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popculturebuffet · 11 months

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Into the Spider-Verse: Spider-Ham (Marvel Tails #1 and Peter Porker, The Spectacular Spider-Ham #15) (Comissioned by WeirdKev15)

Hello all you happy webheads and welcome back to Into the Spider-Verse, my look at the origins of every webslinger from the landmark film in the build up to Across the Spider-Verse. And it's bittersweet to be this close to the end of the web here: i'm proud of myself for this project and kev for having cooked it up as it allowed me to really dig into my love of spider-man, and comics in general, with new ideas and even possible new retrospectives wholesale coming out of this.

But before we can end this ride, we still have one Spidey to cover, who after our previous spider-persons adventures with crackers and milk, their predecesors literal oppisite sex clone, mob goons without fear, rock n roll pop art halluciongens in your giant spider mecha, and giant spiders stripping you naked, one man comes along to say..

Yes it's time for the debut of Peter Porker, the Spectacular Spider-Ham a

And i'm sure many of you, both those familiar with the comics and those who just watched the movie, are asking the same question: why. The answer is simple. Way way back in the 1980's, Marvel had a new animated arm, Marvel Productions, which was a massive deal, producing both GI Joe and Transformers, which both started as comics first to promote the upcoming toylines, as well as Dungeons and Dragons, My LIttle Pony Tales, Muppet Babies, Jem and the Holograms, Kid N Play and the Biker Mice From Mars. There were also of course marvel cartoons like Spider-Man(the 80s one), Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends, The Incredible Hulk, the more popular Incredible Hulk and the infamous and destined to be covered Pryde of the X-Men Pilot.

So naturally Marvel wanted more ips to feed into the almighty merchandising machine, because shockingly, companies have ALWAYS wanted every dollar they can get out of making more and more adaptations as long s they can afford it. So two writers set to work to spitball this: They were Tom DeFalco, a longtime spider-man editor who would go on to write the guidebook I had as a kid that really got me into the comics and taught me a lot about his rogues gallery and more importantly would write the book himself briefly, being the one to crystalize Mary Jane's tragic Backstory and her knowing Peter Parker is spider-man all along. WIth him was the wonderful Larry Hama, at the time writing GI JOe for marvel.. and at the time of this writing STILL writing his continuation of that continuity for IDW as he should. Hama deserves all the credit for setting the foundations of the GI Joe universe most adaptations follows and for writing one hell of a comic in the process, and not one to rest on his laurels would later have the defining run on Wolverine's solo book.

So as you can imagine when these two legends get together.. they created a simple but enduringly weird joke that has lasted decades. It's a concept that just works: Spider-Man.. but he's a funny animal. Weirdly though Marvel Animation passed on it, not wanting anything to do with it despite the fact that in a time when Garfield was at the peak of his powers and they'd be making muppet babies, funny animals were a VERY easy sell. Seriously why Marvel Animation was so stupid is a riddle for the ages but Marvel liked printing money, so they put Porker in a one shot, Marvel Tails, parodying the marvel reprint mag marvel Tales. That said DeFalco didn't expect much from it and was suprised months later when the higher ups asked for another issue. He explained it was a one shot.. and then they asked when the next issue was and he got the memo. While DeFalco wrote the one shot that launched the character he freely admits he's not the one who made him a star. That honor goes to Steve Skeates. Skeates had been a mainstay in the industry, paticuarlly having a run on Aquaman i've been trying to read for some time that really launched the character to new heights before Superfriends would shove him back to the depths for a while. He was burnt out on the industry and freely admits he wouldn't of done the book for Larry Hama if it was any other book, but felt the format allowed him to do a throwback to the kinds of books he liked writing while still throwing in plenty of comedy to keep it fresh. The result was pretty great, with Skeates wisely having Porker's various foes not be the obvious joke of being the animals they resemble, for instance the Vulture being a possum in a buzzard suit instead of a vulture.

And we'll be seeing that contrast between Porker's humble one shot joke beginings and evolved more nuanced parody as unlike most of the characters featured... Porker didn't get his origin story for a while. While most of the spider-persons got there's in their very first appearance or arc, Porker's origin didn't come about till late in his solo books run. So today we'll be looking at both his first appearance in Marvel Tails, and his origin story in Peter Porker the Spectacular Spider-Ham #15 under the cut!

Spider-Ham begins his career in a typical spider-man setting: stopping a typical gang of thugs with ease and some quips. But it's not long before we get into one of the weird things about this story, something that just dosen't really work with it: Captain Americat. Cap is pictured here as Peter's steadfast partner and a reporter at his paper and none of this works. Now this is an AU, it COULD work and the idea of steve and peter being closer partners and steve mentoring him is great, just as the idea of Tony mentoring him was a brilliant one the movies captalized on. But here it's just treated as a normal thing without really being used for a joke that this is so unusual. A large part of this is something that's easy to forget as it hasn't been true about the character since the early 2000's. Spidey.. used to be a bit of a loner when it came to the rest of the Marvel Universe. Granted he was the kind of loaner who had an entire ongoing dedicated to him teaming up with other heroes and a tv show where he had two super college roomies he'd fight crime with, but when it came to consistant teamups his only real super friends were the fantastic four and in a few years Daredevil. Spider-Woman existed, but Jessica was largely her own thing by design, with only the name in common and wouldn't really become an ally or even friend of peter's till they were in the avengers together. Peter would have team ups but he really wasn't super close with the rest of the marvel universe. This changed in the early 2000's as his joining the new avengers gave him a lot of new allies in the marvel universe: He'd be on the new avengers until Brian Micheal Bendis left the book, he joined HIckman's avengers for the first arc, with Doc Ock taking his place, and joined the Mighty Avengers and Mark Waid's avengers afterwords, only in the last few years taking a break from the group entirely, ironically as his MCU counterpart became heavily associated with them himself. Not only that the dawn of the spider-verse and miles migrating to become the 616's second spider-man, meant peter soon had a spider-family.

Even now in his current tirefire of a solo i've been purposfully avoiding but suspect i'l lhave to confront some day, he has Ms Marvel, soon to be thrown in the fridge, Norman Osborn, long story, and his current girlfriend the black cat. Peter's no longer the solo operator he once was.. but back then it's very weird fo ra parody of the character to just.. casually hang out with Captain America regularly and this angle was wisely dropped.

This isn't the only weird thing in this issue either. For some reason rather than pulling from peter's many rogues, the issue has him face the Masked Marauder, some punk ripping off a super high tech arcade. It comes off more like a Scooby Doo Mystery complete with various red herings and the actual culprit showing up early on. He's not even the main threat as the everlovin hulk is also shoved into this issue. His origin is a little neat, with Bruce Bunny being an arcade game maker who gets shoved into a cabinet.

The result though just isn't that funny. Ther'es a good joke about steve stashing his shield in his coat

But otherwise i'ts just kinda.. there and didn't leave the best first impression back when I first read it. It's nicely drawn, but dosen't have much actually to say or any really satire of the character. It's clear they had the name but no idea what to do with it. THe backup is pretty funny though, the weird Goose Rider, take a while guess, who just.. spends it riding around, thinking about grabbing a burger, and dealing iwth shouty civlians and some random doofus called chainsaw. This satire.. actually works as from what I can tell Ghost Rider's early rogues gallery before his reinvention in the 90's wasn't all that impressive with few exceptions. It's more what I wanted. Thankfully when Peter got his title shot, things perked up and by the time we get to his origin... we get something delightful.

As you can tell both by the cover used for this review and from the title, this one's a parody of spider-man no more. Even if you haven't read the story (I've only read the iconic issue iwth the cover), you've doubtlessly seen it's cover, and the various homages to both that and the shot of peter throwing his costume in the trash and walking away, both by spider-heroes and the rest of the marvel. It helps that Sam Rami choose it as the backbone of Spider-Man 2 and ended up making an even BETTER version of the story in the process. Even Miles had his own version of it after his mom died and he blamed himself for it since the second ultimate venom was the reason she died. If you've read more recent comics and seen Rio alive and well that's because Miles befriended the Molocule Man, a very shy man with the power to control molocules... which shockingly for comics has been treated every bit as horrifyingly powerful as it should since his introduction, with MM's only real wekaness being his crippling neurosis. So when the universe died and was put back, Molocule brought her back as a thank you present. I had a point here.. ah yes.. I love the Molocule Man and feel he's a highly underated character. Oh that with the severe stress and sacrifice of being a spider-man, it's not a huge leap to have that moment of doubt. And it's an even shorter leap to take that moment and parody it and Peter's angst for all it's worth. We open with J Jonah Jackal hooking himself up to an idea machine while his three young wards, the junior newsboys watch. They are Jermiah Jackal, JJJ's snooty nephew, Bunson Bunny, our resident nerd who talks in big snetences and Upton Adam Stray, a combination of a black sterotype and

If your getting some deja vu from a rich magnate having three young sidekicks who both acompany him and try to steer away his worse instincts, one of whom is jonah's literal nephew.. GOOD. It means you have good taste and also get the bit. Spider-Ham has a bit of the old Scrooge McDuck stories in it's dna, simply adding spider-man and his rogues to the mix, and really JJJ is such a perfect fit for scrooge and Peter for Donald, that I can't blame both writers for dipping into this formula when it fits spider-man shockingly well now he's a pig.

This issue is written by steven Mellor, who took over the title later in his run, but like Skeates does a really fun job with it.

With Jonah having peter come to the clubhouse to view an idea he came up with that involves the kids

Peter deals with typical spider-man things. That is trying to get a date with his ex Betty Bat. It goes about usual for peter

Also as you might have noticed, hilariously, Peter Porker looks a LOT like John Mulaney, despite having been created only one year after John was born. I mean he's also a talking pig but the hair is distractingly like his future voice actors and I love it.

Baby P decides to handle this like a mature, rational young swine

Before bemoaning that he's still single.. what I like is that Mellor both really gets how Peter Parker Mopey Rants work, and milks it with everyone starring not sure what to do as peter ineternally rants and the janitor eventually asking him to leave as he's getting his tears on the floor. Peter then reflects back to his origin, the reason we're here. And even for a talking pig.. peter's origin is hilaroiusly bizzare. It's my kind of weird shenanigans. Okay so in this version Peter.. was a spider, which is clever enough.. but May was a mad scientest who befriended peter and showed him her new invention: a fission powered hairdryer. It made her radoactive, it wasn't good.. and well... I can't say what happens next and have most of you belivie it actually happened so here's photographic evdience.

This.. this is comedy gold, and clever as all hell. Just deciding to have may be radioactive nad bite peter. It's as nuts as it is brilliant and I love it. So we get the standard origin moments of Peter testing out his powers.. and we also get a nice gag out of him bending a pipe in the original amazing fantasy #15

Peter returns to find may basically the dodering old lady sterotype she was in earlier spider-man comics, and decides to look after her and not tell her the truth, as well as put his powers to use. Peter's genius in this version is also from the bite and thus Spider-Ham is born

After running into flash thompsons counterpart, who sadly isn't named flash beagle, we get jonah's meeting where he's dressed himself and the boys up in superhero outfits and ...

To become Black Beagle and his beagle brigadeers. Peter is dragged along for this and this.. is easily the weakest part of the issue. While the idea of Jonah becoming a hero himself is great and has been used well, here it's just kinda there and is mostly a setup for them to befriend "Andy Warthog" and see a bunch of celebrity pastiches. It's a boring page or two

Thankfully it picks up with a delightful parody of one of my faviorite spider-man rogue as the Hobgobbler crashes the party! God bless this pun. He kidnaps one of the celebrties and we get a ncie character moment. Despite how silly this character and his origin are... it's still neat to see the core of spider-man.. is still present.

No matter the universe, no matter who wears the mask... they can't turn down responsiblity. Try as he might.. Peter just can't let someone else get hurt if he can help it and that's what makes spider-man the hero we love so much: that drive to help people no matter what it takes. It's what makes a spider-person what they are wethere they be man, woman, ham or nb.

So Peter naturally wins, in a nicely drawn fight, cooks the turkey and drive sJonah home. He WANTS to just get some deserved sleep but Aunt May has other plans.. thankfully said plans give our hero his much deserved happy ending. Action is already his reward.

As you can probably figure, this issue is a massive improvment and it's clear even with two diffrent writers, the full ongoing got the concept better and more importantly had more fun with it. The result.. is fucking great. Also the puns. Dear lord the puns. And that's not getting into the backup which has the scavengers fight kangaroo the conquerer. Who damn well better be among the council of kangs. At any rate this issue was greatr and even with the brief slowdown, is a great issue, not only getting me reintrested in this run, but also showing off just what you can do with a parody: have it be both heartfelt and clearly get what it's making fun of while still being great.

Next Time: The web ends as we look at the movie itself. Anyone can wear the mask but is one Miles Morales up to the task? Can he fill peter's shoes? Well yeah, I mean there's even a sequel, but it's still one hell of a ride.

#spider-man #peter porker #spider-ham #mary jane waterbuffalo #john mulaney #into the spider-verse #across the spider-verse

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msmargaretmurry · 1 year

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ok first i have to come in by saying tnno is one of the best things i've ever read. anyways this is a super super indulgent request so feel free to ignore but would you happen to have anything else in your wonder twins activate doc that you wouldn't mind sharing 👀

hi anon, sorry for taking a few weeks to get to this! i don't have a lot more shareable content in the wonder twins gdoc, but could i interest you in some wonder twins backstory? and i'll put a little snippet from a scene after that ❤

kev is a middle child (older brother, younger sister, all pretty close in age); he is from small-town alberta and played his junior hockey in saskatoon. he was drafted high in the second round. of the pair, he is both the more fastidious and the more chaotic one. he has a tendency to care more about other people than about himself.

tanner is from the ottawa suburbs and he played his junior hockey with the 67s. he has one older sister who is several years older than him; she also lives in toronto now, for work, so they get to hang out sometimes, which is nice. he was a fifth-round draft pick who had a big breakout season in his draft+1 year. of the pair, he's messier but a better cook, and quieter and more introspective in comparison. he's slow to anger but if provoked (say, if someone takes a headshot at his bestie) can occasionally go apeshit.

they met when they were on the canadian world juniors team together (tanner did not attend the draft) and just clicked immediately. their world juniors team does not correlate to a real world juniors team because i'm too lazy for that, but they won silver in a heartbreaker, and promised each other they'd both be on the leafs the following season so they could play together again. kev had been having kind of a slump of a season but was :) somehow inspired :) to step it up and had a great run in the second half. both their teams went to the memorial cup, where neither won the tournament but tanner's team beat kev's, so he has bragging rights, but he doesn't use them too often.

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“You’re still up,” Kev says, sounding surprised even though he’s the one who called. “It’s like three in the morning there.”

“Yeah, the guys are all passed out, but I couldn’t sleep.” Feeling his way through the dark cabin, Tanner finds the den, then follows the wall until he hits the side of the sofa. He flops onto it, letting his feet dangle over the arm. “I’ve been really restless lately. Thinking about the season starting and stuff.”

“You’re restless?” Kevin laughs. “At least you got rookie camp! I’ve been wasting away alone in bumfuck nowhere Alberta since May.”

This is not strictly true. In June, Kev went on vacation in Miami with some buddies from junior, and he’s regularly made the 90-minute drive to Edmonton to see a PT specialist there. He’s been on several trips to Banff to go hiking and get drunk on Lake Minnewanka. Also, Kevin loves bumfuck nowhere Alberta. He owns more Carhartt than anyone else Tanner knows.

“Okay but, speaking of, how is the shoulder?” asks Tanner.

“So much better,” Kevin says, and launches into an explanation of the training and therapy he’s been doing. He’s very upbeat about it all, detailing everything his doctors have said, his timelines and prognoses, and some excruciating specifics about the ligaments in his shoulder. They thought at first he might need surgery, but he decided to try rehabilitation; Tanner fielded a lot of early-summer facetime calls to talk through his concerns that it wouldn’t work and the team would be pissed he wasn't ready for the season. But he’s feeling good — he’s started doing some light stickwork, and he’s confident he’ll be ready to go come training camp.

“You better be,” Tanner says. “Rookie camp sucked without you.”

“I don’t know why you even had to go. Everyone knows you’ve got a roster spot already. Well, I guess it’s good for the kids to have a grizzled vet around to teach them how to be.” Kevin sounds so genuinely thoughtful as he works through this that it makes Tanner grin up at the ceiling.

“Most of those guys are older than me, idiot,” he says. “Except like, the brand new ones. And I do have to earn my spot, you know.”

“No, you don’t. Your spot’s on my line.”

“Oh, you’ve already decided that?”

“Yes,” Kev says. “I’ve had a lot of downtime this summer. I decided on the whole roster.”

“You know McDavid’s not coming out of retirement to center you, right?”

Kevin huffs. “Obviously not. Stromer is centering us.”

Tanner is struck by the urge to ask if Kevin has seen the picture Dylan posted from France. Except Tanner was just looking at the comment he left on it, so it’s a stupid question. He shoves it aside and says, “Sounds good so far. Tell me the rest.”

#ask #my fic #tnno #another fun fact about them is that i did not plan for them to have a major role in the fic at first #they just bullied their way in 😂

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sunwoo-hoo · 3 years

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↣ the boyz reaction to s/o feeling stressed

↳ a/n: hello my lovelies! we are back with another tbz reaction! side note, with every reaction i get it’s going to be canon with my ‘as your boyfriend series’ so keep that in mind when requesting. this is for the lovely anon who requested this. i hope you enjoy it. ☻ 18+ due to language

↳ genre: fluff? slight angst? i don’t even know someone tell me

↳ requested? yes

↳ send me your requests here!

↳ word count: 3.4k

↳ the boyz x fem reader

「 Lee Sangyeon 」

you normally weren’t one to get stressed out often but when your job decided to give you a promotion you weren’t expecting the extra workload it would bring

you got assigned to one of the major projects your company was working on and slowly but surely you felt your energy draining with each day passing by

even though sangyeon was extremely busy as well he was worried about you

after coming home from a long day of practice sangyeon noticed when you weren’t in the front foyer to give him his welcome home kiss like you usually did

as he walked to your bedroom he saw you sitting by the desk typing away at your computer

as he made his way towards you he squatted down slightly to give you a warm cheek kiss

“hey baby, how about you take a break huh? you’ve been working so hard, let me cook something for you” he insisted

“hmm? oh.. okay, i’m sorry sangyeon, work has been driving me up the wall lately i didn’t mean to shut you out” you mumbled

he gave you a small smile as he stroked your cheek before replying “don’t worry about it baby i just don’t want you to overwork yourself” he said

during your break sangyeon is cooking you dinner, listening to all your troubles and even trying his best to help you with your project. by the end of the night expect a lot of cuddles and kisses.

「 Jacob Bae 」

stress was something you’ve always experienced, especially being a university student finishing your final year

jacob was super supportive of your dreams always helping you study in any way he can

sometimes even distracting you to get your mind off it so that you wouldn’t burn out

but as final exams were just around the corner you were so stressed to the point that you cried and threw your book across the table in frustration

jacob turned his head and quickly took notice since he was only a couple of feet away reading a book which he swiftly set down and rushed to your side

“oh babe, don’t cry please, i promise it’s going to be okay” he whispered as he wiped your tears away

you completely broke down sobbing uncontrollably onto jacob’s sleeve as he held you close giving you hushed praise

“how about we go and rest for a little? a nap would be good for you” he softly asked as you simply nodded

jacob helped you up as you made your way to your bedroom where he made it relaxing as possible turning on the air humidifier and lighting a lavender candle. he also made sure that the curtains were closed so that the room was dark enough to fall asleep to

soon enough your drifting into a calming sleep in jacob’s arms.

「 Kim Younghoon 」

it had been 3 months since you’ve started dating kim younghoon, your relationship was everything you could’ve dreamed of. it was absolutely perfect with no flaws what so ever.

with all that in mind you started to wonder why you both hadn’t exchange i love you’s. you knew younghoon felt strongly for you, always making sure you were taken care of, constantly hugging and kissing you.

the whole situation started to stress you out and make you second guess everything

you loved younghoon but you had to admit you were a bit apprehensive on saying it first, since you didn’t know what younghoon’s response would be.

he could’ve said it back, or worse, not say anything at all.

one evening when younghoon was sleeping over your place you decided then and there that you were going to muster up your courage and finally say the three words you’ve been stressing over.

as you both were watching t.v his arms draped over your shoulders you looked up over at younghoon who was fixated on the drama that was playing. you cleared your throat

“younghoon.. i have to tell you something… something i’ve been wanting to tell you for awhile now” you announced hesitantly

as he looked over at you he adjusted his body to fully look at you face on

“really? i actually have something to say as well” he replied

your ears perked as you continued “how about we say it at the same?”

he nodded smiling before counting down “3…2…1..”

