#also i s2g i just realized as i was on my way home that anyone there probably thought we were a couple lmao we spent like

[asfdhgsdkjhgb]

if i had a nickel for every time the guy i like directly compared me and his boyfriends personalities, i would have 2 nickels, which isnt a lot but its weird that it happened twice

#like hey bestie??? idk what to do with that information #also i didnt gay panic too much today i just had a really fun time #the only gay panic moments were like if his face was kinda close to mine n made my heart stop for a sec or like #i volunteered to throw some stuff away and he called me ''my sweet prince'' as a joke and i literally told him that it was #gonna live in my head rent free from then on #god it was just so fun tho i havent been to any sort of fair or amusement park in so long and i havent been to that specific one #since i was in like elementary school lol #we went on a bunch of rides and swam and we even went on the biggest coaster there bc i went on it as a kid n wanted to go again #also i s2g i just realized as i was on my way home that anyone there probably thought we were a couple lmao we spent like #most the time walking around either with linked arms or holding hands lol oof #oh i completely forgot but he also said my eyes were pretty n i just internally keysmashed lmao i did not know what to say #also my brain just decided to remember the one thing where its like adrenaline can change your attraction or whatever n #that going on a roller coaster on a first date is like a good thing to do and i- oh god my brain is gonna have a field day with that isnt it #girl help i keep telling my brain that theres literally no chance that my friend likes me and it refuses to listen to me and get over him #like bruhhhhh #just me rambling again #frogs down bad

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

You know what time it is? Time for me to carry on re-reading that clusterheck known as The Misadventures of Prince Kim, on an epic journey to correct typos and question my entire life!

K we’re up to chapter 11 let’s gooooo

This is pretty much the only time in the whole thing where Max proper has a go at Kim, and honestly he deserves it!! yes nerd boy, go off!!

how to deal with the guy you’re unknowingly crushing on being your parents’ deadly enemy -- just CHALLENGE HIM TO A SWORD DUEL apparently, Kim what the actual hell

srsly though where did Kim get that sword

Adrien is so good and blessed... and also everything in his lil speech is gonna be a plot point in the sequel

Kim thAT’S SO GAY OMG YOU’RE SUCH A DISASTER BI

Everything about Max and Kim’s friendship is just so good ugh that’s one thing at least I’m proud of in this fic, the epic slowburn Kimax, it’s good and I’m happy with it

Max saying “I realize that may have been short-sighted of me” is a pun by the way (because he wears glasses), pls appreciate it

“Seasons are a social construct, Max. Time is an illusion.” I will NEVER be able to outdo the genius of this line

Chapter 12 here we go

Max’s entire reason for being in this fic is being the love interest, I swear... like in the first half of the fic he just suffers internal gay heartbreak over and over, and in the second half he’s perfectly happy with his bae and doesn’t rly have any stakes in the plot aside from wanting to keep the people he cares about safe... he’s the Love Interest(TM)

More geography lessons now, mixed in with science and history too... I know I call Max a nerd but maybe I’M the nerd

the world of the fic is so messed up, I mean Chloe’s walking around in rococo clothing and her citizens are peasant farmers wanting to guillotine her, and then there’s kingdoms like Max’s and Alix’s, who have cars and planes and phones and stuff?? this really is a game of Civ, dang

hmm... I think it’s implied that later on in the fic satellites are already in space, but here Max says they’re still being built... eh whatever I can just pretend they launched inbetween at some point or that Max’s research is a bit out of date

his speech really did have a global impact okay, I swear it was plot relevant and not just filler because I think Max is really cool and super underrated or anything

the entire Animan episode is happening on the side as a B-plot just because why not

CHAPTER 13 NOW, HELL YES BRING ON THE GAY

Nath is me omg, that social anxiety amirite

Myvan is canon!!! Myvan is canon!!! I’d forgotten about that whoops

this is LITERALLY just Animan except at a ball

Adrien making puns and calling Marinette “princess”... I was not that subtle was I

yes the hot Italian noble is Lila, I wasn’t particularly subtle about that either

...I’ve just realized, the next time I’m around mistletoe I’ll just pretend to have a cold and then everyone will stay away from me lmao (Alix wasn’t pretending tho, she really did have a cold here)

YES HERE COMES THE ADRIKIM MISTLETOE KISS

it’s funny because Adrien partially decides to do it because he thinks his dad would be mad about him having a crush on Kim, but later in the fic when Gabe finds out he doesn’t really care lol

for the record the reason I skipped writing the actual kiss is because I had NO idea how to write kisses (the chapter 24 one is pretty much glossed over too!), I only started bothering later on when Kimax, because, yknow, KIMAX

Kim and Max talking about their boy crushes together is so adorable hhhhhhhh can I skip like 30 chapters already

“I can’t believe I had my first kiss, and I can never tell anyone about it because it was with a guy.” this is actually the funniest thing in hindsight because in exactly a year’s time, Kim just straight-up brags to people about how he’s so hot that even a boy kissed him last year

okay now chapter aeroplanes (that’s 14, btw)

Kim trying to stay away from home for as long as possible to avoid getting told off is the biggest mood and I hate it

the journey to Max’s kingdom took two days?? hmm... later on in the fic it seems to take less time... ahhh idk let’s just say they took the scenic route okay

now you readers get to learn some science stuff

can the show please give us Max’s canon family? I brushed over it entirely in this fic but idk how the hell I’d do that in the sequel

oh yeah so in this fic, most of the time they’re talking in French. however, they all know English too as a lingua franca thing, so that way all the stupid puns can still work because you can pretend they switched into English for those bits

KIM GEEKING OUT OVER AEROPLANES IS SO PRECIOUS OMG HOW DID I DO THAT

So if Alix took her pet snake on the plane... then I guess you could say there were... Snakes on a Plane AYYYYYY

Also, like... she doesn’t even talk to Kim and Max in the actual show, her being best friends with them is a fanon thing and that being said, I totally went for it lol I wanted her to be relevant okay

Jalil is so sarcastic in this fic (mostly because you see him from Kim’s point of view and he hates Kim lmao) I don’t even know why I did that, I just did, he’s basically just me

I swear this reads so... ugh what’s the phrase I’m thinking of? double nintendo-ey? IT FEELS MORE SHIPPY THAN IT IS, THAT’S WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY

oh dear I’m having an allergic reaction again

Alix is so violent I s2g, this is like the second time already she’s implied she really wants to beat someone up and it won’t be the last time

oh and she’s not 100% oblivious that Kim’s into her. (I know she tells him later on that she was, she’s lying to make him feel better.) she’s just very much in denial and decides to not notice bc she doesn’t want it to be true, which is like, a decent aro mood tbh

okay chapter food fight (15!)

you know what, the awkwardness between Kim and Adrien now is also giving me an allergic reaction, just TALK to each other you idiots oh my god

Kim and Marinette treat each other like cousins in this fic, idk how else to describe it really, I was going for “childhood friends” but they really have a cousin kinda dynamic

IVAN IS AN ABSOLUTE LEGEND FOR INDULGING IN THE ACCIDENTAL FOOD FIGHT and so is Chloe actually, huh

Alix just. slam dunks Nath into a vat of milk. I can’t with this fic

Typo-correcting-time!! It’s not Mr Damocles, it’s DUKE Damocles jeez Aish get it right

also whomst the heck snitched on poor Kim and got him into trouble??

OKAY SO. later on in the fic, I often mention that one monopoly match that ended up in a brawl, but I never bothered to write the match itself because I forgot it was supposed to be a plot point in the timelines thing. here in this chapter is the first time it’s mentioned. should I... go back and write it in properly? idk help

awwwww this is the first point that actually feels proper Kimax-y, they’re having a moment together at the fountain and omg it’s so cute

lol this bit where spider-destroyer Alix has to threaten Kim to put her back down is like the exact opposite of way later on when they’re playing the floor is lava and she cheats by sitting on his shoulder and he tries to annoy her into going away

also KIM I’M KINKSHAMING, YES, THE SCALIE MERMAID HASN’T EVEN SHOWN UP YET AND I’M STILL KINKSHAMING, HAVING A CUTE GIRL PLUCK OUT YOUR EYEBALLS IS NOT HOT

phew that’s enough I’m dying

#it's cursed. c u r s e d i'm telling you #misadventures #random stuff

[sanctimoniousscrawlings]

Prompt #1 : Lull of the Forest

 Greenvale is quaint. At least that’s what the townsfolk say. Personally, I’ve never been fond of life here. Half the people here are ignorant and bigoted. They’re nosy and self-serving. Nine times out of ten I’ve found that the thick veneer of kindness and good ol’ fashioned neighborliness is born of duplicity, and to be quite honest it’s exhausting.

 I’ve been saving money to leave since I turned sixteen and got my first job in the town’s only book store- a tiny thing, barely larger than my room back in my apartment. I’ve been thinking of moving to a big city- it may be too crowded for my taste but I’ve found that it has the opposite vibe to small towns. People start out assholish and then turn out to be kind. It’s a pleasant surprise.

