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fromrosepetalcottage · 6 months

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Wabi sabi life

Photo by Sakagura London.

I've been thinking about the Japanese practice of kintsugi as seen in ceramics, as well as the sashiko mending technique in clothing. Kintsugi encompasses the concept of wabi sabi. Wabi-sabi is the view or thought of finding beauty in every aspect of imperfection in nature. It is about the aesthetic of things in existence, that are “imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete."

Is this not something that we can apply to humans in all our imperfections, psychic wounds new or old, bodies easing into "vintage" years? I read something on a Japanese website that translated the concept in an accessible way that really made me think of how wabi sabi could apply to us, especially as older women. To quote:

Wabi sabi is a beautiful way to describe what is natural and pure and to acknowledge the beauty of any substance or being in its most natural and raw form. It eliminates the rather Westernized concept of artificial beauty and idolizing a state of perfection that is seemingly unachievable and unnatural. The western world has made the concept of beauty into something that is becoming more and more refined as well as more and more unachievable with each passing day and it distorts the idea of natural beauty and accepting the flaws of existence, however, on the contrary, the Japanese belief and concept of wabi-sabi embraces just that and allows the people to be more accepting and open to embracing the beauty of flaws and rawness. Source: https://www.kyoto-ryokan-sakura.com/archives/191

I can't be the only person who scrolls social media and is dismayed by the ubiquity of certain types of selfies. There is a depressing sameness of makeup, hair, expressions, poses. A famous actress once said that adolescence was the time of life when young people had to prove their individuality by looking exactly like everyone else. And that's what social media has become. Extended adolescence on a worldwide scale. Even influencers targeting a mature crowd seem to have fallen into the look alike/dress alike mold. Style blogs that are supported by retail outlets spotlight similar fashions, and while some might link to different size ranges, few share resources that help women understand their shapes or unique natural coloring, leading to a different type of clone wars.

As the Japanese point out, in the West our idea of beauty is something that is so airbrushed and Photoshopped into perfection that it's often unrealistic. A friend and I recently had lunch then stopped in a local IG hotspot to shop and get a couple of snapshots. A nice bystander took a few photos of us, but I was dismayed to see the unfiltered evidence of my current age. I look old, was all that I could sputter. As my friend pointed out, I'm pretty good with editing software and apps, so after a little tweaking, I uploaded the best shot later. But that reflex has nagged at me a little. I don't like looking older, but it's my reality. I am 64, although I could pass for late 40s on a good day.

In the Western Hemisphere, as well as the U.K., the idea that youth is best reigns. When I was in my 20s, I learned that once you hit 30 you were considered over the hill in Brazil. Maybe this idea came from ancient Greece. During the Classical period, idealized sculptures had perfect proportions, but also illustrated the Greek's belief that people peaked at about the age of 18 or so. Even a sculpture of Zeus, king of the gods, might have depicted him as an older man with flowing hair and beard, but Zeus still rocked a body that would make Arnold envious. Over millennia canonical artists have continued to use youthful models. However, the two years of art school that included life drawing classes with nude models ranging from fit and young to older and soft taught me to look differently at bodies.

Model mama, art school, 2002.

For whatever reason, I had an easier time drawing bodies that had a surplus of "fluff" on them. Students weren't supposed to have contact with our models, but our class threw a shower for one. She had taken a maternity leave and on her return, still obviously hadn't lost any of the baby weight, but it didn't matter. Her Rubenesque curves were a delight to try and capture on my drawing board. Unlike some of the young guys in my classes, for me there was nothing sexual about drawing an unclothed body. I saw light, shadow, lines, curves, textures. It takes a certain kind of bravery, and maybe some healthy vanity, to model nude for a studio full of strangers four days a week at universities and art schools around the county to earn enough to live on. This woman gave no fucks that she was considered large in that pre-body-positivity era. Her body had functioned beautifully as it was meant to. She brought a healthy baby into the world. The abundant curves of her abdomen and hips were certainly evidence of their recent use, and she was still breast feeding - again her body was functioning as nature meant. What society might consider imperfect served not only her child, but also students looking to refine their technique in depicting the human form.

We all have some type of imperfection whether visible or invisible. Childhood wounds to the psyche aren't always apparent, although the effect of physical wounds remain visible or physiological in limps or twinges. Our culture pushes near perfection via magazines, films, television programs, and online influencers who seem to want to sell us something that will bring us closer to that elusive goal.

