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bathomet-writes · 1 year

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it’s so easy

summary: Mikey and you had been secretly dating for over a year, and a lot has changed in both of your lives. The Kraang invasion, the people of New York, it all shook up the status quo. On a rooftop date, you and him spill the tea and reconnect about what's really important.

relationship: Mikey x F!reader

warnings: romantic, fluff, humor, secret dating, slight hurt/comfort, sfw

word count: 3,191

author's note: another request for @/snipersiniora!! 💕 (ngl i listened to the reel big fish cover of “it’s not easy” while writing so this is loosely inspired by it lol)

You don’t know why in all the time you’ve spent in New York, you’ve never been up on a rooftop. The view was amazing.

There were a couple of reasons as to why. Your hatred of high places, for one. With a strong enough breeze, you could go flying off your roof and become intimately familiar with the pavement below. Sometimes your neighbors would set up lawn chairs and shoot the shit, which was fine enough. You’ve just never been comfortable enough to want to join them. Lastly, it was a little difficult to skate on. The crowded atmosphere and uneven terrain made it the last place you would want to find yourself on a nice evening such as this.

But, the rooftop of your building had one upside: it was the place you got to see Michelangelo.

You clicked your heels together as you sat at an empty folding chair leftover from one of your upstairs neighbors. He wouldn’t show up for at least another 30 minutes, but you couldn’t help but jump the gun a bit and wait on the roof anyway. You’ve been keeping yourself busy, drawing random sketches onto your iPad.

Mikey and you had been friends for a while, but you officially started dating about a year ago. Not much has changed between you two, even after the Kraang invasion.

He was his same upbeat, eclectic self. But Mikey was also a little more confident. He carried himself differently, with a knowledge and experience you couldn’t even begin to relate to. You were a human, he was basically a superhero.

You bite at the tip of your drawing pen. Why was it whenever you started thinking about him and his brothers, you got inexplicably frustrated.

Was it because Raph, Donnie, and Leo still didn’t know you two were dating?

No, not really. You and Mikey weren’t really concerned with labels. You two were content to continue hanging out like you always had, just with a little extra…intimacy.

Maybe it was the fact that you had to hang out in precarious places such as your rooftop. Why couldn’t you just go to your apartment, or the lair?

“No, that’s not it.” You grumble to yourself, tapping the pen against your cheek.

“What’s not it?”

Mikey’s head appeared right above yours. He had just landed on the top of the wooden overhang you sat under, hanging like a spider.

Smiling, you sit up a little more straight to give his snout a peck.

“This…caricature. I just can’t capture his likeness. It’s missing something.”

Mikey blushed, dropping from his perch to sit next to you. “Allow me to offer you my artistic perspective!”

You happily oblige and show him your screen. Thinking about your fellow tenants had made you unintentionally start to draw little doodles that looked like them. You couldn’t help wanting to draw the people you knew. Your weird, human neighbors were quite the characters. Almost a little more weird than the turtles, in your opinion.

“Oh, I know this guy. Is this the one that knocked at your door at 3 AM asking for a DVD?”

Mikey pinched to zoom in on your sketch. You don’t know whether your drawing was that accurate or if he was just great with faces. Either way, you can’t help but smile even more.

“How did you know?” You snuggle closer to Mikey, leaning in. “He insisted that I had borrowed his copy of Cats. And I was like, ‘Dale, I already own it on Blu-ray. Why in the world would I steal your DVD?’”

Mikey fell into your lap in hysterics. “NYAHAHA—! You didn’t!”

You weren’t lying about the interaction having happened, but maybe you embellished the part at the end. You just loved making Mikey laugh.

“I did!” You beam.

“Your neighbors are so weird, even for me. And the only neighbors I have are the sewer gators.”

You set your iPad down on the patio, scooching Mikey to lie fully in your lap.

“Her name is Leatherhead and she’s lovely. I met her family once, on the way to the lair.”

Ignoring your sly tone, Mikey curled up into you like a lap cat. He was practically purring from how happy he was to finally be in your arms. It’s only been a couple of days since he’s had the opportunity to see you like this, and he was absolutely touch-starved.

“I missed you,” he sighs. “Patrol has been intense lately.”

His tired smile told you that he’d rather not get into it right now. You hum, petting the side of his head.

“I missed you too.”

Talking about his brothers wasn’t necessarily a taboo topic, but right now was the time for Mikey to relax, to unwind. You had plenty of stress in your own life too. Maybe it wasn’t as important as keeping the city safe, but it was tiresome to you nonetheless.

You both just wanted to forget about everything else, just be together. That was what these rooftop hangouts were for. And if that was good enough for Mikey, it was good enough for you.

But your smile faltered, if only for a moment.

Mikey’s eyes were closed as he continued to relish your head pets, unaware of your subtle shift in mood.

“Tell me more about your neighbors.” Turning his head, he speaks softly into your hand. “I love hearing about the people you live with. They’re interesting.”

“Well, this town is kinda ‘interesting people’ central.” You shrug.

“Yeah, I know. Are humans in other places like the ones here?”

Dragging your fingers along his textured skin, you think about it. You hadn’t really gotten around much, but you figured that NYC was a little unique compared to other major cities.

Your lips ease back into a lazy smile.

“Sort of. This place is sort of a big Melting Pot, y’know? It doesn’t really matter where you come from, everyone ends up wherever they are…for whatever reason.”

Mikey looks up at your face, his expression dripping with curiosity.

“What’s that mean?” He smirks.

“It means that people are weird. This place has a lot of people. Therefore, New York is just about the weirdest place there is!”

You two laugh, basking in each other's presence. After looking down at Mikey, you feel a little more normal. Work, life, all of that didn’t really matter anymore. Or at least, it shouldn’t.

“My neighbor’s aren’t all that interesting, Mikey. They’re just your run-of-the-mill folks, day drinking and sitting on the stoop.”

“Woah…” He gasps, sitting up. “Day drinking?”

Internally, you chide yourself. “I wasn’t supposed to say that.”

“Don’t worry, your secrets are safe with me!” He smiles, zipping his lips shut.

“I shouldn’t gossip…”

You roll your eyes a bit before they land on Mike. His eager, expectant expression was just too cute. Who could say no to a face like that?

Suddenly, you’re filled with bubbly energy.

“Okay, okay! Liz told me that Bill said that Debbie’s grandma was apparently—“

You whip your head around, making sure the coast is clear. You never knew who might be listening in, your neighbors were terribly nosy.

“She snuck Hennessy into the apartment meeting. Last Sunday, when we got together with the building manager, they had coffee and stuff…”

Mikey quickly scrambles over to grab a free chair before sitting directly in front of you. Enraptured, he places his head on his hands.

“And she added a little extra somethin’ into her mug? How scandalous!” He wiggles his eye ridge, fully getting into the story.

You launch forward and gesture wildly with your hands. “No, that’s the thing! She put the booze…in the coffee pot.”

Mikey’s smile dropped.

“You don’t mean—“

Grimly, you nod your head.

“I mean a whole room of people, shnackered at 10 AM. On God’s day.” You chortle.

He covers his mouth in genuine shock. You chuckle, looking at his wide-eyed expression.

“And I know that Liz was the one who ratted her out, the bitch. She of all people would know what Hennessy tastes like, I saw her drink 5 whole cups with my own eyes!”

Mikey moves his hands away, his voice hushed. “She sounds like a bitch.”

You kick your legs up and recline farther in your chair. “You don’t know the half of it.”

Liz was your next door neighbor. She always had a knack for being right outside your door whenever you stepped out to go to work. You left early everyday just to accommodate for the inevitable one-sided conversation. She was old, and very lonely, so you didn’t mind her chatting your ear off.

But she was also very bitter. Even more so after the Kraang invasion.

“I swear, I keep seeing those…frog men. They flip around my windows at all hours of the night, whooping and hollering up a storm! Who do those punks think they are?”

You’ve seen a lot of different reactions from people after the turtles officially became public knowledge. Usually, it was just casual disinterest or disdain from the more conservative crowd. Old people, cops, etcetera.

But for some reason, the people you lived with just happened to be either really old or in law enforcement. They hated all mutants, and they didn’t have any problem letting you know about it.

You nearly get lost in your own thoughts before Mikey nudges your knee.

“I think she’s the one who threw a flower pot at my head that one time.” He chuckles, rubbing the back of his noggin.

Sighing, you lightly knock his leg with your foot. “Yeah, that’s Liz. If rent wasn’t so good here, I’d move out in a second.”

“Aw, they’re not so bad!” Mikey shoots a toothy smile at you. “It’s not the worst thing someone’s thrown at me.”

You meet his grin with a small frown.

“How do you do it?”

Mikey cocks his head. “Is that a rhetorical question?”

“Ugh, no? Yes?” You lean back and stare up into the sky. It was a clear day, not a cloud in sight.

“You’d think people would be a little more thankful to the guys who saved their asses from alien invaders.”

You seethed, thinking about all the nasty side comments and quiet whisperings you’ve overheard in your hallways.

“Hey, don’t get angry on my account.” Mikey reaches out and gives you a good-natured pat on the leg. “My family’s used to people wanting to kill us all the time, so a flower pot is actually a nice change of pace.”

“I guess so.”

Then, you realize it.

This was why you were so stressed out. Whenever you think about the turtles, you can’t help but associate them with all the negative energy you’ve been surrounded in at home. You thought you had thicker skin, but you feel your heart start to sink.

“You know, it’s funny.”

Mikey sighs, musing to himself.

“Sometimes I think about how weird it’s been lately. Splinter always told us it was important for us to not be seen, to stick to the shadows. It was because of the ninja thing, mostly. But I know he was trying to keep us...”

He picks nervously at his palm, tracing the lines of his hand.

“Safe?” You ask.

“Sheltered.”

There was a sadness creeping into his voice. You hated the sound. It was just too bittersweet for you to handle. You cautiously look back to Mikey, waiting for him to finish.

“But, then there was April. And Casey, later on. I thought there might actually be a chance for us to make it out in the human world. The whole yokai/mutant thing with Draxum was…well, a whole thing.”

Mikey briefly looked back up to make sure he wasn’t boring you too much. Not that he didn’t like to talk with you about stuff like this, it was just a little hard.

When you give his hand an encouraging squeeze, he sighs.

“But, I knew we kinda wouldn’t have a choice to stay in the shadows anymore. After the Kraang, that is. Leo told us we wouldn’t exactly be getting the red carpet treatment.”

“Humans are stupid.” You huff.

“You’re a human, and I don’t think you’re stupid at all.”

Mikey squeezed your hand back, a sad smile forming on his face.

It wasn’t like he needed the entirety of New York to accept him and his brothers. With April, Casey, and especially you, he had all the human approval that he could ever want. He searched your face, and he knew that you were starting to slip.

You try to swallow down the lump in your throat before speaking up.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up all this.” You run your thumb along the edge of Mikey’s.

Mikey sits up, puffing out his chest. “That’s enough. I will not have you getting sad because of me!”

Suddenly, he stands up, bringing you along with him.

“I’m not sad, I’m mad!” You scoff, rubbing your nose on your sleeve. “I ought to throw ceramic vases at Liz, see how she likes it.”

Tutting you, Mikey leads you out into the middle of the roof. There was a concrete slab next to the door that led back into the building, where you had placed your backpack earlier. You watch as Mikey sneaks around, dipping behind your back, to dig through your bag.

“You know a good way to get rid of all that anger?” Mikey whispers, rising up.

“What are you scheming back there?” You cross your arms and spin around. “Stop messing with my—“

When you turn around, you see Mikey holding up your trusty pair of skates right up to your face. He held them by the shoelaces, a cheeky grin peeking around them.

“Skate the hate away, baby!”

“That’s a beautiful thought,” you smirk. “But I couldn’t.”

“Oh, then let me help you.”

You gasp, feeling Mikey drag you over to your chair to push you back into it. Once you fall, he moves down to pull off your sneakers and lace up your skates.

Blushing, you watch him lovingly guide your feet in. He sticks his tongue out as he ties little bunny-ear knots.

“Mikey…!” You giggle, his fingers tickling your ankle. “This is too much.”

Whenever you started to become sad, you could always count on him to lift your spirits back up. You tried to stay as endlessly positive and go-with-the-flow as Mikey, but it was difficult sometimes. The inner optimist in you was finding it more and more hard to navigate the nihilistic world you found yourselves in.