  Here I am ten years later with only half the cash I would need to get my own place somewhere I’d actually like to be. I’m scrolling through real estate sites and beginning to reconsider the whole roommate thing, much as I revile the thought of having to live with random strangers when my phone pings. It’s my best friend, Demeter.

 D: omg Riley did you hear  Me: oyg did I hear what?  Me: and are you sure I can’t convince you to come with me  D: Dylan is gone and certainly not, you know I can’t stand urban environments  Me: pls tell me he absconded from the woods with his tail between his legs and the only thing he left behind was a trail of urine  Me: I really don’t want him living next door to me again  D: ...  D: i heard the fairy house is a pretty grizzly scene  Me: wow  Me: guess i won’t have to live next door to him after all. neat.  D: i know he was an asshole but do you need to be so blase about it?  Me: only as much as he needed to chase me with a MIG torch  Me: look, i know you aren’t supposed to speak ill of the dead (but honestly he shouldn’t have been such a dick) and I wouldn’t wish death on anyone- but I definitely don’t have to care that he’s gone  Me: besides, he probably pissed off whatever’s in those woods. haven’t you noticed that when the people who live in that house are super cool, the hidden folk just play (mostly) harmless pranks- and they have never ever attacked children  D: no, they just kill the parents and steal the kids  Me: the bad parents. We both know the Bonners were abusing their kids. And pretty heavily. How many times did you call cps on them?  D: ...monthly. But that doesn’t make it right. Those kids are probably scarred for life- and scared.  Me: maybe. I think I might try buying the place tbh- I don’t even have half the money for a place in any of the cities I wanted to move to but I have more than enough for that place. It’ll be a dent in my funds, but I think it will be worth it.  D: what  Me: hear me out: I’m a misanthropist. They are clearly also not fond of people. Maybe we’ll get along. Plus, I can keep the deed to this place to protect the forest from the idiots in town moving in.  D: First of all that’s a stupid idea. Second of all, you’re too kind to be a misanthropist. You’re just a curmudgeon. A philanthropic curmudgeon.  Me: what  Me: that doesn’t even make sense  D: you’re grumpy af but I’ve never seen you do anything to cause even the people you hate the most harm. Hell, how often did you help Dylan with his homework or share your food with the delinquents who couldn’t afford lunch when we were in school.  D: the whole “I hate humankind blah blah blah destroy all humans” thing is just a front because you always had this complex about helping everyone and it kept backfiring. And then after Ashe...  Me: sorry, Demi, gotta go. I’ve got paperwork to fill out.  D: DON’T YOU DARE MOVE INTO THAT HOUSE I S2G RILEY ANDREW FERGUSON

 I know she cares but I really can’t deal with this right now. I’ve got a house to buy.

 For the next two weeks, I avoid Demeter. I love her but she’s overbearing sometimes and I’m not gonna let her talk me out of this. All the paperwork is taken care of and fortunately, my lease was ending at the end of the month so this should prove to be a smooth transition. All my packing is complete and I get to move into my new place in another few days.  My shift ended at the bookstore so I head back to the apartment only to find a grey slip of a man waiting for me.  “Riley Ferguson, there you are. Your presence is required at the law office of Paz & Squalor. If you have some time to accompany me there, I urge you to.” His voice was strained and gravelly. “It concerns the property in the woods.”  “Sure thing. Let’s go.” I wonder if there’s a hitch in the bureaucratic workings and if there is I’m damn well gonna sort it out.

 An hour later and I’m in Ms. Paz’s office. She peers across the desk at me with a grave look on her face and I can see that she’s mulling something over. The look of concern in her eyes is disconcerting.  She starts abruptly, clearly having decided to get on with whatever I’m here for. “I’m sorry for your loss, Mr. Ferguson.”  “Loss?”  “Dylan Daniels. You are Riley Andrew Ferguson, correct?”  I nod, but the confusion on my face doesn’t assuage her concerns.  “He left the house to you in his will. And everything in it.” She opens a dwarer of her desk and pulls out an envelope, clutching it to his chest. “He also left you this.” She extends the envelope across the desk. “Sorry it took so long to get this to you. The police only found his will a few days ago- everyone was unaware he even had one until then. I just need you to sign some things.” She pushes a stack of papers and a nice pen across the desk. I’m too stuned to respond. “Riley.” She pauses and reaches a hand across the desk to squeeze mine. “I know this must be very hard for you. Take all the time you need.”  The next few hours are a blur. I find myself at my desk, clutching the sealed envelope. There’s no way this isn’t some sort of prank. He probably has the entire town in on it- they have always distrusted me here. People gossip about what sort of mental issues I may or may have. “He has the autism,” is the most favored line I hear from the elderly ladies at the old rumor mill. I am a hundred percent sure they don’t even know what autism is- and to be honest that gets to me far more than them actually suggesting I’m on the spectrum. There are worse rumors of course. I have schizophrenia and murdered my own family in a hallucination. Or I’m a sociopath and did it in cold blood. Of course, it doesn’t matter that I was asleep in the back room at work at the time- trying to avoid going home. My boss is a little scenile and his word isn’t good enough to assuage the good people of Greenvale.  They’d probably accuse me of doing Dylan in, too, if it weren’t for his proximity to the woods.  Deep breath. I open the envelope. There’s a letter inside. When I pull it out, another piece of paper drifts down to the floor. It’s stained with graphite- the pencil must have been smeared. I reach down to pick it up and freeze before I can. I recognize my own writing on the small paper. What the actual hell?  I pick it up and read it, wracked with anxiety. It’s a poem. It’s a poem I wrote in eighth grade. A flashback takes me back to when I wrote it. My first real crush on a guy. It was a boy I had P.E. with every year of middle school. I had just started dating a girl I rode the bus home with when I realized that I liked this guy and the poem quite bluntly reflected the turbulent emotions I was feeling at the time. I had a firm grasp on metaphors but even now subtly and nuance elude me when I experience emotion- which happens far more often than I would prefer. More importantly, why would he have this?  How did he even- I’m hit with another memory. I wrote that the day that little demon stabbed me in the hand with a pencil. I still have the black mark under my skin. Bastard gave me my first tattoo. He must have taken it from my binder when I was in the nurse’s office. Okay. But why would he keep this? It was fuel he could have used to burn me before I came out my senior year.  I remember the letter. With some trepidation, I begin to read it.

Riley,

 I was really hoping to tell you this in person. Frankly, I’ve been trying to for years but you evaded me at every turn. You can’t evade me at this one, though. My death ensured that- that is unless you’re not reading this and I misjudged your caliber on the whole fairy house thing. I don’t know, I figure you’d thrive there for some reason. I think Walt Whitman said something about the strongest tree in the forest is the one that sprouts against all odds.

 My eye twitches at the butchering of the quote and that he confused Walt Disney with Walt Whitman, but I carry on.

 Anyways, sorry not sorry for rambling. I like you. No, that’s putting it mildly. I think I’ve been in love with your weirdness since we first sat together in that class. I had hoped you wrote this poem about me but was too afraid to ever ask you about it. I know it’s no consolation for the animosity I displayed toward you, but I was just so terrified. Your presence left me unsettled and we got stuck together so much after that. So I reciprocated and instilled the fear in you that you put in me. It was wrong and I really am so sorry. Now you know how I feel, though. I bet the creatures of the forest got me. If I’m right, you owe me a kiss when next we meet, wherever that may be.

         Love,              Dylan Daniels. P.S. And I mean love. P.P.S. I know I got the quote entirely wrong. I bet you did that thing where your eye twitches when you can’t correct someone cuz you’re frustrated. That will be another kiss. P.P.P.S. No dictionaries were harmed in the writing of this letter. P.P.P.P.S. Well, I might have lit one on fire after.

 I feel disgusted after reading the letter. He was an asshole and a creep.  A knock at the door startles me into yelping. I catch my breath to answer it and Demeter pushes her way in.  “Sit. We’re talking.”  I do as she says; I’m still reeling from everything I just found out and Demeter is the last person anyone should ever piss off. She may be a kindly teacher and a great friend but not even the gods can save someone incurring her wrath.  “You got the house, didn’t you.” It clearly wasn’t a question but I nod quietly anyways. She sighs. “Well, if anyone from this town could thrive there it would be one of us, but still. What were you thinking?”  I stare into the nether. “I don’t know anymore. I don’t even want the house now,” I murmur. “It’s tainted. He even ruined the fairy house for me.”  “What do you mean? You knew he had lived there when you made the ridiculous plan to swoop in on it.”  I silently proffer the letter and poem without looking at her.  She lets out an incredulous whistle. “Well... He tried to put his heart in the right place. I think. Ooh, girl, this boy was a mess.” She pauses, squinting at the letter. “Wait. Did he leave you the house? Holy hell.”  Demeter stayed the night.  I woke up the next morning to a note on my bedroom door: I’ve reconsidered the roommate thing. Be back soon, packing my stuff.  If they didn’t already, the townsfolk were about to think Demeter insane, too.

