#although i really want to bake and eat cookies rn because of this | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cptnleviackerman · 4 months

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kitchen teasing

levi ackerman x f! reader

you decide that teasing your boyfriend while baking together is the best way to get him to give you what you want.

content - teasing, unprotected sex, creampie, small amount of aftercare, time limit, ass smacking, petnames (sweetheart, angel, good girl, darling, baby)

words - 2.9k

All you wanted was a cute baking date with your boyfriend. It wasn't your fault you hadn't seen him properly in almost a week, or that he just so happened to look absolutely gorgeous in the warm lighting in the kitchen—his eyes glowing, and his cheeks flushed.

You knew he was growing tired of your teasing antics, but you just couldn't help yourself. The way he was reading the recipe instructions, telling you what to do and being very strict on following the recipe exactly to the letter had your knees wobbling. He stood right behind you, so close you could feel his breath on your neck, and every word he spoke sent vibrations down your spine.

“Angel, are you even listening to me?” Levi sighed, clearly exasperated by your mind being elsewhere, “I said it's time to add the mix to the baking trays.”

You nod, humming in agreement as you reach forward to grab the trays you'd put out on the counter earlier. You use the opportunity to arch your back ever so slightly, so that your ass rubs against Levi’s crotch. His hands clamp down on your hips immediately, and you hear him stifle a groan. He's so close to losing his patience with you, you're sure of it, you just need to push him a little further.

“Do we need to use any baking parchment, baby?” You ask innocently, pretending you don't hear his breathing hitching, or feel his hands kneading your flesh.

“Y–Yes, we do. Let me grab the scissors and I'll cut it to size.”

Levi reaches around you, grabbing the scissors and cutting the parchment without moving from his position behind you. You grin when you realise his reluctance to move must be based purely on how much he enjoys having you pressed against him.

He hands you the parchment, watching as you begin to scoop the mix from the bowl onto the baking tray. He focuses on your hands moving, his mind is slightly distracted by thoughts of what other things he likes watching your hands do…

“It's almost done now, baby!” You smile, twisting your head around to look at Levi. You use your excitement as an excuse to tease him just a little bit more, pretending you don't notice how hard you're pressing onto him, or how your excitable shuffles have you moving your ass against him at a fairly steady rhythm.

Levi’s hands suddenly grip your hips again, and you feel him press his entire body against yours.

“You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck, angel.” He growls, using one of his hands to straighten your head, forcing you to look forward. “Now be a good girl and finish placing the mix on the tray so I can put it in the oven.”

You whine, squeezing your legs together in an attempt to dull the ache that has formed there. Your movements are hurried, wanting to do what you're told as fast as you can. Levi's confession has you weak in the knees, and you can't deny the affect his words have had on you. You feel tingly all over, shivers ran up your spine as soon as he started speaking and they are yet to dissipate.

“It's finished.” You say, trying to ignore how fast your heart is beating, and how soothing Levi's hands feel on you—rubbing and kneading your waist roughly.

“Good girl, now pass it to me.”

You grab the tray, quickly turning and passing it to Levi who is now standing a few steps away from you. You watch as he places the tray into the oven, setting a timer for 30 minutes before turning back to you.

His eyes darken when his gaze lands on you, and you take a step back—hitting your back against the counter. The delicate curves of his face are highlighted in the kitchen light, and your eyes trace his features while his hands begin to roam your body.

“Is there any particular reason you were teasing me so much this afternoon, darling?” One of his hands comes to rest on your chest, giving your tit a harsh squeeze before beginning to roll his fingertips across your nipple. You whine at the contact, sticking out your lower lip—pouting, as if this isn't the exact outcome you wanted.

You know riling him up like you've been doing all afternoon wasn’t your best plan, nor was it even necessary, as Levi finds it incredibly hot when you show him how badly you need him by coming onto him directly. But teasing is just so much more fun… and it always leads you to get what you want…so who could blame you really?

“Nope!” You exclaim with a pop. “Not really, baby, I was just having fun baking with you.”

You smile, loving the attention he was giving you. His hands were all over you, groping and kneading at your flesh like you were the very dough he'd just placed in the oven. His touch felt magical, and it was causing your entire body to thrum with excitement.

“Tch—you know I don't believe that, angel. If you wanted me to fuck you over this counter that badly you could've just asked, you didn't need to use this baking date as an excuse.”

You whine, the noise involuntarily slipping past your lips. Your eyes widen when you catch the look in Levi's eyes—hunger, and not just for the tasty treats you were baking.

His hands quickly spin you around, and one comes to rest on your hip, the other forces your head down against the cold counter.

“We've got just over 20 minutes until the timer goes off.” Levi feels you squirm underneath him and he places his free hand on your hip, gripping you tightly. “Now now, sweetheart, it's okay. Just keep still for me. You wouldn't me to think you didn't even want to get fucked, would you?”

