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selkiewife · 3 years

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For the commentary track meme!

Theon continues to carry Ice to executions as ten name days turn into eleven and then twelve. It is a great honor to squire for the Lord of Winterfell and Theon wants to make him proud. The others think it is an undeserved honor for the dirty Ironborn hostage ward. But he will show them that an Ironborn is as honorable as any Stark. He will smile like Dagmer to show them he is unafraid.

Mikken, the blacksmith, has told him that the Ice is forged from Valyrian steel, but it still feels as heavy as ordinary steel to Theon. Heavier, in truth. And as he trails behind the cold imposing form of Lord Stark on execution days, he wonders:

Who will carry Ice for him to his execution?

Mayhaps Robb? If he’s old enough… He hopes it won’t be Snow.

Will he have to carry it himself? Carry the sword to his own execution? That seems exceptionally cruel though, and Lord Stark is not an unkind man. He has even praised his skill with the bow and given him the rare smile once or twice.

Mayhaps he can persuade Lord Stark to drown him in the black pool in the Godswood instead of beheading him? The pool is freshwater, not salt. But it still might allow him to enter the Drowned God’s halls. Lord Stark already uses that pool to clean Ice, Theon has often spied him doing so after an execution. If Lord Stark drowns him, there will be no blood for him to clean from his sword or his hands.

The Greenlanders think that drowning is barbaric but the Ironborn know better. Drowning is horrible at first, but after a time, the waters calm and carry you as if you were safe inside your mother’s womb. And then you see your loved ones, calling you to the Drowned God’s halls, calling you home.

He resolves to ask Lord Stark to execute him by drowning if his father rebels again. Yet the words never seem to rise to his lips. Nor do his other questions for Lord Stark.

Questions like, what is the best way to place your head onto the block?

He notices that some men face the block head on, with their chins flush against the wood, so that the sword strikes the center of the back of their necks. But some turn their head to the side, with their ear against the block, so that the sword meets the side of the neck first. Why? Which is better? Many times he tries to ask Lord Stark, but the words won’t come.

One night he notices the stool in his room is shaped similar to the blocks used at the executions. He drops to his knees and pulls the stool toward him with trembling hands. But which way should he place his head? He tries both ways. First with his chin resting against the top of the stool. Then with his cheek resting against it. He reckons it is more comfortable the second way. He could almost pretend that he was drifting off to sleep.

@team-mom-wannabe asked about Don’t Lose Your Head from this meme

Ahhhh! Thank you so so much for sending this in!

Okay so this section (and really this whole fic lol) was the perfect unholy marriage between my angst about Theon having to grow up fearing that he may be executed at any point, and my own obsessive thoughts about death- and weirdly enough, death by beheading. (The rest is under the cut since it got long)

And I feel like I should tag @julie-slamdrews in this because she can attest to my obsession about beheadings lol. Ever since I was a child, executions like burning at the stake or beheadings fascinated and horrified me- so much that I would become fixated on them in an unhealthy way. And I dealt with this by acting out executions with my neighbor. So we would play, “Burned at the Stake” or “Guillotine.”

But getting back to Theon, this whole section of him carrying the sword and wanting to do a good job and make Ned proud vs. having these intrusive, obsessive thoughts about his own future execution was born out of my deep frustration that a lot of people still say that Theon was “adopted” by Ned. And I’ve said this before and I know I’lll have to say it again. But adoption should never end in decapitation. Seriously, what adoption do you know that would end in the adoptive parents killing their adopted kid if the birth parents did something wrong. Like???????????

And now look, I am not saying that Theon did not develop familial feelings with the Starks and they with him in some cases (such as Robb.) That is called just being human and trying to find humanity in a fucked up situation. But it doesn’t negate that it was a horrible situation for him to be in. And fearing death- fearing that your parents will not care enough about you to keep you safe (by not rebelling) or that the people you are growing up with would put you to death... That is a fucked up situation that is going to do a number on anyone.

And I know people say, “Well, that was just how it was back then, in medieval inspired Westeros.” And yeah that’s true. And with this section, I am kind of leaning into that idea. The normalization of fucked up things. In fact, Theon has normalized his situation to the extent that he is wondering about how to bring his concerns about his possible execution up to Ned in the most casual way possible.

