#also i have an emotional attachment to the viscount who loved me

[fangirlings-things]

— Lost Without You I

anon said: hey! could you please write a song fic with anthony bridgerton, I don't have any specific song in mind, but just some angst would be perfect because you write it soooo beautifully :') hope this is ok, kissess

A/N: hey, love!! I faced this as somewhat as a challenge and it was quite amazing to write!! thank you sooo much for your words, I sincerely hope you like this 💖

*this is supposed to have two parts, so if you guys like it and want the rest, please let me know your thoughts 🥰 lots of love

TAG LIST: @for-bebbanburg ; @venusflwer ; @avrilstaro || GIF CREDIT: @fifty5hades

This is based in Freya Ridings song, Lost Without you

Fandom: Bridgerton

Pairing: Anthony Bridgerton x female reader

Word count: 6.3K

Summary: One would need to be Lady Whistledown to know about the ever existent bond between the eldest Bridgerton son, Anthony, and Lady (Y/N) Kerrington. They made a good work at hiding their intentions even from their own families. According to their plan, when the Miss came to age, they would marry each other quite fastly, since they had been courting one another through the entirety of their lives. (Y/N) Kerrington thought so too, but the Viscount's actions and decisions, changed it all.

[ I ]

“Have you two gone completely mad?”

Turning around, within the heavy rain and through the drops of water that kept falling from the sky and soaked your whole body, seeming to permanently attach your dress to your skin, you saw Anthony Bridgerton standing at the back door of his own house, protected by the rain.

He had his forehead frowned in confusion as he stared at you and his sister, Daphne, whom stood by your side at the Bridgerton’s garden. His hair was a bit of a mess, like he had been sleeping recently and his hands were on his waist. His eyes, deep brown eyes that made him look a lot older than he really was by the intensity they carried, were fixed upon you.

“Join us, brother!” Daphne invited, laughing as she turned her face upwards and enjoyed the feel of the rain directly on her features. Her arms were open alongside her body, as she embraced the rain. That was something you both liked doing together, ever since your early childhood days.

“No, I will not sister and you two really should get out of there before you fall ill!” her older brother replied and the tangible worry in his voice made you smile more largely than you did before.

“It could be fun, Anthony!” you said to him and with a spark of joy, did not fail to notice how he squeezed his lips on a thin line for a moment at hearing you call him by his first name. Such thing could be seen as a lack of manners that being if, you had not known each other through the entirety of your lives, which allowed you to comfortable around every single member of the Bridgerton family.

Your family, the Kerrington’s, had been the Bridgerton’s neighbor even before you had been born. Both families, that had a similar amount of money and same high position in society, had always been closely bond to one another. You had grown up with Daphne as your best friend, frequenting her house or she yours almost every single day. Her siblings had always been nice to you and you loved them all as if they were your own siblings.

But not Anthony.

Oh no, Anthony was a completely different thing.

There was nothing brotherly in the way you thought of him and such thoughts were only intensified by some situations you found yourself in like this very one, where he seemed to be genuinely considering your words after having just denied his sister’s. Little actions that instigated your fantasies.

“If I do, only for a moment, will you come back to the house with me afterwards?” he questioned, ever so serious, looking from you to his sister and then back at you.

You looked at Daphne who had turned her head back down and as soon as she smiled mischievously at you and raised her eyebrows, you turned back to Anthony. “We swear!”

Anthony nodded his head in agreement and then sighted heavily. His eyes went to the dark sky for a few moments, the entirety of it made of grey clouds filled with drops of water that had not yet fallen. You watched with the most absolute attention as he mumbled something to himself under his breath before finally stepping away from the house’s protection and starting to make his way towards you both.

When he reached you and Daphne, his hair was already soaked with water and was attached to his forehead. Drops of water ran down his handsome face. His white shirt was now as good as nothing, the details of his arms and chest now exposed to your wanting eyes. “Is it enough?”

“You did not have fun yet” Daphne argued immediately and with the same smile as before on her lips, kicked a puddle of water, splashing quite some in his already wet pants. The angry expression on his face made her laugh loudly her unique laugh.

You laughed also, and then found his gaze landing on yours once more. “Are you on her side, (Y/N)?” a drop of water right in that moment ran down his nose and fell in the grass. He stood close, closely than you had noticed before. Just two steps, and you could have touched his chest.

As you lost yourself in such a tempting and inappropriate thought, Lady Bridgerton appeared on the back door, in the exact same spot Anthony had been before, her mouth hanging open in shock for moment as she saw what has occurring on her own garden. “What is happening? Anthony Bridgerton! You allowed your sister and Miss (Y/N) to such recklessness?” Anthony did not even turn around at hearing his mother’s angry voice, just sighted once again and looked at Daphne when she laughed hard like before. “Come inside right now, the three of you, before you fall ill!”

“My exact same words” Anthony said, eyes on the grass, as you three obediently walked back to the inside of the Bridgerton’s house.

“Sorry to get you in trouble, brother” Daphne said, but both her tone and expression made it clear that she had not even a bit of regret. When reaching the back door, she was the first one to rush inside and disappear in the corridors after getting a blanket from her mother, leaving a trail of water behind her.  

“I apologize, Anthony” you said, smile having completely faded away now. Eyes on the floor because you refused to look him in the eye. You took no pleasure in causing him any kind of trouble, especially with his mother, whom now had stepped away to get another two blankets.  

Anthony did realize your afflictions, because he instantly replied. “All is well, (Y/N), do not worry” the softness of his tone made you raise your eyes. You were surprised to find him smiling at you. “By the end of the night, my mother will have forgiven me already”

You smiled because of the confidence on his voice. “I am glad”

You both went silent then, the heavy rain outside continuing to fall and the distant thunders seeming to be as loud as ever. With your eyes locked in one another’s, none of you said a thing. It was a peaceful moment, an intimate one. Shared by just the two of you.

“Oh, my dear, you must be freezing!” Lady Violet Bridgerton came back with two other blankets and carefully placed one around your shoulders, wrapping you in it and without even knowing, ruining one of the best moments you could think of. “What will your mother think of my hospitality if she finds out what has happened in my own garden! Come, Daphne will borrow you a dress for the evening” as she made you walk away after having given the other blanket to Anthony, you could feel his gaze burning your back.

Oh, how you wished to turn back around and stare into his eyes in peaceful silence once more.

[ II ]

“Are you nervous about the next season?” Daphne asked as she looked at you from the couch she sat in, in one of the many rooms in the Bridgerton’s house.

Having taken your place in the very couch that faced hers, you sighted. “Of course” you looked down at your hands, that were joined in your lap. “We are to be wed in the next season already. How could I not be” a pure nervous laugh escaped your mouth as you admitted so. In hopes that no one would see, by the corner of your eye, you looked over at Anthony, who was sitting at a small table, reading a book. He was always your dream when you thought of marriage.

“You should not worry too much, (Y/N)” Benedict, who had been playing with Gregory for the past twenty minutes, came to sit by your side in a relaxed position. “You will have many suitors, I am sure. Daphne, though­…” the unfinished sentence had the desired effect, because Daphne opened her mouth with an offended expression and you laughed with Benedict. In your own mind, you thanked him for being so good and helping to ease some of your tension.

“While (Y/N) marries a gentleman, Daphne will find herself being courted by an old man with no hair left in his head” Colin joined the fun and Daphne’s only response was to roll her eyes and cross her arms over her chest. Benedict though, once again laughed loudly.

“Benedict and Colin Bridgerton, stop making fun of your sister!” Lady Bridgerton said from her spot at the other side of the room as she walked towards your small group. Her expression though betrayed her tone, because she had a small pleased smile on her lips. “I am sure both of them will find a very good match and will be happily wed by the end of the next season, with gentlemens of the highest esteem”

"I hope so, mama" Daphne said truly, smiling at her mother. In the same moment, the sound of a chair being dragged against the floor caught everyone's attention and you all looked in that direction in time to see Anthony storming out the room. You frowned as you wondered what had happened, concern filling your being before you could even control your own emotions.

Not wanting to cause a fush about it, since all the others had apparently ignored his departure as something ordinary, you waited a few minutes in which you pretended to hear the words spoken by Benedict and his mother before you excused yourself and once out in the corridors, started to look for Anthony.

You found him on the library, his face was turned away from you but you could quite well imagine his mood by whatever it was that afflicted him, for the way he moved, tense and yet fast. That was not like Anthony Bridgerton at all.

"Anthony?" you called while entering the room, unsure if you should even disturb him in such time. He had gone away with the clear intention of being alone but still... you could not help it. You had to know he was well.

The sound of your voice made him turn around in the exact same instant and he went to you with a serious expression on his features, so serious it only served to increase your concern. "Anthony, what is—" before you could even finish, he walked past you and for a second you thought he was going to leave but then, he surprised you by closing the door and shuting you both inside. Alone. His expression did not change at all. You stared at him like was crazy. "Anthony, what are you doing? If your mother finds out we are in here alone she will never allow me into your house again!"

And you could not even bare that thought. Yes, Lady Violet was a nice woman, she had never objected you and Daphne at playing with the boys when you were children and as you grown up, she found it pleasing that all of you enjoyed each other's company so much but still, now that you were practically of age to marry, to be without a chaperone in a closed room with a man who was not from your family, it was a scandal. Even if that man was the one you loved with all your heart and had known since forever.

"(Y/N)" he said, taking a deep breath and walking towards you, ignoring your previous words like they meant nothing. He clearly did not see the danger. He stopped a mere step away, looking into your eyes with such meaning you suddenly found it difficult to breathe. His eyes, were as troubled as a storm day. It confused you. "I—" he stopped, took anothet deep breath, looked at his feet. Then he raised his eyes to yours again with renewed determination. "I want to—" again, he seemed to lack the words to finish his thought and clearly frustrated, looked away once more, this time at a point above your head.

All of his actions and words made no sense at all to you and frankly, you started to wonder if he was not drunk, even though you had not seen him drinking. "Anthony, you are concerning me" you said simply, and that statement made in a low, careful tone seemed to be enough to make him snap out of whatever it was that was holding him back.

"I want you to make me a promise, (Y/N)" you opened your mouth to ask him what he meant by that but he was quicker and shockingly taking your hands in his as he kept staring into your eyes, answered to your unspoken question. "I want you to promise me that if I propose to you, you will at least perhaps consider marrying me"

All air left your lungs. Surely, you had heard it wrong. There was no way Anthony Bridgerton, your ever being passion, had just expressed his intentions of proposing to you in the future. That could not be true. Dreams are not realized just like that.

"A-Anthony..." you began, heart pounding in your chest like never before.

The Bridgerton mistook your surprise by hesitation and immediately let go of your hands and stepped back, creating some distance between you both. "I apologize for being so forward. I did not mean to make you uncomfortable"

"Uncomfortable? Anthony, I do not believe I have ever been happier!" as it was his turn to frown in confusion, you were the one who approached him and smiled brightly while looking into his eyes. "I promise, of course! I want to marry you, Anthony. I really do" you looked down and slowly, joined your hands together like he had done before. "Deep down, I believed you had already noticed my affection towards you"

"It crossed my mind once or twice, but I thought it was just my mind fooling me. I dared not to believe you felt the same way I did" he chuckled, happily. You thought you had never seen him with a smile as big as that one on his face. "Hearing my brothers and mother talking about you marrying someone else in there, I could not stand it" he admitted, and a glimpse of shame seemed to cross his features for a moment. "In the next season, when you will be presented in society, I will propose to you. And if you desire to, we will get married"

Trying to control your own happiness, that was immesurable because everything seemed to be perfect, you nodded your head in agreement. "We will get married"

[ III ]

The months were passing too fast. Already, you had only a few months before the season in which you would be presented in society and it would be expected of you to be well married soon.

I will marry Anthony, you thought to yourself with a smile on your face as you enjoyed the peace and quiet of your bedroom for a while. Staring at the ceiling above your head, you had no doubt that everything would work out just fine.

If he was a man of no fortune, your father and mother (your mother especially) would for certain object to your union. But he was Bridgerton, their status and wealth were as high as your own if not bigger and so, there would absolutely be no arguing. You dared to say, she would even be thrilled by the fact that you were going to marry the one day to be Viscount.

Nothing could go wrong, you thought to yourself while smiling still. He loved you. Just as you loved him. With the same intensity and amount of desire, you had seen it in his eyes when he had spoken his mind in the Bridgerton library. You would be happy together, really happy.

Knocks on the door got your attention. "Sister, mind if I come in?"

Immediately in surprise, you sat up and laughing softly because of the joy that hearing his voice brought you, spoke. "Do come in!"

The door was opened then, and you watched as your brother slipped inside of your room, smiling down at you with a warm smile. Without saying a word he opened his arms and you without a moment of hesitation, threw yourself in his arms and hugged him tightly. "I have missed you too, dear" he said with a laugh escaping his mouth.

Only after several moments you stepped back, to be able to really look at him. Thomas Kerrington, your older brother, was smiling as he looked at you. He wore his uniform, and he looked beautiful in it. The pride of the family, the youngest soldier ever made Coronel because of his courage and whom  recieved the command of complete troops of soldiers only weeks later. Since he had joined the Royal Army, you barely saw him twice a year. He was too valuable to be away from action often and you understood that but still, you missed your brother.