You whine again, bucking your hips slightly, and Levi groans when your ass rubs against him.

“C'mon, sweetheart, take those trousers off for me now, okay?” He gives your waist one more squeeze and takes a small step back from you, giving you enough room to quickly slip out of your clothes.

Levi bites his lip harshly at the view you're giving him. Your bare cunt is on full display for him to see. Levi feels himself twitch at the thought that you haven't been wearing anything under your trousers the entire time he's been pressed up against you this afternoon.

“You must think you're so clever, huh, baby?” Levi asks.

You nod.

“You think you've been playing me so well, and that this little stunt here is going to make me lose my last bit of control, is that right?”

You nod again, slower this time.

“Awh, angel, you're too cute.” You turn your head to face him. “But that's not how this is going to work.”

You watch as Levi unbuckles his trousers, swiftly dropping them to the floor. He then pulls down his boxers, and you're unable to stop yourself from taking a sharp inhale of excitement.

“I am perfectly in control of my actions, angel. Now turn your head and spread your legs for me—that's it, well done, my pretty girl.”

Levi watches you as you squirm, your anticipation written plainly on your movements, and he checks the timer once again.

17 minutes.

You hear Levi move towards you, but the sounds of his feet shuffling are soon replaced with his groans. You whip your head around, as best as you can from your angle on the counter, and you just manage to catch a glimpse of Levi stroking his cock before he uses his free hand to move your head back around.

“Eyes down, angel.” He bends towards your right side, leans close to you, and whispers. “You've had your fun, now it’s time for me to have mine.”

Without a warning he presses his cock between your folds, his eyes screw shut as he feels your warmth surround him. His hands grip your waist tightly as he bottoms out, you can feel his fingernails digging into your flesh, a dull pain already beginning to form from the pressure.

15 minutes.

You half expect Levi to go easy on you, to do what he normally does when the two of you have sex—begin softly and gently, slowly working towards faster and harder. But that isn't what happens today. Something in the way he’s pumping in and out of your pussy is miles different from usual. You can already hear his breathing becoming ragged, the restlessness of his hands is making your mind swirl. It’s like he can't decide on where to touch you the most—he starts on your waist, gripping and kneading at your flesh there, he then moves to your tits, where he gropes you and rolls your nipples between his fingertips, then he works his way to your thighs, and then your head, where he laces a hand in your hair and gives it a light tug. Every action elicits a moan from your lips, and you try your hardest to focus on keeping yourself upright, but each thrust makes it harder.

10 minutes.

“This is what you wanted, right? My delicate little angel wanted to be bent over the counter like this? She was practically begging for it, wasn’t she?”

You try to squeak out a reply, but the words are too foggy in your mind, trying to focus on anything other than Levi’s cock pounding into you is like trying to count grains of sand—impossible.

When you fail to answer Levi can’t help but roll his eyes. Your tongue is lolling out the side of your mouth, your eyes are glazed over and the only noises coming from you are moans and incoherent babbling. You’re completely lost in the pleasure he’s giving you, and it just makes him want to wreck you even more.

7 minutes.

Levi groans as he thinks about how completely wrecked he wants to make you. He adores making you so overwhelmingly cock drunk that you’re unable to to say anything other than his name—repeated over and over again until you're cumming around his cock for the second or third time. It gives him an ego boost knowing that he can fuck you so well that the only thing on your mind is the pure pleasure he’s giving you—the pleasure that only him can give you.

6 minutes.

He focuses on pounding into your tight cunt as fast as he can, the timer acting as competition for him to see how close he can get you before time runs out. His hands grip your hips, even tighter than before, and he feels you squeeze around his cock—sending stars across his vision.

“Fuck, angel—shit—you feel so tight.” Levi hears you hum in response. “That’s it, well done, my sweet girl—oh, fuck—you're doing so well for me now—hhng—shit… baby… you’re gonna make me cum.”

5 minutes.

You whine as you arch your back, wanting and willing Levi to be even closer to you—as if that was even possible. You feel him shake as you move against him, and as you turn your head towards him, you find him with his eyes screwed shut and his bottom lip drawn into his mouth. Your heart swells at the sight, and you let out a shaky breath, knowing how close he is to finishing has your tummy swirling.

4 minutes.

Levi’s thrusts are beginning to get sloppier now, his pace never slows but you can hear him whimpering under his breath, his voice whiny and needy, and it makes your cunt clench around him even tighter. He curses, and you hear a crack ripple through the air from where his hand met your ass. Your skin stings, and as Levi smacks your ass for a second time you manage to find your voice again, as if the pain was able to shake your thoughts awake.

