goes into the murder reality, Magnus and the Lost Light will be going off to find Jhiaxus, because they need something to do while our protagonist and his absentee father go on their own adventure.

Back on Cybertron, Starscream’s visiting prison, and wants to talk to a very good boy without the guards overhearing. Jazz makes a very vague threat about what will happen if any harm comes to the prisoner, then steps away.

Let’s talk about how to sell toys for a second.

This issue of “Dark Cybertron” had a cover featuring Scoop, the very good boy I’ve mentioned before, because it was paired off with his Generations toy. We know from reading RID that Scoop is the leader of a group called the Construction Patrol, and he likes to help simply for the sake of helping. Sounds like a nice, if generic, character. How is this issue going to introduce people to him? Will he bust out of prison to save the day? Fight evil through heroic sacrifice? Do anything besides talk?

No, he’s going to tell Starscream he’s a herald of death that was foretold in the robot bible.

Yeah, that’ll move some fucking product!

This isn’t even the most batshit thing Scoop’s going to pull in this event, but it is what they decided to put in the issue that “features” him.

Over with Shockwave, we’re treated to some renewed friendships, as Nova Prime and Galvatron reveal that they don’t hate each other after all, but have a mutual respect based in subjugating those weaker than them.

I’m guessing this is a contrast to their previous relationship dynamic in older publications, but I’m not going back to comb through the likes of Heart of Darkness to check, because it really doesn’t matter.

There’s a bit of a snag in Shockwave’s plan to bring Galvatron and Nova Prime back to the Not-Dead Universe, as the space bridge in the Titan burnt up when it got there. Gee, that sucks. I guess all those “Prelude” issues about getting the Titan from Gorlam Prime were sort of a waste of time, weren’t they? Love it when I’m told I wasted my time reading motherfucking Ramondelli issues.

Speaking of Ramondelli, it’s Dead Universe time.

Sigh. Hello, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop. It’s nice to see you.

No, it isn’t. I lied.

I’m sorry, public domain pictures of space on the overlay layer option in Photoshop, this isn’t your fault.

So we’re here in the Dead Universe, and it’s looking pretty wild and crazy, though the characters are likely thinking this for a completely different reason than we are as readers. It turns out, the Dead Universe… is dying.

…MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM THAT’S SOME GOOD WRITIN’ RIGHT THERE

Also, Cyclonus has disappeared, not that anyone actually gives a shit, because they’re too busy dealing with the giant space leeches that just showed the hell up. Dang, why’s that happening?

…That only happens as a form of population control, or if the young in question are sickly and have a low chance of survival, not just because the mama rabbit got a bit peckish between lunch and dinner, you stupid fucking robot.

Half of this writing team won awards a couple years after this was published, I want you to remember that.

They fight the cyberwraiths for a bit, things look like they’re getting dicey, then suddenly they fuck off as Cyclonus shows up, probably fresh off the end of a goddamned panic attack because he’s back in the Dead Universe. Then he proceeds to vomit up some black energon. That’s a fun thing, glad you made me look at that.

Rodimus is concerned that one of their team members has got the Hollywood Tuberculosis cough, but Cyclonus doesn’t want his fucking pity. The fellas decide it’s time to get a move on, seeing as they’ve been here a grand total of 20 seconds and been attacked, so they need to get this over with ASAP.

As Team -Imus flies off in a ship I don’t remember them bringing along, someone decides that they’re going to stick their finger in that puddle of vomit.

Nightbeat you fucking idiot, there aren’t any sinks in the Dead Universe! Now your hand’s gonna be all gross for the entirety of this event! He’s not even analyzing it, it’s just on his hand! Why is Nightbeat having zero concept of personal hygiene a running theme in the things I read? Fuck!

You may be wondering what Nightbeat’s doing in the Dead Universe, or even where he’s been for a good chunk of IDW. We’ve seen him in flashbacks from before the war, but not during or after, least not within anything I’ve covered. So, what’s be been up to?

Fuck you, you’ll have to wait for a later issue to be told what Phase One bullshit you’ll have had to read to understand why this dumbass is here.

Back on Cybertron, Prowl is telling Bumblebee that he sucks because he’s not acting. I’m not exactly sure what he expects Bumblebee to do about the Titan who’s just standing there. It’s not like issuing a loitering ticket is going to do anything. Then the Decepticons attack them, among their ranks being the scariest fucking Ravage I’ve ever seen.