“i love you” you said “i’m in love with you” he whispered

you breathed the biggest sigh of relief before sliding in his lap giving him the softest kiss as you felt younghoon’s arms around your waist

「 Lee Hyunjae 」

your relationship with hyunjae was many things, exciting, passionate, intense. never in a million years would you think it would be stressful, or let me rephrase: you never thought it would be this stressful

you received a text message from hyunjae one afternoon saying that he needed to talk to you and that it was important

at that moment your mind was going through so many options on what it could be, your thoughts becoming worse and worse.

oh god is this it? he wants to beak up with me

did he cheat on me? i’ll fucking kill him if he did

oh my god what if he’s not in love with me anymore?

as your mind was going a mile a minute you finally broke out of your daze when your friend who you were out to lunch with told you that it probably wasn’t all that bad and that you should trust hyunjae.

when the evening finally rolled around you went to visit hyunjae just right when he got home from practice.

“hey baby” he smiled giving you a peck on the lips, giving him a small you replied “hey” back as you two sat on the sofa

“so what’s going on?” you asked as you were rubbing your palms against your knees trying to get rid of the sweat

hyunjae instantly noticed your anxious aura and grabbed your hands holding them tightly giving them a kiss

“well, we’ve been dating for almost a year now and i think it’s time.. for you to meet my parents” he said proudly

you blinked a couple of times as your brain still hadn’t registered the information he just said

“i want them to meet the girl i’m madly in love with” he continued

when you finally heard his words your first instinct was to hit hyunjae’s arm

“ah! hey! what was that for?” he shouted rubbing his arm

“jesus christ hyunjae i thought you were breaking up with me!” you shouted back

he laughed grabbing your waist pulling you close on his lap putting his head in the crook of your neck “i could never” he whispered giving your neck a light kiss

「 Lee Juyeon 」

to say that you were having a bad week was the understatement of the year.

it all started when you caught the flu, you felt horrible. it was constant sneezing, throwing up, runny nose, all of it.

you started to feel stressed when juyeon risked his safety getting sick to take care of you. you especially didn’t want him getting sick when the boyz comeback was nearly a month away.

you told him that you could take care of yourself, but juyeon didn’t take no for an answer.

you had to admit even though you were sick you couldn’t deny that you loved having juyeon with you 24/7 he was being the perfect boyfriend getting you tea, wet cloths for your forehead, and making sure you took your medicine every night.

“open your mouth, good girl” he praised putting the spoonful of medicine in your mouth

“you know if i wasn’t sick you would be saying those exact words another way” you teased coughing slightly

juyeon smirked and kissed your forehead in response

slowly but surely after a week you were starting to feel better but then your sickness hit juyeon as predicted delaying the comeback for nearly two weeks.

「 Kevin Moon 」

it was a hard month for kevin, the boyz comeback had just started and he was stressing over all the performances and interviews wanting to make sure that each one was up to his standards

it was so bad that all his stress levels were slowing creeping up on you making you become stressed yourself

it was starting to effect your relationship and you knew you had to do something quick before you and kevin would get into a fight you were not mentally prepared for

the comeback was closing in on it’s last week and you had decided to make one evening extremely special pampering kevin.

you decided to make his favorite meal, wearing your sexy yet tasteful red dress, with your black lacy bra and matching panties for later activities.

as kevin walked into your apartment he noticed you immediately smiling at your attire

“hey babe, what’s all this?” he asked pointing to all the candles and dim lighting

“what do you mean? can’t i do something special for the man i love?” you replied innocently walking up to him giving him a soft kiss on the lips

as kevin deepened the kiss your back found it’s way to the cold wall behind you as kevin started to trail kisses along the side of your jaw making his way down to your neck

you were excited it wasn’t often that kevin was a dom but you had pressing matters to attend to first

“k-kevin wait… i want to talk first” you whimpered as he finally reached your sweet spot

kevin stopped immediately to your words and gave you a quick peck on lips before nodding

you grabbed his hand and made your way to the dining table where the food was most likely cold by now and sat down on the chair

“kev, i just wanted to talk about how you’ve been so stressed with this comeback and everything it’s.. it’s starting to effect our relationship” you mumbled

he sighed and agreed “i know it has, and i’m so sorry for that babe” he said grabbing your hand as he continued “i’ll promise to be better about it, you know that i don’t want to ruin what we have. i love you”

you smiled feeling 100 times better about the situation giving kevin a kiss on the cheek

you lightly laughed as you pulled apart “the dinner is totally cold now by the way”

“let’s just order a pizza, it probably wasn’t that good anyway” he teased before you shoved him playfully in response

「 Choi Chanhee 」

what was suppose to be a relaxing day off spending it with your boyfriend choi chanhee it drastically changed into a nightmare

you both decided to spend the day shopping for some new clothes together

at first you thought it was a cute idea, thinking you would get matching couple outfits so that you can coordinate for the upcoming summer season

but it quickly turned into a stressful day when chanhee wanted you to try on every shirt, every dress, and pants, you were starting to regret this little outing until you finally snapped at him

“love, you would look so cute in this why don’t you-”

“no!” you yelled quickly covering your mouth at your sudden outburst in public

chanhee gave you a puzzled look not expecting your sudden change in mood

you quickly apologized not wanting to start a fight in public, pulling him to the side of the store where it was secluded from prying eyes

“chanhee… i’m sorry it’s just i’m tired i thought this would be fun but it’s stressing me out, it’s all too much” you sighed looking down at your shoes

chanhee pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear and lifted your head up with his index finger

“oh love, don’t apologize i should be the one apologizing i’m sorry for being excited, i just wanted to have a fun day with you, let’s go home okay?” he reassured kissing your temple

「 Ji Changmin/Q 」

you had it all planned out, you were going to introduce your friends to your wonderful boyfriend ji changmin

you ultimately thought that they should finally meet him after dating for nearly 4 months

at first you had no idea why you decided to wait this long, considering you already met all the members and were close to each of them

you were extremely nervous and stressed for their first interaction you just wanted everything to be perfect with smooth sailing

changmin was going to meet two of your closest friends who were also a couple themselves

it was a chilly fall day when you all decided to meet up at a nearby cafe changmin’s hand in yours trying to warm it up blowing on it while pressing kisses

“don’t worry babe, it’s all going to work out fine” he smiled easing your nervousness

when you finally made it to the cafe your friends were already waiting and quickly made introductions

they easily took noticed when changmin ordered your drink he knew you loved and paid for everything with his card as your friends gave you hushed whispers

“wow, he’s such a gentlemen” she gushed “yeah, and he even knew your order by heart” he replied giving you a thumbs up

you smiled when changmin returned with both of your orders giving you a cheek kiss when he sat down

to your surprise the conversation between the four of you went smoothly changmin easily wooing them with his charms and cheerful aura

your friends especially had a million questions when it came to his idol life out of general curiosity

changmin didn’t mind at all answering every single one with ease even laughing at the humorous ones

your heart melted at the interaction when you realized in the end you had nothing to worry about

「 Juhaknyeon 」

you knew juhaknyeon always loved your home cooking as he was always excited whenever he came home from practice knowing he would have a hot meal ready for him

but this time was different, you weren’t just cooking for him but cooking for his parents who so happen to be visiting you two

you met juhaknyeon’s parents before who were very down to earth and humble people always making you feel welcomed

but you had to admit you were a bit stressed trying to live up to the expectations

it was less than a couple of hours away before they would be arriving and you were running around the supermarket with juhaknyeon on your tail

“babe, slow down your gonna run out of energy” he grunted breathing heavily

“juhak you don’t understand your parents opinion mean the world to me, i want them to love my cooking” you said looking down at your hands trying to decide between the beef or pork belly

juhaknyeon gave you a side hug pulling you close “they are going to love whatever you make, because i love it too” he promised kissing the top of your head

when you finally made it back to the dorms and cooked up a storm that would’ve fed all 11 members juhakyeon’s parents finally made an appearance

after the quick greetings and the light scolding from juhak’s mother telling him to keep his room neater she finally took in your food spread

“wow! it all looks amazing [name] i’m sure it taste wonderful too” she smiled warmly pinching your cheek lightly

when you all finally sat down to eat you anxiously waited for juhakyeon’s parents comments

after a couple of bites juhak’s mother proudly exclaimed “it’s delicious [name] really! everything taste amazing, i’m so happy our son found someone who can feed him like this” she praised

you bowed your head thanking her for her positive comments as haknyeon grabbed your hand under the table squeezing it giving you a wink

「 Kim Sunwoo 」

you loved your mother dearly, but she was starting to text and call you nearly everyday about when you and sunwoo were finally going to get married

even though you loved sunwoo and were dating for a year and half you told her that it wasn’t a good time yet. sunwoo had major responsibilities when it came to his idol life

not to mention that you and sunwoo were still very young and just wanted to enjoy being together before you had to tackle even more responsibilities like marriage

you were laying in bed when you got off the phone with your mother after another hour long call

you sighed staring at ceiling fan feeling pressured and stressed when sunwoo walked in the bedroom

“hey babe, have you seen my adidas hoodie?” he wondered as he saw you looking emotionless at the ceiling

he hovered over you waving his hands across your face trying to get your attention

“hm? oh sorry it’s behind the door in the bathroom” you mumbled

sunwoo swiftly climbed on top of you resting his chin on your chest “what’s wrong babe? who was on the phone?” he asked

you hesistantly replied “it’s just my mother, she keeps wondering when.. well.. she keeps asking when we’re getting married” you laughed lightly

sunwoo smirked “oh really? close your eyes” he instructed

confused you did as you were told as you felt sunwoo get off you hearing the sound of the dresser opening

“okay now open” he said as you saw sunwoo with your own two eyes on his knee with a black velvet box in his hands

“sunwoo oh my god, don’t do this to me i-i’m” you stammered as you felt your hands begin to shake

he smiled and open the box where you saw a gorgeous sterling silver infinity ring with a small diamond in the middle

“[name] this isn’t an engagement ring, it’s a promise. a promise to always love you and cherish you, and to always respect you. i am going to marry you one day, when we’re both ready. i’ve never loved anyone as much as i love you” he vowed putting the ring on your finger

you then felt the tears flow grabbing his face with both your hands giving him a longing kiss falling back on the bed with him on top of you

as sunwoo began to take off his shirt that’s when you saw his necklace with the same infinity symbol as your ring

you smiled as you grabbed his necklace pulling him back down for another kiss

「 Eric Sohn 」

it was official you wanted to kill eric, he knew you were afraid of heights. yet he manage to persuade you on getting on an airplane to go to okinawa for a weekend getaway trip

you loved that he put so much thought into your weekend, making sure to pick the nicest hotel with a view by lots of restaurants and attractions

but you were beyond stressed, the only time you’ve been on an airplane is when you were little and moved to seoul from america, you barely remember the experience sleeping the entire trip

your body was shaking as you walked up the ramp finally boarding the airplane going to your seats

eric put away your luggage above the overhead bin and took the window seat hoping you would feel more comfortable being in the middle

as you took your seats your heart started to beat extremely fast and you started to breath heavily

eric took your hands in his “babe i promise it’s going to be okay flying is one of the safest ways to travel” he promised rubbing the side of your arm trying to calm you down

you nodded “no yeah your right i need to face my fears sometime” you bravely said

when the flight finally took off your nerves managed to subdued until you hit mild turbulence which freaked you out all over again

eric quickly grabbed his sleeping mask putting it over your eyes and large headphones with loud music trying to mask your senses which worked wonders as you lay your head on his shoulder

he held your hand tightly when you finally landed getting off the 2 hour flight

as you made your way to the hotel you were in awe of okinawa absorbing all the buildings and the mass of people walking by

you looked at eric “thank you eric this is amazing, i don’t think there’s anyone else i would trust to help me face my fears” you said bashfully

he leaned over and kissed your jaw “anytime babe” he murmured

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* © sunwoo-hoo 2 0 2 1 ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

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heymacy · 3 years

Note

I love all those sentence prompts you just posted.😂 But I feel like the most appropriate one is probably:

“So why did I have to punch that guy?”

Thank you Arrow!! 💗

Ridiculous Sentence Prompts: "So why did I have to punch that guy?"

There were only a few things left in the world that made Mickey really, really angry.

The first was their property manager, Melanie, and her stupid-ass dog with its stupid, stupid diaper.

The second was the fact that a single can of beer cost four times more on the West Side than it did back in their old neighborhood. What special brand of bullshit were these crunchy granola hippies trying to churn out at the Wine, Etc. store, anyway?

The third thing, and probably the only one that would stick around after he adjusted to his new life above the poverty line, was any time that anyone disrespected, hurt, or even mildly annoyed his husband.

Every time they dealt with an irritating client or an overzealous new employee, Mickey would clench his teeth and fight the urge to knock them on their ass. One hit was all it would take, he knew that for certain. He'd taken down Ian's exes, family members, hell, even Ian himself on a few occasions, with a single punch to the throat.

Now, he was an adult, a business owner, a husband and partner that needed to play by society's rules if they were ever going to crawl out of the gutter completely.

The very idea made Mickey's teeth ache.

He bit his bottom lip while they sat side-by-side in their booth at the Alibi, waiting for some schmuck to meet them for an interview.

"We need to start interviewing the guys we hire, Mickey," Ian had said one night while cooking dinner. He chopped the carrots and celery on the wooden cutting board while Mickey sat slumped on the couch, nursing a beer and watching a TikTok Mandy had sent him earlier that day.

He looked up at his husband as he watched an orange and white cat chow down on kibble after his automatic feeder malfunctioned.

Mandy 🌻 (6:09pm): plz tell ian this is him in cat form

Mickey snorted at his phone, barely registering Ian's comment.

"Mick?" Ian tried again, and Mickey looked up from his phone.

"Hmm?" he replied through a mouthful of beer.

"I said we need to start interviewing the guys we hire," Ian said again, using the knife to scrape the carrots and celery off of the cutting board and into the giant pot he had boiling on the stove. Mickey wasn't sure what he was making, but it smelled amazing.

"What for? Those resumé things ain't good enough for you?" Mickey's mouth quirked up on the side as he tried to hide a smirk.

Ian rolled his eyes and used the comically oversized wooden spoon to stir his soup.

"No, Mick. So we don't have another Connor situation."

Mickey snorted. Connor was a dipshit they'd hired back in April to help with pickups, a dipshit that had cost the company almost $2,500 after he "forgot" to make the deposit with Ian and Mickey at the end of his scheduled route.

"I mean, his name's Connor. Kinda feel like you should've known what you were walkin' in to with that one."

"I'm serious," Ian said. "Interviews. We gotta do 'em." He stirred the soup vigorously, the spoon clanking against the side of the pot with every twist.

Mickey sighed deeply and rolled his eyes.

"Fine, we'll interview some new guys. But we're not doing it at a Starbucks or some shit. I'm not ready to go full West Side." He scrunched up his nose and made a face, to which Ian just chuckled.

"Glad you're on board," he teased, getting back to work on his soup, which had started to bubble.

Kev and Vee had moved to Louisville a month before, transferring ownership of the bar to Carl and Officer Tipping, who promised to keep everything just as it was. It gave Mickey a sense of calm knowing that even as the rest of his old neighborhood was slipping away, his adolescent stomping grounds now littered with coffee shops and yoga studios, some things remained the same.

He ran his fingers along the familiar crack in the table, a sharp sensation prodding the pads of his fingertips and helping him forget, even temporarily, what they were there to do.

Ian smacked the back of Mickey's hand gently.

"Stop it," he said, referring to the way Mickey was two seconds away from giving himself a splinter.

Mickey huffed and rolled his eyes.

"What's this guy's name again?"

Ian looked at his phone where he had an email pulled up. He glanced over the message then scrolled to the bottom.

"Derek," he said plainly.

"Derek," Mickey mocked, and Ian whacked him in the chest with the back of his hand.

"Knock it off," he said, and Mickey rolled his eyes again.

"Whatever. He's late anyway, let's just bail and go get some pizza."

"He's not late, Mickey. It's only..." he looked at his watch. "3:58. He's got three minutes until he's late."

Just then, as if summoned by Ian's voice, a tall, lanky, blond man walked through the front door of the bar and made his way towards the back corner booth where Ian and Mickey sat.

"You guys Ian and Mackie?"

Ian snorted as he tried to hide his laughter. Mickey rolled his eyes a third time, this time so hard that it was honestly impressive he didn't snap his optic nerves in the process.

"Mickey," Ian corrected politely. He nudged his husband with his elbow and the two of them climbed out of the booth to meet with their interviewee.

Ian shook his hand firmly.

"I'm Ian, and this is my husband Mickey." He smiled and turned to Mickey, who was standing with his hands in his pockets and giving Derek, all six feet two inches of him, an intense once-over. Elbowing his husband for a second time, Mickey relented, pulling his hands from his pockets and reaching out to shake Derek's hand. His giant palm was cold and clammy but also somehow uncomfortably hot. Mickey grimaced.

"Hey," he said gruffly. "Mickey."

"Derek," the other man said as they shook hands. "So you two are married?"

Ian nodded.

"Little over a year now, yeah."

Derek nodded.

"Cool, cool, cool," he said, nodding and looking around. "So this place is...interesting."

The judgmental and condescending way Derek said "interesting" wasn't new or unusual to either of them, but tall lanky blond bitches with North Side energy and a terrible fade saying "interesting" like they wanted to say "disgusting" made Mickey's blood boil.

He clenched his fist without even realizing what he was doing. Ian noticed immediately when Mickey's shoulders tensed up, stiffening in a way that reminded Ian of a startled cat, and he turned to climb back in the booth. He squeezed Mickey's arm once, twice, and dragged him down into the booth with him.

"It was a family friend's place," Ian said, nonchalant, eager to move the conversation away from the Alibi and towards their business. "So, Derek, on your resume, I see that you worked--"

Derek cut Ian off mid-sentence.

"Have they ever thought about turning this place into some sort of art installation or something? Just with the open floor plan and the exposed pipes, it's very pseudo-industrial-chic."

If they hadn't already assumed before by his distinct vocal fry and the smell of coconut hair gel, Derek's use of the term "pseudo-industrial-chic" solidified what the other two already knew: there were three gay motherfuckers in this booth.

Ian stuttered for a second, surprised by Derek's interjection and resistance to changing the subject.

"Don't think so, no." He grabbed his phone and opened up the Gmail app again. "So, anyway, your resume says you worked at--"

"You know what would be really cool in here? A movement class. I went to one in LA once that was hosted by Gwyneth Paltrow and it was liberating."

Mickey snorted and Ian elbowed him in the ribs.

"I bet it was," Ian said, unamused at Derek's refusal to talk about his work history. "So you worked at--"

"Have you guys ever been to LA? Oh my god, it's the best. So chic. I mean, I'm from Evanston originally, so basically anything is chic in comparison. I mean, not here, obviously, but you know. Other places."

Ian sighed.

"Totally," he said. "So, your work history, it says--"

"Hey, do you guys know what the best dispensary is around here? Preferably something upscale, with those iPads you can order on. I need a few new carts--"

"Dude," Mickey cut in. "Can you shut the fuck up for five seconds?"

Derek looked surprised, and Mickey could hear Ian's sharp, apprehensive inhale.

"Excuse me?" Derek said, holding his hand to his chest.

"He's been trying to ask you the same question since we sat down, and you won't shut the fuck up about chic cities and weed, so if you could just answer our questions, that would be great." He looked over at Ian, whose eyes were wide and hesitant, unsure about how things were about to unfold.

"You're very rude," Derek said to Mickey, giving him a scowl.

Mickey snorted.

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know."

Derek's eyes narrowed and his forehead wrinkled up, agitated.

"You should be nicer to the people you want to hire." He crossed his arms over his chest like a petulant child.

Mickey laughed out loud.

"Dude, who says we wanna hire you? I'm pretty sure if you worked for us, I'd blow my brains out in the first two minutes."

Ian tried and failed miserably to conceal his laughter, covering his mouth with his hand and looking down at the table. Mickey leaned over towards his husband.

"I kinda wanna punch this guy in the mouth," he mumbled, and Ian side-eyed him from where he sat beside him.

"Please don't," he replied in a whisper before composing himself and turning back to Derek.

