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faejilly · 10 months

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i absolutely love your sh meta so i was wondering what are your thoughts on Alec’d relationship with his sexuality bc i always sort of read it as him knowing that he was gay but absolutely not saying it out loud

absofuckinglutely nonny

There's an excellent post by amorverus that I cannot find the original of so have my reblog HERE that articulates it really well

I even wrote a fic about it! #shameless self promotion [tumblr / ao3] (That is, in fact, one of my favorite things I've ever written.)

I do strongly believe that Alec knew that he was gay, and felt no shame about that in and of itself. He is not offended by Magnus flirting with him, would not, I think, be offended by anyone else flirting with him, regardless of gender. (Tho prior to Magnus I also think he just... wasn't interested, but that's a separate conversation.) He knew, however, that it was not allowed in his culture and it would hurt his family and not just him if it came out.

(This is why Izzy makes me so uncomfortable in s1 regarding Alec, tbqh, because she lives there too, but refuses to see the danger to herself and, more egregiously in Alec's mind, because obviously she can chose to risk herself for him if she wants, for all he doesn't like it, but she's causing risk for their little brother if Alec is outed, and that's unacceptable. Even if I'm quite sure Max would agree with her priorities.)

I do, however, think Alec felt a lot of shame regarding his attraction to Jace. Jace was hurting and was supposed to be his brother and yet... Alec felt an attraction that he knew Jace wouldn't return. So he's got all the societal pressure on him not to be gay, and all this personal pressure not to manipulate or abuse someone in a vulnerable situation (because Jace was, even if he wouldn't admit it), PLUS all the normal human issues with feeling attraction for someone who is important enough to you that you can't lose them, and you can legitimately be terrified that if you can't get it under control you MIGHT... (Even more so for him than a mundane romantic vs platonic situation, obviously, because there's questions of command and exile and punishment, not just ruining an interpersonal dynamic in a way it never quite recovers from.)

Plus Alec's kind of also Jace's commanding officer which is yet ANOTHER unequal power dynamic, and he's supposed to be protecting an entire Institute, not just this one person, but he can't stop thinking about it because it's fucked up and he knows he should stop and he can't.

(Because, he realizes with the benefit of hindsight after he meets Magnus, by fixating on Jace he was safe, he was never going to fall in love for real with someone he might have a chance with, would never have to actually choose between his culture and his personal desires, while still telling himself that he already had, that he'd chosen his family and it was fine, he was FINE.

(He was so not fine.))

And so, even though he truly believes there's nothing wrong with being gay in general, he does believes there is something Very Wrong with him specifically being gay.

But he still never has any doubt about it. He never tries to project heterosexual interest in anyone, is very up front with Lydia about the terms of their engagement. (It seems clear, even if we never see that conversation, that they're both aware that their marriage would never be romantic or sexual unless they mutually decided to go the so-called traditional route for children.) And she agreed to it! She, unlike Jace & Izzy, had zero illusions about her relationship with Alec, and I ADORE HER FOR THAT.

And I've totally lost the thread of this rambling, I'm not sure I have a conclusion for you? 😅😅😅

Alec is, imo, refreshingly self-aware about most things, and many of his issues are legitimately external stupidity punishing him into a life of self-recrimination rather than him having internal bigotry or biases against his own sexuality in and of itself.

#jilly answers #Anonymous #the saga of #alec lightwood #honor vs duty vs shame #is really his life pre-canon #he throws away the shame tho #and I'm very proud of him for that #shadowhunters #my sh rambling #sh meta #queer as in #fuck you

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malecdaily · 5 years

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2x18 I 3x12 I 3x22

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malecshappiness · 5 years

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Alec being Magnus’ rock part II | [part I] || Magnus being Alec’s rock

[requested by @limaosl]

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dailyaleclightwood · 5 years

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Alec Lightwood in Alliance: an appreciation post

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lightwoodsdaily · 5 years

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season 1 I season 2 I season 3

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madzieloss · 5 years

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I told you not to flirt with me.

#shadowhuntersedit #malecedit #magnusandalexander #amorverus #dailymalec #my edit #mine #a multi-angle malec kiss??#unheard of #we have been blessed #(we have not been blessed by the lighting)#(kill me)#this coloring sucks but i tried at least a little bit so forgive me #1k

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wonderworman-archive · 5 years

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the mood for 2019 is drunk and exhausted

#shadowhuntersedit #aleclightwoodedit #amorverus #shedit #usermalecs #*#my edit #magnusandalexander #alexandargideonlightwood #*tv #1k

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lightwoodbanemlm · 5 years

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I have no idea what's going to happen next episode, but I really want Alec to be totally upfront with Magnus if the break up has to happen. Like if that moment we saw during the trailer is Magnus just learning that Alec got him his magic back, but right before Alec tells him what the price was.

I think that would make an excellent parallel to 2x18 with the "I love you too... But as a leader" line. If we got something like "I did this for you... but there was a condition" from Alec.

I also think that is the most in character way for Alec to go about it. Honesty and communication is such a staple in their relationship, that for Alec to fabricate a story in a situation of this magnitude when he knows how much Magnus is struggling wouldn't make sense to me.

@laughingmagnus @amorverus @bi-leigh-bi thoughts?

#shadowhunters #malec #meta #alec lightwood #magnus bane #laughingmagnus #amorverus #bi-leigh-bi

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highwarlockkareena · 5 years

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magnus bane birthday week: day 1: outfits

#amorverus #magnus bane #shadowhuntersedit #shadowhunters #gifs #my stuff #mymagnusedit #mbbirthday #also the long detective coat

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kinnsporsche · 6 years

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❝ for [alec] to have any tenderness in his life is something new. it's not until he meets magnus that he sort of starts to figure out exactly what it is to love someone.❞

#malecedit #malec #shadowhuntersedit #shadowhunters #nephilimdaily #magnusbaneedit #aleclightwoodedit #alec lightwood #magnus bane #tscsource #shadowhuntersdaily #dailymalec #amorverus #userswancy #highwarlockkareena #usermalec #sh*#**#malec*

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henryandalex · 5 years

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amorverus replied to your post: At this point I wouldn't be surprised if Magnus is...

i don’t think he doesn’t know how to use a computer, he clearly was operating it just fine but then it froze on him & he got frustrated lol … i don’t rly read it as him being incapable he just doesn’t have the patience for stuff he never needed the patience for

I mean we all know what they are trying to achieve here but personally that narrative doesn't work for me. Because I feel like they are not able to fully show his frustration even though we know(!) this is the reason, but the actions/lines make it look somehow as if he is incapable of doing that in a way.

#amorverus #replied #sh spoilers

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malecdaily · 5 years

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#soulmates

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malecshappiness · 5 years

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Alec being Magnus’ rock part I | [part II] || Magnus being Alec’s rock

[requested by @limaosl]

#shadowhuntersedit #malecedit #dailymalec #shadowhuntersdaily #knightofsteles #magnusandalexander #userlutavero #userlauren #userrike #amorverus #shadowhunters #malec #gifs #request #some of them might not exactly fit in the category #but i decided to make them all #don't judge #1k

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dailyaleclightwood · 4 years

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Top 15 Alec Relationship Dynamics: (as voted by our followers) ⇾ #15. Alec Lightwood and Lydia Branwell

“Alec's love for his family and his desire to restore the Lightwood name has touched me in ways that I haven't felt in a very long time. Alec is a man of honor and I truly care about him.”