#and for some reason nothing would work

[orchid-n-petals]

So I've already shared parts of this on a discord server, but I have to scream about Ketheric Thorm on here as well. Obviously spoilers about the character under the cut! It's a long one.

The entirety of act 2 is about him, right? Jaheira, Shadowheart and numerous other NPCs shit on him for his fickle faith. First Selune, then Shar, then, as we meet him, Myrkul. You hear about his changes of faith on a whim, you hear that he's the person responsible for the shadow curse, he is painted as a villain, plain and simple.

You can figure it out pretty early on that Isobel was resurrected and that she is his daughter; the detail as well that he wants Isobel alive is so on the nose, it gives him away completely but there are still a few questions that remain unanswered, mainly about his faith.

And then you get to the mausoleum and the picture assembles; this entire tragedy, the death of hundreds if not thousands and the complete ruination of a landscape was all, ALL because you had this absolutely wrenched, heartbroken father who had lost everything and nobody answered his grief. He was left woefully alone, the Goddess whose daughter his daughter was involved with did nothing to save Isobel.

Imagine outliving your wife and your daughter. Imagine dedicating your life to fight the Lady of Loss, your Lady of Silver's enemy, and then be left so completely alone and in silence with your grief, with your loss. It's so, so poetic how and why he turned from Selune, and it's so understandable as well; he broke. His spirit completely broke. He couldn't deal with that void of having lost the only two important people in his life, seemingly undeservedly so. He was going mad with this and a lot of his ire was likely targeted at Aylin who, in his eye, represented Selune; she's literally her daughter, after all, and it was implied that even before the deaths of his family, he sort of saw Aylin courting Isobel as Selune taking his daughter from him, despite his service. This relationship was clearly not seen by him as a boon of "giving his daughter to the Moon-maiden".

His ways in the past clearly didn't spare him from tragedy and having to cope with it (which he clearly didn't, he snapped under the weight of his grief). He was clearly angry and unable to do anything, furious and helpless, which is a dangerous combination. A good part of his first change of heart must have been fuelled by a sense of revenge.

But then Shar didn't provide any balm to his aching heart either. If you read his letters in Grymforge and in act 2, he is so focused on enacting the will of Shar because he believes that healing lies in oblivion. Everything would be easier if he could just forget, if the damn world could just forget, if nothing was remembered because without Melodia and Isobel, nothing was worth remembering.

Then came Myrkul. Literally the only god who was not only able, but WILLING to give back his daughter to him. Imagine spending your all, EVERYTHING you have to serve two gods who would not give a single shit about the greatest suffering in your life. You were basically nothing, your loyalty didn't matter for shit, everything that was taken from you amounted to no recognition whatsoever: you should simply cope and seethe. Your grief will not simply go unanswered (which is not inherently antagonising) but ignored.

And then comes this supposedly evil entity who can alleviate your pain just like that, snap of a finger and it's a done deal.

I am so serious when I say that I believe Ketheric's main incentive was to extend Aylin's immortality to Isobel as well. You can read in her diary that she feels a taint after having came back, and there are things not even Selune can cleanse, but at this point, Ketheric doesn't care about Selune, vengeance is secondary if not tertiary, he's done that war during his Shar years and what did it give him? Literally nothing.

He doesn't even care about the fact that Isobel is still her cleric. He cares about the single most important fact: Isobel is back. Life is worth living again, there is something for him, and it was not Selune or Shar who gave it to him but Myrkul, and for this singular gift, he would raze the world for the Lord of Bones. Like people can clown on him for being disloyal but the man has the loyalty of a dog bonded to its owner.

He is powerful and is willing to go to insane lengths for crumbs. What is raising a single life for a god? Nothing. It has happened and it will happen again. But Ketheric will go to the ends of the earth to serve the single god who actually listened to him. The one god who didn't ignore him.

He knows that what he does is not the morally upright thing! He is so insanely self-aware that allying with Orin and Gortash and doing this entire plot with them only to then betray them is morally reprehensible at the best of times, he knows that people hate him, etc-etc. He was a Selunite at one point and he's not stupid. He just doesn't care; it could be literal Asmodeus and he wouldn't care as long as he got what he wanted, no matter the price.

He is probably the only one from the three of the chosen who has complete clarity over his situation, he almost sways (if you pass the check during his confrontation), he is not an inherently evil man blinded by power.

But he is inherently loyal to those deserving, and as of the story's standing, completely broken by his grief. In his eyes, at this point, the only one deserving loyalty is the one who actually listened to him. Isobel lives. It doesn't matter that she hates him, that his entire life has fallen apart, that literally nothing else that is good has come of it, because Isobel lives.