Why do you look like that? Rojo’s supposed to have the cutesy style on this team, why the fuck did he turn the kitty cat into one of the terror dogs from Ghostbusters? 

Anyway, that’s the end of the issue. Sure hope you’re invested enough in trying to figure out what the fuck Nightbeat’s deal is to snag Robots in Disguise #23.

#transformers #jro #dark cybertron #issue 2 #mtmte #issue 23 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

[unicronnomnomnomnomnomnomnomnom]

    “There’s no stupidly specific rules about signifying who we work for so, like, no one actually adheres to a symbol. Most don’t wear one at all. Heck, I’m still wearing an Autobrand, and I’m supposed to be the role model for all the undead idiots who drank something stupid on a dare.”

      “I don’t think there’s a consensus on what mark to wear. I guess that just means no one’s turned Ultra Magnus to the ways of Vore, considering how quickly this would give even a super-evil version of him a conniption.”

#text #ic: THE CONQUEST HERALD #also please no one ever do that #we don't need a task master or some guy who exasperates boss' weird rulesets

[driftroddy]

ur personality based on which tf character u stan

starscream: ya gay

megatron: you triple gay

soundwave: valid

shockwave: insufferable but overall decent

optimus: lawful good and gay

prowl: u like bitchboys and thats valid

arcee: valid lesbian

blurr: adhd gay

windblade: chaotic evil or lawful lesbian this is entirely dictated by if they ship starblade or not

chromia: powerful lesbian, i trust u with my life

drift: gay and very horny, u like goths and jocks

rodimus: ur gay and probably vape, also a jock

ultra magnus: has a size kink

minimus: lawful good, u care abut ships involving the old men tfs

ratchet: u like hot surly old men

brainstorm: disaster gay, usually a simpatico stan

quark: horny nerds who refuse to acknowledge hes ungly

perceptor: lawful horny or someone who unironically has a sapiosexual percy headcanon jesus hotdog christ

tarn: u wooby the djd a bit but overall ur good

kaon: ur still not over [redacted] but u’ll love him till ur dying breath

helex: vore

tesarus: im gonna be real i barely remember this fucker so hell if i know

vos: u either ship him with helex or tesarus cuz u have a size kink even tho the godtire ship is him and kaon uwu

nickel: you pried nickel out of sakamotos pedo hands and reclaimed her as ur own as god intended

whirl: chaotic chaotic a being or pure horny chaos energy

rung: horny very horny over the orange cuck stick hes ugly-cute but ya act like hes sexy

trailbreaker: [AARON PAUL SCREAMING.PNG]

ill add more when im not lazy

#disclaimer its jokes dont get angwy hsgfh #maccadam #transformers #robot.txt

[brokeneisenglas-writing]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Optimus Prime/Tarn, Orion Pax/Tarn, Megatron/Ultra Magnus, Megatron/Minimus Ambus, Perceived one-sided Megatron/Optimus Prime, Megatron/Optimus Prime Characters: Optimus Prime, Tarn, Megatron, Ultra Magnus, Minimus Ambus, Hot Rod | Rodimus | Rodimus Prime, Ratchet (Transformers), Kaon (Transformers), Vos (Transformers), Cyclonus, Senator Shockwave (mentioned) Additional Tags: dubcon, Violence, Implied Psychological Torture, hinted vore?, NSFW, literary voyeurism, the Matrix is manipulative, rarepair, Not Canon Compliant, slightly ooc?, Implied Mutilation Summary:

When the newly denounced Prime receives a message from the Lost Light, perceptibly desperate measures must be taken to ensure the safety of craft and crew.

#here it is #tarn/optimus prime #disillusioned interference #oneshot #be writes #my writing #ao3 link

[minibotdick]

A Part of You

Another new fic is up!

Commission for @caiusmajor

WARNINGS FOR: Hard vore; cannibalism; violence; gore; self hate Other tags: Consensual vore Pairing: Ultra Magnus/Rodimus

AO3 Description:  A complication of Ultra Magnus's loadbearing spark leads to an unorthodox solution. Or, "Rodimus is eaten, consensually".

Want a commission like this? My commissions are still open!