“There! Now c’mon.” He smiles.

Mikey lifts you back up, pulling you to glide over to the concrete by the door.

You can’t help the goofy smile that creeps in when he spins you around. The flat surface was just big enough for you to skate a couple of inches away from him.

Your shoulders slump, all at once feeling happy again.

“What did I do to deserve you?” You fold your hands behind your back and circle Mikey.

Chuckling, he tries following your face as it spins around him.

“Nothing. You were just in the right place at the right time.”

He stood there idly watching you elegantly sail past him. It was fun constantly making him have to twist around to keep eye contact with you, and you feel laughter begin to bubble up.

You snatch his hand, forcing him into an awkward dance with you.

“Care to join me?”

You grin from ear to ear, placing a hand upon the small of his back. Or rather, his shell.

Surprisingly, Mikey is caught off guard by your bold move. You watch with glee as his face flushes a bright pink. He stutters, a little bashful at being led around by you instead of the other way around.

“I g-guess I don’t have a choice?”

You pull him closer, pressing up against his plastron. “Nope!”

The two of you spin around in lazy circles for a while. The blazing sunset on the horizon brought a new feeling of warmth and comfort, a heavenly glow lighting up your eyes. The entire city looked like it was bathed in orange, Mikey’s signature color.

It was a good look for New York.

“Wow…” You sigh, marveling at the beautiful world around you.

“I know.”

Mikey shifts a bit, managing to stand an inch or two higher than he usually is. You were both about the same height, at least that was what you kept insisting to him. But he wanted to look down at you for once. He wanted to hold you like you held him.

“You make me feel accepted, you know.”

You blink against the light of the sun before looking back at Mikey.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah. You just let me be me. That’s all I need. You make me feel all…sparkly.”

You bite your lower lip, holding back a chuckle.

“Sparkly, huh? That’s a unique adjective.”

That was the best way Mikey could describe it. You and him had so much in common, mostly in terms of your hobbies and your personalities. But there was just something about being around you so much that showed him how different you were. In a good way, obviously.

You were human, he was a mutant. There was the ninja-ing as well. You both had wildly different life experiences.

Slotting your head between his neck and his shoulder, he hugs you tightly.

“What about you?”

His warm breath makes you shudder, practically melting into his hold.

“You make me feel…”

You move your skate to engage the rubber stopper. The world was seriously starting to spin.

“Shiny.”

“Hey, are you copying me?”

Playfully scoffing, Mikey picks you right off of your feet and spins you around again. You laugh into each other's embrace, and you hold on for dear life as he pins you securely to his chest.

“It’s true! You make me feel all shiny and new.”

For a second, you feel your thoughts wander back to your earlier conversation. You don’t like having to shift into serious mode, but you needed to say just one more thing. Mikey moves away to get a better look at your face.

“I know it’s not easy. Having to save people when they don’t even—“

“No, it’s not. But when I think about all the people who do care, who do understand me…”

Mikey smiles, tipping your chin up slightly to look at him. He always wanted to do that to you.

“It’s easy. It gets easier everyday. All I have to do is have you right here.”

Then, your heart flutters in your chest. You didn’t notice it before, but Mikey stood a little taller than you now. You don’t know if he had a growth spurt or something, but there he was. Looking at you, his eyes sparkling in the sunset, you knew there was a lot more to Mikey than anyone thought.

Even you.

“I love rooftops,” you sigh, moving up to brush your lips against his cheek.

Angling his head around, he leans into you.

“I love rooftops too.”

taglist: @saspas-corner

#rottmnt x reader #tmnt x reader #sfw #mikey x reader #michelangelo x reader #rottmnt mikey x reader #requests

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tigerlyla-of-metinna · 2 years

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Witcheress Ciri and Emperor Emhyr: Family Reunion (Part 2)

Dawn is fast approaching.

They could feel the sun slowly warming their backs.

The silence between them was awkward and deafening. Emhyr thought since she extended an olive branch, she should speak first. Ciri thought, as an authority figure, he should.

Emhyr broke the silence first.

"How is the witchers' lot treating you?

"Cant complain" she replied "Saved a village from a swarm of ghouls two weeks ago.”

" Hmm.... “

More silence.

“Do you, at least, sleep with a roof over your head? Eat three square meals a day?"

Involuntarily, her lips formed a smile and she quashed it. "Depends on the rewards" Ciri shrugged casually. "I still haven't mastered the art of haggling like Geralt, but I managed by hunting and foraging".

It must be the exhaustion from travelling, or putting up a strong front that Cirilla found herself slowly leaning towards his shoulder. What also surprised her is that when Emhyr draped an arm on her, she did not flinch. It actually felt good. Comforting.

"Daughter. If the witchers' lot is too much to handle and monster contracts pays for peanuts, imperial contracts are much more profitable. And if the world is out of monsters to slay, the imperial throne is still yours for the taking.”

Ciri sat up straight and glared at him, emerald eyes sharp as daggers.

"I knew you were going to spring that on me! "

His chest shook with laughter.

"Just a jest, daughter. You get riled so easily it’s cute."

She looked at him incredulously, his smile remained to confirm that he is indeed joking. A memory from her childhood surfaced: that of her father teasing her until she was red in the face from anger and he would laugh because he found her adorable, then he'd give her a hug, cooling her temper.

Ciri scoffed, shook her head and leaned against him once more.

"You are terrible at jokes....Papa."

She felt his chest rumble with suppressed laughter.

"So I'm told" and gave her that remembered hug.

-To be continued

(Photos provided by @ningnomaningnong edits and writing by me).

If you missed the first part, it’s here (I dont know how to html :D)

https://www.tumblr.com/blog/view/tygerlyla/686629329338318848?source=share

#cirilla #emhyr #cirilla fiona elen riannon #emhyr var emreis #nilfgaard #witcher #witcher 3 #witcher fanfiction #virtual photography #cd projekt red #photohop #wiedźmin

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percontaion-points · 9 months

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Firstlife chapter 10

Today’s review might be difficult for some; reader discretion is advised

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 10

“A covenant was offered to me years ago. My parents told me the offer was revoked. I’d done too much...”

“No,” Archer says. “No. An offer is made to every child and once made, it remains active until Firstdeath.”

Expression agonized, Clay whispers, “But...you don’t know the things I’ve done.”

“I don’t need to know. Nothing you’ve done can compare to the things I did, and yet, when I was ready, I was welcomed with open arms.”

The only thing I’m getting from this is that you can commit genocide and they’d still accept you.

Two Prynne guards approach our well-lit square. Just before they reach us, however, they veer to the left, as if deep, deep inside they know to avoid what their eyes cannot see.

Messengers in action. I can’t see them either, but I can see the result of them.

Surprise! There’s more to the world��worlds—than I ever thought possible.

And they never once think that there might be more than Myriad and Troika? That the beings who view all living humans as being cannon fodder for their war HAVE AN AGENDA?!

“You should have told me you were a guy before I showered in front of you,” I snap at him.

Unabashed, he says, “You’re in a mood. Is it that time of the month for you, too? Have our cycles finally synced?”

Again, as an author, you have the power to write literally anything. And the author actively chose to write Archer as a misogynistic pig.

“Have you accepted your importance? Have you realized you’re the final drop of water that causes the cup to overflow?”

For a war that’s been raging for millenia, I refuse to believe that a single person would somehow stop all of that.

“She doesn’t want you.”

“She doesn’t know what she wants.”

Hey bozos, not only is she standing right there, but she is also perfectly capable of making up her own mind.

“I won’t let you hurt her the way you hurt Dior,” Archer says through gritted teeth.

Dior?

“By the time I finished with your darling,” Killian says, his tone nothing but silk and heat, and yet I pick up the underlying note of his rage, “she was begging me for more.”

That rage...over a girl... Killian is doing his best to hide his feelings, but he’s failing.

He loved Dior, didn’t he?

I love how the author set up this trilogy about the eternal war between heaven and hell. And the two main love interests hate each other… Because of a girl.

The sky is nothing but snow, ice and rock—and falling straight for us.

Chapter 10 summary: Ten and Clay get settled, and Archer encourages them to take a nap. Ten wakes up from a nightmare to find Sloan over her. Sloan is insanely eager to jump Archer’s bones, but that excitement quickly dies when Ten explains that not only was this Bow, but also a TL.

There’s this really long scene where Ten leaves the magical hut to pee. The only thing missing from it is the actual description of her urinating. As she’s pulling her pants back up, she realises that Killian is there, and gets angry that he’d watched her pee.

The four of them go back to the cave, for no real reason. Clay then says that he’s done being indecisive about which side to choose. He had been reluctant earlier because he’d apparently done a lot of terrible things. Archer had warned him that you never know when your firstlife is going to end… Which is such a shitty thing to say to somebody who’s probably not even 20. There’s also this bit about Archer saying about how he’d escort the souls of dead children to the afterlife, where they’d finish growing, and then chose a side. After having been indoctrinated in Troika. Clay signs up with Troika, and then bro-hugs Archer.

Ten warns that they need to leave now, and they start to go. But right outside, they run into Killian, who starts to go at it with Archer. They start screaming about some girl named Dior.

Sloan wants to leave, but Clay wants to stay. Clay’s actions are confusing to Ten, because he met Archer a few hours earlier; why does he suddenly want to go to his secondlife immediately after signing?

The earth starts to shake around them, and they think that this is another battle going on around them. But with horror, they realise that the battles have loosened the snow and rock on the nearby mountain peak, and there’s now an avalanche.

#Firstlife #Everlife series #chapter 10 #Archer Prince #random background characters are random #Nobody fucking cares #what the fuck #shitty people doing shitty things #shitty authors writing shitty things #I would ask where the editor was but I think we all know there was none #Alrighty Then #Killian Flynn #Tenley 'Ten' Lockwood

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smokeybrandreviews · 2 years

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Bromance

I find the discourse around why Billy Eicher's Bros failed, absolutely fascinating. Both sides of the aisle are going hard in their respective ideologies and it's ridiculous. I'm no fence-sitter, if you've followed this blog long enough then you know I'm a borderline anarchist with common sense social views, but I feel like a lot of the very vocal dissenters in this argument, are missing the point. The Conservative Right would lead you to believe it failed because no one wants to be preached to, that Bros was Hollyweird politics being forced on people and the populace voted with their dollars. The Progressive Left would lead you to believe it failed because of homophobia. This feels like spin to cover up the abject failure of a gay film, a sentiment validated by a Rolling Stone puff piece claiming it's one of the greatest comedies of all-time. In its first week of release. Because, gay. While both are true in very small doses, the resounding truth in a Bros failure is the fact there's no audience for this thing.

Bros reads as a derivative, rom-com, cashgrab. It can effectively be Cliche Romantic Comedy number 12345, but gay. That's it. Bros feels like a movie we've seen before, but done much, much, better. Now, I say read because I haven't seen Bros. I have read various reviews and even a plot synopsis or two, and I just feel no desire to partake in this sh*t. Don't misunderstand me, I love rom-coms. Scott Pilgrim vs. The World is a romantic comedy and it's top twenty for me. I adore that film. Eternal Sunshine is another that really left an impression, as did the likes of Moonstruck, The Princess Bride, Kissing Jessica Stein, over Linings Playback, and As Good As It Gets. I'm sure I'm missing a few but those immediately come to mind. I am absolutely receptive to a gay rom-com (see Jessica Stein) but Bros came across as a movie i wouldn't care to see. Twenty dollars and two hours of my time is a huge commitment in this post-Pandemic age of recession. I'm even debating whether to see Black Adam in a theater and I f*cking love both The Rock and Capeflicks for these exact reasons! Do I really want to gamble on is Bros will be a fun watch knowing it's going to hit digitalis a ton of bricks because of all this controversy over its theatrical run.

At the end of the day, no one saw this film, gay or not. Like, the demo Bros was made for, didn't even show up. This movie appeared to no one. Cis men were driven away after the ridiculous straight hate campaign from Eicher and his production stooges, after it stumbled in its opening weekend. Women didn't go see it because why would they? They can't project themselves onto to, male, gay, leads and accept the fantasy enough to be immersed in escapism. The guys might have showed up but not nearly enough of them did and here we are. Bros might very well be excellent. They may have done some fun, interesting sh*t, with the rather uninspired Rom-com tropes we all already know. Hell, I may see it when it drops on streaming but asking for people to brave the theater when gas is forty-seven dollars a gallon feels extreme. Admittedly, this is all the opinion of a straight black dude who loves boobs so I might not be an authority on the nuance of this moment but I kind of feel like the vast majority of the movie going audience probably feels the same. Minus the very loud extreme ends of both sides. Those cats are all assholes, just in different ways.