I don't think he regrets a single thing. His consciousness might tear at him at the end, but I believe he would do everything over again, exactly as he did, because in the end, his daughter was brought back. Because what would a grieving, broken parent give to bring back their child? Everything. Absolutely everything. And it's such a simply given answer, no second thoughts, no doubts.

Nobody can tell me that this man is fickle. Nobody. This man was willing to burn the world to the ground, create a Boudica destruction layer all by himself for the one single thing he wanted. For any God that would listen.

I don't know, I just have a lot of thoughts about his character.

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #ketheric thorm #and I also have a lot of thoughts of how Aylin foils him #I fully believe that he was in the right in the capacity that he switched around his gods when he was literally ignored despite his life's #work. despite all that he has given. I think it's reasonable to expect in the world of gods who actively meddle in mortal affairs on their #whims and make shit worse that in just one single case they would. idk. NOT expect one of their devotees to remain blindly loyal to them #after their prayers go unanswered. like yes; go and try your luck elsewhere because this devotion of yours is clearly being taken for #granted. you get NOTHING out of your worship. you can't even sleep well because your loved ones are dead and you are expected to just what? #deal with it on your own? and remain loyal? why? #some sense of 'honour'? #I really like this depiction of faith actually. I really like when clerics and paladins are given agency and critical thought that hey! #this is actually giving me nothing despite me dedicating my entire life to it! and I have only one of it so why not take it somewhere where #it's actually valued. you know. as a treat. #I *personally* much more prefer this depiction of a crisis of faith than what we got with Shadowheart or Lae'zel; their stories are very #interesting on their own but I think throwing yourself from one end to the other not because you actually have a goal that it could serve #but because you are desperate for a purpose #is a slightly less potent character narrative than having an actual goal yourself. not by much but by a little. #again #PERSONALLY

[wasyago]

i love your thoughts about qmariana and his gloves... does qslime wear gloves for any specific reason as well?

kind of? its not angsty

I imagine as a person made of slime its quite difficult to maintain a complex shape with lots of details and bends and curves, because slime as a substance generally tries to take the simplest shape possible. Its more like- thought and energy consuming than anything.

Thats why Slime looks like a blob pretty much: no ears, no facial features, no joints or knees or elbows, no muscle structure, no hair details, no nothing. And he's okay with that, appearances are not that important really. But having fingers is important. So to make it easier for himself he wears gloves that remove a lot of the thinking process from the whole thing and give him a clear shape to fill in!

also because the first time i drew him (a while ago) i took a lot of inspiration from old cartoons and sonic, that's pretty much where the gloves came from. i still like this detail so i decided to keep it

#i could've said that it was to not stick to things but he's not wearing shoes so it wouldn't have really worked... #mf would be carrying all the dirt and rock he steps on but still wearing pretty white gloves for some reason #(the reason he doesn't have shoes on is that im lazy and also nothing really looked good with jorts) #yagotalk #my art #sketch #slimecicle #also im having way too much fun rendering the slime...

[carlyraejepsans]

saw your most recent post about really good fics that contain uncomfortable kinks and i immediately thought "ah, biscia must be reading the mpreg soriel fic" and almost left a reply talking about it but i stopped myself because i realized that would be an insane assumption to make. needless to say i felt so vindicated when i saw you link it in an earlier post.

like. HELLO?

HELLO???????

#answered asks #''I fear nothing good ever comes of it when it does'' is straight up SEARED into my brain as the toriel line of all time I've ever read #there's some character interpretations I don't share there. like i said i don't think either of them would cry that easily #and while the different conception (badumtss) of sex/gender in various monsters was interesting #i felt like it didn't quite deal with the ramifications of not strictly binary reproductions on social perception of gender like I could've #eg the part about boss monsters being closer to humans in how it works and thus having a different concept of mom/dad compared to skeletons #was pretty nice. but if you establish that skeletons work like ghosts but distinguish she/he ''for some reason'' even though all of them #can bear kids. and then you make a comment about ''the child possibly growing into a woman considering the shape of the pelvis'' it's like #why??????? why. whywhywhy. why would that be a factor. even hypothesizing a certain physical dimorphism. WHY pick the one tied to pregnancy #the ONE ASPECT that you decided was shared between both ''male'' and ''female'' skeletons #it's also like. objectively an argument that is leveraged to hurt and deny trans people irl so it was just. unbelievably uncomfortable #this is what we mean with mpreg and transphobia btw #not that the concept is inherently transphobic or hurtful to trans people #but that that kind of alternative biological worldbuilding implies an alternative social conception of gender role for the characters #that a lot of authors just. straight up miss. because their view of the world is still very cis/perisexist #BUT!!!!!!!!!! #it was still over all a very good fic. I'd rec it to pll not into that for the initial 2 chapters alone