I have another friend who is fond of saying that we already have all we need inside us. While meditating this morning, that thought drifted into my consciousness. I was focusing on wholeness and trust - self trust to be exact. I've made so many mistakes at this point that they could be used as examples on how NOT to live. But I'm ok, and I do have all that I need externally. I have a job and good friends. My home isn't the fanciest, but I have a comfortable place to lay my head at night, there is food in the pantry, and there's good reading and music at hand. Experience has been a tough teacher, but instead of being broken my body has mended the external damage, and the practice of meditating and journaling has helped to salve the emotional wounds.

As those thoughts came to me after I finished meditating, the concept of wabi sabi surfaced. Beautiful imperfection. The kintsugi technique is the repair of shattered pottery and then using gold leaf to highlight the lines where the vessel had come back together. The jagged lines aren't seen as flaws, but as something to be cherished and the gold makes a treasure of the piece. Sashiko mending involves using decorative stitches to patch or darn a spot on a garment that is fraying or has developed holes. The technique has come into fashion in the West with people becoming more conscious of sustainable clothing. Rather than disposing of a worn garment, repair it and add a personal touch that is a thing of beauty in and of itself. I tried sashiko on the elbow of a much loved topper that I was wearing at work every day. The technique salvaged the piece and kept it out of the recycle bin.

Sashiko source: https://perennialstl.org/event/boro-sashiko-mending/

After a pretty traumatic road accident the same elbow on my body had to be stitched back together, along with some other spots. The stitches didn't quite heal right, and 12 years later, the scars are still there on my arm. Maybe they're my personal kintsugi, although it's not possible to apply gold leaf. The scars are evidence that I am still here, still functioning - got motion back - and I'm still useful. I'm broken but unbowed.

I believe that anyone who has made it this far is going to have some internal or external damage; it's natural. Life is not perfection; life is messy and if we just accept that we can't control everything, it's a bit easier to accept the occasional mess and imperfections. While I certainly have things I'm still working on, things that are in my sphere of control, the rest is what it is. Like the kintsugi vessel, my scars are golden. If you've read this far, yours are as well...

#wabisabi #kintsugi #sashiko #impermanence #imperfections #brokenbutunbowed #imstillstanding #lifeover50 #agepositive #agepositvely #maturewomen #ageinggracefully #art school #life drawing #life models #scars #meditation

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dutchplayboyfans · 1 year

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@portfolio_mirjam ❤️One from 2021, but which I hadn't posted before. I didn't want to keep him from you because he's too beautiful.💋 Hope you like it too 😜 . . . 📸 @goddess_fotografie . . . #selfconfidence #bestagermodel50 #fashionable50 #healthysexyfifty #midlifewomen #agepositive #figuremodeling #bedifferent #bestshooter_portraits #naturelovers #over50andfabulous #womanwithstyle #stylehasnoage #loveyourself #selfconfidence #50plusandfabulous #maturebeauty #over50model #agelessstyle #agelessbeauty #ageisjustanumber #agegracefully #agepositivemodel #womansinspiration #lovelifetothefullest #ladiesteamfamily #nice_womenlover #modelover50 #boudoirphotography #bodypositive https://www.instagram.com/p/CnbSbivK7Mi/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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finding-kathy-brown · 4 months

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Embracing Change: Thriving in Your 50s and Beyond - Travel & Life

#agepositive #embracing #agere blog #over 50

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althafrana · 6 months

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aging-related sexual changes

As individuals age, various physical and psychological changes can impact their sexual health and functioning. Here are some common aging-related sexual changes:

1.Hormonal Changes: With age, both men and women experience hormonal changes. In men, there may be a decline in testosterone levels, leading to reduced libido and erectile difficulties. In women, menopause results in decreased estrogen levels, which can cause vaginal dryness and reduced sexual desire.

2.Physical Changes: Age can lead to physical changes, such as reduced muscle tone, joint stiffness, and mobility issues, which can affect sexual positions and overall comfort during sexual activity.

3.Medications: Many older adults take medications for various health conditions, and some of these medications can have side effects that impact sexual function, such as causing erectile dysfunction or reducing sexual desire.

4.Chronic Health Conditions: Conditions like diabetes, heart disease, and obesity, which become more prevalent with age, can affect sexual health. For instance, diabetes can cause nerve damage, which may lead to erectile dysfunction.

5.Psychological Factors: Stress, anxiety, and depression can become more common with age and can affect sexual desire and function. It's important to address any psychological factors that may be impacting your sex life.

6.Relationship Changes: Over time, relationships can evolve, impacting sexual dynamics. Open communication and intimacy-building efforts can help navigate these changes.