#Bros #Some ol' bullsh*t

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smokeybrand · 2 years

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Bromance

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liquid-luck-00 · 3 years

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Where There Is Change

Identities

@maribat-bdbwm

First *** Previous *** Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Once the crashes died down, Alfred returned with a pet carrier and a smug Jason.

"Not to say this revelation isn't important, but in this moment it is not." She spoke as she stood up. "What is urgent now is to return Damian to his original state. Do you know who was the person who caused the transformation?" She looked up at Dick, because of the call she heard he may have been there when it happened.

She specifically looked at Dick, directing her question. He on the other hand opened and closed his mouth, debating on how much he could tell her.

"I don’t know who they were, but I can remember some pieces of their appearance if that helps any." He started to speak. "One was definitely a girl, ashy blonde, brown curly hair and was wearing equestrian riding clothes in browns and white. And I’m sure she had ears and a tail. The other I can’t tell if they were male or female, so they wore dark grey shorts, black stockings, and an orange crop top. Their arms were stained black to their elbows, the most unsettling purple eyes. Ears and nine tails the same orange as their hair."

"So, in other words a horse girl and a human nine tailed fox. Who turned your, our brother, into a black panther cub." She repeated aloud. It’s not that it sounded impossible, the thing is it sounded familiar. Not just vaguely, but headache inducing familiar, unfortunately in more ways than one.

---

*Flash Back*

A silvery blue portal opened and out stepped a human Trixx and Kaalki.

"When did you two leave?" Tikki flew up to greet them.

She wasn’t paying them much attention. She noticed that they changed back and all three went back to the miracle box. Yet she did not think it was important to ask them on their exploits.

*End*

---

She stayed silent, lifting her hand, thumb under her chin, index on her lower lip. She was thinking. She closed her eyes and took a breath.

Trixx.

This was Trixx’s magic. Meaning that it could be reversed, but they would need to be the one to do it.

She opened her eyes. Her voice was level, but her voice held authority. "Trixx." Was all she said.

---

Marinette stood so still he could have confused her for a statue. Then her eyes snapped open, her blue eyes almost glowing.

Then she spoke. Dick couldn’t believe her voice, it was eerily level, but held such authority that he stood straight. "Trixx."

A beat passed and nothing happened. Then she repeated the same word.

"Trixx." This time the smallest sliver of anger or was it disappointment lingered on the word. Although he knows she isn’t talking to him, her disappointment weighs on him.

Then an orange ball of light appeared in the center of their little circle. "I’m sorry. I didn’t think that the angry, stabby, bird vigilante was going to be your brother." It then turned around and saw him. "Oh, you are the blue bird." It flew around his head. "Oh, and this now makes a lot more sense. Did you realize that there was a peacock in this house." The mini little fox flew over to Alfred.

"Yes, I realized that Trixx." Marinette answered. "But you being distracted will not distract me."

"But it’s practically fate." The fox, Trixx, exclaimed while flying circles around Alfred’s head.

"Him not realizing you cursed Damian, is what should be considered luck."

"But birds don’t usually turn on foxes."

"Miss Marinette, how is it you have a kwamii with you?"

"Not just one." The fox piped up before Marinette could open her mouth.

"Trixx."

"Sorry I’ll go back."

"Not until you turn him back."

"But Mariiiiii." The fox pleaded. "Fine." They relented. "It isn’t permanent and will completely fade in 72…60 hours."

"Thank you."

"Miss Marinette, do you have multiple kwamii on your person?" Alfred asked her.

She panned for a moment; Dick assumed she was thinking of her response. "Robin." She pointed at Damian still in the carrier. "Nightwing." She pointed at him. "You fit as Red Hood making you Red Robin." She pointed between Jason and Tim respectively. "That would make you Batman himself." She turned to Bruce. "Am I correct Peacock?" She turned to Alfred.

"You are a ladybug." Alfred answered her, but Dick was just confused with this girl.

"I am also the Guardian, not just a ladybug." She returned.

"Okay, wait." He had had to interject. "You just assumed who we were because of a flying fox, you are calling Alfred a Peacock and he is calling you a ladybug. Respectively what does that mean."

"Was I wrong?" She asked in a deadly calm, tilting her head, the only indication of her confusion.

"You are correct, Ladybug." Alfred confirmed, causing everyone to turn to him wondering if he's lost his mind.

She nodded and then once again with resolution. "He calls me ladybug because I am the holder of the Ladybug Miraculous, as he is the designated holder for the Miraculous of the Peacock."

"So how does that play into you figuring us out." Was asked by Tim seemingly awake now.

"That was made by a combination of what Trixx said, my basic knowledge of heroes outside of Paris, and my personal ability to recognize people as akumas." She shrugged.

"That's the second time you've mentioned akuma, Marinette." Her father space up. "You know more than you let on."

She chuckled at this. "Of course, I do. I am Lady Scarlet, the holder of the Ladybug Miraculous, and heroine of Paris."

"Shit! She didn't need your help to be a hero B." Jason screamed.

"That alone explains so much more than you believe." Bruce sighed walking out of the room, Tim and Alfred following him, Jay following not soon after.

He would have followed, he was just out of the door, if he didn't stop when she spoke.

"Are you going to behave?" He backtracked a few steps and watched her, he leaned against the door frame, in full view.

She held up a single finger then knocked on the air. Held up two fingers then tapped her index and middle finger to her thumb. It took him a moment to recognize the ASL, but Damian picked up on it quickly.