 Days later and we were moved into the house, though I was still uneasy. He left a lot behind- including some nearly new furniture. Probably for the best given how spartan Demeter and I both lived. I brought a desk and computer while she brought house plants and a bed.   The house was old and quirky and had an air to it that we both adored. The rear garden was pressed right up against the old forest; with the fence having rotten away long since the tenants before Dylan had lived there, a new one was half built in its place- and wildflowers had overtaken most of the space. All except for one tree that sat in the center of our new yard, between the forest and the house. The entire rear half of the house had large beautiful windows that faced the forest, as well as a massive section of glass doors that opened up to the rear garden, almost like an entertainment area, thanks to the simple stone porch.  “Oh, I am so fixing this up.” Demeter sounded giddy, standing in the decrepit garden. “We’ve totally got this.”  “I hope so.” I can’t shake the uneasy feeling I’ve had all weekend. “I’m heading in to set up some of my supplies.”  I leave Demeter to her own devices and get to work in the back room with the enormous glass doors. After a few minutes, it feels as though the very air is weighing on me. I open the doors wide, not paying any mind to the dangers of the forest. Let them come, they’d probably make better company than 99% of the good townsfolk of Greenvale. The invigorating scent of the forest fills the room and I’m suddenly in the mood for oil pastels.

 It’s been a week now and I still feel trapped whenever I’m in the house. I feel as though I’m being watched any time I’m on the property. The eyes from the forest seem more curious than anything- it’s inside that I feel I’m in danger. After going on an unnecessary shopping trip for the umpteenth time since moving in, I decide to be productive and prepare a basket of food for those that dwell in the forest. Fruits, nuts, pepitas, and even some actual food I cooked up. I set the basket out back, near the treeline, and go back to the room I claimed for my studio. When next I look outside, the basket is empty and moved closer to the house.  I hope they enjoyed it.

 I get home earlier than Demeter and begin to make a habit of leaving food out for my new neighbors- including a dish of milk on my window sill. Each day, the basket is returned closer and closer to the house. I begin finding gifts of seeds, flowers, and odd trinkets in the returned basket. Demeter joyously nurtures the seeds into all manner of strange and exotic plants.  One day, when the house is feeling particularly stifling, I decide to go to the forest edge to get away from it. I find a cozy spot beneath a tree and start writing. I hear the basket being moved but I’m too in the flow to pay any attention- that is until I notice a curious fox looming over my notebook. I don’t want to spook it so I continue writing. Eventually, the fox lays its head on my wrist, watching the pencil soar across the pages. I suppress the urge to make a high pitched noise in joy at this blessing.  My trips to the forest edge became more frequent- as did the fox’s joining me. I started bringing treats for my new friend who cozied up to me as I worked. One day, when Demeter was out later for student conferences, I went out to the back porch- still outside but sheltered from the storm that had rolled in. I mistakenly drifted off to sleep to the sound of rain- and far more easily than I could have fallen asleep inside the house.  I awakened to find myself wrapped in a fine silk cloak lined with the softest fur I have ever felt in my life- and I pet a lot of cats. I also note that I am now inside and the doors are shut. It’s already morning, as well.  Demeter is in the kitchen, making herself a quick breakfast before she heads off to work.  “I’m glad to see you made it home safely. Did you bring me inside?”  “What? No, you were asleep on the floor when I got home last night. I feel like it’s the first time you’ve slept since we got here.”  I grunt noncommittally and leave the room.  Later on, I return the cloak, folded in the basket with yet another assortment of tasty goodies. This time I'm reading rather than working on one of my projects. The fox returns once more and- to my joy- curls up in my lap. I stroke his soft fur while I read and eventually I can hear the soft contented snoring of my vulpine buddy. I'm so comfortable that for the second day in a row I make the mistake of falling asleep outside.  This time, as the beams of morning sunlight drift through my eyelids, I’m in my room. The luxurious cloak is covering me once more and the fox is curled up next to my head. The Prompt Next

#part 1 #I've been at this for almost six hours and need to stop #writing prompt #Lull of the Forest #the prompt is the post before this one

[ocean-butch]

How is cas different from ur other girlfriends

akcjwjxia i had to wait like SIX HOURS to answer this bc of a goddamn test i had bUT OH BOY ANON AM I GONNA LOVE DOING IT alfjadjsk i just love talking about my gf i love her so much i wanna gush about her 25/8

the short answer would be basically in every way bUt imma do it part by part.

okay so, in a simplified version i’ve had relationships with people whose personalities worked well with me but who were shitty girlfriends or a good girlfriend who just didnt really fit with my personality. i’ve actually given that so much thought even before i met cass, but the point is that i met her and she was just perfect for me in both ways (technically its more complicated bc theres a bunch of logic into this that im not explaining bc my mind is weird and it would be Way too long but anyways). but ok let get into How she fits me perfectly.

first of all literally no one ever in my entire life has made me laugh as easily and genuinely as she does. im not even exaggerating, like laughing was never really A Thing for me to look for in girls bc it just never happened???? like i had fun conversations and stuff but there was never anyone that made me go “holy shit i have never laughed this much with anyone else” and we have So many inside jokes, which is a thing that i almost never have????? and i always used to wish i did bc everyone would talk about it and i’d feel like i just wasnt funny and That was the problem. and also this is really important bc its one of the things that made me realize that i liked (and eventually, came to love) her. bUT its not the only one so theres also like all these things that we like and we can talk about for HOURS like i remember when i watched infinity war and the first thing i did when i got home was call her and we talked about it for like 2 hours idek but it was great. the point is, we have a bunch of shared interests (which isnt like 100% necessary but its still really nice), wHICH LEADS ME TO: her music taste is amazing and i love that so much bc i love music With My Entire Soul and its the best thing in the fucking world (after cass & my friends and tied with the ocean) but yeah thats great too. AND i think more importantly than the last 2 things is that she is literally so fucking easy to talk to. like ever since the beginning we didnt really have that awkward phase where we run out of things to talk about and the conversation keeps dying like we never had that it just flowed so well and that was such a good feeling. another thing is also how comfortable i feel talking to her.

like i have never felt this way with any of my girlfriends bc i was always scared that i was gonna be annoying or say something Wrong and they’d start to realize i sucked and then break up with me, but shes just so kind and idk she just has this way about her that makes me feel at home and its always been there like i dont believe in love at first sight or anything like that but i swear to god the day after i met her i already felt like i could tell her anything and that was such a comforting thing and i needed that so badly at the time. i dont feel like i was able to describe this aspect very well tbh like im not doing it justice. like, she makes me feel like im not annoying at all, and like i could just randomly start ranting about anything and she would be like super invested in it, and just literally so comfortable in every sense of the word. she is my home, no ifs ands or buts, i just feel it every single time that we talk or that i simply think about her, and i have never felt this so clearly with anyone. and i think this comfort i feel with her is kinda connected with how she has always made me felt so appreciated, in a way that no one has ever done. like, i had like 2 tags about my wants and needs in a relationship, there was “my dream girl” to remind me that i shouldnt settle for anyone after i got out of a rlly bad relationship, and there was “things i wish someone would tell me” after my “first” relationship (i dont really count it bc Officially™ we only dated for a week) because my gf at the time would almost never be affectionate with me and it made me really insecure so i started that tag as a way to vent kinda. anyways my point is that i made those tags bc i would always feel super anxious in my relationships bc i never really felt loved or even wanted (aka the good personalities awful gfs relationships) i just felt like a burden and it was such a big thing for me.

okay now i’ll say that there Kinda was an exception to this before cass, because it would be unfair to say that that relationship was detrimental to my mental health, but it was still different. like, that ex did make me feel wanted most times, but not only did i still have A Lot of insecurities about the whole thing bc of some things she would say and do or not say and not do and i’d get like super uncomfortable or just sad really but also bc whenever the conversation would start to die out i was Absolutely Certain that she was gonna break up with me. it was pretty bad im not even joking. and like ofc my anxiety isnt her fault OR responsibility and like sure i still get anxious about cass sometimes but its not like that its basically just when she doesnt answer for a long time i think that something bad might have happened but even when my rude ass brain does try to tell me that she doesnt love me i KNOW that its not true, and that is a kind of peace that i have never ever had before. but anyways, so that was the good gf whose personality didnt fit mine and its weird now bc that is so obvious but i really didnt wanna believe it at the time even though i knew it wasnt gonna work out, but now its just really weird ngl (but i wont get into the why).