I also wanted to show that it is completely possible that Ned made Theon carry the sword to make him feel special and to give him a special job. Which is heartbreaking in its own way. But, again, even though his intentions might have been good, it is still fucked up and it definitely fucked Theon up, whether he meant to or not.

The section where Theon wants to be drowned instead of beheaded is there to show that Theon really does come from a completely different culture than the north but also that he is already beginning to romanticize the culture he has been taken from. And also, Theon is already sort of trying to combine both cultures by desiring to be drowned in the Godswood pool. And then, this section also just shows Theon’s chaotic nature- that he truly believes Ned might think it’s a “win, win” to drown Theon since it would save him the messy clean up lol. I also personally could never imagine Ned drowning anyone lmao.

But there is a part of Theon that feels like he can’t actually ask theses questions. Partly because of how distant and stern Ned is and partly because Theon doesn’t really want to face this possibility himself- which is why Theon eventually turns to denial in order to not have to deal with these fears.

The part where Theon is wondering what is the best way to place his head on the block: This part comes directly from watching the Tudors and experiencing my brain melt over the fact that there were two ways beheadings happened on that show THAT WERE NOT EVER EXPLAINED lol.

After watching that show, I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out why some people held their head forward and some leaned their heads to the side to be executed. I was never able to find a good explanation, but a friend of mine mentioned that if you lay your head down so that the axe meets the side of your neck first, that would likely be an easier slice. I did notice that people were beheaded almost exclusively with the neck to the side in the later episodes of the Tudors. So maybe this was suppose to give a nod to the fact that the executioners of Tudor England eventually realized that this was a cleaner execution. This idea is also supported by the fact that the French swordsman wanted Anne Boleyn to be distracted so that she turned her head the right way for the cleanest cut. However, I never really found out if the way you hold your head on the block really matters. Theon didn’t really either though, since he couldn’t bring himself to ask so... it worked out lol.

The thing about Theon “rehearsing” his death was inspired by Catherine Howard who asked for the block to be brought to her cell the night before her execution so that she may know how to place herself upon it. But I also thought that would be such an incredibly Theon thing to do- to rehearse for his death and make sure everything was just so- so that people would say, “the lad died well,” afterwards. 💔

Thank you so so much for this ask! It was fun to try to explain what the hell I was thinking while writing this fic lol.

#theon greyjoy #theon fic #asoiaf fic #asoiaf #my fic #ask answered #team-mom-wannabe #tw decapitation #tw death #tw obsessive thoughts of death

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mysticalenergy · 4 years

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Away For The Weekend

We woke to the sound of Tom’s phone ringing. Hand snaking out from under the cover, he tapped around on the bedside table, “H’lo,” he mumbled. “Mum?”

I could hear Diana’s voice, but not what she was saying.

“Sorry Mum, can you say that again. I just woke up.” Listening, nodding, Tom sat up. “No, no. It’s fine. We need to get up anyway. Bit of a late night.” Listening again. “What time.” Nodding. “Yeah, that’s fine. One of us will be there to get you.“ Nodding, listening. “Ok, I’ll see you then. Bye.”

Laying on my stomach, I opened my eyes as Tom placed his phone back on the table. Looking over and seeing my eyes open, he said, “Sorry that woke you. Mum will be back early this afternoon. She’s catching the train so we’ll need to pick her up.”

“I can get her if you want,” I told him as he lay down beside me, pulling me closer.

“I have to go out this morning but I can get her on my way back home,” he answered. “Coffee?”

Smiling, I looked at him, “Silly question.”

Kissing my shoulder, then flicking the covers back, he laughed, “I know. I’ll have it ready in a couple of minutes. Do you want me to bring it in here for you?”

“Tempting as it is to have you bring it back to me, I should get up. I need to tidy up a bit,” I replied as his phone rang again.

Checking the call I.D he said, “I have to take this,” then literally ran out of the room.

Stretching, I got out of bed and made my way to the bathroom across a floor strewn with discarded clothing. After using the bathroom, splashing water on my face and combing my fingers through my hair, I went back to the bedroom and thought about picking everything up but decided coffee was far more important at this hour.