#meat writes #consensual vore #cannibalism kink #hard vore

[smstransformers]

19, 3

In his spare time, Ultra Magnus likes to get badly addicted to vore

#ultra magnus #asks

[sillyromance]

Hello!!!! I read the pred hcs you made for some transformers and I really loved them…I was wondering if you had more? I’d love to hear more about TFP Ratch or TFE Bee…but honestly I’ll take any character you’d like to elaborate on. Those were SO cute 🥺

Good day, dear anonymous!

I'm really happy you like my post - thank you very much for your kind words!!! Unfortunately, I don't have any more ideas about Ratchet and Bee for now... But as soon as I get some, I will definitely post them!

And at this time, here I have predcanons for other transformers from different universes. Hope you will enjoy!

P. S: I'm really sorry for my long silence - sometimes school takes too much of my time...

TFP

Wheeljack

Always confident and calm ninja seems to be quite easy-going at the first glance, but the more you watch him the better you see that in reality he prefers being all by himself, and it demands time to earn his respect and affection. So, like Ultra Magnus, he would be very picky about who he would let inside of his fueltank. However, as far as he warms up to someone, he gets unbelievably chilly about swallowing his beloved team pal down. Need a place to rest? Feel scared or upset? Lonely? Just get in. He doesn't see any point in long ceremonies; his movements are slow and gentle, however it doesn't take much time for Jacky to push you down his throat with a satisfied hum. At the same moment, the part of the process he would adore is tasting; unusual, exotic human flavours would make his processor just buzz in bliss! Sometimes he would take his time a little, carefully, methodically licking a person in his mouth from head to toe, rolling and tickling them with a tip of his tongue, optics closed and lips smiling joyfully. Only when there is no dry spot on the human's body, he would title his helm back and let them slide further into his core. Wheeljack would never be shy to speak to his friends after they got in his fueltank; often he is watched by puzzled eyes of comrades while he's running around his business and talking to someone they can't actually see or hear. But he doesn't pay much attention on their reaction anyways...

As an addition: Wheeljack finds vore a perfect chance to take Mico with him and Bulkhead on missions without Ultra Magnus noticing anything. And he always manages to set her free right at the time when no one is able to see it. So, Magnus is repeatedly driven mad by this small, innocent tricks, although he admits human child's help is quite useful from time to time.

TFE (Earthspark)

Starscream

This mech with difficult, sarcastic, but secretly soft character would be a shy and nervous kind. He would be quite concerned about his tiny friend's safety; when it comes to gulping them down, the 'con is too afraid that he can accidentally hurt them if something goes wrong. And he is sure it will go wrong because he is too used to failings... Moreover: it's really hard to win his trust because of everything he has been through. That way, it would be not a simple task to convince this ex-decepticon that vore is actually a good thing. However, if you manage to go over with all the obstacles, he will be the most careful and wholesome pred ever. And once he completely understands there is no danger - an obsessively willing one. He wants to keep his human companion as close as possible, warm and protected from everything and everyone (especially Megatron). He can get a little teasy in attempt to see how you blush and smile - recognition of his human's pleasure makes his spark sing of happiness; but usually he would just coo at you softly, give you a light kiss in the forehead and then his smooth lips would slowly, but demandingly pull you into his salivating mouth. As a person with PTSD he always needs to have absolute control over the situation, something unexpected (abrupt movements, screams, loud laugh, sudden rough squeezing of his insides) extremely freaks him out; so, you better let Starscream take the lead and stay still. After his darling reached their destination, he would try to move less, not wishing to cause any problems to them. He would curl up in a tight ball, hugging his middle with both arms and stroking it happily, and speak to them softly until he and his prey both fall asleep.

As an addition: sometimes he have panic attacks and feel deep enxiety, so some reassuring weight inside of him would be required.

TF RID

Drift

This autobot is a tough guy which is quite strict to others as well as to himself. So, you shouldn't expect him being a sweetheart. Although the alien samurai never forgets about humans' fragility, his tiny friends are barely treated softly most of the time because they are members of their team like others; they have responsibilities and have to work on their best without excuses or privileges. He doesn't accept extreme sensitivity in anyone; in order to that, he can often hurt his little partner's feelings. I think in this case, vore for him would be a way to apologize for being rude and to show that his friend can trust him; putting them deep inside of his body, close to his spark would mean that whatever offensive things he says sometimes, he is always there for his precious comrades. Of course, his is a QUITE protective pred; if Drift understands that his companion isn't able to defend themselves, he will simply grab little one in a second and shove them into his mouth - such straight forward actions committed without any explanation can be shocking for a prey, but, unfortunately, they should just live with it; he won't change anyways. If you're his close friend or a lover, then perhaps he will go slightly easier on you; at least, he will be definitely more gentle and caring every time he is bound to send you down his fueltank.