and now cass. wow okay let me tell you about cass. she is perfection. she is literally everything i have ever wanted AND things i didnt even know i wanted. she is everything no one else ever was and i just remembered that when we started dating in may i said that exact same sentence to abby. its just so true, she really is everything that no one else could be. because theyre not her. i’ve said this a lot of times but i really dont see how i could ever love anyone else after loving her, it just doesnt make sense to me because she really is like,, as good as it gets. there is no one better than her for me. we’re literally meant to be i s2g like when we broke up for a while i would tell everyone i wasnt really trying to move on at all bc i just hoped she would come back to me and i couldnt miss that chance. i knew she was my soulmate, although at some points i lost almost all hope (but never all) and i started thinking that maybe she was the love of my life but i wasnt the love of hers. and thats bc she really is everything ive ever dreamed of like she has all these little things that she does or say that sometimes wouldnt even mean anything to other people but to me they are So important bc theyre things ive dreamed about while my ex girlfriends ignored me akcjsjxn like, i was talking about how comfortable she feels to me and a big part of that comes from little things like the fact that even when we were just friends she would spam me when i was gone for a long time and that not only made me feel missed and appreciated but also it meant i could do that to her and it wouldnt be annoying bc she felt the same!! like, she missed me too! and me knowing that she actually Wanted to talk to me and the fact that she actually showed me she cared was super great when we started dating bc it made me feel like if i was feeling sad or insecure, i could literally just ask her to be a little more affectionate and it wouldnt feel fake bc i actually knew she cared. and you have No idea how much that meant to me bc i literally didnt know it was possible for me to feel that way. like honestly i thought it was an innate aspect of who i am that like if i asked for affection it would be meaningless? bc i’d be lowkey forcing the person to say something? but with her it felt different bc we had enough intimacy for me to feel comfortable enough to do that.

HOWEVER i never actually Had to do that bc i got insecure exactly once (1) on the first night we started dating back in may bc i didnt know how much she liked me and i was like in love with her so i thought she would think i was too much and then i told her i was sad and that i was gonna sleep and the next day when i woke up she said something along the lines of “how are you babe bc i remember you said you were sad last night and i couldnt stop thinking about it bc i want you to feel good all the time” and thats something so small but wow it just meant so much to me bc i would cry and beg any fucking force in the universe to make my last ex do Anything At All to try to make me Not Sad and it would be awful and i would feel so so unloved and then cass just said that and something clicked in me and i never doubted her feelings to an actual Meaningful extent while we’ve been together anymore (like ofc i get insecure sometimes and especially when we broke up, but while we have been dating ive never gotten like actually Sad™ specifically bc i wasnt sure she liked me) but it gets even better because some of the things she does are so so special that i never even imagined them like shes literally unreal, i literally never thought someone like her existed and its just so wild to me that i get to be with her.

and i know im saying a bunch of cliches but i mean it all so much like i remember when i was dating one of my exes i was learning her first language but she didnt try to learn mine and i really wished she would bc i just always loved the idea that someone would do that for me?? (and she was like the good gf so yknow,, just how that relationship literally did Not even compare to cass) and guess what yes cass is learning portuguese and its the cutest thing ever btw bUt the point is she does all the little things ive ever wanted in a partner (i literally have a post with a list of things i appreciate in a partner and she does all of them!! well, the ones that arent like irl or smth) also i literally have a draft in this blog that is a list of cute things cass has done/said that means a lot to me personally but i didnt post it yet ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ and like theres just so so many things that i havent talked about, like how im not even sure if i was ever in love with anyone of them anymore because what i feel for cass is just so different and so much more, or like how cass actually makes me want to try to get better, which ive never actually wanted before bc it always seemed to scary, like she literally makes me wanna be not only alive but also happy bc she makes me feel like i deserve it. she has been such a good influence on me and my mental health and thats so important and its the first time someone has been this good for me.

but anyways the point is that cass is right for me in every single way like she really is my other half she literally just is everything that she is and thats how shes different from my ex girlfriends.

#according to my girlfriend i spent over 2 hours writing this #AltHouGh #she DID distract me a few times bc she was being cute #and i love her #wow i love her #i know anon is definitely not gonna read this but my girl will alhajska #mine #answered #anon #luna

[fuckedupriot]

I'm procrastinating

I was tagged by @stitchesespobeansturntan hello!!! nicknames? beep beep gender? i? don't know my pal star sign? cancer height? like 5'3 or 5'4 please send help or a stool for me to stand on time? 2:14 pm (edit bc as I post this it's 3:11 this took me nearly an hour rip at least I admit I was procrastinating with this) birthday? june 24 favourite bands? hippo campus, remo drive, public, bad suns, coin, walk the moon, foster the people, pinegrove, monday night, american authors, cruisr, the wrecks, weathers, saint motel, secret weapons, urban cone, x ambassadors, young the giant (OK I can literally go on forever and these are mostly in no particular order beyond hc & remo being my top faves rn) favourite solo artists? bleachers (jack antonoff), Andy grammer, oh god this is making me realize I don't listen to much solo stuff lmao OH I forgot to put focus ring (erik paulson) so adding that too also nathan stocker (hippo campus, but if ur reading this post you Knew That already) song stuck in my head? ok see this is hard to answer when I'm actively listening to music bc then that song is the only thing on my mind but I guess "don't know for sure" and "old ways" (both are by Monday Night) get stuck in my head a lot last movie you watched? see if I knew I'd be asked this I would have made sure it wasn't frickin zootopia but here we go it was fcuckign zootopia I s2g,, it's on Netflix oh my god I watched it bc of the meme and my dad ended up watching it with me for like over half of it??????? he was on his way to bed but just sat down and watched it last show you watched? I don't know?? I don't really specifically sit and watch stuff that often but I probably fell asleep with George Lopez on or somethin bc I always sleep with nickelodeon/nick@nite on,, when did you create your blog? probably in january this year but I started using it in february literally the day I saw them lol what do i post? hippo campus and random totally unrelated text posts last thing i googled? "focus ring bandcamp" (focus ring is erik from remo drive's solo stuff) do you have any other blogs? (like 100+ sideblogs mostly with hippo campus urls feel free to ask me for one or thirty lmao I was gonna maybe change this url or my main but I love both too much but here's the ones I sorta use) @oldrecordplayer (main) @remowalk (remo drive) also a twenty one pilots blog that barely gets updated and a blog that I thought id maybe use for public (the band!!) but nobody posts about them so it sits unused!!! @dottribe also ?? I've got a room design ideas blog with an iCarly url for some frickin reason?? @afanofhammers uh there's also my blog I used to use when I played runescape BUT I'm not even gonna talk about that anymore ashdkglh do you get asks? sometimes, mostly just random questions abt the boys!! why did you choose your url? lyrics to Violet!!! following? uhhhh around 2k bUT JUST TO BE CLEAR I've uh had this blog for years and I made the Mistake of following Everyone who interacted with my only post that had over like 200 notes lmao (it ended up getting like 3k I think rip) bUT that's how I met at least one friend on here so. worth it? followers? around 715 I think?? hello pals favourite colors? black, red, grey, white, gosh I'm boring but my room is all those colors so I'll list those lmao but I do love every color especially in rainbows (ahajskfl I'm Not straight pals) average hours of sleep? 3 or 13 I know that's not the true average mathematically speaking but if I were to do that I'd look like a normal person who sleeps a normal amount each night so I list both numbers so it shows how Truly a Mess I am lucky number? hmm never thought about it but? maybe 21 lol instruments? I tried to learn guitar but rip (literally oh no) to that idea and I bought a uke to try to learn to play that but i never did but it's cute it's rainbow!!! (of course it is though lmao) what am i wearing? dark blue jeans with holes in the knees and my work shirt that has a rainbow cat and a cucumber on the back it's not as cool as it sounds and next month I'm gonna put all of my hoards of shirts from the last like 2 years in a pile and burn them because I'm losing my job so I won't need them and then I can wear clothes I actually like to work ideally if I even have a job whoop$ (ok that $ was a frickin typo but. whoop$. OK that one was intentional) how many blankets do i sleep with? like 5 dream job? Having one after next month!!! lmao help me pals dream vacation? mpls to see a hippo campus home town show,, so close yet so far legit someone pick me up,, it's only like 600 miles out of ur way if ur from mpls pleas e (abt 300 each way) also uh I know I should say some kinda destination out of my Actual state I live in but I literally? don't have any place in mind I just love concerts favourite food? you can't go wrong with like pizza or sandwiches that covers a lot also pasta ?? nationality? I'm like. 90% Norwegian lmao ig my town claims to be the most Norwegian town in the USA or something ridiculous like that lmao idk I heard that somewhere but idk if it's confirmed tho? favourite song right now? buttercup by hippo campus!!! I just rewatched the video of the (I believe) first ever live recording of it from my first hc show back in feb and I just love that song so much and that video reminds me every dang time!!! I'm not gonna specifically tag anyone but if you'd like to do this go ahead!!

[muckinnon-blog]

HEY FAM, I’m Jules, my pronouns are she/her or ve/ver, I live in California and I’m tired of this FUCKING HEAT. I wish I lived in Scotland. Anyways, here’s Marlene, it’s my first time playing her really in a group this way so I’m super excited. I’m totally up for plotting and I capslock wayyyyy too much. 