[cerise-on-top]

Fasching with König

Because today is Faschingsdienstag, I just had to write something for him on that day! Today is the only day I can post this, afterwards I'll have to wait over a year again! Fasching is an Austrian holiday that is essentially the last day before fasting for 40 days, so people go all out with food and drinks and festivities, they even dress up in costumes! It's not nearly as fancy as what some other countries have, but it's tradition! Besides, who am I to say no to a Krapfen with König!

Mentions of alcohol, but König is Austrian, so what did you expect?

First off, he hates going to the city during that “holiday”, there are far too many people, the crowds are way too big and it’s too loud for his liking as well. The only reason he’s taking you to the city on that day is so you can experience more of Austria with him. At least that’s what he tells you, in reality he just really wants to go eat a Langos or two and drink a few beers. No one would judge him for that on Fasching, there are crazier bastards out there than him. He’s never been a fan of Fasching, not even when he was a kid. The only reason he looked forward to that day was because he could go home from school earlier than usual. But other than that Fasching had always irritated him. He was never one for playing dress up either.

He couldn’t say he was surprised when you came up to him, demanding for the two of you to dress up as something. The most König would do on his own would be to put on a pair of bee feelers on top of his head, but he would never consider putting on a full costume. Not only was there a chance people would stare at him, but he’d feel awkward as well. Besides, which place would actually sell a costume in his size? Not a common one. You’d need to be a bit annoying for him to put on more than just bee feelers. He’s more willing to play dress up with you as long as you put on something as well, though, even if it still wouldn’t be anything too fancy. If he can find one, he might put on a Winnie the Pooh onesie, but only because it’s somewhat comfortable, somewhat warm and because there are weirder people than him out there.

He’d hate seeing the Faschingsumzug, but he’d tolerate it just for you so you can see all the wagons together and comment on all the costumes. The music is far too loud, there are people surrounding him on every side and he still hasn’t had a single drink yet. Tragic. You might wanna hold onto his arm before you’re being swept away by the crowds. Although König usually isn't one for PDA, in this case he’d prefer to keep you close. It keeps him a bit calmer and you’re not getting lost in a city or town you barely know. You can drag him around all you want, though, he’ll comply, even if he might roll his eyes a bit whenever you wanna go take a closer look at some of the other costumes and wagons. However, get ready to be dragged to one of the nearest stands for a few Langos. They’re not amazing, nothing special in the slightest, but they’re not bad either. He’ll pay for them, naturally. You can choose between a regular Langos, a Toast Langos or even a Käsekrainer Langos. König will likely have eaten all three due to his massive appetite, but you’re more than welcome to take a bite out of them as well.

Once it’s finally getting a bit later and the masses are starting to disperse, that’s when König will be a bit less grumpy. He gets to finally go to a bar with you and drink to his heart's content, his highlight of the day. You can drink whatever you want, from soda to Pago, from Spritzer to Jägermeister, he’ll always go for a few beers. While he might seem a bit grumpy at first, once he’s had his first beer he’s a bit more cheerful, König just really hates big crowds. However, he got to spend another day with you, which is all he could ever want. While you’re sitting at the bar he might take out a few Krapfen for the both of you to enjoy as well. Might joke about getting some Heringsschmaus with you the next day, even if you don’t like fish. It’s tradition, it’s part of the Faschingszeit, but that doesn’t mean he’s a big fan of it either. No, he much prefers the Krapfen you can eat during Fasching. Not big on fasting, he loves beer and meat too much to give up either of those things and won’t even do so if you ask him to. He’s a simple man, he knows what he wants and he knows what he likes. You can pry his Schweinsbraten from his cold dead hands, and even then he’d put up a fight.

Although König loves spending time with you, he will be glad once Fasching is over and once you finally voice the thought of going home. He’s tired from all the people and the alcohol makes this situation only slightly better. Even so, despite all of that, he’s looking forward to the next holiday, proper or not, he can spend with you. Due to him having drunk some beers, he’ll likely stay in bed a bit longer the next day. A perfect opportunity to snuggle up to him for a bit. Afterwards you can discuss what you would like to eat together.