“L-Levi, cum in-inside, p-please.” Your voice shakes with each thrust Levi takes.

3 minutes.

Levi’s eyes roll back, his hands clamp down on your hips. Hearing you beg for him was the final straw, whatever resolve he had shattered when your voice cracked due to his pounding.

“I will, sweetheart—oh fuck—I will.”

2 minutes.

A string of curses falls from Levi’s lips, the whisper of your name jumbled amongst them. You squeeze your eyes shut, the knot in your stomach tightening as you hear Levi coming undone behind you. His hands hold you so tightly that you’re sure his fingernails are going to leave crescent shaped indents on your skin when he lets go.

1 minute.

“Oh, fuck, sweetheart—thats it, just like that—fuck, fuuck—”

Levi cuts himself off. His eyes roll back and he bites his lip in an effort to regain his composure. You can hear his breathing getting heavy as his orgasm crashes over him. He paints the inside of your greedy cunt with strings of his cum, and he watches you spasm as your own orgasm hits you. You reach your hands out, gripping the counter edge—tight enough for your knuckles to begin to turn white—in an effort to keep yourself standing.

Beep beep beep beep.

Your head snaps upwards, and you're about to say something when you feel Levi hastily pull out of you. You whine at the sudden loss, but he just rolls his eyes at you, giving your ass another smack before pulling his trousers up from his ankles.

“Don't whine. You got what you wanted, did you not?” Levi says, a playful edge to his voice.

You pout, and try to stand yourself upright, your shaky legs proving this to be more difficult than you expected. Your knees buckle, but Levi manages to catch you before any damage is done.

“Tch, stay there.”

You wonder if he's going to grab you a glass of water, or maybe bring one of the barstools over for you to sit on. But he does neither. He walks over to the still beeping oven, turns it off, and opens it up. With the oven gloves already on his hands—when did he grab those?—he grabs the tray and places it neatly upon the wire cooling rack next to you.

“It looks good, well done, angel.”

Levi takes the gloves off and moves to stand in front of your half naked form. You smile, and he places a hand upon your cheek.

“You feeling okay, baby?”

You nod, but your eyes are drooping slightly, and Levi recognises the signs—you're exhausted, and it's time for him to make you get you some rest. He grabs you by the waist, and pulls you towards his body. You tilt your head quizzically, but your question is answered when your feet are suddenly off the ground. You manage to wrap your legs around Levi's waist despite the lack of warning, and his hands come to rest on your ass. He begins to walk you towards your bedroom.

You question him about the mess you've left in the kitchen.

“What about the dishes?” You whisper the words, your mouth brushing against Levi’s ear.

“We can wash up everything later, don't worry about it. I need you to rest for a bit now, I might have worked you a little too hard.”

His face reddens, and you smile widely. As he places you down onto the bed, you begin to feel the ache that Levi had anticipated, and you find your heart fluttering at the thought—he knows you so well.

You watch as he shuffles through the dresser, grabbing you a pair of underwear and a pair of his trackies. You shimmy them both on from your place on the bed and grab his hand before he has the chance to walk away, pulling him down onto the bed with you.

“If I'm resting, so are you.” You state, matter of factly.

Levi doesn't argue with you, instead he manoeuvres his body so that you are able to rest your head in the crook of his neck, he pulls your leg across his body so that it drapes over his thigh and he wraps an arm around your waist. You snuggle into him, breathing in his scent.

“You're still happy with how your teasing went, baby?” Levi brushes loose hairs from your face as you angle your neck to look up at him.

“You know I am.” You press a gentle kiss to his collarbone, and Levi smiles at your action.

“Don't think I'm letting you fall asleep though, it's just a small rest before I put you back to work. We've got to get everything cleaned before we can enjoy our—”

“Our cookies!” You exclaim, suddenly remembering what you were doing in the kitchen before Levi decided he'd had enough of your teasing. “I'd almost forgotten.”

Levi rolls his eyes at you, and he gives you a quick squeeze before placing a soft kiss on top of your head.

“Precisely. We can clean everything up and then I'll make us a nice cup of tea, and we can sit down and finish watching that movie we started last night, does that sound good, angel?”

“It sounds perfect.” You breathe. Your face is pressed up against Levi’s neck, and he feels his whole body shiver when your breath hits his skin

#yeah<3 #although i really want to bake and eat cookies rn because of this #alas i cannot:(#levi ackerman x reader #levi ackerman fic #levi ackerman x you #levi ackerman smut #sage.fics

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ox1-lovesick · 2 years

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ᥫ᭡ 투바투 ── reaction to you baking them cookies!