SOFIA BLACK D'ELIA —— Well, if it isn’t MARLENE MCKINNON, the RAVENCLAW superstar. For those of you who don’t know HER, you can spot them sitting with the other SEVENTH years. Most people think that they’re ADROIT and PROGRESSIVE, but they can also seem pretty BLUNT and ARGUMENTATIVE Sometimes people call them the INTELLECTUAL REBEL. Sure, they’re a PUREBLOOD, but that doesn’t define them. (( JULES; PST; 22; SHE/HER OR VE/VER )) CHARACTER INSPO: Dee from IASIP, Alexander Hamilton from Hamilton the Musical, Veronica Mars from Veronica Mars. 

MORE PERSONALITY TRAITS

+ loyal, curious, confident, stable, strategic

- stubborn, dogmatic, loud, pompous, brash

Growing up the youngest out of three, the only girl, in a conservative Jewish Pureblood family was what Marlene knew. She had a happy childhood, easily, but one that was extremely sheltered. So much so, she wasn’t aware that muggles really existed ( despite having a few in her family tree -- which is why she’s Jewish ). Having a family that was perfectly nice, perfectly happy with each other and encouraging of Marlene’s curiosity to an extent was perfectly nice. She read every book she could get her hands on in their cottage by the sea in Eastborn. She explored the beaches, the grounds, people watched from afar. She dressed up for Pureblood parties and fucked around with James Potter at them, already over everyone being so cordial and prim. Her brothers and her loved each other, Andrew the oldest was Quidditch obsessed and Michael the middle boy was an artist. Her life before Hogwarts was like clockwork, the cogs in the machine were moving perfectly and Marlene grew tired of it. She made trouble by asking question after question, none of which were really answered by her parents. The books weren’t enough, she’d read them a few times over. The countryside was beautiful but she wondered was was beyond the sea line. Infinitely curious, Marlene wanted to know more, craved to know more and when getting to Hogwarts -- she was sorted into Ravenclaw for this very reason. 

Marlene was angry when she realized how much her parents had hid from her. How much they’d neglected to tell her. How much they had limited her. If there was anything she realized she hated, it was not knowing, so she absorbed all the information she could from possibly everyone she could. After she saw the prejudice towards muggles, muggleborns & halfbloods a fury was born. How could they not tell her what the world was actually like, warts and all? How could they not tell her the world was not just friday night dinners, books, neutrality and quietness? Marlene, who came to Hogwarts questioning, loud, and observant went home questioning, loud and furious. How could you! How could you not do something about what was happening in the world! How could you not tell me how fantastic muggles were! Her parents had no answers simply because they were just ignorant. Marlene refused to act like things were okay when they weren’t, she refused to stand still look pretty for her parents at pureblood events, to be anything but a storm when there were women & people around her she saw were so oppressed – that became her rebellion. Her disconnect from them. She took it too far, it was an extreme but she needed to be what she was to pave a path. It was something she knew she had to do and it was how Marlene McKinnon, the BURNING comet kerosene sapphire girl was born. 

There was so much she had to make up for, and so much she was willing to learn. Her muggleborn friends were promptly questioned about their lives, her halfblood ones too. Anyone who dared to hurt them or hurl insults at them -- Marlene didn’t allow. She shot off at the mouth, easy, at the bigots she seemed to find so many of. BLOOD TRAITOR, she wore the label proud because she was standing up for what she believed in. Marlene would spend time learning how to duel, perfecting her technique, doing her schoolwork and receiving near perfect grades, drinking copious amounts of coffee because she loved it but also because it helped her to keep on going. Marlene was rude, but fun, and sometimes you had to tip toe around her. Mold to HER. She demanded presence, and that’s what was rebellious about her – she was a different kind of woman than the one she should’ve become based how she was raised, a huge feminist, she made people apologize to her first and she wouldn’t dare swallow her pride. Marlene was determined, would go around picking fights because she could and thought that pureblood bigots in particular needed to be knocked off their pedestal ( maybe just so she could stand on it – or help other women, other oppressed people do so ), she never hid that she loved girls and boys be damned what anyone else thought. That’s why she was rebellious, not because she partied, did drugs ( which, was limited to pot due to Qudditch and now underground rebel group  ), and other various other things. She chained smoked off the ledge of the Astronomy Tower when she needed to stop and gain some clarity. 

While some of her housemates lived in shades of grey, she didn’t, in fact, she quite resented it having the sort of black and white mentality she has. But, she could enjoy the challenge because she always needs a challenge. Marlene feels the only way she’ll learn, truly learn and at all understand this war is if she makes things harder on herself. She wants to see the grey, but there isn’t time for it when there’s a war based on blood status brewing around her. Even if she neglects to make proper boundaries, even if she neglects so much, this is who she is, it’s who she has to be. It’s the only way she feels she can make up for her own blood in a sense, for her own privilege as well as protect her friends – by making herself a target of sorts. It’s odd because with this combination you’d think that she would be somewhat lost in the world, it seems like she gives so much to her friends but really, she’s not at all lost in it which is something a lot of people her age can’t say. With this, Marlene has cultivated a strong sense of self – she is true. You can never say that you do not know who Marlene McKinnon is, but more importantly, she never strays from being herself.

OTHER IMPORTANT POINTS: 

marlene is a little shit, sarcastic, loud, an excellent dueler but more likely to punch you in the face first than hex you.

is in love with muggle shit. muggle EVERYTHING. muggle ANYTHING. MUGGLES. 

is not one too ever apologize really, and if she does it’s because she knows she’s fucked up

honestly will fight you and your ignorant ass mother and will not hesitate to insult bc NO CHILL

a big fan of the holyhead harpies

beater for ravenclaw ( i asked for her to be the captain too ) and honestly loves quidditch

loves languages and wishes she could travel the fucking world 

tbh even tho she’ll physically fight you she’s pretty bad at it SO she’s probs had her ASS BEAT LOL

is a big big ass nerd i s2g, loves the hobbit, her brother calls her a hobbit

her middle brother is gay, her oldest is straight and they’ve jokes that marlene is RIGHT in the middle 

got more into judaism from other muggle jewish students, another reason she’s so !!!!! about fighting because this is very much reminding her of the holocaust bc it is genocide what voldy is advocating and she is ready to fight. never again. never again. 

though she is jewish she’s been breaking so many rules while at hogwarts but definitely keeps kosher at home. 

in the future in the order, i see marlene being a strategist, she is observant and able to read people well if she tries and she’s able to assess strengths and weaknesses. her brain moves a million miles a minute and she’s able to see ninety scenarios before they happen, so it makes her a good strategist. she’s a very good dueler too but she’s got an excellent brain that’s often overshadowed by her ..... fucking loud ass mouth

oh yeah SHES GOT A FUCKING LOUD ASS MOUTH I SWEAR TO GDOjgfihowg

also, marlene is on the asexual spectrum?? i would see she’s demisexual tbh, but she’s very sex positive. she’s just not obsessed with sex or trying to get laid or anything. 

IF YOU READ THIS ALL UR THE REAL MVP AND LIKE THIS IF U WANNA PLOT AND ILL HOP TO YOU

#novumintro #JIOREIWJFOIERJF DAMN #( star of the sea | marlene. ) #IM HAPPY I WROTE THIS OUT THO

[gilmoregirlsbigbrother]

EPISODE #4

After Bobby leaves a scathing message at eviction, the week starts with tension building.

Andrew

after Bobby’s hypocritical ass message in the chat that he sent before leaving before anyone could respond (Bella teas) I have realized my goodbye message was too nice. Hey bobby, maybe you shouldn’t expect people to message you when you’re on the block when YOU are the one that should be campaigning. Maybe you shouldn’t just heart react a message when YOU start a conversation without actually replying. Maybe YOU shouldn’t shit on people for not being around when they have to work when the exact same thing happened to you (justice for isaac). Just say you hate dan and get out of the chat djdjskjdje literally no one asked.

Dan

Hey Bobby, don’t let the door hit you on the way out. Way to leave before anyone can respond to you. Also, if you had a problem with me you should have been upfront in PMs when I asked you if you had a problem with me. If you ever want to chat about this be an adult and come to me about it like I tried to. Timmy is the superior twin xoxo 😘

Andrew

Nick

The best thing about having an endurance comp when you are in the minority is that you can make it your own destiny and win! Let’s ruin some players moods

After a Counting HOH, Nick wins and Andrew feels threatened. Chelsea butts heads with production, and rubs the house the wrong way with her inactivity. Nick nominates Dan and Karen, to Dan’s surprise. The gang goes House Hunting for POV.