#cod #cod x reader #könig #konig #könig x reader #konig x reader #I was so unhappy when I had to go through town today and there was no way through so I had to go around town to get home #I was so incredibly pissed about that #but hey my father made Gulasch today! and he put a blueberry quark strudel in the oven! it was so creamy and good! #so food wise today was amazing for me! #I even wore some cat ears at wok. the other apprentice and me were the only ones who “dressed up” today which was a shame #even though he only wore devil horns and that's it so nothing big either #but there are people who dress up entirely! but you barely see couple's costumes here. I saw none today in all honesty #I saw a lot of ladybugs though! a few bees! piglets! sunflowers! #it's a colorful festival! but a lot of people drink on this day so not a lot of them will be at work tomorrow! good #the only reason König would love this holiday would be because of the beer #you guys don't understand just how much alcohol Austrians drink we're far far above the EU average #the state I live in is far above the Austrian average as well my father told me today #so yeah we drink lots and lots of alcohol. beer for the most part but Spritzer is also really popular. Spritzer is superior though #beer is just disgusting and gross. I've tried it once and it was so bitter. but this is coming from someone who likes Jägermeister haha #I didn't get a Krapfen today though which is so incredibly sad :( Maybe some other time but it won't be a Faschingskrapfen :(

[thenotoriousscuttlecliff]

I've seen some speculation that Moiraine and Lanfear's big confrontation will be moved forward to the end of S3. I can see that working mainly because neither really has anything much to do in The Fires of Heaven and it would make the finale of S4 less cluttered with big events.

The only reason I'd be against it is it mean losing Rosamund Pike and Natasha O'Keeffe a whole season earlier than expected, unless the writers then intended to follow Moiraine and Lanfear's experience in the world of the Finn until both come back into the main narrative, in which case I would be totally up for that. I'd love a season or two of Moiraine and Lanfear just being forced to live and work together to survive.

#wheel of time #wot on prime #wot book spoilers #moiraine damodred #lanfear #i wouldn't be against them bringing moiraine's rescue forward and then just have her take cadsuane's place #since all cadsuane does it take moiraine's place #it would be a much better use of moiraine than to not have her back until the final season #and then do nothing but tell everyone to place nice #and marry thom for some godforsaken reason #there's not even a reunion with lan or siuan #bloody sanderson felt marry thom was more important #i hope he's so irritable because he knows the show writers are just going to ignore huge chunks of what he wrote #moiraine/thom is certainly a goner #i can't see any way that would work in the show

[neptunesailing]

mayoi (enstars x hnk au)

#nep draws things #ensemble stars #enstars #sketch #mayoi ayase #enstars x hnk au #hnk au #ouoououououu i am soooo proud of the mayo on the right hjhjrhgrghrhgrhghgrghrhg he is so !! #showed this to a friend before i posted and they said his hair would taste like frozen grapes and i had to break it to them that it'd break #their teeth JHDHJFHJSDHJFHJSHJFSJD anywayy i might redraw the aira one.. he needs some attention too ^_^ sorry i only design for hii.ai / #alkaloid but THEY ARE MY FAVS........ by this logic i should be drawing more sw.itch but . i just . *waves hands* alkaloid !!! alkaloid so #special to me.. anyway tatsumi has another job other than patrolling with mayo which is why mayo has the winter uni and tatsun has the norm #i was maybe thinking tatsun would be a healer like rutile is..? nothing is set in stone (pun intended) for now ahha but tatsun can still #fight jsut fine!! hes more of a watcher for mayo. mayo fights more since his hardness lvl is much higher than tatsun's. during the spring a #stuff tho i think mayo kinda hides around? still not sure.. youd probably see him around tho in the shadows (ala canon i guess) and i guess #thats how hiiro and aira get to know mayo outside of patrols.. OH the reason why mayo is on winter patrol is because he gets too nervous #working with other gems and he kept messing up and hiding away whenever he did mess up so :((( yeah he usually fights by himself OH I SHOUL #EXPLAIN WHY HE CAN SPLIT INTO 2 its because of the spinel law something somethign rotated at 180 degrees at some axis but ANYWAY his hair #is longer in his singular form but you can see in his split form his hair is cut differently than how we normally see mayo's hair- and also #theyre mirrored!! their braids are on different sides and the side w/o the braid is shorter!! and the moles are on opposite sides too heheh #holy shit i wrote so much in the tags..... anyway THANK YOU SOS SO MUCH TEA FOR REMINDING ME OF THE HNK AU AGAIN AND ENABLING ME TO GO #INSANE OVER THIS AU AGAIN UR AMAZINGGGG <333333