Joining Tom in the kitchen, I poured coffee as he was ending his call.

“Everything ok?” I asked, taking that all important first sip. “Ahhhh,” I said as the caffeine hit my system.

“You and your coffee,” he chuckled, hugging me from behind. “Listen darling, that call was to let me know that I have to go away this weekend. I leave tomorrow morning and I’ll be back Monday.”

“We didn’t have anything planned did we? Nothing I need to reorganise?” I asked.

“Nothing I can think of,” he said. “I’m sorry it’s such short notice.”

Back into the work routine, never knowing what to expect, I shrugged and turned to him, “Can’t be helped. I’ll hang with your mum before she heads home. I’m going to miss having her here. Has she said exactly when she’s going?”

“Next week sometime is all she’s said,” he replied.

Finishing our coffee then having a quick bite to eat, Tom went to get dressed and head to the studio for yet another costume fitting.

I’d just finished picking up in our room when my phone rang, “Hello?”

“Hey missy, how are you?”

“Chris! How nice to hear from you,” I said. “I’m fine. How are you? How’s Elsa and the kids?”

“Yeah, good, good,” he answered. “I tried calling Tom but got no answer.”

“He had to go in for costume fittings,” I told him. “Is there something I can help with?”

“I was going to see if you guys wanted to come up for the weekend. We’re having a bit of an informal get together with the family and thought you might like to join us.”

Thoughts of Byron Bay and the beaches jumped into my head. It was beautiful up there, so relaxing, so pretty. “Damn, I would have loved to but Tom’s away for the weekend,”

“Ah, bugger,” Chris said. “Is Diana still with you or has she headed home?”

“She’s still here. We think she’s headed home sometime next week. She’s been visiting friends of hers up the mountain. She’ll be back this afternoon. Tom’s picking her up on his way home.” I answered.

“Mum and Dad are going to be here too, would have been good for us to all catch up again before she left. Why don’t you and Diana come up? We’d love to have you,” he said.

“I’m not sure if I could Chris. I’ve got Bobby and Paddy and I’m not sure if I could get them into the kennels at such short notice,” I pondered.

“Bring them. They’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure?” I asked. “I have to be honest, I’d love to come up. The thought of hanging around here for 4 days without Tom isn’t really that appealing.”

“It’s settled then. You’ll come up,” he said.

Laughing, I replied, “I’ll just double check there’s nothing Tom needs me to do but, yes, I’d love to come up and I’m sure Diana would love to see you.”

“You’ll be up...?”

“Tom leaves in the morning, so anytime really,” I said.

“Great, so we’ll see you early tomorrow afternoon then,” he said ringing off.

Checking the time, I figured I still had a couple of hours before Tom and Diana would be back. Poor Diana, she’d no sooner get back and I’d be dragging her away again, although I doubt she’d mind, she liked Chris and his family.

Deciding not to pack until I’d confirmed with Tom that there was definitely nothing he needed done over the weekend, I put the stereo on and started doing some housework. It was so nice to be able to move about without those bloody crutches. That was my surprise for Tom. I’d been given the all clear to start using my leg bit by bit until I was comfortable enough to put all my weight on it. The exercises I’d been given had helped immensely and I was quite comfortable without the crutches, even if I did still have a bit of a limp.

Having tidied up the living room and cleaned the kitchen, I got the vacuum cleaner out. Turning the music up to drown out the sound, I started running the vacuum over the floor, moving furniture so I could clean underneath and around it properly. I was having a wonderful time. Each time I had to stop to move furniture, I’d have a bit of a dance around the place, singing out loud, feeling better than I had in ages.

“What the bloody hell do you think you’re doing? Do you never learn, never do as your told?” I heard Tom roar over the music.

Jumping, I dropped the hose of the vacuum and put my hands on my chest, “Jesus Christ, you scared the hell out of me.”

Turning the music down, glaring at me, “Would you care to tell me what the bloody hell you think you’re doing?” pointing to the crutches that were leaning against the kitchen bench then to me at the other end of the living room.

“Hi Diana,” I greeted as she walked in.

“Hi Dil, you in trouble again?” she chuckled.

“Always, it seems,” I replied, then turning to Tom. “It’s not exactly the way I had hoped to tell you but..surprise, I don’t have to use them around here anymore.”