However good control Drift has over his emotions, he isn't able to deny that he likes the entire process. When there is an opportunity, he loves examining his sensations; presence of a small life hiding in his very core has a comforting and relaxing influence on him, especially because of his protective instincts. These are the points why he wouldn't hurry to set his human friend free (not like they would be unhappy about it though). The samurai wouldn't tell anyone about where his partner is once they got tucked into his "stomach" (even to the minicons) because in Drift's opinion it could be shameful for both included; that way, when he is around others you can imagine that he has forgotten about you at all. It's not true. And the fact that even during the hardest battles he will keep you fine inside no matter the cost perfectly proves it. But he would pay attention on you openly only in private, far away from the team. Then he would lay one servo on his waist, caressing it delicately, and finally ask softly if you are OK in there. Afterwards, perhaps there would be a long philosophical discussion till the evening, when he would let you out to look at a beautiful sunset from his shoulder.

#safe vore #soft vore #extreme cuddling #transformers vore #transvoremers #earthspark vore #tfp vore #tf rid vore #drift vore #starscream vore #wheeljack vore

[swerveshitposts]

Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord: VORE ME, BILL NYE

Ultra Magnus, Former Duly Appointed Enforcer of the Tyrest Accord: Alright, I think I have enough notes for this.

#maccadam #i'm screaming #ultra magnus #utlar mgsuna #transformers shitpost

[callsign-relic]

🤔❤️?

🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

OH MAN I HAVE TOO MANY HAHAHA. To just name a few— Ultra Magnus unaware vore, First Aid nsfw w/ human reader, and even a couple Bravern fic ideas HAHA

❤️Not a question, just a second kudos to send.

DHDGDHD AWW thank you!!!! Same goes to you!!!!!!

#relic answers

[callsign-relic]

Since everyone else is already making in depth descriptions on their OCs, let me join:

TVF is the kind of person where you have a really hard time telling what gender they are. Technically a guy, but they could also just be a really convincing tomboy. They like leaving people CONFUSED, so they stick to they/them pronouns.

They are the definition of a willing prey, and quite insistent on getting their way in that regard, but given the option to be the pred they'd probably be quite uncomfortable about it.

Like CB, TVF has had a few close calls with the quantum engines, leading to him getting some cat level physics defying abilities.

The quantum engines (as explained by nautica) work by determining how unlikely it is for them to move faster than light and then generating a rediclious amount of energy by doing it anyway.

This has rubbed off on TVF in the way that, the more unlikely the goal they're trying to achieve, the more likely they become to succeed anyway. Sometimes to the degree of straight up doing the impossible.

The moment they think about the unlikelyness of the situation however, it stops working. They can litteraly not do it on purpose.

Fortunately they also never think about wether they CAN do something and only about wether they WANT TO.

They enjoy playing wingman for their fellow humans, though their plans are often disastrous.

TVF also likes to make lewd vore art of people without their permission, but their art skills are meager at best and Ultra magnus is actively trying to crack down on that behavior.

TH is their best friend and like 90% percent of TVF's impulse control.

Hyperion is their favorite bot to invade so far, taking the chance to get in there everytime the silver bot chooses to sleep in root mode.

Hyperion is touchet that this tiny human trust him enough to semi regularly nap in his tanks, but he also really wishes they would just wake him and ask if they wanted in.

TVF is like "hmmmm, nope! More fun doing it my way >:3"

Oooooo thank you for this description as well!!! Good to keep in mind :D

#relic answers #tasty au

[thanksjro]

More Than Meets the Eye #3- Robots in the Vents, Because It’s Not a Roberts Story if It Doesn’t Happen at Least Once

So, the duobots are having a hell of a day.

Shock, our resident obligate belly-sleeper and newly-single robot, laments the passing of his buddy, leaves a vial of innermost energon by his body- a practice that will be expanded upon later- then covers up any and all traces of their having worked with Prowl. These are the inside guys Prowl called after he flipped that table in issue #1.