[lieutenant-amuel]

It feels like people really forget sometimes that Shuriki has been ruling for 41 years, there are two generations that have grown up under her and have no idea what life looked like before she came

#Personal #*Avalor under Shuriki* #The biggest port in the whole EverRealm #Merchants arrive from over the world to trade there #Therefore Shuriki is bad #… #I mean yes she erased their culture #their national identity #And THIS is what bad #Not that she’s an evil sorceress #She wasn’t even violent she just sat at the throne and gained power #She literally didn’t care about people #Which means she neither thought about them nor harmed them #Thanks to Esteban life in Avalor wasn’t that terrible #The young generations like Gabe’s have NO reason to hate her #This is how they got used to live because they had NOTHING to compare with #Unless their parents were some rebels but this is unlikely if you care about your child’s safety #You cannot tell me that every single Avaloran hated her #There’s been SUCH strong propaganda under her it literally can’t work like that #Why would young generations care about festivals and music if they never experienced it? #There’s no way I’m saying Shuriki is nice of course not #But c’mon guys let’s be realistic #Even if we take Gabe into account #Do you really want to tell me that he had anything against her? #When he was a kid and a young teen? #With absolutely non-rebellious parents? #Yes Mateo is different because he learnt magic and was literally breaking the law so of course he treated Shuriki differently #But the majority of Avaloran kids were like Gabe #Because again they didn’t have anything to compare with #And if we talk about old people and adults too there must have been people who supported her this is just a lot more realistic

[prodigal-explorer]

it’s so cute (/s) when basil fans whine about how “basil feels so guilty all the time and he has abandonment issues cuz his parents were jerks and he’s just a kid who makes mistakes wah wah don’t ever criticize him ever” and then turn around call aubrey a bully when SHE feels so guilty all the time and has abandonment issues cuz her parents are jerks and she’s just a kid who makes mistakes.

hmm.

you’re in a stalemate now basil fans. you can’t admit that basil is your smol innocent baby without admitting that aubrey also is one, which she’s not, right?

so that means basil can’t be either! wow! what a concept, a boy doing something wrong and not having a million excuses made for him?? how wild.

#contrary to popular belief #aubrey is actually just basil but better and cooler and awesomer and more badass #like their situations are so similar but they handled it so differently #and i get that mental illness makes things hard for some people that are easy for others #but nothing aubrey did was a cakewalk #when she realized she fucked up #SHE APOLOGIZED AS SOON AS SHE COULD. #and she ADMITTED WHAT SHE DID #and tried as hard as she could to atone. #what did basil do? #oh yeah. #he pretended to be an innocent baby and it WORKED. #whether or not he meant to #he DID manipulate his friends to believe that he was just a victim #and that aubrey didn’t have a reason for what she was doing #even though she DID have a reason #she just knew nobody would believe her or care if she spoke up about it #okay i know basil fans are gonna send me death threats again #so let me say for the record that I DONT THINK BASIL IS EVIL. #i actually love his role in the narrative and he’s amazing mental illness representation #but he is so good BECAUSE of how hard it is for him to be redeemable. #no matter how sorry he is #BASIL FUCKING DESTROYED PEOPLE. it doesn’t matter that he’s mentally ill. #those scars on the people he hurt won’t fade just because they’re shown a psychiatric diagnosis. #and i think that’s an important lesson #that it’s possible to be mentally ill and a horrible person and that’s not demonizing mental illness that’s just being a person #forgiveness isn’t mandatory. it’s optional and you’re not bad if you decide not to forgive someone for ruining your life! #omori #aubrey omori #basil omori

[metapphjores]

there is no future or liberation for any movements that sees their "enemies" as non-human

#having read accounts of some of the most soul-destroyingly cruel and evil actions taking during genocides by their perpetrators #i understand how easy it is to divorce these people from our concepts of humanity and logic but like #nothing will be solved unless you understand that these people commiting these crimes are in fact human #and nearly nothing seperates you from them but your situations. nothing. there is no inherent moral center that these people lack. #if we were raised in these circumstances we too would do these things. the reasons people within these systems reject them is not because #they are uniquely better and more human than the majority of their ethnic group / fellow nationals / whatever #but that they were in circumstances that allowed them to understand that they were being lied to #these people actually do have be engaged with and accepted as human beings. you can not kill or remove every person who has participated #its doesnt work like that. it has never worked like that. changing things is awful demoralizing generational work that we may never see the #results of but it very literally is the only option. any solution that denys the humanity of any of the parties involved will fail and will #leave all these issues for the next generation to solve. the only way forward is to destroy THE SYSTEM creating these circumstances and hope #it leaves a better world for the children.