He meowed once and she went and released in from the carrier. Who then jumped on her bed, watching her. His gaze turned to him, and he blinked slowly, before going back to watch Marinette.

~~~~~~~~~~

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loki-hargreeves · 3 years

Text

Loki x Reader - Thanos controls You

Warnings: angst, mentions of torture, mind-control, fighting, choking, blood and gore, more angst (it's a lot ok)

Word Count: 5,8K

Summary: After failing to deliver the Tesseract, Loki has been living in fear that Thanos will one day find him again and seek revenge. You have been missing ever since Loki was imprisoned after what he did in New York. Little did Loki know that you were with Thanos all along. During the events of Infinity War, Thanos makes you battle Loki in order to obtain the Tesseract

Author’s Note: I know Thanos doesn’t have the mind stone at the beginning of Infinity War but it’s fiction and I’m gonna do what Marvel does best, ignore canon. Let’s blame the Other’s powers, okay? Please enjoy this angsty little thing! :)

YOUR POV

“There’s room for more!” Loki yelled over the cries of scared children and their crying families. There was no way he would send a half-empty escape pod on its way to Midgard. That’s when he saw a child all by herself a little further away. She was clinging onto the wall for dear life and the ship trembled due to the impact of getting shot at. Her parents were nowhere to be seen. Dead. Loki felt sick to his stomach when he knew they were most likely dead. Thanos’ children were slaying kids and their parents heartlessly and they had the audacity to say they were being rescued. That their deaths were part of something bigger than life itself.

They viewed Thanos as a god who was being merciful even when he ripped a beating heart out of someone's chest.

Loki’s heart clenched in his chest painfully. Before it would be too late, he made his way to the tiny child and picked her up carefully. She seemed to recognize the prince but she wasn’t afraid of him. Instead, she hugged Loki so she wouldn’t fall out of his grasp.

“Where’s mommy?” The girl sounded absolutely petrified.

Loki didn’t know what to say as he made his way to the pod. Once he reached it, he saw a woman by the entrance.

“You’ll be safe here,” Loki promised the child as he handed her over to the lady. That’s all he had time for as he returned to the corridor. A particularly loud blast made him stumble over his feet and he had to catch his balance by taking support from the metal wall. The lights flickered, which meant the electronics of the ship were injured. There was a strange smokey smell in the air, which lingered with the irony stench of blood.

Loki couldn’t believe this was happening. Had Thanos finally come for him? Or did Thanos somehow know of the tesseract? Either way, if Thanos succeeded, he would kill two birds with one stone. The thought of this being all his fault made Loki nauseous. Guilt was nibbling at his skin and he knew it would eat him alive in the end. He never wished for this to happen!

As he ran down the corridors frantically searching for Asgardians that needed help, he heard different kinds of cries. People were letting out guttural screams. Others were pleading for their lives. Listening to the massacre that was taking place was worse than any nightmare Loki ever recalled having. They were all drained after Ragnarok and now Thanos had found them. It was haunting how ruthless fate could be.

Footsteps began to approach Loki and they were awfully close. Too close for his liking. He was quick to grab his daggers and turn to face whoever dared try to sneak up on him. When he saw a familiar figure, he nearly dropped the blades from his hands. Seeing you there was like shock itself punched him in the face.

You were there, real and clear as day.

How long had it been since the last time he saw you?

Ever since Loki had found out about his true nature, his life had gone downhill. After he ended up with Thanos and went through pure hell with him, he had changed. During his time away from Asgard, he had only missed one person truly - you. You, who had been by his side through everything. You, who hadn’t loved him any less when you saw his deep blue skin and those crimson red eyes that in Loki’s mind resembled blood. You, who had seen him as the rightful king of Asgard when everyone else betrayed him. The light of his life, the angel that had cared for him even when he felt like a monster.

You, who hadn’t been on Asgard when Thor brought him back to face Odin in trial. Loki had spent a lot of time in his cell, alone. He waited for you to appear but you never did and no one ever told him why. They rather left him to drown in his own vicious thoughts. It wasn’t until Loki pretended to be Odin that he began to learn what had happened on Asgard during his exile.

The people at the palace loved to gossip. Some claimed you had stolen a ship and left Asgard behind for good, that living as Loki’s widow had been too hard for you. In Loki’s darkest hours, he wondered if you truly felt ashamed for being associated with him. So ashamed in fact, that you had left it all behind and started anew. Sometimes, he believed that, but it never stopped him from trying to find you. He had searched night and day but it seemed like you had vanished into thin air. It had killed him more every day living in the unknown. His only wish had been that you were okay.

Now there you were, looking like you had never left. In a moment of pure shock, Loki couldn’t even begin to comprehend how you appeared on the ship - seemingly out of nowhere. He was happy to see you, despite how appalling everything else was at that moment.

“Y/N,” Loki spoke your name softly and dared to blink. When you were still there as he opened his eyes, he felt goosebumps all over his skin.

You looked at him so innocently, but then he noticed that something was off. The look in your eyes was cold. You weren’t in your typical Asgardian gear. Instead, you were dressed in dark armour that Loki could’ve sworn he had seen before, but he didn’t know where. Nevertheless, it made him feel uneasy.

“It’s been a while, Loki,” You attempted a smile as you walked closer to him, your husband. It still counted since he had never truly died, right?

Loki didn’t stop you as you walked right up to him. His eyes never left yours. Part of him wanted to kiss you, to hold you and feel you were real, but the shrieks in the background reminded him of how dangerous everything was. The daggers disappeared from his hands and Loki held you by your shoulders. He needed to see that his hands wouldn't go right through you, that he hadn't lost it.

“You need to get off this ship, Y/N!” He told you seriously. There was profound fear in his voice.

Instead of being worried at all, you just smiled back at him.

That was so unlike you.

“Y/N, do you hear me?”

“Oh, I do,” You confirmed nonchalantly, “I’m not going anywhere. Not yet.”

A bloodcurdling cry startled Loki. They were coming closer and closer. The two of you wouldn’t be safe in that passageway for long. By now, his heart was racing with his thoughts. He felt panic settling into his bones.

Before Loki could say another word, you cupped his face rather gently. The fact that you didn’t seem disturbed by what was happening was eerie to Loki. He knew that you had a heart much bigger than anyone else he knew of. The version of you he remembered wouldn’t have been so calm. Something was terribly wrong.

“I need something,” You admitted and batted your eyelashes. Before, Loki would’ve found that quite adorable, but at that moment it was so wrong. He had been so ecstatic to see you and know you were alive, but now he almost wanted to run the other way.

“What?” Loki barely found his voice at that point. He felt sick and heartbroken. This had to be a nightmare, the worst kind.

“The Tesseract, Loki. I really need it,” You blurted it out.

Shivers ran down his spine. How did you know about it? Why did you even care? He was unsure if he could even trust you with the knowledge that he had it in his possession. Usually, he would’ve trusted you with his life without any hesitation, but you had been gone for years and returned like this, with bizarre motives.

You returned at the same time as Thanos and you were looking for the tesseract. Loki wasn’t a fool. He finally put two and two together and the realization was too arduous to believe. The idea of you and Thanos even meeting was something Loki could only see happening in his worst nightmares, but he was afraid it had already occurred. If so, he needed to hear it from you,

“Is Thanos making you do this?”

The tone of his voice seemed to offend you as you sent him a nasty glare. Your softness turned harsh and you pushed Loki against the metal wall with a loud thud. Before he could get out of the way, you grabbed your own dagger and pressed it against his neck so it was ever so slightly pressing against his exposed skin.

“He is not making me do anything. I am glad to serve the all-mighty Thanos. I won’t fail him, unlike you,” You snarled at Loki spitefully.

Never in a million years had Loki imagined this moment to happen. One where you would be fighting against each other. It was supposed to the two of you against the nine realms. Being held like that by the one person he loved more than anything was tearing his heart to shreds, but he tried not to show it.

Deep down, he knew it wasn’t truly you. He knew exactly what Thanos had done to you so you would act like this, and it only made it hurt so much more. It felt like someone was pouring salt into an open wound, and his entire body, heart and soul were wounded.

“Now give me the tesseract and we will be on our merry way,” You tried to obtain it again. This time you seemed more serious. Was it the tone of your voice or your weapon pressed against his pulse? Loki didn’t know.

“I don’t have it,” Loki lied as smoothly as he could because even thinking straight at that moment felt impossible. The world was caving in around him at supersonic speed.

You pressed the sharp edge of the blade closer to him, feeling how just a little bit more pressure would've broken his skin “You’re a great liar, my dear, but I know that’s not the truth.”

Loki didn’t want to fight you, but he didn’t see another way out. And it was good for him that you had learned most of the tricks from him. Your every move would be more easily predictable for Loki. He had to find a way to distract you.

“Why do you need it?” That was a foolish question. He knew damn well what Thanos would do if he got his dirty hands on the infinity stones.

“Why do you care?” You didn’t answer his silly question.

Suddenly, Loki grabbed your wrist tightly and yanked your arm to the side. He tried to be as gentle as he could, but Loki knew you wouldn’t go down without a fight.

At least your weapon fell out of your hand, but you knew how to defend yourself without it. So did Loki.

Loki tried to turn things around so he would have you pinned down against the wall, but you didn’t let him get that far. As he turned you around so your back was pressed firmly against his chest, you kicked your legs against the wall hard, pushing both of you back. Loki took the biggest impact as he fell on the floor, with you on top of him. Quickly, you rolled out of his grasp, turning around in one swift movement so that you were now sat on top of him, with your legs tightly against both his sides.

A powerful orb of magic grew above your fingertips and you brought it closer to Loki’s face - so close that he could feel the heat of your burning powers. The magic created an electric sensation on your skin. It felt like you pushed your fingers deep into warm sand. Toying with it was exhilarating, and seeing the astonished look on Loki’s face made it so much better. The green light of your powers cast light in his eyes, only deepening the look of disbelief that was painted all over him.

“It’s sweet that you’re trying not to hurt me,” You taunted him at that point, “but that doesn’t mean I won’t hurt you.”

“This isn’t you, Y/N,” Loki groaned. He was so sure of himself.

You tilted your head and smirked, looking at him like a cat would at a mouse. “I don’t know, Loki. It’s been a while,” You explained casually and leaned closer and closer to his face, stopping when your noses brushed against one another. By now, Loki was frozen on the spot. He was trying to come up with a plan and he felt hopeless.

“I’ve changed,” You whispered to him and felt tempted to kiss him, to taste him. Would you taste his fear? His heartbreak? You were sure it would taste sweet.

“The torture must’ve been painful,” Loki pushed his feelings aside. Yes, he felt like his heart had been ripped to shreds, but he had to do something. He had to surprise you, even if it would hurt. Words could hurt more than actions, and if Loki wanted to survive and to help you, he needed to reach the real you even if the only way to do so was cruel.

How did he know? You narrowed your eyes and surprisingly, found yourself waiting for him to continue.

"I was trained well."

"Trained?" Loki spat out harshly, "I know you're afraid. He has promised you something worse than the pain he has inflicted on you already. It won't happen. If you let Thanos continue his reign, he will not care about your loyalty!"

"Shut up!" That was too much for you. With tears brimming your eyes from anger, you put your hand over his mouth to silence him. He didn't budge and you didn't know why.

You pushed the memories aside. The painful memories of the time Thanos first found you. It was wrong to think of it as torture. No, he had shown you what you're truly capable of. It was training. Training to become a stronger person after the hell you endured on Asgard.

But now that you found yourself thinking about it, it seemed like the memories were all blurred as if you were looking into the past through a broken lens. Someone had spilt oil all over it and the pictures were warped.

"I know you have it," You needed the tesseract. "Give it to me and then this will all be over," you removed your hand from his mouth because it looked like he wanted to speak.

Loki knew that if he’d push you, your magic could burn him, but at the moment he couldn’t come up with another plan. He couldn’t just stay on the ground as people were being killed on the other side of the wall!

"Okay," Loki blurted out. Okay?

For a moment, he had you surprised which was the perfect distraction.

Loki grabbed your wrists tightly and pushed you to the side, but not quickly enough. You released your magic and it graced the side of his face, making him growl out either in pain or frustration - or both. The two of you rolled over and this time Loki was on top, holding your arms pinned above your head. You were trapped because of one mistake. You couldn't believe Loki had used the element of surprise to turn the situation upside down.

Furiously, you tried to kick your legs free, but he had you pinned down beneath him and Loki was strong. There was no point in squirming, you had to come up with another idea.

The two of you faced each other and Loki revealed his face and the damage you had done. Your magic had burned his skin and left a bloody cut on his eyebrow. It had just barely missed his eye. If he lived, it would surely leave a scar.