"How long will you be staying?" you asked while pulling him towards your bed by the hand, and making him sit down with you.

"Just a couple of days" he answered, smile fading a bit just as you did. Thomas still squeezed your hand in his. "My regiment is being moved and as we are going to be facing hard months soon, I thought it would be nice to see my family" he watched your eyes for a few moments and then, opened a bright smile again and put the sadness aside, like it was typical of Thomas. He always knew how to bring happiness into a room. "Are you excited for the next season?" the young Coronel was not married himself. Having since very soon been involved in the Army's business and interests, court a wife had not been a priority to him and still was not.

"I am, actually" you admitted, looking down at your joined hands as all your thoughts about Anthony and the prospect of marrying him came rushing back into your mind. You and Thomas had always been close, really close. He was a incredible brother who loved his little sister very much and was always there for her. The thought of confiding in someone seemed nice, and whom could be better to do that with than your brother? "I already know who I want to marry, brother"

"Is that so?" raising your eyes to meet his, you saw that he was still smiling. "And is he a good man?" you nodded your head, and Thomas inspected your eyes with his. "Are you sure he will make you happy, sister?"

"I have no doubt" you replied, confident.

Thomas chuckled by your certainty. "Very well then, I guess I have no reason to object to such union" he passed one of his arms around your shoulders and brought you close to him, so you would lay your head on his shoulder. It was so good, to have him there in that moment. "Will you tell me his name, perhaps?"

You thought about it for a moment. He was your brother, you were sure he would not tell anyone. And even though he and Anthony had never been very close friends, they always got along well. But you should not, not when you and Anthony had come into an agreement of keeping it a secret. At least for now. "Come back during the season and, perhaps, you will get here in time to our wedding" you said and the sound of Thomas laugh filled the bedroom.

"Does it have a date already?" accompanying him in laughter, you appreciated your brother's presence. Very much.

[ IV ]

"It does sound like an interest book" you told Eloise with honesty, after having just read some pages of the book she had been reading herself and after some discussion about the quality of it with Daphne, asked you to give an opinion on it.

"Thank you, (Y/N)" Eloise smiled brightly at you and then extended the smile towards Daphne, who sitting on the couch across from you two, rolled her eyes because you had taken her sister's side. "At least you know how to appreciate a good book"

"Perhaps you should consider respecting my opinion, Eloise" Daphne told her younger sibling, with a bit of annoyance in her voice. Those two were always bickering with each other and you, as the oldest best friend, was always around to witness it.

"I do respect your opinion, sister, I simply think that it is not a wise one" you gave the book back to the younger Bridgerton while she said so.

Daphne seemed to be ready to give her a proper reply when Anthony entered the room. His eyes met yours and he smiled tenderly at you for a moment before looking at his sisters. "Have you both seen mother and father?"

"They went to accompany the Kerrington's to the market" Daphne said, referring to your parents, and you nodded in agreement.

"Oh, well" he placed his hands on his waist and sighted. "I shall wait for them to return, then"

"Continuing to plan your travel, brother?" Eloise asked, opening the book back to the page in which she had stopped reading.

"Travel?" you could not stop yourself before echoing the word, surprise quickly taking a hold of you. Your eyes went to Anthony instantly and by the expression on his face, you saw that he was not pleased with Eloise for having said so much.

"Anthony has decided he is going to travel for a while, explore the world alone and live some adventures perhaps" Daphne said, also turning around to look at her brother. "Colin will not stop talking about how much he wants to do the same one day"

"Oh, I see" it took all you had to maintain a natural, comfortable expression on your face. He was going to travel. Just a few months before the season in which you should be married. How long would he stay away? When would he return? Would he ever? All of those thoughts filled your mind and made your heartbeat get faster and faster. You dared not to say anything. No one knew about your intentions to marry one another, and you had agreed to keep it in that way.

Anthony, knowing you so well, clearly saw through your contained emotion. "I just remembered, (Y/N)! Benedict is asking for your opinion in one of his latest sketches, will you accompany me?" it was a lie. You could see that it was, even though his sisters did not see through the fake smile on his face.

Forcing a smile and nodding in agreement briefly, you got up, telling Daphne you would be right back, to which she agreed. After that, you followed Anthony out of the room and to one of the corridors close to the kitchen, where there was no one else by that time. Anthony stopped there, turned around to look at you and sighted heavily because of your sad expression. "I did not mean for you to find out like that"

You raised your eyes to meet his at that, in pure disbelief. "And how was I supposed to find out? Through Daphne, when you had already left?"

"I was going to tell you tomorrow, at dinner" he said in a rush, looking around after a moment to make sure there was absolutely no one there. He took the time to make sure his voice was low as he spoke. "Nothing has changed, (Y/N). I will marry you. This travel, it will take two months, maybe a bit more but nothing great. The season is in three months. I will be back in time, I promise"

You stared into his eyes deeply, worry filling your expression still. Under your inspection, he seemed so genuine and decided. It felt like he had everything planned, had thought everything through. "Are you sure this is what you want?" you asked then, not thinking of yourself, but of him. Travels made alone could be dangerous. And if something happened to him... you did not even wanted to consider that idea.

"I am, (Y/N)" he stepped even closer to you and held your hands, like he had a habit of to. You did like the familiarity of that simple touch. "I want to marry you, but first, I would like to see the world. Later, I shall be all yours"

The honesty in his voice made you smile, emotion was so strong your eyes went blurry with tears. "Then you must go. Do as you desire and when you get back, I will be eager to know all about what you have seen"

Anthony smiled. Letting go of one of your hands and bringing it to cup your face, he sighted. "You are the goodest person I have ever known"

You smiled, leaning into his touch.

Before, you had been nervous by the arrival of the social season. Now, all you wanted was for it to come quickly. As quickly as possible.

[ V ]

"If I may say, you look astonishing tonight, Lady Kerrington" Lord Edwards said, with a polite smile on his lips after having just given you a glass of a drink he had gotten from the Queen's table.

The ball had begun sometime around an hour before. The ball thrown by the Queen herlself that declared opened the social season. You were now, officially able to be courted and expected to be married by the end of it, if you had success. You had gone with your mother and father and as they had stepped away to talk to some friends, you had been left alone in the room and seeing the opportunity, Lord Edwards had approached you.

He was a gentleman, Lord Edwards. He was young, handsome, quite wealthy and his manners were flattering. By a young Lady's, like yourself, point of view, he should be the perfect husband. But not for you.

Because he was not Anthony.

Just to think of his name, it brought back the pain of missing him. Since the day in which he left for his travel, you had not seen him again. Of course, his journey had been cut short because his father, the Viscount Bridgerton, had died tragically all of the sudden, at a young age. It made Anthony have to make the arrangements to return sooner than expected.

And he did. A month and a half after he had parted, he was forced to return because he was now, the Viscount. As the eldest son, he had the responsibility of being there for his family, especially in such a tragic time.

Until this very day, you had not seen him since his return. As Daphne's best friend, you were still always in the Bridgerton residence, after her father's death even more, because you provided the young Lady the comfort she needed. There, you only caught glimpes of him once or twice, a rushed greeting that ended up with him leaving the room seconds later.

You did not blame him for it, of course not. His life had changed so much and so suddenly that it would be a challenge for everyone in his position. He should concentrate in the matters of importance for his family, it was needed. You would not bother him with affairs that were not urgent at the time. No, everything was set, also. He would propose sometime after doing some courting in the season, and you two would get happily married. And that would be it.

Looking around the ballroom, everytime the doors were opened you would look, expecting to see Daphne arrive. It would be nice to have a friend in the same situation you were in. As Lord Edwards went on in a conversation about his great interest in social events, you looked down at your dress. It was a beautiful blue dress, made with soft fabric. The little details here and there made it even more beautiful. Part of your hair had been pulled up and placed there delicately while leaving the rest of strands released freely, in a hair style that you did not fail to notice, got quite some attention from some of the other young Ladys.

Lord Edwards had just began his affirmation of how much he enjoyed the city rather than the country, when the doors were again opened and this time when you looked, your expectations were indeed achieved.

Daphne had just arrived. She looked absolutely gorgeous, making you smile instantly. At her right side stood her mother, Lady Bridgerton, ever an elegant woman and at her left side, stood Anthony.

Oh, the way your pulse accelerated at the sight of him. He was absolutely handsome, wearing the most formal clothes he had. His dark hair was as always that elegant mess you never got enough of. His eyes were inspecting the room, you smiled thinking that perhaps, he could be looking for you.

"Will you excuse me, Lord Edwards?"  you said suddenly to the Lord, interrupting him in the middle of a sentence and he, a bit sad and yet completely polite, just nodded his head and bid you farewell.

You found yourself walking towards the small Bridgerton group, feet seeming to carry you there on their own even though you did know it would be reasonable to wait. But no, you could not help it.

"(Y/N) you look absolutely gorgeous!" Daphne exclaimed when she saw you, smiling as you stopped right in front of her. "Look, Mama, how beautiful she is!" you felt your cheeks get a bit red under your friend's compliments and the fact that you knew, that Anthony was hearing them and beside her, inspected you with his eyes also.

"My Lady Kerrington, how your mother must be proud of having such a lovely daughter!" Lady Bridgerton said, and that filled you with joy.

"I am sure you should be the one who is proud, Lady Bridgerton, because I have no doubt in my mind that Daphne will be the diamond of the season" your friend smiled as she made sense to your words and then, as you fell silent for a moment, you turned to her left to look at Anthony, whom had stayed silent until them. As your eyes met, it was as if sparks were flying all around you. "Viscount Bridgerton"

"Lady Kerrington" he replied. The kind of smile you expected to see in his features was not there.  His eyes did not stare at you for a long while before he looked away. That was unsual. Before you could make up some conversation, a Lord came closer and asked Daphne for a dance. You watched with a smile as he stepped away with the man and then, as Lady Bridgerton came into a conversation with Lady Danbury, Anthony surprised you by stepping closer to you. "Lady Kerrington, mind if we have a word?" 

"Of—" you did not even finished before he had already began to walk away from the doors, where the greatest amount of people were gathered around. Frowning, you rushed as graciously as you could after him, stopping only to leave your glass, that had been given to you by Lord Edwards, on a table.

Anthony only stopped walking when you were both close to one of the walls of the room, just enough away from others so no one could hear what you spoke about or if they did, would not pay much attention to it. Facing each other, after so long, it felt amazingly good. "It is nice to see you, (Y/N)" his voice was low, so no one would hear him call you by your first name.

You smiled, eyes meeting in a way that made your heart beat even faster, which you did not think was quite possible. "It is nice to see you too, Anthony" your voice was as low as he was. "I have missed—"

"I have to tell you something, (Y/N)" he cut you off shortly, eyes not on yours them. There was something in Anthony that did not seem like him at all. His jaw was clenched, his body was all uptight. He seemed more distant to you now than he had ever been in his travel on the other side of the world.

"Very well" you took a moment to be able to get those words out, because all of your happiness had already began to slip away. Surely, there were bad news coming ahead. The way he looked... or even better, did not look at you, that could not mean nothing good. "What is it?"

Anthony did not speak quite instantly. He looked around the room for a while, then took a deep breath. "I can not marry you, (Y/N)"

That felt like a punch. Right to your stomach, making you sick and your head spin like you had suddenly been privated from air itself. And even though you had to fight back the tears of confusion that dared to fall from your eyes, Anthony did not seem to share your emotion at all. He looked stern, decided.

"W-what happened?" you asked, voice trembling and honestly one string away from failing completely. He did not say anything. You were the one to take a deep breath then. "Anthony, look me in the eye" and only then he did. He looked right at you and you felt your heart break in a million pieces. "I understand if because of your father and your new title, you do not find marriage the most important thing right now. I really understand. You must have enough duties and responsibilities at the moment. But there is no problem. I will wait for you, Anthony. I will—"

"I do not want you to wait for me, (Y/N)" Anthony's tone was decisive. "It has nothing to do with my father or my responsibilities"

Your confusion only grew more and more and what you thought would be an amazing evening, was quickly revealing itself to be an awful one. "Then what—"

"I have someone else" he said and before you could even take in that information, he went on with his narrative. "I met her after I came back from my travel, in the occasion of my father's death. I have been with her ever since. I was with her before I came here today. I have been avoiding you all this time, because I did not have the courage to tell you about this. But I figured that this could no longer be postponed"

Your vision was so blurry you could not even see his face clearly. He had someone else. He did not want to marry you. "You said you loved me" were the words you spoke. You hoped no one was looking at you two because if they were, you had no doubt about how crushed you looked.

That simple phrase seemed to finally get a reaction from Anthony. He looked away from you for another moment, took another deep breath. And then, looked back into your eyes. "I am sorry, (Y/N). But she is the one that I truly love" and even though he showed a small reaction then, it was not even close to the amount required to such matter. He was dealing with you as if  you were a simple affair that had to be taken care of. He had indeed become the Viscount, after all.

You swallowed the knot in your throat, spent countless silent moments trying to fight back the tears. And you stared into Anthony's eyes, and made him see just how much you loved him. Just how much he had hurt you. "I wish you happiness, Viscount Bridgerton"

You saw that Anthony swallowed dry. "(Y/N)..."

