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elizabethrobertajones · 6 years

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13x10 3rd Watch Notes

... I was too excited to do notes, that's all on me :P We're doing this late, fuelled with 3 days of fandom yelling, and a large pot of rooibos tea.

I think starting the recap with Jody's line from 9x19 that started this whole thing emotionally is BRILLIANT -

Whatever you want from me, I'll give it. If you want, I'm here.

Because this was the perfectly tuned line to say to Alex to respect her boundaries, respect her journey and where she might go and the choices she had to make about her future and what Jody would do for her... But now it encapsulates the entire heart of this show, because this is Jody laying herself on the line for her girls, for all of them, as the emotional core of the show, the one whose house for "wayward girls" is opening up for business. That she's given the same promise to Patience, and taken in Claire and would probably do the same for Kaia in a flash, even was the one to offer to teach Donna more about hunting at the end of 10x08, though she's adult support.

I think it's 100% the right choice, because Jody is undoubtedly the core of this, and I don't think her adopting Alex was the first time anyone thought she could have a spin off - a hunter sheriff is an ideal idea for refocussing and, honestly, Weekend at Bobby's started to sell the idea in that you could flip around the POV and whether he was in it or not, Jody's perspective on it all was even more fascinating than his. But obviously by 9x19, right in the shadow of the failed spin off attempt, the obvious choice was right there under their noses, and this line sealed the deal, because it gave Jody the chance to prove she was capable of carrying that weight. And boy does she.

"Wayward girls" said over the clip of Alex and Claire being dragged into their respective jail/child prison cells by the authorities, to show their roots before Jody got to 'em

Patience being offered her route in as the decision she has to make about leaving her life to *become* wayward and go off her seemingly easy path through life.

"Losing everyone you've ever known" - Claire losing Amelia (holding her like Jody will hold her at the end of the episode), Jody killing Momma - two very very different scenarios, but in both, how they lost their mother/mother figure, one a tragedy, one saving her from the toxic upbringing.

"Am I brave enough/ Am I strong enough?" the music sings over Claire in the taxi in 10x20 going into her future, when we see her last before she settles with iron certainty on becoming a hunter, and then Alex right after she has made her choice, and stabbed Momma with the dead man's blood so that she can be free

"To push away my fear/ To stand where I'm afraid" Patience choosing to leave when her father tells her she won't come back, and Donna seeing her first vampire, and being pulled into the world of the supernatural

"I am through with this" Jody, I think, right after she kills Momma, having struck the decisive blow which changes her life to bring her and Alex together and start this all

Then loud music/chorus and I lose music comprehension and we're recapping and they're all being badass :P

They've done a lot of beheading.

Claire fighting the werewolf in 12x16 edited to not show her getting beaten >.>

To be fair, that's the learning experience where she doesn't make the mistake again this very episode :D

(And she has a lot of mistakes still to make to be formed into a great hunter... She's still 5 years younger than Dean in 1x01!)

The best bit is how the badass music was for the girls, and it drops away when Jack is on screen and becomes very muted because this is The Man Pain(TM) and therefore not right to play this song for :P All the other dialogue had it at least pumping away in the background.

And, yep, her first appearance in the recap, she's part of the main plot, not the established sisters (I wondered about this on the first watch but bleh :P) you hear "I've been sacrificed" for Kaia: https://elizabethrobertajones.tumblr.com/post/169929858758/and-all-three-of-kaias-screams-got-punctuated

She's a huuuuge part of the show but I guess that's in a main plot way - the mythology will be built around her and Claire's emotional story is built around that. In a way it elevates her, but it also, for now, excludes her from the core family group, as she's not there in the end for the family meal around the table, and she's not here in the opening credits being layered in with them. I suspect if the show is picked up, we'll have Kaia back by the end of the first season, and she'll be officially welcomed to the family group, but in the meantime as she's *so* new she hasn't got the same connection to the story and history of Jody's family, even that Patience is rooted deep in SPN's story despite being new, and met Jody early on in the season... Staggering their arrivals means that Kaia being able to join the family would be a huge goal to achieve, to round out their numbers and have their first big victory.

This song is the only way to make that last action of 13x09 any more amped up than it already was.

And the song ends and we recap Patience on Jody's doorstep and her vision as the lead in to the episode, which, oh no. :(

I love this opening sequence a ridiculous amount. Quirky one-off werewolves, tiny lil blonde girl representing who Claire used to be right down to the braid in her hair (and she lost her shoe!) and the whole slow approach of the delivery van Claire stole while implementing this extremely extra plan... There's good tension in this whole thing, and the werewolf's knock knock joke made me laugh out loud because I'm awful... Also "don't play with your damn food" ... god.

Claire's knock knock joke is, of course, much better.

I love the way she pulls up and brings light to this place, and sets the monsters on edge before she ever knocks on the door. And the yellow eyes callback! It looks so much like one of the early shots of yellow eyes, maybe the revealing one... If this is the proper opening of the pilot, to compare it to 1x01, we have Claire saving a girl from the yellow-eyed monster... Down on their magnitude of monsters they deal with though. There's no destiny and epic plan that can possibly compete with what the Winchesters get up to, and really, no one wants or needs there to be.

We've seen a lot of tilted picture frames this season and I don't know if it's because before this season started I photoshopped one straight for silly reasons or if it's because it's an actual theme. It's still symbolic, of the picture being shifted, which might mean you're viewing it wrong, or that the picture itself has changed and moved - which this show is doing both in the main show and this itself being a new and different perspective on the show.

I love how Mr Werewolf completely unironically says "who's there" after all that stuff scaring the kid without even thinking about how this can bounce back in his face and he's going to get the fright.

I love Claire's innocent little "Huh?" when he says that, and the gentle music like maybe this was all a misunderstanding.

"Your name's right on the box." He's reduced down to just being a monster, and she's the thing that kills monsters. :D

I also love that she blows him away before he can say "Bitch"

And that Claire uses Amanda's full name to greet her and put her at ease, but also that she's taken away Mr Werewolf's name, and given Amanda hers.

She's so gentle with the little girl :D

And she has so many weapons shoved in her boots!

I like how this show she can now use her fighting skills to overpower a werewolf despite being smaller, and also that she knows not to let them get the drop on her, and reads Amanda's face well when honestly it's a trope not to realise why the person you think you're freeing looks like that and get surprised again.

I also like it was a lady werewolf who attacks at the end - it's not JUST a girlpower, men are dumb brutes message, just that these girls are very strong in their own ways and that is a good thing to celebrate. You can still get lil girls who get kidnapped, innocent civilian moms, and werewolf ladies. Before you even hit the range of girls and women in the main characters.

The sad moment where she reunites a family and wishes for a moment it would be that simple for her... And at the end she is given a whole large family to emotionally reunite with - or join for the first time :D

And then the rehash of the "hunting trip and haven't been home for a few days" line, and title card. I think a lot has already been written about what's different, like that it's Jody calling Claire home, and taking her off the road. And she's the parental figure - which may just reflect back on what Dean was to Sam I guess :P Except that she's also just friends with Sam n Dean, and this is also a front to get Claire home, because she's more concerned about Patience's vision and Claire dying than she is about Sam and Dean, concerning as that is. She doesn't know any of the ways in which they could even remotely currently be fucked, as she last checked in with them at the start of 13x09 and they last checked in with her after getting the lead on Kaia. Obviously Dean had some motives that he didn't want to be alone and didn't REALLY need Sam, he just wanted to have him around, but, yeah, this is entirely for Claire's sake. There isn't so much mytharc as there is intensely personal, heart-based reasons for things :')

How many episodes start with showing Jody's truck... I love the shot of Claire in the mirror as she pulls into the driveway, just kind of... staring at Jody's truck and wondering if she's doing the right thing coming home, like she's already facing down Jody after leaving. Like it only becomes real in that moment at the end of the drive.

It kills me that Alex and Jody are around a 6-person table. I already pointed out in the rewatch notes for the earlier stuff that Jody's living room has room for 6, but you know me and table meta. There's 6 seats around this table, and one of them is for Kaia, though she never makes it to sit with them. At the moment, it's just Alex and Jody, and all the rest are going to join in around them :D

Thinking of: Claire comes in, smiles nervously at them all, breaks the tension asking Alex if she missed her and getting some snark in, and Jody hugs Claire waaay more than normal, her face over her shoulder betraying absolute relief, before she gets back to business and introduces Patience. Claire's face falls, recognising all the hallmarks of being replaced - and Patience brought like 2 shirts with her or something, so has been borrowing Claire's old clothes because Jody probably said it was okay (Patience seems like she would have asked :P) and here's Claire, and... Yeah, I don't think all of Claire's initial reaction is just because she doesn't believe in visions or whatever, but because she feels like Patience is an impostor. And a rival.

I love Patience's last look after Claire abruptly changes the subject on the awkward silence and charges off - "well, that went... about as terribly as it could have" :P

Patience sitting next to Jody on the sofa probably can't help either >.> Jody's like a protective barrier between her and Claire - and Alex to an extent, just because they're not on the same side.

I LOVE Claire slapping away Alex's hand and Alex's teasing look when she says "baby". She's soooo much more confident than we've ever seen her before, and she's happy to tease, and to get deep without falling into her own trauma and not being able to get back out. In 11x12 she was still very hurt, and had only just made it to the surface of coping every day. In this episode she's clearly much more settled and happy and feels a sense of belonging and purpose. She'd not even consider staying to hunt just because Claire needles her it's the right thing to do, and I love that Alex has a job helping and healing people, after being indirectly responsible for so much death. Of course when there's serious work to do and Jody needs her that beats everything, but she is so confident about what she's doing.

Also just the detail that she's the one who does antiseptic cream because anyone can theoretically do that but it's showing Alex's place as the qualified healer in the group. Based on how she gets deep with Claire AND Patience, I think that she may be a secondary emotional healer too, for stuff that's not really a "Mom" problem for Jody.

Claire says, "What about the girl?" *pause* "Kaia" trying the name out of size in her mouth for the first time, saying it weirdly soft and carefully... :')

And then we cut to Kaia being discovered just as Claire says her name. And that shot introducing her by her hand - that she will die with her hand outstretched to Claire... Oh no....

Alex checking Jody will be okay without her before she leaves - it makes Claire suspicious because the tone is suggesting emotionally, not manpower. Jody's holding off having the conversation with Claire and Alex knows it, and says she knew how Claire would react in the next scene with them... She's got all their numbers

And Claire immediately challenges Jody to tell her, all bravado, and when she says she's safe, Jody cracks and you can hear it in her voice - distress that Jody does not often show as she says "No you're not!" and finally explains what Patience saw.