[ocpdzim]

what you’ve got to understand about working conditions in education (and also other care-oriented careers) is that if they’re shit, two things are true at once:

that does not ever excuse being cruel to a kid, no matter what

until those conditions are fixed, education will continue to suck absolute shit

this is because when working conditions for teachers are really bad, many of the good teachers who recognize when they are reaching a point where they can no longer be the sort of teacher the kids deserve due to burnout WILL quit. they will do the responsible thing and go away for their own sake and the sake of the kids. and you end up stuck w a combination of new teachers who are trying their best but won’t last long, burnt out teachers who are trying their best but have nothing left to give and therefore aren’t very effective at actually teaching, and cockroach shitheads who take out their misery on the kids.

we have all had terrible experiences with bad teachers, many of them flat out traumatic, but for fuck’s sake please try to look at the systemic underpinnings of the problem for one minute. spitefully declaring that teachers don’t deserve good working conditions or even the right to complain about bad working conditions because ms. whoever in 5th grade was a bitch is only going to create more of her. if you want good teachers then we need an education system they can survive in

#i get so irritated w the post where like. #95% of it is a good post and then at the end op is like WAAAHHH teachers are complaining about burnout on my post about a bad teacher #like yeah no shit. if the field of education wasnt so hostile to everyone who works in it maybe they could have found a better teacher to #replace that motherfucker with. and then she would not be there to bother the kids any more. #as someone who Has had traumatic experiences w bad teachers. #its scary enough walking into a field i know is pretty much built to chew new teachers up and spit us out #hoping to be able to survive it long enough to do some good and be the kind of teacher i needed as a kid #without people acting as though it is some sort of crime for teachers to want. like. basic human dignity at work and enough money to survive #even people who are nominally pro-workers rights #you guys have no fucking idea how bad the situation is in schools right now #the reason bad teachers didnt get fired perhaps USED to be tenure #but nowadays its the fact that its rare for a school to be fully staffed *at all* bc so many teachers quit or died #so they'll hire and keep absolutely fucking anyone simply because the alternative is No Teacher. and an empty classroom #full of kids who wont learn anything except that the system doesnt even care about them enough to put a teacher in the room. #i have gotten job offers ON SIGHT from principals who know nothing about me and im literally not even legally qualified to teach yet #like before even telling them my name lmao #and im sure everyone else in town who expresses any interest in teaching whatsoever gets the same.

[lesbiansanemi]

I hate when I’ll be complaining about some stupid bullshit a coworker does to other coworkers and half the time their response is to lower their voice and go “well…. You know…. I’m pretty sure they’re… on the spectrum, you know?” And every time I have a split second when I have to consider saying “you know I’m autistic, right?” just to make them vaguely uncomfortable for a few minutes and actually think about what they’re implying but of course I do not do that because the gratification is not worth a large sect of shitty coworkers knowing that about me and then talking about me like that every time I do something vaguely annoying or dumb but man…. It does get tempting sometimes

#like idk!!! sometimes the coworkers in question DO display some common autistic traits #but that is NEVER what is being complained about (at least not by me) so WHY are we bringing it up like that el oh el #like when I say ‘yeah I don’t like this coworker because of the shitty fucking things she did to my friend’ #the response should not be ‘well I think she’s autistic isn’t that so funny she’s so obsessive about stuffed animals it’s annoying’ #shut up shut up SHUT UP AND DIE #I don’t CARE that they talk too loud I don’t CARE that they’re bad a social cues I don’t CARE that they do ‘weird things’ #and it’s so. HFDJSJKSKSKS AAAGGHHHHH #whether they’re autistic or not MAYBE that’s not what should be getting brought up during a conversation like that when it has NOTHING to do #with it #also maybe we shouldn’t be doing shit like whispering ‘on the spectrum’ like its some awful terrible thing #just thoughts idk #and the thing is too is that even if I told these ppl I was autistic #they would 100% be the types that are like ‘oh? but you don’t ACT autistic I don’t think you are’ #like actually I got very good at masking for these reasons thnx #also you think autism = Sheldon from the Big Bang theory and nothing else #but I already learned my lesson cuz I told a coworker that I wasn’t sure about exactly twice #one of them went ‘oh THATS why you’re so dumb and don’t realize when other ppl don’t like you and take advantage of you’ #and then the other one went on a mansplaining spiel about how me being autistic was why adhd meds didnt work on me?????? #so yeah. never doing that again. haha. hahahaha. hahahaha…… #this actually happened a few days ago but it’s been Bothering me so much #I hate my fucking job…. #kaz rambles