“You don’t?” he questioned, big smile on his face. “Darling, that’s wonderful.”

We caught up on Diana’s trip and Tom’s morning then I mentioned the call from Chris.

“Was there anything you needed done here babe? I’d love to go up and see them all and it beats sitting around here all weekend without you,” I said, then looked at Diana grinning, “No offence meant.”

She laughed, “None taken Dil. I’d love to go too actually.”

“Enjoy yourselves,” he said. “I would have loved to come but we’ve found a location we might be able to use for some of the outdoor shoot and we need to screen test it, so I need to be there.”

Giving Chris a quick call, I confirmed that Diana and I would be coming up, then handed the phone to Tom.

“No mate, I can’t. Location testing unfortunately, looks like we’ve got the perfect spot. Look after my girls for me. Take care, talk later.”

We all went off to our respective rooms and packed what we’d be needing for the few days we’d be away.

“Any chance you can drop me at the airport in the morning or would you rather me get a cab?’ he asked.

“We can drop you on the way,” I told him. “I’m actually looking forward to the weekend now.”

“I’m jealous,” he said pulling me into his arms and hugging me tightly. “Don’t get any ideas about running off with any of the locals.”

“You’re more than enough for me to handle thanks,” I said, chuckling and attempting to twist my way out of his grip as he decided to brand my neck.

Looking at his handiwork, he gave a self satisfied smile, “All mine.”

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btstaejimin · 6 years

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Desire or Comfort? (Jimin and Taehyung Angst)

Hey guys,

I haven’t posted any original content for a while, but recently I have reconnected with a friend who is also an ARMY as a result of me sksksksk ^^. She managed to get me to write up my personal dreams in the form of an imagine/fanfic. While also encouraging me to post them, this is my first ever smut post(well first chapter is suggestive, second and third chapters though... oh hunny ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) )

I apologise for being MIA for the last year or so, I’m currently in my second year of university... ya girl is getting old T_T. I think I started this blog back in 2015 when I was a year into being an ARMY, I was very active and then exams were around the corner and I just focused on reblogging content from blogs dedicated to BTS. Anyway enough rambling. I’ve written 3 chapters so far (we all know I prefer one-shots cos I'm lazy heh), but if the first one does well I’ll post the other two. Hope you enjoy xx

(A/N: Apologies my writing style might’ve changed a lil bit xx)

Warnings: Smut(in future chapters), Adultery... and Angst heheh

Word Count: 3984

Part 2

Chapter 1

It had been 2 and half years since he seized the opportunity to step past the friendship boundary I had created. Though I was in love with him, I was okay with watching him from afar. Our friendship started off with a rare opportunity I came across.

You see I was a freelancer, a teacher in the day and anything in the evening to make extra money on the side. Though most of my jobs were either being a runner on set, makeup artist or hair stylist or even a cleaner. My passion was photography. Non-profit projects were often funded by my side jobs, luckily enough one of the works I did, managed to be viewed by an assistant whom worked for a popular boy band. At the time, I was unaware of their popularity but I did appreciate their music.

Through word of mouth, I managed to work on set at a shoot with the said boy band, and later on, was gifted the opportunity to work full time with their team. I was intrigued by the shortest boy of the group, his skin was fair as snow, ebony hair and hooded eyes that could trap your soul if you were not careful. He was living beauty at its most divine. His looks were intimidating until he smiled, that domineering feeling vanished once she showcased his pearly whites with pride. His name was Park Jimin. He was the reason for the sins I proceeded to commit, though aware of the consequences.

It was innocent at first, he was one of the seven boys that continued to captivate me without ease. Though he was the most enchanting to me, there was another that did not fail to make me question my sanity. He was tall, shoulders as broad as a door frame, lashes that aided in losing yourself in his uneven brown eyes, fingers slender yet gentle, his rectangular smile would make your heart flutter to the point you forgot how to breathe. He too played a role in my confusion between my heart and my loins. Kim Taehyung. That devil bastard, ruined everything in one simple moment of weakness.

In the first year of working for the seven talented boys, I amassed deep connections to a select few, though I was on good terms with all the handsome men, a select few proceeded to play with my heartstrings as though I was a harp and they were beginner harpists whom they’d break in till they learned every inch of the instrument.