As Shock tracks down the tracer Ore was supposed to be planting instead of being eaten by the quantum drive, he comes across that sparkeater that got mentioned last issue.

That is his brain.

Then he explodes.

Which brings us to the scene we left in issue #2. Sparkeater on board the Lost Light, which is full of sparks that probably would prefer not to get eaten.

Holy shit Cosmos is huge. I don’t remember him being that goddamn big.

Rodimus thinks that this whole sparkeater thing is really neat, and he’s happy to be a part of it, but he’s not so thrilled about the prospect of subjecting the others to this event, so he orders everyone to find a friend and go to their rooms until he and his select few sort this whole thing out. He doesn’t tell them about the sparkeater, because that’s some scary bullshit to throw out there less than a day into the trip.

Everyone files out, Swerve having forgotten about Tailgate, who’s having a minor wardrobe malfunction. Since he doesn’t have legs at present, he calls out to the one other guy he knows on the Lost Light.

Tailgate really knows how to pick ‘em.

Over with the dead body, everyone stands what is probably unadvisedly close to the scene of the crime and Ratchet performs a quick and dirty autopsy. The boys discuss the validity of Red Alert’s theory that this was caused by a sparkeater, with the mention of Rewind’s grainy footage making the creature seem like the Cybertronian equivalent of a cryptid. Probably less Fresno nightcrawler and more chupacabra. Ratchet tries to get everyone to focus for two goddamn seconds, when Trailbreaker picks up Shock’s brain module, knocking everyone right back off track again with the discussion of Rossum’s Trinity, the idea that the spark, brain module, and transformation cog are all interconnected, and damage to one can cause the others to shut down.

Ratchet’s had just about enough of this lot, but he gets through his examination.

This is the issue Alex Milne started drawing the insignias in himself as opposed to the previous practice of IDW having them put in in post.

Rodimus, however, wants to show off his new toys as it were, and asks Chromedome to take a gander. Chromedome wearily obliges, having Ratchet pop the brain back in Shock’s head so he can do his thing. Every other person on this fucking ship is a doctor, you see, and Chromedome is no exception- he’s a mnemosurgeon.

(Yes, my spellcheck DOES lose its mind every time I type that.)

Chromedome takes his terrifying pointy hands, jams them into the eye sockets of this corpse, and gets a brainfull of Shock’s final moments.

This is such a cool panel, and I went and ruined it for myself by realizing the upper left portion shouldn’t be visible, seeing as the brain is already outside Shock’s head, without any sort of cord connecting it to his body.

Back upstairs, folks are moving into their rooms for the surprise lockdown. Cyclonus is being a pal and is carrying Tailgate, because I’m pretty sure the little guy is just about the only person who’s talked to him in a non-hostile fashion in the last couple of months, and that really gets old after a while.

Those legs sure are something, Hoist. Is it just, like, a rule that a certain percentage of Transformers designs have to be at least somewhat unintentionally horny?

The two find a room, and then Cyclonus remembers that he’s not supposed to show things like empathy until later in the series, and drops Tailgate on the floor unceremoniously.

Meanwhile, over with Skids and Swerve, the pair’s found something truly wonderful- a fully-stocked bar. Swerve’s always wanted to run a bar, and this just might be his chance to chase his dreams.

Swerve is the punching bag for MTMTE, in case you couldn’t tell.

While Swerve is not-so-subtly crying for help, Skids is busy enacting another Roberts writing-staple- the robot in the vents. See, Skids has hit his bad boy phase; he doesn’t play by your daddy’s rules, so he’s gonna sneak out and do generally whatever pleases him, because he’s got a big honkin’ chunk of memories that just aren’t there anymore. Apparently that’s all he needs to go AWOL.

As Skids lifts himself up into the ceiling to fulfill his destiny as a vent-pest, he asks Swerve if he listens to music, which is met with a negatory. Odd, given his later characterization, but maybe he’s more into contemporary works.

The ass poking worked! Swerve is now the proud owner of one whole entire friend!

Back with the corpse crew, Chromedome’s finished his assessment of the body, and agrees that there’s a sparkeater amongst them. This is a huge fucking problem, to put it lightly, both in the sense of actual, physical danger, and the metaphysical space of the Lost Light itself.