⌕ . . . pairing. txt x gn!reader genre. fluff ☁️ warnings. mentions of food, swearing (?) wc. 100-200 each

⌕ . . . synopsis. you bake tubatu cookies 🍪

⌕ . . . a/n: my first post on this smelly app i hope it doesn't eat ass 😻 also craving cookies really badly rn

── YEONJUN

we all know yeonjun is a BIG foodie,, he'd fall inlove all over again if you baked and cooked for him 💔

thinks it's so romantic.

you? took time out of your busy day? to buy ingredients? and bake cookies? for HIM??? my lordy lord he's so inlove with you

really doesn't matter how much you bake he'll finish them in an hour 💀 even if they don't taste that great, that doesn't matter. they were made by you, with your hands, your love and affection, he will absolutely eat every last crumb.

bonus points if you decorated them cutely, he'll take 15000 pictures from every angle and send them to everyone he knows. his mom, his dad, the members, his childhood friends, his choreographer, his manager, hitman bang, his teacher from the third grade, EVERYONE will know that you baked cookies for him and how delicious they are

── SOOBIN

he's a bit worried at first

traumatized from his own baking experiences (aswell as the members) he probably expects them to taste like charcoal

very hesitant to take a bite because he's worried he'll get salmonella but it surprisingly doesn't taste as bad as he thought it would???

what witchcraft if this???

suspiciously takes another bite and suddenly the entire batch has been polished

your cookies are his new guilty pleasure 😈

WILL NEVER EVER SHARE THEM WITH THE MEMBERS (even if you tell him to) they're his and his only 💔

will hide them up his ass if he has too, they must never know how good your baking is

── BEOMGYU

suspicious #2

beom is a picky eater.

he loves you, don't get me wrong but you'll have to try extra hard if you want him to even nibble on one of your cookies 💀

would probably pick a crumb off the bottom of the plate and say they're delicious 💀

eventually he does give in because as mentioned before, he's whipped ^_^

takes the smallest nibble tho

he literally can't taste anything cause of how little he ate but he'll call you y/n ramsay

you'll have to shovel one down his esophagus for him to taste it 💀

would probably pretend to throw up

but once he's done teasing you he'll compliment your baking ofc <3

as much as he doesn't want to admit it he's now hooked on your cookies

needs them like he needs air

"if i hypothetically asked you to bake your gross cookies again would you hypothetically bake them for me 👉👈"

── TAEHYUN

"🤨🤨🤨🤨"

he prides himself on the fact that he can cook a decent meal and the others can't, so if you were able to do any better than him it'd bruise his ego 💔

he's not gonna throw your tin of cookies on the floor and call them disgusting ofc he'd just feel a little bit threatened 🤨

would probably say shit like "tell your mom her cookies are delicious"

if you call him out on it he'll start getting whiny and defensive 💀

although he'll admit defeat eventually and ask you to bake them again

stingy #2 the members must never know.

will hide your tin in his underwear draw or something maniacal like that

although yeonjun will probably be doing laundry or something and find them 😭

and when yeonjun asks him about it he'll come up with the lamest excuse too please

"who put cookies in the sewing kit?" 😟

── HUENINGKAI

does a backflip the second they touch his lips

you know that Talk X Today episode where soobin baked tarts and kai tasted one and started doing roly polys on the couch?

that's him.

bro levels up when he takes a whiff of your baking

unlike the rest of his greedy members he'll encourage them to try your baking and give feedback (although if it's negative feedback he'll rub onions on their pillows (⁠≧⁠▽⁠≦⁠)

will ask to bake them with you next time and to teach him the recipe so he can bake them for you some time as well

he'll get flour up his nose and sneeze white for the next few weeks but he has good intentions !!

will brag about it to his family and friends

"you're just mad y/n doesn't bake YOU cookies leah 🤨"

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whenallelsefails-eatpie · 3 years

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Finally Answering Questions for y’all

Q1: How tall or short do you wish you were?

I used to wish I was taller because I already am tall for an (AGAB)female (5′8 1/2) but then I learned about platforms so.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?

Monkey Ball or Sonic Adventure Escape the City...I only had a Gamecube.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?

Warning: Uses humor as a defense mechanism but will quickly become extremely invested in you and give you immense amounts of unending love if they vibe w you

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]

Melancholic

9: Are you ticklish?

extremely, on my back and sides (use this information wisely. I take no responsibility for involuntarily punching anyone who tickles me)

10: Are you allergic to anything?

absolutely nothing, allergies are to weed out the weak. (jkjk no eugenics here sis you slay that epipen)

11: What’s your sexuality?

~ pansexual ~ (prefer agab [not cis, those are two different things] females)

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?

tea, then coffee with cocoa. I don’t enjoy cocoa or coffee as much separately.

37: What is your eye color?

hazel/green

38: Introvert or extrovert?

I’m ambiverted but lean toward introversion.