[iloveyouitisruiningmylife]

spending my whole life trying and trying and trying and trying to be good enough for people who don't give a fuck about me

#im so tired living seems pointless why am i doing this what is the reason #the firm i work at is going thru a merger so it's releasing all the interns except 2 #i went into her office and said that id like to stay here bc my dad said so bc i got in cause he was friends with the head #and she said ill think about it based on performance ive not decided yet #and this other guy he went in to tell her that cool he'll leave and she told him that she was hoping that he'd stay #he literally does nothing but play games on his phone he doesn't work at all #i have no idea what he has that i don't #but just. im stuck like this forever right never ever good enough for people i like or care about #not for parents they have a diff fav child not for ex gf not for bestie who has a boyfriend much better at loving her than me #not for that one guy who rejected me in interview bc i don't read the newspaper and didn't know the date of the finance act #im so fucking sick of this i never even wanted to this fuckinh course and obviously even my best isn't enough and ofc im not good enough #for anyone in this field and ill just struggle and struggle and struggle all my life just to earn some fucking money so i can live away #from my sociopathic parents #and the worst part is that i can't stop feeling like maybe it IS me yk maybe i am the problem maybe im not trying hard enough #but how else am i supposed to handle this i prioritize my studies and lose all my friends i prioritise my friends and fail in d #exams #and the trauma keeps on coming every fucking day bc sociopathic parents but i jsut push it down and say not rn i will cry at night anx then #never cry #i wish someone would just tell me that idk you're wrong you're not made for this you really do have some mental illness and you're really #trying your best and do something that's easy and that you love doing #oh god this is now a ventpost #mes

[whysamwhy123]

Hmmm. What if I attempted to write a piece of Trash and posted it anonymously?

#What is wrong with you Sam you should not be allowed to write #This post was inspired by...something #Namely me getting a Bad Idea for a fic (thanks to someone's else's fic) #And then feeling The Shame because I'm just like that and this would normally be enough to stop me from even attempting it #But then I was just like...what if I tried anyway and just stopped giving a shit? #I'm being super vague here because reasons #But...this bitch is tempted to just write some problematic poorly written trash and shove it out there for all to see #It's not like I have a reputation to worry about I'm a nobody LOL #But at the same time there's a bunch of reasons why I don't think I should bother #Shame is only part of it tbh there's other more valid reasons why #it doesn't help that most of the other stuff I've been working on is stuff I don't think I could ever post anon or not #I'm babbling on about nothing here what the hell? #This is what happens when I kinda-sorta inch my way out of a month-long writing slump and then I start getting Ideas again #Bad Ideas! #Folks if I'm really about to enter my IDGAF Era of writing it's gonna be a baaaaaad time for all involved... #OK that's enough Sam let's stop now #......................................the idea is for an OrangeHook fic #Or whatever people are calling that now

[hella1975]

realising something bad about someone that means the world to you should be illegal. id like to live blindly actually