Are we sure this thing didn’t just see this ship full of over 200 war veterans and say “that’s some good eatin’ right there” and snuck on board? Because if I were a horrific monster that was drawn to pain and emotional trauma, I’d absolutely consider the Lost Light a gold mine.

As Chromedome lays his head in Rewind’s lap, the others weigh their options. Sparkeaters go after the brightest sparks, then work their way down, so this thing is probably on the move as they speak. The thing’s eaten recently, the sparks haven’t completely digested, and that means they can’t just shoot it, because then it’ll explode, and we’ve had enough of that for one day.

Rodimus has everyone else go to hunt the thing down, while he and Drift hang out here in the basement. When Ultra Magnus questions this plan of attack, he’s brushed off, though Rodimus appears to imply that he thinks he’s got the brightest spark on the ship. Probably all that Matrix nonsense he went through.

Back upstairs, Animus gets shot with the irony gun and gets his soul vored.

This is what happens when you tell lies, kids. Your lemon-lime flavored soul gets eaten by the mecha-Krampus.

Whirl, who had locked the door to the habsuite, which is why Animus was out in the hall to begin with, realizes that something seriously messed up is happening, and does what he knows best, i.e. shooting first and asking questions probably never.

Good thing Trailbreaker is there to keep Whirl from exploding the entire ship, employing the help of his forcefield ability to contain the barrage.

In the resulting chaos, the sparkeater escapes, having triangulated its next meal, and it’s not Rodimus.

It’s this dweeb.

You can tell he’s in his office, because he’s got a landscape painting in there. Landscape paintings are pretty much the only decor allowed in doctors’ offices, I’m pretty sure it’s, like, a law or something.

Luckily, Rung decided to get threatened by a space-cryptid directly under a vent, so Skids can save his skinny little butt. Good job, Skids. Proud of you.

Back with Tailgate and Cyclonus, little dude’s just finished explaining his whole deal. He’s still trying to figure out what the hell happened during his dirt nap, so Cyclonus tries his best to fill him in on the several million year war. Keep in mind, Cyclonus wasn’t exactly there either, so his whole explanation probably isn’t the best. He wonders out loud which side Tailgate would have gravitated towards, had he been around for the massive mess the Autobots and Decepticons made.

Meanwhile, back in the GODDAMNED DUCTWORK, Rung and Skids are crawling as fast as they can to escape the sparkeater, though they can’t be that worried about it, seeing as Rung answers a phone call on his weird body-harness phone setup. Rodimus tells the two of them to head for the engine room, so that the sparkeater follows them down. Rung doesn’t seem too thrilled about this plan, but what’s he gonna do, argue with a potential space-pope?

Skids punches through a vent into the elevator shaft, then uses his grappling hook- which I want to say is never seen again after this issue- to lower them down in one of the most well-known crotch shots in the entire comic series.

Iconic.

They land on top of the elevator, and Skids yells at Brainstorm to punch the "E for Engine Room” button. The sparkeater bursts in through the ceiling, and Skids and Rung book it out of there, leaving Brainstorm to his inevitable demise.

Or not.

Rung and Skids have made it to the engine room, so now it’s time for the next portion of Rodimus’ plan, which is really only a small tweaking of what Rung was doing earlier- instead of being a moving target, he’ll be playing the role of stationary bait, as Rodimus holds him like a fucking crucifix made out of people, urging the sparkeater to come take a bite.

Up on the bridge, Perceptor gets ready to kick on the quantum engine, as per his captain’s request. Sure hope this plan works, because if they lose Rung, I don’t think they’ll ever find another therapist, thanks to the apparent ratio of 1:1/3 of the entire population of Cybertron.

The sparkeater lunges, Rodimus throws Rung off to the side, and he and the beast wrestle, Crocodile Dundee style. Perceptor initializes the jump, and, because they’re in the danger zone for the quantum engine, they get sucked in.

Rung seems a little miffed, but I’d say this is a win for Team Rodimus, even if those arms of his are toast. It’s cool though, he can get new ones.

Smashcut to Rodimus and his sick new arms, as he finishes explaining just what the hell happened to Magnus. Magnus isn’t quite as jazzed about the whole “used our therapist as a worm on a hook” thing as one would think, surprisingly, but Rodimus isn’t in the mood for a lecture. Off in the background, Tailgate’s getting his butt fixed, curtesy of Ratchet. Tailgate’s talking up a storm, regardless of Ratchet’s rather cool reception to the chatter.