But you did not stay to hear what he had to say. You turned around and without being able to contain yourself made a run to the door, attracting everyone's attention to you. Tears fell from your eyes and you were so desoriented that you ran right into someone's chest. Cleaning the tears away with your hands, you met Lord Edwards eyes. "Lady Kerrington, are you well?" Without answering him, you continued to run to the door and only stopped when you felt the cold air of the night on your skin.

You cried, hurt by a man who had just made clear he did not want to marry you. He did not want you at all. You wanted to leave. You wanted to lock yourself in your bedroom and not get out anytime soon. Maybe never.

But most of all, what you really wanted but could not have, was your older brother. The comfort only he could give you in that moment.

[ VI ]

Dear readers,

From this author's perspective, after last night's ball, this social season looks quite promising. Young Ladies were presented into society in search of husbands, mothers have inspected their suitors and the Queen watched it all from her throne, seeming entertained. The night was filled with courting and dances, really a magical night for all the debutantes'.

It came to this author's ears though, that the night was not so magical for everyone. It seems that the young Lady Kerrington and Viscount Bridgerton were seen sharing a very meaningful conversation before she left the event in tears. What did they say to each other, is the question that remains. More specifically, what could the Viscount have said that made the young Lady feel so heartbroken?

Let us be attentive to the upcoming events, dear readers. If I learn to know something interesting in the future, and I always do, you all will the be the ones I share the not so secret with.

This author was a feeling, that many more scandals are yet to come.

Lady Whistledown

#imagine #x reader #fanfic #imagines #one shot #bridgerton imagine #bridgerton #bridgerton fanfic #bridgerton one shot #anthony bridgerton #anthony x reader #anthony bridgerton imagine #anthony bridgerton fanfic #anthony bridgerton one shot

[mommymooze]

A King and His Wife

(or part 2 of A Prince and A Cleric)

Dimitri and Reader. mentions of angst, emotional hurting and comfort

Relaxing in the parlor attached to the King’s rooms in the castle, you enjoy tea with Dimitri and Dedue, recalling the aftermath of his birthday party.

“Felix trained and sparred and drilled Sylvain for half the day. He let Mercedes come in, heal him, and made Sylvain spar with him for another two hours!” You laughed, slapping your hand on your knee.

“It was two days before he could steadily hold the reigns of his horse to return to Gautier.” Dedue added with a wise smile.

“Ahh my love, you are quick witted and able to think on your feet. Tomorrow your talents will be needed when we break the news to the Council.” Dimitri frowns slightly. There are issues with several Council members pushing their own agendas that do not align with the heavy focus on rebuilding the country and reconciling the differences with other nations.

The Council is called together. The King is seated at the head of the table, Felix to his right (as his right hand man) and you are seated to his left (closest to his heart.)

Already members of the council are arguing about the rearranged seating as Dimitri leads you into the room. He seats you first, takes his own chair, the rest of the room is allowed to sit.

Dimitri calls the room to order. “The first item on the order of business will be the presentation of my betrothed.” Dimitri introduces you to the council.

Fenton of Kleiman is the first to bang the table and object. “She is not of noble blood. She does not have a crest. Do we know if she is of good breeding stock?”

“Agreed!” Shouts Horatio of Mateus. “We have provided multiple lists of eligible candidates for marriage, and you have not entertained a single one!”

Sylvain of Gautier’s voice sounds over the rabble, “We are no longer emphasizing the presence of a crest as being a requirement for ruling. It contributes nothing to the ability to manage a territory or a kingdom.”

“Shut up, the lot of you.” Felix of Fraldarius insists, rattling his sword at his belt.

King Dimitri stands, addressing the council. “We have discussed the need for a Queen Consort frequently and unnecessarily more than we should. The ruling of the country should be first and foremost in our thoughts. Taking care of the people and the land is our priority, not the bloodline of the King. The future Queen Consort has been chosen, you wish to argue with me about my choice? I will not stand down. I am the King, this is my decision, you will abide by it.” He sits and takes your hand in his, showing his support for you.

You stand before the court, looking each of them in the eye as you speak. “I have provided my family tree, each level producing multiple children, thus proving I am of good breeding stock, though I am not a farm animal. I am a well respected and talented cleric, fully capable of seeing to the health and wellbeing of the King and his offspring. He finds my presence acceptable and supportive which is more than what I can say about most of you.”

Fenton wishes to debate. “Our candidates are perfectly upstanding and qualified for the position of queen. How can a commoner like you provide support like one who has been completely educated in the manner and etiquette of nobility? How will you be able to gain the support of the people?”

“Lords, Dukes, Viscounts, and Margraves are to govern the lands, provide aid to the citizens and also provide aid to the kingdom.” You begin, your voice strong and confident. “When the call for aid came from the kingdom, exactly how many troops did you provide to assist with taking down the Empire? Do you know how to gain the support of the people of your territory? I can provide documentation from thirty well known and multiple extremely wealthy residents of your territory who state they completely have a lack of faith and confidence in your ruling of your lands.”

You continue, “You have one child, coming from parents who birthed a single child and their parents the same. You would claim that to be unacceptable breeding stock as dictated by recorded council documentation. As far as your personal traits and idiosyncrasies possibly passed on to your descendants, I have an entire stack of documents recommending not to have a marital union between the King and any of your heirs.”

Flavius of Rhodos raises his voice. “Have you accomplished anything toward providing aid for the citizenry?”

“The health and wellbeing of the citizens of this country is always of concern. I have consulted with the school of Sorcery to expand their curriculum to include learning pathways for those desiring to learn healing and providing for the health and wellness of others. I have also established multiple healing stations throughout the city here and expanding out into other territories. Having a healer within a few minutes distance, instead of several hours ride can be a matter of life and death for many people. They also provide multiple areas of education to the people to improve their wellbeing. The people welcome these units within their areas. I am in close contact with each of these units, monitoring the health of the citizens and aid in the prevention of outbreaks of sicknesses and diseases.”

“The infirmary here at the castle is open and free to all citizens who have need of medical treatment. We are currently scouting for a location of a multibed facility outside of the castle walls, making it easier for citizens to access. “

“Should you wish, we could take a walk amongst the citizens of the city and see if I have their approval. You do go amongst your citizens, do you not? See the people at work building the cities, providing food and goods for others, laborers producing the goods, etcetera? They need leaders to lead, protect them and support them. There have been many stories of the heroics of the citizens when Cornelia was defeated. It was not only soldiers, the trained fighters, that took her and her army down. It was the people. Brave citizens who could no longer live under her iron fisted and intolerable rule.”

Dimitri stands, addressing the council, “Whether or not you approve, this is my betrothed. The announcements will be going out within the next few days. Any disagreements can be taken up with her directly.”

The meeting turns to the next item on its agenda, building better roads between territories. The discussion is a bit less antagonistic, however as usual, delayed by nonsense such as the color of rock to be used for the roads.

The council breaks for lunch. Dmitri leads you to a private room with Dedue, Felix and Sylvain. A light lunch with beef and sauteed seasonal vegetables is on order, Felix hides some vegetables under his napkin.

“Wow. What things are in your folder for Kleiman that would nail him against the wall?” Sylvain asks, waving a fork in the air.

“I will not reveal his secrets to you.” You answer quietly. “He knows what he has or has not done.”

Sylvain can’t let it go, “Where do you get the intel from? Do you have a spy network?”

“Heavens no,” you shake your head. “Clerics talk and discuss more than healing treatments, especially if they are not respected for their work. It may be in your best interest to take very good care of the clerics in your territories, hmm?”

.

A nasty flu is rampaging through the kingdom. It is difficult to prevent transmission when businesses must keep open, trade must still go on. Even you, no matter how careful you are, can be the victim of a winter cold.

Therefore, this morning you find it difficult to get out of bed. Your head pounding, coughing, stuffy nose, your body surrounded by soiled handkerchiefs.

Lozenges and honey with hot tea and lemon can soothe some of the symptoms, but you must suffer through two weeks of coughing, sneezing, wheezing, and nose blowing.

Dimitri is terrified at the thought of you being ill. You order he is not to see you, you are sequestering yourself to keep him from becoming ill as well. This mandate only lasts a day before he has mentally worked his mind into a frenzy thinking you are going to die any at any moment.

Breaking through the door of your chambers in a panic, Dimitri finds you reading a book, lying on a couch with your feet up, covered in warm blankets and a hot fire blazing in the fireplace to help you deal with the chills from your cold.

Dimitri falls to his knees before you, gently grasping your tiny hands within his, tears flowing down his cheeks.

“My beloved! I cannot stand being apart from you when you are so ill and knocking at death’s door! I dropped everything to be at your side. Whatever is within my power, I will summon it and bring it to your aide. Tell me what I can do to make you feel better.” The man is literally trembling in fear.

You softly sigh. “First of all. Calm down. It’s a simple cold.” You pat Dimitri on his head as he rests his cheek on your stomach. “Second, you should not be in here. I am ripe with germs and such, it is only a matter of days, and you will have the same issues.”

Dimitri’s face is fraught with worry, “If I could take this from you today, I certainly would my love. I cannot stand to witness your suffering. “

“Yes, I have a cold, but I am not truly suffering,” you smile at him. “There is only so much healing to help, however I have all of the palliative comforts at hand to make the illness less annoying. The only thing needed is time. Next week I will be back on my feet and as annoying as usual.” You chuckle which leads into a coughing fit. You hear Dimitri whining as a result. You pat his head to comfort him.

He nuzzles his nose into the blanket covering your stomach. “Can I get you anything my beloved? Tea, a cookie? Soup?”

You grab another handkerchief and make awful noises into it. “I think you buried your nose into germ central. I am changing your diet immediately to boost your immune system and metabolism. You are definitely getting this cold,“ you groan.

“I am happy to share your germs, my love. I am certain they are the best germs I will ever have,” he smiles as he kisses your fingers.

“You are delirious already,” you cough as you smile back at him.

“You say I have the germs already, so can I kiss you again?” Dimitri weakly blushes, looking terribly deprived.

“No. You cannot. You exposed yourself to this and I’m not encouraging that type of behavior.” You write a list of things he is to be eating every day and hand it to him. Dedue confirms receipt of the instructions by coming to the door. He does not need to enter the room and become exposed too. You also recommend Dedue add the list of items to his own dietary intake, boosting his resistance to the cold as well.

You bend down and kiss Dimitri’s forehead.

“You missed.” Dimitri moves closer to your face. You frown...but he looks so adorable, and you know he’s been exposed.

Sigh, you cannot resist him. You’ve been missing him as well, and not feeling at 100% and wanting some comfort you give in. He picks you up and places you on his lap. Now you have the heat of the roaring fire on one side, and Dimitri on the other. Toasty warm you fall asleep in his arms.

.

As you are nearly recovered from your cold, Dimitri is hit with it. It starts with a sore throat and runny nose. The next day at the council meeting he sneezes so hard the papers in front of him scatter about the room. After retrieving his notes, you call for any critical items needing to be discussed right away as he will be unavailable for the next few days, possibly a week.

Viscount Kleiman commences a long winded speech about the need for support in his territory because of whatever infernal reason he has. After his third and varied repetition of the same thing you have lost your patience.

“Viscount Kleiman, get to the point of the matter. If you keep blathering on and on without saying anything new, I will personally count it as an attempt on the Kings life and have you arrested.“ You declare as you feel Dimitri’s forehead which is cold and clammy and his gaze is becoming unfocused.

The Viscount glares at you. You give your ‘nobody wins and argument with the King’s physician’ look in return.

“We will table this matter until the King’s return.” Viscount Kleiman plops into his chair. “Usurping bitch!” He declares under his breath.

Dimitri stands up, banging his fist on the tabletop, causing a huge part of the table to splinter into pieces. “I am sick, not deaf. How dare you say such horrific and disrespectful things to my betrothed! And directly in front of me and the council to witness! Guards, apprehend and restrain him. Once I have recovered from my illness, we will have a conversation. To the dungeons with him.”

The Viscount screams in protest as he is removed from the council meeting.

“If there are no other matters to address, we shall consider this meeting adjourned.” Felix announces as you help Dimitri back to his chambers.

.

Dedue immediately heads to the kitchen to prepare his special Duscur chicken soup. You found it tasty and suitable for clearing your sinuses, helping you breathe. Dimitri does not get the fever you had, however he does have a nasty cough that doesn’t respond to treatment. His voice is barely above a whisper and throat is incredibly sore. Healing magic can only do so much. After the delicious dinner, you get him to sleep at night with a hot toddy, however halfway through the night he wakes up having a huge coughing fit. Using all of the pillows you can find, you prop him up to sleep, healing his headache to relax him. Dimitri whines as you head towards the door.

“Please my love, I can relax better when you are close to me.” Dimitri begs, his voice strained and soft.

You climb into the bed behind him, resting on the pillows so you can card your fingers through his hair. Dimitri falls asleep within a few minutes. You fall asleep not long behind him. Dedue wakes you in the morning as he comes to check on his highness. You leave as quietly as you can, not wishing to disturb his rest.

Over a week later, things calm again as Dimitri recovers from his cold. Viscount Kleiman is released, instructed to return to his territory and is ordered to send a representative knowing respect.