7.Vaginal Changes: In women, aging can lead to vaginal dryness, thinning of vaginal tissues, and a decrease in elasticity, which may result in discomfort during sex.

8.Erectile Difficulties: Men may experience erectile difficulties more frequently as they age, and it's important to consult a healthcare provider if this becomes a concern.

9.Intimacy and Emotional Connection: Aging can also bring a deeper sense of emotional intimacy, which can enhance sexual experiences. Focusing on emotional connection can be especially meaningful as physical changes occur.

10.Communication: Open and honest communication with your partner is essential to navigate the changes in your sexual life and find new ways to connect and experience pleasure.

11.Sexual Health Maintenance: Engaging in regular physical activity, a balanced diet, and staying sexually active can help maintain sexual health and vitality.

It's important to remember that aging-related sexual changes are normal, and many of the challenges can be addressed with healthcare provider guidance, communication with your partner, and adjustments in your sexual routine. Your sex life can continue to be satisfying and enjoyable as you age

To get more information about aging-related sexual changes, please do contact Dr. Rana’s Medical Hall. We are working as a one stop solution for all your sexual problems since 1960. Moreover, we have facilitates for both online consultation & direct consultation.

Read Morehttps https: //ranamedicalhall.com/sex-after-50-everything-you-should-know What Sapp us: https://wa.me/918848511462 Online Consultation form: https://ranamedicalhall.com/consultation-form/

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meetmitsui · 1 year

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Cheers to that day when we met halfway, when my years caught on and we were finally both 30-year-old humans, playing this life era called adulthood, @jonardave ✨🍸 #proage #agepositive #loveyourage #agingwell #aginggracefully #gracefulaging #betterwithage #agelessbeauty #ageisjustanumber #beautyhasnoage (at Villa Ibarra Tagaytay) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmnklgDyglM/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#proage #agepositive #loveyourage #agingwell #aginggracefully #gracefulaging #betterwithage #agelessbeauty #ageisjustanumber #beautyhasnoage

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beccalang69 · 1 year

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Up to 25% off with free shipping AcuBracelet.com Etsy.com/shop/acupressurebracelets ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #agepositive #balancehormones #brainfog #cramps #estrogen #healthyhormones #hormonalhealth #hormonalimbalance #hormoneimbalance #hormonesupport #hotflashes #hotflushes #knowyourbody #menopause #menopauseadvice #menopausediet #menopausehealth #menopausehelp #menopausematters #menopauserelief #menopausesupport #menopausesymptoms #menopauseweightloss #nightsweats #perimenopausefitness #perimenopausehealth #thyroidhealing #vaginalhealth #womenshealthmatters #womenswellbeing (at Westport, Washington) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmVjp-tuXfJ/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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jeszmo · 2 years

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40!! Time flies right? Thank you all for your messages, calls, and other kind gestures. I am the kind of person that don’t celebrate birthdays, I celebrate times. Through the years I am so glad to remember people I got old with, laugh, shared core memories. The times where I was listening k7, doing mixtapes, the travelling parts where I was lost in translation, maps were on paper, the movies that changed everything,the times where I was having big expectations of what ages would mean and look like… The dark times too, when the light was hard to find but having the right people around to rise. When you are a creative person, you can always change perspective, look at the bright side and create a new vision. Well, not gonna tell you all these Times, now ready to enter the 40´s club, where it seems also a ride, but if I made it til now, I guess I can keep on rolling.🌀 • • • #turning40 #agepositive #artistportrait #collectmomentsnotthings #geometricartist #livingwithart #borninthe80s #studioview #formalism (at Tel Aviv, Israel) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cj-jv0AIvv7/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

#turning40 #agepositive #artistportrait #collectmomentsnotthings #geometricartist #livingwithart #borninthe80s #studioview #formalism

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brixtontears · 2 years

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You actually know your self more then you think Trust your intuition . . . . . . .. . . . . . . . . #proaging #antiagingproducts #agepositivity #bodyimagepositivity #dailyaffirmations #dailyhealthaffirmation #spiritualgrowth #higherfrequency #selfempowerment #universalguidance #highervibration #spiritualbeing #spirituallifecoach #chooseyourthoughts #higherself #poledancing #polefitness #poletricks #poledancingmotivation #running #nikerunning #runninggoals #jogging #yoga #yogalife #yogaeverywhere #yogafitness #yogavibes #yogajournal #yogastudent (at Brixton) https://www.instagram.com/p/CeKznETo3GH/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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atnanas · 2 years

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#Sundayafternoons#prayerful#70plusstyle#Enjoylife#over71#over60#over50#Mylook#personalstyle#chicover71#whatiworetoday#Feelingood#agegracefully#agepositive#silversister#visible#Sunday#maturemodels#silvermodels#visiblewomen#prayedup#Targetstyle#TLB#TargetStyle@Target#TargetMyWay#ShareMyTargetStyle@Target

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everydaybeautiful · 1 month

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Reposted from @sueshifit Did you say something?