You flinched when a drop of his blood hit your cheek and it rolled down the side of your face.

"What are you going to do, kill me?"

Loki could never bring himself to kill you. He wouldn't be able to live with himself with your blood on his hands. No. He had other ideas. Loki remembered what it was like to be under Thanos' control. He remembered how much it hurt to even think about the torture. He had to remind you, he had to make you see that this wasn't the real you.

"This version of you, or I certainly hope so," Loki replied mysteriously. Before you could ask him to elaborate, Loki released your wrist and slammed the palm of his hand against your forehead. In a split second, you were in a different place - in your head. You could've sworn you heard him mutter "I'm sorry," before everything turned black.

It was hot, burning hot. Metal chains were attached to you and they were glowing red. Torching. You could only scream in pain as the metal sunk into your skin, your bones, your nerves. It felt like he had chained your mind and with the tiniest movement of his finger, he could make you do his dirty work.

He, Thanos, was sitting on his throne. He was the puppet master and you the puppet. He didn't look at you fondly. No. He was smiling as he watched you cry your lungs out, letting out animalistic growls as the pain got worse. It was so overwhelming that every once in a while, you would scream until you passed out. But every time, one of his children would be there to wake you up.

It was time for another round. And another. And yet another. Would it ever end?

Each time you tried to resist the chains, the strings that were sewn onto you and connected to his fingertips, it hurt more. Eventually, you learned that allowing the strings to tighten around you made it hurt less. It almost felt good, like a long embrace after a long day.

"I don't want to hurt you, my child."

Lies. You knew that all he said were nasty lies, but sometimes it was easier to believe lies than the truth.

"Make it stop!" You would beg him. How long had you been there?

You could remember Thanos touching your face gently, which was so comforting after everything you had endured. At the same time, it made you sick. You couldn't believe that the one who had caused you distress could have such a gentle touch.

"You're ready," Thanos had realized. The Other had appeared right before you and his fingertips were pressed against one another, making him look like he was deep in thought. You had no idea what they were doing, but the next thing you knew was that you no longer felt pain.

The chains, the strings, they were all invisible. It looked like you were free, but the weight of the metal was still pressed against your skin. Had you imagined it?

No,

Deep down you knew that the strings were still attached to you, but they had only made it seem like you had a choice.

"Excellent," The Other's voice surprised you. You merely blinked and you had returned to the vessel. Loki was above you and the Other was standing right there, "You found him."

The Other used his powers to push Loki off you. Shock had made your entire body numb and you couldn't scramble up to your feet. It felt like your limbs had been turned to stone and you were anchored to the floor.

Loki got up slowly with his arms raised in surrender. He was well aware of the powers the Other had and Loki wasn't going to fight him now. If he followed you for long enough, then maybe just maybe he could come up with a plan. Loki looked at you as you finally got up. As you stood next to the Other, you couldn't believe your legs carried you. Something was so wrong. You felt sick and you couldn't shake it off. It felt like something had snapped within you, but you didn't know what.

"He is waiting for you," The Other explained as he turned to walk away, most likely to wherever Thanos was waiting.

Loki had no choice but to follow, and you walked behind, making sure he didn't try to escape.

Why did Loki make you remember that? What did he think he would obtain with making you relive something so awful? It hadn't worked, right?

There he was. Thanos was standing by a hole that had been ripped into the side of the ship. Magic was keeping it sealed so the vacuum of space wouldn't suck everyone into it. But still, the emptiness of space wasn't frightening at all compared to the titan who was standing right there.

Loki swallowed thickly as he saw him again. It had been years but he remembered everything like it had happened yesterday. Seeing Thanos standing in the middle of the piles of bodies, in the room that smelled like smoke and blood, was sickening. Thanos hadn't just killed a part of Loki. He had just slaughtered these innocent Asgardians with the help of his so-called children. He had taken you.

He will make you long for something as sweet as pain

Loki closed his eyes and took a deep, shaky breath. They had stayed true to their threats.

"I know what it’s like to lose," Thanos turned around now that he knew Loki was there. At long last. Thanos had not forgotten what Loki had failed to do, and Thanos was a man of his words.

"To feel so desperately that you’re right yet to fail, nonetheless," Thanos continued dramatically and slowly made his way closer to Loki. He saw Thor on the ground, bloodied and weak. The brother of Loki. As tempting as the idea was to torture Thor right in front of the god of mischief, Thanos had different plans. If there was only one way Loki would ever give him the tesseract, it was going to be in order to save you. You were Loki's true weakness.

"It’s frightening. Turns the legs to jelly. I ask you, to what end?" Thanos looked Loki right in the eye. He could see that Loki was afraid, yet Loki never looked away from him. He was either too proud or fearless. Thanos had liked that about Loki initially. But he had failed Thanos greatly. It had cost him infinity stones.

"Dread it. Run from it. Destiny arrives all the same. And now, it’s here. Or should I say I am," Thanos finished his dramatics because it was time for action, to turn the wheels and see the bigger picture. This was the end of an era and a new beginning for a different universe. In Thanos' mind, only he could bring balance and order. He gestured for you to walk up to his side.

Too afraid of the idea of what would happen if you disobeyed, you walked right up to Thanos, feeling like a fly that was willingly flying into cobwebs. When you were close enough, you kneeled and dipped your head so he wouldn't see the worry in your eyes. It wasn't there before.

"I didn't obtain the tesseract from him, but I am sure that he has it, father," You muttered quietly. Why did you say that? There was a pounding headache growing within your skull. You didn't know what was right or wrong anymore and you couldn't fight it either.

Father

Loki clenched his jaw as he followed the situation closely. Hearing that made his blood boil. He wanted to rip Thanos apart after this. Never in a million years had he imagined this, to see you pledge your alliance to Thanos, kneeling before him and respecting him. Thanos didn't deserve that. Hell, Thanos didn't even deserve to look at you. It was wrong.

At that moment, Loki worried that his trick hadn't worked. That the memories hadn't awakened anything within you. That it was all too late now. This was the end, the one thing in life that was inevitable.

"I know, my child," Thanos let out a sigh. Then he grabbed you by your jaw like he had done before, forcing you to face him. "I know he has it," He repeated and suddenly his touch turned violent. He closed his hand around your neck tightly and you gasped for air helplessly. Your hands - tiny compared to his - grabbed his fingers and you tried to pry them apart, but he was tougher than you. Panic shot through your entire body when you realized you couldn't breathe. It turned your blood to ice and your poor heart was beating so hard you were afraid it would explode.

What was he doing?

The moment he pulled you to your feet, so high that you had to stand on the tips of your toes, he spoke, "The tesseract or her life," Thanos smiled devilishly, showing no remorse. He didn't care about you. You were a pawn in his game and if you would die at his feet, he would just walk over you and carry on.

"You choose," Thanos put the weight of the world on Loki's shoulders.

Loki wanted to rescue you from that monster, but he wasn't stupid. With all of Thanos' children surrounding him, he knew that he would be dead before he could reach you. Nonetheless, it didn't mean he wouldn't try. Seeing you clawing at Thanos' hand, fighting for something as simple as air and not getting it was heartbreaking. Loki's body was trembling with hatred and hurt. Tears blurred his vision and he struggled to keep his composure.

How had it all come to this?

The thought of Thanos with the tesseract was haunting. Soon he would have all the stones and he would destroy reality as they knew it. But Loki could live with that. He couldn't live knowing you had died when he had a chance to save you. Perhaps he was selfish for choosing you over the entire galaxy, but Loki didn't care. Nothing mattered if he would lose you again.

"Alright, stop!" Loki made up his mind. "I choose her," Finally, Thanos released his grip on you and let you fall on the cold ground. Your hands wrapped around your throat gently and you coughed painfully. It took you a while to finally breathe again, which was a huge relief for both Loki and you.

And now Loki was holding the tesseract. It was so bright that it painted the space blue. It was almost too bright to look at. The power within the stone was so strong, you could sense it like heat from the sun in spring after a long and cold winter. Loki was tempted to use the tesseract to grab you and escape, but he quickly shut those thoughts away. Thanos would follow him for the end of all days.

"You...you really are the worst, brother," Thor was following the situation to the best of his abilities. He spat out blood as he watched Loki holding the cube. It made him sad. Everything they ever knew was destroyed in the name of power, pure and raw power that the tesseract could offer. Was it worth it?

Loki glanced at Thor who was too weak to even get up. He didn't care too much about what he had to say. Then he looked at you. There you were, on the ground struggling to breathe after Thanos had crushed your windpipe. There was bruising on your skin that would only deepen with time. Time that you possibly wouldn't have after this.

He saw the tears running down your face, but you didn't sob and whimper. It seemed like you were as still as stone. You couldn't bring yourself to face Loki.

"I assure you," Loki found his voice and he addressed both you and Thor with his words, "the sun will shine on us again."

What did he mean by that?

You were ashamed to tilt your gaze to see him, to see the tesseract. The damn infinity stone had ruined it all! It was why Thanos had wrecked Loki, why he had destroyed you too. Why so many people were now dead. If you had one wish that could come true, you would wish for the tesseract to be destroyed forever.

Thanos had his back turned to you. Loki was slowly but surely making his way closer to the titan, almost like he was afraid to move but he forced his body to comply. Why? Why would he trade the tesseract for your life? It seemed like whatever spell you had been under had worn off. You were free, but it was more terrifying than being under Thanos' control under these circumstances. He didn't need you, and soon enough the vessel would be blown to bits. All of you, even Loki.

Would you be able to tell him how sorry you were?

"Your optimism is misplaced, Asgardian," Thanos wasn't fond of Loki's strange choice of words.

"Well for one thing I'm not Asgardian," Loki replied quickly. It sounded a little bit witty, which was confusing. Where did the boost of confidence come from? Was he up to something?

"And for another," He continued dramatically. This time it was Thanos' turn to be confused.

"We have a Hulk."

Everything that happened after that happened so fast that you could hardly keep up with it. Loki dropped the tesseract and he leapt toward you. Thanos barely had time to turn around when a huge, green beast appeared out of nowhere and it seemed angry. It was eager to fight the titan.

Loki had you up on your feet in no time and the two of you ran away from the immediate danger. He led you to one of the many corridors on the vessel until no one could possibly see you. They were too distracted by the Hulk to even think about Loki and you. It wasn't until he was right in front of you that you could comprehend what was going on. He was kneeling on the floor and you were sat against the wall for support. Your hands were trembling so hard, it seemed like you were freezing up and you couldn't make it stop.

Loki had tricked Thanos.

He was relieved when you didn't fight him, yet he was unsure if it meant you were no longer under Thanos' control, or if you were simply too tired to fight.

He cupped your face gently and searched for answers in your expression. Back in the day, he had been able to read you like an open book.

You put your hands around his wrists and pulled him closer. You were desperate for the comfort he could bring in the midst of the living hell you were stuck in. How did he not hate you?

"I'm s- I'm sorry," You whimpered, finally cracking like a plate that had fallen on the floor. "I'm sorry."

"Shh, it's okay," Loki couldn't possibly let you apologize for what had happened. He was possibly the one person who understood exactly what you had gone through and what it was like to follow orders from that monster. There was not an ounce of judgement to be found in his heart.

What mattered now was that you were together again. You could come up with a plan, but you had to work fast. As much as Loki wanted to hold you and comfort you, to feel that you were real, he knew there wasn't enough time for that.

"We need to get off this thing," Loki's mind was running a marathon as he tried to come up with an escape plan.

"They're gonna blow it up," You explained, feeling how bad your lips were quivering as you spoke. The moment Thanos had what he came for, they would leave and destroy everything they'd leave behind.

Shivers ran down Loki's spine as he heard that. It only confirmed that you had to act quickly. Loki wasn't sure how long the Hulk could fight Thanos. Would they be able to rescue Thor? How much time did they have?

The blood in the wound you had caused on his face was beginning to dry. It looked gnarly and all you wanted was to make it all better. Knowing that you had hurt him made you sick with guilt.

"I'm sorry, Loki. I didn't w-want to fight you," You sniffled, breaking Loki's train of thought. For the first time, he felt lost. He didn't really know what to do. Were there any escape pods left?

"I know," Loki assured you. "I know that. I was in your shoes when I was on Midgard," He explained briefly, unaware whether or not you knew of it. Had Thanos talked about him to you?

A sense of impending doom weighed you two down. If this was the end, then at least you were together, right? You and Loki against the nine realms, you would face the end together if there wasn't another way out. Whenever you had pictured your final day, you had imagined something entirely different than this. You would be old together, with hundreds of stories of your shared life. You would be surrounded by people you cared about. It would be calm, the exact opposite of this.