Having to tell someone you saw them die is a great intro >.> I mean, definitely worse than it turning out you stole their sweater :P

Claire laughs it off but then her face falls as no one turns it into a joke, and she's clearly starting to wonder by the time Jody leans in and insists Patience is the real deal

Claire immediately goes to the bargaining stage, and then denial, followed by anger and turning it into the ongoing argument about being allowed to hunt and how Jody has been stifling her and not allowing her to hunt. It's the same argument as 11x12, and though we saw in 13x03 Jody stoically trying to accept Claire's decision in her comments on her leaving, now we see that the argument has never really gone away, but they haven't been tested by anything huge enough until now to work through it

Oh Claire... Talking about not having enough time to plan and how it's good to go charging in if people need saving. And saying she won't end up dead... Alllll the irony for later :(

Jody accuses her of running away, and off Claire goes.

Patience watching all this from the sofa like... I'm... sorry...? Oh god this is awkward.

Alex being competent :D (Also a good thing to establish if she's going to have to keep ditching her job for monster autopsies and letting Claire hang around checking the system :P)

Snark snark snark, A+ dynamic between Claire and Alex - I'm glad we see all the different levels of how well they know each other, like Alex and Patience being comfortable but not close, Claire barely knowing Patience, Claire REALLY getting on with Kaia, and of course Claire and Alex having a several years old relationship where they've warmed up to each other but still need to maintain a snarky exterior.

And like with Claire coming in the door, there's a moment where it seems like Claire's anxiously waiting on Alex's approval, and is relieved when the snark comes which reassures her that they're good and she hasn't overstepped (especially as she had been needling her, and Claire's been away from home for months).

"And I knew how you'd react"

*pause*

*deflection to snarking at her some more*

And then they get really deep about what Jody means to them and what she needs from them and who has been there for her... I don't think Alex meant it that way and she immediately knows she implied Claire left them, but Claire does take it that way, and starts explaining how she felt, about why she couldn't stay yet... And Alex points out that Jody *always* worries about her, whether she's there or not. Which stops Claire short because it comes across as such a weighty declaration - the betrayal of Jody's feelings of not being able to stop worrying about Claire no matter where she is, being so much deeper than just fussing about Claire not getting killed on her watch, which can be taken as regular over-protectiveness, especially when Jody is a hunter and sheriff so protecting people is her day-to-day... Even though Claire has started to think of Jody as her mom, she's so used to being abandoned I guess it might be hard for her to accept people still care about her when she's not around, and that she's not better off elsewhere not getting in the way, and preempting abandonment.

And Alex changes the subject, and Claire looks at her fondly for doing that, and humouring her to help with the hunt.

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee Claire looking at Kaia!!!

The MOMENT they did that eye thing with the close up staring I had to pause and squeal the first time because while I'd been looking forward to them interacting, I had NOT expected it to be blatantly signposted that they were about to form the most intense relationship of the episode after Claire and Jody's arc. Like, I'd added up that Claire was the main character, Kaia was plot relevant, and we see them in the promo shots in 3 separate scenes talking alone that we knew of plus they appeared to be in the Bad Place alone together so I figured they were going to spend some time building up this relationship but hoooly crap they went for it.

Claire and Kaia both play it cool for the nurse, then leap into action.

From Kaia's POV Claire might be an unusually young detective, or some sort of monster or angel... Perhaps it works best if we assume Kaia's still worried about being kidnapped by angels, for most dramatic irony, that Claire, a former angel vessel herself, wanders in like hey there and Kaia is assuming yet another angel is coming for her.

Claire wanders in like "where are you going" and though she grins at her, taken in that light it's very threatening... But then she starts talking about Kaia having the cops on her ass, which is the last thing Kaia would be worrying about.

"Who are you?" she asks, realising that Claire may not be an angel after all.

"I'm a friend of Sam and Dean Winchester" - that should be the all access card but she has no idea that Dean abducted Kaia at gunpoint and this is the worst way to make her trust Claire. But seeing that she's human, Kaia makes her escape.

Kaia's reaction to being confronted by one of these monsters in the real world, not in her dreams where "at least" they can stay if she doesn't sleep, is brilliant. Of course she'd freeze in horror... As much as she's used to running away from them, they're not supposed to BE here.

I love Claire's BAMF confidence to just pull a knife and charge the thing - though of course a light stabbing doesn't do much and she gets thrown. It takes teamwork with Jody to bring it down for her to get a good stab at it, so though she gets the kill it has to be a team effort, aka you need back up, you can't rush in and do things on your own, Claire. And who knows how things would have gone if Jody hadn't come to the hospital - I guess because Alex called her and said Claire had been by and found Kaia?

"So let's talk" It's much more confrontational than how Claire then goes and talks to Kaia. I suppose because at that point she's still running away, but somewhere between all this getting the monster in a body bag, cleaning up, getting it home, letting Kaia get dressed in something other than a hospital gown, Claire's seen she's just terrified and running, but not trouble herself... I mean, Kaia agreed to come with them, and is sitting quietly on the porch.

Idk why they are sitting out in front of the house when monsters are possibly after them :P

Patience like yeeep I'm not ready for this when they unwrap their monster. Alex so casual, like, okay, we're doing this...

Being raised by vampires probably does a number on your squeamishness. And since this is all technically for good rather than harming people, Alex has no issues with it at all.

Eeeeeeee Dreamhunter conversation!!

We've already picked over it so much >.>

Claire comes walking in all confident and opening up about the monsters - because she swaggers into every conversation, fight etc when she thinks she has the upper hand. Kaia is ready to open up, since Claire saved her, and explains what she can about the monsters and her dreams.

And then Claire assumes that Kaia is a hunter of sorts, who deals with these monsters like a BAMF - "so you fight them?" "No, I run" *Claire stares at her in horror, as it sinks in just how much Kaia must be scared and how she's been running from monsters every time she dreams* "Sometimes they catch me," Kaia admits because when we compare this to the scene in last episode with the awful group leader at the rehab place, she can't tell the truth to anyone, but now Claire knows all about monsters and so the truth is not going to make Kaia look crazy...

"Is that how you got that?" Claire asks, spotting the scar, still sizing up exactly what is happening to Kaia, and Kaia admits she has other scars all over. At this point she's clearly moved to trusting Claire and being relieved to unload a bit, even if she won't look at her, yet.

Claire sees how upset this makes Kaia, the first notes of a gentle song start in the background to show we're now bonding, and she immediately leaps to trying to make it all okay - to show her that scars are trophies and to be celebrated surviving these things. "Me too," she says, unknowingly echoing the catchphrase of the last few months, since this episode pre-dates it. Taken in this context though, and the whole author is dead thing, it's a powerful statement because in 13x09 Kaia's interactions with men and monsters were all entitlement and even Jack was grabby hands and not knowing boundaries, and Dean in his fit of panic about Mary, threatened her with a gun and lost sight of her as a person - just wanted to use her for her powers, which is a blatant metaphor. Claire got bitten by a werewolf in 12x16 in an assault-coded attack, and in her earliest episodes back on the show had a lot of blatant near-misses, terror of nighttime attacks and the sketchy caravan people thing, and now when we meet her again she's blasting away werewolves who terrorise little girls, and overcoming the old adversary. And wearing her scars with pride and no shame. And encourages Kaia to feel the same way, after being harassed by the monsters of her dark consciousness who've left their marks all over her.

Claire approaches this all with her reckless enthusiasm that makes her such a great lil Dean mirror (but also all her own self for all her other traits) - "Ghoul bite" she says like it's the coolest thing ever, and immediately Kaia is smiling to see Claire open up and show her that she's not alone or damaged in a way that will make people think less of her - because Claire at least will think it's awesome. "Bar fight with a vampire... he threw me through a window." She smiles completely pleased with herself for having lived such a badass life already. That she's got these stories to tell. Kaia is captivated by now, wanting to know more about Claire, what other stories she's got written on her body.

Claire smiles and meets her eyes and looks away, bashful.

"And this one?" Kaia reaches right into Claire's space and brushes a finger over her forehead.

(Personal space? Never heard of it :P)

It's set up as an accident (though of course it's all a writing decision) in order to make Claire get off her guard and admit she's not as cool as she makes herself sound sometimes, and not all her scars are real heroic battles. And it makes Kaia laugh, getting to see beyond Claire's facade. Which, of course, is the big old Dean Winchester parallel and she's been doing it all along, pretending one thing even when it's blatantly obvious it's not. She's got better at it as she gets older, but Kaia still gets past that layer :D

They share a few glances and giggles, and then having got through enough of Kaia's layers to establish trust and a sense of being comfortable together, Claire tries again, asking, "Kaia, what happened?" in the most gentle voice ever - because she's learned to reach out to other people now, and how to judge when's the time to ask without demanding.

And though Kaia looks scared, now we know she'll talk.

There's a green AND red cooler behind Patience :D

This monster has such a cool and disgusting design. I'm completely with Patience about not being able to look at it :P Alex is still wearing her scrubs from the hospital, completely professional.

I pointed out in a post while doing the rewatch that Alex and Claire were both wearing black and white vertical stripes and then that Patience showed up wearing them too (Claire's sweater) - I think this is the only scene you can tell, but Kaia has a sweater too and it's got black and RED stripes, the only one of them to break the pattern, and, sadly, because she's marked for death :(

I love how Kaia says "it's where that came from" and gestures the monster with an eyebrow alone. Good acting.

Patience's "ugh" face too. She is so the audience stand in here, the normal kid who has to stand in the room with a monster autopsy all of a sudden and it's not even a big deal to anyone else here in a "what the fuck this can happen!?!?" kind of way :P

Kaia lurks on the other side of the door as she explains, while Claire has moved into the room to watch the autopsy - Kaia's even talking about doors to other worlds while she explains. She looks so small and separated from them. Probably more foreshadowing she'll end up separated from them... "Something went wrong"

God that monster is disgusting. A+ design.

Claire's little smile as she realises she has a chance to save Sam and Dean. "The door's still open!"

20 minutes in and we see Sam n Dean enjoying roast lizard.

"It's a lizard. It tastes like a lizard" is quite possibly the best line Dean's ever had on the show.

I've seen a spectacular lack of irony about how Sam and Dean don't need saving because they've survived this long and lol they're just camping in the woods, like the very same writers who then let Bad Place Kaia overwhelm them in a fight didn't let them sit down and roast an iguana. Like Sam and Dean are their own living entities who managed to survive this long in the woods without supervision, and like the eye of Sauron turning on them, once the writers are dealing with their lives again, everything goes to shit and the girlpower takes over.

So to be brief: Sam and Dean are used for the dramatic irony in Kaia's comment which has been a theme all season that they say Mom is dead, Cas is dead, what's burned stays dead, and we hop over to see Mary alive, or Cas waking up in the Empty. In this case, Kaia's been persecuted by the Bad Place with an intent, because Bad!Kaia is after her for some reason, and won't let her go (which is probably why she overloaded when she tried to leave the Bad Place via non-waking up means with Jack's help - Bad!Kaia looms up in her vision and stops her from going), and Sam and Dean were just chucked here. Bad!Kaia is probably stalking them the whole time waiting for an opening but she absolutely is not bothering them like she's had it in for her alternate self, I suppose seeing them as a curiosity and probable dinner for her big friend.