I was like putty in their hands, anything they asked for, I’d do, but their smiles were enough reward for my sore legs. After eight months, Jimin decided to seize the opportunity into asking me on a date.

His hair now blonde, cascaded effortlessly across his forehead, lips plump and rosy, he begun..

“Let me take you out to eat sometime, Y/N” he insisted.

His hand found the small of his neck while he shun his teeth through his thick lips.

‘*Sigh* .. I hate when he does that... Why does he have to do that?’ I thought as I felt my face flush with crimson

‘If I just play dumb and say sure as friends, then maybe, he’ll catch on’

It's not that I did not want to date him, but over time as I stood next to him or remotely near the piece of artwork, I was reminded of my insignificance and how much I didn’t deserve to be even breathing the same air as something so beautifully breath-taking.

“Yeah, let's go get some spicy rice cakes or something, it’s important for friends to hang out” I exclaimed brushing past him to the practice room where all the other boys were waiting.

Though I recall that moment being very awkward, it didn’t stop him.

He followed me into the room, making his presence known.

“Y/N, I didn’t mean as friends, I want to date you, for goodness sakes!” He spoke with haste.

The room did not fail to submerge me in ‘oooh’s’ and ‘ahhhh’s’ and ‘wooo’s’. I was drowning, not only in embarrassment, but fear.

He was something I wasn’t deserving nor worthy of, he was someone whom was my forever person, but things took a turn for the worst in our second year of being together.

Things became dull, overfamiliar and repetitive. We both were undeniably uncomfortable in an environment we labelled to be a place of comfort.

Overtime, it created an issue with his best friend Taehyung, as I often found myself indulging in his company to escape the blandness, I called my lover.

Jimin hated the way I smiled so often around Taehyung, the way he was able to change my body language just through entering the room. He was jealous, and I was ignorant to it. We both found comfort in other things, unfortunately for him, my comfort was found in the other members.

Jungkook, the youngest of the seven managed to find my portfolio of old works and had asked to accompany me on one of my projects, he was the only one who knew about my passion, he was respectful, humble and willing to learn. He had helped me on set that day, our bond became stronger through our mutual interest. After arriving at the dorm that evening, Jungkook continued to discuss possible concepts to explore in my work till he stumbled upon an idea.

“Considering, you’ve been doing minimal projects lately, I’m guessing you’re suffering from mild artist block?” He hummed leaning his head to one side while lifting the corner of his mouth.

“How did you know?” My eyes widened from the sudden intrigue.

“Mmm, you don’t seem yourself lately, I mean we’ve known you for 3 and a half years, yet only 3 months ago did I find your portfolio while you were cleaning out your apartment”

The young man decided to take it upon himself to read me like a book?

I wasn’t offended, more confused, I’d be lying if I said I was myself lately, but with the current tension with Jimin, I never had time to plan projects as I was always preoccupied with my growing concern for our relationship.

“Ahhh, photography is like my little secret you see, it's my guilty pleasure, I don’t really like sharing my work with others” I smiled faintly.

“I see, but your works are beautiful, they are something to be showcased, you know Taehyung is into photography too” He chimed.

Speak of the devil, the handsome figure walked into the open planned kitchen with nothing but slacks, a beanie and a long sleeve t-shirt hanging from his frame. Bastard. He was so effortlessly attractive and he knew it.

“What’s this I hear about photography?” He cheeks balled up as he poured himself a glass of water.

“Hyung, did you know Y/N is a photographer? She refuses to be credited for her works though.” He turned to the older male.

Taehyung stopped drinking, and in that moment, I felt the piercing eyes of the male search for my soul.

“No, I had no idea” He whispered, I could almost taste the betrayal he felt from the string of words, he let slip from his lips.

My head remained low as I searched the cupboards for something to eat.

“Why didn’t you tell me Y/N?, I thought we were close.” He spoke, looking for my eyes.

“I don’t know, it never came up, so I never got around to telling you.” I shrugged.

“But how come Kook knows?” He took a seat at the island, crossing his arms.

“Oh, that’s my fault, Hyung. I went to her apartment while she was cleaning and found her portfolio” He spoke.