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

oh yeah absolutely, I personally just prefer that the tattoos aren’t on your face. Or with piercings that they don’t take up so much of your face that I can’t see what you really look like.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

pink, red, or platinum 56: Something that calms you down?

reading, playing instruments, taking a bath, cooking or baking

57: Have any mental disorders?

yessir. ADD, anxiety. and I used to have really bad depression. Now my depression is simply manageable lol.

73: What is your MBTI type?

INFP (enneagram 4)

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

surprisingly yes, will I come close to passing out? Maybe. But I can.

87: Do your socks always match?

never, I hate matching my socks unless the socks are funky and need to match to give them the biggest bang for their buck.

92: A store you hate?

Dick’s sporting goods. I have been dragged around that place for hours and absolutely nothing there interests me. (edit: I found a beanie that I liked but my previous opinion still stands)

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

start counting and never stop. If you mean in terms of actual measurements like cups/ounces, I can drink 20. What can I say I’m from New England.

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

Definitely fly because that might help lessen my fear of heights

95: Do you like to wear camo?

literally shoot me if you ever see me wearing camo. please, I beg you. that will be me at my lowest point

96: Winter or summer?

Autumn. Next question.

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

3-4 minutes. It’s all that breath control from musical theatre.

99: Someone you look up to:

Jughead Jones. Yes I said that, fight me. He is completely himself and he allows the different facets of his personality to shine through to people that he loves and cares about. He is loyal and caring but also unique and resilient. Plus his fave food is burgers which is an instant win for me.

100: A store you love?

Hot Topic, Barnes and Nobles, Savers or any thriftstore

102: Where do you live?

New England bb (; gettin that dark academia aesthetic straight from the source

104: What is your favorite mineral or gem?

Amber

105: Do you drink milk?

You mean out of the glass? Like a psychopath? Like a serial killer? Absolutely not

106: Do you like bugs?

I do! Except for spiders and mosquitoes (although I’m warming up to spiders)

109: Can you draw:

Eh yeah ig, well enough. I draw realistically but I’m not great at animated style.

111: A question you hate being asked?

“Are you a boy or a girl?” (like why? does it personally affect you? are you planning on boning me? if not then buzz off)

113: Do you like the sound of waves at the beach?

Yes, but only at night when the beach is quiet. I’m not a huge fan of the beach during the day

114: Do you prefer cloudy or sunny days?

Rainy or sunny. Don’t go givin me the clouds with none of the drizzle.

119: Favorite thing about a person:

Personality first and foremost. Humor and kindness. But physically; their smile and mannerisms.

120: Fruits or vegetables?

Veggies (or berries i like berries)

121: Something you want to do right now:

Run away... ahah. But in all honesty I would love to go mushroom foraging rn, or possibly go on an adventure. Maybe go put on clothing meant for an entirely different time period and run around Target idk.

123: Sweet or sour foods?

Definitely not sour I hate sour. Spoonfeed me wasabi, that I can handle. But if you make me eat a Warheads I will cry.

129: What would you want written on your tombstone?

I personally have a lot of problems with the funeral industry, so I would rather not take up space and rot preservation chemicals into the earth. But if I had an interim tombstone with no body underneath, it would read “Live Laugh Love” bc ~irony~

131: What is something you love but also hate about yourself?

that I’m very individualistic and stubborn

132: Do you smile with your teeth showing for pictures?

Yes absolutely, that’s what they’re there for.

134: Do you like roller coasters?

Do I like feeling like I’m about to full send through the crust of the earth and die? No. No I do not. (I am a simple person, I go to carnivals for the food and to feed off terror.) 139: What nicknames do you have/have had?

141: Have you ever seen a therapist/shrink?

OH YEAH absolutely, I am a repressed gen z homosexual raised in a homophobic religious atmosphere, I am practically born with a therapist assigned to me.

142: Would you say you are a good or bad influence to others?

Definitely good -_- unfortunately. Catch me bein the mom friend.

143: Do you prefer giving or receiving gifts/help?

I prefer giving, but I am learning how to recieve.

144: What makes you angry

People who live their lives in willful ignorance despite the endless resources available to them and let that ignorance hurt others.

146: Do you prefer boys, girls, and/or non-binaries?

All of em. Gimme em all. I don’t like boys as much currently but I would still probably lay my life on the line for some.

147: Are you androgynous?

Yes. It’s more fluid than it is being in consistent limbo between masc and femme. Usually I’m androgynous but I often swing wildly between both ends of that socially perceived spectrum. 148: Favorite thing about yourself physically?

My hands or smile(product of bracesTM). But I have been told I have nice hands.

149: Favorite thing about your personality:

I am a very strong blend of wise and class clown. I can do em both, I can do em well, and I can do em whenever. I also care a lot about others but I don’t change myself to be accepted by them.