"I love you," You needed to tell him that. Any moment could be your last. The world would cave in and you would be gone forever.

Loki hated how much that sounded like a farewell, but at the same time, it had been so long since he had last heard those three words, let alone from you. Perhaps it was sick and twisted, but it made him smile.

"I love you too," Loki was sure of it. He had never stopped loving you and he didn't think he was even capable of that.

It seemed like you acted on instinct. You found enough strength to push yourself right against Loki. There was no hesitation in your actions as you kissed him. Loki closed his eyes when he felt your trembling lips pressed against his. Your scent, still sweet and familiar despite it all, punched its way into his lungs. He held your face gently but the kiss was passionate, almost despairing.

You wanted to scream out in agony because at last, you were reunited with Loki but not in the way you imagined. You felt like the shell of the person you were before, and now you knew for a fact that Thanos had done the exact same things to Loki. That titan had killed your souls beyond repair. But all you could do was kiss Loki and hold him and hope that he could feel how sorry you were. You didn't want to let go, afraid that if you did, it would all end. Just like that.

Loki broke the kiss, and for a moment you rested your foreheads against one another like you had done so many times before. It was comforting. You both wanted to stay close like that, but you recognised that you couldn't. Letting go of each other and getting up on your weary feet was so incredibly difficult, but it had to be done.

The world around you began to glow brighter. You quickly held onto Loki, startled as the mysterious light surrounded the two of you.

Loki held his breath as he studied the warm glimmering magic that had swallowed you. In between the bright rays of light, he saw all the colours of the rainbow. Shimmering. He saw reds and blues, yellows and greens, shining brighter than the other and it changed smoothly.

The Bifrost

He didn't know how or why, but he knew for a fact that you were in the magical portal. He couldn't see beyond it anymore. He couldn't feel the floor beneath his feet. It was like he was levitating mid-air, with you tightly in his arms.

Heimdall must've conjured the forefathers, letting their powers flow through him one last time. Where to? Loki assumed that anywhere would be better than where they had been mere seconds ago.

And it was a miracle.

A/N: I think it would've made more sense for Heimdall to send Thor or Loki to earth rather than the Hulk. So that's why I ended it like that

I'd absolutely love to hear your feedback! <3

TAGS:

Loki: @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @castiels-majestic-wings @lucywrites02 @myraiswack @prettysbliss @weirdfangirl2416

Forever Taglist: @iraniq @embrycallsgirl @blackroseyaz @badass-psycho @r-alexandra01 @p3aches13 @your-pixels-are-showing @disasterren @iamsuperjenna @yuna-belikova @ornella0910 @optimisticpeacecollector5 @thehumanistsdiary @your-pixels-are-showing @klanceiscannon14 @i-have-arrived-bitch

#Loki #Loki fic #Loki fanfiction #Loki oneshot #Loki x You #Loki x Reader #Loki x Y/N #Loki Odinson #Loki Laufeyson #tw angst #Loki angst #Loki/You

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kuronanox · 3 years

Text

Bad Dream - Kira Izuru

Kira looks down at the paperwork in defeat as he groans and tried to reorganize them. The wind from the window was gusting everywhere causing them to fall on the floor.

Shuffling noises were in the background as he cursed under his breath.

A small feminine hand had reached over his as Kira eyes looked up to meet (Your Name).

"Need some help Kira Fukutaicho." She asks him as he looks down at the papers again.

"Did you need something?"

"I came to turn in some papers! I've been feeling under the weather."

He props the papers on the desk to even them out and turns to her. "If you don't feel good, get some more rest (Your Name)."

She shakes her head and hands him her work. "I can't let you run the Squad all alone."

Kira slightly smiles at her as he gave his attention back to his work.

She took in his features and noticed how much he didn't smile anymore, during the academy days he was so innocent and cheerful. Growing up they were close but now it seems as she didn't know him anymore.

"Did you want to come over for dinner tonight?" She asks him as he looked up from the papers.

"Who's going?" He asked with curiosity, Kira didn't wanna intrude on her personal life especially when one of the reasons why he was feeling down was because of her relationship with Hisagi.

"Just me and Shuhei! But don't worry he won't mind! I think he kinda misses you." She winks as he wanted to frown.

"Don't you think it's weird?" He says a bit rudely not noticing his tone of language as her eyes widen from disbelief. Noticing her face sadden a bit he cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it in that way. I'm actually behind on the Captains papers so I probably won't have time." He added.

"Well you don't have to do it alone! Shuhei is in the same position so maybe you guys could do it together and we can all drink a bit! I'll even invite Matsumoto Fukutaicho if it lightens the mood!"

Kira didn't want to be in the same room as (Your Name) and Shuhei. He tried to think anyway possible to escape tonight but she seemed on insisting he come out.

"I guess, what time tonight?"

"Around 8! I'll cook dinner!" She says with a smile on her face as she ran out happily.

Knowing it made her happy that he was coming out was okay with Kira even though he wasn't in the mood to socialize.

"Kira?" Shuhei asks with a smile as he got back from work while leaning his zanpakuto on the wall.

"Yes! He's seems down a lot recently so I thought inviting him to dinner would be a good way to have fun, oh Matsumoto is coming too!" (Your Name) said as she pulled out some veggies and protein out from the fridge.

Shuhei wrapped his arms around her body as he kissed her temple as she smiled while cutting the broccoli.

"That was nice of you, I've been worried about him." He tells her letting go and washing his hands to help prep with dinner.

"And I've been worry about you." (Your Name) states to Shuhei as he raises a brow and started to wash the rice.

There was a knock on the door before he could say anything.

"Hey we're here! Open up!" Rangiku cheerful voice rang around from outside as Kira was standing behind her with a tired expression.

"Hey! We just got started on dinner! Come on in!" (Your Name) welcomes them into her and Shuhei shared home.

It was Kira first time here, he took in the view. There was nothing really special that stood out to him except a few decor and a guitar in the living room. There was a few picture frame of the couple as they smiled to each other.

There was jealousy in the blonde lieutenant as he looked away from them and set a bottle of sake down he brought.

"Kira! Finally see you've been out of your own quarantine!" Shuhei greets him and pats him on the back.

"Slightly busy that's all." He tells the older man and smiles.

Rangiku sat down and cracked a sake open while they waited for dinner. She was in a cheerful mood today. "Oi we haven't been able to drink together in a while!" She tells Kira as he chuckles and gets himself a small cup.

"Likewise."

As him and Rangiku took small talk he could see in his peripheral version Shuhei and (Your Name) happily cooking together. There was small kisses stolen from each other as they were in sync.

"Dinner is served!" Shuhei yells placing down the rice, salmon and veggies along with miso soup to wash it down.

"Wow a chef in the house." Rangiku says as they all dug in.

"You guys started without us!" (Your Name) pouts noticing that two bottles of sake were already empty from Kira and the busty women sitting next to him.

"Ooo sorry that means y'all have to catch up!" She says as they poured themselves a cup.

Kira slightly smiles at (Your Name) cuteness as he took a bite of the fresh cooked fish. A part of him was thankful that it wasn't them three alone. He already didn't wanna talk much but the alcohol was kicking in and he was also thankful rangiku was there.

He didn't notice how hungry he was till a pair of chopsticks had put down a new piece of salmon in his bowl nonchalantly. It was (Your Name) as she was conversing with Rangiku about their new beauty routine with Shuhei listening and putting his input.

It felt like he was in the academy again, when he forgot to eat or wasn't eating enough (Your Name) was always feeding him and taking care of his health. The lieutenant knew she brought him out tonight so he could enjoy himself more.

"Thank you." He says as her flushed face smiles at him and went back to her conversation.

He blushed but it wasn't noticeable because of all the alcohol he already consumed.

"Kira you are particularly quiet for being drunk already!" Rangiku chimes in as he was lost for words.

"I- I am not drunk!"

"Sure you are! You finished 3 bottles alone already!" Shuhei laughs as he just groaned.

It was later in the night when it started to get rowdy, they all had a few to many as they were shouting to each other.

They were playing card games and gotten into it. They decided ride the bus because apparently kisuke had showed Rangiku a while back when she was in the human world. He told her it was a drinking game a lot of college students were doing so she wanted to hop on the trend.

"Kira you're on the bus so you have to keep drinking till you get these cards right!" She said as he took sips of the beer they had brought out for back up.

As he was drinking (Your Name) and Shuhei were cleaning a bit since it was getting messy.

Him and Rangiku were having to much fun that Shuhei retired for the because he had an early morning but he insisted on them staying and enjoying themselves.

By the time Kira won the card game he was sauced and couldn't walk in a straight line. He knew drinking with Rangiku was going to be a disaster.

"Did you want me to take him back?" He heard Rangiku ask (Your Name) as he was slumped on the table.

"It's okay, he can stay for the night. We work together anyways so I'll wake him up tomorrow." (Your Name) tells the older lady as she left for the night.

"Okay big boy, help me will ya." She tells Kira as she laid out a futon for him to sleep in comfortably.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as he walked towards the bed made on the floor. Tripping on his foot they fell over as she gasped.

"Kira you are crushing me!" She silently whispers so Shuhei wouldn't wake up from their shenanigans.

"Just let me hug you (Your Name)." He says breathlessly with his eyes closed. Kira wanted to enjoy this moment because he knew she could never be his.

"Kira?"

He looks down to her lips as she looked up to him innocently. A part of him didn't want to be the bad guy but what was so wrong with being bad once in a while.

He knew it was the alcohol bringing out everything he was holding in, he was going to regret his actions the next morning. Cupping her face he kissed her parted lips. It didn't help that she wrapped her legs around his waist as he groaned. Letting his tongue slip into her mouth.

She flipped him over so she sat on top, just when things were beginning to get spicy he opened his eyes and.

"KIRA IZURU! You wake up this instant now!" He heard a voice called out as he jumped out of bed and looked to his side to see a concern (Your Name) next to him. She sighed in relief and pushed his hair out of the way from his face.

"Are you dating Hisagi San?!" He asks quickly out of breath as she tilted her head and slightly smacks his forehead.

"Ow!"

"Hello! What were you dreaming about? I'm dating you stupid." She says as he calmed down a bit and laughs rubbing the back of his neck.

"It was just a dream, thank goodness."

(Your Name) looked confused as she jumped on top of Kira and laid her head on his chest.

"Whatever it was Izuru I'm always going to be yours." She says as he laid back down and rubbed her back. He was cheesing to himself to know (Your Name) wasn't going anywhere.

"I know, it was just a dream." He says as she kissed his lower lip and grinned.

"I love you, you know that."

"Of course, I love you too, always."

(Authors note: just a cute fluff I made! Have y'all seen Kira now! He's making me simp! noooo I already have my bleach bias and he's breaking it!)

#bleach #tite kubo #bleach x reader #bleach imagines #bleach oneshot #bleach oneshots #kira izuru #izuru kira #bleach kira

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edenmemes · 3 years

Text

cyberpunk 2077 starters

more to be added !

❝ the wider the smile, the bigger the lie. ❞ ❝ it’s called a reputation. you should try having one. ❞ ❝ if only you were the one calling the shots, you would already have the city at your feet. ❞ ❝ seems like you’ve got a real problem with authority. ❞ ❝ well, then it’s a good thing i’m on your side then, huh? ❞ ❝ you’re starting to remind me of me. ❞ ❝ only people who know me real well can use my real name. ❞ ❝ hope that’s it for last requests. not sure i can handle more. ❞ ❝ look at me - see this? this is a look of un-fucking-surprise on my face. ❞ ❝ actually, i don’t think of you at all. ever. ❞ ❝ wanna part ways on good terms. as friends. ❞ ❝ listen, i know i fucked up a lot of things. either let down or used every last person who gave me their trust. ❞ ❝ been a rough year...and to make things worse, i fell in love. ❞ ❝ funny how you still manage to surprise me sometimes. ❞ ❝ haven’t managed to get my head straight yet, not after everything that happened. ❞ ❝ hey, look at me. right in the eyes. choose your next words carefully. might be the last choice you ever make. ❞ ❝ i’m a master of cuddling, too - got a black belt, multiple disciplines. ❞ ❝ tsh...gonna miss you something awful. ❞ ❝ here come the test results: you are a horrible person. ❞ ❝ there is a saying in your country… one moment, it will come to me…ah now i remember! go fuck yourself. ❞ ❝ you need anything, i’m here. ❞ ❝ wanna see me give up? sounds like something you’d do. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry, do you hear me poking around your personal business? digging through your past? ❞ ❝ what you did for me, i’ll never forget it. ❞ ❝ it’s hard to believe, but it looks like everything’s gonna be alright. ❞ ❝ you ain’t dying yet. i got you. ❞ ❝ see ya in the next life, friend. ❞ ❝ i allowed my temper to flare and for that i apologize. even i can get carried away at times. ❞ ❝ shame. was starting to like you… ❞ ❝ i’m just glad your mother didn’t live to see this. the heart should break but once. ❞ ❝ there are not many like you, but without you the world would have long turned into shadows and dust. ❞ ❝ you put a barrel to my skull not so long ago. ❞ ❝ there’s a difference between being an idiot and believing people wanna do good. ❞ ❝ you plot, you plan, you calculate, and weave webs so tangled you sometimes lose yourself in them. ❞ ❝ i’m a serious man. and serious matters are what, if not all, that concern me. ❞ ❝ you’re tough as nails. a warrior without mercy. ❞ ❝ i’ve managed one thing for now. not to fuck this up... what we have. ❞ ❝ you got a short fuse, sure, but there ain’t no dynamite in that soul. ❞ ❝ really think i can make it? survive this? ❞ ❝ if there’s nothing you can do to help me, then…what the hell do i do? ❞ ❝ i’ll kill anyone who gets in my way. you included. ❞ ❝ if they find us, they won’t bother with arresting and interrogating, do you understand? ❞ ❝ everyone admires you, but you know that your only reward will be the next task you’re given. ❞ ❝ just don’t fall in love with me… ❞ ❝ promise you’ll try to get some sleep? ❞ ❝ it often seems that you’re on your own, but always remember you have a team you can count on. ❞ ❝ whatever you’re planning, make sure you see it through to the end. ❞ ❝ it can get tough when it feels like there’s no end to it in sight. ❞ ❝ i don’t need this world anymore, but i need you. ❞ ❝ it doesn’t matter how well you do something, as long as you look good doing it. ❞ ❝ i always felt like my mission was to cross the ultimate frontier. that frontier is death. ❞ ❝ something in me died back then. i just couldn’t handle it. ❞ ❝ would you take a bullet for me? ❞ ❝ what, a little guilt creeps in and that’s that? you give up? ❞ ❝ it’s an awful place...it is no wonder you are losing your mind. ❞ ❝ i realize you’re there, always were, and a wave of relief washes over me. ❞ ❝ remember when you were asked: quiet life or blaze of glory? shame you chose wrong. ❞ ❝ ooooooooh, i get what’s going on here. you’re jealous. ❞ ❝ think dangerous; be dangerous. think weak; be weak. ❞ ❝ it’s true what they say. you’re good. really fucking good. got a stick up your ass, through. ❞ ❝ hah. my mind. that’s…that’s a touchy subject. ❞ ❝ y’know, they say time is the best teacher. i used to think that was true. ❞ ❝ you know what, sweetheart? we’ll have plenty of time to tear at each other’s throats later. ❞ ❝ i have to sit and think…about everything. ❞ ❝ no really, it’s ok. it just scraped me. ❞ ❝ a peaceful death in this town? guy won the jackpot. ❞ ❝ sorry you had to witness that. things just get complicated sometimes. ❞ ❝ who you work for? start talking! ❞ ❝ well, well….looks like fortune favors the stupid, too. ❞ ❝ day’s not over yet. you still have a chance to piss me off. ❞ ❝ what’s free comes most costly. ❞ ❝ sometimes two people find themselves at the wrong place at the right time. ❞ ❝ i’m in this city, free to do whatever i want with my life, but…am i really free? ❞ ❝ i sense anything going wrong, i’m out. ❞ ❝ drop by if you ever want to talk. or if you don’t we can just sit together in silence. either way, i’m here for you. ❞ ❝ i’m nobody, i’m a zero. ❞ ❝ you know, i still got that contract to kill you. ❞ ❝ have you known love? do you know what it is? ❞ ❝ talked in your sleep, you know. ❞ ❝ tsomeone…someone should give you a checkup, see if you’re ok. someone you trust. ❞ ❝ goodbye, and please - stay away. you’ve done enough already. ❞ ❝ one thing we can’t do is be afraid of others. ❞ ❝ that the pick-up line you settled on? ❞ ❝ right…so, gonna stop by? or gonna make me grovel? ❞ ❝ i’ve missed you, you know, heh… ❞ ❝ it seems all good, like nothing bad ever happened. ❞ ❝ i…i was angry…i must’ve lost control. ❞ ❝ if you wanna change the world, there’s always a price to be paid. ❞ ❝ you ever wake up in the middle of the night…and not know who you were for a second…? you ever feel like you weren’t really ‘you’? ❞ ❝ here i feared you’d forgotten about me. ❞ ❝ all right. you know why we’re here, don’t you? say you do. ❞ ❝ you don’t realize it, but…you’ve given me something beautiful. ❞ ❝ i’m really starting to feel like your puppet. ❞ ❝ if you wanted my attention, you just earned it. ❞ ❝ the stronger survive. you’re either somebody or you fizzle out into nothing. ❞ ❝ now answer my question. honestly. forthrightly. are you here alone? ❞ ❝ my whole life’s a fucking cosmic joke. ❞ ❝ i know that it might seem like you’re trying to help, but i’d rather that you just left us alone…otherwise things won’t end well. ❞ ❝ so you can be nice when you feel like it. ❞ ❝ it’s always good to have the strength of others to support you too. ❞ ❝ you’re worth more than you think. trust me. ❞ ❝ talked in your sleep, you know. ❞ ❝ well, i slept like a puppy. that’s a crazy shoulder you have there. ❞ ❝ is that a quiver in your voice i hear? ❞ ❝ what makes someone a criminal? getting caught. ❞ ❝ the only limit to what you can do is what you’re willing to do. ❞ ❝ you only have to look at you. a venomous spider wearing the mask of a nice lady. but i will not be fooled. ❞ ❝ ugh, trust issues, again? thought we’d talked it all out. ❞ ❝ what the fuck is going on? i feel like i’m not in control of anything anymore… ❞ ❝ sorry, but, i’d rather be alone right now. ❞ ❝ remember, a while back, you told me to give you a solid kick in the pants if i saw you diving into the stupid pool again? ❞ ❝ sit your ass down a minute, honey, and breathe. ❞ ❝ lately i feel like i’ve been ranting and raging, so i just want to make sure you know i appreciate what you did for me. ❞ ❝ i’ll just lie here a while, by your side, gazing at the stars. ❞ ❝ when the time comes, it will be my life for yours. ❞ ❝ how did we grow so far apart? ❞ ❝ no more mayhem, no more shady-ass schemes. done with that. ❞ ❝ say it. say it out loud. not for me, but for yourself. ❞ ❝ a pathetic attempt to get under my skin. ❞ ❝ i loathe it - this whole ‘playing tough in the face of death’ thing. ❞ ❝ the road to the stars is always paved with darkness. ❞ ❝ wait up! don’t do this. you can still change your mind. ❞ ❝ dammit, no matter how hard i try, i can’t forget you... ❞ ❝ plenty of others out there’re more deservin’ of life. but even so... i’d never wish you dead. ❞ ❝ truth is everything’s going off the rails. i feel worse and worse. ❞ ❝ i’m nowhere near as tough as you and i can’t pretend to be anymore. ❞ ❝ you don’t seriously think i’ll just up and leave you? i’m with you - through thick and thin. ❞ ❝ i’d say i’m happy to see you, but it’s not good to lie. ❞ ❝ i’ll get us through this, you’ll see. ❞ ❝ i’m just happy, like, dumb happy, you know? you’re really amazing. ❞ ❝ you’re playing with fire. don’t dare cross the line. ❞ ❝ i’m afraid things won’t be the same between us if i tell you the whole truth. ❞ ❝ do you even know what i had to sacrifice to get where i am? the price i paid? ❞ ❝ your first time here, isn’t it? want some advice? go the fuck away. ❞ ❝ when someone tells me to not worry, they’re usually hiding something. ❞ ❝ it’s not easy talking about what’s biting me at the ass. ❞ ❝ just promise me one thing: don’t forget me. ❞ ❝ legends - know where you’ll find most of them? the graveyard. ❞ ❝ ah, you try to provoke me. is this wise, you think? ❞ ❝ i can lead others away from the darkness. ❞ ❝ the more i say everything’s okay, the more i feel like i’m straight up lying. ❞ ❝ you need to take a few deep breaths. then rethink all this, hard.. ❞ ❝ you can call me back. do you know why? because i am here for you. ❞ ❝ why’d you wanna meet me here? for the view, or you turning sentimental on me? ❞ ❝ know what? think i figured you out. ❞ ❝ if not for you...i’d be long dead. several times over. ❞ ❝ you’re adorable. didn’t realize you still had a child-like imagination...and intelligence. ❞ ❝ death walks in your wake. ❞ ❝ just trying to live with it. survive, actually. ❞ ❝ the world doesn’t forgive. it eats people alive. but you - well, you survived. ❞ ❝ everyone i’ve met so far says i’m far too gone. ❞ ❝ hey, come on, you’re not the one at blame here. ❞ ❝ don’t make the same mistake i made. say goodbye to the people you love. ❞ ❝ well, aren’t you just bursting with a can-do attitude? ❞

#i may have . . .. accidentally deleted the original one

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rikalovesrice · 3 years

Text

Brother

A ficlet inspired by this thread on Twitter, some “Douxie During Trollhunters” stuff I was working on a while back, and my love for Douxie and Jim being best bros UwU

@aaronwaltke and @biancasiercke if you guys ever wanna give this a read (Absolutely zero pressure! Just sharing💙)

Also a big thank you to my good friend @nikibogwater for proofreading for me! ^_^

Please enjoy!

~ ~ ~

Douxie still remembered the day a seven-year-old Jim Lake Jr. came through the door to Benoit’s, tugging his mom in after him by her hand. His big toothy smile when he exclaimed that it was his mom’s birthday and that he was paying for all of it, even the drinks.

“Are you now?” Douxie asked, handing the pair of them menus. They’d chosen a two-top right next to the windows, the backdrop of Arcadia under a soft orange sunset in full view.

“I helped mom clean,” Jim said. “Like a lot. So I have lots of money.” He crossed his arms, throwing his mom, Barbara Lake, a cheeky grin. His black hair was on the long side and messy, sticking up and flopping in various places including over one of his eyes, though it did virtually nothing to hide his pride and excitement.

“Can you believe he wanted to spend his whole allowance on me?” Barbara said.

“Uh yeah! You’re the best mom ever!” Jim leaned towards Douxie, feigning a whisper. “She’s the best mom ever.”

Douxie chuckled. “I’m sure. And it looks like she’s got a great son to match.” Jim beamed, though a hint of shyness bloomed on his face.

“I’m sorry, what’s your name?” Barbara asked.

“Oh, quite alright. You can call me Douxie. I’ll be your server tonight.”

“Well thank you, Douxie.”

“Mom, can I get a milkshake?”

“Why are you asking me, little man? You’re the one paying.”

“Oh yeah.”

One shared entree of well done steak, a milkshake, and two free slices of cake (accompanied by Douxie’s acoustic guitar and a birthday song) later, Jim caught Douxie by the hem of his jacket after he’d set their receipt down.

“Wait, Mister Douxie I uh…” Jim dug deep into his pockets, rummaging with a look of determination.

Douxie smiled, kneeling down beside him. “What is it, little man?”

“Um, wait, wait I need to...Oh!” Jim smiled big as he pulled a single coin out of his pocket. He held it straight out to Douxie, his eyes seeming to sparkle. “This is for you! Mom said that you should always tip people.”

Jim placed the coin in the center of Douxie’s palm. It was a nickel, a small bit of rust darkening ol’ Tommy’s profile. Douxie glanced over at Barbara, who was gazing at her son with an expression nothing short of pure endearment, glowing with pride. Douxie closed his fingers over the nickel and held it to his chest.

“A fine tip, indeed,” he said with a soft smile. “Thank you very much, Jim.”

Jim beamed. Then he was springing out of his chair, giggling as he gave Douxie a hug. How long had it been since he’d been smothered by someone who wasn’t Archie? Maybe long enough, because Douxie’s brain stopped working at the gesture, as did his arms. It registered more with every second that passed, the feeling of Jim’s small arms wrapped around him and his head on Douxie’s shoulder. Even without seeing his face, Douxie somehow knew Jim was smiling into his jacket. Something welled up in his heart, warm and touched. Douxie hugged Jim back, one hand on his back and the other gently holding his head.

“You’re awesome Mister Douxie!” Jim said as he pulled back, his hands still on Douxie’s shoulders. “Mom was really happy.”

“Hey now, I’m not the one who bought her dinner tonight.” Douxie ruffled Jim’s hair.

“Alright, Jim, Mister Douxie has to go back to work,” Barbara said softly. Jim’s expression fell and he began to wring his hands.

“No worries.” Douxie gave Jim’s shoulder a squeeze, tilting his head to look Jim in the eyes. “Chin up, buddy. Next time you come in, I’ll still be here.”

Jim beamed. “Cool!”

“Go on, then.”

Jim hopped to his mother’s side, taking her hand. When he was distracted by one of Douxie’s co-workers wrestling with a malfunctioning blender, Barbara reached into her purse and pulled out a bill. She slipped it into Douxie’s hand, silently mouthing a thank you. Then the pair were off, stepping back out onto the streets of Arcadia under a pleasant evening.

Douxie unrolled the bill.

Twenty dollars.

His eyes shot to the window in disbelief, catching Jim giving him one last wave goodbye. A deep breath turned into soft chuckling. Douxie waved back.

See you, little buddy.

~ ~ ~

The morning Archie reported Kanjigar’s death, they’d booked it to the canal. The last thing they wanted was for the Amulet of Daylight to wind up in the museum or in some kid’s backpack. Douxie would pick it up and then head right back to Arcane Books. So a brisk ten minute walk later, they were peering down the deep slope of the canal and spotted what must have been the remains of the Trollhunter. A heap of broken stone, just out of reach of the shadow of the bridge. Douxie closed his eyes, taking a moment to honor the fallen Protector of Trolls and Man. Wondering if, somehow, Merlin was doing the same.

“Alright Arch, let’s go — “ Before they could take another step, what looked like a boy on a bicycle suddenly launched over the other side of the canal, suspended in the air before diving back down and landing on his wheels. The boy skid to a halt and turned to holler behind him, up from where he’d come.

“Jim?” Douxie whispered, recognizing that head of black hair and those skinny legs. “A bit late for school, isn’t he?” Then Douxie felt a pinch of panic seize him. He prayed the kid would stay away from that odd pile of rocks.

“Come on Tobes!” Jim hollered.

And not a second later…

James...Lake.

A deep, echoing voice rumbled out into the atmosphere, buzzing in Douxie’s ears. Shock and disbelief struck Douxie like a manticore’s tail. He and Archie shared a look. The panic spiked.

Douxie watched, his heart beginning to pound harder and harder, as Jim faced the stone rubble, slowly removing his helmet. Another familiar face, Toby Domzalski, came struggling down the canal, falling onto his face as Jim passed under the bridge and approached what was left of Kanjigar.

“Do you think he heard the voice?” Archie said.

“No...It can’t be…He’s not…” It couldn’t be. Jim wasn’t a troll. Jim wasn’t a troll. And yet —

James Lake.

The voice rang out again. Jim yelled and fell backwards in surprise.

“That pile of rocks knows my name!” Jim exclaimed, scrambling closer on his hands and knees. Douxie stared, mind still suspended in shock but gut starting to sink with dread as Jim dug around the rubble, eventually unearthing the Amulet of Daylight, its distinct soft blue glow ever hard to miss.

Everything in Douxie wanted him to somehow swipe it from Jim’s hands.

Because not him.

Not Jim.

But Douxie also knew better.

“What should we do, Douxie?” Archie asked. They ducked behind a tree when Toby started shouting for someone to reveal themselves. Made sense he would think it was a trick. Only magical beings or the chosen could hear the Amulet.

Only magical beings.... Or so Douxie had thought. Jim slipping the Amulet into his bag was a nail in the coffin.

“Well...we can’t take it now,” he said, eyes still trained on the boys. “The Amulet... seems to have made its choice….”