"Look, Derek, you seem like a nice guy, but I don't think this is gonna work out." He held out his hand to signal that the interview was over, but Derek didn't return his handshake. Instead, he pouted like a toddler that had just been scolded for bad behavior.

"Your husband's a dick," Derek said to Ian, and Mickey could literally feel Ian's body stiffen next to him.

"Hey," Mickey said, putting his hand on Ian's knee. "Forget it. Let's go get pizza."

"No," Ian said sternly, turning back to Derek. "Listen, dude, you're also kind of a dick, so why don't we just call this a wash and you can go track down your carts or whatever."

Mickey bit his lip, fighting a smile. He secretly loved when Ian got defensive, as long as it wasn't directed towards him.

"You're both dicks!" Derek said, slamming his hands down on the table. He slid out of the booth and stood up, and Mickey and Ian did the same. The three men stood there, Derek facing the husbands with a pissed-off expression.

"You should go," Ian said, pointing at the door.

Derek snorted.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised. When the ad said South Side, I knew there was a good chance the owners were a couple of trashy, ghetto assholes. But him?" He pointed at Mickey. "He's a world-class dick."

Before Derek could say anything else, he was cut off by a fist to the jaw and dropped to the floor, unconscious.

The ambient chatter and loud clacking of billiard balls came to a halt as the regulars that sat scattered around the Alibi turned in unison to see what had happened. Once they identified the source of the loud "thud" as one of the Gallagher-Milkovich boys knocking out some blond giant, they immediately turned back to their various activities.

Just another day on the South Side.

Ian cupped his right fist in his left hand and turned to Mickey, bewildered.

"I just punched that guy, Mick," he said, genuinely surprised. "I knocked him out. Shit."

Mickey shrugged.

"He kinda deserved it."

Ian looked at Mickey with a really? sort of expression and shook his head back and forth.

"Still," he said, turning to look at Derek, sprawled out unconscious on the floor like a rag doll.

"C'mon man, it's fine. He'll come to, and when he does, we'll be long gone." He grabbed Ian's upper arm and gave him a tug, but Ian just sat back down in the booth.

"Why did I do that?" he asked, but Mickey knew he was talking only to himself. He sat down beside his husband, stepping over Derek's long ass leg on his way back to the booth.

"I mean, you kinda had to."

Ian looked over at Mickey, eyebrows raised. He stared at his husband for a moment, puzzling, before breaking into a smile.

"What?" Mickey asked, confused as to how Ian could go from having some sort of moral crisis over knocking out a hipster to grinning gleefully at his husband in a half second. Ian reached over and put his hand on Mickey's thigh. Immediately, the mood shifted. Pool cues squeaked as they were chalked up and glasses clinked on the countertops. The distinct chhh-chhh sound of a spray bottle punctured Mickey's ear drums as he looked down at his husband's hand on his thigh.

"So," Ian said, voice quieter than before. "Why did I have to punch that guy?"

Mickey smirked. He could be honest, and say the obvious reason, which was that Derek was a total douche canoe and deserved to be socked in the mouth by someone his own size. He could lie, and say it was because Derek seemed dangerous and Ian was just following his instincts, but that would have been the lie of the fucking century.

Instead, he said neither, and opted for something he knew would make Ian smile.

"Because you love me."

Ian's face broke into a full grin and he giggled, leaning over to kiss his husband once, quickly, well-aware of Mickey's hesitancy towards PDA when they were out and about on the South Side.

When he pulled back, he was smirking, and Mickey knew his cheeks were flushed. He hadn't been expecting the kiss, however brief it was, and his stomach felt a little fluttery.

"I mean, I'm not the kind of guy that just stands by and lets people talk shit about the man he loves." He grinned and Mickey rolled his eyes, remembering Ian telling him about the last words he'd said to Glittery Twink Byron the night they'd gotten engaged.

"You're a fuckin' sap, man."

"True," Ian said, standing up from the booth and stepping over Derek's leg as Mickey had done minutes before. He reached out his hand and pulled his husband from the booth. The two of them stood there momentarily, staring at Derek's lump of a body on the sticky, peanut-shell covered floor.

"Should we like, do something?" Mickey asked, kicking Derek's foot with his own boot. The man didn't move a muscle. Mickey wondered for a second if he might be dead, but the shallow rise and fall of the douche canoe's chest let him know that unfortunately, for all of humankind, the asshole was still alive.

Ian shook his head.

"Nah, he can sleep it off."

He reached down and took Mickey's hand in his own.

"C'mon," he said as he dragged them both towards the door. "Let's go get pizza."

#writing prompts #sentence prompts #ficlet #the husband energy is strong with this one #shameless

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red-becca · 3 years

Text

The Streamer And The Model

I republished this with my laptop bc why not? Make it look better. Also, just realized I don't really have anything about Red on here that screams "model" other than it being mentioned. So, yeah. Gonna be writing a sequel of sorts or just another oneshot basically that is connected to this one. Hope you guys can wait for it.

---

"Mmm... Okay then." Kevin hummed as he sets up his face cam for his stream for today. "You guys can see me good, right? I see the comments and all the other stuff you guys say, by the way. About how I need to show my face more and well... Here I am. I still struggle with setting it up on this new program you guys suggested me, so yeah... I set it up earlier than when I'm scheduled to start streaming for it to show up properly." He clears his throat as he looks through the chat. "Anyway, I was gonna say we'll have a good ol' fashion QnA while waiting but you guys are just immediately bombarding me with questions..."

The male snickered as he rubbed his painted nails, shaking his head. "Yes, this is live and unedited. I am wearing black nail polish on my nails. I feel like it should no longer be a shock for people to see guys with nail polish but I get it. I don't seem like the type to do it, right?" He chuckled as he takes off his headphones and showing off the piercing in his right ear. "To shock you guys even more, I got myself a piercing too..."

"My girlfriend basically convinced me to do it, so we match kind of. But you know, I actually quite like how it looks on me. And she even did my nails just for fun and I think she did a great job." He said without even thinking, too focused on admiring his nails. Then his eyes widened as he realized what he had done, gulping as he saw the endless spam he was getting in chat. "Fuck, Red warned me that this would be your reaction once you found out..."

He let out nervous laughter and pushes his index fingers together. "Hehe, yeah... There is no way I am gonna be able to edit out what I said earlier. You guys heard me loud and clear there." Kevin let out some more laughter before taking in a deep breath. "So, I guess, I can't hide it anymore. Yes, I do have a girlfriend. We've dating for... like a really long time now, actually. I never really mention her because... Well, she tells me not to. I've actually been wanting to tell you guys about her for a while now because of how much I just adore her but again, she doesn't want me to tell you about her. Why? I don't really remember exactly but it's something like her not wanting to steal attention from me or something like that..."

Kevin rubbed the back of his neck, reading more of his chat. "You said her name was Red... You won't happen to be talking about famous model, Rebecca McArthur, are you?" He gasps in realization. "Hmm, maybe that's what Red means when talking about stealing attention from me..." The male mumbles before clearing his throat. "Umm, yes actually. She refers to be called Red more, so please. Call her that. But yes, I am dating a famous model but you know, I knew her and dated her before she became said famous model. So, I see her more than just a famous model. There is more to her than that..." He smiled, blushing softly as he thought of Red.

The smile he had on his face immediately faded when he saw his chat saying that he was lying and that he's only saying he's dating a famous model for clout. "Hey! I know it sounds really unbelievable for someone like me dating someone like Red but you guys don't have to say such mean things like that! I really am dating Red! If you don't want to believe me, go ahead! You'll eat your words once you-" He gets cut off by Red suddenly coming into his office.

"Hey, Kev! Started your stream yet? Me and Bailey made some cupcakes for you to try before it starts! Well, it's mostly me. Bailey just slept next to me." Red laughs, peeking through the door with a tray in her hands. "And don't worry about this tasting bad! I followed the recipe you put down to a T! And it tastes exactly how you would cook it!"

Kevin chuckles as he turns his chair to face her. "Heh, thanks for the snack, Red... And uh, my stream has already started, actually... And funny thing, I... I, uh.. I may or may not have accidentally let it slip that me and you are dating..." He let out nervous laughter and pushed his index fingers like earlier.

"You did what?!" Red freaked, almost dropping her tray but she quickly put it in a dresser next to the door. "Kev, I told you! We can't tell people that we're dating!"

"I know! I know! You told me countless times that you didn't want me to tell my fans about us..." He sighed as he rolled his gaming chair towards her, grabbing a cupcake from the tray and eating it. "But I couldn't keep it in. It just came naturally to me to boast about you, Red... You're an amazing girl, I am lucky to be dating someone like you. Like this cupcake tastes really good! Way better than how make it even!" He chuckles and smiles at her as he takes another bite of his cupcake. "So, yeah... I'm really sorry that I ended up spilling the beans there..."

The redhead ended up smiling at his words, giving him a small kiss on the cheek. "I forgive you, my space captain. I am so lucky to be dating an amazing guy like you, after all. Someone who loves me for more than just my looks..." She giggles as she gets her own cupcake and tastes it for herself. "Mmm, not bad. So, uh... How did your fans react to you dating a "famous super model"?" She jokingly waves her hand at the last part of her sentence, giggling and letting out a snort afterwards.

"Oh, you know... First, shock for me even dating anyone in the first place..." They both snickered after he spoke. "And then you know, disbelief because it is just so unbelievable for anyone who isn't that famous to be dating a famous person..." He rolled his eyes.

"Why am I not surprised?" Red laughs, playfully rolling her eyes as she walked towards Kevin's monitor. "So, what's happening now? Is your stream still on or what? You know me, I may play video games but that doesn't mean I know anything when it comes to working a computer..." She giggles.

Kevin chuckled as he rolled back to his desk, nodding. "Yeah, I understand completely. And yeah, my stream is still on. You see us in the monitor, right?" He gets a nod in response. "That's what my fans are seeing right now..." The male chuckles when the girl let out an amazed gasp, giving a small wave. "I got so distracted by you showing up that I completely forgot that I left my stream on." He chuckles more before flinching when Red suddenly slammed her hand on his desk.

"Hey, you fuckwads! I don't know what you've been telling my boyfriend when it comes to not believing him about dating me! But I'm here to tell you fuckos that it's true! We are dating and I couldn't be more happier dating a guy like him!" She smirked. "Still not believing my own words? Well, how's this for more proof?" The redhead grabs his right hand and shows off the matching promise rings they had. "Boom! Matching promise rings, baby! Custom made to fit the wearer's personality!"

Kevin got flustered at her actions. "Red, I appreciate your enthusiasm and all but this feels like too much for me-" He gasped when Red suddenly kisses him on the cheek.

"Sorry, my space captain. Now that you told people about us, I want them to really know that we're an item." She winks at him, causing him to blush. "Well, anyways... Now that your fans know about us... Mind if I join in with you in a stream?! Please?! I always wanted to join a stream but you know... Keeping our relationship a secret." She giggles, an excited grin on her face.

The male nodded, chuckling. "Go grab your gaming chair from the closet then..." He points to said closet, letting out a small noise of surprise when the girl hugged him really tightly. "Woah! Red..."

"Thank you, thank you, thank you! I literally love you so much right now!" Red gives him a lot of kisses all over his face before giddily rushing to grab the gaming chair. "What are we going to be playing, by the way?!" She opens the walk in closet and goes searching for the gaming chair.

"Hmm..." Kevin turns to his monitor. "Well, I was gonna be playing a random one player game but I guess we can play some Mario Party, maybe..."

Red gasped in amazement, peeking her head out . "And then we can play as Daisy and Luigi like we always do! Ah, I love it! I am actually really happy that you revealed our relationship online now!" She giggles more before going back inside the closet.

"Okay, I'll set up the Switch for us to play that and then..." Kevin starts setting up his Switch then he pauses when he reads his chat again. "Oh... Oh, wow... As you had been worried about, all my chat is all talking about is you now."

"Oh, really?" Red pulls out a gaming chair from the closet, rolling the chair towards where Kevin's was and sat down it. "What have they been saying? Also, just where are people chatting? Like where are you looking at to read what they say?" She squints her eyes as she looks around her monitor for his chat

Kevin chuckles, pointing to the second monitor where he had his chat in. "There. You can read what chat has to see on that monitor."

"Oh! And that's why we bought two monitors! It makes more sense now!" Red giggles, looking at the other monitor and immediately getting angry. "Excuse me?! What are some of these bitches saying?! "Shame he isn't available anymore, I would have loved to date a hottie like him"?! "Why is he even dating the model with the dumb anger issues? He should just break up with her and date someone like me instead, I'd treat him right"?!" She crossed her arms and started to angrily grumble. "Well, I got bad news for you, girls! He's mine and mine alone! You can't have him!"

"Red, Red... Calm down... Breathe..." The male massages her shoulder gently. "Look, just ignore messages like that. I already have the perfect girl in front of me..." He makes her look at him by grabbing a hold of her chin. "Plus, the last thing I'll do is replace you with some fan..."

"But I'm one of your fans..." She pouted up at him. "One of your biggest fans even..."

"I know, I know... I mean them silly..." He gestures to the camera. "Anyway, ready to play some Mario Party?" He grabs one of the Joycons.

"Oh, hell yeah I am!" Red's mood immediately changed, grabbing the joycon. "Get ready to eat Daisy's dirt, Luigi!" She picks Daisy in the character selection.

"Oh, you'll be eating those words, Daisy! Trust me, it'll be Luigi who wins! He is a fan favorite, after all." Kevin smirks before they both laughed and started to play a round of Mario Kart for Kevin's stream.

#sp red tucker #red sp #red x kevin #red mcarthur #sp kevin #kevin stoley #kevin x red #sp red #red tucker #south park red #sp revin #revin #south park #south park ships #sp ships #oneshot

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shanie-the-toyaddict · 3 years

Note

I would like to hear your Zowens headcanons and I will in turn share a few of mine with you.

WHEEEEEE

Ok, so I posted a list a couple weeks back that contained most of mine but I have added a few more in here in the meantime.

So, combined from that list and the new one, here goes...

Headcanons behind cut.

it’s a fine line between love and hate and they’ve been tap dancing on that line for so long it’s been trampled to oblivion

Kevin likes to think he doesn't need Sami in his life and that he would be just fine without him. He especially likes to forcefully repress all memories of the time between Sami's call-up and his own when he was proven painfully wrong.

Sami is loyal to a bloody fault and it’s why he keeps coming back for more.

Kevin is a huge grump. He has always been a grump and he will always be a grump even when he's trying to be nice. The only time he isn’t a grump is when Sami manages to chip away at his shell long enough to let Kev’s heart pour out and, when it does, it only pours out onto Sami.

The exception to this rule is when his heart is pouring out about Sami which is what led to heartfelt promos about missing his best friend and regretting his life choices.

As mithen put it, “Unbridled Obsession”. Fight Forever is in reference to exclusively THEM. Nobody else has or will ever matter.

The sheer magnitude of cosmic OOMPH surrounding them… I once described them as “A yin and yang yo-yo, spinning around each other endlessly while oscillating back and forth between friend and foe and being controlled by the red string of fate.”

Kevin struggles endlessly with his feelings about Sami. His brain and his heart can never seem to agree on where they stand but, in the end, his heart always wins be it for better or worse.

Meanwhile, Sami figured this shit out ages ago and lives in eternal wait for his better half to get it together. This is, again, why he always comes back.

The reason Sami has it figured out was because, despite his better judgement, he fell in love with Kevin almost immediately and decided he would wait as long as it took for Kevin to come around. He's still waiting and, even with his recent turn for the crazy, there's a part of him that he's tried so damn hard to destroy (and failed) that's still waiting.

However, despite figuring out his own feelings and wanting Kevin to reciprocate, Sami is damn near clueless when it comes to receiving the signals from Kevin about it. When the day comes that Sami figures out that Kevin does indeed love him back it will have involved a bullhorn, three billboards, half a dozen hallmark cards, a shouting match, bite marks, a punch in the face, copious amounts of aggressive kissing, and possibly a marriage proposal.

If cheap motel rooms had mouths, our guys would have filed a TON of NDAs by this point. What happens on the road, stays on the road.

That said, if said walls did have mouths and word got out, both Sami and Kevin would claim it meant nothing and was just a product of too much free testosterone and adrenaline in a small space (with only one bed).

They would both be lying.

You always hurt the one you love. [gestures at that recent backstage photograph of Sami’s back]

“I Love You” has no meaning at this point. They’ve said it so many times it’s just part of the script. “J'taime” on the other hand...

The aggressive cheek kissing was a compromise with Vince that replaced Kevin's desired lip locking. Little does Vince know that lip locking is second on their list of "romantic gestures" and that touching foreheads is infinitely more intimate to them.

On a related note, It’s not biting it’s a possessive kiss with teeth and it's number three on the list.

Kevin, for all his grumpiness, looks like an angel while he sleeps.

Sami, meanwhile, looks like an idiot and Kevin finds it both endearing and hilarious and has a ton of photos on his phone which he’s assured Sami he’s deleted (but hasn’t).

The shared selfies we've seen of Happy!Keven and Confused!Sami are just a small sample of the ones he's taken. It's one of Kevin's favorite pastimes to snap photos of Sami off guard and it pisses Sami off to no end. (Kevin doesn't care, he still has them all saved multiple places on his phone and cloud storage, to prevent Sami from breaking into his phone and deleting them.)

Speaking of breaking into phones, they've both given up on device security between the two of them. It doesn't matter what they change their passwords or swipe-locks to, they know each other too damn well for it to work. They've just come to an agreement to respect each others stuff as much as possible.

"As much as possible" does not include refraining from going on each other's social media accounts and going on blocking sprees.

Kevin did indeed stun L*gan P*ul because he hurt Sami and would do so again a million times if he had the chance. Nobody does that to Sami Zayn.

Nobody except Kevin Owens, of course.

Both men have foul mouths but for Kevin, it’s just words. He weaves cuss words in and out of his sentences like friggin punctuation marks. The only time they mean anything is when he gets into the sacre.

Sami, meanwhile, tends to go more for exclamations. He doesn’t pepper his speech with swearwords but, when he’s excited, he’ll go for the biguns in a heartbeat (see his MFER cry over his IC Title Win)

Sami has a penchant for petnames and nicknames. He's been known to full-name Kevin when he's pissed and when he is most angry, he doesn't bother using a name at all. Meanwhile, When Kevin is feeling kind towards Sami, he has a similar thing going on but it usually just involves spewing insults (that may or may not be meant affectionately).

Re: Above - “Idiot (affectionate)”, “Shithead (romantic)”, “Dumbass (soulmate)” and so on.

Kevin Owens has learned to appreciate a good Gyro for the sole purpose that it’s about the only thing he can stand on the menu of the Greek Cafés Sami always used to drag him too.

Kevin is a burger addict. One of the easiest ways to gain his affection is gifting him with a perfectly cooked bacon cheesburger.

One time, one dark, DARK day, he let Sami get the food from the burger joint. He was horrified to discover (immediately, upon the first bite) that Sami had gotten him an impossible burger to try and convince him they tasted the same. Kevin was not happy at ALL and Sami was forced to clean up the mess in the car while Kevin went and got a real cheesburger.

One of the biggest reasons they have remained close for so long is that, long ago, they both decided that the car radio remains OFF. Anything else leads to screaming matches and possibly auto accidents.

If those ridiculous Hallmark movies my mom watches are correct and there is such a thing as a Godwink, then the Montreal Screwjob was God winking so damn hard he nearly blinded himself in one eye.

Kevin secretly loves both Sami’s long hair and his dancing but the world will end before he ever admits either.

Similarly, Sami finds it adorable how Kevin's beard is starting to turn grey but knows better than to say word one about it.

Both men are bi but Kevin is way, WAY more bi than Sami. Like, Sami is straight with a side of Kevinsexual. Kevin is much more… open in his attractions; his heart belongs to Sami but he has never been afraid to mess around with other men as well.

Due to Sami's otherwise straight nature, he's managed to do a really good job lately of convincing himself that he never cared about Kevin in the first place and that his hatred is well placed... you know, like a liar.

Kevin Owens Steen is too violent for his own good. Violence is his primary means of communication and it's how he expresses himself in all things. This is a big reason that he is so hurtful towards Sami, even when he is trying to help him. He doesn't know anything else. There is a reason so many of his kisses come with teeth (as mentioned above).

This is also why... um... er... in the times where they did hook up, Kevin was the one in control. He would never willingly let Sami pin him in the ring why the hell would he let Sami pin him... uh... elsewhere.