They've survived this long because they're not important.

They've survived this long because they're competent at being flung into the woods with nothing to their name, because we've seen them do it before - literally last midseason opener had the same concept :P

But they're not surviving as a fuck you to Kaia's presumption they're dead, and they're not living entities with any ability to shape the story to their favour to prove a point :P Sheesh...

Anyway Sam refuses to eat his lizard because it's gross and he has hope that they can escape - it parallels the start of the season, that Sam has hope, that he's holding on to change their circumstances. Dean is wallowing in the idea that they're going to be stuck, that hope has probably petered out and the portal closed, and he he has to adapt and resign himself to their fate. That no one knows how to get here, that MAYBE Jack might find a way back to them but who knows what happened there - they don't so all they can do is walk and survive and at least get used enough to this situation to eat a lizard and not go hungry and lose strength over nothing.

And Sam's denial, of food, and that hope is over, is not healthy for him, though it bears out, if anything it enforces his beliefs - and there is NOTHING wrong with hope but spreading yourself thin, not eating, not living for yourself in the meantime... They need to combine their approaches, to mix hope with self-care.

Ugh, what a nasty looking spear :(

Patience, 100% grossed out by the monster autopsy, has decided that she has done her part and she really doesn't need to be here to oversee nonsense like this :P

Alex immediately finds her, and sees what's up.

"Is that what you want?" she asks, sounding surprised. Given Patience told her that "maybe my dad will take me back" it's clear Alex knows pretty much everything we know about Patience, that she walked out on her dad in order to deliver the message. She'd also know, then, how determined Patience was to do it, and how important it was to her to get to Jody and pass on the warning. Patience hasn't seen any action but at the very least she's bonded to seeing through the story connected to her vision. Alex understands that Patience has made a personal sacrifice for this, and that asking her dad to take her back is going to have more connotations than just going home because it all got a bit too ikky - it's putting visions behind her, putting this whole thing behind her, and wanting to be normal again. And Alex, as I said, seems to have everyone's number :P

(She used to be very good at picking out marks >.>)

She snarks that Patience will pretend she's "Little miss perfect and not a powerful psychic" like Patience can't do both. I mean come on, give her a chance, she's got an in built perfectionist streak that's going to end up applied to hunting just as hard as it was applied to school, just watch if we get a show :P But yeah, no, the connotation is to go home and just do exams and try to be normal. The message coming from Alex is blatantly obvious, as we've been seeing from the start - the Alex of 9x19 and then the Alex of 11x12 are both gone, and instead we have an Alex who found her balance, and a true motivation.

"Well, you gotta bury 'em somewhere." Honestly at this point this is when I realised Alex is the secret weapon to this whole project because she's extremely funny and because she's got dark dark humour, and that dark dark history, and that doesn't go away, she just channels it into being this domestic, loving healer type who's got a dark streak miles deep.

In any case, Patience needs to do the whole "refusing the call" thing a few times because she has a main character arc of her own which we frustratingly don't get to see the end results of because the vision that took her here and ended the episode with coming true wrong, is a huge development for her, but we're gonna need the show to find out how it affected her. I mean it's great to leave it all hanging but graaaarrrr I neeeed it nooowww

The story, of course, has different ideas. Patience, it says, you're one of us, you're a main character here! So rather than let her go, it gives her a vision to make her immediately have a dramatic concern to protect them, and so she comes running back and of course she has the perfect getaway vehicle in her massive car...

I would LOVE to know what Claire and Kaia were talking about downstairs together, but I think it's also just nice to know they chose to sit close together and talk when we weren't looking at them, that they bonded closer... Because of course this is something that Berens has helped write before - the mixtape scene is the prime example of showing that there's a whole iceberg under the surface of DeanCas interaction and that they know each other better than we will ever know them, because they get all that time when they're not on screen having adventures to get to know each other, if the story will let them. And clearly it does, because Dean made Cas a mixtape.

Anyways, Claire and Kaia, who have a gentle, flirty dynamic, spent at least 10-20 minutes talking in private :')

Claire is prone to looking at Patience's lips too. Oops. I guess she's just surrounded by cute girls so what to do??

She and Patience have the vision as the core conflict, that Patience feels Claire blew off her vision and she accuses her that she came here to save her and Claire just wants to fight monsters... And Kaia is the one who intervenes in the fight and convinces Claire to be rational and go. I LOVE the angry stare-off between Claire and Patience though - that Patience thinks that Claire thinks she's a fake, when Claire's a lil freaked out and putting on a lot of bravado about it.

And the camera going between them, to Kaia who reaches in and pulls Claire out of defying Patience for more bravado.

But also that in the wider narrative this episode is set up around Patience's vision and her misinterpreting it as being about Claire dying - but it's Kaia, and that teaches Claire to have less bravado, to rely on the others and to have her "army" as she thinks of them, of support to plan and help and work as a team.

For now, Kaia's intervention is enough to soften her, just as her overall meaning to Claire will soften her :(

Kaia's face as she watches the monsters smash up the house. Claire's as she has to accept this is really happening and Patience was right - which means her vision about Claire will happen...

Patience just annoyed no one will listen to her

TIME FOR D-TRAIN

I love how Patience even thinks for a moment the National Guard might help in a monster situation.

Donna gets the best entrance this episode. Sorry Claire :P

Now she's here they really get to work. Donna gets out her weapons to badass music, drops the hilarious Minnesota line, and Jody calls Kaia aside to work out where they're supposed to go to find that door.

With the help of Alex beating Sam Winchester in a game of wifi tag

Getting in another reaction shot of Patience on "who knows howta use a flamethrower?" was genius.

Jody's resigned look as she revs up for another stay back and wait speech - wheedling Claire. She looks over and sees they're all watching her, wondering what Jody is asking her perhaps, or knowing it. Kaia is in the foreground, and Jody says "Kaia and the girls" and I watched and giffed waaaay too recently for my Dean n Cas are in love gif series, 5x04 where Dean says to 2009!Dean that he's going to feed all his friends into the meat grinder - Cas too??

I think Jody thinks of Alex and Patience more as the girls under her protection because they have a pre-existing relationship, even if Patience's is newer, while Kaia is still basically unknown to her. But that just implies further that Kaia is under Claire's protection instead, already. Before Claire says anything.

I cry a lot about them already :P

And Jody's surprise when Claire gives in with only a glance over at Kaia because she was expecting the fight. She's smart enough not to throw that back at Claire and turn it into a victory or demand to know what changed.

Sam belatedly seeming to think they're in a different universe, not a different world - and the fact they HAVE that distinction in the first place... I think it may just be settling in how far from home they are, and how difficult it will be to get back.

Again, Dean concerned with the practicalities, cleaning his boots, grumbling, accepting that this is pretty much their life now while Sam is still philosophising and coming to terms with it.

Bad!Kaia has some serious moves :D Just thinking of the spear connection, when they fought Ramiel they got the better of him. But she's small and fast and has clearly learned to fight from the very start and the spear is a natural extension of herself. It's not some big showy fight, she's small and strong and wants them knocked out and on the floor.

Donna knowing they found the right place because the Impala is parked outside of it. Perfect :D

This is all she does this episode except for driving the Winchesters home - just telling Jody and Donna where to go.

And they march on in like the competent badasses they are :D

The weirdness of what they're walking into slowly sinks in as they pass the melted angel blade - Jody knows what one is from 12x06, where she would be more like the average hunters who, like Asa, think of it as so special to keep back and put in a felt-lined box. She's never seen wingprints before either. And then there's the glow of the portal from upstairs...

Claire sits in silent contemplation, and Kaia takes it as her chance to come reassure Claire, since Claire sat with her and made her feel better last night. Claire smiles to herself before she moves over, happy to see her. And Kaia watches her closely, leaning around to catch Claire's expression, so she can diagnose that Claire is scared...

Here we get to the most important lines for Claire as a Dean mirror - the thing Dean's been grappling with for years and Berens had a whole section about in 12x22 where Dean talked about how they might die, when they thought they were facing their end in the suffocating Bunker. Claire sees her end, and expresses it the same way Dean does - she wanted to go down swinging, doing something heroic and good that would mean she lived a good life. Something to prove to herself, in death, that she had saved herself :( I mean, Dean's faced this a lot, in season 3, in season 10 especially. But Claire is young and has only ever really known the swagger of being a hunter, tempered by mistakes and losses, but nothing that could set her back more than her drive to do it.

I think Kaia sees her as a real hero because of the way she saved her, because of the way she talks about her life, and seeing her as confronting that she wanted to die heroically, knowing that this is how Claire feels, that she's all in for being a swaggering hero if she could be...

Stuff like "get myself killed" and "sit back and let Jody handle it" remind us how young Claire is, and how Jody still fills a motherly role in protecting her. Though Claire is now presumably legally an adult with no more coming of age milestones or will be very soon (she must be coming up on 21 if her birthday is towards the end of a season) this is like the last hurdle to adulthood - learning to be responsible and for Jody to trust her with her own life, a struggle that goes both ways between them and sadly eats up Kaia in the learning of it >.>

"But Sam and Dean saved my life and I *can't* sit this one out" - Claire carries on talking and starts to talk herself into it. Kaia listening, sees where Claire's heart is, and though she has no love lost for Sam and Dean, sees what they mean to Claire - that at the very least she has them to thank for ever meeting Claire, who saved her life, so that passes on... And so she appeals to Claire's hero side, knowing it will be what Claire needs. And that for Claire she would do just about anything. She'd go with her into the Bad Place, if that is where Claire needed to go.

God I wish they had kissed at that moment :P The camera cuts away and we go to Jody and Donna's badass scene with the monsters.

"Ooofta."

Donna seeing something cosmically huge for the first time, and finding proof that hunting is not just the ghosts and vampires that come through the towns you look after, but sometimes on a scale unimaginable to the daily life of a sheriff...

Jody knows too but she also knows this is where she has to go so off she charges - And when Donna pulls her back she's still staring at the portal with a finality, and certaintly. And fear. Gosh she's good at this whole thing :'D

"I'm going in," she says, firmly, the next shot showing her less scared and more resolute. "If I don't, she will. Donna, I cannot lose another child." And then she turns and gives the spooked Donna that sad, almost farewell smile, because she doesn't know she can come back from this and I suppose she trusts Donna to be her back up here, to stop Claire going in after her, or to come with her and help...

Who knows because the monsters shake them out of it, and they have to check it out. Perhaps she was going to leave Jody behind but she just can't while while there are monsters there. Her instinct is not to rush in, and it's to protect everyone around her, and that ultimately saves her from rushing in and doing a Claire, and getting Donna killed.

But it still gets them to a dead end hiding in the car, without back up of all the girls.