150: Name three people you would like to talk to right now in person.

MLK Jr. --> I want to gain perspective on some of the current global issues. Jesus --> I’ve got a lot of questions for that dude. JRR Tolkien bc he’s incredible or Joan of Arc for the same reason

151: If you could go back into time and live in one era, which would you choose?

Ooh well, as a woman not many eras are desirable. But um probably either the 70s or Ancient Greece

154: Do you like to kiss others’ foreheads or hands for platonic reasons?

YES. GIMME UR FINGERS > i meant that to sound much less threatening than it did but my statement still stands. 155: Do you like to play with others’ hair?

Yes it’s literally one of my favorite things to do. I hab empty lap. *pat pat* U may lay your head on it and watch Rilakkuma and Kaoru with me while I play with your hair. pls. 157: Something that makes you nervous/anxious:

Women..... That’s it. That’s the tweet.

158: Biggest lie you have ever told:

That I am not a member of the alphabet mafia. (It’s not currently safe for me to come out) Now tell me *shines light in your face* who are your contacts?

164: Do you have long or short hair?

I have medium hair. It’s around the length of a bisexual bob or a good mullet.

165: Shortest/Longest your hair has ever been:

Shortest was a pixie cut, almost buzzed, amazing. Longest was to my butt and was literally the worst experience in existence. I shall to this day actively rebel against having hair like that again.

166: Why do you like, dislike, or have neutral feelings about religion?

Organized religion can suck it. You can’t organize your relationship with God, nor can you stick it into a little manmade box and pretend that you have the ability to create a perfect faith which others have to either follow or perish. It’s arrogant and damaging and hurtful and not at all what Christianity is supposed to mean.

167: Do you really care how the universe and world was created?

I do. I think it’s important and something we need to think about. I do believe there is something after death, and I like to believe that my life has meaning. I think that questions of creation are important questions to ask and we can’t just ignore them.

168: Do you like to wear makeup?

Yes! It’s fun! Pretty colors!

170: Did you answer the questions you were asked truthfully?

Absolutely. And the ones I didn’t feel like answering I simply omitted.

#chaotic good #Q&A #I learned more about myself writing this #than you probably did reading it #pls feel free to continue asking questions #i probably have too many answers #i heard oversharing on the internet is #cool

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redstarwriting · 4 years

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Secret Ingredient

Thor x Stark!Reader

Request: “Can I request a Thor x reader something fluffy? Both of them are baking or something and thor is a complete doofus and it's all happiness bcoz I'm CRAVING happiness rn. Thank you so much for considering!”

Word Count: 1,393

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Sarcasm, language, holiday themed

A/N: Okay wow, this is way past overdue. I am high key sorry I stopped posting randomly, school really took up literally all of my time. I can probably say the same thing will happen when I go back for spring semester, but I will try my hardest if I ever have free time to write!! This one was really fun, I’m just really sorry I didn’t get it tout sooner. I personally celebrate Christmas, but I didn’t want to leave out other holidays, so I hope my lil Hanukkah toss in is okay!! Enjoy!!

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The holidays were always a complicated time for your family. Your dad is not the most religious person, but your sister is four years old and wants nothing more than Santa to come down the chimney and surprise her with all the things she’s wanted all year long. Your dad, of course, is also the best dad in the world, so he happily plays along and only complains to Pepper every now and then. And perhaps the absolute biggest downer of all, your grandparents were killed around this time. That really gets to your dad. He acts like everything is fine all the time during the holidays and just in general, but you know he’s struggling deep down.

On the other hand, your boyfriend loves the holiday season. Due to him being a literal Norse God, he absolutely adores celebrating Yule. He never fails to inform you of every detail of his people’s way of celebrating. In fact, this year you’re going to New Asgard to celebrate the days of Yuletide with him. Nothing about the holidays can make him sad, so you’re stuck in a crossroads between him and your dad. Oh, and the fact that you won’t be there for Christmas day this year also hurts your dad’s heart. You swear you saw it get a little dimmer when you let him know.

However, there is one thing you know that will always cheer him up. Food. And that’s how you ended up here, in your kitchen with your boyfriend with a Christmas playlist blasting. “This is very fun, (Y/N)! Now, what can I do to assist you?” Thor asks, grinning from ear to ear. You bought him an apron that says “Kiss the Cook” on it, and you’ve never been prouder about something in your entire life. What a sight it is to see the God of Thunder cheesing in a cheesy apron. “Well if you could get me some eggs and butter out of the fridge that would be ideal,” you tell him, and he hurries and does that. But he also drops the carton. “Not to worry! If they are broken it is okay, we need their insides anyways.”

“You know for a God you’re pretty damn clumsy,” you chuckle, bending over to pick up the eggs. Luckily, only two broke, so you weren’t out of business... yet. “My love, what else can I do?”