.

You are exiting your quarters as Dimitri and Felix return from a sparring match.

“Why can’t you simply elope?” Felix growls. “Nobody likes those stupid parties anyway.”

“Felix! It is an important celebration for the country that the King is taking a bride.” Dimitri expounds. “Everyone wants to congratulate you and watch the ceremony and celebrate with you in their own special way. They expect to have a large and joyful celebration. It represents a change in our cultural identity. Marriage is a blessing and a celebration of two lives joining to be together until death do they part.”

“It is a waste of time and money,” Felix mumbles.

“It is sharing a blessed moment with your friends and family, a celebration of two hearts joining to become one.”

“It’s another excuse for a party.” Felix retorts. “And dancing. Can’t stand the whole of it.”

Dimitri stops their walk down the hall, holding Felix by his shoulder. “Does that mean you do not want to be my best man?”

“I never said that.” Felix answers as he looks away.

.

A few days later at the end of another long day of meetings for the king, you share tea with him and Dedue in Dimitri’s parlor.

“Dedue, we have known each other for quite some time.” You begin, “I do not have any remaining family to escort me down the aisle. As a dear friend, would you do me this honor?”

“You would have me…” he responds. He leaves out his obvious thoughts.

“A man I know well,” you answer, “who has been a part of my relationship with Dimitri and assisted us countless numbers of times to the point of saving both of our lives in the many battles we fought together. “

Dedue silently thinks, stands and bows, “I would be honored.”

Wedding plans are discussed and moved forward, however there seems to be more to add to the list every day. Mercedes and Dedue will be working with the cooks. They can’t make all the food themselves, they will supervise the kitchens. Dedue is also working on special flowers for the bouquet.

.

This morning Dedue is accompanying you to the dressmakers for the fitting of the wedding dress. Gilbert has taken his place as the Kings escort for the day. They are leaving from the second meeting of the morning to return to the Kings chambers for lunch.

“Your majesty, if I may have a word with you.” Gilbert announces.

“Certainly, Gilbert. What is on your mind?”

Gilbert opens the doors to the Kings chambers for him. “I am well aware your wedding is coming soon, however it is my duty as one of your teachers to address the elephant in the room.

Dimitri’s eyes go wide. “Please explain.”

“You are getting married to the love of your life, as you say. However, your first and foremost thoughts should always be of the kingdom. Women can be manipulative and cloud your mind and judgement regarding issues they have an interest in. It is your duty to put the kingdom first and foremost in your every thought. Do not let them influence your decisions.”

“You truly believe my fiancée could do something to usurp the ruling of the kingdom?” Dimitri is in complete shock.

“Women have been known to ‘throw men under the wagon’ for much less. You must be aware of everything around you. Throughout history women have used men for their power.” Gilbert bows.

“Thank you for your wisdom.” Dimitri bows.

.

A lovely dinner with Dimitri takes place. He takes a sip of water. “Let us speak of a hypothetical situation.“

You’re not sure where this is coming from, however you will entertain his thoughts. “Of course, go on, my sweet,” You answer, taking a bite of sweet potato.

“What if tomorrow the kingdom was overrun and I were no longer royalty. Demoted to a job, say a ditch digger. Would you still marry me?” His bright blue eye searches your face with a look of worry.

You smile at him softly. “I did not fall in love with the King. I fell in love with you. Long before you were the king, I fell in love with you when we were back in the academy. I still loved you when your mind was clouded with guilt. I did everything I could to keep you alive and healthy. Everything I could to bring you stability and back to health. I promise to do that for you every day. If you are a King, or a ditch digger, or a man who mucks out the stables, you are the man I love. Not your work.”

“Oh, my beloved!” Dimitri exclaims as he holds his arms out so you can cuddle with him. He gently puts his arms around you and kisses your face and neck with great fervor.

.

Dress fittings, picking out materials and fabrics seem to be a weekly occurrence. It is Felix’s turn to take you to the dressmaker.

“That is what you’re going to wear for the wedding?” He spits. “The length is impractical, you’re going to be on the move all day and night. The color makes you look pasty white. It’s enough we’ve been inside all winter, but you look whiter than snow.“

“Eep” you squeal as you move and a pin jabs you in the side. “Where were you when I started this process! I should have had you along instead of Annette. “

Felix studies the dress further, his frown burrowing deeper into his forehead. “Why did you go with this style anyway? The biggest question is why are you marrying the Boar?”

“It resembles what Dimitri’s mother wore when she married to his father. Tradition must be honored. The dress was lost in the war and I want to honor her.” You smile trying to talk and hold your breath, so you won’t get stabbed by another pin. “Because I love him.”

“Hmmm.” Felix grabs his chin in thought. “Not a bad intention, but where are you going to hide your daggers?”

“Daggers?“ The word causes you to twist to look at him and you get pricked by another pin.

“You should not go to the wedding unarmed. It is when you are most vulnerable when the enemy strikes! Always be prepared. Assassins are everywhere since the downfall of the empire, fool.” He chastises as he looks at the door and window for any signs of movement.

“Oh Felix, never change! Have a word with the dressmaker to make a pocket for a dagger or two if you like,” you laugh.

“What about dragging all of that flowy dress behind you all night?” Felix points to the train.

“Well, perhaps there is a way we can tie it up, sort of a bustle in the back so it will be free from the ground.”

“Don’t let them lower the neckline. You should be prudent being the Queen and all,” he slightly blushes.

“A bit more lace should help, I’ll consult with the seamstress. You’ve been a great help, Felix.” You smile

Felix ignores the compliment, “You should also work on fighting with a dagger. I want you in the training grounds with me tomorrow.”

.

Cake tasting with Dedue, Annette and Mercedes takes forever. Dimitri is no help, you know of his inability to taste, you almost want to join him sitting this out. There are so many cakes. You fill your napkin with tasted cake to ensure your dress will still fit for the wedding. Annette asks for more and more kinds of cakes for testing, Dedue has had enough and Mercedes wants them all to be fluffier.

The invitations created by the kingdom calligraphers are absolutely perfect. There are a few notes added to specific invitations. Claude is invited, his must go out first to be certain to arrive on time. Balthus is invited, with the specific request that he wear a shirt.

The months fly quickly by. The snow is beginning to melt, inch by inch. Things are slowly coming together for the wedding. There are still a million things to be done, a million decisions to be made so you are here, in the training grounds, Felix showing you the best ways to wield a dagger.

“No, grip it like this.” He changes how your hand holds the dagger. “You don’t want them to easily knock it from your hand. Have a firm grip, but not too tight.”

You take a deep breath, trying to do what he says. You take a few swings at him, missing him by a mile.

“What is wrong with you? You were fine yesterday.” Felix chastises you.

This sends you over the edge. You cry hysterically. “I d-don’t know.” You sob, covering your face with your hands.

“Fuck. Why are you crying?” Felix looks around, for anyone, anything to help him. He leads you to a bench.

You sit and let loose your tears. “I can’t believe I am doing this. Why did I think I can do this? I’m a commoner. He is a King! So many people hate me for this. We should call it off. Have him marry a noble or someone better suited.” You are breathing strangely, you can’t catch your breath.

Felix panics alongside you, slapping your back. He grabs your face, forcing you to look up. “Look at me.”

You try to turn away, but he holds your face in his hands.

“Look at me.” Felix is frowning. “Breathe, okay? Take a deep breath.”

You try to and fail, holding your breath and closing your eyes.

“Breathe in.” He orders. You do.

After a few seconds he tells you to breathe out. You comply.

“Now. Tell me what’s wrong.” Felix wishes he were anywhere else but here.

Taking a deep breath you confess, “I was walking in the corridor and overheard nobles talking of what a poor choice the King has made for a wife. I will ruin the court, I have no business being in that position. I will make the kingdom look bad and bring them to ruin.”

“Bullshit.” Felix grunts, crossing his arms. “You are the best thing that has happened to Dimitri in a long, long time. If anyone can keep the boar sane, it’s you. You have common sense, something most of the nobles have never heard of. You’re going to be a great queen. We’re here for you. We support you.”

“You do? You’re always questioning my decisions, not that I make many.”

“If you’re not sure, ask me or Sylvain. No, ask me, only me. Don’t listen to a word Gilbert has to say. As far as those bastards talking, tell me who they are and I’ll cut their tongues out.”

You somehow chuckle through the tears that have been slowing down.

“Now get up and attack me. Pretend I’m one of those losers,” he says pulling you up from the bench to face him.

.

The afternoon with Dimitri is pleasant as you both have time to relax. The tea is well enjoyed as you both look out the window. The snow is clear from the paths in the gardens, sometimes you can see the dirt here and there. It is warming nicely.

“Are you excited my beloved?” Dimitri asks as he kisses your head just above your ear.

“Excited and terrified and happy and anxious and a hundred other feelings at once.” You nuzzle into his neck.

He nods, “I feel the same. I look forward to having you at my side for the rest of my life.”

“So romantic and beautiful. I’m going to have to tell Sylvain you have bested him at charming a woman.”

“I only charm you?” Dimitri chuckles.

“You charm me, you entrance me, you make me melt, my heart flutters hearing your name. My knees go weak every time you kiss me,” you say as you snuggle closer to his chest. He surrounds you with his strong yet gentle arms, kissing you like a starving man.

.

Two days before the wedding, the flowers arrive, the desserts are complete and the cooks are preparing the huge banquet of food to be served. The castle is filling up with guests, many more are still on their way.

Dinner is accompanied by huge booms from thunderstorms. The storm lashes and crashes against the lands throughout the night not ceasing until morning.

Reports to the king show many roads to the castle are ruined, washed out by the terrible storm and heavy running waters. There is flooding in some areas and soldiers are sent to assist the people.

Byleth, the Archbishop and officiator of the wedding, is not here yet, nor is part of the orchestra hired to play at the wedding and reception.

Reports are pouring in identifying damaged roads, downed bridges, causing travel within the kingdom become difficult and some places impassible. You head to the castle infirmary, filled with injured people whose homes have collapsed, or hit by trees falling over striking and harming anyone unfortunate enough to be in their path. Rolling up your sleeves, you assist the clerics with healing the wounded, binding injuries and reassuring family members their loved ones are well cared for.

You finish healing the broken arm of a young man who was pulled out from under a fallen brick wall, wrapping the splint on his arm and requesting he come back in a few days to have it checked when you hear a roaring voice behind you.

“There you are!” Shouts Felix, not caring if people are recuperating and trying to sleep at this late hour. “Is this where you have been all day? The whole fucking castle is looking for you. We thought you were kidnapped or worse!” Felix grabs you tightly by your arm, now he’s found you, you will not get away from him.

“Where else did you expect me to be? We need every healer we have helping the people.” You sass back at him as you finish with the patient.

Felix nearly drags you behind him to the King’s chambers. Inside is one weeping and tormented Dimitri, surrounded by the entire Blue Lions group.

“The infirmary. She’s a fucking cleric. She’s been there all day. Now can you stop panicking?” Felix announces to the small crowd.

Dimitri runs to you and throws his arms around you, slowing down and pulling you gently close to his chest. “I’m sorry. There was no note, we could not find you.” He sniffs into your neck.

“My apologies. I did not mean to cause such an alarm.” You stand bewildered. In any state of emergency, it has always been all hands on deck. You feel it is your obligation to help. Certainly, they would have figured it out?

Dedue brings several pots of tea, most of it chamomile and you reassure everyone once you have had a good night’s sleep you will be fine. Once the guests leave to their rooms you cuddle and reassure Dimitri you will never do such a thing without leaving a note for him to easily find. You return to your room, quickly bathing and collapsing in your bed.

You wake and decide to head to the Infirmary to check on any further patients. Standing outside your door are two guards who have been instructed to keep you in your room. They deliver a sealed letter from Dimitri.

.

My Dearest Beloved,

You have done well and good taking care of the citizens, however this is a momentous occasion, and it is my turn to remind you to take care of yourself. Today should be a day of pampering, rest and relaxation. Tomorrow we are to be wed and I am blissfully thankful for you agreeing to marry me.

Therefore, Mercedes and Annette volunteered to staff the Infirmary this morning. The ladies will join you for lunch followed by manicures, pedicures, and massages to your liking. For afternoon tea you may invite anyone you wish to join you.

Please join me and our friends for dinner this evening in a quiet celebration before resting for tomorrow’s nuptials. You are my heart and my life, I cannot wait for you to become my wife.

All of my love,

Dimitri

a few scrawls are on the bottom of the page…

He did a fine job! -Sylvain

Get this mess over with -Felix

.

Dimitri sends a servant delivering fine bath salts, perfumes, and oils for to pamper yourself with a relaxing bath. Fresh new towels, the softest you have ever felt accompanied by a fluffy robe to wrap up in. You bathe in the hot perfumed water until your fingers are completely wrinkled like raisins. You smell like a field of beautiful flowers and are happily relaxed.

Lunch had to have been prepared by Dedue. A filling and healthy stew with many vegetables and spices to delight the senses. Mercedes and Annette update you on the patients in the infirmary, they were shocked to see you there yesterday, the citizens are completely understanding you have to prepare for your wedding tomorrow. They also brought a large basket of wedding gifts, personal cards and letters from citizens all around the city. Ingrid arrives in time to eat as well, trying to sneak away when she hears about the next item on the schedule. Mercedes convinces her to stay.