The air was thick, I wasn’t exactly sure why, possibly because Taehyung felt left out of the loop, but even Jimin didn’t know much about my hobby, only that I take pictures on occasion.

For that moment, I wanted the floor to swallow me whole.

“I have an idea, since you’re suffering from a block, how about we flip roles, you be the subject and I am the photographer” Jungkook jumped up from his stool, excited from the prospect.

“How about I pick a place personal to me and then the concept I come up with, you have to recreate as the photographer and me as the subject?” He added.

“Umm, I don’t know Kook, I’ve never been the subject before, I’m much more comfortable behind the camera, I mean its a good idea bu-“

“I’m in” Taehyung cut.

“Huh?” I questioned.

“I’ve always wanted to shoot you Y/N, I’ve told you time and time again, that you should model or something, but you never listen to me, this would be a great opportunity, to switch roles and stimulate your creativity!” He answered while Kook nodded his head in agreement.

“I don’t wan-“

“I want to join in too” A voice spoke from behind the nearest wall.

“I mean she is my girlfriend after all, plus I’d get to spend some quality time with her” Jimin smiled.

“I didn’t sign up for this, I don’t want to” I hissed.

“I mean you owe us an explanation about this deep-rooted hobby so this is a nice way out of it and its beneficial to all of us” Taehyung demanded, eyes dark as he stood from the island.

“We’ll let you know what we plan to do, just keep the next two weeks free for us” Taehyung spoke once more, turning his back to me while lifting his hand as he left the kitchen.

The time had come where I’d be the subject of the boys eyes, though I didn’t want to, the more I thought about it the more I convinced myself that this was an opportunity for new inspiration. With most things Taehyung requested to do things first, in this instance it wasn’t an exception either.

He had planned to take me to Daegu, his home city and place of origin and birth, he had always been proud of his dialect more than others. Yet, something seemed off with him, he had requested to have me for 5 of the 14 days I was told to keep free.

Why would he need 5 days for a simple photoshoot?

As we began walking through the local market, he began

“To put it simply Y/N, the boys and I decided we would have to do 3 concepts with you each, I got the most amount of days because we will be going to Japan for two of them, the other three we shall be in Daegu” he sung while spinning on his heel with hands stretched out.

“I didn’t agree to go to Japan for this stupid project! I’m going home!” This was a bad idea, I didn’t want to be a pain but my gut was telling me being alone with Tae was dangerous enough in itself, but being abroad with him.. I don’t know whether I’d be able to control my hormones around him, the sexual tension was high enough in itself. The prospect of something so romantic could jeopardise my relationship with Jimin.

He was quick yet firm to grab my wrist while pulling it up to a 90-degree angle parallel to my face.

Stopping me before I could find my way back to the train station.

“Hey, I already booked our tickets with the help of Jimin, it’s too late to go back now”

What... why would Jimin give him my passport and other details so easily if he detests our closeness?

Was he testing me? Or did he genuinely trust me?

The first shoot with Taehyung was awkward, seeing him crouched in different positions to find the angle he wanted was intimidating, I hated myself for how I admired his passion, the white shirt he wore showcased his collarbones and abnormally muscular neck. All I could think about was how his skin felt while he pranced around his chosen studio, showing me his body in all angles.

Taehyung appreciated the simpler things in his photography, he had always had an eye for vintage cameras. He’d always exclaim how he like capturing moments and snippets in time loops when it came to scenic pictures. However, with subjects he found it difficult to explore ideas as he appreciated candid shots. The first shoot took place in a modern yet minimalistic studio. Choosing soft fabrics such as satin and cotton, against a white background, mostly using the natural sunlight to capture his shots.

“Y/N, this shoot is about capturing you in your most innocent state, I want you to be vulnerable but willing” He hummed.

“Tae, what do you mean willing?” I questioned.

“I mean, as in willing to learn, I want you to be vulnerable but open-minded to the prospect of exploring a relationship” He demanded.

Yeah, Taehyung was never good at conveying what he wanted from others.

“Okay, let me give you context, you have just come out of a difficult relationship, you meet this guy, he is genuine and he makes you excited, but you are reluctant” He explained.

“Okay, I’m following...” I replied.