Tailgate did some thinking while everyone was locked in their rooms, and he’s made a decision, based on his limited understanding of the Autobot/Decepticon war.

I guess Cyclonus forgot to mention the fact that there isn’t a single Decepticon on this ship for a reason.

#transformers #jro #mtmte #liars A-to-D #issue 3 #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #comic script writing

[thanksjro]

Eugenesis, Part Six Scene Four: Xenon Info-Dumps For Five-And-A-Half Pages

Alright, back to bullshit.

Galvatron is being a rude little turd to Xenon, calling his robot collection old and dusty, but Xenon’s too wrapped up in the Quintesson/Cybertronian lore to be bothered. Ultra Magnus just wants to know what the fuck he’s done with the Matrix.

You heard the man, out with it.

So, back when the Quintessons first started out, they were known as the Progenitors- yeah, I know- a quasi-organic race who went from caveman-level intelligence to full-blown hard sci-fi sons of guns at an incredibly rapid rate.  

Problem is, they didn’t get any further than that. They tried, sure. They tried real hard, for millions of years. Then, once their inspiration had run out, they started looking to other races to try and figure something out.

This just in, god is dead and James Roberts killed him by turning him into a glorified OS.

So, P.R.I.M.U.S. is encoded onto these geodes, and they become sentient. Sometimes they think they’re god.

Just like everyone else in this story.

Now that the Quintessons knew about these little god-doodads, they wanted one for themselves, to try and reverse-engineer the secret to immortality. They hired some guys called the Weavers to nab one for them.

This is some serious nerd shit, y’all. Galvatron agrees with me- he’s never even heard of any of the things Xenon’s droning on about. Neither have I- this is all Roberts at this point.

The Weavers brought back two geodes to the Quintessons, who promptly hid them away until the Masters cooled off a bit, since they were a little miffed about the thievery and whatnot. Then they noticed a couple problems: A) the geodes were encrypted to the moon and back, and B) if you so much as looked at the thing wrong it would purge the Lifecode completely.

Didn’t Optimus throw this thing at Unicron a couple times? Maybe the geode just doesn’t like you, Xenon, ever thought of that?

In order to decode the geodes, the Quintessons needed massive computers. Y’know, like God. But before they could really get a head start on that, the Masters’ nanobot enforcers showed up, blocking out the sky like a giant swarm of angry wasps. They wrecked shopped on Quintyxia- the old one, not the new one- and the Quintessons ran for it. They headed for the planet where they’d buried the other geode, but something went wrong with their hyperspace drive, and they didn’t arrive until two million years after they’d set off.

They dug for the geode, hit something metal, and that’s when the quakes started. The Quintessons left, thinking the planet was unstable.

At this point, Magnus is begging Xenon to just get on with it.

The Quintessons headed back to Quintyxia, to find that their lush, green world had been turned into one made of metal. Cybertron. Quintyxia is Cybertron. New Quintyxia is Quintyxia. It’s like that time Prince named himself the Artist Formerly Known As Prince.

Of course that leaves the question of why the nanobots didn’t just destroy the planet instead of… doing whatever they did to make Cybertron Cybertron.

So, Cybertron is a planet-sized computer, tasked with the sole purpose of decoding the meaning of life.

You know, I remember reading somewhere- and don’t quote me on this, because I can’t for the life of me remember where exactly- that Roberts has never read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Now, either he’s lying- which I don’t know why he would, the guy loves references- or this is just a weird thing the collective brain of the English population does, where they all jump to the same ideas in absurdist sci-fi.

When the Quintessons showed up on Cybertron, they were met with the results of the cracked Lifecode- the first Transformers (but they couldn’t transform, that was a thing that developed alongside the war.) They couldn’t do much of anything, really.

Well, now we know where the protoform babies in IDW come from.

The Quintessons, not ones to squander an opportunity, decide to use these fragile, helpless proto-beings as slaves.

Yeah, the Quintessons have kind of been the worst since day one.

They build brain modules, stick them in the ground- Seedlings, Xenon calls them- and watch as the planet wrapped living metal around them and built bodies.  

The Quintessons get pretty good at making the Auto-Bots, and get to a point where they’re drafting up blueprints for each solitary one. Blueprints that Xenon apparently kept, since he’s got all these copies in the pods right now.