Dan

I love that people think Karen and I are close? I would never use POV on her and that’s just the tea sis. I just feel so betrayed by Nick because I actually liked him, but it kinda makes sense. He’s friendly with Madison and Bobby so he’s probably just letting them control his game. I don’t think I’m a pawn at all and I think I’ll likely go home this week so  :)

Andrew

so ig aligning with clash has paid off at the moment. hes really my only bridge to nick rn. nick didnt put me up and put up karen and dan with the sole purpose of taking out karen. ALLEGEDLY. idk how much i trust it and i feel like i am still very much a backdoor option, as well as sammy bc i still feel like clash could be a snake. clash SAYS that nick wanted to do sammy and i, but that he convinced him to do karen and dan which... i guess. idk like clash and nick could just be playing me and/or sammy for fools but if thats the case then at least im onto it. nick and i supposedly hashed out this dumbass premade shit that madison and her two braincells worked overtime to concoct before she left by trying to label myself, ricky, isaac and karen as a premade. thanks ugly. anyway clash has also thrown JG under the bus to me as snakey and JG keeps saying he wants to work with me but? where? where is it? show me the car fax? i cant with these people i s2g if i get backdoored im gonna eat my own fucking right leg.

(a little while later)

manipulating nick is my middle name. Unless I’m still a backdoor plan ✌️

nick: youre in the majority me: https://twitter.com/i/status/1082847245110657025

Nick

I’m trying my hardest not to ruin everything during my hoh... but I’m just so cut throat sometimes I leave leave people pissed off. I’m hoping I won’t need to name a new nom, but I guess we will see. Dans gotten more and more on my radar after his little outbursts where he’s tried calling me out and emotionally manipulating me. We shall see what happens but I’m definitely now happy with my nom decisions based off the reactions I got to someone just being a pawn.

Andrew

okay so I guess I'm actually working with Nick now....maybe. Also Dan wants to be "spicy" with Drew and I and vote out whoever is next to Karen - which at this point would be Chelsea - which I would be fine with if it weren't for the fact that I'm putting on the guise that I'm selling my soul to Nick when I honslee still don't trust him. That would also require a lot of work bc like........Clash leaked to me about a chat he has w/ him and Sammy and Dani and Chelsea so I'm assuming they're gonna wanna protect her. But then also Liana is prob gonna wanna protect Karen. There's some conflicts of inch rest happening here but we'll get through it ladies. The most important thing is I basically have so far gotten away with murder since the Madison vote and I'm still just tryna stay off the block as much as possible hehe.

Dan wins veto, and Chelsea is the renomination. Instead of campaigning to stay she campaigns to leave, and people stress their annoyance.

Nick

So Chelsea is campaigning.... TO LEAVE. There goes my plan to get rid of Karen who told me in the main chat the other day she just doesn’t wanna talk with me and ima assume she means she never wanted to because that’s how it feels. Whatever I guess. I hope someone I trust wins hoh because I’ve burned a few too many bridges I feel

[groundramon]

★ ★ ★ ★ ★

:O!!!

I’ll take this as asking for five facts about five characters bc im currently waiting for all/most of the items to unlock on my current zoo tycoon game and idk what to do to kill the time besides this sO:

Character 1: Skift (bc I dont talk about him enough)

1. Skift is a very ambitious person.  One of the main reasons he enlists in the army in Majjikku is in hopes of some day becoming a war hero.  He’s also easily influenced by other peoples’ approval or disapproval, despite how adamantly he would insist otherwise if you ask him.  Hence why he wants the validation of being a household name and a hero in the history books.

2. The other main reason he enlisted in the army is because he absolutely despises his family.  I’m still working on the kinks of his backstory but the jist of it is that he comes from an extremely large family with a neglectful mother and an absent father.  He and his other siblings around his age were raised by their elder siblings, but Skift had the misfortune of having a personality that completely clashed with theirs and often got in fights with them, that sometimes even turned physical.  As soon as he was old enough to enlist in the army, he left home and headed to the nearest enlisting center (which unfortunately was several days away since they lived in the middle of goddamn nowhere, but he makes at least)

3. Skift has no real education, living in the middle of nowhere and not having anyone to teach him skills.  When he was younger he got along with his siblings better and was able to learn basic math, and of course he can speak fine, but he probably can’t read very well and anything besides basic addition and subtraction is a mystery to him.  Having said that, illiteracy and a general lack of scholarly knowledge, isn’t uncommon on the Parity side, as they have the very minimal requirement of laws and government required to run a government.  (Literally you can kidnap someone and as long as you give them adequate shelter, food, and water, and you dont abuse them or anything, the “police” wont do anything about it)

4. Skift gets a strong rush while in the middle of combat.  Adrenaline does good things to his psyche and as long as he doesn’t suddenly realize that those were real people dying on the battlefield, he’ll be in a good mood for the rest of the day after a Parity victory.  He’s not bloodthirsty, but he does get uncomfortably into it when in the heat of battle, even if he has to watch the person he’s killing die in front of him.

5. Skift in a way is supposed to be a sort of clueless libertarian/anti-ally who isnt a bigot.  Like, think a white person who doesnt believe in systemic racism but wouldn’t discriminate against a person of color because the whole reason they dont believe in systemic racism is because its bad for the economy.  (Which, it is, they’re right about that lmao).  I dont know entirely what I’m planning to do with that concept because I dont know if I, as a very dumb white person, have the ability to play with racism/the concept of colorblindness like that, but I hope I can do SOMETHING with them.  Either I’ll need to educate myself or I’ll just change that trait to being dumb about politics in general, I dunno.  (Because he doesnt really care about the politics of Parity vs Halcyon, he just agrees with the Parity because thats all hes ever known.)

Bonus fact bc I had too many: Skift is pretty heavily inspired by the design of an old warrior cats OC I had named Falconstar/Falcon.  He’s not exactly a dead character (I dont do anything with Warrior Cats anymore but if I did, he’d be on my list of potential characters to reboot, altho i dont know if id have the heart to take him out of the universe/AU he’s from…) but I feel like their personalities are different enough that they wont be mistaken for one another.  Also Skift has a stupid scarf.

Character 2: Phillip (or is it Lenny? Idk I think I changed it to Phillip)

1. Phillip is also from Majjikku, I should mention, but he’s a part of the Halcyon side.  The first thing I should mention is that he’s a prince, and 3rd in line to the Crayking throne - he has an elder brother who joins the army with him, and an elder sister who stays behind to keep the kingdom safe with their aging parents.  I believe they also have a younger sibling or two, but they’re too young to be politically important.  Anyways, its worth mentioning that the only reason Phillip was sent over her sister is because he’s an inadept spoiled brat, and the Halcyon side was asking for at least two members of royalty to join their ranks to form an alliance, so Phillip was sent alongside their actually combatually adept elder son.  The Halcyon sent Phillip to the “less useful” soldier training camps, while his brother was able to ascend straight up in the ranks of the army.  Since arriving in Halcyon territory, Phillip hasn’t seen his brother once.  (It’s worth mentioning as a side note, the Craykings only allied themselves with the Halcyon side to protect their own necks.  They believe the Halcyons have the upper hand in the war, and want to be on the right side of history when the war concludes.  And they dont have the strength to stand up to both sides; the Halcyons have promised to protect their underwater empire from the Parities due to their allyship.

2. As I mentioned, Phillip is an inadept spoiled brat.  Years of coddling in his palace have turned him into a demanding asshole who makes jokes at the expense of others and has overly high expectations from others, despite thinking he himself deserves to sit on his ass all day.  There’s a deep reason for it, as there is for all my characters, but there are so many layers that caused him to act like this that at this point it’s just become his personality.

3. Having said that, Phillip grew up in an environment where acting nice was more important than being nice.  Who cared what you did behind closed doors, so long as you put on a presentable front?  He’s extremely charming and sociable in big social events, often making on-point jokes and contributing in a seemingly meaningful way.  In fact, he’s arguably even better at it than his two older siblings, since they have opinions of their own and aren’t just a mindless robot for their parents to interject their thoughts and opinions to.  Phillip is very good at regurgitating what he’s been told, and has a very flawed and honestly nonexistent sense of self because he has never had the freedom to make his own opinions.  Or rather, he was told how to act and feel, and he never had the strength that his siblings had to make his own opinions on what was being taught to him.

4. Phillip wears a fancy bowtie and he refuses to take it off for unexplained reasons.  There’s no deep reason to it, I just like bowties.

5. Phillip believes that both of his elder siblings are more adept and intelligent in every aspect.  He respects his parents authority over the kingdom and part of why he acts like a jerk is because he legitimately has no idea what he’s doing and would rather die than inherit the throne.  He knows nothing about politics, despite his entire life being politics (in more ways than one).  The good news is that it seems like if something happened to both his elder siblings and his parents, it would probably go to the next sibling below him, even if they were still under 10 at the time.

Character 3: Glitch

1. Glitch REALLY needs a new name but I’m currently trying to come up with an idea of how Glitch could mean something different in their world (Majjikku, I should clarify), but right now im empty-handed and please help me.

2. Glitch is blind, or at least has significant sight problems.  I think.  I dont know, I really need to develop Glitch more.  Maybe he just needs glasses like I do and without them everything is hella blurry but at least he can get around.