“Right, now I want you to be open-minded to the prospect of exploring a relationship with this new guy” He smiled.

At the time, I should’ve realised where he was going with this concept, however, I was too caught up in the moment of feeling oddly vulnerable in front of the camera. I didn’t like it, so I tried to convey what was asked of me so I could return to my comfort zone. Taehyung had made it a point to keep my face natural and the set minimal.

“Tae, what’s the general theme of your shoots?” I asked while packing up his equipment.

“Hmmm, I want to achieve three images of you in your rawest form” he hummed while folding the sheets.

“Any particular reason why?”

“I think that’s when you are the most beautiful” He showcased his boxy smile, making my heart flutter for a moment.

I felt guilty as I paused to watch the tall figure move around the studio so gracefully, I wanted to embrace him yet kick him at the same time. He knew I was with his best friend, yet he proceeded to taunt me like this?

“Ha ha, so cringey, anyway I’m going to give Jimin a call” I spoke sarcastically, quickly removing myself from the tension he caused.

Rapidly searching for Jimin in my contacts, I wanted to hear his voice, I needed to hear it, to keep me grounded! I needed to be reminded of the difference between love and lust.

“Jagiya, I miss you” I spoke. [Jagiya=Honey, sweetie, love]

“How’s Tae?” Chim asked.

Odd. Instead of responding to me, he’s concerned about Taehyung.

“He’s well I guess, you could call him if you’d like” I hissed.

“I will, I’ll see you soon”

“Yah! If you dare hang up on me Park Jimin, you’ll have another thing coming” I shouted.

“Like what?” He questioned snidely.

I hung up, his sass was too much for me right now, if anything that call pushed me even further away from him.

“Everything alright?” Taehyung was quick to attend my bruised ego.

I debated making a snide remark about his best friend but the prospect of showing Tae the cracks in what was left of my relationship would hurt what was left of my pride.

“Yeah, I’m going to back to then bnb to have a nap, I’m quite tired after today” I whispered.

“What? No! its only 2pm Y/N, you promised you’d let me show you my home city!” He pleaded.

“Yah, Taehyung-ah.. I’m not in the mood, with you being all happy around me will just make me feel guilty!”

“You argued with Jimin didn’t you.” That boy could see right through me. I didn’t realise how transparent I truly was.

“I did not.”

“You did, you’re so obvious” He sighed.

“And wha-“

In moments, I felt the boy’s strong arms wrap around my torso, pulling me into his embrace. He hot breath dispersed across my scalp. Why? Just why did he have to touch me? He was contributing to the cracks in my relationship. I felt responsible for putting my guard down.

He was the puppeteer to my heartstrings, and I was the idiot allowing myself to be played.

“It’s okay, you can cry. I’m here, I’m always here.” He spoke, placing his chin on the crown of my scalp.

My ears were pressed against his broad chest, his heart was steady and calm.

“Taehyung. I don’t mean to be rude, but can you let go of me” I said brazenly.

“uh?”

I pushed myself away from the figure. I already felt bad for being close friends to the boy, but the tension he was causing within every dynamic I shared with the boys and myself was becoming unhealthy.

The second shoot with Taehyung took place in a studio filled with heaps of flowers.

“This is the second stage of your new relationship, you’re blossoming, figuratively and literally” he skipped searching for flowers to encase my body in.

“Imagine that this is a new chapter of your life, better yet a new volume, you’re a new person and this guy brings the best out of you”

At this point, I should’ve seen what was coming, but I was still offended by Jimin’s disregard for my being and feelings, he was purposely being spiteful because he was bitter.

“Ah, one second, Jimin’s calling me” He laughed.

Wow. They are both bastards. I’d half expect Taehyung would not pick up, but I’d also hope that Jimin would contact me back first.

“Jimin told me to tell you that you should unblock him”

Oh, I forgot... I am quite irrational when I’m irritated.

“He also said that he is sorry, and that he misses you”

Suspicious, why would Jimin provide any insight into our relationship when he detests the fact that I, too am close to his beloved Taehyung.

“Ok” Is what I chose to reply with, possibly because I wanted to be an asshole, but also because I refused to show any ounce of emotion to all parties concerned.