That said, if there were anyone who Kevin would be open to a change in position with, it would be Sami. As long as Sami knows full well who's driving the car, Kevin's up for relinquishing control of the radio for a night.

Overall, Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn are both the best and worst things to happen to each other. The best because, for better or for worse, they drive each other to put their all in everything. They bring out the star in each other time and time again and neither one of them would have ever made it to the stage without the other.

They are the worst thing to happen to each other because... well, have you MET them? Enough said.

Sorry this list is so long. I have a ton of thoughts about these two and if I don't wrap this up now, the list will only get longer.

#Zowens #Headcanons

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benjisnothere · 4 years

Text

Moths and Spiders | Call Me Kevin

rating || pg paring || call me kevin/Male!reader warnings || none

---

Kevin huffed a bit trying to shoo a moth out his window with a towel, attempting not to fall off his office chair. The damn thing had gotten in when he left his windows open for some fresh air and wouldn't leave him alone while recording, normally he just left them be, they would find there own way out, but the little guy kept bumping into his lights, and monitor.

"Come on buddy I'm trying to help you here" he spoke to the moth which at this point seemed to be fighting against leaving his house "you don't pay rent sir, you have leave!" he was begging at this point.

"What are you doing?"

The voice behind him scared him making him lose his balance and fall of the chair, he smacked his head on his office desk on the way down, groaning as he placed his hand over where he was hit. Kevin looked up to see a blurry y/n, his roommate and friend.

"Shit, sorry dude, are you okay?" the boy was kneeling by him.

"Yeah, just a little bump... fuck it hurt though" he rubbed the back of his head sitting up.

Kevin glanced to see the moth had landed on his microphone and he sighed in defeated. Y/n glanced over at the moth and carefully scooped the little guy up with his hands, he was so calm while doing it, Kevin would be too squeamish to do something like that, feeling the things wings and feet on you... yuck.

"Come on little guy, enough bothering Kevin for one day" y/n spoke to the moth before leaving the room.

Kevin rubbed the back of his head once more as he stood up, he didn't feel dizzy or anything and his sight clear up, so he was sure that he was fine. He sat down in his chair as y/n came back, moth free.

"You okay?" y/n moved closer brushing his hand over where Kevin made contact with his desk, the contact sent a shiver down his back, along with making his wince.

"Yeah I'm good" Kevin said moving away from the touch.

Y/n looked like he was doubtful of that, but nodded slowly, and put his hand in his pockets "what were you doing on the chair anyway, you're six foot" he said.

"I couldn't get my arms high enough, so I improvised" Kevin said his cheeks now dusted a lovely rose color.

Y/n chuckled and nodded "I'll let you film in peace" he smile before leaving the room, closing the door behind him. Kevin had to take a moment for his face to go back to normal before starting up the recording.

·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï·

Kevin wrapped a towel around his waist, he looked in the mirror only to let out a yell when he saw a big spider behind him in the reflection, he scrambled getting on top off the counter and staring at it. From the looks of it, the spider was a daddy long leg, slowly moving along the wall. too big... too creepy... too crawly... fuck that. He found himself hoping that his roommate heard him and would come to his rescue. Moths weren't so bad, spiders on the other hand were a big NOPE from him. They had to many legs... NOTHING needs that many legs.

"Kevin are you okay?" his roommates voice came from outside the door.

"Get in here!" Kevin called curling as close to the opposite wall as he could.

The door opened and y/n looked at him with a raised brow, before noticing the spider on the wall. He laughed a bit.

"You're such a baby" he said walking over to the spider "you're a big boy, aren't ya?" y/n ushered the spider into his hands before looking at Kevin once more.

Kevin seemed to just now remember he was naked, he made sure he towel stayed closed as he sat on the counter once again today feeling his face go red. Y/n rolled his eyes at him and walked out of the bathroom, leaving Kevin to be able to get some cloth on. A shiver ran up his spine, he felt like the spider was still in the room.

The male walked into the kitchen where y/n was sitting on the counter, his legs crossed as he looked at a recipe book they had. Kevin walked closer making his roommate look up at him, he froze for a second, having those eyes on him. Sometimes having a roommate was bother some, but honestly y/n always kept to himself, unless Kevin needed him for bug evacuation. They became friends eventually but it took awhile to break through to the boy. Kevin was forever grateful to have him around, not just for bugs, but for everything, he helped with filming, and editing sometimes, he didn't seemed to mind doing most of the house work -- not that Kevin expected it, but he got busy sometimes and it seemed like y/n was more then willing to take on the stuff he should be doing -- over all he had made the best choice going with y/n when he decided on getting a roommate.

"The spiders outside, probably got in by accident" he said.

"We'll yeah..." Kevin nodded, he leaned against the stove, looking up at y/n "what you thinking about?"

"Maybe grilled chicken..." he mumbled while looked at the book

Kevin stared at him, it had gotten harder through out there month together to pretend he attracted to his roommate. Y/n made it hard, he got into the habit of touching Kevin, nothing extreme, usually just maneuvering the clumsy tree out of the way, touching the small of his back to have Kevin know he was there. He had also started bringing Kevin something to drink, and some food if he had been streaming to long with people.

"We could order in... I don't wanna make you cook" Kevin said.

"I don't mind... I like taking care of you" it was so matter of fact... almost said as if Kevin should know that already.

Kevin opened his mouth to say something but the thoughts seem to have left his head, he nodded and left the kitchen, sitting on the couch and turning on the tv to watch something while he waited for y/n to get done... best not disturb him while cooking, never turns out well.

·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï·

Watching movies was probably Y/n and Kevin's biggest past time, some 'so bad there good movies' other's just plain good movies... or plain bad ones. That night was some documentary y/n had been waiting to come on, Kevin didn't like documentaries, or at least these types, it was some sort of serial killer, it just ended up making him feel creepy... he didn't know how y/n could watch them.

Kevin didn't remember closing his eyes and falling asleep, but when he opened them he was in y/n arms, being carried bridal style down to his bedroom. He felt himself turn red, except this time he was pretty sure his whole body turned red, he felt warm... but maybe that was just their body heat being mixed together. He couldn't help but curl closer to him.

"Hey sleepy head" y/n smiled softly down at her.

Kevin groaned a bit, he was still sleepy. He felt himself leave y/n arms and grabbed the boys hand to stop him from leaving him, part of him didn't want to be left alone, the thought of someone possibly killing him was still fresh in his head, he was surprised that he passed out in the first place.

"Stay" he mumbled.

"Why?" y/n furrowed his eyebrows.

"You made me watch... murder" he mumbled fighting sleep off.

Y/n chuckled "murders dead"

"Get in bed you have to protect me" Kevin pulled the covers on top of him self.

Y/n sighed and crawled into bed with him, Kevin cuddled into him, laying his head on the boys chest. Y/n froze a bit before wrapping his arms around Kevin and trying to get comfortable, the male in his arms clocking out almost right away. Eventually y/n was able to find sleep.

·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï· ·ï¡÷¡ï··ï¡÷¡ï·

Kevin woke warmer then he usually was, he opened his eyes to see he was laying on someone... oh... he lifted his head a little to see y/n sleeping with him. He he had been 99% sure that was all a dream. He yawned a bit, slipping out of the boys arms, only to have him stir, Kevin froze looking down at the peaceful boy as he opened his eyes.

"Mmm- Morning" y/n mumbled.

"I... Uh... Morning..." Kevin fought out, if he wasn't embarrassed before, he was now "sorry... uh you know" he said sheepishly.

Y/n sat up, now their faces were inches away, too close "its fine"

Kevin was frozen, he didn't know what to say, or do, he was just sat up on his bed with a man he had been ridiculously attracted to for way to long and he didn't see a natural way out of this situation.

"Kev?"

He didn't know what to say, he leaned in a bit closer and y/n moved away for a moment before moving back. Shit was he actually gonna do this? he leaned in a bit closer. He didn't know if he could move any closer, he felt like if he closed the little distance between then it would end horribly. However he didn't have to close the distance, because y/n put his hand behind his head pulling him the rest of the way, pressing there lips together.

It was easier then Kevin thought it would be... kissing y/n whenever he imagined it he always imagined he'd fuck it up some how but he didn't, maybe it was because he allowed y/n to lead. Y/n pulled away looking at him.

"Pancakes?" he asked.

"I... what?" Kevin asked flustered.

"Do you want pancakes?"

Kevin stared at him for a moment before nodded, y/n nodded back before getting out of bed. The male watched after him and for a second Kevin was sure maybe he hallucinated the whole thing, couldn't of, he still felt the tingles where y/n touched. He got up and grabbed some new cloths to change into, as he put on his shirt it hit him... maybe y/n wasn't worried about the kiss because they practically acted like they were married anyway... maybe they were kinda dating all along.

He walked out to the kitchen "move your stuff into my room" it wasn't really a question.

Y/n looked at him "why?"

"Because it's long over due... like everything"

Y/n stared at him, a small smile spread across in face, he nodded and Kevin nodded back, he turned to go to the living room like he always did when y/n was cooking.

"Babe?"

Kevin turned to look at y/n, a simple pet name he had been called by many people and yet he made it sound the sweetest.

"Blue berry's or chocolate chips?"

"... Chocolate chips"

#call me kevin fanfiction #call me kevin x male!reader #male!reader #call me kevin imagine #kota imagines #x reader #call me kevin x reader #Kevin O'reilly x male!reader #call me kevin/male!reader #call me kevin/reader #Kevin O'Reilly x reader #Kevin O'Reilly imagines

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popculturebuffet · 3 years

Text

Amphiba: True Colors Review or FINALLY THE FINALE

We’re finally here all you happy people! Ten Months, 36 episodes, 20 half hours, a lot of gay subtext, a lot of bloodshed, and a lot of build up have lead us all here! One absolutely STUFFED finale: A trust is betrayed, a rebllion is had, a conquerer rises and NOTHING will ever be the same.. and yes htat’s thrown around a lot but this is one of those times where NOTHING WILL BE THE SAME. This is that kind of finale folks.

But before I can get into all the juicy stuff you’ve been waiting for there’s a few things to discuss.. and the first is obviously the fact we had to wait three goddamn extra weeks to get here after spending all season leading up to this.

You all know the story by now. Hell I even angirly ranted about it when it happened and rightfully so. But frankly the colossal delay is going to be such an integral and permeant part of this episode and this show’s history that not talking about it in this review would do it a diservice: So to recap: The finale was posted to air May 1st, a weak after “The Dinner/Battle of the Bands”. I had it set in my schedule, it showed up in that month’s press release of Disney Channel Episodes, We were all ready to go with all the tight and intense build up leading up to this.

Then the worst happened and Disney aburbtly, and with a funny face image trying to play it off as a joke annoucned via it’s animation twitter the episode would be delayed. Now in fairness to the twitter person there, they were PROBABLY trying to help massage a blow... but seriously dude, read the room next time. Thankfully creator Matt Braly stepped in and explained it was technical delays. After what happened the next day I ASSUMED he was just trying to cover for them as it would turn out the episode was finished.. turns out, and I had to edit the review to reflect this the truth was somewhere in the middle. Edits were more discussed, likely due to the episodes very violent nature, and the episode was given a content warning. Given what happens.. I can’t blame Disney for wanting one or for thinking of editing it.. but canblamehtem for the “Things that could’ve been brought to my attention YESTERDAY’ nature of the edist and the insuing delay.

I can also blame them for leaking the episode on ITUNES. Yeah if they were REALLY concenred abotu content then they would’ve held off longer and not brought this up five minutes before it aired, delaying the episode for many. Hell I DEFENEDED them in the original version of this, but they had MONTHS of this episode being in production to fucking say something. WHy do this five mintues before it’s finished?

It just smacks of laziness and overly panicy stuff. A content warning would’ve been FINE. You ahve it for racisim on Disney Plus, just put one here and call it a day. You haven’t objected to the horrifying content in the series up to this point why start NOW. And they STILL never apologized. For any of this. For the leak, for the delay, never properly explaining the delay (Matt didn’t either.. but given how twitchy comapnies can be about what their creators say, I can’t blame him for not wanting to clarify it was a post credit’s thing till closer to airtime), just in general not giving a shit abotu the kids or adults watching this. Just because kids watch thiis dosen’t me older kids don’t have social media, and it dosen’t mean teens don’t. If you want to pretend us adults watching this don’t exist.. fine. It sucks but I can’t do anything. But do not do this shit to kids and then not go to them. And again Matt could’ve.. but it’s not his fucking job. His job is to make a show, help make sure it gets to air and be a sweeheart. YOURS is to make sure things run smoothly and when their is a hickup,get your house in order.

Matt shoudln’t of HAD to beg people not to watch it. Various va’s for the show shoudln’t of HAD to record funny messages.. it was appricated but it’s not thier job to prevent this from spreading. It’s yours. It’s yours to open your damn eyes and see adults and older teens watch this stuff too and to head that shit off. This incident is going to stick in my craw for god knows how long and ALMOST convinced me not to cover Owl House weekly (I still woud’ve likely done a review on each half of the season). I ended up renegeing on that and will be starting regular coverage of that in June and continuing coverage of this show whenever it returns.. but it was close.

And it’s ultimately YOU GUYS that kept me hanging in there. It was thanks to a Disney show this blog exists in the first place, and contiunes to get the bulk of it’s viewers. It’s how I got my patreon, biggest fan and bfinacial backer Kev. I’ts why I can do what I love, talking about and analyzing stuff I enjoy and ocasionally loathe. You guys came back week after week for my ducktales reviews and stayed for Amphibia. I”m sure i’ll get even more for Owl House. It’s thanks to all of you I can keep going despite the hardships, the lack of patreons, the long nights, the weird sleep schedules. I wouldn’t of made it through 20 weeks of awesome tv without you. So for you, and for myself, i’ll hang in there but I expect better Disney. And i’m damn well gonna get it. So join me under the cut as the world turns upside down.. and there are a LOT of spoilers. Seriously if you want to wait for the tv airing do not go under the cut

So we open with a flashback to 8 months ago, the day all this began: Marcy was working in the library on her cram classes, getting texts from both Sasha, who was excited about Anne’s birthday, and her own father who wants her to come home right away as there’s something important they need to discuss.

But before she can a book about the strange and what not naturally slips out and Mar-Mar can’t help but thumb through it.. and as you were no doubt dreading.. finds the box which is said in a large tv friendly caption to lead to other worlds.

Naturally Marcie is intrigued and snaps a pick and heads home... and we cut to the END of that conversation as she tearfully runs out of the house , refusing to accept what they’ve told her and her dad coming off hella unsympathetic with his overly harsh tone, especially since we DO find out what he told her... and it’s a lot to put on her and a lot to just say “accept because I helped make you for all of two unsatisfying minutes. “

So while running away she passes the box.. and sets the events from both the show’s opening and the flashback from the last finale in motion. Marcy sent them here on purpose.

Yeah needless to say I DIDN’T see this coming. And it seems obvious in hindsight: Marcy being the one most desperate to keep thier friendship together, as we’ll see at it’s worst through this episode, her barely mentioning going home, and most tellingly the only things she talks about from earth were Anne, Sasha and her dorky intrests. All the things closest to the heart and that she’s most likely to make out with.. but while Anne brings up earth stuff every so often even after getting more screen time in Season 2b... Marcy NEVER talks about that kind of stuff. She has her girlfriends and a real life fantasy novel right here... but she DOSEN’T miss her parents or earth itself. And given her life was already shown to be as an outcast with only two people carring about her, three with her mom now we know, who never REALLY fit in and whose on friends very clearly didn’t share her intrests.. it probably made it all the more tempting: a real adventure, an escape from her problems, and a way to start over: become who she always PLAYED and not who she was. Everything just.. snaps into place with this revelation and makes Marcy an all the more heartbreaking character... even more so soon enough when we find out what her overall plan was.

But that’s half an episode away: for now our party returns on Joe to Newtopia.. though clumsly. Marcy admits that they probably can’t fit more people on him. But with this our heroes are ready to finish this story and with a plan since obviously they can’t just walk into town with two wanted crminals: Marcy will present the box and THEN sasha and grime, who will cloak themselves to avoid attracting attentions, with literal cloaks Marcy hasn’t made a cloaking device yet, so hopefully they’ll get a pardon.

Inside Sprig and Anne talk, with Sprig admitnig he’s sad this is the last adventure.. but Anne has hope. After all they have a way home now and that portal goes both ways. She can hop back any time and vice versa. This sin’t goodbye.. it’s just goodbye for now. And i’ts something I genuinely didn’t think of.. and not just because Andrias’ shady actions and Sasha and Grime’s machinations meant this was NEVER going to end well.

Speaking of Sasha and Grime’s machinations those come to a head: As our heroes enter the castle, greeted by Lady Olivia, and we get our typical end of the RPG speech from the “Good” king.... Sasha swipes the box and Grime uses the hammer to knock everyone off ballance. The coup the two have been cooking up has come to pass.

Anne and Marcy’s reactions.. are telling: Anne is utterly pissed at the betryal and done with Sasha and Marcy is begging both sides to stop as this was not how it was supposed to end. Sasha tries to use a box as a baranging chip, and plans to destroy it if Andrias dosen’t surrender despite destroying her way home. Given it’s implied her home life isn’t great either and she gets to rule an empire instead of a school, it’s easy to see why.

Grime stops him from calling her bluff though by wacking him in the shins and then hodling him at hammer point to get the military of Newtopia to stand down while his covert Toad agents reveal themselves and runamuck. Grime has won.

Anne meanwhile is livid, with Sasha not quite getting why MAYBE Anne would once again feel betrayed that once again Sasha is trying to do everything her way and once again lied to her and harmed innocent people. Anne breaks off their friendship which deeply uspets Marcy.. who weirldy. ISN’T trying to talk Sasha out of this. After all she gets what she wanted anyway. She IS upset when Sasha tries to send them home for defiance.. but the box dosen’t work for her and she simply has the guards escort our heroes and Olivia out till she can figure this out.

Naturally though Anne, being pissed, heartbroken and pissed, and yes that was indeed intentional, HEADBUTTS the nearest guard and breaks them out, with the planatrs starting to fight back. Their still outnumbered.. but help arrives

Or rather the Amphibia equilvent as both wolverines are busy with prep for the Hellfire Gala. Yes it’s General Yunan, who Lady Olivia cuts off probably not for the first time. Your lucky that’s one of her turn on’s lady.

So our heroes sneak out and head to Sals, while the Toads wreck up the town. Marcy... is of course desperate to fix things, but figures it’s easy. All they have to do is free the king, stop the rest of the army from arriving, their an hour away, and cementing grime’s foothold, get her girlfriends to reconcile and fix the inherent power imbalance so a rebellion doesn’t’ happen again.

But Anne rouses them: They may be a goofus, a quick witted kid, an out of touch old man, a literal baby, am etaphorical baby, and a nerd.. but their a BADASS Goofus, kid, old man, babies and nerd... and two other ladies the toads actually know and respect. They’ve fought worse: Canibals, princess bride references, theater bandits, chicken elder gods, Poly’s addiction to angry mobs and paste pot pete and come back stronger each time. They can do this. They might only be 8 strangers, but together they can fuck up this shit. or to have a previously mentioned buddy of mine sum it up

So with that it’s time to split up gang: Marcy, Hop Pop and Olivia will go free the king using Hop Pop’s acting skills...which actually works despite Olvia’s doubts. Polly, Yunan and Frobo will put the hammer down and give them hell, taking out the toads in the city and drawing all of them away from the gate where Spriganne will trigger it thus saving the day.

Meanwhile Sasha is feeling discontent. She got everything she wanted.. but she didn’t think about what to DO with all that power. At home she could do all sorts of things ruling a school but now she’s lost one of the loves of her life. Without Anne and Marcy i’ts just empty. Even Grime’s utterly heartfelt gift of an emerald sword, he knew she always wanted to duel wield that has a heron on it, a sign of how they met and a truly sweet gesture can’t cheer her up. So Grime suggests redecorating and the first thing to go is a sappy mural of Andrias and his subjects. What they find UNDER it though is horrifying.. and i’ts surprisingly not a bunch of spiders like you’d expect.. but a mural of Andrius as some sort of horrible king with an army of robot frogs like Frobo, with a LOT of frog, toad and newt skeletons piled up. Sasha and Grime are glad they dodged that bullet.. only to find Anne scaling the tower with Sprig, the two naturally going to stop them.