(Wow all the Jody scenes are so powerful... Kim Rhodes just fills the screen all the time and I love her. An incredible amount.)

Mislabelling - Dean calls "Darth Dickwad" "he" when talking about the dinner bell which I think also some of the less well-inclined towards this episode peeps have taken as gospel truth, that the thing in the hood was some other creature, male the whole time until it revealed itself with Kaia's face like a shapeshifter, instead of just being her the whole time. (She's had boobs the whole time, it's not a good theory but if you want a man to be the only one strong enough to take out other men in a fight, sure :P)

But in meta terms, the label being wrong is a long long theme, and Dean misunderstanding the hooded figure's gender because he's making this assumption too or just isn't objectifying her figure where it's visible through the robes and just assuming that slim and strong means a small but very dangerous guy... Who knows :P He's not really had a good look at her.

It would be SO easy to write "she" and not think about this concept or have Jensen mis-say "she" knowing it's Yadi or a female double on set so the "He" has to be very deliberately said and written. That there is a meta point to Dean being wrong, and again with the labelling.

I like how Claire's like, "Patience, gimme your keys" - not can you drive us to this spot, but I wanna do some illegally fast stunt driving to get us there on time and this isn't a debate :P I guess just her being a leader in attitude as well.

I just love this badass set up of Jody and Donna in the car together, mirroring 11x04, but in a badass fight scene, while Sam and Dean took the pose to be a time to talk about feelings. Perfect.

Donna just says "alrighty then," not sentiments, and then the monsters start clambering on the car and they're shooting.

Jody's FACE when she sees the girls with the flamethrower.

Honestly the fact Claire took the flamethrower off... And no one picked it up??? Pfft.

Claire and Jody go through a silent exchange of their argument as Claire realises it's the portal, and bolts towards it, Jody chasing after her.

Patience and Alex standing there like... should we be doing something about this?? And the monsters???

"Oh hell," Jody says, seeing Claire has found the portal and is already sizing it up, getting ready to walk into it. And it's getting smaller, meaning that it's now or never. And there's no time for any more arguments about it. Claire saved her life and it's not like a weird barter system or anything but maybe she can trust Claire... it's almost like in the new star wars where Leia tells Poe off for always jumping in an x-wing and blowing things up without thinking but then when an emergency comes, the response is, yes jump in an x-wing and blow something up :P

That arc was more strongly focussed on his leadership but tbh Claire and Poe maybe share a personality type. She'd be one hell of a pilot.

ANYWAY Just avoiding talking about Jody having to let Claire go into the portal and saying "I know" and giving her that little wink, like, I love you but it's your life and I can't stop you, and maybe we need someone to swagger in like the big hero and just get it done, and I'm so incredibly proud that you have this instinct to do the big hero stuff...

... Ohhh this is all hurting soooo much because of how it ends :(

There's just so much power in Jody's looks, you can SEE how much she loves Claire and how much she doesn't want her to go but she knows she has to.

Broken up with Donna's "oh there he is! Hiya buddy!" because in the opening we see Donna's reaction to seeing a vampire for the first time of total horror, but now she's adapted, it's no different to growing up in a hunting culture in Minnesota... Sure the things are weirder, but it's cross-applicable skills :')

She may talk down to the monsters to make them seem less scary for the girls, but when there's tons, and she knows the odds, she doesn't make a grand stand, she tells the girls to run and covers their escape.

"Little help!?" she calls as casually as she can up the stairs, while probably Patience shrieks "HELP"

This distracts Jody from her moment with Claire is already looking to the portal again, resolved to go.

She looks to Jody for final approval and Jody does that amazing little nod and "Go" because to her they already resolved it and they're wasting time - or at least that's what she wants to convey to Claire while her eyes shine with tears and she watches with utterly restrained sadness and fear.

Claire nods, and looks over at Kaia, who just looks freaked out

Because she's agreed to go to The Bad Place, and oh boy that's all hitting home right now

"I'll protect you," Claire says, full of confidence that she can do this, and holding out her hand, and they Legend of Korra their way into the rift... But this is the beginning of a painful story, not the end of one, and so Claire leads and Kaia follows. The music kicks up a bit of intensity with a guitar riff as they take hands, and through they go.

On the other side, Claire immediately scopes out the portal to check they have a way back, while asking if Kaia is okay, in full hunter mode. Kaia grabs at Claire's arms to find her hand again, and pulls her towards the sound of the monsters, towards her nightmares, resolved to do this.

Meanwhile: some fun throwing around of furniture, Alex shooting like she's at a shooting range, Patience shrieking some more

Claire saves the boys. "My hero" Dean says, recognising the give and take of saving lives that they do in this industry. Owing one to Claure is something to process later but they're going to have to think of her as an adult and fellow hunter now.

She's a year off how old Sam was in season 1.

They sort of don't even question how Claire is here - she came with Kaia and they were vaguely local to Jody when it all went down and that's enough to bridge the gap at least for getting the hell out of here and assuming they're not hallucinating :P

Sam still has to ask about Jack, though. Of course. Kaia shrugs and says he must be at the other place because, well, he was trying to get there. And whether she can see it or not - if she has some impression from when she was screaming and melting all the angels or what...

Good enough for now, monster is coming :P

I LOVE DONNA REASSURING PATIENCE THAT SHE GOT THIS

"let's get to work"

Not "we've got work to do" but recognising they're already hard at it, recontextualising an iconic show line less to be about expectations of work later and more to just getting down and doing things :P

WHY DID THEY STOP FOR A LINE UP AT THE PORTAL JUST RUN THROUGH IT IT'S OKAY IT'S DEFINITELY THE RIGHT PORTAL

JUST GO FULL TILT INTO IT AND BE DONE WITH THE BAD PLACE

Kaia hearing Bad!Kaia coming - or sensing her. She has great reflexes to shove Claire out the way - or some connection to her Bad Place Self... And I wonder at what Bad!Kaia was trying to do - if she wanted to kill Claire, or if she knew Kaia would jump in front of the spear.

Anyway OW OH NO KAIA OH NO OH NO OH NO

This sucks but I'm taking it all on the chin on the absolute understanding that we're getting Kaia back if we get this show and the story hasn't even begun yet and that Kaia is going to be so utterly central to it this is only the beginning for her character and she's going to emerge like a beautiful butterfly from this lil set back, and no one stays permanently dead, especially not when they're introduced with a romance and then their evil double seemingly pops up before the end credits :P

Anyway in her last moments Kaia struggles to look at Claire, and grasps for her hand, squeezing it so tight she compresses Claire's fingers, and Claire is just stunned, whispering "Kaia" to round off how she first said her name at the beginning of the episode when she had no idea what it would mean to her in the next 24 hours.

Claire can hardly look away as Kaia dies, despite the sound of the approaching monster.

That's a big boy.

I wonder what Donna would say to him :P

Claire goes in a full snarling rage to attack the hooded figure, and is restrained and pulled back

Patience gets in a great shot which knocks back a single monster that was running straight at her, after a few hilariously bad shots

Her look of stunned horror is such a hilarious part of this episode. We need more newbie hunters who aren't just like, victim of the week or whatever, they're press-ganged into the life and it's like what the heeeell why am I dooooing this?? :P

Well I mean we could have a whole first season of her figuring it out XD everyone seems so gung-ho to be a hunter or get protected and stay back. She's not just a random civilian defending herself, she's literally grappling with if this is her life or not and all signs point to yes despite how horrifying she finds it :P

Aaaand they come back through the portal and it closes and Claire wails the most anguished "Noooooooooo!!"

And that's when Patience comes in with the others and realises Claire isn't even hurt - but a part of her just died

Jody silently asking Sam what happened - is Kaia okay? And he just shakes his head.

SILENT COMMUNICATION. Love it. Love that I still get an itty bitty fix of Jam in the middle of all this :P

Sam is still up for communicating with Jody - Dean's just looking on in sympathetic sadness to what Claire is going through.

The back and forth between Claire in agony and Kaia lying dead on the ground just drives home what Patience is realising - that she misread everything and it was Claire in mourning and Kaia's death that she saw, but the details not giving her enough context to realise it wasn't what it seemed.

And, yeah, Jody holding Claire like Claire held Amelia when she died - ouchies :(

But Jody soothing Claire... oh my heart. Jody has gone through about 1000 different emotions this episode and it's been AMAZING. If anyone thinks the girls can't act then Jody would still carry it for them.

Sam and Dean respectfully wearing black as the girls get on with cleaning up the house. Blah blah people covered Dean saying "i" and Sam pointing out how shut down Claire was as a parallel to how Dean was at the start of this season - so much about grief and loss this year, again.

Jody's got a lot of mixed blessings - Claire is back but broken, her house is smashed up but she has a lot of new hands to help her fix it. And they saved Sam n Dean but there may still be a whole bunch of monsters around town for them to deal with.

What a great sentiment to define this show's place in the mythos: "We will handle it. C'mon, you guys take care of the world! We got Sioux Falls covered." Showing they have a place, respecting Sam n Dean's importance to the greater narrative, but also defining the show as having no huge mytharc because you can't compete with Sam n Dean on the cosmic level, but you can have a personal level mytharc - something like Bad Place Kaia and the emotional drama that would bring - to still have high stakes and high personal meaning for it all... And we're invested in all these characters, the ones we've known forever because we've known them forever and seen them grow into this, the new ones because of their potential and what they will bring to the dynamics of the show...

And Sam and Dean love Jody so much and she waves goodbye to them and sends them back to the main story, and sighs and goes to see how Claire is doing.

Still crying in her/Patience's room (they need to settle that :P)

"You were right," she says because this whole episode was stacked against her over-confidence, to bring her down to have a more careful approach to hunting, to sadly learn a lesson that was building all the time we knew her as an aspiring hunter. Carelessness is an interesting flaw, and over-confidence, and I don't want to see them disappear from Claire - and judging by the end monologue they haven't, she's just reapplying them and learning to be a little less hasty, a little more reliant on teamwork... But yeah, I think Claire is an interesting mess, and she's so young and started so young on the show we've seen every single one of her traumas collect together to make who she is.

(And Kaia is owed like a billion times the character development off of Claire's pain if they get the show so that she can have it paid back for dying like this for Claire's >.>)

"I said I'd protect her," she says, her voice breaking and a tear coming out of her eye - c'mon, people really think Kathryn can't act? She's breaking my heart :P Bringing it back to Kaia and that's when it makes Claire cry, to think of her promise to Kaia, that Kaia took the stray bullet for her (... and the spin off had better subvert the heck out of that trope >.>) and Claire failed to protect her like she'd thought she could.

Having had someone to protect - and losing someone - makes her finally understand Jody, and she mentions the feeling of losing someone you can't protect, that you felt that much love for whether it's a kid or your first crush that really seemed like it might be something real and good for you...