Several masseuses arrive along with a manicurist to tend to skin, fingers, and toes. Massaging both hands and feet, applying relaxing things to your face and spoiling you and several ladies of the Blue Lions rotten as possible. Ingrid melts at the shoulder and upper arm massage. Annette first giggles then starts laughing uncontrollably as they work on her feet and toes. By the time they are done, everyone smells like a forest of beautiful flowers and feels like a bullion.

Afternoon tea is special desserts, chocolate covered fruits, adorable and delicious teacakes, and cookies with beautiful floral designs.

Dinner is loud and boisterous. Everyone is sharing the progress of rebuilding going on in their territories. Annette is talking about the school of Magic. Seteth and Flayn arrive to warm welcomes and good food and much friendship. Byleth is on the way. They are being…stubborn.

Ashe and Ingrid are seated together. Both of them drinking water as they will work during the wedding, saying this is one of the greatest honors of a knight, to guard the king and his soon to be wife at their wedding. You grin happily as Ashe compliments Ingrid on how beautiful she smells, she blushes profusely in return.

Sylvain stands and offers a toast, “To Dimitri, one of my best friends and King. May your marriage be blessed with much love and many, many, maaaannnyyy children! Ow” He grabs his arm as it gets punched. Everyone chuckles.

The door to the room opens to Byleth and Yuri entering the room.

“We’ve made it.” Byleth announces. “We had to ride the horse to get here.”

“Ugh.” Yuri groans. “I may not be able to breathe again for a week.” His voice is strained, his eyes and nose are red and itchy.

After the new arrivals finish eating you whisper to Dimitri then sit next to Yuri.

“Yuri, I want to thank you for making the sacrifice to your health to get Byleth here on time. I want to help you as well. You are better off leaving the party and taking care of yourself. Let me take you to your room and help you feel well enough to attend the wedding and hopefully the party after.”

Yuri looks at Byleth who has a line of people waiting to talk to them. “Let’s go.”

.

Stopping by your room you grab a large empty basket and several bottles and vials. Leading Yuri to his room you instruct him to start a hot as he can stand it bath, with 2 capfuls from this bottle. Then strip down to his waist, tossing everything in the basket. You will have the items cleaned. You stay outside, wiping down their belongings brought into the room. You hear him calling from the bath.

“Wow. What is that stuff? It is potent, I can feel my nose loosening a bit already.”

You knock on the door before entering. “It is eucalyptus oil. I had Brigid send some before the winter hit. Amazing stuff, works on clearing the sinuses and restore breathing to help you sleep. Now hold this.”

You hand him a washcloth, then massage his forehead and rubbing your thumbs along his nose toward his eyes. He holds the cloth beneath his nose as it begins to drain uncontrollably.

“Keep the water hot in the bath. Soak for at least 30 minutes. I’ll leave lavender oil on the table for tonight if you stuff up again before bed, get a bowl of water steaming, add two teaspoons to it and put a towel over your head to inhale the vapors. Peppermint oil for the morning, same treatment.” You nod before closing the door behind you.

“Thank you, my queen.” He says before you head back to the gathering.

Byleth stops his conversation with Ashe to call you over. “How is he doing?”

You smile warmly. “He’s going to soak in a eucalyptus oil bath, I left two other oils for tonight and the morning. He’s already breathing a bit better. When you get there make sure everything you are wearing is put in the basket and removed from the room. It should help a bit. “

Byleth smiles and pats you on the head. It makes you feel happy, but you’re not sure why.

You are grateful the party is calm and the alcohol level is reasonable. Who knows what tomorrow night should bring. Dimitri and Dedue escort you back to your room where a few chaste kisses and ‘I love you’s’ are exchanged before he heads to his chambers.

.

From the time you open your eyes in the morning until the end of the day your life is on a tight schedule. You are dressed, your makeup is perfect. You are ready. You are in a special alcove to the side of the marble staircase you will descend to arrive at the red carpeting, proceed on it to arrive where Dimitri will be waiting.

It is too early for many flowers to be blooming, but with the number of them decorating every pole wall and aisle of the venue, you cannot help but be surrounded by their beautiful and peaceful smells. Dedue greets you and offers an arm as he escorts you down the stairs. He softly says words of encouragement, of how Dimitri has been longing for this day and he wishes the both of you nothing but love and happiness and ends with a prayer for blessing you both to the gods of Duscur. He’s dressed in a fitting and comfortable suit, a sash with Duscur emblems embroidered along its length.

You walk slowly alongside him, smiling with pure joy. When you arrive at the red carpet you finally see Dimitri, dressed in an elegant suit, highlighting his strong shoulders and small waist. His crown glitters in the sunlight upon his head. He smiles at you, his face beaming. You smile back, your eyes can only see him before you. You hardly notice Dedue has stopped, waiting for Byleth.

“Who brings the bride to wed the king?” Byleth begins

“I bring the bride for the King and the future of the kingdom.” Dedue announces slowly and proudly.

You step forward to stand alongside Dimitri. You look up at him, he is smiling down at you and the world falls away.

Your attention is brought back to the here and now as Byleth asks Dimitri if he will take you as his wife, Byleth asks you the same and you say you do.

Rings are brought forth, blessed, and placed on each other’s hands.

You feel warm hands, Dimitri’s hands are holding your shoulders gently as he kisses you softly in front of the entire world. His right hand slides down your arm, intertwining your fingers as you face your friends and guests for the first time as husband and wife.

“I present to you the King and Queen Consort of Fodlan, who are now husband and wife.” Byleth proclaims and the cheers are thunderous.

.

The ceremony completed, the bride and groom are whisked off for the first sketch of the official wedding portrait as the guests are escorted to the huge area set aside for the wedding feast.

The archbishop is announced as they arrive in the room and led to a seat at the head table. The remaining guests of honor are announced and seated. The bride and groom, the King and Queen Consort arrive and are presented to the guests, resulting in great applause. Taking your seat next to the King, immediate toasts to your health and wellbeing are called for as food is brought to each table.

Dimitri stands and makes a brief speech, thanking friends and faithful supporters to the kingdom for sharing this occasion with us as we begin our life together.

.

The celebration in the grand ballroom is a sight to behold. Yet more flowers decorate every table and wall of the room. The newly wedded couple must make a grand entrance to the applause of all. The orchestra plays and they take their place on the dance floor. Dimitri expertly twirls you around, thankfully the month of ballroom dancing practice has paid off and you have not embarrassed yourself once or stepped on his toes.

The dancing opens up to others, as well as other partners for the bride and groom. You laugh as Claude takes Dimitri across the floor. Byleth dances with you carefully, always leaving room for Sothis, as Seteth had reminded everyone at the ball so many years ago.

Sylvain bravely dares to take you to the dance floor. After dipping you, he pulls you up and shares a bawdy story of how one of his previous dance partners had completely exposed her bosom to the ballroom when he had leaned her too far back.

You remind him it is not appropriate for the queen consort to act in such lewd behavior, he simply laughs at you.

After many dances and entirely sore and worn out feet, Dimitri pulls you to the side and suggests it is time to leave the revelry. You are more than happy to accompany him back to your now shared chambers. First, he escorts you to your room, a maid will assist you with removal of the gown. The delicate straps and buttons would be ripped asunder in his hands. You agree to meet him in your joint chambers shortly.

.

Dimitri waits alone in his bedroom. His wife will soon be here. Wife. Wife! He thinks. He is married and has a wife. What will she think of him seeing him without his clothes? Bare and exposed before her? Will she run in terror? He is a beast. His self-doubt takes over, thoughts of her screaming at him, of being afraid of him running through his mind. Why has she done this to herself? Tied herself forever to a monster like him?

He startles at the sound of the doorknob turning. You blush as you enter with the fluffy robe he gifted you yesterday wrapped around your body. You look into his face and see it warped with terror. Rushing to your husband’s side you reach to touch his cheeks and he turns his face away.

“Dima, my love. Look at me.” You plead with him. You press your body against him as you stroke his cheek.

“Come sit at the table.” You take his hand and lead him to a chair and table by the window. The curtains are closed but the moonlight filters through them into the room, giving everything a soft glow.

“Speak to me, my love. Let me help you.” Your voice a soft whisper, you try to keep it even, not letting the sadness tearing through your heart show as you see the man you have pledged your life to lost in dark thoughts.

“I…I am not worthy of you.” He says as his body falls into the chair, his head falling to his chest. His body is limp now, his shoulder leaning against your stomach.

“There is no one here judging you. You are everything to me. You are my heart and my light. You are the piece which makes me whole. I take you as you are.” You say as you kiss the top of his head, urging him to sit back on the chair.

“My sins are great. I am broken and damaged, being surrounded by so much death and the war.”

You ease into his lap, running your hands up and down his chest. “We fought the war together. We survived together. I have seen your wounds, I know your scars. Yet, I love you. All of you. You are handsome, strong and protective. You are my lance and shield. I am your hearth and home. I want to be the place you long to come home to, welcoming you, healing you and making you whole.

You take his face in your hands and kiss his forehead and both of his cheeks. Sliding your hands around his chest you hold him close.

“Husband, will you not hold me? You feel so warm. I feel so safe in your arms.”

Dimitri hesitantly wraps his arms round you, nuzzling his cheek in your hair. He smells the lavender and other flowers in your shampoo, but mostly he smells you. Soft and comforting. Holding you closer he takes a deep breath of your scent and sighs heavily. Your lips are kissing his neck and chin, he moves to connect his lips to yours. This is familiar to him, comfortable. Kissing you as you snuggle with him on his lap.

Sitting up briefly you smile, looking into his eye. “I love you so much, Dimitri.”

“You have no idea how much I love you, how much I need you.” He answers, choking back his tears.

The two of you kiss and cuddle on the chair for a while longer, enjoying the closeness and unspoken words between you.

“Change into your nightclothes. Come lay on the bed next to me.” You ask him and he nods.

You clear the bed of the Lions who are always there to protect the king’s quarters while he is away. You pull the bedcovers back and fetch two glasses of water, placing them on each nightstand.

Dimitri lies on his back to one side of the bed. He feels stiff and anxious. His heart is pounding, he tries to calm his mind. You sit at the top of the bed by the pillows. Removing his eyepatch you set it on the night stand and card your fingers through his hair.

“We are supposed…” Dimitri begins, his voice strained.

You place a finger over his lips. “We are supposed to love each other. Be there for each other. We have the rest of our lives before us. Everything in its time.” You coo, bending over to kiss the tip of his nose.

Dimitri relaxes after a while. “Come, lay next to me.”

You lay to his side, your head resting on his shoulder as you rub circles on his chest. “I want to kiss you.” You ask.

“Please.” His voice soft, his chest vibrating under your fingers.

You lift up to place your chest against his, kissing his lips with little pecks until you feel his smile. He kisses you firmly, his tongue begging for entrance. You moan and comply. You sit up to take your robe off, tossing it on the valet chair. Next winter you will not have to wear three pair of socks to bed with Dimitri to keep you warm.

Joining him back on the bed you lie on his chest again. The silken nightgown slides across his clothes easily, you can feel the warmth of his chest against yours with only two layers of thin cloth between you. Warm supple lips resume meeting each other, you move to kiss his neck just below his ear. Dimitri moans softly at the intimacy and pleasure of the kisses.

“May I unbutton your shirt? “You ask between kisses.

“Mmm hmmm.” He hums, nodding.

You undo a button placing a kiss at the spot of new skin being exposed. You complete four buttons when you notice him tense, you stop. Kissing your way back up his chest you massage his pectoral muscles, giggling a bit as you nuzzle your face into his chest like a cat. Sliding your body along his you kiss him again. The feeling of his chest brushing against yours is so delightful.

He rolls both of you to the side so he may kiss your neck. Your hand slides into his hair and behind his neck, pulling him close to you. Dimitri licks and nibbles on your neck and shoulders, sliding the shoulder of your nightgown out of his way

“Ohh, I need to feel your skin against mine.” You mumble into his neck as you pull the silken gown over your head. The warmth of his chest against yours along with his deep kiss causes you to moan into his mouth. The night progresses slowly as you explore and love each other to the fullest.

.

A knock to the door late in the morning causes Dimitri to bolt upright in the bed, causing you to fall from his chest you were comfortably sleeping on and wind up on your back over his legs.

“My love! I’m so sorry!” He stares down at you in concern, afraid to touch you so he will not cause you harm.

You giggle, soon breaking out in full hearty laughter. Dimitri looks at you, very confused.

“You look like a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar.” You giggle. “We’re allowed to be like this in the morning, dear husband.”

“Well, um…it will take some getting used to.” He smiles weakly, still waking up.

“I can get used to waking up next to my warm, handsome husband.” You smile as you kiss him gently.

The knock on the door returns. A servant announces breakfast is here. Dimitri throws on his silken robe, tying it around his waist and brings the cart filled with food into the room. Once you smell the delicious offering, you find you are extremely famished.

.

After nearly two whole days of being able to spend time with each other, it is now time to get back to business. Many of the guests have left, however there are still some remaining in the castle, your duty is now to entertain those accompanying their partners who have business with the King and council.