The two try and turn the wheel, but can’t as there’s a doorstop... one they DEFINTELY saw earlier when looking out the window of Sal’s.

Regardless they send Polly for that.. and the rematch begins. Sasha TRIES talking to Anne.. but given she stabbed her in the back AGAIN for incredbly petty reasons, that’s not going to work and the two get one hell of a fight. Beautifully animated and rife with emotion as the two clash with Sasha DESPERATLY trying to get Anne to stop for a second and listen and Anne rightly refusing, while we watching know our hero winning will spell DOOM for this world despite her trying to do the right thing. Anna and Brenda’s acting here is just TOP notch. In any other episode this would be the best part of it.. but we’re only getting warmed up.

While they fight, we get a surprising and awesome bout I did not see coming: Sprig Vs Grime. And it gives me Spider-Man vs Kingpin vibes really: A rotund but still far more powerful opponent versus a smaller but quicker one. And that’s how even more shockingly, Sprig comes out the WINNER. While Grime has the hammer and more strength and skill... Sprig has speed and thus gets Grime to whack himself with it. Granted he can’t use the thing and comically spins around afterword.. but it proves Grime’s racist thoughts about frogs wrong and leaves Anne free to turn the wheel once she beats Sasha. The invasion is thwarted.

But naturally given the ooky spooky mural and the other hints of ominous shit like the watcher with a thousand eyes, this isn’t the end. Back at the throne room, with Sasha and Grime as prisoners Anne gives Andrias the box despite sasha begging her not to. But rather than send her home right away.. he has a history lesson for her first. And nothing good ever starts with someone delaying helping you to give a sinister history lesson let me tell you.

We find out the while truth: Amphibia was once a technological empire powered by the box, and prosperity SEEMINGLY reigned, and Andrias, much like our heroines, had two close friends, a toad and a frog. But one day they betrayed him, abandoning him and seemingly stealing the box , leaving his mechanical marvels powerless and Andrias bitter and angry. Hence the whole revenge ploy.

In an unsurprising and invincible-esque twist, he reveals his ancestors were not explorers but CONQUERERS and he intends to finish their work, placing the box on a pedestal that turns his castle into a flying fortress glowing blue. It only gets worse from there: the castle’s awakening also activates factories around Amphibia similar to the one we saw back in “Fort in the Road” that gave us Frobo and it turns out their dark purpose.. is to create armies of unstoppable soldiers to secure his dominon.... and spread it to the other worlds. The reason he didn’t send the girls home is he figures correctly Anne and the others will try and stop him from TAKING it.

So yeah Anne’s reaction is very naturally...

And despite being outgunned, outmanned, outnumbered and outplanned she plans to make an all out stand. She realizes that her own fight with Sasha only allowed something FAR WORSE to take hold. She’s not WRONG for fighting her, Sasha was being a shithead taking over and did so for flimsy and selfish reasons and she had no reason to listen to her.. but had she at least thought over giving him the box and not simply given it to him to spite her none of this would be happening. So she and the plantars get ready for round 2, with Sasha having her back this time, and Grime having Sasha’s. It’s a really sweet moment, showing Sasha has realized just how much her own greedy and controlling ambitions have cost her and that she’s brought about something far worse thorugh them, and is ready to make amends and Grime as always ready to stand by the only true family he has.

But before the carnage can begin.. Marcy stops them... and then tearfully turns to Andrias “This wasn’t our deal!”. Andrias, now not having to play nice, dosen’t care and cruelly points out of course he did: He would’ve said whatever it took to get her to fill the box and she did it. He also hints at Marcy’s dark secret, with both girls wondering what the hell he’s on about.. but clearly starting to piece it together, with Andrias cruelly toying with Marcy to tell them before he does.. and barely gives her any time before going ahead with it anyway, knowing she’d be unable to. And with this we get the best line of the episode and Keith david’s best delivery.. and given he makes a fucking seven course meal of the entire second act, yeah that’s a high bar.

"Did it ever occur to you — Anne, Sasha — that one of you knew more than she was letting on? That one of you might've gotten you stranded in Amphibia... on purpose?"

The line itself hits like a sledgehammer. We knew for the full episode she did this on purpose.. but we also knew at some point it was clearly going to come out and hurt them both.. and to see someone Marcy clearly saw as a better replacement dad, someone she thought cared about her and was offering her her dreams for no gain on his end cruelly tell them clearly for his own amusment as he dosen’t remotely see them as a threat.. it’s utterly chilling as it is heartbreakiing and horrifying.

Naturally Anne and Sasha are upset, Sasha a bit baffled and Anne just utterly broken by this: She’d already been betrayed TWICE by the other love of her life.. now MARCY had betrayed her.. and WORSE?

And it only gets worse as Marcy heartbreakingly reveals her motivation and what this was really all about: Her dad announced he got a new job and they were moving a state away.. and like I said he’s a prick. Not for moving, that happens and it sucks but for having no freaking empathy about it. Maybe if he took a parenting class earth wouldn’t be on the cusp of a robot invasion. Marcy was about to loose her girls and was desperate.... so naturally Andrias claimed to simply want to take them all with him on his journeys, obviously leading out the conquest and likely genocide part, so they could go on and on FOREVER. And this whole thing gave Anne the plantars so it’s not all bad right? Right? But it’s clear she’s trying to desperatly lie to herself this was all okay as she’s been doing ever since she started this all 8 months ago and Anne pointing out she misses her family, something Marcy never considered given her own reasons for leaving and how Sasha likely dosen’t have a happy family life herself.

This.. this is Haley Tju’s finest hour. She’s done good voice work before, especially in this series but here, with Marcy’s anguish, desperation and guilt all leaking out as she tries to get her girlfriend not to turn away from her. it’s all just amazing heartbreaking stuff and I salute her and the animation does her fine acting a service and shows every bit of pain in the poor girls face.

Anne naturally does turn away a bit and Marcy cries.. but Anne quickly recovers... while she obviously isn’t entirely ready to forgive Marcy JUST yet, it’s clear she wasn’t thinking straight and did all of this out of desperation... and that the hulking dickbag who betrayed them all and is gloating about all of this manipulated her, preying on her desperation and anguish to finish his plan. Marcy fucked up big time, no question.. but ANDRIAS is the true monster here, and if he’s not stopped this world she’s grown to love and the one she left behind will BURN. Anne may be many things: impulsive, kinda weird, easy to anger.. but she is over all that a HERO. And there’s a villian to stop

Andrias, while not seeing them as remotely a threat, does admit this will probably be fun and the fight begins, with our heroes, including Marcy, easily besting the Obsdian Swarm.. as i’m calling them now. It’s a cools equence.. but ultimately futile. Andrias is FAR more powerful than he’s let on with the box. And shows it off by destroying toad tower before coming at them with a fire sowrd, easily swatting them aside like flies. They try their best to fight back but it’s not much use, and Andrias NEARLY crushes polly to death under his fist. Yes a fucking child. What a dick.

Frobo saves him... and sadly this is the end for our new friend as Andrias is mildly amused that one of his creations glitched.. then smashes him into robotic paste. Polly rightfully calls him a monster and his response is as chilling as it is wonderfully dickish: “Don’t worry, your next”.

Thankfully though she got out of the way.. because she has LEGS now. It’s also why I keep saying 8 months, though it’s likely more like 9 given it took a month to get to newtopia:

The prophecy has come true! And while she stumbles for a second Polly quickly proves she can really move, she has an attitude and she’s the fastest thing alive by grabbing the box seemingly winning.. except Andrias has sprig in his fist and is going to crush or drop him ulness she stops. And despite Sprig BEGGING his sister to let him go for the sake of everyone else, like any good hero she naturally puts the box back.

Anne begs for him to let Sprig go since he got what he wanted and he’s her best friend in this or any world... but all this does is insprie Andrias to DROP HIM OUT A WINDOW, bitter over his own past and eager to torture her some more. This really shows off who Andrias REALLY is now the mask is off; a sadistic tyrannical bully who relishes in making his victims really squirm, revels in malevolence and is just so damn gleeful about it: Not to say BIll Cipher levels more of a cold, cruel enjoyment of things.

As I said earlier Keith David makes a motherfucking Seven Course Meal out of the second half of this episode, utterly stealing the show now he can play Andrias as he truly is: not skulng in the shadows with ominus hints he’s evil or pretending to be nice, but instead as a sadistic brute who delights in suffering and wants nothing less than everything under his boothill. in short he’s an AWESOME antagonist and while Keith David has played TREMENDOUS villains before, this one will easily be his best if the writing holds. Andrias is Keith David at his fucking best and proves the Disney legend has EVEYRTHING left in the tank even as he approaches 70′s. Jesus I fucking love this man.

So this causes anne to retreat into herself, leaving us in a black void as Anne remembers all the good times.. and goes MOTHERFUCKING SUPER SAYIAN. Well more accurately super sayian god super sayian, or blueper sayian if you will, but still i’ts a n utterly striking sequence and a clear direct shout out with Anne getting her powers the same way Goku did: loosing someone to an utterly cruel bastard. Same with Gohan’s upgrade to super sayian 2. It’s just a truly striking sequence as she powers up in a FULL rage, DEMANDNIG he give him back.

Andrais is stunned, clearly knowing this was something she was capable of but thought she could no longer do as the box shoudlv’e drained her of the ablility, while Hop Pop and Grime wonder if this is a human thing.

So Anne WAILS on the fucker, easily besting a shocked andrias despite his best attempts.. but she tires out and he swats her aside, gleefully noting she dosen’t know how to control it. Sprig turns out to be okay though. Marcy went and saved him while Anne was rippig Andrias asunder.. and then activates the box. Sasha and Grime hold him off while Anne makes a run for it with the plantars while Andrias gives out your standard villian big no. Anne and Fam make it... but Marcy is taking a sec.. and that second gets her GUTTED. Not an exageration or me being a smart ass like usual.. Andrias RAN HER THROUGH WITH HIS SWORD.

His only response is “Look what you made me too and Anne and crew are warped away, unable to save her.

So we end with our heroes landing somewhere and Sprig wondering where they are... where they are is on the top of a car on a busy Los Angeles Freeway... and in front of two very weirded out humans. Anne is home.

So now for the part that wasn’t in the original release apparently: The teaser.. aka THE MOTHERFUCKING SEASON 3 OPENING.

youtube

Hell. Yes. Just a few quick personal notes before we hit the wrap up: I love how the season will be on earth, a nice change of pace, how the Boonchuy’s have very clearly warmly welcomed the plantars, the expanded cast at the title card, and how Disney just let them go ALL out for this one. They’ve clearly stopped being cheap assholes when it comes to letting intro’s change or at the very least got this was the very end of the series and thus important enough to gussie up. But yes the end is nigh.. and probably not till late this year if this year AT ALL And I will return for it. Well return to doing this show anyway, i’m not going anywhere. They’ll have to pry this blog from my cold dead hands.

Final Thoughts:

This episode is the series best so far. My only honest complaint is the Toad Invasion comes and goes really quickly and I question why it was crammed into half the episode. Don’t get me wrong, Andrias’ rise needed the full 10 minutes, but I question why we dind’t get an episode before this settingit up and THEN have it happen over half an episode, epsecially since we spent an entire episode on getting the other toad barons involved only for ONE of them to show up for all of five minutes.

Otherwise though? Yeah no notes. The cast is at the top of their damn game, with Brenda Song, Hailey Tju and Keith Motherfucking David as the standouts, the animatoin is likewise, and it pays off a thing or two you wouldn’t expect like the acting episode. This is a truly outstanding finale, one that has now joined other all time faviorite season finales such as “You’re In Control”, “Reunited”, “The Crossroads of Destiny”, and “Moonvasion”. I will be watching this again when it comes to Disney Plus. Masterful stuff.

As for the season as a whole.. this was a great season. While it did start a bit rocky with the road trip arc, which I’m still not a huge fan of as I feel it mostly wasted an awesome idea of them going on a world spanning roadtrip with some fairly weak episodes, with the exception of standouts “Truckstop Polly” and “Wax Museum”.

But once we got to Netwopia it got better, with better spotlight episodes, the pacing picking up and Marcy joining our merry crew. And it hit it’s peak with the second half of the season: the return to wartwood effortlessly combined slice of life with the compelling temple episodes. It was also a nice break before the utter hell that arrived in the finale, but still nicely lead up to said finale. This season may of STARTED bumpy but it finished at it’s highest point and with one epic finale to go it’s only going to get better from here.

As for this blog the same holds true: Review wise next week i’ll be taking a break from normal reviews to do a week’s worth of Goofy based content in time for his birthday, from shorts, to goof troop, to hosue of mouse, to an obscure special, all leading up to the Disney Classic A Goofy Movie. So stick around.

And if that dosen’t do it for you I have an ongoing retrospective on the story arcs of ducktales season 2, i’m nearing the end of one on Scott Pilgrim and in the middle of one of The Life and Times of Scrogoe McDuck. and if you prefer weekly reviews, as I mentioned earlier offhandidly i’ll be covering the Owl House! LIke Amphibia i’m starting with Season 2, but just like with this show i’m excited as all hell and hope you’ll join me. And if you need even more I have a patreon, patreon.com/popculturebuffet, where I have exclusive reviews if you choose to back me as well as exciting stretch goals, one of which down the line is reviewing season one of this very show. So join it and if not that’s okay too, either way.. it’s been a pleasure.

#amphibia #amphibia spoilers #true colors #anne boonchuy #marcy wu #sasha waybright #grimothy #captain grime #sprig plantar #andrias leviathan #keith david #hopidah plantar #polly plantar #frobo #genera yunan #lady olivia #disney channel #disney now

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loftec · 5 years

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I was really hoping to update NTW this weekend, but it’s looking less and less likely... so, here’s something else.

I found an alternate season 6/7 thing I started outlining when that whole mess went down, like just ideas for how Ian’s storyline could have worked out after season 5 (I would have included the other characters too, but honestly I don’t know what they’ve been up to since I stopped watching. Fiona bought a building. For some reason. I don’t want to know.).

So I’ve added some stuff for season 8 and 9, and since I’m probably never going to write it I thought I’d just share it for laughs.

May the 4th be with you!

Alt Shameless after season 5

Ian is on his meds and since he broke up with Mickey because he thought he’d be better off alone, he doesn’t go looking for new boyfriends.

He sleeps around a lot though.

He doesn’t have a lot of storyline, because he’s mostly clammed up and moping around, and his family keep assuming that it’s because of his meds.

Maybe four episodes in, something happens at work that makes Ian seek out an LGBT+ group, where he meets Trevor at a charity event. They work together all day and really hit it off, they have some similar interests (interests!), and they end up talking about a lot of things (things!). At the end of the day, Trevor asks him out, and Ian says yes before he’s remembered that he doesn’t do that stuff.

He’s nervous about the date and drinks a couple of beers before Trevor even shows up, he gets piss drunk and wakes up the next day in a strange room.

It’s Trevor’s bedroom, and Trevor comes in with coffee, telling him that Ian was pretty much drunk when he showed up and barely able to stand on his own two legs by the time they left. He doesn’t know where he lives, so he took him home for the night.

Ian tells him about being on meds, and that’s why he got so drunk so fast.

Trevor thinks he could have just told him, and Ian says his mental illness pretty much was the reason his old relationship didn’t work out.

Trevor asks if it was Mickey. Ian wonders what Trevor knows about it.

“You may have mentioned him last night.”

Ian says yeah, and is quick to correct him when Trevor assumes that it was Mickey who left.

“I broke up with him, thought it was the best for the both of us at the time… also don’t think I expected it to last. We usually find our way back.”

“But not this time?”

“He’s in prison. Fifteen years.”

It’s the first time he says it out loud.

Trevor says he’s not interested in starting a relationship with someone who’s clearly still in love with their ex (and Ian kinda smiles, because it’s true and it’s so nice that someone else can see it and accept it and take it seriously). But, he says, you do look like you could use a friend, and not to brag, but I make an excellent friend. He does the cheesy handshake, re-introduction thing (where we find out his last name!) and they agree to be friends.

(Turns out Trevor is estranged from his family, and after maybe a shaky start, he finds a natural spot in the Gallagher clan and becomes part of some of the other plot points throughout the season.)

Ian’s storylines can be about his work, and about stuff happening at the LGBT+ youth center, and they get into hijinks, but nothing super serious (or illegal!!).

Ian at some point has a big moment with Yevgeny, where he comes to terms with no longer being a parent, and maybe even thinking that it’s for the best. (Svetlana and her thrupple storyline can basically be the same, but end differently. With the three of them happy and together, and Yevgeny thinking of Kev as his dad. It’s not ideal, but neither is Yev being sad about his dad being in prison.) Maybe Ian talks to Svetlana about Mickey, maybe finding out for the first time that they aren’t married anymore. We don’t find out what Ian thinks or feels about this.

Throughout the second half of the season. Whenever the Gallaghers gather and Ian isn’t there, they wonder where he is and try to reach him, letting it go when he doesn’t answer.

But after it happens too many times to be a coincidence, they start wondering. Maybe Lip and Fiona talk about it, worrying about Ian having a low, or a high, but not knowing if they should intervene.

Lip talks to Trevor, and tells him more about Ian’s bipolar. Trevor denies having noticed anything going on, and maybe even questions if Lip has any right telling him Ian’s personal stuff.

(Also, I think it would be really nice for Trevor to have a romantic/sexy storyline... so I wouldn’t mind Trevor and Ian starting a friends with benefits relationship, deciding on the terms of it before they start it. Or, Trevor starts a relationship with someone else. Depends on how much drama one wants. Trevor could develop unrequited feelings. If one wants. But personally I think it would be more fun for everyone involved if he was allowed to fall in love with someone else.)

Last episode of the season, they’ve had some big plot point resolved by the Gallaghers getting together and working it out as a goddamned team, and they’re all sitting on the porch steps when a police car stops outside their house.

The officer tells them that Ian is on record as having visited Mickey in prison, and Lip is like, yeah, maybe a couple of times a year ago, what’s that got to do with anything? And the officer says, no, he’s visited once a week for the past six months. And Mickey has escaped. And they have a warrant to search their house.

The Gallaghers sit packed together on the couch watching the news as the officers search through the house, and on the TV we get the whole scoop. There has been a massive prison break and like 40 highly dangerous inmates have escaped, Mickey amongst them.

BOOM. Credits.

Season seven.

Throughout the season, we get like comedic side story lines about the police and the escaped inmates basically roaming the streets. Potentially outrageous and lots of opportunity to oscillate between slapstick comedy and high-stakes drama.

Ian waits for Mickey to contact him, but it doesn’t happen until maybe a couple of episodes in. TENSION.

Ian has other storylines through the season, but mainly it ends up being his secret rendezvous (plural, frequent, in-depth, sexy) with Mickey where they get to spend time together, talk. Bonus if they try to “be friends” for a while, because they don’t talk about the important stuff and they don’t know where they have each other, and they don’t know what’s going to happen. It doesn’t last long, culminating in an explosively passionate love scene.

At some point, Ian is approached by an FBI agent, telling him they have a deal for Mickey if he turns himself in and gives them info on the other escapees. Ian says he’s not in contact with Mickey and even if he was, Mickey would never snitch.

Later on, he talks to Mickey about their future. Mickey explains that the gang he joined in prison are escaping across the border to Mexico, and he has to go with them. Ian says he’ll come with Mickey, but Mickey is firmly against it.

He wants Ian to come with him, of course, but he doesn’t want that life for Ian. No security, a life of crime, on the lam. He kind of gets why Ian broke up with him, now, if this is anything like what he felt at the time, stuck between a rock and a hard place. Ian pleads with him, telling him that breaking up is something he’s only ever regretted since he did it.

Yeah, but what other choice have we got?

Ian tells him about the deal, and takes out two gold bands he’s bought from a pawnshop. If they get married, they can be put in the witness protection program together, and start over.

Mickey agrees, to Ian’s great surprise, and they end the season being shipped off to an unknown location as the busload of prisoners get apprehended on the way to Mexico (cartoonish, but with a little bit of work and research, maybe could be an acceptably goofy and almost realistic plot point).

(For Drama, Mickey could be with the prisoners when they’re apprehended, and he’s shot dead by the police. Cut to Ian being in the ambulance that picks him up, and Mickey is still sitting in his body bag, all bloodied, as they suck face and the FBI drive them to their new location.)