3. Glitch’s species is often used as horses in the Halcyon army due to their obedient nature and high intelligence for a species that generally isnt considered “sentient”/having human intelligence (I know sentient isnt the right word, hence why I clarified).  Glitch’s species does have human-like intelligence and capabilities, having the capability for empathy and compassion and self-realization just as much if not more as other Majjikku species, but they generally lack in vocal and academic intelligence.  Glitch is unusually vocal for his species, a mutation that comes up in packs of the sauropod-like species every now and then.  Because of this and his sight problems, he was put in the same “lesser” squadron as Phillip, instead of the same training the other young from his herd were given.

4. Having said that, “unusually vocal” for his species is still very quiet most of the time.  He has a strong understanding of the words of those around him, stronger than most of the rest of his species (although they can comprehend language, just not as quickly) and can articulate full sentences in a reasonable amount of time, he just prefers not to.  He also can’t go on half-an-hour-long rants about things because he would run out of words and brainpower very quickly, which god I wish that were me because I will talk until my mouth falls off and its 3 am i s2g im not even exaggerating.

5. Glitch has no understanding of the war but as his herd is encouraged to help the war effort, as opposed to being forcibly taken (which was outlawed and deemed unethical when more and more offspring like Glitch started popping up), he supports his side and would gladly die for it.  Also he loves his friends, even Phillip.

Character 4: Aquarius

1. I love Aquarius!!!  Somehow she became my favorite Majjikku character and idk why.  She’s got cool pants, thats probably part of the reason.  Anyways Aquarius is Marble’s best friend in the series; they become fast friends on the train to their squadron when they begin talking about their similar experiences in being dragged away from their families and forcibly enlisted in the army.  (Is it horrible to enlist 13 and 14 year old kids in the army by force?  It absolutely is, that’s the point; I dont take my characters being young teens like most stories abt young teens do, I’m well aware they’re going to be fucked up as fuck and I’m exploiting that for all its worth.)  Aquarius came from a big family of 5 with an absent mother and a nonexistent father, where her elder sister raised herself and then raised her.  Unlike Skift, Aquarius became very close with her eldest sister, although they both share a resentment for their parents because of their shit awful parenting.  Aquarius was forced to join the army because her three younger siblings were too young for the army, and her eldest sister had to stay behind and work a job and care for the younger kids, something Aquarius knew she wouldn’t be able to do.

2. Unlike all the other characters I’ve mentioned so far, and hell probably all the characters in Majjikku in general lol, Aquarius actually supports the Halcyon for what they stand for.  Obviously with her absent mother and father, Aquarius and her siblings needed a lot of financial help.  Thankfully that’s what the Halcyon system was built around, and the government was able to get Aquarius’s eldest sister a stable well-paying job and the entire family enough money to get a decent place and pay for food for a while.  The government still monitors their family regularly to make sure they arent squandering the money and that everything is going okay, but they did far, far more good than harm.  Aquarius believes that this is the best form of government; a form of government that on a very personal level cares for its members and helps them through hardships, and forces them on the right path.  In our world, she’d be a socialist through and through, if not a straight-up communist.  (Having said that, I do believe Aquarius would have different political opinions if she grew up in our world.  The difference between our world governments and the Halcyon government is that the Halcyon government…actually gives a shit about people.  Most of the people who work for the government are volunteers, who at best get a small place to stay and some food.  Like, the Halcyon actually help 99% of the poor population in the Halcyon city.  The amount of financial aid given outside of the city significantly drops, but in their city, being homeless and poor is illegal but instead of throwing you in jail for it they’ll help you get out of it.  If you squander it then you’ll end up in jail, but still.  Idk what Aquarius would believe in differently if she grew up here, but I dont think she’d be a straight-up communist because we have too many failed communist governments in our history.)

3. Aquarius and her family’s coloring is very odd for her species.  The bear-like species that her family is made up of is generally brown, red, yellow, orange, tan, white, gray, black, ect - normal-ish fur colors.  Blue, at least to the extent that Aquarius and her family have is nonexistent.  It is likely that she and her family have a small percentage of an aquatic species’ DNA, such as a crayking, in them.

4. Aquarius loves being supportive of other people and listening to and relating to their struggles.  She’s actually a pretty good motivational speaker and is a pretty great friend.  She’s great and I love her.  Also the pants.

5. Aquarius clashes a lot with Shade, another character in her squadron.  I’m not giving Shade his own section but the reason is that he’s an overly negative character, constantly throwing shade at the Halcyon side and complaining about training.  However, once she realizes the reasons for his dissatisfaction with his current situation, she stops calling him out when he says stuff against the Halcyon side.  She does start to debate her own opinions a bit after that, and has a lot of long conversations with Marble about it in their shared bedroom.  (If anyone’s interested in Shade feel free to send me another star asking about him, or reply to this post or w/e! otherwise ill just keep it a secret lol)

Character 5: Grace

1. Thank god, a character that isn’t Majjikku-related lol.  Anyways Grace is the embodiment of a rebellious teenager.  She doesn’t listen to any authority, goes out of her way to do bad things, and will purposely disobey what you say even if she doesnt want to do the thing she’d have to do by disobeying you.  The whole reason she gets involved in Spirits’ plot is because she knows taking money from a stranger to play with the laws of science and reality would be firmly in her dad’s list of things she can’t do.

2. Speaking of her dad, he’s a little bit of a dick.  He’s the reason she’s so disrespectful towards authority.  He’s basically just a stereotypical religious nut; anti-gay, anti-transgender, anti-atheist, anti-anyone who isnt christian, anti-drugs, and he even enforces some form of gender roles.  And he’s very vocal about these things.  He tries to be a huge helicopter parent, but Grace can and will avoid him, ignore his punishments, and stay out so late that her parents cant yell at her for disobeying them.  Her father is very vocal about his displeasure and downright hatred of Grace sometimes, and ever since she started questioning his words when she was a young girl, he’d yell at her for it.  Her older brother isn’t too great either, but he’s more of an annoying slouch who plays video games all day instead of working than a legitimately bad guy.

3. Grace believes she’s straight because she has no interest in being sexual with a woman, but she’d be totally down with kissing and cuddling and being romantic with a woman, hence why I identify her as a biromantic heterosexual.  She’s also the most sexually active of all my characters, which no I will not elaborate on that, not because I dont feel comfortable with it but because I dont know how the fuck that works.  (Also side note, I headcanon things in my own stories so I like to headcanon that at some point Grace and Shawn get together and they can be all romantic and mushy n stuff together but Shawn’s totally okay with Grace going out for one night stands with guys so long as she stays safe.  Obviously they talk everything out to make sure everyone is safe and okay with the relationship, but Shawn’s pretty okay with it; she’s pretty used to Grace having sex with no romantic attraction involved, and ofc Shawn isn’t into sex so she doesn’t feel like it’s a problem.)

4. Grace is closer with her mother than her father, but although her mother is very much a mediator and acts very kind and forgiving to Grace, Grace still kind of despises her.  Just because Grace’s dad is a dick doesn’t mean she isn’t too.

5. Grace’s spirit form is a bloodthirsty wyvern with major anger problems.  Each of the kids’ spirit forms have a slight personality outside of the kids themselves, and Grace’s is bloodthirsty and destructive - not intelligently so, but still.  Most fo the kids’ spirit forms are pretty mindless and just mindlessly destructive, except two.

#thank you for the ask!! : D #stormy answers #majjikku #skift #prince phillip #aquarius #glitch #grace

[unproduciblesmackdown]