You enter the parlor precisely on time. Margaret Kleiman and Isolde Rhodos are already in the room, enjoying their tea.

“Good morning. I hope you have found the accommodations to your liking.” You smile warmly at the women.

“Passable.” Huffs Margaret.

“I would have preferred to have been on a more western exposure. The sun was entirely too bright in the morning.” Isolde says dully as she clinks her teaspoon in her cup loudly.

You control the urge to roll your eyes. You have not had the opportunity to socialize with these women and you hope from now on to keep it at a bare minimum at the most.

“I have heard you are a cleric.” Isolde frowns. “So you go about touching strangers and covering yourself with their blood? Sounds disgusting. Definitely inappropriate to say the least.”

“Agreed.” Margaret nods. “Ladies of the nobility must keep themselves above the prattle. Quite undignified and repulsive.”

“Do you have some recommendations as to how best I should spend my time?” You ask, hoping they will take the bait.

“Isolde here is a fine wine expert.” Margaret nods. “She can pair a wine perfectly with any dish. Living on the coast, they have the opportunity to import nothing but the finest wines from every country around. Unfortunately, it may be too late for you to develop such a particular palate at your age.”

“It is true. We had to build a third wine cellar to house our collection.” Isolde brags. “The wine served with dinner was acceptable, however it was a bit unbalanced and could have had a fuller body to it. The wines at the reception ranged from atrocious and barely passable to loaded with so many tannins it was comparable to dishwater.”

“Oh my, please accept my sincerest apologies for our faux pas.” You solemnly look downward and bow your head. Fortunately, she is looking intently at her tea and misses the tiny smirk at the end of your gesture. You opted to use the local wineries instead of supporting wine from other countries.

Further conversations with the spouses of the council members reveal the concentration of many funds and taxes are not used for the people but are diverted to assure the ease and comfort of the nobility and their friends.

.

You had no idea such thievery was done by nobles. Their purpose is to lead the people, keep them safe and develop the lands entrusted to them. You had thought the ruling of Gautier was more of the exception, however now that you know more and more of the workings of the nobility, it seems that is the tip of the iceberg.

How is this handled in other territories? What other abuses of power are to be found in the Alliance and former Empire territories? You shudder to think of them.

#fe3h fanfic #fe3h #fire emblem three houses #fe16 #fe3h x reader #fe dimitri #dimitri alexandre blaiddyd

[falsegoodnight]

there were so many good fics this month and i’m excited to talk about them! as always, this list encompasses the fics i’ve read from the 28th of may to the 28th of june. 

—

✰ oceaning abyss of orange by @hadestyles​ | T | 1k (this was so poetic and full of emotion – perfection as always <3)

— and Harry wants to scream, this is love.

✰ press into my bones by @hadestyles​ | E | 2k (this changed me as a person) 

Louis wakes up full.

✰ looks like we made it by @princelouisau​ | M | 2k (a new addition to the danielle-makes-me-cry saga, this time being from happiness overload) 

“I know we never talked about it because I wasn’t ready after all that shit, but it’s been kind of hard to miss how ready you are, and I guess your constant baby fever rubbed off on me.”

The grin takes over Harry’s face before he can fully process the words. “You’re ready?”

Louis hums. “Have been for a while, if I’m being honest.”

✰ baby baby, you’re a caramel macchiato by @missandrogyny​ | T | 3k (so cute; have missed their writing)

So, yeah, Harry doesn't think it's that far of a stretch to call himself a good barista. There are some particularly bad ones, and some particularly good ones, and, with his work ethic, his skill, and his charm, he'd probably be lumped in with the latter group.

✰ rumour has it by anditsonlyforthebrave | NR | 4k (a big fan of this new trope – very hot but also cute)

Harry and Louis are college sweethearts, Harry has a reputation and Louis just wants to be fucked. Too bad sex with Harry is boring.

✰ I’m Asking You Please, Don’t Talk Dirty to Me by @larry-hiatus​ | E | 10k (the concept hooked me in; the execution was wonderful)

Harry’s best friend Louis is a nice, well-mannered omega, at least when it comes to sex talk. He has always been closed off and quiet... until Harry hears how Louis talks during his heat. Now, it's all Harry can think about before his upcoming rut... 

✰ Hint: I want to be yours by @greenblueish​ | M | 11k (so very cute and lovely; loved this hl a lot)

Harry unconsciously starts acting like Louis' alpha after they spend his rut together and Louis finds ways to make sure Harry's affection doesn't end.

✰ sometimes a fantasy by @thepolourryexpress​ | E | 19k (absolutely incredible as with any ni fic; friends to lovers goodness and so fucking funny)

There’s nothing to complain about when Harry’s walking around their flat with his cock swinging about, nothing to complain about when Harry’s pressing himself up against Louis’ naked backside when he’s reaching for a mug in their cupboards, and nothing to complain about when Harry’s got his hand firm on Louis’ arse when they’re cuddling on the couch.

So, in reality, it’s really fucking weird, and Louis knows that.

But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it.

✰ hungered for your touch by @loubellies​ | E | 21k (so hot but also so sweet; more friends/roommates to lovers perfection. mar never disappoints!)

It shows up a week later. His phone dings with a text from his roommate, Harry, a photo attached to the message. It’s Harry and a package, the contents displayed clearly on the front of the box. Tears are rolling down Harry’s cheeks to match the excessive emojis he sent with the selfie.

Did someone prank you???

Louis’ face immediately goes as pink as the cage on the box in Harry’s huge hand, his stomach dropping into his ass. Fuck.

✰ Middle Ground by @darlou | E | 24k (a reread and all-time comfort read just like most other fics by this author)

Harry moves to a new town for work where he meets the enigma that is Louis Tomlinson.

✰ now is the winter of our discontent by @vogueharrystan​ | M | 29k (so unique and so good; loved the plot and the jealous harry and the plot twist!)

Where Harry is leading an army to overthrow the king of Cheshire and Louis is one of the volunteers who joins them along the way.

✰ i’m gonna keep this love, if you let me by @tomlinbuns​ | E | 26k (an amazing take on a tried and true trope; very cute and sweet)

Louis makes Harry pretend to be his boyfriend one night out. The rest is history.

✰ heroes of the orange skies by queenmcgonagall | NR | 31k (a bit late in reading this one... but it was so lovely and comforting in a way)

Louis likes bathroom walls and Sharpies, Harry likes metal, Zayn likes Liam and Liam likes Zayn, Niall is wise, and they all go to the zoo.

✰ In Your Scent I Thrive by @tomlinvelvetfics​ | E | 33k (super unique take on an abo college au; loved the use of dual pov and all the details as always <3)

Harry’s particular condition has made it impossible for him to enjoy people’s scent, until he meets Louis.

✰ tender is the night by @raspberryoatss​ | E | 41k (a new favorite!! ghost harry is my absolute favorite and i’m so pleased to add this to my reread rotation in the future <3 so fucking funny and so fucking cute!!)

Louis meets a certain ghost.

✰ Mead of Poetry by @lwtisloved​ | E | 65k (don’t know anything about bridgerton but this was absolutely lovely!! obsessed with the regency setting and all the angst and miscommunication)

Under the pressure of continuing the Styles viscountcy line now that he is getting older, Harry sets himself three rules to finally settle down and marry: firstly, the omega needs to be reasonably attractive, secondly, they must be of great mind, thirdly, they cannot be anyone he would ever fall in love with.

Enters Charlotte Tomlinson, the diamond of the first water of the upcoming season and seemingly the perfect candidate to the viscount’s plan, but her omega brother, Louis, is in Harry’s way. Louis only seeks to protect his sister and he sure is not going to let a rake play with her heart.

✰ Flash Back to Me by @mason-conaway​​ | E | 73k (amnesia aus are a guilty pleasure of mine and this one was so good! loved the banter and the dynamic between hl)

Louis loses his memory and Harry just about loses his mind trying to win him back (or something).

✰ And down the long and silent street by whimsicule | M | 86k (a reread – rediscovered this fic as well as how fucking incredible it is. an all-time favorite for sure!!)

Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

If you read any of these lovely fics, remember to leave kudos and comment to show your appreciation!

+ if i made any errors, please let me know :)

enjoy!

#fic recs #my fic recs #28th appreciation #june recs #2021 recs #june 2021 recs #scheduled

[joiedecombat]

Continuing in the vein of common Pride and Prejudice AU plots: Elizabeth marries someone else!

A lot of the time this is just to set her up as a wealthy widow of a peer and turn the disparity of social standing on its head, but sometimes the writers are out for blood.

Prime example: The Events at Branxbourne by Caitlin Williams.

This is The Worst Timeline. Okay, maybe Amy D'Orazio's Mysteries of Pemberley has it beat for overall bleakness, but Mysteries is a Gothic, they're supposed to be bleak. I'm not sure what Branxbourne's excuse is.

By the beginning of this book, almost the entire cast is miserable. Jane died of a fever shortly after Elizabeth's sojourn in Kent. Mr Bennet had what appears to have been a stroke, and though he survived it's left him physically impaired. Charles Bingley doesn't speak to Darcy any more since Jane's death; Darcy has spent the last several years burying himself in Derbyshire while Georgiana, in the care of her Fitzwilliam relatives in London, has fallen in with the bad influences of the shallow fashionable set. Colonel Fitzwilliam married Anne de Bourgh and didn't realize how much he loved her until she died giving birth to his son. And Elizabeth is married to an Earl who is mentally ill, abusive, deeply in debt and might have murdered his last wife.

GOOD TIMES. The only characters doing at all well for themselves are, oddly enough, Lydia and Wickham... but not with each other.

Naturally things only get worse from there once Darcy crosses Elizabeth's path again for the first time in years and starts to realize just how bad a situation that she's in.

"Do not cry, Elizabeth. I could bear anything but that."

She trembles. Looking about, seeing we are half-hidden by the trees and that there is no one around, I reach out and press her hand, squeeze her fingers tightly, but only for a moment. "My love, do not cry."

"Your love. Is that what I am?"

"Can I be plainer?"

"Yes, please." She surprises me with a broad smile. "Please do be very plain about it."

"You are my love," I tell her. "My only love, till the end of time. Whatever else my happen, and we may expect dark days ahead, never doubt that in this moment, beneath this perfect, blue sky, on this warm September day, you are loved as no other woman has ever been loved before. You are loved for all that you are, for what you once were, for all you will come to be."

"Mr Darcy, if only you had not once hidden your talent for compliments so well, then we might not be in this terrible mess."

I love a good Darcy To The Rescue story as much as anybody, but this one's A Lot. You've gotta be in a mood to wallow in the melodrama, to want to see these characters pushed to their limits by a situation that can't be endured and which their society's laws and mores offer no palatable solution for.

The happy ending comes as it should, but the trip there is an especially rough ride with little comic relief.

Content warning: domestic abuse, depiction of mental illness, infidelity (emotional if not physical), angst, first person present tense narration.

"If you, too, would enter into this marriage for practical reasons, I would be more easy with the notion. Then we would give to each other only what was received."

He smiled faintly. "Alas, my desire to marry you is formed by the wishes of my heart, not my head, so I cannot oblige you."

"If I did feel myself forming a more romantic attachment, I would welcome it. I just want you to understand that I do not know whether it will occur. It must be yours to decide whether or not you can be in an unequal marriage."

"I have considered it," he admitted after a thoughtful pause. "I see how you loved your husband, and I did not expect to supplant that. I shall readily admit that I am a jealous man, and to know that your heart belongs to him is difficult for me to accept. However, my choice is for an unequal marriage no matter what we decide. Either I can be with you--the one I love--or I can marry another and, thus, be with one who might love me but whom I do not love. You see, just as your heart is for Henry, mine is for you. That will not change.

"So, fully apprehending your hesitation, I say yes, I do agree to a practical marriage with you, accepting whatever amount of affection you give to me because I cannot live without you."

Amy D'Orazio's The Best Part of Love, meanwhile, has Elizabeth already married and widowed by the time she meets Darcy. Her husband was murdered in a treasonous plot that required her to live incognito with her family in Hertfordshire for a couple of years, allowing Darcy to make his usual astonishingly bad first impression at the Meryton assembly and fall in love more or less at first sight.

Rather than Branxbourne's unrelenting angst, this book is a whole soap opera: unnecessarily complicated backstory, misunderstandings and mistaken identities, high emotion, a mystery, and a sharp plunge into acute misery in the third act when it turns out that Elizabeth's late husband might be considerably less dead than advertised, to the dismay of nearly everyone involved.

It's a very well-written soap opera, and worth reading if you're looking for that kind of emotional roller coaster.

The essence of the problem was that there was simply nothing he could do for the situation. He had never before been faced with a challenge for which some action could not be taken. He could neither buy anything nor persuade anyone, work at something nor study a topic, take himself away from his pain nor have the pain removed. He did not even have the comfort of despising someone. There was no one to despise, not even himself, for all had acted with honour and integrity and done the best they could with the hand they had been dealt. It was nothing more than a circumstance beyond anyone's control, and that made it insupportable.

After leaving him to wallow about in his despair for a fortnight, his cousins came for him as he had suspected they eventually would.