#ive been tiptoeing around this realisation for a WHILE now but today was the first time i actually verbatim in my head #went 'i dont like living with my mum'. and the moment i thought it was like no nooononono lets NOT do that #like objectively my mum is my favourite person in the world and i love her more than every other person in my life combined #but LIVING with her in HER HOUSE is just not... it. and it makes me feel awful for even thinking it bc that's her biggest fear #that we're gonna grow up to have the same relationship that she had with her mum and that ISNT what's happening like i could never #be distant from my mum in fact the reason she has such a chokehold on me is BECAUSE there's so much love there #but it would still break her heart to know i felt this way and i just feel so shitty for it. but like? i CANT relax here #like the thing that made me think it this morning wasn't even an explosive thing like it usually is with her #like every shouting screaming argument we've had ive just taken it. but then this morning when nothing exceptional happened #i was just. done. so basically i told u guys she wanted me to hoover today and already yelled about it YESTERDAY which. whatever #and she goes out every thurdsay until lunchtime and i think ive said on here before that the days we're home alone are HUGE flashpoints #bc if she comes home and perceives that not enough chores have been done/one thing has been done wrong she just hits the ROOF #like her temper is entirely disproportional she gives the same energy for the washing up not being put away that another mum would #give for finding drugs in their kids room. ive truly never seen someone maintain a temper like that woman can it's actually impressive #so yeah she was gone this morning and it just always leaves me On Edge it's never a huge thing bc im not SCARED of her but im not relaxed #and i hoovered for an hour and washed up and then also dusted the stairs and did some other tiny irrelevant jobs #and my sister did fuck all. she pulled a sickie off work and stayed in bed while i fussed about what to do with the dogs and shit #and so when my mum came home ig i was expecting some sort of acknowledgement? like not a round of applause #bc obvs it's just chores and the hoovering she literally told me to do but when my sister had been SO unhelpful and it had been #SO on my mind for hours now i was just. waiting for something? and even i didnt know what so it's not even fair #but my mum came home and decided she was in a bad mood and she had a go at my sister for being lazy and not doing the chores she said #she'd do today and she DIDNT yell at me which she sometimes does just do if she's pissed at my sister. but she just got mardy with me? #like she got up and left to go watch TV in her room and i was like 'oh i can watch it with you?' bc sometimes when they row my mum #hints at me and her going somewhere else to bitch about my sister. but she just shook her head and snapped at me for some dumb shit #like TINY shit id missed and then wouldn't even spend time with me and i was just like. are you serious #and THAT was when i had the thought bc i was like there is actually no winning with her temper #and i can never fully relax around her because of it. even when we're getting on she is at any point seconds away from ripping my head off #and it's not nice being around someone like that ALL THE TIME. and i dont mind it when im at uni bc im at my own house in my own life #but when it's HER house and she makes it very clear that it's HER house and we need her and the car if we want to so much as LEAVE #then that's just not a fucking pleasant environment to be in? right? even if it is just me being a baby? ugh idk and i hate this

[gamebunny-advance]

Today's NSR Trivia: Rare(?) DJSS + DK West Art

Likely due to being the first proper boss in the game, DJ Subatomic Supernova has a lot of unused/cut content, including a theme for a nonexistent "approach" level (which can be heard in the "NSR Approach Megamix"), cut voice lines, and no debriefing profile.

While the official twitter has shared what this hypothetical debriefing would have entailed, I don't think the unused art for his profile has ever been posted through a first party source or exists in the game's files.

However, it is viewable in a Steam trading card.

Similarly, DK West, who also lacks a proper debriefing, is a part of this set and thus also has unique art only shown in these trading cards.

Whether this art was drawn specifically for the trading cards or if the art existed prior is currently unknown. (Though I personally suspect the latter.)

#nsr #no straight roads #dk west #djss #dj subatomic supernova #i've been working on other stuff #but nothing i can really post #so here's some trivia i found that you may or may not enjoy #we've had the unused profile for a while #and access to the trading cards for as long as EE has been out #but i've never seen them posted so here ya go~ #since i can't talk about NSR without bringing up my favorite guy: #i think it's funny that the DJ is the one instance where kliff would have blatantly told B2J to beat a man to death #it's like the opposite of the yinu situation #'no you don't have to murder this child just destroy everything she holds near and dear to her heart m'kay thanks :)' #for the dj he's just: #'kill him' #i don't think DK West has an unused debriefing because he was never supposed to be a part of NSR #(even at early stages of conceptualization) #thus kliff would have no reason to gather data on him #but i still wonder what it would have been like~

[autumnhobbit]

I’m gonna be real with you guys, I kind of dread the idea of trying to raise any future kids in this church

#and it’s not because i don’t believe the faith. obvs i do #but like in practice i’m either going to be going by myself or with my mom & siblings or whoever #i don’t have any friends my age so idk how i’m gonna find good friends for future kids #and obvs i want them to have good friends #i do believe in the virtues of friendship and believe it’s an important thing for people to experience and work at #but also i’ve had a lot of heartbreak in friendship and have a complicated relationship with it #and when i think back on my own childhood in churches it was always so turbulent #both because my family didn’t gel with the cultures/ideals of so many parishes #and because my dad made enemies everywhere we went (for obvious reasons but still) #that wasn’t us kids’ fault #but it didn’t matter #i thought i had adults to look up to in faith #but i have literally none i have a close relationship with #and even the ones i respect that doesn’t mean they’re good around kids #or would like hanging out with me #and i don’t want just any random person thinking because they’ve talked to me a couple times #that they get say in the close intimate decisions or issues i have with my spouse or children #the whole thing is strange tbh #like i don’t even want to have a close relationship with some priests even if i respect them or like them #and too many priests think that just cause they see you once a week they know you and should have a say in things they know nothing about #idk man catholicism in america and maybe the world is just. so hard nowadays.