Before I knew it, I was on a plane to Japan. Sitting next to someone whom was beautiful even when they were drooling. Taehyung had always been irritating due to the sole fact that, that boy could be dressed in a bin bag and he’d still look like a model.

“If you’re going to stare at me like that while I sleep, I’m assuming you’re giving me permission to do the same?” He spoke with his eyes still closed.

That cocky bastard, he had eyes at the side of his head now too?

“Oh no, I was just admiring the string of drool that’s hanging from your chin” I hissed, turning my head to face the seat in front of me.

Hastily, the boy wiped his string of saliva with the back of his hand. Classy.

I refused to speak to Jimin till I had landed back in SK. Taehyung and I were booked to be in Japan for 2 and a half days after all, might as well make the most of it, right?

Wrong. That’s where I committed the sinniest sin amongst sins. [not an actual word, but in this instance... is a word]

Japan was beautiful, Taehyung seemed to have perfectly timed such a trip, or it was due to his sheer luck. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was based on luck, due to his undeniably beautiful features and personality to pair.

Sakura. The season of cherry blossoms gracing the country. Taehyung had booked a hotel in Kyoto, his demeanour changed the moment we checked in at the hotel. Something sinister yet determined, became evident in his actions.

This hotel had a bath that emulated that of the hot springs famous around Japan. He had me dressed in nothing but a large white shirt. I felt even more vulnerable than I did in the first shoot. I’d hope I wouldn’t have to be in the bath. If I had known what would’ve happened after the shoot, I would’ve protested.

“Y/N, I know this seems outrageous, but I promise you that this is only in sight of our project, I want you to submerge yourself in the water” [water is wet]

“I want you to be completely wet, this is the last stage of your relationship blossoming, you don’t have to feign innocence, you can allow your body to be possessed by lust in its rawest from”

“I’m not going to judge you nor scrutinise you, but I want you to look at the camera as though you’re seeing Jimin naked for the first time” He sang to me.

He was playing a dangerous game, I was only wearing that t-shirt and a pair of knickers, didn’t he know that the material would cling to every orifice of my body. What was he playing at exactly?

“Umm, I don’t feel comfortable with doing that, Tae” I spoke stepping into the mist filled tub.

“Just do it Y/N” He demanded.

“Show me your sensual side, show me what else there is to you” He pleaded.

Was he talking to be directly or figuratively? Or both?

“Taehyu-“

“Seriously, we flew all the way here for you to do this?”

I found myself almost completely submerged under, leaving but my nose to forehead above water.

“You’ve done this for me twice already! I just want to see the real you, okay?” He reassured the knots in my stomach, that this was for art. If I should part-take in such a project, I should at least commit completely.

The transparent liquid aided in adjusting my nerves, it was warm and comforting, I just needed to use my imagination to give the shots that was required of me.

I began posing in ways that were foreign to me, mostly using my eyes to envelope Tae into a façade that appeared real, yet was entirely fake.

I wanted to take him, he was my muse in that moment. I was not making love to the camera, I was making lust to him. He was cruel to put me in such a compromising predicament, but to his surprise, I did not falter at the task at hand.

Moments passed and we were finished with his project.

“Wow, that was beautiful” He said in awe as he looked back at some of his prized shots while I continued to sway in the liquid.

He placed his camera in a dry place, reaching for the nearest towel.

Reaching for my hand, he aided in helping me out of the safe haven. I realised later that my skin was visible through the saturated material. Nipples apparent and erect. His eyes darkened before me as he wrapped the cotton cloth around my frame. Pulling me closer, he looked down on me with eyes that had a motive.

“Forgive me for what I’m about to do”

Before I could speak, I felt pressure against my lips. Soft, subtle even pressure, against my lips. He was cruel. I found myself melting into his mouth, wanting more than just a chaste kiss. His firm hands snaked around my hips, allowing the cloth to fall at our feet. Gripping tightly, I yelped, earning him access to explore my moist cavern. Knots found their way into my abdomen. I was excited as a thick fog claimed my vision.

In that moment, I did not give Jimin a second thought. It had been so long since I’d be touched like this, felt wanted like this. Taehyung respected my space, time and individualism. He was enticing, comforting and appreciative. God, he was a bastard for that.

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