"Have you left your house at all, Darcy?" Fitzwilliam's face bore a look of vexing kindliness.

"What do you think--that I sit here all day pining for her?" he snapped.

"That is precisely what I think," Saye replied, tousling Darcy's hair as he walked by and then further compounding his sin by not even looking to see the angry scowl Darcy gave him.

This book also contains my favorite version ever of Colonel Fitzwilliam's older brother, here (as in all of the rest of D'Orazio's Pride and Prejudice fiction) named Viscount Saye and characterized as a languid, almost terminally unflappable dandy with very few social filters to speak of and absolutely no fucks to give. He's an affectionate cousin to Darcy and usually gleefully awful, and is a character I enjoy very much.

Content warning: very brief reference to suicidal thoughts, high melodrama.

#the events at branxbourne #the best part of love #pride and prejudice #ongoing adventures in austen pastiche #honestly I wish I could recc more of d'orazio's books #but she has this tendency to do one supporting character dirty each time #the thing with mr bennet in mysteries of pemberley wasn't too bad #but goddamn leave bingley and col fitzwilliam alone

[herkawaiinovels]

[SS] Chapter 10

Roman and Prillance each held one hand together with the other’s. He placed his other hand on Prillance's waist while Prillance placed her other hand on his shoulder. Then the orchestra began to play. The two danced to the melody.

“You’ve been quite interesting lately.”

“Hmm, that’s good to hear.”

Looking at Prillance wearing a courteous smile, Roman tried to recall what she was like before. But it wasn't easy.

He was never interested in her previously so he couldn’t really remember anything. It was just another reminder that she was not the same person she is now.

“Today you look quite beautiful.”

Even as a form of courtesy, Roman had never once told Prillance she was beautiful. To be exact, she had never looked beautiful in his eyes. Whenever he saw her, she was always wearing garish jewelry. He rather thought it was more burdensome than beautiful.

But today, no, recently, it no longer felt that way.

“The Duke also looks quite handsome.”

There was no gleam in her eyes that complimented him. They used to glisten whenever she looked at him. But those eyes that suddenly disappeared one day somehow surfaced whenever she was facing Ver. Along with the bashfulness that didn’t exist whenever she faced Roman.

“Do you still have someone attached to watch me?” (Prillance)

“Did you not know? I thought you knew already.”

“Are you still in doubt? If so, why are you letting me know of these facts? Is it a warning?”

“You already know. What type of person I am.”

Prillance looked at him with an impassive smile. Nevertheless, Roman’s smirk remained. He was warning her with his eyes. The gaze reminded her of the first time she met him. At that moment, Prillance's body stiffened and she lost her balance.

“Be careful.”

Roman tried to catch Prillance, but she unconsciously refused his gesture. She rejected his arms. She was also very surprised by her actions.

Her arm that refused his actions became sore. It wasn’t physical, but more of a psychological pain that she felt.

“We should stop here. Your body doesn’t seem to be well.”

As Roman was about to move away, Prillance held his hand again.

“The song is not over yet.”

She stated, holding his hand urgently. She couldn’t let him go just like this. She had a reason to keep dancing with him. Though there was a slight tremor in her hand, her eyes were firm.

After seeing Prillance like that, he was able to reposition himself. He could still feel the slight tremors in her hands. As he looked down, he saw that her eyelashes were also trembling slightly. It was the same face he saw during the ball.

Roman led Prillance during the rest of the dance until the end. When it ended, a small sigh of relief came from her.

    “I think there’s a reason why you are trying to keep me here.”

Roman drew closer to Prillance, who was a slight distance away.

“Should we dance to one more song?”

Suddenly, Prillance's surprised eyes met him.

'Where…did I make a mistake?'

Prillance's eyes shook. She tried to recall her previous actions. She only said that the song wasn't over yet.

Was there a problem with the conversation? Or was it not natural enough? Roman smiled once more as countless thoughts fleeted through her mind.

It was a dangerous smile.

Her body instinctively flinched. She stepped back. But he took another step forward.

Looking up at his eyes, Prillance looked like a frightened little animal. Roman reached out to touch her hair. Her body, which had improved a little, trembled weakly again.

“Where is my partner?”

It wasn’t difficult to guess. He didn't notice anything when Prillance first asked him for a dance. However, it was strange that she still wanted to dance with him even while her hands were shaking in fear.

Now that he thought of it, it was strange that his partner, Cecia, disappeared at the moment she appeared and invited him to dance.

Roman touched the tips of Prillance's hair. How many of his partners have disappeared without a word so far? He recalled the reason for their disappearances. They were either injured or severely burned.

He couldn’t find Cecia anywhere. He didn’t want to see Prillance pretending to be a frightened little animal.

“If something happens to my partner, you will have to prepare yourself.”

Thinking the same thing would have happened to Cecia, Roman became angry. He was too careless. He didn’t think Prillance would mess with Cecia. To think he actually thought Prillance had changed.

Even now he was looking at her with glaring eyes. Just when the anger was about to be released toward her –

And just as Prillance closed her eyes, expecting the frightening energy of his anger to hit –

“Excuse me.”

It was a pleasant, familiar voice, but it was a voice that wasn’t supposed to be here. Before the questions in her head were answered, Prillance’s body was pushed back slightly.

And she saw a broad back in front of her. It was a warm, familiar back. Even just by looking at it, she felt warmth. She felt swept away by her emotions.

“Viscount Grant.”

Standing between Roman and Prillance, Ver placed her behind him. He calmly looked at Roman.

Ver’s hand stretched back slightly, like a knight protecting a damsel. Giving all his attention toward them, Roman’s eyes fleeted back and forth between the both of them.

'It doesn’t seem like an unrequited love.'

Those were his thoughts while looking at Ver’s eyes. His eyes, facing Roman, were calm. But in those eyes, Roman saw a man who was determined to protect what was his.

“My partner was not feeling well, so I had to come forward.”

Ver spoke first as he faced Roman.

“Your partner today is Lady Weiand?”

“Yes.”

He admitted without hesitation. The two’s eyes seemed to be clashing. Ver was once again considerate toward her and even told Roman she was his partner. Prillance grasped her hem slightly. She felt that if she didn’t hold on to something, her tears might spill.

“If you are done dancing, I will take the Lady with me.”

Ver, who felt Prillance’s movement, told Roman. He also wanted to get Prillance quickly out of here.

“I still need to hear Lady Weiand’s answer to my question.”

Roman was also unhappy with the situation as they were at the center of everyone’s attention. But his partner’s safety came first.

With Prillance’s temper, he didn’t know where Cecia would be at the moment or what could have happened to her.

At Roman’s words, Prillance suddenly remembered Cecia. And the fact that the person who she was trying to set Cecia up with was right in front of her eyes.

'Where did Cecia go?'

When the party began, Prillance asked a servant to deliver a note to Duke Tonz’ partner. And when she saw that Cecia wasn’t next to Roman, she had thought the note had been delivered properly.

However, Ver was somehow here.

“Later…”

“Duke.”

It was a thin but captivating voice. Standing there was Cecia. Cecia walked toward Roman cautiously. However, her eyes were on Ver. It was the same with Ver.

“Ce…”

Ver couldn't finish calling her name. Roman pulled Cecia toward him, as if to claim ownership.

“I was looking for you.”

Roman carefully examined Cecia, who became flustered at his sudden actions but couldn’t push out of his arms. Although her slightly red eyes indicated she might have cried, overall, she seemed fine.

'Has nothing happened?'

Prillance was the reason his partners disappeared. And none of them ever returned in good shape.

But today his partner came back unscathed. Was it not Prillance? Then why did she react that way?

Roman's mysterious gaze turned to Prillance.

“……!”

Prillance, who saw the three facing each other, looked as if she was about to cry. It was the face of someone trying to hold back terrible pain.

What was so heartbreaking, all of a sudden? Was it because of his partner, or because of the appearance of these pair of pitiful lovers?

While thinking so, Roman's hand holding Cecia slowly loosened. Prillance was wearing an expression he had never once seen on her, but it seemed Prillance herself was unaware of it.

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#Side Story

[kissmyassloves]

The Selected Enola Holmes: Chapter Two (2)

Enola had been drinking in the beautiful man's appearance to the point that she hadn't realized quickly enough that she was staring. Thank god she was in relative darkness because the spreading warmth on her cheeks was probably evident. Clearing her throat and looking anywhere but at him, she cooly composed herself and tried to hide the wince that resulted from her upper arm being in pain. She then hurriedly uttered an,

"I'm fine."  Or at least I will be,  she thought.

The young man wasn't convinced, but he dropped it. Instead, he looked at her with curious eyes and a boyish smirk. At that, she decided that she was going to go on that walk that she desired earlier. As she turned to leave, she had noticed that  he  intended to do the very same thing. She couldn't just shoo whoever this man was off. not after he was why she was even out here. Enola was many things, but she wasn't rude (on purpose, anyway). So what could she do but allow him to fall in step beside her? But wait. She hadn't even asked this stranger his name to properly thank him.

"You're Enola Holmes, right? I remember seeing your picture when the selected were being announced."

She nodded and then proceeded to ask him with a small polite smile,

"So what name should I attach to the face that helped me get out here."

That seemed to shock him momentarily. His expression and silence seemed to weigh whether she was joking or not because he genuinely could not tell. Though she couldn't think why she would be. Was she  supposed  to know who he was? See, Enola had grown up in the countryside in all fairness and though she did read and get an education but she wasn't as attached to today's famous figures as most of the people her age were (if this man could even be deemed notable, that is). She had still been waiting for a response from him, and when he realized, he scrambled to respond with an "I'm Reese."

That was enough to make her stop walking just as abruptly as he had said it. Did she hear that correctly? She looked at him to see if he was deceiving her, but then it all started to click. She actually took in the crisp suit he was wearing and the slightly loosened tie around his neck.  No doubt expensive, and   he must have been working late and finally caught a break , she thought. That would have explained his absence at dinner tonight. His hair was slightly disheveled but somehow kempt. Probably from running his hand through it on more than one occasion today.  He looked like he could have needed the fresh air as much as she did. Which meant that...he actually  was  the prince.  Shit .

                                     ------------------------------------

Pull yourself together, Holmes!  she thought to herself. Even if he was the man she had negative preconceived notions about. She still had to keep her guard up and stay in the game. But he didn't seem like a stuck up prick. Not if the way he helped her out just now said anything. She had already embarrassed herself twice that night in front of the prince, no less, and she wasn't going to do it a third time. She could already see the amusement dancing in his kind dark eyes. And she decided then and there that she would have to put distance between herself and yet another man. Especially if they were eliciting notions of  kind eyes . Really, what had gotten into her, she had only just met the heir, and she already sounded like she had a crush on him. She tells herself that she  doesn't , at least.

"So you're the man all this fuss is for" she hadn't meant to say it, but he seemed to take amusement in the statement and laughed. She'd decided that the sound was...nice. But she'd never let him know that.

"And I believe you signed up to be a part of it, Lady Enola and as they say, teamwork makes the dream work," he winked. There was no trace of mean-spiritedness in his remark, and she couldn't help but smile because he did have a point. Even if she was there for entirely different reasons than he probably thought.

"Touché," she conceded in fun.

"So how do you like the palace so far?" he had his hands behind his back and fell back into step with her.

"well, your highness-"

"-please call me Reese."

"well,  Reese,  honestly? I think it's...huge for lack of a better word. And so...rich."

He snorted at that with an eyebrow raised. "Rich?"

She could see the amusement and lightly shoved him, hiding a smile. She'd realized that he was easy to warm up to. She didn't know if that was good for her or not, considering her intentions of being here in the first place.

"yes, rich, and don't get me wrong, it's beautiful and all but...you know? You'll have to forgive me for my limited vocabulary. It's been a long day," she chuckled.

"Understandable. I like to come out here after one of those too. That and my little passion for botany."

"So am I looking at ye pride and joy?" she joked as they strolled.

"Oh, absolutely, a thing of beauty isn't she," he played along.

"Could use a trim if you ask me," he let out a laugh, and it was starting to worry her how she couldn't help but genuinely smile every time he did so.

"So Lady Enola, am I to assume you'd find a way to trim an already perfect hedge?"

"Perfect in whose eyes, Reese?"

"Mine"

                                     -------------------------------------

That one word and the way he said it lit something warm inside of her. Maybe she was reading too deeply into this, but it had sounded like a double entendre. Her blush was making itself known. And the look he was giving her wasn't helping the little somersaults her stomach was having either. Were they still talking about the hedges? Doing her best to keep things relatively normal, she cleared her throat. She continued like nothing had internally tripped her up in the first place.

"Right. But if I may be honest with you, I don't really care about flowers. At least not the way you seem to."

"Not many people do, I'm afraid. But that's alright. We can't all be blessed with taste" that earned him another shove.

"Prince Reese everyone, a true comedian" she joked, rolling her eyes in amusement. He mock bowed, and she laughed.

"No, really, though, flowers can be used to communicate how one feels. Like a language of sorts. A lot of people use them for love and-"

"-is that what you intend to do? Leave various flowers for all of us to decipher your affections" she was joking, of course. Still, he didn't catch it quickly enough if his rising blush was anything to go by.