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#attitude #sassy #youlookingatme #urban #modelingphotography #bestagermodel #greytransition #waveyhair #maturemodels #embraceaging #agepositive #fashionshoot

#sueshifit

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olderwomendateblog · 2 years

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Trying is everything- we'll know from the start. Looking forward to learning more about new friends! And then find my ture cougar dating.

#olderwomen #maturewomen #cougars #findinglove #over40women #over50women #over50andfabulous #over50andfit #50plusandfabulous #linkinbio #agepositive #agegap #luxurywomen #bestager #art #photography #travel #movies #comics

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bookmarkquinn · 2 years

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Age is just a number. #age #olderwomen #oldermen #ageisjustanumber #ageuk #maturepeople #bookmarkquinn #Poet #writer #journalist #TAMG #mygen @mygengm @age_uk @age_international #lifeisajourney #lifeisagift #agepositive #agediscrimination https://www.instagram.com/p/CbAEoRAIhF5/?utm_medium=tumblr

#age #olderwomen #oldermen #ageisjustanumber #ageuk #maturepeople #bookmarkquinn #poet #writer #journalist #tamg #mygen #lifeisajourney #lifeisagift #agepositive #agediscrimination

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beccalang69 · 1 year

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Menopause Relief Multi Symptom Acupressure Bracelet-Snap Jewelry Diffuser Locket-Simple Natural Remedy-made in the USA AcuBracelet.com ⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ .⁣ #agepositive #balancehormones #brainfog #cramps #estrogen #healthyhormones #hormonalhealth #hormonalimbalance #hormoneimbalance #hormonesupport #hotflashes #hotflushes #knowyourbody #menopause #menopauseadvice #menopausediet #menopausehealth #menopausehelp #menopausematters #menopauserelief #menopausesupport #menopausesymptoms #menopauseweightloss #nightsweats #perimenopausefitness #perimenopausehealth #thyroidhealing #vaginalhealth #womenshealthmatters #womenswellbeing https://www.instagram.com/p/ClRSOqypQhy/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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brooklynnegoes · 3 years

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💡 Grace & wisdom are knowing when something is 𝙣𝙤𝙩 your assignment. And letting go, with love. This aging thing is literally a journey in learning (not a destination). Not lecturing. Not preaching. Not projecting. It’s 𝙇𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜 & 𝙁𝙞𝙡𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜. And when people come to me with their 🧳👝💼👜🧰 - being discerning and saying “no, that’s not for me”. Or “that’s not my baggage”. I realize, a lot of Aunties keep it cute by keeping it quiet, and delivering a fullstop “no”. It’s a complete answer. —— #thoughtoftheday #goodmorning #goodmorningsomebody #aging #effyouragingstandards #GenX #over40 #over50 #wisdom #grace #understanding #locs #silverfox #silversisters #agepositive #teamnatural_ #gogreybechic #locstyles #greyhair #saltnpepper #ageless #flyageless #flyagelessambassador #midlife #thegreynation #saltandpepper #grombre #choosegreytness (at Washington D.C.) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRysLHSoSAE/?utm_medium=tumblr

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brixtontears · 2 years

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Some of you know me and some of you don’t What you are looking at are the best parts of my life But I all so known that there are people that can tell you that I am not a perfect human being I can also tell you about the hurt and pain and I have caused And I am at peace with that . . . . . . #proaging #antiagingproducts #agepositivity #bodyimagepositivity #dailyaffirmations #dailyhealthaffirmation #spiritualgrowth #higherfrequency #selfempowerment #universalguidance #highervibration #spiritualbeing #spirituallifecoach #chooseyourthoughts #higherself #poledancing #polefitness #poletricks #poledancingmotivation #running #nikerunning #runninggoals #jogging #yoga #yogalife #yogaeverywhere #yogafitness #yogavibes #yogajournal #yogastudent (at Brixton) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cd6z0blIsVa/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

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atnanas · 2 years

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#Sundayafternoons#prayerful#70plusstyle#over71#over60#over50#Mylook#personalstyle#chicover71#whatiworetoday#Feelingood#agegracefully#agepositive#silversister#visible#Sunday#maturemodels#visiblewomen#prayedup#TLB

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