If you couldn’t tell already, we’re going with the “the Quintessons made the Transformers” creation myth.

Of course, you make a big enough species, they’re going to need some corralling- that is, if you want to be an awful, controlling, overbearing parent. And the Quintessons definitely wanted that. So, what’s one to do?

…Look, it’s not that I necessarily disagree on a base level, but-

Xenon, you fucking neckbeard.

Because the Quintessons forgot that religion is not a one-set-outcome game, they were surprised to find that it had given their creations hope and will, things you really don’t want your enslaved masses to have.

The Covenant drove off the Quintessons, then fucked off into deep space to spread the message of Primus, with Maximo at the head of things. Maximo was the leader of the Cybertronian Empire and Megatron’s progenitor in the Marvel UK comics. They did leave someone behind to keep the masses within the faith- Primon. He’s important in the comics, just trust me on that.

Oh man, we’re finally getting some answers.

Xenon admits that the Quintessons didn’t come up with everything; there were parts that they just straight-up ripped out of the geode’s owner’s manual.

Oh. Well. That’s… underwhelming. Xenon’s really just dumping the entirety of the Cybertronian religion into the trash at this point, isn’t he? This info-dump has been going on for five pages, and we still aren’t done.

Turns out that kill switch code was pulled from the geode too- 4/11.002983712 is its serial number. That’s like if you called your dad by his first name and then immediately died afterwords.

But whatever happened to that second geode the Quintessons buried on the other planet?

Yeah, that turned into Unicron.

Turns out the virus that wipes the Lifecode from the geode messed up, and made the geode want to kill literally everything in the universe just for being alive.  

Well, isn’t that all just fine and dandy~!

Because the Quintessons didn’t realize what Unicron’s whole deal was at first- the vore-planet had learned how to lie at some point before they met up- they worked together for a time.

At this point the Quintessons had gone from being quasi-organic to something more cybernetically-dependent, so that might have also made things a little difficult in the baby-making department. Or not. I don’t fucking know, things are just happening at this point.

MOTHERFUCKER DO YOU KNOW WHAT BOOK YOU’RE IN

THERE WILL BE NO HAPPY ANYTHING

Storytime’s over, back to the present day. Xenon’s going to take these podded robots and populate New Quintyxia with them. They won’t fight, they’ll be actual, normal people who don’t wage war.

Xenon must have gotten some new glasses, because that’s one hell of a rose-tinted worldview he’s got there.

Ultra Magnus at this point just asks for the Matrix back so they can go home. Xenon says “nah, but check this out tho” and powers on the pod-bots.

Xenon, that’s gross. Don’t make Galvatron and Magnus watch you be weird with the power of granting life, man.

All the robots wake up, stand, and stare up at Xenon, who’s floated up to the ceiling on his power trip. They… aren’t supposed to do that.

Turns out the Matrix is a friggin’ liar, and only promised power because it’s actually Unicron in there. Well, damn.

Galvatron shoots Xenon. Good.

Shoulda sprung for the waterproofing on your Uggs, Mags.

Galvatron’s on a roll, now. He aims at one of the zombies and fires, and they all go down, thanks to their interlinked minds. Crisis averted, I guess.

Magnus, though not happy with Galvatron’s wanton destruction of innocents, has bigger fish to fry at present; he’s convinced that the Matrix is still inside God. Boy oh boy, is he wrong, but the narrative demands he at least tries. He sticks his hand into the computer, up to the shoulder. That’s not good heavy-duty machinery safety.

Well, shit. He’s been possessed by a higher power.

You know, now that I think about it, there’s a good chance that Xenon putting the Matrix into God messed up the killswitch code, and that’s why Prowl had to use a wasting disease to try and end it all. Not really relevant at this exact moment in the story, just a thought I had.

Galvatron, having had enough mystical bullshit for one day, shoots his arm clean off, severing the connection. Magnus drops like a stone, and Galvatron bolts as everything starts coming down around them.

Oh no, Magnus is gonna be our first victim, isn’t he?

Magnus follows after Galvatron, leaving his arm. Hope he doesn’t run into any aqua fortis on the way back to the Trident, because his Pretender shell is beat all to hell.

Then Xenon pulls himself together and stops being dead.

Sigh.

This was ONE section.

#transformers #jro #eugenesis #part six #maccadam #Hannzreads #text post #long post #prose writing