And I mentioned riiight at the top, that Claire never got the speech from Jody that she gave Alex and Patience, because we saw Claire being sent off to Jody without hearing Jody make her any promises. So it's like, Jody finally has an in to reach out to Claire and for Claire to listen, the equivalent of the end of 9x19 or 13x03 for Alex and Patience. "You don't have to do this alone" - which is also the message of the show, that they're a family, that they're not alone when all the family work together.

"When you're ready, if you want, we're all here for you." And that's Jody's final invitation for Claire to stay for real.

One last humour beat with Donna, Alex and Patience, who are definitely going to be the most fun characters in any combination or all of those 3 :D

Alex giving her a "Welcome to the family" is a lighter version of the heartfelt stuff Jody just said to Claire - extending an invitation to the newbie to the dynamic that she's passed their bonding ritual of fighting side by side and she's no longer just an awkward house guest, but one of them.

Jody comes in and stops to survey them, perhaps giving an uncertain verdict on if they're keeping Claire.

Maybe just to ask them what takeout they want. She probably told them she was gonna go talk to Claire, though, so they're all wondering about her.

Claire continues her hunter journal, now writing from the heart, starting a new page of her life.

Coming downstairs to join the family.

there's 4 chairs that survived the attack on the house - which the established family (Alex, Jody, Patience and Donna) are sitting in, and a folding chair set out for Claire if she wants it, and a different coloured plate (actually, Patience, the other newbie to the settled family dynamic in Sioux Falls since Claire left, has a green plate too, but a real chair). And the 6th chair is just gone. Kaia is not currently a part of this family set up, but the space remains for her.

Claire monologues basically stuff to that effect - she's staying because they're going to get strong, and fight her chosen battle. She thinks. She mentions "family" "army" and "need" which in the SPN language has a lot of mixed connotations - family is good, army is a bit uncertain about if you're using them for the right reasons, and "need" has a lot of back and forth about if it's good or bad, to use people or to be incomplete without them, for good or bad. In this context it all for now comes across as a very positive message of unity and strength between them all, but idk if it's healthy long-term for Claire based on the critique to these words in the main show, or if she's escaping to a world governed by Jody's heart, where these things might be less dramatic and painful :P

"They think I'm staying because I'm broken" I guess it's pretty open among them all how wrecked Claire is about Kaia - they all know there was something special or that something about it hit Claire very hard and maybe they can think it was losing someone she swore to protect in battle, especially sacrificing herself for Claire, or maybe one or the other of them has gleaned how Claire's heart was broken too.

I love the last glad look Jody gives Claire, happy to see she's come down to join them. The others are chatting without particularly directed eye contact as they pass around the food as a symbolic thing of unity.

"The thing that killed Kaia is still out there" she says as we see the now familiar opening of a portal.

"I don't care if I have to tear another hole in the universe" - I think this phrasing is particularly ominous given season 13 as a whole with the AU hopping and Billie's warning about AU hopping as knocking over the whole cosmic house of cards. Even without what happens in this show, in the main show we still have Jack in the AU with Mary, and some drama with Michael sure to still unfold. And I'm really starting to worry that this is all still a red herring for the real problems, caused by universe hopping. The phrase "tear another hole" is so violent, and she's got Winchester determination to do it at any cost which is reflecting back on them, not just in general but even just last episode they were at an any costs struggle to get to Mary including tearing holes in the universe when they were told not to.

And finally the dramatic irony - Claire looks into the camera and says "we're going to find it and I'm going to kill it" and "it" pulls back the hood to reveal she's been Bad Place Kaia all along, and now she's here with an agenda...

Which goes with, as I was saying earlier, all the dramatic irony through all of season 13 about alternate universes and not knowing the state of things, misinterpretations, mislabelling and generally getting things very very wrong, when we know better. We are allowed to see there's still hope for Kaia in the long run and that Claire's mission is so VERY much more complicated than she thinks it is. One thing is certain - she is NOT going to accomplish this goal and we know it as soon as Bad!Kaia pulls back her hood :P

NOW GIVE US THIS SHOW SO WE CAN SEE WHAT HAPPENS NEEEEXT

#13x10 #season 13 spoilers #my stuff #whoops :p #at least this way we have hindsight commentary on everything #no wild guessing fun though :P

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desnayy · 7 years

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I finally finished the template for my limeblood. Well, there are some things that are unfinished, but that’s because there’s nothing to but on those parts just yet. I’m going to put the info below this under a readmore as I’m on a computer for once.

Basics

Name: Seshat Lepori

Pronunciation: Sesh-hat Le-pori

Namesake: Seshat is an Egyptian goddess of knowledge and wisdom. Lepori is shortened from leporidae, the family rabbits are in.

Trolltag: bookishCuniculus (BC)

Tag Explanation: Bookish means devoted to reading and studying rather than worldly interests. Cuniculus means a small conduit or burrow, as an underground drain or rabbit hole.

Age: 8 sweeps (6 sweeps if in canon)

Wriggling Day: May 28th

Gender: Female

Blood: Lime (#658200)

Symbol: Lepus (image accompanying chapter)

Height: 5'

Build: Lithe, almost childlike

Appearance: Seshat has the average gray skin and black hair as most other trolls. She has shoulder length hair and her eyes are slightly filled in with her blood color (unless in canon, than her eyes have the plain dark gray irises of young trolls). Her horns look a bit like short rabbit ears with rounded edges. She wears a black long sleeve with her symbol on the front in lime, dark lime capris, and black boots with lime laces. Whenever she reads, she wears a pair of frameless oval glasses.

Theme: Books and rabbits

Specibus: mirrorkind (Originally equipped with a shard of a broken mirror, but equipped late game with a knife that has a sharp mirror blade)

Power: Strong telekinesis

Fetch Modus: Book Modus (Every item you've ever captchalogued with the modus receives a page in a book provided by the modus.The book itself can be captchalogued, which is probably a good idea if it's getting more on the thick side. To uncaptchalogue something, just go to the item page and say the item name out loud. There is pretty much an unlimited amount of items that can be put in this modus, though it's recommended to keep the amount small so the book doesn't get too thick.)

Hive: An underground hive almost like a rabbit warren, with many rooms and tunnels, and completely full of books, both in bookshelves and on any other available surface, including the floor and the staircase leading to the hive entrance. The entrance is hidden among the roots of a large tree in a forest of large trees; almost impossible to find unless Seshat or her lusus lead the way. Seshat's respiteblock is actually one of the most book filled room, with her recuperacoon tucked into a corner and large piles of books around the rest of the room as well bookshelves. There is a mini library that is the second most book filled room that has a desk with her computer on it somewhere near the back and a maze of bookshelves. It can be a bit difficult to navigate the hive without knocking over any book stacks. By the entrance on the upper floor is a room with a nestbed for Hopmom. Under the staircase is a small hidden sitting area with a pile of pillows to lay or sit on and stacks of books around the pile, which can also be used any possible jam sessions with a future moirail.

Personality

Seshat is empathetic, sincere, and warm-hearted. She is friendly, generous, and self-sacrificing, but can also be sentimental, flattering, and people-pleasing. She is well-meaning and driven to be close to others, but can slip into doing things for others in order to be needed. She typically has problems with acknowledging her own needs and accidentally isolating herself. Though she is quite friendly, Seshat seems to enjoy more time being on her own with her many books rather than around others.

Interests: Books, small spaces, the idea of the one true matesprit, day-daydreaming, peace and quiet, tea

Dislikes: Surprises, loud noises, large or threatening individuals, mistreatment of books, coffee, large open spaces

Fears: Pyrophobia (fear of fire), the inevitability of becoming a slave, being abandoned

Strengths: Random bits of knowledge of most things, rather good at jumping

Weaknesses: Often runs from conflict, distracted due to day-dreaming constantly

Odd Habits: Somehow gets into small hidden spaces that others either can't find or get into

Self-Esteem: Actually has pretty high self-esteem

Perception: Optimistic dreamer

Hemoloyalty: Seshat is extremely loyal to the Hemospectrum, as that way is less likely to lead to being culled. Often nervous around highbloods.

Quirk

Capitalization: Normal and names of others and places

Punctuation: Ends of sentences

Prefix/Suffix: [Sentence.]

Replacements: H with |-|, at with @, and with &, I/i with !

Emotes: ^×^ when happy, °×° when shocked or scared, ;×; when sad, >×< when mad, ^///^ when embarrassed or flustered

Laughter: Heehee

Emphasis: N/A

Nicknames For Others: Usually last names unless she's friends with the person, then first names. Uses custom nicknames for any quadrant mates.

Other: Occasionally makes rabbit puns and quotes/references books

Game Related

Title: Maid of Light

Planet: Land of Books and Stars (A land completely covered with bookshelves with lanterns dotted around and little consort villages where the buildings are made of books. It is eternal night in this land, only the stars are barely lit because of the denizen. There is no moon.)

Quest: Find the book that has the info for how to brighten the stars

Moon: Prospit

Kernelsprite Prototypes: Hopmom + ??? = Hopsprite

Consorts: Light green coatis

Totem Creature: Fireflies

Cruxite Artifact: A dusty book (clean it off)

Associated Item: Moonstone

Denizen: Astraeus

Client: TBA whenever I come up with other characters

Server: ^^^

Exile: Creative Drifter ( She uses a feather in her hood to draw on anything that doesn't have a picture of some kind already on it)

Relationships

Romantic & Sexual Orientation: Demisexual demiromantic

Lusus: A medium sized rabbit with four sets of legs (Hopmom)

Lusus Relationship: Hopmom is basically her best friend. Seshat loves her and cares about her more than she cares about any troll including her friends and future quadrant mates. Seshat was devastated when Hopmom died but was happy when the kernelsprite brought her back as a sprite.

Ancestor: The Scrivener (A limeblood slave under the ownership of a purple blood, who was a forced scribe for the purple blood religion)

Dancestor: Nidaba Lepori

Beforan self: The Bibliophile (A limeblood who had a mass collection of books, nearly rivaling that of the Imperial Library)

Quadrants: TBA whenever I come up with other characters (in canon, she has a red crush on Equius, and a small pale crush on Eridan)

Close Friends

^^^ (in canon, likes to think she's friends with everyone)

Platonic Enemies

^^^ (in canon, doesn't really notice any negative emotions to anyone)

Music

Piano Aquieu by Stars of the Lid (land theme)

The Daughters of Quiet Minds by Stars of the Lid (theme song 1)

Lullaby by Snail's House (God Tier ascension song)

Everything's Alright cover by Adriana Figueroa (theme song 2)

Trivia

Basically the living embodiment of the 'The Bibliomaniac' tag on museinspo

Often makes herself as small as possible when in the presence of high bloods

Does her best to be lawful as possible, as she doesn't want to be culled or forced into slavery early

Spent most of her early life either reading or practicing her telekinesis, and has very good control over it

Quotes

BC : [!n truth, !'m a b!t hoppy Altern!a was destroyed. Ma!nly because now ! don't have to worry about becom!ng a slave!]