Season 8

Ian and Mickey try to start a new life and it turns completely ridiculous (like, imagine a mix between IASIP where Mac and Dennis are in the house with the Mac & Cheese mixed with like, Suburgatory, or Weeds, or whatever. Two gay South Side kids suddenly trying to make a life for themselves in some middle class suburb somewhere, and they hate it and it all goes to shit. But they love each other and get each other through it.)

The hardship they face in their new life doesn’t come from them, (it’s from situations and circumstance, and other people being impossible) and every time something happens it only leads them to break down another barrier by eventually talking about their feelings and hopes for the future, and thoughts about the past. And I want them specifically to talk about Yevgeny, how hard it was for Mickey to feel anything good about him at first, but now he misses him like he’s missing a limb. Them trying to be a wholesome couple in a suburb somewhere is an unmitigated disaster, but it does help them get a lot closer to each other and work through their problems, and their past.

And then through some Shameless™ retcon, something suddenly makes it possible for them to return back home. Or maybe they’re just like, fuck this, is there anyone stopping us from just grabbing our shit and going home?? No. So they do.

Yevgeny is part of the reason why they return. They move in to the apartment above the Alibi at first, and Mickey can work with Svetlana in the bar and cook up semi-illegal side-hustles with Kev.

Everybody they know are on their side, denying everything in true South Side style if anyone asks about them, once again solidifying the core concept of the show; we take care of family.

The whole thing where they’re possibly in danger from the Mexican cartel looking to exact revenge for Mickey snitching (if they ever find out that he’s alive) could be played for laughs and brushed off, until it might come back and create more Drama in a later season, if needed, before being permanently resolved.

Characters thinking they’re invincible and being stupid about stuff like this is fine, I think, if they do it for a good reason.

#shameless us #ian x mickey #alternative season six seven eight and nine thoughts

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bugheadspoby · 5 years

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We're both crazy. (pt. 2 of Obsessed with my Stalker)

*Frequent changes of POVS*

29th August

Forsythe Pendelton Jones Jr. got arrested for Jason Blossom’s murder and the whole town sighed in relief except for the girl next door. She haven’t slept a wink since the news broke out. Who can possibly plant the murder weapon in his locker? and where did they find it? She buried them in the ground, this was one of the few things she learned from her favorite mystery series but the questions kept on spiraling in her mind. Was it her stalker? She haven’t received a note since that discovery. What could possibly be cooking up for her?

Jughead saw her tension visibly. He knew she haven’t slept in days and he didn’t either because he was busy observing her through the red head’s window and he had all the answers she craved but he wanted to feel the tension she felt inside her because he was crazy for when she contracts her little self and her body tenses up, lost in thoughts, trying to make things right by committing more sins. They both were equally crazy and psychopathic, both about each other and the little world of sins they created in disguise. The summer camp in school she joined for extra credit was finally over, which meant no more locker notes for a few weeks but her window was still open for them and she anxiously waited for them to come. She craved answers and only from him. On the other hand he loved watching her loose her mind over the arrest of his father. He was a creep and she was equally sinful, this is what made them a perfect power couple in Jughead’s mind. — 6AM in the morning she woke up by the sound of alarm clock and with her I woke up too because the sound was loud enough to wake someone who is a normal human being and not Archie. She stretched and yawned and then got up from her bed making her way to the semi closed blinds of her window and there it was! an answer I bestowed her. She picked it up and read it and suddenly she smiled creepily and her body breathed. Her shoulders relaxed and a soothing expression covered her face. It was just like the expression of my dreams when I finally let her come and it is oh so good. Oh how I love it when she looks like this but I love it even more when she is angry and tensed, that’s just hot on a different level.

“I got you covered babygirl, now you owe me”

She threw the paper away and laid down again on the bed facing the roof and I could perfectly see her curves, with her chest heaving up and down. My inner pervert was screaming at the sight of her never ending legs and the tight shorts that barely covered her ass was making me hard again. The cow named Archie shifted in his bed just when I was about to reach for my little one. He knows perfectly how to ruin a moment and he never have to put any effort, he just exists and boom! it’s ruined. He woke up and saw me at the window and without any suspicion, which requires a brain, he just greeted and walked into the bathroom. I turned around and she was gone too. I guess my little one has to wait more. I sighed and picked up my bag and rushed to the school where all the B&G staff was having a meeting, well it was just me and Kevin until I got to the office and to my surprise I found someone special waiting, in a perfect pink tank top and tight jeans that blew me away the moment I saw them on her long legs.

“Betty Cooper? What are you doing in the Blue and Gold staff meeting?” I asked, trying not to stare at her legs. “Jughead! Actually Kev called me here but he had to cancel. Today is my first day at the Blue and Gold” she said with a smile. “You’re-what?” I asked surprisingly. The one thing I was good at was writing and now she came here too to destroy me with her sexy little freaky self. How am I supposed to do stuff when she is literally sex on legs and constantly forcing me to push her down on Kevin’s nice little coffee table and give her a feeling she will never forget. “Yeah..I know you don’t like working with other students but I really need this for some extra credit and also to take my mind off of some things too” —

“Betty Cooper? What are you doing in the Blue and Gold staff meeting?” I heard his voice and a current ran in my body. An electric shock that turned me on instantly. God! why does he have that effect on me? Why him? Why a loner, dangerous Serpent King who probably cuts people down in his free time turns me on so bad and I feel things that I never even knew existed within me. This is unfair on so many levels but BETTY! you gotta stay focused, come to the point real quick. “Jughead! Actually Kev called me here but he had to cancel. Today is my first day at the Blue and Gold” I said awkwardly and he just looked at me with his signature smirk smile and the next thing I know was that I was wet downstairs. Can’t he feel the tension in the air? Can’t he just take me right there on Kev’s table? This is so bullshit. “You’re-what?” he asked surprisingly. “Yeah..I know you don’t like working with other students but I really need this for some extra credit and also to take my mind off of some things too” I blurted and regreted instantly. TOO MUCH INFORMATION FOR SOMEONE WHO IS PROBABLY YOUR STALKER BETTY! my mind yelled at me and he just kept on looking at me with creepy eyes. “What’s wrong Betty?” he asked in a dead serious tone and his voice turned cold. “Nothing just..typical family drama” I said fidgeting with my fingers. “I-Its fine Betts! You’re welcome to join!” he said after an interval and I smiled at him. “oh and theres this article that I’m working on and I was hoping Kevin will edit it but since hes M.I.A and you are newly recruited..you have to do it for me!” he commanded handing me a file and I was dying to say YES SIR but that would be awkward. “Yeah I will edit it till tomorrow” “Oh actually no! I want it in the next paper so tonight is the deadline” his expressions changed from soft to I don’t know what but he definitely had some mischief in his mind being all bossy. “Oh-um okay I will just drop it by then. Where will you be at night?” OUTSIDE YOUR WINDOW BETTY! DUH. “Whyte Wyrm!” he spurted and my veins sparked. “Wh-wyrm? You know I can’t be there Jug!” “Why the hell not?” he asked. “Last time I was there at your crowning some freak threatened me because I’m a damn northsider” I said going down the awful memory lane. “Tall Boy? he won’t be a problem this time and.. since my dad..” he said and then stopped in between looking at the ground and I felt utter guiltiness in my veins. I was the damn reason his father was behind bars for something I did and my crazy stalker covered it up for me by sending the father of the boy I’m nuts for, to jail! How fortunate I am! “He’s not..around much since then” he completed. “Oh..I’m sorry Jug!” Okay Betty! time to get on point. Remember why you’re here in the first place. I took his hand and he looked up to me. “How are you holding up?” Perfect! I give perfect fake gestures of sympathy despite of the fact that I was having multiple wars inside my head, drowning in guilt and angry about my stalker but still.. looking at him, the feeling was getting stronger and I was two steps closer to my next mistake. He always makes me do things that my fake perfect self would never even think about. I was dangerous and it was all because of him and God knows what kind of drastic effect he has on me. “I’m okay..I guess” he said “he was never a good father or a good husband and he actually found his place.. Where a criminal like him belongs.. He’ll be at peace now for the rest of his life” once again my mind shouted at me. How about you use him to get to that skank? Would that be selfish? Who cares? I’m doing it. It’s time to play his dirty game my way. You’re doing good Betty just keep going. — “Last time I was there at your crowning some freak threatened me because I’m a damn northsider” she blurted. I remember that day clearly. She was standing far off with the Lodge bitch and I gifted Fangs a punch for flirting with Betty. Sweet Pea’s father the oldest living serpent scumbag gave me the crown and she stood there smiling as I wore it. She looked like a walking sex in the blue satin shirt and tight pink skirt with her hair down. I was so happy looking at her when my father brought a pink haired bitch in front of me and pronounced her my Queen without even asking what or who I want. The next day she was found dead in her trailer.

“Tall Boy? he won’t be a problem this time and.. since my dad..” I stopped in between to observe her reaction. I could see her guilt through her eyes and I was loving it. If only she knew what effect she has on me. She makes me go all crazy but what I hate the most is that I’ve had enough of suffering the madness all alone. I want her in it too. I want her to feel the same things I’ve felt. “He’s not..around much since then” I completed.

He’s not around because of me and nobody knows what went down in the wyrm the night Tall Boy came out to me about my plans and her crimes.

*flashback*

“I know what you’re doing boy” he shouted at me while a cigarette hung in between my lips. “You can’t pin all this on your father! You bastard!” “Easy Tall Boy. You don’t wanna mess with the king!” I smirked. “He is the one who made you King and you’re doing this bullshit to him?! To your father?” he shouted again. “Yeah I know..He is the one who dragged me in the serpents, he is the reason my mom left me and he is the damn reason JB died so yeah he deserves it!” I shouted back. “And you can’t possibly do anything to change my mind because THAT TIP has already been sent to the sheriff” I said and turned around until he spoke again. “I know who killed that Blossom boy and I know you’re doing this for that Cooper bitch” he spurted as my eyes turned red in anger. “I know she is the one who poisoned my niece and then her bitch mother published it as an Overdose of Jingle Jangle in her newspaper” I punched him before he could say more. Blood splattered from his face as he tried to maintain his balance. “Don’t you fucking dare disrespect your queen Tall Boy” I said and walked away trying to control my anger and planning to get rid of him. And the next day he was missing.

“I’ll see you tonight Betty!” I said patting her back and leaving the room before I do something stupid because boy Archie is having a deep influence on me nowadays. Half of my days pass by thinking about Betty and her legs and the other half goes thinking that how can a man be possibly as brainless as Archie is. I guess I’ll never know.

After leaving school I went straight to Tall Boy just to make sure he’s still alive for a fresh punch because that bastard doesn't even deserve to die this soon after disrespecting Betty. I turned on the lights of the abandoned trailer and saw him awake, still struggling to let himself out of the chains I tied him with. “Are you ready for your final punishment Tall Boy? Do you have any last wish?” I smirked. “You’re not gonna get away with this!” he said. “Oh come on Tall Boy! last time I was here you were pleading for your life. Why this change all of a sudden?” “You will pay! Just wait and watch! she’ll slit your throat the way she did to the Blossom boy and then send your chopped up body to the serpents” “You have no idea what I’ll do to her once I’ll get her Tall Boy! She’s gonna be my perfect queen” I whispered. “But too bad you’re not gonna be there to see it when we’ll have the ceremony after the night I mark her” I laughed and took out my pocket knife. “Say goodbye to the world you worthless snake” “Before you kill me! Remember that JellyBean died because of you! not because of FP” he blurted as my eyes turned red once again and I slit his throat twice just to make sure that bearded bitch dies painfully and left not knowing why my eyes were raining all of a sudden. All the way back to Archie’s home I couldn't stop thinking about what he said but to distract myself I tried thinking about the night I’ll get my hands on her. Oh Betty! You have no idea..I will woo you in a dark place but unlike him you’ll be lying in my bed instead of a grave and screaming my name instead of screaming for mercy. — I was pretty nervous while getting ready for the Wyrm with the intention of getting laid tonight and I’m not complaining when it comes to the boy of my sinister dreams..I’ll let him do anything he wants to do to me even if its on a snooker table in the Wyrm.. What a fantasy Betty! I want everything to be perfect. I want to look irresistible and I want to bring his inner perv out and then I’ll make him go even more crazier.

I did the right thing! Toni was never the right one for Jughead and he surely doesn't know what I did to her little faux pink bitch.

I was, I am and I will be the perfect one for him no matter what happens. He needs a woman like me who is deadly, sinful and head over heels in love with him, drowning in his lust and craving him since the day she found out that he likes to see her naked. He is such a beautiful emerald eyed, raven haired walking sin that with every look he makes me want to rip off that snake skin from his body and cherish him by tasting every inch of him.

Oh Juggy! I’ve committed so many sins for you and now I’m gonna take what’s rightfully mine. YOU. TONIGHT!

#bughead #dark!jughead #dark!betty #bettyandjughead #bettycooper #jugheadjones #bettyxjughead #bugheadsmut #riverdale

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vampiresmiled · 5 years

Note

✩ caviar

they have had one interaction thus far and like … no hcs, so – i am completely winging it here. if i’m wrong, it’s canon now.

DISAGREEMENTS

who is more likely to raise their voice? steven. kev has only raised her voice twice in her life. both those times in relation to somebody she loved dying, so . . . unless somebody’s boutta kick the bucket, it’s steven. who threatens to leave but never actually does? kevin. she’s very loyal, kay. she likes sticking shit out. who actually keeps their word and leaves? i guess steven. who trashes the house? only one of these persons have anger issues, take a wild guess. do either of them get physical? i hope not. kev might’ve forgiven abuse in the past, odette is quaking, but she’s not a punching-bag, steven ! touch her and i’ll whoop your ass through the screen. how often do they argue/disagree? not often, honestly. what is there to argue about. their one convo is going great thus far. who is the first to apologise? kevin. she just leaps at the opportunity to apologize. she apologizes when she hasn’t even done anything wrong. the girl is malfunctioning, let me tell you.

SEX

who is on top? listen, kev might’ve had sex with two people . . . but that doesn’t necessarily means she knows what she’s doing. so steven. who is on the bottom? kev, the perpetual bottom. who has the strangest desires? i dunno, steven ? kev is too vanilla for this shit. any kinks? lord if i knew.who’s dominant in bed? steven, i’m guessing. is head ever in the equation? the fact that this is a question is honestly sad. i hope there is ! i can’t think about kevin sucking dick, though, so please don’t. if so, who is better at performing it? steven. definitely.ever had sex in public? no, that’s illegal.who moans the most? k to the e to the v.who leaves the most marks? probably steven.who screams the loudest? literally is that not the same as the question above. moaning and screaming what’s the heckin difference. who is the more experienced of the two? you don’t gotta ask me that ‘cause you know.do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? they’re both soft so take a gamble.rough or soft? see above.how long do they usually last? i wanna say whatever the national average. xoxois protection used? i hope so, i really do. kev’s smart enough for it. is steven? does it ever get boring? let’s be honest, she’s boring so probably.where is the strangest place they’d have sex? kev’s dreams.

FAMILY

do your muses plan on having children/or have children? i feel like steven wants kids but kevin definitely does not. she is a kid, why on earth would she want the responsibility of that when she can’t even take care of herself. if so, how many children do your muses want/have? steven probaby wants, like, 3 to replicate his own damn family. kev wants minus seventeen. who is the favorite parent? if we pretend that they will, in fact, end up with a little gremlin – steven. who is the authoritative parent? also steven. kev can’t even tell off a fly, let alone a snotty little brat. who is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? steven, too. kev loves school, how dare her kids not.who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? kevin. she eats like a crap herself, and since steven works out . . . i’m guessing he does not. who turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? also steven. kevin doesn’t understand sports. so unless it’s like a loud reading of mary shelly’s classics, then she’s not interested.who goes to parent teacher interviews? both. kevin is very non-threatening and sweet so teachers like her, steven asks the real questions and you know, is engaged and what not. best of both worlds. who changes the diapers? not kevin, that’s for sure. who gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? kevin doesn’t sleep well as it is, so are you really gonna make her do that ? jk, she’s already up so she will.who spends the most time with the children? steven, without question.who packs their lunch boxes? steven, yet again. who gives their children ‘the talk’? oof, definitely not kevin. she never got the talk herself so she wouldn’t even know where to begin.who cleans up after the kids? both. kevin isn’t really a neat-freak but when shit’s sticky . . . that’s gross. who worries the most? kevin. kevin worries about literally everything and now she’s gonna have to worry about this little poop goblin ? she’s gonna have a heart attack. who are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? how is this a question when kev has cussed like thrice in her life. she’s more likely to learn swears from her kids.

AFFECTION

who likes to cuddle? kev’s not big on physical contact like in general, so . . . i mean, she does but if it’s a question who likes it most it’s probably steven. who is the little spoon? kev. she’s wittle and she’s fragile and she needs all the protection in the whole wide world. who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? my bet’s on steven. get it together, man. who struggles to keep their hands to themself? still steven. but you know, i get it. danielle rose russell is baby. how long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? they need frequent breaks. who gives the most kisses? the answer might surprise you, but – kev ! she likes smooching. who doesn’t. what is their favourite non-sexual activity? based on their current thread ? they enjoy helping drunks get into their ubers. where is their favourite place to cuddle? whoever’s bed kev is currently in. who is more likely to playfully grope the other? steven doesn’t seem the type but she’s less of the type to so i’m gonna go ahead and give it to stephen. how often do they get time to themselves? she’s got school and work and he’s got work and his underground fight club, their schedules clash it’s really sad.

SLEEPING

who snores? steven seems like a snorer. that’s why sienna doesn’t wanna live with him, actually. new head canon ! from me 2 you. if both do, who snores the loudest? i mean, if only one person snores – do the math.do they share a bed or sleep separately? they don’t live together, so . . . separately. if they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? they start off together, end up not together. who talks in their sleep? kev, probably.what do they wear to bed? kev has straight up pj’s and steven seems like a t-shirt and boxers type of lad. are either of your muses insomniacs? kevin is fo cheezy. them night terrors really make it difficult to catch a snooze, you know. can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? hey, fun idea, have ronald prescribe this bitch some sleeping pills. steven step up your fucking game. that’s how you flirt, that’s how you woo a lady.do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? side by side type bitches.who wakes up with bed hair? steven, probably. kev’s the type to sleep with a ponytail to avoid this exact outcome.who wakes up first? kevin ‘cos she can’t fucking sleep. PERIOD !who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? i hope steven ‘cos kev can’t cook for shit.what is their favourite sleeping position? spooning, perhapth. who hogs the sheets? steven that troll.do they set an alarm each night? yes, they do. even when they don’t have to because kev’s bound to be awake at the crack of dawn anyhow. can a television be found in their bedroom? nope.who has nightmares? if you’ve been paying attention you would know this.who has ridiculous dreams? steven. he has fun, wacky dreams and kev has a pure trauma fest in hers. who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? steven, i was gonna say he’s a big boy but he really isn’t.who makes the bed? hopefully both ‘cos they got separate ones.what time is bed time? fuck if i know.any routines/rituals before bed? i bet steven’s a shower before bed lad and kev’s a shower in the morning gal . . . can i make it any more obvious. who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? steven, i bet.

WORK

who is the busiest? probably kevin ‘cos it’s like : her job, school, homework, friends, hamster maintenance . . . who rakes in the highest income? steven for sure.are any of your muses unemployed? nope. kev should be but by some miracle performed by god, she is not.who takes the most sick days? steven. kev can’t afford to have her boss dislike her. joseph please be kind to her. who is more likely to turn up late to work? kev. she just has this power to her that makes her stumble into everything and encounter disasters where there should be none.who sucks up to their boss? kevin. or well, she tries. what are their jobs? she’s a TA, he’s a bio teacher. who stresses the most? kev, we been knew. do your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? they enjoy them. more steven than her. she’s really only there to get a degree. are your muses financially stable? i wanna say yes but . . . kev’s stable ‘cos the espinas are and i don’t know about steven. teacher’s don’t make that much.

HOME

who does the washing? kev doesn’t know how a washing machine works, so.who takes out the trash? kev can do that, she knows how that works.who does the ironing? nobody. they seem like a wrinkly pair. who does the cooking? steven, we been through this.who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? kevin.who is messier? kevin’s not messy she’s just scatter-brained, don’t bully her. who leaves the toilet roll empty? nobody, i hope.who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? steven. kevin knows where the hamper is, she just doesn’t know where to take it.who forgets to flush the toilet? NOBODY. nasty.who is the prankster around the house? steven, he’s the fun dude. she’s the boring, uptight loser who should die.who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? kev. she’d lose herself if she could.who mows the lawn? steven.who answers the telephone? steven. kev has phone anxiety, that’s my self-insert right there.who does the vacuuming? steven. the vacuum is too large and dangerous for a child like herself.who does the groceries? both. she likes to ride on the cart.who takes the longest to shower? steven, probably. she’s not a fan of . . . personal hygiene ? i don’t know, she’s gets in and she gets out. she’s not pippa.who spends the most time in the bathroom? steven, yet again.