"oh! no, I mean maybe, but I genuinely intend to talk to you all and get to know you but honestly...I'm not sure how to go about all of this. I know the basics but dating 35 girls at once is...I just feel like I don't know what I'm doing."

Enola could sympathize, and guilt was starting to rare its ugly head. Here, she took advantage of a prince who was basically pouring his heart out to her and giving her an escape from her brothers while trying to find a wife and balance his duties in front of the entire country.  Damn her conscience for what she was about to tell him.

"Ok . You should probably know something."

He looked deflated, "oh, you have a boyfriend back home, don't you?"

"no!- no, It's not that. I don't actually," why was she so eager to shut that down? And why did those somersaults return when he perked up at her debunking his theory? Anyway,

"I was just going to say that my intentions for entering the selection weren't entirely pure. You see, my brothers are looking for me and wanted to drag me back to a life of misery. My oldest brother Mycroft more than my other one Sherlock, really. And to put some distance between them, I entered this competition knowing that they wouldn't be able to touch me if I got selected by some miracle. And now I feel terrible because, excuse my french Reese or Viscount Tewksbury, but you're not the prick I thought you would be. I feel terrible knowing that you're practically housing and feeding me when I initially had no intention of helping you. On top of that I could be waist I g your time and in the place of a girl that truly wants to be here. A girl that could end up being the love of your life. I'm truly so sorry." she had finally stopped pacing and looked him in the eyes to weigh his reaction.

                                       -----------------------------------

She couldn't quite read the shifting emotions on Reese's face, which only worried her more. She was sure that she'd be the first girl to be kicked out of the competition now. And the irony of her also being the first of the selected that the prince even got to spend time with like this wasn't lost on her either.

"Did you really just call another of my titles after my first name? You do know that Viscount could also act as a first name as well as Reese, right? Or even Tewksbury. It's all the same to me."

What ? Is that what he picked up from all she had just said? Enola was now stunned to momentary silence.

"wait, you're not... mad ?" she really was lost here.

"How could I be mad at honesty?" he was as collected as she had first seen him earlier that night under the dim lamplight. He really was telling the truth.

"So I guess I should prepare to leave then?" she was trying to find some sort of course of action.

"Now, why would you do that? Wouldn't that make it easier for your brothers to get to you? They already know where you are, so the news of you leaving would be spoonfeeding them your whereabouts."

Did she hear that correctly? Was he suggesting that he'd actually let her... stay ? Maybe he had a longer day than she did because he just might be delirious, but she wasn't complaining. And his earnest eyes that were honestly considering and assessing her and her situation only made her want to hug him.

Was she becoming soft?

"So are you saying..."

He looked at her with a small smile and confirmed her suspicions,

"Yes, Lady Enola, I'm saying you can stay. I'll keep you in the competition until you decide to leave or come up with a plan to escape your brothers if you choose to drop out. Just let me know."

This man was heaven sent. There was no other explanation for it. He really did care. And before he knew it, she was barreling towards him for a hug repeating phrases of thanks. His minor shock passed as his arms enveloped her, and enjoyed the warm gesture. Her hair smelt of roses, and he tried his best not to take a whiff. He wasn't a creep. Realizing her actions, she hurriedly pulled away and composed herself. She knew that she'd had to find a way to repay him somehow because that's just the way she was.

In fact, she had an idea of how.

                                -------------------------------------

"What if, in exchange for staying here, I help you pick out the girl of your dreams? You know, be your wing-woman of sorts. It's the least I could do." His gaze on me lasted a beat longer than usual, and he responded with,

"Would you really?"

He seemed relieved. There was something else there that Enola couldn't quite place, but that didn't matter right now. What mattered was helping him because she knew she could, plus she perceived he needed it.

"Of course, it'll be fun and something to do while I'm here. Please. I insist. we can even have a secret signal we can use with each other if we need to tell the other something important. or if we just want an audience with each other"

"like a wink?"

"something like that but maybe something more discreet?' I say an ear tug."

He agreed and sincerely couldn't find it in him to say no to a deal like that, so he didn't.

He offered his arm, to which she accepted, and they both walked back to the palace with renewed promise and closeness that wasn't there at the beginning of their encounter.

#enola holmes lord tewksbury #TheSelectedEnolaHolmesFanfic #enola holmes x lord tewksbury #enola holmes x tewksbury #enola x tewkesbury #enola tewkes #enola tewksbury #enola #enola holmes #enolaholmes #holmesbury #holmesbury fanfic #holmesburyfanfic #holmesburyfic #au #alternate universe #the selection

[rather-impertinent]

New Beginnings

A/N: for anon, who requested some Enys family fluff, which I think is much needed! I hope you enjoy it, friends! You can also read it on AO3 here. Let me know what you think! xo

It had been four years since Sarah passed, and though the wound had begun to heal, it had left an indisputable scar on them. One which neither of them was particularly keen to rupture.

However, when they had returned from their long-overdue honeymoon in Edinburgh in September 1801, Caroline had apprehensively informed Dwight that she believed was with child. The strongest emotion they both felt was fear, initially, but they had ultimately both agreed it was time to set the past to one side - though not to forget Sarah, never that. But it was time to look to the future, and they must try to appreciate the blue in the sky, and not lament the lingering grey cloud that loomed over them threatening to spoil what they had, as it once almost did. One should not cling to what has passed and forget to enjoy what is.

Sophie was born in spring with all the difficulty of Sarah; Caroline had an exceedingly long and agonising labour, and Dwight had privately despaired that she would likely not have the strength when the time came to deliver the child. But all had come well in the end, and Sophie was the very spitting image of her mother, to Dwight’s eternal delight.

“I must bear you a son who is the very image of you in return,” Caroline had teased one morning as Dwight encouraged Sophie to move her little feet from the chair she held herself up on over to where Dwight was crouched with his arms outstretched. “How odious it is to be forced to look at a mini version of oneself every day!” Despite her claim, she loved Sophie very much - too much, she thought, knowing the dangers of such strong attachments. To Nanny’s endless frustration, no doubt, Caroline spent much time with the child - doting on her, singing to her, dressing her, even changing her. For all of her claims to Dwight that she was never meant to be a mother, Dwight did not know of a better or more caring one.

They spent much time together and enjoyed their family time immensely, often extending invitations for all of the Poldarks to join them at Killewarren for luncheon or a picnic in the woods. On Sundays, they would walk the length of the beach in place of attending church. It was a quiet and peaceable life that the three Enyses and an ageing Horace enjoyed in their small corner of Cornwall.

That is why, one bright, autumn morning, Dwight had uncharacteristically very near collapsed onto the bed when Caroline broke the news that she was once again with child, as she cradled five-month-old Sophie in arms.

“So soon? Are you sure?” His eyes were wide and his lips slack. His eyes lingered over his wife’s form, desperately searching for any indication that she spoke the truth.

Caroline shot him a look. “Quite sure, Dr Enys,” she insisted, a note of panic in her voice as she bounced a wailing Sophie up and down softly. “Oh, Dwight, how could this happen? How is it we could have no children for three years and then two in such quick succession?” It was all so overwhelming. She had barely gotten used to being a mother again, and soon she would have two children to care for!

Dwight got up and wrapped his arms around his wife and daughter, his apprehension dissipating as his face broke into a grin. “How very blessed we are, my love.” He kissed Caroline’s forehead and took a disgruntled Sophie from her, who instantly calmed as she sensed her father’s soothing energy and calm demeanour.

Caroline’s mouth twitched. “That’s easy for you to say, Dr Enys! I have yet to recover from the ordeal of bringing Madam mayhem here into the world.” She smiled fondly at her daughter, who, in Caroline’s mind, was worth every second of the unbearable agony.

“I have yet to recover also!” He laughed, though a shiver travelled up his spine as he thought of how close she had been to The Valley of Death. He wondered if she was aware of that.

Caroline took Sophie’s hand and waved it gently, looking up at her husband from beneath her long eyelashes. “Shall you cry again?” she teased her husband with a grin. He controlled a smile and rolled his eyes at her. “Papa does fuss terribly over us, my angel,” she murmured, smiling affectionately at them both.

On a sunny day in February, their third child - another girl! - was born with blessed ease and swiftness. Dwight had very near danced a jig as he informed his two dearest friends - Ross and Demelza, who waited patiently in the small library with their own children - that there was another Enys girl. Caroline had privately been initially disappointed not to have borne a mini Dwight, though soft brown hair covered the crown of the youngest girl’s head and her eyes were kind and as blue as the Cornish sea, and so Caroline declared victory. She had named her Meliora. Dwight had named Sarah, and they agreed on Sophie before she was born if she were to be a girl, so now it was Caroline’s turn. She delighted in the surprised faces that people pulled as she announced her daughter’s unique name to anyone who would listen.

“A person is only as good as their name,” Caroline had informed Dwight in response to his sceptical expression upon hearing his youngest child’s name in the hours following her birth, “and I mean for her to have a place in society. What better way than to have such an alluring name?”

Dwight considered this for a moment, deciding to try the name on his tongue as he fidgeted with his newborn’s tiny feet. “Hello, Meliora,” he whispered. The babe seemed to register her name and opened her eyes to look at her father, intrigued by the sound of his deep voice. She would be beautiful, he thought. Dwight was convinced. “It’s a beautiful name, my love. Unusual,” he commented with a laugh, “but beautiful.”

“I have unusual yet impeccable taste, as you well know,” Caroline retorted lightly, unable to tear her eyes from the new arrival.

Dwight kissed his wife’s hairline. “Shall I fetch young miss Sophie to be introduced to her sister?”

Caroline smiled widely, her heart so full in that moment she feared it would burst. “Oh, yes, please fetch her! Was she alright during all of this?” Caroline stroked Meliora’s cheek.

“Yes, I believe so.” Dwight stood, making to leave, but lingered a moment at the end of the bed to stare proudly at his wife and child. As emotion welled up in him, he discreetly exited the room and wiped away a tear as he closed the door behind him.

Dwight returned sometime later, Sophie’s small arms around his neck as he balanced the fourteen-month-old against his ribcage. Before Dwight had entered the room, he could hear Caroline singing softly to Meliora, though she ceased when he turned the doorknob and acted as though she had never sung to any of her children in her life. How sentimental.

“Mama!” Sophie cooed, immediately attempting to wriggle out of her father’s grasp, her little arms outstretched ready to receive one of Mama’s special hugs.

“Wait, wait,” Dwight admonished his eldest as he sat down beside his wife on the bed. “Careful, now, my little love. Be gentle. This is your new sister, Meliora.” Dwight and Caroline exchanged a somewhat nervous glance as the toddler padded a few steps across the bed and examined the child in the bundle of blankets.

Sophie reached out a hand to touch the baby’s feet but paused and looked to her father, as though asking permission. Dwight and Caroline smiled slightly and nodded.

“Hello, Meli,” Sophie shrieked as she sought to play with her sister. She babbled nonsense to her - her speech still developing - and gently played with the newborn’s tiny fingers. Caroline had to blink to back tears. Damned hormones.

“Papa, doll!” Sophie ordered with a squeak as she clapped her hands together in excitement. She would finally have someone to play dolls with other than Nanny and Mama, who both weren’t very good.

Dwight made a face, fearing an emotional meltdown. “I’m sorry, my sweet, but Meliora must sleep. You will have to wait a while until she can play dolls with you. Mama needs rest too; she is very tired, do you understand?” He stroked her wild blonde curls.

She shook her head, and her small lip began to tremble. “Want stay,” Sophie whimpered, wanting to remain with her Mama after not being allowed to see her for an entire day. Nanny had been in a state of despair trying to calm the child as she wailed for both of her parents, while both of them were otherwise preoccupied bringing her sister safely into the world. The eldest Enys girl presently clung to Dwight’s torso, her little fingers gripping the soft fabric of his nightshirt.

Dwight shot Caroline a quizzical look, and she nodded, carefully shifting so as not to wake the now sleeping newborn. “You want to stay? Mama and I need to sleep, Soso, we’re exhausted. That means you'll have to sleep also, is that alright?” Dwight kissed her forehead and rubbed her back.

Caroline rolled her eyes slightly as she placed Meliora into the Moses basket next to the bed. “Will you ever cease with that ridiculous nickname, Dr Enys?” She pulled the coverlet over her and carefully shifted towards Dwight, resting her head on his shoulder. “Sophie,” she enunciated before continuing, “is a perfectly elegant name, as is Meliora. Our girls could be the crème de la crème of not only Cornwall society but of London society. They could marry a viscount, or perhaps even an earl, or a marquess or-“

“- a penniless country doctor?” Dwight suggested with a smirk.

Caroline propped herself up on her elbow and grinned. Sophie was already fast asleep beside her father, having fallen asleep soon after he began playing with her curls, and Caroline wagered there was not a child in all the world who slept so deeply and peaceably as Sophie Enys. Caroline leaned forward and kissed her husband. The kiss was surprisingly deep, considering how little energy they both had. “No,” Caroline murmured gently between kisses, a smile playing on her lips. “They must do as I say, not as I do.”

Dwight grinned against her mouth and brought a hand up to cup her face as he kissed her again. “Bully for that.”

#carolight #poldark fanfic #fluff #poldark spoilers