"Well, I know we have only known each other a short time, but I like to think you are my friend."

)(So, this character is set in an alternate version of canon Alternia where the limebloods aren’t hunted down, and instead are constantly monitored throughout their lives. Upon reaching maturity [about 10 or 11 sweeps], they’ll be taken away from their lusus and quadrant mates to be bought as slaves by the highbloods. Character template from peppertrolls.)(

#homestuck #fantroll #long post

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latesthollywoodnews · 6 years

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Ariana Grande & Troye Sivan’s ‘Dance to This’ Collab Is SO Sexy

Jeremy Brown - Latest News - My Hollywood News

Ariana Grande & Troye Sivan’s ‘Dance to This’ Collab Is SO Sexy, List Of 2015 Hollywood Films.

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I know what you’re thinking. The engagement. The ring. The perfume. And now the song?! There’s so much to live for today. Troy Sivan and Ariana soon-to-be-married Grande had been teasing lyrics to their song on their social media until finally today on this day of this year the two singers dropped their single and yall, it is so hot. In fact, too hot. Like I don’t think you can dance to this song because it goes a level beyond dancing. I mean, check out the lyrics: QUOTE Say we’ll go slow, but we never do/ Premonition, see me spending every night with you/ Oh, under the kitchen lights, still look like dynamite/ and I wanna end up on you/ Don’t need a place to go, just put on the radio/ you know what I wanna do.” Yeah. I do know. You’ve made it very clear in this song, which btw is already blowing up the Twitterverse. One fan wrote, “ive been playing #DanceToThis a hundred times already. i love two queens saving pop culture music.”

Don’t we all? Sweet potato wrote “this is actually really good. I didn’t expect.”

And yet another fan tweeted, “I’m obsessed. This is so good. WTF.”

Whatever happened to periods? Punctuation is golden, people. Run on sentences are NOT. Anyway, the song is definitely a bop. Wouldn’t you say? Both Troye and Ari are dropping their upcoming albums in August. His, called ‘Bloom’ is his second studio album while ‘Sweetener’ Ariana’s album is her 4th. Now have you heard the song? How many times? If you have not… WHY? What are you doing in 5 minutes? Anything other than listening to this song is the wrong answer. You can listen while you clean. While you poop. While you perform surgery. While you shower. While you dance. While you ever things. Let me know below your thoughts on this catchy single and then listen to the song while you drop me a line on my latest Instagram post. Because even YouTubers need validation. Then click here for the very best, worst and most hilarious fan reactions to the Ariana / Pete Davidson engagement announcement. I’m your friend from the internet Miriam Isa. I wish you lots of happiness in the real world. See you guys soon!

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laurellgem-blog · 7 years

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When StubHub loses your Kendrick Lamar tickets... it's for the best

I love going to concerts, but I have strong feelings about paying hundreds of dollars only to watch a favorite artist on a jumbo screen, and to give you a hint, they aren’t positive ones. Frankly, I figure I’d have better sound and visual quality watching that type of thing from home, so my general rule has been that if the actual size of the performer will amount to a single pixel in my field of vision (or a conglomeration of pixels on a screen), it’s a no-go.

I could proselytize on the incredible talent, soul, and artistry that is Kendrick Lamar, but I won’t. Suffice it to say I bought a single ticket in the nosebleeds to see the Tacoma/Seattle show of Kendrick’s DAMN. tour on August 1st, featuring Travis Scott and D.R.A.M. If that doesn’t tell you who I’m Loyal too, then I don’t know what does.

As I shuffle through the metal detector line outside of the Tacoma Dome, the crowd complains that traffic and accidents made us miss D.R.A.M. and most of Travis, to which someone beside me (who apparently does not share my mega-concert aversion) adds that Travis Scott is a better performer than Kendrick anyway. Having just spent my rent money to see Kendrick (at a mega-arena, no less) I strongly protest, to which he nonchalantly says “No he is. Travis is on a bird right now”.

Um, ok?

Fifteen minutes later an animatronic bird of prey charioting a harnessed, blinged-out Travis Scott is hovering just feet away from my slack-jawed face. Oh wow, that dude was serious. As the music blasting through the speakers competes with the feverish screams of an entire arena, sending visceral pulses of energy through my body, my single thought is, “How did I get here?” That’s a great question, actually, because didn’t I just say I bought nosebleed seats? Let’s back up. After weeks of entering sweepstakes and radio concerts in a vain attempt to win prime Kendrick tix, I spent $220 just to be in the same arena as K-Dot. The night before the concert date, however, StubHub emailed me saying that my tickets were no longer available (cue heart sinking to floor), but not to worry, they think they found tickets I’ll like even more.

Understatement. Of. The. Year.

When I enter from the balcony, I immediately scope out the floor of the stadium. I am still disbelieving that the hazy, undulating press of bodies next to the stage will be where I sit—or rather, stand. There would be no sitting. Approaching the usher guarding the entry into my section, I am reluctant to even let the ticket out of my white-knuckled clutches; its existence contains redemption for an entire life of never-winning-anything disappointment. She looks at me dubiously before scanning the ticket, then escorts me all the way to my seat. Each step is an exhalation of awe that we haven’t stopped yet, that we keep getting closer and closer until suddenly she is pushing back a gaggle of rapt high school kids who had unknowingly migrated into the realm of my aisle seat. Yes. Aisle seat. That aisle is the only thing between me and the projecting stage diagonal to me, which also serves to guarantee that not a soul can get in front me.

Meanwhile, Travis Scott is on a bird and the crowd is LIT. To my left is the likely singer of a screamo band. She is so belligerent that I conclude she is definitely “on one”. Or two. Best guess: MDMA with a side of bath salts. And, while I am vaguely afraid this aggressive short chick will eat my face, I silently applaud the absence of Effs she gives and am inspired. Bitch don’t kill my vibe and I won’t kill yours.

The concert-enthusiast wasn’t wrong about Travis. He clearly understands performance and the power of spectacle, as any mega-show must, and he commands all of our attention. Travis signals for us to put two arms in the air from his lofty stage and then he motions that we should bounce them to the beat. Full disclosure, this is my first rap concert, and apparently they posses their own unspoken etiquette. I have a background in choreographed hip-hop, so I don’t do half-assed dance moves. I’m starting to really get into it… until I realize that no one else is on my level—not even the bath-salts-girl. Apparently this motion is universally understood in the rap community to be a casual up-and-down; it looks nothing like the jagged crumping I was doing. My bad.

No worries, I don’t flatter myself that anyone is focused on anything but the stage—that is until intermission.

The lights turn on and a broad swath of fabric titled “DAMN.”cloaks the stage. Amidst a surplus of anticipation and a vacuum of stimuli, my neighbors and I transform into a crowd of possessed Furbies. We swivel our necks at odd angles to assess our surroundings; I am fascinated by what I observe.

On the center left (my section) stand a crowd of young people who look like they saved up two paychecks working at Jamba Juice and Forever 21 in order to afford tonight. A mélange of older people, beautiful people, and their beautiful children occupy the center front section. They look like they have one thing in common: connections. My row eyeballs me like they’re wondering why my single-aisle-seat, mid-to-late twenties, industry-girl ass isn’t sitting with all the other schmucks in the center who only know “HUMBLE.” and can’t possibly tolerate the $800+ noise someone paid for them to hear without earplugs. I glance right and a girl already wearing earplugs is passing out the brightly colored status symbols like cocaine at a Hampton’s party. Great, now I’m self-conscious that I look like them…I had hurriedly exchanged my scrubs for something rap-concert-appropriate in a gas station on the way down to Tacoma, but I think I erred on the Boujee end of the “Bad and Boujee” spectrum.

I, however, am not about to be caught dead with earplugs, and my evil side secretly hopes Kendrick calls out their half-hearted participation like he did to this VIP section in Montreal.

Suddenly, the room goes dark and a short-film begins to play on the jumbotron. Punctuating the night’s performance, these mock-serious flicks gradually establish Kung-Fu Kenny’s (Kendrick’s alt. persona) directive to find the Glow “where the black is darkest”. The first short blinks out and the suspense becomes palpable in the dim arena. I am basking in the surreal knowledge that Kendrick is about to be five feet in front of me when a massive bang and several jets of fire burst from the stage. After returning to the skin I had momentarily jumped out of, my eyes alight on a crouched Kendrick ascending through a cloud of smoke. Needless to say, the crowd goes wild and I forget how to breathe.

Now THAT is how you go digital to physical on all ya’ll, ay? We were warned.

As the first refrains of the track play I lose it. It’s “DNA.”, my favorite song off the entire DAMN. Album (2017). Kendrick makes his way out to the projecting stage where he performs most of the righteously angry single. Is my face melting? I don’t care. Kendrick then migrates upstage for the rapid-fire verse of “DNA,” where he gets busy spitting bars while simultaneously dodging katas from an actual ninja. Kendrick keeps the energy high by seamlessly transitioning to “ELEMENT,” another popular track from DAMN.

In keeping with the tour’s namesake, Kendrick primarily showcases songs off his latest album, but he also sends the crowd into convulsions by throwing it back to albums like To Pimp a Butterfly (2015) and untitled unmastered. (2016). When he performs one of the title tracks off good kid, m.A.A.d. city (2012), I could die happy.

I have gone to many a concert, sang and danced along like no one was watching, but this is an entirely different experience. The one person that actually has the vantage to see me IS Kendrick Lamar, and I am so glad I know the words because I’m pretty sure I will probably turn to stone if he catches me slippin’. One song I only half-know, and it transports me back to that one time at Watershed I snuck to the front, touched Tim McGraw’s hand, faux-sang lyrics I did not know and proceeded to look like a gaping fish out of water.

At Kendrick’s show you genuinely get the sense that he is watching you, feeding off your participation. In an unforgettable moment, Kendrick cuts the music during “HUMBLE.” and extends the mic to his audience. We spout out every word to the verse and he appears thoroughly, well… humbled. He even makes an effort to include the cheaper seats by transitioning to a central B- stage where he slows the tempo down to perform “FEEL.” and “LUST” from a light strewn cell.

Similar to Kendrick’s dynamic vocals, his performance lives on a broad spectrum that ranges from subdued to emotional to belligerent. He uses each tone strategically to achieve a masterful performance. The sheer technicality of a mega-concert like this handicaps his capacity for improvisation (which some may have enjoyed at other Kendrick concerts). Regardless, he is anything but mechanical; sweat coats his face, he occasionally loses breath and every motion he makes is electrified with intent. Sure, there is the occasional pyrotechnics and he does perform part of “PRIDE.” frozen sideways in mid-air, but Kendrick Lamar relies less on gimmicks and more on his sheer charisma and musical genius to captivate the room. Should we even be surprised? Kung-Fu Kenny is a virtuoso of his craft.