“Ummm- oh! Can you get all the icing out? And the cookie cutters? I want these cookies to be cute as all hell.”

“Yes of course!” You hear some shuffling and then a loud crash. You quickly turn around to see Thor on the ground, a box of cookie cutters spilled out around him. You can’t control your laughter, and he just smiles. “This is obviously very funny for you, but I am afraid the cookie cutters are now dirty,” he says, hoisting himself up from the ground. You just roll your eyes in response. “Thor, baby, we can wash them. With water. They won’t stay dirty.”

“Ah, yes. I forgot about that,” he says, beginning to pick them up and toss them in the sink. While he was singing along to an instrumental version of Carol of the Bells and getting soap everywhere around him, you finished mixing the batter and began placing it on the cookie tray. “Do you wanna try?” you ask your boyfriend, who is now quite literally just standing behind you and peering out from behind your shoulder. “May I?” You hand him the batter, stepping aside. “So all you have to do is- nope, okay you can also do that,” you begin explaining that for this specific cookie you must roll the batter into little balls and place them at least two inches away from each other because they tend to spread out quite a lot, but he just slapped down a glob of batter onto the tray. “It appears I have done it wrong.”

“That’s okay, we can give that one to Loki.” Thor chuckles at this, handing you the batter again to finish up the batter before you put it in the oven. “Okay, now we put them in for about 10 to 12 minutes, always start with the lower time because you can always put them in longer but you can never fix them if they’re burnt,” you say out loud to yourself, which causes Thor to look at you with a shit eating grin because he thinks you’re absolutely adorable. After you put the trays of cookies into the oven, you turn to Thor and give him a smile. “And now we wait! But we should probably get all the icing ready,” you move to the store-bought icing because you know Thor attempting to make icing with you would just be… messy. “So, we have red, green, white, blue, black, brown, silver, gold, and yellow. Perfect,” you mumble, and Thor intervenes. “May I ask why we have blue? The colors for Christmas are red and green, are they not?”

“They are, but Hanukkah is blue and silver and we’re including Hanukkah, especially since Pietro and Wanda celebrate Hanukkah. As for the other colors, there are characters we’re gonna be making. Inclusivity, Thor,” you tell him, grabbing the cookie cutters he got out a while ago and sitting them next to the icing. You sigh with contempt, proud of yourself when you feel two strong arms wrap around your waist. That’s when you hear the famous intro to the most popular Christmas song in existence. You immediately zip around, facing your boyfriend, and begin singing the lyrics. “I… don’t want a lot for Christmas… there… is just one thing I need…” Thor looks at you with an amused look on his face. This isn’t the first time he’s heard you belt out the song to him this year, but he loves it every time. “Is… youuuuuuuuuu,” you finish the beginning, and before you know it, you’re being picked up and danced around the kitchen. You and Thor “waltz” and mess around, using a whisk and the head of Pepper’s mixer as microphones. Through your laughter and singing, you hear your little sister’s voice. “Ew,” is all she says, and you and Thor stop, looking over at her. “Ew? I think you mean, ‘aw, how adorable.’”

“No, she definitely means ew. You two, are way too relationship-y. Baking cookies together? Disgusting,” you hear your dad say, entering the room behind Morgan and picking her up. “Shush!! And get out you weren’t supposed to be back until 7!”

“She got out of karate lessons early, something about holiday cheer. I’ll leave, but only if I get to taste the cookie dough,” Tony says and you groan, giving him a little dollop. “Mmm, sugar cookies. Good choice, sweetheart.”

“Leave!” He chuckles, walking out of the kitchen and heading upstairs to entertain Morgan for a little while. “As much as I love him, he can be so unbearable,” you say to Thor, causing him to chuckle. “Well, you two are very similar. You are possibly the only person who can actually get Tony Stark to leave a room,” he says, and you roll your eyes. “Morgan and Pepper have him absolutely wrapped around their fingers, too, babe.”

“Well, so do you! You also have the strongest Avenger wrapped around your finger as well,” he says, winking at you. You raise an eyebrow at him with a confused look. “I don’t have Bruce wrapped around my finger.” You can literally see him give you a “seriously?!” look before he says, “Okay, that is it. Prepare yourself, I am not going to hold back with this,” he says, approaching you wiggling his fingers. “Thor, don’t you dare!” you scream, starting to run around the kitchen as he chases you, ready to tickle the living shit out of you. “Say it was a joke!” he says, catching up to you and attacking you with tickles. Needless to say, your dad didn’t actually leave, and he recorded the whole thing. Although the holiday season was bad for him for many years, celebrating it with his wife, two kids, and God-who-is-like-my-third-child was amazing. Your cookies are also really damn good, and every Avenger enjoyed them and every time they asked what the secret ingredient was you answered with the cheesiest thing imaginable. Love.