MISCELLANEOUS

is money a problem? [ miss i wanna be racially ambiguous vc ] yuh.how many cars do they own? one. she doesn’t know how to drive.do they own their home or do they rent? she doesn’t fucking live with him, damnit. do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? no.do they live in the city or in the country? no 2.0.do they enjoy their surroundings? yeah, kev’s a fan of sheffield and i’m guessing so is he or he would ditch. maybe.what’s their song? i said the song playing, muffled outside the dam door, during this thread is baby, i love your way by will to power ‘cos it’s a 1989 bop and sheffield’s just late with everything, kay. what do they do when they’re away from each other? rejoice in the lack of added dorkery. where did they first meet? the party. the rager. the . . . rave. i don’t know people don’t invite me to drink.how did they first meet? he said he liked her shoelaces and she said thanks i got them from the president.who spends the most money when out shopping? steven. kev is cheap and also broke.who’s more likely to flash their assets? neither has got any, so.who finds it amusing when the other trips over? probably steven. at first. but you know she keeps doing it and then it becomes concerning.any mental issues? ha. yeah.who’s terrified of bugs? steven has a huge fear of ladybugs, it’s a thing you can google it.who kills the spiders around the house? kev carries them out. for steven its ON SIGHT.their favourite place? i dunno, hell where they both belong. who pays the bills? neither.do they have any fears for their future? kevin only fears for her future. who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? steven. what a good, good boy. sawyer helped him with it.who uses up all of the hot water? steven. he needs it to wash away his sins.who’s the tallest? steven. barely, she’s actually taller than she looks.who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? steven. kevin’s too much of a chickenshit to.who wanders around in their underwear? steven put some damn clothes on.who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? sawyer. how long has she been back there. creepy.what do they tease each other about? i said check back again in 3-4 business days, thanks. who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? steven. not ‘cos she’s got a shite one ( pippa dresses her, remember ) but because kevin doesn’t have enough fashion range to judge anybody. do they have mutual friends? nope.who crushed first? kevin. it’s happening as we speak. any alcohol or substance related problems? n…no. maybe i’m wrong. maybe steven’s a secret crackhead. who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? steven. bloody and bruised too. please get another braincell. who swears the most? steven. obviously.

#all posts / ko.#starring steven / ko.#answered / ko.#soulsbled #ask

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fictionsofriverdale-blog · 6 years

Text

Baby Jones

Request: Hi! I love the fanfiction you write and I was wondering if you could make one with jellybean almost being raped by nick and The Whole gang support her (btw sorry 4 bad english)

Warnings: sexual assault (Also, lots of pictures and gifs! Sorry!)

Since moving back to Riverdale, it had been tough trying to make new friends. Normally, you weren’t bothered, as you had Jughead. But Jughead had the Serpents now, which left you alone most of the time. The merge with Riverdale High hadn’t helped. Your brother was now a high profile character. He had the potential to bridge the gap between the north and the south, but so far all he was doing was burning bridges. So I kept my head down.

Wandering down the quiet hallways of Riverdale High, I stopped to look through the window into the auditorium. Kevin was in there moving props around on the stage while Veronica was standing behind the microphone praciticing a new song. I quietly slipped through the door, but the click of the door closing echoed around the room. Damn acoustics! The singing stopped and Veronica looked towards me, and then smiled.

“Baby Jones! What are you doing here?” she squealed.

I cringed at the nickname. “Not much, just passing the time. And, please don’t call me Baby Jones, V. I’m 15 years old! Hardly a baby!”

Veronica giggled, “I’m sorry, JB, I’m sorry. But you know, you’ll always be a baby to Jughead” she teased.

“I know” I grumbled, crossing my arms in front of me.

“Hey, what are you up to tonight bab- uh, JB?”

“Nothing, I was just gonna watch Netflix and cook something at home.”

“On your own?” Kevin questioned.

“Well, I mean, yeh. We don’t exactly get much parental supervision and... Jughead’s always at the Wyrm. My dad won’t let me even cross that threshold.”

“That settles it! You’re coming with me to the Pembrooke!” Veronica squealed, clasping her hands in front of her chest. “We will have a girlie sleepover with Betty, and Kevin” Veronica had raised her voice here as Kevin had been about to moan about being left out.

“Um, sure, that sounds... fun” I conceded.

“Great! Come to mine at 8pm sharp!” Veronica ordered, pointing her index finger at me.

“Aye aye, captain” I saluted, before backing down the steps of the stage and retreating through the side door.

I stood outside the oversized front door of the Pembrooke, my duffel bag over my shoulder containing a change of clothes, an old t-shirt and shorts as Pyjamas, and my wash bag. I craned my neck to look up at the grand building that stood before me, wondering why on earth I had agreed to this. The door opened, and a man in uniform ushered me inside.

“Right this way, take the elevator to the third floor, and Miss Lodge will meet you up there” he annouced.

I followed his directions and sure enough, Veronica was there when the elevator doors opened. I looked past her and my jaw dropped when I saw that a series of beds had been set up in her lounge. Veronica took my bag from me and set it down on the ground. She grabbed my hand and dragged me over to sit with her on the nearest bed.

“The others will be here soon, but I thought it would be fun if we started with makeovers. You can go first, okay?”

I nodded slowly, and a smile spread across Veronica’s face. “Great! Wait here, I’ll grab my stuff!”

“You know we don’t have the same colouring V” I shouted over my shoulder. A phrase that I had picked up from Cheryl during Vixens tryouts.

“Oh ye of little faith! I have thought of that annnnd voila!” she had returned with a set of what looked like brand new make up.

“Veronica, what did you do? Did you buy this just for tonight?” I rolled my eyes are her ridiculousness, but I really did appreciate the effort that she was going to, and I could see that this was making her happy.

She made me sit with my legs crossed in the centre of the bed and she moved around me, poking and prodding my face with various brushes and implements. When she got the eyelash curlers out I started to panic, but she assured me that they weren’t going to hurt me.

Soon enough, the elevator doors opened again and a giggling Betty and Kevin tumbled out. However, as soon as they looked over at Veronica, and then to me, their giggles stopped, and I actually heard Keving gasp.

“Oh. my. god, JB... you look hot!” he exclaimed, “V, you didn’t wait for us?”

“Kevin, you know that makeovers calm me!”

Keving held his hands up in defeat and we all fell about laughing at Veronica’s pouty face.

After a few hours of dancing around the living room and watching cheesy rom-coms on Netflix, Veronica’s phone lit up with a message. Kevin grabbed at the phone before Veronica could untangle herself from the blankets that they had drapped over themselves.

“Who is Nick? and why is he inviting you to a party in Riverdale?” he questioned, holding the phone out of Veronica’s reach.

“Oh nick, he’s just an old friend from New York.” she reached for the phone, falling short, “What’s this party? Kev! Give me my phone!” she playfully slapped his arm and then changed tactics and began tickling him until his arm came down to protect his sides and Veronica grabbed her phone from him.

“Hey! Not fair!” Kevin grumbled.

“Who wants to go to a party?” Veronica sang out, wiggling her phone in front of us.

Betty looked unsure, but after much convincing, she agreed to go. I was less convinced. I was underage for a start, and my brother would flip if he knew that I was partying with the ‘Northsiders’. However, I guess what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and I don’t have to drink anything when I’m there. So, in the end, I decided to go with them to the Five Seasons, in a dress leant to me by Veronica herself.

As the hotel door opened, we were greeted by a well-dressed boy who Veronica thre her arms around and introduced to us all as Nick Saint-Clair, her friend from the Big City. We were welcomed inside where I spotted a few other Riverdale High students, including Reggie, Archie, Josie, and Valerie. Archie’s eyes widened when he saw me, and I went to perch on the armrest of the chair he had chosen.

“What are you doing here? Does Jughead know you’re here?” he questioned.

“No he doesn’t know I’m here, and you’re not going to tell him.” I glowered. He held his hands up in defence and smiled. “Besides, he’s off with his new friends. He won’t even notice that I’m not at home.” Archie patted my knee and smiled sadly. I knew he missed Jughead. They used to be like brothers, but with the rift between the north and the south growing, their friendship had been torn apart. Being Jughead’s little sister meant that I was somewhat Archie’s little sister too, and I had missed him when I had been in Toledo. Archie stood up and pulled me into a hug. I wrapped my arms around his middle and leant into him.

“I missed you when you were gone, you know?” he quietly admitted, “Jughead was miserable without you.”

I pulled away and looked up at him, “I missed you too, and Jughead is still miserable to be around” I joked.

“Would the lady like a drink?” we were interrupted by out host.

“Dude, she’s 15″ Archie squared up to Nick.

“Dude” Nick mimicked, “It’s just orange juice”

I took the cup from him and thanked Nick. I smirked up at Archie, “Some habits never die”

Despite the dwindling number of guests, the party was in full swing, and I was surprised that no neighbours had complained about the noise. Nick had turned the music all the way up and I could feel the bass vibrating through my bones. My toes were beginning to feel fuzzy and my skin was covered in a thin layer of cold sweat.

“I’ll be back, I’m going to the bathroom” I shouted into Archie’s ear. He nodded down at me and did a double take.

“Hey, are you alright JB?” he shouted into my ear.

“Yeh I’m just a bit warm.” I backed away and turned on my heel to find the bathroom, the sudden motion making my head spin slightly. My arms flew out to catch myself in the doorframe of a large bedroom, and I stopped for a minute to catch my breath. Seeing a light on in the en suite bathroom, I made my way around the bed but stopped when I heard the door close behind me, dampening the noise of the music.

“Hey beautiful, how are you feeling?” It was Nick.

“Honestly, I feel a little lightheaded. I think I just need some water.” I admitted.

“Take a seat on the bed, I’ll get you something to drink.” he was walking towards me, and a perched on the edge of the bed.

He stopped in front of me and put his hands on my cheeks, tilting my face up to look into his eyes. He leant down to kiss me, slowly pushing me back so that I was lying down. His lips tasted horrible, like whisky or something. I tried to push him back but my arms felt to heavy.I could barely lift them off the bed. I shook my head, trying to move so that I could say no or scream for help, but as soon as his lips left mine, his hand clamped down across my mouth, sqeezing my cheeks so hard that I knew I’d have bruises.

His other hand snaked down my body, heading towards the bottom of my dress. I ried to kick my legs out, but I couldn’t feel anything, they weren’t moving, weren’t co-ordinating with my brain. Panic filled my entire body, and I tried to bite down on Nick’s hand. He slapped my leg when he realised what I was trying to do, and his face came so close to my own that I could smell the alcohol on his breath.

“If you try anything like that again, you will regret it. I’m doing this for you. I’m so much better for you than that ginger prick out there.” He thought that Archie and I were together? I felt my dress being pushed up my body, I felt the cold air hitting the tops of my thighs. I tried again to wriggle free, to fight him, but my body was not fighting with me.

Suddenly, the door burst open and stopped what he was doing and looked up, sneering when he saw that it was Archie.

“What the hell is going on here?” Archie growled, crossing the large room in only a few steps. He punched Nick right in the face, and made sure that he was slumped on the floor before he turned to me. Noticing that I hadn’t moved since he came in, despite the fact that my panties were on show, he panicked.

“JB are you okay?” I nodde slowly, tears filled my eyes and spilled down my cheeks. Archie grabbed a blanket that was folded at the foot of the bed and wrapped it around me, pulling my body into his lap, hugging me against his chest.

A pair of heels clicked against the wooden floor of the bedroom as Veronica stumbled in laughing with Kevin. The laughing stopped as soon as they took in the scene that lay before them. Veronica ran over to me and Archie, laying one hand on Archie’s shoulder and the other on my arm.

“What happened?” she whispered softly, fearing that she would somehow spook me.

“I think he drugged her.” Archie said, jutting his chin out at Nick, who was still slumped on the floor. “When I came in he was... he was standing over her on the bed...”

“I’m calling my dad” Kevin announced, bringing his phone up to his ear. I don’t remember hearing the phone call. Archie was stroking my back, trying to sooth me as I cried, and Veronica was stroking my hair.

Suddenly there was a commotion on the floor next to the bed, and I tucked myself into Archie’s chest even more, worried that Nick was getting up.

“It’s okay, don’t worry, I won’t let him get you. Besides, Kevin’s got him pinned down” Archie whispered into my hair. Thank god for Keller’s wrestling moves, I thought.

Before I knew it, Sherrif Keller was in the room and Archie was giving his statement while Nick was being escorted out byu a deputy. Archie was still holding me tightly into his chest, throughout the whole statement. He explained how I hadn’t looked very well when I said I was going to find the bathroom, and that he had noticed I had been gone a while and just thought that I was being sick or something when he came to find me.

The door burst open again, making me jump.

“Where is she?” It was Jughead, and his voice was frantic. He was out of breath, and soaked from the rain. “Where is she?”

Archie’s arms loosened, and Jughead crossed the room and sat on the bed next to Archie. I crawled into my brothers arms, and clung to his damp t-shirt. He wrapped his arms around me, pulling my knees into my chest and holding me together. He used to hold me like this when we were kids, when our parents were fighitng in the living room.

“What happened? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” he questioned frantically.

I shook my head against his chest, a new wave of tears cascading down my cheeks. Archie explained what happened while Jughead cradled me in his arms.

After Archie had finished telling the wretched tale, I pulled back to look up into my brother’s eyes. “How did you know something had happened?” I sniffled.

Jughead opened his mouth to answer, before Betty chimed in from the doorway, “I called him, I hope that’s okay?” I looked over to Betty, and was shocked to see that she was flanked by Toni, Sweetpea, and Fangs. My eyes widened and I looked back at my brother.

“Serpent’s take care of their own” He mumbled.

I nodded and tucked myself back into my brother’s arms.

#Riverdale #Riverdale fanfic #riverdale fanfiction #Jughead Jones #Jellybean Jones #Betty Cooper #Veronica Lodge #Kevin Keller #Nick Saint Clair #Archie Andrews #Riverdale angst #Southside Serpents #Riverdale Serpents #Riverdale Core Four #JB Jones #Jughead #Jellybean

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looselucy · 6 years

Photo

February

Thursday had been relatively uninteresting, spent entirely indoors, watching the worst possible films Netflix had to offer. Very enjoyable, but nothing to write home about. It was now Friday morning, after another night sharing Harry’s bed, our legs intertwining at some point in our sleep, but shooting from one another as soon as we woke, and I was downstairs making us some breakfast.