#kendrick #kendrick lamar #DAMN.#damn. tour #k-dot #kung-fu kenny #goat #concert #rap #tacomadome #seattle #stubhub

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autoirishlitdiscourses · 7 years

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Discourse of Sunday, 23 July 2017

That's OK. However, only a suggestion for this to be alive; you delivered a sensitive, thoughtful, engaged delivery, very few students this quarter.

I suspect is probably an unreasonable limitation, then, I feel bad that it's a good decision to pick up a critique of the episode's title, date, then there needs to to grow into something fully successful approach to this, and none of the play with which the course syllabus that reciting twelve lines, but it can also break into how the opening paragraphs create a separate final for you, I guess. To agree with me or with the switch function in GOLD you should definitely be there on time or manage to engage in a room tomorrow in SH 1415.

But you really make it pay off in setting up a discussion leader is worth/five percent/for being a good student again for doing an even clearer expression of your recitation. You also demonstrated that he might call on your own shortcomings and that although I will respond to each section and four openings in my margin notes because your writing is quite enjoyable to read and interpret as a whole. All in all, you've been weaving or near the end of the text s that you're talking? You do a wonderful delivery. I feel that you want to try harder on future pieces of writing in a close reading to me by to accept the offer, OK? I think that the useless incompetent morons who pass as campus technicians decided to push your readings of the class's level of familiarity with the Disabled Students Program. Hi! We Lost 5 p. Without going back through the tabs. 4 to 5%, not writing a personal experience as a bridge to a more explicit invitations would have helped at the appropriate time if you get no credit for turning it in then. Which texts I have been underrepresented in the first-out order. I've pointed to some questions in section Wednesday night with details about the ways that this is, well done overall. We feel in England that we didn't get any positive feedback and a talented scholar the handout linked above was prepared for the rest of the same deal to their historical context. Truthfully, I think. Or you might connect it with people, and I quite liked it.

And so I assume, but you're certainly capable of doing, and the way that they are or are we getting Gertie's thoughts directly? Etc. Fair warning: getting an F on his plagiarized paper. You should turn into a Fish. He missed the professor's miss three sections, but getting the group. Ultimately, you did at the same as totalitarianism, though not easy deal for improving your grade and because it was written close to convenient and painless as possible.

She was doing poorly and taking time to get you feedback on this you connected it effectively to larger-scale themes to specific passages that you can email me the new recitation could improve your total points for section on the section Twitter stream including links to articles and other course text that's difficult to read from Butcher Boy. Can you confirm she was off; dropping warm from Out in th' park in th' park in th' park in th' shade of a letter grade. Smooth, thoughtful performance that was helpful rather than fiction or poetry. Of course! There were four errors in my earlier email. In fact, more specifically here talking about the way of discussion and were so effective working together that you want to treat each individual Irish person is reacting?

All of which has been read as a whole. Perfect, and the section guidelines handout; note that I say this not just two points of comparison that you problematize or otherwise incorrect about them with you, OK? Anyway, my point is that you shouldn't use them both to talk about what your paper around exploring that payoff. I know from section that night. One By the way that shows you paid close attention to the beginning, though not the only way that you are. I think that your recitation at the time period and you took. Let me know and I'll see you at C.

I generally post section discussion outline, and sometimes virtuosic. He also demonstrated that you will pick up a structure that you're using an edition other than that they should not lift people into good/evil categories. Check your U-Mail account! Just a reminder that you're dealing with O'Casey's own sense of your discussion, depending on where you want the experience to be caught up on posting links to songs and other works, OK? You could then use your own motivations and how you're balancing your time and get people to specific textual evidence that you'd put a printed copy of the landscape, Beckett may also benefit from and to think about what you mean by history, too. I feel that it's the first and non-passing grade for the midterm improved their score between 105 and 118 on the web I'm pretty sure it's too late in the Ulysses lectures which, given Ulysses, and that there is a strong paper, and then don't follow through in enough depth in your phrasing here will help your grade: B—You have some very intriguing suggestions that I can just post what you've outlined a series of unsubstantiated claims would help you to achieve goals that are not major, it's insightful—but that one thing that might be said about presentations of Irish emigrants and/or recall problems.

Thank you for a job and knee surgery. There are a very good idea, it never really rises far above the minimum time frame and discussion of the question? But it's entirely up to you. That is, they tend, in fact, you in revising and sharpening your paper as a hard skill to develop an even more than 100% of the Troubles, as a mother who is a profoundly and pervasively inappropriate response to some punctuation and grammar and phrasing but these are impressive moves here. All of which I think. But you really have produced are of course a novel are always a productive logical path can be found below if you're feeling better. Got big then.

An A paper is graded by then, but it would have needed to happen at all who says you got up in front of a topic. My Way Reminder: section is in Ulysses and other students, and have more data, but part of the poem while responding to your discussion notes by the date indicated on the degree to which you want to tell us we exist, because yes/no questions rarely generate much in the poem he is currently better developed and more general overviews, like I said, graceful. On a literary topic; you should shoot for ten minutes if you're talking about the stare, but you were nervous and a good job of contextualizing the paper itself.

Thanks again, we could meet on Sunday afternoon, we can meet you last night looking back over. 1:00, in turn, based on knowledge that you need to do to be sure. I daresay from line 648; changed of to and in line 22. Beyond that, going into the specific nature of your group makes it impossible to say is that future readers and got a thoughtful rendition of the quarter have been, both of us if they don't come off that way versus having an couple of quick things. 5%, what I'd like to dispute it, your primary concern is preparing for your audio/visual text, though. Which is to say that I will do when you're not in any way on this. You also did some very interesting ideas about what your paper, if necessary. Well done overall. They should also go to, and haven't quite punched through to a copy of the grotesque body worthwhile to show my hand in this context in a B on your way to get me a description of your literary sources—I think that student lists from eGrades didn't have the students' class level in them you kicked it up, but in your paper in my office after getting a very strong job! So I think that thinking specifically about your future writing—you've done quite a bit to get back to you.

On section one. He was also helpful in any case, one thing to do quite like the selection. There are other symbolic associations, as you know that you can reschedule you for being such a good sense of the more productive way. Separation. Think of Stephen and Haines's it seems that it would have paid off, because your first one sirens is currently fine, but have held off on making sure that you can get the breathless exhausted happy quality of the reasons why my grading rubric some language might change a bit more impassioned which may differ in some places.

Unless you have questions about it. By extension from the Butcher Boy if you want to see just a moment. You were clearly a bit abstract, through a number of places that you want to,, and we can talk about. Think about what you mean by them, supplement them, I'm only about halfway through grading part one for all of your head as you read attentively, that examining the text control the conversation was lazy. Oct 30. That all sounds good to me during my office door was open and that her suicide occurs when Francie runs away, which is just an issue of hasty writing and/or complex discussions about course material, and you might connect it to. Receiving a D-range paper. I decide. I'm just trying to satisfy the requirement at this point in smaller steps this would be helpful in any case, I'd suspect that forcing yourself to find a twelve-line chunk; pick a text that satisfies you and to motivate people to speak can be hard to get back to some extent in some ways. Remember that the syllabus says that you have to have to do so just for the main character. Promising two days to email me a copy of the text of the novel, or very very close attention to the beach is unusual for her youthful desire with a difficult selection to memorize because of a group is not just talking about why a specific, complex set of questions that you check your delivery; you also missed the professor's reading is the only likely area of expertise, one productive pathway to take a look at Martin Esslin's The Theatre of the points total for the class as a whole took a bit under the weather and have so many in line 22. /For being a good move, which is possibly the least of these as a whole has a particular idea. Take a look at them, but the basic idea is sound and may not fully resolve all of the passage and gave a strong job! So, ultimately, what does it really mean to imply that there are potentially benefits to both. Let me know if you happen to have a lot of good material in an in-depth look at the front of the text s you want to recite and discuss can be found online at or, equivalently, at least one email from me. To put it another way: my intent is to say that women don't have to worry about whether you're technically meeting the discussion as a whole, though.

However, any your grade as if time passes differently when you're not willing to make out of time and perhaps other poems; Jack Clitheroe's treatment of his relationship with his own experience as a whole evinces, is not to claim that it's not out there. There are a number of things well here, I think that correcting this would be to pick up a framework for a job well done! All of the poem itself contains some hesitations and corrections, but ID #3 overlaps substantially with ID #9 from the Internet seems like a viable option. Well done on this assignment. All of these would have to drop into the topics that each of these are of course, this may result in further disciplinary action even if you want any changes made I will let the group is not in your paper around that, when what your priorities are if you prefer. /Administrative issues? There are a number of questions or concerns about university policies on equal access to a question that you want the TAs to have a five-minute and two-hour exam, you must at least eight sections. Your third option is to take so long to get a B and I think everything looks good. There were a couple of suggestions that I define what each grade is OK. You dropped Stephen said on 1. I have never yet had much of the specific selection that you do, or you are performing—for instance, and that not taking the course, Anglo-Irish Literature, fall back to you and me assess how much work it can feel like an overview of the definitions of romance that you won't have time to meet or exceed the bare minimum length for a moment. We discussed stereotypes of Irish culture is having about what kind of a selection from closing dialogue with Old Mahon 6 p.

Well done on this write-ups that people said in some important things to say, and you touched on some important things to say: Don't forget to bring up, I think that what you plan to recite, and well-written in a paper of this, but getting an F on the final starts and nine a. You've done a number of first-in, so I'm not saying that he was delaying the release of the quarter, and you really mop the floor with the text instead of responding verbally. You had an A this quarter although I do not calculate participation until the end, and what you see in common between the various elements that you're developing. To put it another way, I realize that it's difficult to stop moving long enough to land before making a clear and effective manner—I personally don't think those criteria really apply here. Thank you again for doing such an excellent job of reading the poem and gave what was overall an excellent quarter! So do you take on a paper of eight full pages/. Let me know what freedom was; remember that you will receive a passing grade but make sure that I think that one thing is a minor inconvenience. I do quite like your writing, in turn, would have been structuring your argument more, though, that your texts in the front of the poem I've heard, and these are impressive moves. Mentioned several times in lecture 15 Oct: The Search for the reminder email in just a hair's breadth away from email more or less a series of unsubstantiated claims would pay off fully, and is/your/my/the section as the being taken care of by email except to respond to everyone's first proposal before I leave town. So what I'm really saying here is going to be due to nervousness and/or need to indicate the sources of the show is that one thing that I think that one thing that I have to ask me any questions, please let me know if you go out of material to produce a video recording as one day late is slightly smaller than the other TA, You have a portrayal of home that resonates with you about the poem he is going to be more specific claim of what handicaps they may set you up for the reader that its structure was articulated more explicitly and say exactly what you see as important. Preparing for and serving as a way that you are perhaps overemphasizing the strength of the better ways to think meta-critically about your paper, is very low. More importantly, though, you can do to do so, how does the show is that you may have noticed this, and this weekend has just been so far a very very good sense of the text in question.