sometimes the wild thing with depression is looking back and trying to figure out when it started and never really being able to draw a line for anything like "this was the earliest age it All Began(tm)," probably because there's not generally such an On-Off Switch type process to it. i know usually circa ten yrs old or later in the teens is usually what people point to but sometimes more of a period of exacerbation rather than origin, and who can say it's not also having the emotional and psychological capabilities and capacities that young children don't that bring a greater sense of perspective and awareness, idk anyways so i'm not sure if i was ever not-depressed or anything....i know i was always uncomfortable outside what was familiar and "shy" and i know that as soon as i was around other kids in a way more socially organized than running around together, namely preschool at 4 yrs old, i was aware of not feeling like i fit in and noticing i couldnt make friends like other people could. ive been good at bs-ing school from the start and happen to pick up things very quickly so even though i probably had the same habits as kids with the worst grades and had no particular ambitions re: academia (beyond avoiding parental wrath and later maintaining the identity that kinda protected me a bit in school) since i got really good grades and was quiet and pretty much just read in a corner when left to myself from kindergarten through middle school, i was probably considered a usually ideal student. i remember a couple of people who i felt i was genuinely friends with, a kid named michael who i think went to a different school after a couple of grades, and a kid named jacqueline in 2nd grade who was like me so quiet in retrospect i'm not sure if she knew much english but we played legos together and stuff but then we got in trouble for not paying attention during not even a lesson but i had to move seats b/c arbitrary Making An Example and since we were both so quiet we just didnt interact much anymore to avoid further attention. i made other friends technically but generally it took a long time to be comfortable with them and we were never close and in the meantime i dont think i ever much liked school. i remember one random sunday evening just getting upset about not wanting to go back the next day just because it was boring and meantime at home of course it sucked but i didnt quite realize it til i was older and it helped of course being young enough to be able to go outside for hours and be perfectly entertained playing in the dirt and trees and stuff. i read a lot at home too i remember having pretty skeptical thoughts about Life from earlyish on but, besides spending a crap ton of time just in my own head (reading, playing in dirt) i think i had ideas that life and the world was pretty amazing. like earlier on of course it was like "is magic real??" but then later its just stuff like reading in books about how kids had good friends and families and got to pursue their interests and do things and work out drama and have nice endings with a lot of hope for the future. for all i could tell the only thing keeping that from being my life was that i wasnt old enough, or probably i hoped that it was just a matter of time. it was less like i was extrapolating from my own limited observations of the worse aspects of life that life must be great and more like i was already noticing that my world was lacking and just hoping that it would grow out of it; not to mention being given the hint that stuff like abuse was my own fault and shortcomings i started getting more aware of being fed up with things / that they weren't inherently going to change around like late elementary school / middle school but it would take another year or two to really get the extent of it, and in the meantime by 14 or 15 at the latest i was consciously suicidal so like, moving fast there. i probably by that point had already caught on to the fact that my world had just been kind of shitty and that it wasnt going to change or seem better after a certain amount of time like i'd thought it would. and then add also having a better understanding of the rest of the world just by being older and getting more experience and realizing that its a lot more chaotic than initially taught to you and that being depressed and having developed few interests and zero ambitions and having antagonistic parents and very few friends doesnt do much to give you as much a cushion from that chaos as it could tangent: honestly i like programs that teach instructors how to recognize things that look like Behavior Issues as maybe more being signs of external issues. i wasnt the best at paying attention and i was often quiet in school whether in class or not and it mightve been a problem if i didnt get good grades but since i did i could just be in the background. i don't particularly resent this or anything because i know how teaching is and i myself didnt really understand i had serious problems at home until much later, but in retrospect i think i always had signs. i remember one particular incident when i was about 8 really shouldve been a bit of a warning sign. i know nobody can really do anything even if they know things are bad but considering i had to learn what abuse looked like by myself and i didnt feel supported by any adult and even when i knew what was going on when i was much older i still just didnt tell anyone in any position of authority because i had learned i had to protect myself by keeping personal things totally confidential and that if i exhibited any signs of struggling i would be blamed and chastised for it. wouldve been nice to at least be informed what was going on at an earlier time and maybe given some sense of confidence or at least a sense it wasn't completely my fault. turns out what gave me any ounce of confidence at all was being like 19 and being so blamed and maligned that it backfired and i started feeling like if i was as awful as i was made out to be then surely i didnt need to feel ashamed and responsible for everything that was being done to me. if i already deserved to be dead then what more could i bring on myself by daring to be so terrible as to feel i shouldnt be treated like i was! checkmate atheists anyhow, i feel like my Good Concepts About The World kind of evolved from "later on everyone has adventures" to "later on everyone goes to middle school / high school and makes friends and bonds with their family and follows their dreams" to something just more vaguely escapist with abstracted ideas about simply feeling comfortable and nice, with maybe general imagery, usually like summer sunsets or just some nice stars or something. i thought about it once and it made a lot of sense, thinking about stuff in terms of the concept of feeling ok and good things existing in the world and being able to sense it despite it also being at a distance or otherwise removed like dont get me wrong just because i wanna be dead i dont have some kind of notion that everyone else's experience of life is the same as mine i.e. that life and/or the world is inherently shit, i know its no more objectively bad than it is objectively good. i still like to think about the good side of all of it. i think its a total mistake to have the idea that if someone is suicidal or even just depressed that it necessarily has anything to do with what they think of the philosophy of the concept of Life, its more personal and immediate than that. honestly i hate all the advice about how you need to write a poem for your suicidal friend to teach them the magic of life or do some otherwise melodramatic bad y.a. novel shit that'll give them a New Perspective on the wonders of life literally overnight. not only is it always disgustingly patronizing and often counterproductively Tough Love-esque but also totally like unrelated to the root of the problem of "what if i'm worried about a friend making a suicide attempt." if you're personally wanting to do something i s2g literally just provide a distraction. talk about random shit or play online scrabble or go over and make midnight snacks, not like set a flower on fire while dropping a porcelain teapot on the floor and lecturing them about how this Doesnt Solve Any Problems or is a permanent solution to a temporary problem like no. just be a distraction jfc and dont insult anyone by generalizing their experience and guessing at what's probably an extremely complex and personal matter and turning it into empty clichés anyways: this was the longest way to get to the idea that isnt it wild when, like how you can Hear a sound in your head and despite recreating it decently its different from actually hearing it externally, you can sometimes remember what it was like to feel nice about the concept of life? i cant really summon earlier things but sometimes i can remember flashes of having those later sad-person-in-their-own-head moments of thinking of distant abstract concepts like seeing the sky as a medium for connection to the infinite experiences of humanity, and i can get like the equivalent of a visual image of a recreated feeling from back when i still had a few lingering overly-optimistic notions that things would be good soon. don't get me wrong, again im still aware of the good things in life and i still have good experiences and still feel good feelings. but i dont harbor expectations that the course of life must and will average itself out or lean towards improvement for any reason, like knowing that good things happening to you out of the blue is the same as how terrible things can happen for exactly the same reason—namely no reason at all. so i just dont have the same feelings i used to about my own personal life, and i dont feel the things i used to when i hoped it still could be Only A Matter Of Time. so its wild when for some reason i mentally stumble on the memory of having those feelings and theyre still recent enough that i get a moment of recreating the feeling like i do when i can picture something in my head, and its totally different and dissonant than what's currently true for me. it wasn't a more accurate perspective to think that life being bad meant it had to improve, but its obviously a nicer feeling. and it sounds like overused to the point of meaningless comparison but its like getting your head above water for a second in terms of the momentary contrast of sensation tldr its wild when you depressioning 24/7 and dead inside and have an instant of remembering What It Was Like To Feel Things

#long post ///////

[feliix]

i mean it sorta depends, i dont really dislike any sign or specific placement but there are ones that are more difficult for me to understand! People with heavy earth influence either balance me out really well or confuse the Fuck outta me. I have very little earth influence so i have had Some issues w authority, im pretty messy and i have a hard time with implementing structure and sticking with it, and can let my emotions make judgements rather than logic.

A lot of my important placements are also younger signs. (i think of signs a lot like children within their triplicity, cancer is the youngest of the water signs, scorpio the middle child/only child and pisces the eldest, in the water sign “family”) so bc of that, capricorn is usually the sign i have a hardest time understanding/relating to. they are the eldest, an earth sign, And cancer’s polarity so honestly...it tracks.

also anyone who Doesnt have a water moon. cancer is just so at home in the moon and i Cannot wrap my head around processing emotions in Any other way than just Feeling Them Constantly and Overwhelmingly

(i have two friends with earth moons that tried to explain to me how they process emotions and it was like a foreign language i s2g)

also sorry for the, like, Essays, i just really get excited about astrology. its so fun and such a useful tool for self awareness and reflection. Do you have a favorite placement in your own chart that you’re just really happy with? (mine is my leo sun and venus in my 5th house. and also just my Big Three in general bc i got the youngest sign, the beginning as my beginning, the sun sign in the sun and the moon sign in the moon which just Makes Sense and i just Like It)

-🖤

I def feel you about those earth placements!! my mom is a capricorn and growing up with her as my sole guardian was both a blessing and a curse. caps are super headstrong and particular and my placements are very expressive and independent so that was a challenge growing up but it taught me a lot!

I feel the same with fire moons though, my girlfriend and nearly all of my best friends have fire moons and I think it really makes communicating and stuff much easier!! but I so have a couple placements that I really like! one is my scorpio mars, I just think it’s a really feisty placement and it gives me a lot of spunk (not that my big 3 being all fire isn’t enough😭) I really like my leo sun and moon too though! idk it’s just something about being a leo that I feel like is a flex but I know it’s not actually because literally everyone on earth has a zodiac sign. but yea I just like being able to be like “yea i’m a leo😌” for no reason at all other than the fact that I think it’s cool and that’s enough for me 😂 my least favorite part of my chart though is my virgo venus though (and yea, it’s in retrograde too LMAO) I just think it makes me so hypercritical of my relationships with other people which sucks because most of the time I don’t realize i’m doing it! but you’re absolutely right about self awareness!! I use it a lot for introspection – like just a few weeks ago I realized I had this extremely deep seeded thing about being right and it only took a few hits of an herbal remedy to realize exactly why I’m that way. so yea tldr; astrology is really fuckin cool!!

#astrology talk 🦋 #🖤 anon #hazel answers #anons