Harry’s house was constantly stocked up with food, I had noticed. There was never a chance they would run out of milk, or bread. Never would you wake up in the morning without every ingredient you needed, and more, to make a full English breakfast. Everything you could ever want to eat, you were bound to find it in Harry’s house. Safe to say, it was my idea of heaven. Kev and Ben were out working for the day, which meant it was just me and Harry, which was fine, but we had no plans once again, which wasn’t the worst, but nor was it the best. I was looking forward to Manchester the night after. Harry was upstairs showering when my phone rang, and even though I was happy to see Zayn’s name on my screen, I hadn’t really been expecting a phone-call from Barcelona. “Good morning!” I beamed when I answered. “I’m currently making a full English breakfast. Are you proud? I know it’s usually you who does the cooking, but I can actually do it! I’ll cook you a full English when you’re home, I promise. I miss you. I’m talking too much. How’s it going? Is it sunny? Is it hot?” “You’re too chirpy.” He spoke. “Am I?” “Yeah. Well, to say you’ve been spending time with Harry Styles... Yeah.” My face dropped as the sausages sizzled. God damn. My plan has been foiled. I didn’t really know what to say. I fumbled over myself and tried to structure a sentence in a way that would go against what he had said so I could keep the plan of turning back up at university on Monday and surprising everyone with our new found friendship. Then I figured the other half of my troublesome twosome may have forgotten our original intent. “Oh god damn. Did Harry tell you?” “Huh? Tell me what?” “I’m really confused.” I wobbled. “You posted a picture of you and Harry in the pub on Wednesday night, and literally, what the fuck? Why are you at the pub with Harry? What the fuck?” Of course. It was me who ruined our plan. Absolute idiot. I hadn’t even realised. I had thought not to tweet about it, or put anything on Facebook, but I pretty much forgot about Instagram. Also, to be honest, I had just got so excited about the fact that me and Harry finally had a picture together, that we were finally at the stage where I could put my arm around his neck and we could smile towards a camera together. I really loved my first picture with Harry, and I had wanted to share it. Katie from home had text me straight away, asking who he was. “Shite. I totally forgot about that.” I rolled my eyes at myself. “An explanation, Pip? C’mon, it’s probably costing me a fortune ringing you from here, so cough up. I’m too confused. I need to know. Also, miss you too.” I did miss him, like mad, so much more than I was ever expecting to. Not even a week without a boy who I didn’t even know a year ago, and I was more or less falling apart without him. I cooed down to the floor before I finally got around to explaining myself. There was no longer any point denying it. “He offered me a lift when he was driving home-” “Harry drives?” “APPARENTLY? Who knew, right? Anyway, so I took him up on it, didn’t really know where to go. So then he offered for me to stay at his and I didn’t know what else to do, so I said yeah and now... like... we’re really getting on. It’s weird. We’re finally friends.” He didn’t say anything for a little while, but I could hear his grin, really hear it. Of course he was grinning. He had two best friends at uni (three if you include Louis, but I was still ignoring him at that stage) and that was me and Harry, who unfortunately, had hated each other in the past. Of course he was beaming that we were finally getting on, that made his life ten times easier, and made our future time at university full of prosperity. It was exciting, for all of us. “Well, thank god for that!” He sighed after some time. “I feel like I’ve been waiting my entire life for this day. God, I’m so happy for you, Pippa! That must feel like such a weight off your shoulders!” “Yeah, it does, really. It’s good. I mean, it’s annoying how everyone was right about us being similar and getting on but... yeah. It’s good.” “Alright, good. Well, I’m not even joking, this is probably costing a bomb. My mums gunna kill me, so I better shoot. I miss you loads. I’m not back til Tuesday, so I’ll see you then, alright?” “Beautiful. Miss you loads, have fun and get home safe.” “Will do. All my love, to you and Harry.” “I’ll let him know. Byeeeee.” “Bye.” He chuckled. With that, we hung up, and I went back to making breakfast, it already being ready and heated perfectly in time. The beans, the sausages, the bacon, the tomatoes. Everything was ready and beautifully cooked all at the right time. I was overcome with a bizarre sense of achievement. I plated it all up, grinning madly to myself as I did, feeling like I may as well apply to go on Masterchef or some kind of Gordon Ramsey programme just so show off my new skills. The decoration could have been a little better, to say the least, but I figured the quality was going to be good. Just as I was about to skip happily from the kitchen to inform Harry his Michelin Star meal was ready, he shouted me first. “PIP-SQUEAK!” I heard from upstairs, a hint of panic in his tone. “WHAT? YOU OKAY?” “PIP-SQUEAK, WHAT THE FUCK? HOLY SHIT, PIP-SQUEAK!” “HARRY, WHAT THE HELL? YOU’RE SCARING ME!” I stood in the kitchen doorway, and in seconds he was storming down to me, his footsteps and breathing loud. He flipped round the corner in an absolute state, his eyes were wide and worried, his breathing and posture all over the show. I was scared to death. I stood just waiting for him to say something as he stood at the far end of corridor, just looking back at me, unsure where to start. I opened my mouth in an attempt to speak, but he cut me off, finally explaining himself. “My lecturer emailed me.” He gasped. “Oh. Shit. Right. Okay?” “Said... Shit. He said I made a valid point, and that I have the freedom to picture whatever I want from now on to get my point across, and he’s glad I brought up the issue, because they’re looking into changing the entire course so there’s more freedom. For everyone. Fuck... Pippa they’ve listened to me. I’m staying. I don’t have to drop out. I’m staying.” My heart warmed, and it was almost like I could feel butterflies in my stomach. God knows why. But I was so excited and over the damn moon that he didn’t have to leave, that we had the time and the opportunity to let our friendship develop even more. Because we were doing so well. I really didn’t want it to stop. “You can stay?” I fluttered, my lips turning towards the sun. “I can stay.” He chuckled lightly. Without even saying anything else he rushed and closed the small gap between us, wrapping his arms tight around my waist as I flung quickly around his neck and he pulled me into his tough body, pushing against me and holding me so tight it felt like I could barely breathe. He then lifted me off the floor for a brief moment, before I lumbered back down, giggling and swaying with him. “I’m so happy for you.” I whispered. “Fuck. Me too, Pip. Me too.” The hug was extensive, dragged out for much longer than it needed to be, to the point where it was quiet and it was like we were touching just for the sake of touching, just to feel close to someone. I pulled away with the sudden realisation that my masterpiece of a meal would be losing its heat. I breathed heavily down to the floor, before looking back up to him, almost nervous beneath his gaze. “Food’s ready.” I mumbled. “It better be fit for a king, since that’s how I’m feeling right now.” “It definitely is.” He bit his lip in a smile and then whisked past me into the kitchen, leaving me catching my breath for a second before I turned around and joined him. “Jesus, Pip, this looks good.” He pulled out his chair and sat down. I sat down next to him, and we both started tucking in. I noticed Harry was the same as me, as we ate. Neither of us could really stop smiling. Harry had gotten everything he wanted and more, all in the form of an email. He could finally start taking the kind of pictures he wanted, at the university he wanted, surrounded by the people he wanted. Me included. I was overjoyed for him. For myself, too. There was massive potential in myself and Harry, and fuck, I’d never been a quitter when it came to people. Wasn’t going to start being at any point soon. It was also the thought of not having to say goodbye again, since I was so terrible at it. I didn’t have to say goodbye to him, and I was glad of that. “Shame though.” Harry shrugged from nowhere. “Tuesday night was a waste of time.” “Why?” “I’m not gunna use those pictures now. I’m gunna go with the original idea I had for the galaxy theme. So, yeah. It was a bit of a waste of time.” “Oh. I guess so.” Harry turned his head slowly to me, still chewing, eyeing up the side of my face as I sliced my sausages into smaller pieces, gulping and pretending I hadn’t noticed his stares. “Maybe not a complete waste of time.” He added. “I finally got you with a camera in your hand, didn’t I?” “You did.” I smiled, finally turning my head. ”Can’t possibly be a waste of time then. As long as you keep it up. Those pictures you got are good. Really good. You’re talented, Pippa.” “Thank you.” I put my head back to my food and shovelled some into my mouth, trying not to blush, but it had been so long since I was complimented on a picture, simply because it had been so long since I had taken one. Even my final assignment at college on my photography course hadn’t been up to scratch. I ended up scraping a B when I knew I had the potential to get an A. It was because my parents had already told me by that stage, that I couldn’t study it at university. All my applications had already been filled, and they were all to study English. I hadn’t enjoyed taking a photo for a year, if not slightly longer. That night, I did. I wouldn’t have done it without him. “Will you help me with my new ones?” He asked with a gulp. “Sure. What’s your plan?” “I have something in mind. You’re going to be a big contribution though so... I just need to know that you’re comfortable with it.” I suddenly remembered that Harry liked picturing body parts, picturing people, their lines and the hidden art within their bodies, the true shape of people. It dawned on me that I would actually be in front of the camera, rather than behind it, where I was more comfortable. “Go on...” I egged. “I want to paint something on your back, that’ll cover your whole back. I want to paint like... deep purples and stars and... Yeah. I dunno. It’s fine if you don’t want to, I’d totally understand ‘cause it’ll be pretty... intimate, y’know? I’ll find someone else if-” “I’d love to, Harry. I’ve seen your pictures, I’d be fucking honoured to be a part of one of them.” “Yeah?” He grinned. “Yeah.” I nodded. + + + As soon as Harry had broken the news to Kev and Ben about his lecturer emailing him, Ben had cheered so loud I swear one of the windows almost shattered, and proclaimed he was going to cook the greatest meal known to man and we would all sit down and dress nice and eat together. Friday night perfection. I hadn’t packed anything that I would class as suitable for ‘dressing nice’ because really, I wished I had a full length dress so I could do it properly. But when I rushed and threw a few things into a bag whilst Harry was waiting for me in the kitchen at uni, it hadn’t ever crossed my mind to throw a cocktail dress in there. So I’d gone with my only other option, the black dress I was planning on wearing the next night in Manchester. More important times had arrived. It was tight, down to my knees, very figuring hugging and backless, little tassels on the hem and on the sleeves. I finished my hair and jiggled my legs as I looked in the mirror, relatively pleased with my appearance. “You look good.” I heard from behind me. I whipped my head around and saw Harry with his arms folded, leaning against the door-frame to his en-suite, smirking to himself. “Thanks.” I giggled. “You ready? We’re all good to go downstairs.” “Sure.” I eyed myself up one last time in the mirror, before I whipped around again. Harry was wearing his usual black skinny jeans, unsurprising. But rather than a t-shirt, he was wearing a tight, white shirt, tucked into the jeans, some black shiny shoes on his feet that I hadn’t seen previously. “Nice boots.” I pointed to them. “Thanks. Ben got them for me. Apparently, it’s for, being the shining star at my uni and changing the course of my course forever.” He tried to mock his father’s tone. I giggled again and then looked up to Harry, his eyes glimmering under the bright bathroom light. He seemed so happy. He was shining. “You scrub up well, for a scrub.” I tilted my head. “Flattered. C’mon, Pip-Squeak, I’m starving.” I nodded and signalled for him to set off, so he did, quickly turning on his heel and making his way downstairs, so I swiftly followed. I had been able to smell the food for around half an hour, and my belly was rumbling so loud I was almost in pain. I had, by that point, experienced Ben’s cooking a few times, but on this occasion, he had said he was ‘actually going to make an effort’ so I had no idea what was coming, how delicious it was going to be. We wandered into the kitchen, and the breakfast bar wasn’t set up like I had imagined it would be. Harry sauntered further away, and I just followed, a little confused. He flung open some curtains which I had figured, since they were always closed, lead to some door to the back garden, but as he flung them open, I was welcomed for the first time to an extension to the house, where there was a grand dining table, the food already being set out for us by Ben and Kev. Kev was a little more reserved, clearly happy for Harry but calm, whereas Ben had been bouncing off the walls all night. “TAH DAH!” He yelled as we walked in, Harry laughing right away. “I give you, red peppers with goats cheese, and lamb absolutely smothered in cider, probably enough to get us all half gone. Sit down, come on!” For the first time all week, I felt like I was intruding, like maybe this was a family moment that they needed to share between themselves and I shouldn’t have been there. They were all so happy, maybe Ben and Kev were even happier than Harry was. It was their son, and he was finally more than happy with what he was doing. That girl he had mentioned that he hated over Christmas, was now his friend. They were over the moon. Subconsciously, I lingered in the doorway as they all sat down, feeling uncomfortable going further in. Harry glanced to me, and I swear his face dropped. He had started worrying about me, I hated that. I didn’t want to bring his night down in any way shape or form. “Sit down, Pippa.” Kev cleared his throat. “We can’t start without you.” I took a deep breath and then slid over, tucking into my seat as quickly as I could, looking down to my food whilst everyone else picked up their cutlery. “You okay?” Harry whispered, nudging my knee with his own under the table. “Yeah, sorry. I’m fine.” I whispered back with a smile. Brushing past the moment came pretty easily when Kev lifted his glass high in the centre of the table, waiting for us all to follow his lead, which we quickly did. They had cracked open a good bottle of wine, and even though it was never my drink of choice, I was going to have to stomach it. I had manners. “I’d like to raise a glass, to my son.” He grinned. “For working hard, making a point, and finally being exactly where he wants to be.” “To Harry!” Ben concluded. “TO HARRY!” We all said at once. Our glasses chimed together in a sweet tune, before we all took a swig, the wine going down like water, far too easily. I knew I needed to take it steady. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being a drunken mess at that dinner table with Harry and his dads. “We invited Niall, but he had plans with Naomi.” Kev said as we tucked in. I swear to god, it was almost like they knew when I wasn’t feeling quite right about something, and they knew exactly what to say to make me feel comfortable, without me ever having to say anything. I was convinced they had magic powers. The fact they had invited Niall made me feel like I definitely wasn’t intruding. “Shame.” Harry said, his mouth half full. “He’s like, my second son.” Ben sighed dramatically. “Niall’s the only person Harry’s still in touch with who has actually known Harry longer than we have.” Kev told me. “Really?” My eyes went wide. “Yes. If anything, we’re jealous.” Ben shrugged. “When Harry was moved away from his mother he was six. They moved him a couple of towns over, to the adoption home nearest to us, and he started going to school with Niall.” Kev told me. “She’s not my fucking mother!” Harry’s fist clenched on top of the table. “For fuck sake, why do you have to call her that every time she’s fucking mentioned? Stop. Fuck.” Ben and Kev both bit their tongues, quite literally. This was clearly something that had been discussed, even argued about, previously. When Harry had told me the tale of his biological mother, he referred to the woman as his mother, so I wouldn’t have thought it was an issue either. But how else was he supposed to reference her? Not only that, I think the main thing that got to him was that it was Kev and Ben who were using that word. Harry didn’t want them to ever feel like it was anyone other than themselves, who he classed as a parent. She was just some woman, they were his family. The two men had no idea what to say, and I ached for them. They had all gone from eating without fully digesting their food, to just eating in silence. I kind of figured that Ben and Kev hadn’t figured out the exact reason Harry was so uncomfortable with them using that word, other than blind hatred for her. Harry regretted snapping, that much was clear, written in the way his body slumped, the way he ate quietly, even to the point where he refused to let his cutlery clatter against his plate like it usually would. “When I was little,” I began. “My mum used to take me and my brother Liam swimming on a Tuesday night. We would get private lessons off a woman there who was so friendly, and so nice, we just thought the world of. One night, Liam came into my room and told he thought that she was our real mother. After a while of buying into this… conspiracy theory, we were… so convinced, that after a month or so we started crying to my real mum, and begging her to return us to her. We kept asking why she had stolen us from our mummy. We were convinced. It all seems so silly now, but… It broke my mums heart, to be honest. That was when we first found out our mums first name. Liam found a letter and then we started calling her Lisa. It tore her up because like... it didn’t matter that she knew she was our real mum, she was just upset by the way we felt about it. ‘Cause that’s all that matters, really, isn’t it? The way you feel. I guess I’ve only just figured out that’s why she got so upset.” Harry had been staring intently at the side of my face throughout my story, and there was a moment or two of complete silence before Kev’s face broke, his lips cracking into a giant smile before he burst out laughing, soon followed by Ben, and then by Harry. Eventually I joined in, covering my mouth with the back of my hand, trying not to choke on my food. “You thought your swimming teacher was your mum?” Kev coughed, everyone still laughing. “We really did! Both of us! Utterly convinced.” I chuckled. Ben was in absolute stitches, leaning far back in his chair, whereas Harry’s face was now in his hands, his elbows on the table, shaking his head at my story, an unmistakable grin showing that unmistakable dimple. After the laughter came to an end, things went back to normal, the atmosphere completely calmed, and it was like it had never happened. The only acknowledgment it was given again, was Harry, once more, nudging my knee with his own under the table. I had turned to him, and he had mimed a ‘thank you’ to me, with a wink. That was all we needed. + + + “Are you ready?” Harry called from the outside of his room. “Yes, I’m ready!” “Are you boobies hidden?” He said boobies like an absolute child. “Yes, Harry. My boobies are hidden.” “Are you sure? I’m gunna be honest, Pip, I’m pretty okay with them not being hidden. If I was to walk in and see some boobies, it wouldn’t be the worst.” “For fuck sake, Harry, just get in here.” I was laying on my front, topless, my breasts pressed down to a cushion on the floor as I awkwardly twisted my head round to look over my shoulder and see him poke his head through the door, making sure I was decent, before he fully stepped inside, now only wearing a pair of baggy gym shorts. There were paints and paintbrushes down at my side, Not Another Teen Movie was playing on the TV, which I could watch if I strained my neck a little, but it wasn’t really worth the effort. There was another pillow for my head, so I lay it down, my face to the side as Harry gently approached and got onto his knees beside me, next to the paints he had selected which lay at the side of my body. I watched as he concentrated on the skin of my back. “You sure about this, Pip-Squeak?” “Definitely. Now get painting.” The meal had gone perfectly after the slight blip, and myself and Harry had kept our drinking under control thanks to the fact we knew he would be painting on me and picturing me later on in the night. The same couldn’t be said for Kev and Ben, who had originally fallen asleep on the sofa, Ben tucked into Kev’s side, four bottles of wine down, before Harry had lumbered them both to bed. It was barely 10pm. Harry set everything up, and a few minutes later, I finally felt the cold brush on my back, flinching slightly. “Sorry!” He gasped. “It’s fine. Just a bit cold.” I tittered. He must have done around five minutes of painting. I had turned my head the other way in an attempt to get a slight glimpse of the film, but after laughing too much at a scene, Harry had switched channels, since my giggles weren’t much help when he was trying to paint on my shaking body. We were now watching Along Came a Spider, a firm favourite on Film4, and it had Morgan Freeman in it, so that was absolutely fine by me. “You enjoy dinner?” He asked me after some time. “Yeah, I really did.” “I’m sorry… About when I snapped.” He sighed heavily, uneasy. “Don’t be sorry. Must be weird, the thought that they aren’t your biological parents.” I hoped I hadn’t overstepped the mark, mentioning that, but it felt comfortable. The statement just flew out of me without a second thought, and I figured we were just like that with one another thanks to our past few days together. We had spoken about so many personal things, and somehow, it was normal. Even so, I widened my eyes and silently cursed myself for letting that fall so easily from me, it was still kind of unfamiliar how comfortable we were with one another. “They are my biological parents.” He replied. His statement was solid and sure. I didn’t know what to say. How would I ever know the feeling? I didn’t want to turn around and tell him he was wrong, they weren’t, because how the hell would I ever be able to relate to how Harry felt about those men? “Wh-what do you mean?” Was what I eventually chose to say. “They are my biological parents.” He confirmed once more. “They’re my dad’s. There’s something in the core of them that makes them love me. That made them want me. There is a chemical thing occurring in their bodies that makes me, mentally, their child. That is something completely out of their control, out of my control. Physically, I believe, it makes them my parents. If that doesn’t make them my biological parents, I don’t know what does.” I was swooning to the point where it felt like I was almost drowning in his words. He couldn’t have put it better. I wished Kev and Ben had been able to her Harry speak of them so fondly and honestly. That wasn’t some kind of excuse, something Harry had thought up to make himself feel better. That was genuinely how he felt, deep in his heart. “I think that’s the best thing I’ve ever heard you say.” I told him. “That proves more to me than any DNA link with that fucking woman. There are more important things.” I nodded, because like I said, I would never be able to relate, I just had to completely trust in Harry’s words, which wasn’t hard when he was so confident, his voice so strong. We were done talking for a while after that. I began concentrating on the tickles of the paintbrush on my bare back. It was quite therapeutic, in a weird way, like I was getting some kind of mini massage. It felt like he must have covered most of my back in the dark purple he had chosen by this stage. I tried to look over my shoulder again to see his work, but I could only get a rubbish glimpse of what he had done. I groaned and collapsed back down, watching Harry laugh at me, shifting uncomfortably on his knees. “Pip?” “Mm?” “Can I ask a massive favour?” “Shoot.” “I’m like, ridiculously uncomfortable, and painting sideways isn’t good. Can I... Can I please sit on the tops of your legs? I just need to do some lighter shading and get the stars in there. I promise I won’t be too long. Not long enough to make your legs numb, anyway.” “Do your thing.” I shrugged. He hadn’t really expected such a casual reaction from me, but it didn’t matter to me. We had shared a bed for the past two nights, three times altogether. It wouldn’t be ridiculous for him to sit on me, so he could finish his job. He moved, straddling my body and then plonking himself down as gently as he could, a little further up than he had promised, his weight mainly resting on my behind. My eyes widened again for a split second, before I just dealt with it, because he wasn’t budging. I exhaled a little, pursing my lips to do so, trying to get comfortable and not think about the fact that I was almost 100% sure I could feel his... y’know... thing. God damn, I definitely could. Those shorts were far too thin. I could definitely feel it which meant for a fact he knew it was against my right cheek. He seemed unfazed by it though. He didn’t say anything and didn’t start breathing uneasily like I did. He just leaned in further, and began painting my back again. “I don’t mean to toot my own horn when it comes to my painting skills,” Harry huffed. “But... well... toot toot.” I rolled my eyes and let out a tiny giggle, biting my lip, then closing my eyes, deciding to just relax and ignore the obvious. “You excited to go back to uni?” I asked, trying my best to look at him. “Now I am! It’s all onwards and upwards now, Pip. I can’t wait.” “I’m well happy for you.” “Zayn text me today, after you spoke to him.” He told me. “Yeah? I’m not too surprised.” I chuckled. “Did you know he’s already looking at three bedroom houses for us next year?” He chuckled too, a lot deeper. “Already? God, he’s keen.” “I know. I think it’s probably a good idea though.” “What about Mike and Tally?” “Mike was saying he’s looking into it with some lads on his course. And, I’m gunna be honest, I don’t really want to live with Tally.” He began placing dots of white on my back. “Well, a week ago, you wouldn’t have wanted to live with me either! Maybe you should give it a chance.” “We’ll see.” He lowered even further down to put the tiny dots on my back to finish off the look he had imagined, and I could feel his breath on my back, trickling down my spine like cool water. I got goose-bumps within seconds. He must have noticed. I couldn’t see them but I could feel how huge they were. My nose crinkled and I mouthed a ‘fuck’ because I was so frustrated. I didn’t want Harry to read into the goose-bumps, his breath was just warm and gentle and I felt so bloody exposed. “It looks good.” Harry mumbled, so quietly, it was like I would have to read his words off the skin on my back to fully take them in. “Is it ready?” I asked, desperately wanting to move by that point and just get the photos out of the way. “Almost.” Another three minutes of silence went on, a dramatic gunshot going off on the TV at some point but neither of us were concentrating on the film by then. Harry stopped eventually, sighing, proud. “Is it done?” “Yeah.” “Can I see? Quick, take a picture on my phone.” I passed it awkwardly over my shoulder and he took a quick snap, then passed it back to me. It looked amazing. Harry had every reason to toot his own horn because it really did look beautiful. I hated myself for knowing so many talented people. “It’s well good, innit?” Harry smirked, totally self-assured. “It pains me to say it but, yes, you’ve done a good job, Harold.” He was still sat on me. There was no reason for him to be, I was hoping he would have hopped off the second he had dotted the final star on me, but he didn’t. He stayed put, looking down to my back, my goose-bumps finally starting to shrink. Suddenly his hands moved, and they were touching my back, gently, his fingertips on my naked skin. “What are you-” “I’m just smoothing the edges. Sorry.” His thumbs blurred the lines on the outside of the paint, and my entire body tensed. I should have been relaxed, this was the closest thing to a massage I could possibly get but I had never been so stiff in my entire life. “Okay.” His voice was so low and deep, I couldn’t breathe. “It’s done.” “Where do you want me?” “Um... In the hall. Against the blank wall.” Even though he hadn’t got off me, still, I began to move, trying to stand up, forcing him off my body. I wrapped my arms around my front and got to my feet, Harry doing the same behind me. I pushed past him as quickly as I could, making sure I was covered, and scurried out into the hall, now more grateful that Ben and Kev were so wasted, at least we didn’t risk them coming out into the hall and finding me topless with my breasts against the wall. Harry followed soon after, purposefully not looking my way until he was behind me and there was no risk of him seeing my breasts, his giant camera drowning in his even bigger hands. “What do you want me to do?” I whispered to the wall. “Arms up.” He demanded quietly. “Wrap your hands in your hair. Click your hip to the left.” I did exactly as I was told, trying to ignore the circumstances and just feel normal. I was no model, and I had never experienced anything like that, but I would be damned if I was going to ruin Harry’s pictures just because I couldn’t let loose. The flash of his camera lightened the dark hall. “Was that okay?” I gulped. “Could you... turn your head to the side? I’d like to get a profile shot of your face... If that’s okay?” I nodded, and did just that, even more nervous now I knew my face would be featured in them. But if that’s what Harry wanted, that’s what I was willing to give him, no matter how strange it felt.

#so buzzed to hear your thoughts on this #this chapter means very much a lot to me #1dff #Harry Styles #BB17

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