That what I hope you had a lot of reasons, too is it necessarily as bad as it often is so very good work here, overall, and why that connection as a forum for substantial discussions about money more comprehensible.

I forgot to say that supporting scholarship is inappropriate or wrong, but I don't know that he should let me know if you start making regular substantial contributions in section. I'm pretty sure that you're working with: what I mean, specifically? Thanks! I tend to have gone through it, and I think, would be to resolve the primary reasons why people feel into that range that you'll do very well not be able to pick up his midterm; is the last section on 27 November, you may want to set up an analysis. I think, but you were doing last time you get up to the top five or six participators, write an A, in lecture Thanks for working so hard this quarter. You moved quickly but still covered a lot of ways, and more than one more section or sent to me but I remember correctly that you are one of the recitation into a sophisticated move. Have a safe and happy Thanksgiving! —You've got a lot of important ways, interrogating your own original work; any non-attenders to make sure that you may want to say about why the IRA's treatment of his lecture pace rather than the rules is generally taken to mean that you had thought about the way that shows you paid close attention to your secondary sources without letting them take over your own understanding of the other recitations that happened after yours. Make sure that I really did intend to do recitations this week, constantly had thoughtful and nuanced interpretation—I've pointed to some extent in their historical context is likely to give a fair amount of good advice and I'll see you in section, but those women who don't participate in it.

#Irish literature #automatically generated text #Patrick Mooney #Python #Markov chains

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seafoam-blue · 7 years

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The Star by wuyifan95, deedee_zelo90 & alyssa_1998

Story link.

Story Title: 6/10

The story has fourteen chapters and I asked myself if I actually had time to read it. I find the title quite cute, if I say so myself. Yet, I can't seem to see the relevance it has to your story plot. I can sense a little connection but it's not a huge part of the whole story. A title needs to be effective to an extent it does accurately portray the message and plot of the story. A title also needs to be able to portray the story plot well without giving away too much. Your title, in my opinion, is vague in a good way but I can't seem to understand it and I'm really sorry.

Appearance wise I have to say it is quite mediocre, the title isn't a turn-off but it isn't really a hook either. It’s a bit on the plain side, and it sounds like something that many people would use. Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you get your title from EXO's The Star? I kinda guessed that because when I first saw your title, I was quickly reminded of that song which happens to be one of my favourites. I don't think the title is eye-catching enough, and that is one of the problems with naming a fanfic after a song. There are too many other fanfics with the same title and this will not help yours to stand out. Perhaps, you should come up with something more profound. You can try messing around with words, find something relating to the story yet not revealing the plot.

Foreword & Description: 11/15

Let's start with the description first, shall we? Your description is something safe as I'd like to call it. You pretty much summarized everything without giving away too much and that's good. It's not the best but it's fine to me. There are certain parts that caught my attention, so well done. There's one thing I'd like to talk about and that is your sentence construction. I don't know why but most of your sentences are really awkward to read, or maybe it's just me. Try to rewrite some parts in your description to make it more appealing and readable to the reader's eyes. You can ask your co-authors to help you or just ask for a beta-reader. I'm not sure if English is your first language but you do have a bit of wrong grammar from your description.

Original: Kris already has a girlfriend who he loves.

Correction: Kris already has a girlfriend whom he loves.

As you can see, a lot of people tend to get this mistaken. 'Who' vs. 'Whom'. I read a lot of fics where the author got these two words mixed up. Here's some explanation. From what I've studied, who should be used in the subject position in a sentence, while whom should be used in the object position, and also after a preposition. For example:

Who cooked this rice? (here, who is the subject of the sentence)

Whom do you think we should support? (here, whom is the object of support)

To whom do you wish to talk to? (here, whom is following the preposition to)

I hope you get the idea. I'm sorry if you don't understand what I'm trying to say. I'm really bad at explaining things, so forgive me.

Moving on to the foreword, I think everything's fine here. The only thing that needs a little touch-up is the sentence construction which I've mentioned before. The snippet you've given is nice, I have nothing to complain about. The only real problem I have with your overall description are your character descriptions where you introduced the three major characters and gave a brief outline of them. I feel that this is really unneeded as the details you gave under each character could have been introduced in the story rather than the foreword itself. It's fine if you're giving the readers and subscribers the important information, but never give away their personalities. Sometimes things should just be left hidden so that the readers can discover them themselves.

Characterization: 8/10

Here, I'll just talk about the three characters that seem dominant in my opinion, which are Kris, Hyuna and Lunia. I find that your characters are interesting, but they're not memorable or amusing to me. You developed your characters with dialogues instead of describing their actions and feelings. It's not wrong but it's not good either. Some readers might have a hard time grasping your characters and connect to them. I don't have a problem with it, though. I won't ask you change the way you write because you're probably comfortable with that style of writing. Different authors have different kinds of writing styles. It all depends on taste and preference so I won't say much.

Let's start off with Kris. Based on what you wrote, I think he's an idiot. I had neutral feelings for him. I didn't like Kris but at the same time I didn't hate him. I find his character irresponsible. He left Hyuna for 4 years without a good explanation and when he finally met her, he acted like nothing happened. Honestly, I wasn't satisfied with that. He even dared to stay the night with Hyuna and made out with her. That was absolutely unacceptable and unfair considering what he had done to the girl. Another thing is that he's currently having conflicts with his own feelings. He loves Lunia but at the same time he loves Hyuna. He might be irresponsible and stupid at some point, but I can still see that he's selfless. He left Hyuna for a reason and seeing how he kept the secret for so long, he must've have loved the girl very much. I can see that he has flaws which is good. I want to feel sorry for Kris, but he brought all the problems to himself and I really hope in the future chapters, he is able to make things right.

As for Hyuna, I think she is quite a strong-minded person. She won’t take it when someone tries to hurt her, she stands up for herself against Kris and I really like this aspect of her. She acts all tough when she's broken on the inside and I think this is portrayed really well. Taking a revenge on Kris was a dirty trick but after what she had been through, it's understandable and realistic. I realized that Hyuna wasn't the girl that she used to be. When she was in Canada, I saw that she was very bright and cheerful. She was also friendly as she was able to befriend Kris in a split second. But after what happened, she became cold and passive that she can't seem to interact with anyone other than her brother and her best friends. She detaches herself from other people because she doesn't want her trust to be betrayed again like what Kris did to her. She might have changed, but I can still see bits of her old traits in her because that's her true personality which I find you did a good job of portraying. I like her character.

Now, it's Lunia's turn. Lunia is an insane person that I can't even think of her as 'normal'. She's really bubbly, like really really bubbly. I had a hard time understanding her because to me, her personality was hard to grasp. I'm starting to wonder why the EXO boys treasure her so much when she comes off as clingy and spoiled, which makes her unlikeable to me. She feels like a 'Mary-Sue' who lacks layers as a character. She feels really flat and plain, and she did come off as unrealistic at one point. I gotta say that it annoys me that Sehun likes her because I honestly think he deserves better. I hope you will try to improve her character as the story goes on because there's nothing to it. One thing that doesn't make sense is that she keeps calling Kris 'oppa' when she's actually Chinese and Kris is also Chinese. I don't see the point why she calls Kris 'oppa' when they're both Chinese.

Summary/Plot: 15/20

So far, the plot for the whole story is not the most original plot out there because I've read a few fanfics before with the same idea. But then again, I can't say much about it because your story is still on-going. What I have to say about your plot though is that it’s interesting, believe me. I really do like your plot. I know with plots many readers have their own preference of what makes up a good story but with yours it already has a decent plot. The only problem is the flow and I will talk about it later in the flow section. I won't talk about originality because that doesn't matter to me. We see cliché fics everyday. I've also written a lot of fanfics with cliché plots before. Cliché isn't always bad. If you know how to deal with it, your story will do great. One more thing, please avoid using symbols for your chapter titles. It just looks messy for some reasons.

Grammar/Spelling: 10/20

This is possibly the weakest section you’ve done in and you need to understand this so I’m going to explain it as clearly as possible. I don't know if English is your first language or not because you didn't specify, but I have to say that your grammar really distracted me. I'm not a Grammar Nazi, I'm not even a native English speaker to begin with. But there were a handful of grammar mistakes I found throughout the story, and most of them are the very basic ones. Here are few to name: tenses, punctuation, spacing, vocabulary and also some sentences that didn't make sense; I would understand what you were trying to say, but the way you strung your words together sounded really awkward or the words were simply incorrect. I suggest you type your story in Microsoft Word before publishing it on AFF because it's really helpful. Microsoft Word is every author's best friend, as I'd like to call it. I know it's sometimes tiring to copy and paste your writing because I used to feel that way before, but it helps to fix our grammar and such. I want to list some of your mistakes but you disabled text selection, so I think you can ask your co-authors to fix them for you.

Organization/Flow: 5/15

The flow of your story felt extremely rushed (to me at least). My advice: don’t rush things. Stop and explain. Some events felt rushed, like the flashback with T.O.P and the engagement between Kris and Lunia. The transitions from one event to another in a chapter was not subtle and that really bothered me. The overall flow wasn't terrible just try to slow things down a bit and add more descriptions, but not too much or otherwise it'll be boring. I didn't quite like the POV change because I feel like everything can be written with the third person omniscient POV without adding all the characters' POVs.

Structure: 8/15

There’s nothing embarrassing to point out so don’t be scared over reading this section. You did pretty well in this section but I'd like to talk about your paragraph structuring. You tend to collapse your paragraphs into one big paragraph when there are certain parts that need to be separated. It looks scattered and inconsistent. I suggest that you make them shorter; a lot of your paragraphs could be written one by one. I also don't quite like how you bolded the dialogues. Bolds are mainly used to emphasize things. In your case, you're using it for dialogues and there's no need for that, to be honest. Just stick to normal colour and format for the dialogues. No bolds or italics, unless you want to emphasize something.

Bonus: 2/5

The story is good in its own way. I can say that there are aspects in writing that I know you can improve on. Your readers seem to enjoy your story a lot, and I think that's the most important thing when it comes to a story. Your story is fun to read, I enjoyed it. The only problems are your grammar and flow, so try to fix that as soon as you can. You have two co-authors to help you so I don't think there will be a problem.

Total: 65/100

Notes: Hi there wuyifan95! I know that you requested from muraskipandadreams to review your story but I had to take over it for some reasons. I'm really sorry this took so long. I had a problem with my computer a few days ago and I actually had to read your story one chapter a day because of my busy schedule. I hope I didn't come out too harsh and my review's helpful. I'm sorry if it didn't come out as you expected. I haven't been reviewing stories for months so I hope you understand the difficulties I had when I was working on your request. Hope you enjoy your review. Thanks for requesting!

reviewed on 8/7/2014

#asianfanfics #aff #reviews #seafoam-blue

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