#avengers x reader #thor x reader #thor odinson x reader #tony stark x reader #iron man x reader #avengers imagine #thor imagine #thor odinson imagine #avengers #thor #stark!reader

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thedivinemissema · 6 years

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I'd love to read something fluffy/heartwarming /steamy between FemShep/Hackett!

First of all, I am so so sorry this took me so long to answer! I am normally busy, but rn I am SUPER MEGA ULTRA BUSY, and I am trying to keep all the parts moving. Then when I wrote this, I wondered if it was fluffy enough, because there is so much angst potential after the end of ME3. But anyway, here it is, and I hope you like it!

Shepard could smell cookies even before she really woke up from her nap. Actually it was the smell of cookies that made her edge towards wakefulness instead of lingering in bed as her tired body wanted her to do. Iladia woke up with a smile, wondering where on Earth her husband had gotten the ingredients for cookies. Literally, where on earth did they have everything that was needed?

Iladia hadn't woken up to the smell of something baking in years, not since her parents had both been deployed and she'd been staying with her abuelita. The scent of slightly burned chocolate is what really roused her, and she pulled herself up to sitting so she could get into her wheelchair. Physical therapy that morning had been tough, but if she wanted her legs to heal properly, she had to endure it. Besides, it was really nothing compared to N7 training, although she'd been a willing participant in that. Not so much getting the shit beat out of her while trying to save the world and then crashing back down to it.

Miranda said she'd been more of a mess this time than she had been the first time they'd met, which was saying something. Getting put back together for a second time in just a few years was proving to be a challenge for everyone involved. But then again, no one had endless buckets of money like the Illusive Man seemed to have back then, and Iladia was awake and had to do her part to get better. It was tough, and with the shortages on earth, there were times when sleeping through her pain was just about all she could manage in a day.

But she was still alive, and no one was expecting her to get up and have any more victories now, so that was something. General Iladia Carmen Morales Shepard de Hackett (Ret.), only had to worry about getting better these days, and that was a Herculean task on its own. She got married, changed her name and tried to live a quiet life as a retired Alliane Marine. She didn't go by General Hackett just to avoid confusion. There had been a few people that called her husband General Hackett during the Reaper War, not many, but enough that it could cause some headaches. Hackett wasn't a true general in rank as she was, and it had taken an act by two governments and what remained of the Alliance brass to make her one, so she was proud of it. Proud as she was, she was still Shepard to most people, and Commander Shepard to fans that recognized her. Most of them didn't these days.

Easing down the hall, Iladia chased the enticing aroma of baked goods until she found her husband, neatly making up what looked like his third batch of cookies. Two dozen uniformly round little chocolate chip cookies sat cooling on a wire rack on the counter and as she went by she took one of the warm cookies and bit into it. It was light, sweet and the chocolate still partially melted -- in a word, it was perfect.

"Steven, what are you doing home?" she asked just as he leaned down to greet her with a kiss. When she'd gone to sleep, he hadn't been there. He wasn't, most of the time, but he still had a job while she didn't.

"Wanted to see how you were, Ladi. You didn't stop by after your appointment, but when I got here you were dead to the world, so I started cleaning up. That turned into cookies," he explained, and smoothly put another tray of round lumps of cookie dough into the oven. "I had to trade to get some of this, but you said a few weeks back you missed dessert. It's not a cake, but cookies are always a good start."

"They are," Iladia said, beaming up at him. "I didn't know you could bake."

"It's just measuring," he said, smiling at her. "Even I can manage that, most of the time."

"Somehow, I don't believe that. You know I can't cook and if it was just measuring, that wouldn't be the case."

"I may have had some practice, in the past," Hackett admitted with another grin. He leaned across the stovetop to hit the button to turn on the interior light, and then peered in at the cookies. "I had an aunt Mary, when I was a boy, who made all the birthday cakes. I remember them more than I can remember her, to be honest, but she always said cakes are the real test."

"I look forward to seeing you meet that challenge, and eating the results," Iladia said as she slid backwards to grab another cookie. Hackett gave her a mock frown, but she knew him well enough that she could see the smile at the edges of it.

"You skipped the part where you told me how therapy went today," he said, reminding her of her grueling strength-building session.

Iladia groaned but started to answer as she poured herself a glass of water. "It was a lot. Trying to get my legs back into shape to hold me when I keep expanding isn't an easy task."

"Good thing cookies are nutritious," he said, winking at her.

Iladia wondered if she vowed not to eat too many more, if it would do any good. Probably not, she decided and went for another one of the excellent cookies.

#ema writes #mass effect #iladia shepard #admiral hackett #tinderwulf

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