In the distance, the school bell of Arcadia Oaks rang out. Jim and Toby hurried back to their bikes, quickly mounting and taking off. When they were long gone, Douxie stepped out from behind the tree without a word, sliding down the canal and standing over the pile of stones. He stared off in the direction the boys had left, his mind reeling like nothing else, trying to comprehend what he’d seen and what it meant.

Why it had to be Jim.

Archie joined him, climbing up on and inspecting the rubble.

“I know...the Amulet doesn’t make mistakes,” Douxie said quietly. “But...a human Trollhunter? And he’s only a child…” His voice quivered, pangs of worry and dread striking his heart.

“It’s...certainly a first,” Archie said, leaning a paw on Douxie’s leg. “I’m not sure what to make of this myself.” There was a long beat of silence before Archie spoke again. “What do you want to do, Douxie?”

What could they do? Was there anything to be done now? That and there wasn’t anyone he could discuss this with, at least who would know more.

If only you were here, Master… Douxie thought, one hand balling into a fist. He stewed in his thoughts for a moment longer before scooping Archie up onto his shoulders and heading back up the slopes of the canal.

“Douxie?” Archie said.

“We’ll keep doing what we’ve always done,” Douxie said. “Watch...and protect.” He didn’t have any answers. But it was done. The new Trollhunter had been chosen.

Something stirred in Douxie’s chest, growing stronger as he remembered the smiling face of a seven-year-old boy who’d tipped him a nickel. Stronger still because Douxie knew. He knew what it was like to be so young and have so much, far too much, thrust upon him. Having his hand and the growth of his strength forced. The secrets that had to be kept, even from the ones he loved most, for their own safety. Pain he hadn’t known was coming.

The loss.

The loneliness.

The weight of the world.

When Douxie retired to his cot that night, he approached the small shine of silver on his nightstand. No, he didn’t have a clue what any of this meant. But what Douxie did know was that he’d be Jim’s greatest ally.

He picked up the nickel and held it tight, a promise burning deep within him.

I’ll protect you.

~ ~ ~

Author’s Notes :

So I imagine that Jim and his mother ended up not frequenting the diner as much since Barbara was always so swamped and Jim was learning how to cook more at home. So Jim eventually just forgot about his first meeting with Douxie. But Douxie of course still continued to look out for him as best as he could. And I believe this is why Douxie saw Jim as family, even though he seemed to have only known him for a short time. In reality, though, Douxie always loved the kid💙

God bless and thank you all so much for reading!💙

#rika tries to write #tales of arcadia #Big Bro Douxie #douxie #hisirdoux casperan #jim lake jr #barbara lake #toby domzalski #tales of arcadia headcanons #this was fun heehee #this is my favorite bromance ever i swear lol #is so precious how can you not love them #can't wait to see my boys again #21st OF JULY LET'S GOOOOO

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vickyvicarious · 4 years

Note

do u have any atla fic recs? all time faves? can be shippy or not

Fun fact, I am incapable of holding back on reclists. In other words: brace yourself, anon. There’s a reason I put most of this behind a cut.

First off, these are almost all Zuko-centric, because I shamelessly play favorites. I’ll sort them by author rec, gen, shippy, and then by other characters because honestly the numbers break down well that way. Within those categories it’ll be more just as I think of it, so no special meaning to the order. I’m not always good about bookmarking even my faves, so some excellent stuff will no doubt be missing, especially since I haven’t read a lot of the more recent stuff yet/forgot some really old stuff, but this will definitely still give you plenty of fic to enjoy.

There’s a good number of FFN links on here so apologies to people who dislike it, but a lot of great stuff is still on there so give it a chance.

Author recs

Everything by @awesomeavocadolove Such hits as Another Brother (Zuko adopted by Hakoda pre-S1), and currently has a Zukka soulmate fic I’ve been meaning to start reading, as well as Unchained Melody, one of my favorite Zukka fics ever. Always quality, you can’t go wrong.

Everything by KimberlyT. I do not kid. She’s written a variety of ATLA fic ranging from Zutara/other romance to gen, seriously emotional to cracky cabbagebending. I think my favorite is probably Mismatched (S1 Zuko adopts a baby) but honestly just go read it all.

Everything by @emletish-fish. She has a very fun writing style and honestly her end-of-chapter notes on why she’s made the choices she has are fun minimetas worthwhile in their own right. Some of her top fics are the Stalking Zuko series (S3 suspicious Katara to Zutara) and The Worst Prisoner (the Gaang kidnaps Zuko in S1 and can’t get rid of him). I think there’s still a good amount of her fic that can only be found on FFN so check there too.

Everything by @botherkupo. Especially her Undying Fire series (healer!Zuko) but also just literally everything she writes, it is all so great. Tends toward Zutara but strong gen fics as well sometimes and a lot of fun. Check it all out!

Everything by @muffinlance. Loves to toy with her readers’ emotions in the best of ways. Tons of fantastic gen Zuko-centric AUs, I have adored every single fic I’ve ever read by her, can’t praise them enough. Very productive as well, her tumblr is a hub for the ATLA renaissance and her fics inspire lots of others. Has also organized a fanmade ATLA coloring book for charity so get that once it’s out. In the meantime read everything she’s written.

Everything by Haicrescendo. My favorite is What We’re Given (the series where Zuko finds more air bisons and raises them), but there’s a lot of good Zukka fic too. I tend to steer away from explicit works in this fandom unless it’s a smaller part of a much longer plot-centric fic, so there are a number I haven’t read, but I really like the Pokemon!AU Zukka.

Everything by @gaycinema. I really love the EK fight club series (Zuko fights in Rumbles/etc.) but all of it is a good read. Some Jetko, mostly a lot of introspective or emotional oneshots. Which isn’t really a great depiction of how good they tend to be, you’ll just have to read them and find out. You won’t regret it, trust me.

Everything by @captainkirkk. So far eight stellar fics, starting with kind Fire Lord Zuko and ranging to Floating Tea Shop!Zuko who doesn’t want to hunt the Avatar. I love her style and have laughed out loud at multiple of these.

Gen Zuko fic

Bringing Out the Blue by maguena1. [unfinished, long] Definitely worth the read. The first ATLA fic I ever got really sucked into. The Blue Spirit never gets knocked out so Aang doesn’t know his true identity; he joins the Gaang on a recurring basis, while Zuko attempts to tell himself this is only for information on how to catch them, they definitely aren’t his friends.

It’s Impossible by Sandra Phillips. [abandoned, long] One of the earliest Avatar!Zuko fics (sort of) and a really interesting take on some spirit stuff.

Embers by Vathara. [complete, long] A landmark fic in the fandom, and for good reason. I didn’t love everything about this fic, but it is very well-written and an absorbing read certainly worth the praise.

the art of description by incandescens. [oneshot, short] Five descriptions of Zuko and Toph’s field trip from various perspectives. Short, sweet, and funny.

Breaking Point by Kryal. [oneshot, short] Zuko isn’t banished but instead sent to serve in the Home Guard. I love Zuko loving his people, and alternate canon explorations, and this is exactly that.

The Alternative by Lunatique. [oneshot, short] The reason Zuko is so determined is because he fears what will happen if he isn’t the next Fire Lord. An idea I support in canon, to a degree, written well.

Hands and Knees by gigerisgod. [oneshot, short] Zuko reflects on the choices he’s made, and experiences he’s had, when joining the Gaang. A nice introspective fic.

Relative Misery by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Toph complains about her family and Zuko takes her on a field trip. Not a fic I take too seriously, but funny in a sad way.

Second Nature by lazyartisan. [possibly abandoned, long] An AU stemming from Zuko’s capture at the North Pole. Well-written and characterized, an old favorite that I actually find needing to reread to give you more detail, but I can promise it’s good.

Year One by peroxidepest17. [oneshot, short] Lessons Zuko learns in his first year being Fire Lord. I really like explorations of Zuko’s journey as Fire Lord and this is a lovely little window into that.

Soft by PenPistola. [oneshot, short] Zuko and Toph bonding after the Ember Island Players. Short and sweet.

The New Phoenix King by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] Fire Lord Zuko is overthrown, and no one but him is bothered at all. In fact they help. Hilarious crack.

First Name Basis by JoeMerl. [oneshot, short] There’s some popular posts going around Tumblr lately about Zuko not knowing the Gaang’s names, but this fic did it first back in 2008. As amusing as you’d expect.

Male Bonding by glamaphonic. [oneshot, short] The original ‘Zuko and Sokka bond and are also dumb idiot boys’ fic. Katara is permanently rolling her eyes.

it’s not the waking, it’s the rising by isamagicdragon, thegracious [ongoing, series, medium] Azulon tells Ozai to kill Azula instead of Zuko, which leads to heartwrenching fire sibs adventure. I haven’t caught up on the last chapter yet but god is it fantastic and also just a really interesting and new perspective on what could have happened.

Doe-Eyed by Anonymous. [complete, medium] Zuko is a baby, Azula is a loving big sister. More fire sibs and a great exploration on Azula’s POV of turning against Ozai.

kintsugi by discordiansamba. [ongoing, series, long] Zuko doesn’t have Iroh after being banished, and winds up hired as a guard to protect the frail Beifong daughter. Fantastic preseries Zuko+Toph found family fic.

Legacies by WildInkling. [ongoing, medium] Far in the future, a historian studies the journal of Fire Lord Zuko. Also, he was secretly a famous author but no one knows. A funny and poignant outsider POV.

#UndercoverZuko series by naggeluide. [complete, series, short] A completely cracky concept written straight enough to be actually quite touching in parts, but also just really funny. Zuko goes Undercover Boss on his ship pre-series.

Avatar Ficlets by JaggedCliffs. [series, oneshots, short] An ongoing series of disconnected oneshots, mostly post-canon and mostly Zuko-centric. Some a pretty fun, one is a great view on Zuko and lightningbending, all worth the read (and follow for when more come out).

The Blind Leading the Blue by BrusselsSprout. [ongoing, medium] An epic Zuko and Toph field trip set in S2. I love them and this.

half in the shadows, half burned in flames by r_astra. [oneshot, short] Iroh dies, Zuko gets caught on the Day of Black Sun, everything ends up all right but damn does it hurt getting there.

A Tale of Earth and Fire by chiiyo86. [complete, medium] Zuko and Toph are married for Politics in a FN Wins AU, and follows them slowly bonding as friends to beginning a revolution. They’re married but it’s not romantic, just some good friendship.

Eight Principles of Yong by psocoptera. [oneshot, short] An exploration of immediate post-show FN politics (sort of), calligraphy, and Zuko. Also has some lovely non-fighting firebending; I always love when people explore other uses of bending.

Healing Properties of Cinder Sage by Dawen. [oneshot, short] Zuko gets very sick in the Western Air Temple. Some good interaction when he’s new to the Gaang, and Toph+Zuko friendship.

We Ourselves Must Walk The Path by WinterSky101. [complete, medium] The Gaang agrees to make Zuko their prisoner in the WAT. Speaking of new-to-the-Gaang, tension, this fic has plenty of it, and also features some good Toph and Zuko.

Frozen by Aris Merquoni. [oneshot, medium] Zuko is captured in the NWT. Some politics, lots of angst, and eventually, healing. Also actually makes me somewhat like Hahn? Incredibly enough.

Reluctant Hero by PAW_07. [ongoing, long] Avatar!Zuko fic. I got to beta it way back when for a little while before I got too busy, and have always been a huge fan of this fic. Great concept, one of the best executions of it I’ve seen, and also one of the first. Definitely read this.

Morality Chain by Pureauthor. [abandoned, long] Azula and Zuko were always on each other’s side; how this changes canon. I love this concept and would happily read a lot more fics with it (please guys, I need more fire sibs).

A viper-lizard’s tales series by Yumi_Take. [ongoing, long] The world needs more of Zuko adopting pets and small children, and those are just facts. This only has one of the two, but it’s a EK baby! Jet plays a big role in this fic as well, a weird kind of uncle-ish to the baby/friend/murderer Zuko needs to watch closely and hold back kind of thing.

(life happens) wherever you are by howlikeagod. [ongoing, long] Katara doesn’t find Zuko and Iroh in the teashop, and canon takes a sharp left turn. Excellent Gaang fic.

The Best Path series by EudociaCovert. [series, ongoing, long] Zuko meets Jet in ‘Zuko Alone’ and winds up getting claimed as theirs by the remaining Freedom Fighters. Really really well-written, I got quite emotional over some scenes.

Shippy Zuko fic

Balm by Thyme In Her Eyes. [Maiko, oneshot, short] A sweet little fic about Mai’s thoughts on Zuko’s lightning scar.

The Black Games by Mrs. Pettyfer. [Zutara, complete, long] Hunger Games-esque AU. It’s the first in a series, and I lost interest after this one but I remember enjoying the fic and it was more personal preference rather than a drop in quality that had me leaving.

Lie To Me by Inkcharm. [Toko, oneshot, short] I’m not actually a fan of this pairing romatically (at least until years down the line), but this little fic of Toph and Zuko bonding through lying to one another is sweet. I choose to ignore the more shippy parts and enjoyed it.

Zutara? What the heck is that? by Ryxl. [Zutara, oneshot, short] Complete crack, have a good sense of humor and I think you will enjoy. Just the mental image of the Gaang finding a Zutara propaganda flyer had me chuckling.

The Three Chores series (1, 2, 3) by Fandomme. [Zutara, threeshot, short] Zuko and Katara slowly bond as he helps with chores. I will admit it’s been years and I barely remember this, but what I do recall is lovely and I always appreciate people lightening Katara’s load.

read the inscription by suzukiblu. [Zuko/Song, complete, series, medium] When Zuko is banished, he is left alone in the Earth Kingdom to fend for himself. Very touching, and I love Song in this.

Hooked by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] A classic ‘Jet didn’t see Iroh warming his tea’ fic. They’re almost all this premise but so many well-written and very long ones.

Something To Hold Onto by Wildgoosery. [Jetko, complete, long] The EK fell and Li stayed to fight with the Freedom Fighters to protect the city during its foreign rule. Jet didn’t see the tea fic that goes very AU from canon.

Foxfire by Rahar_Moonfire. [Jetko, ongoing, long] Zuko loses his memories Jetko fic, but with heavy spirit influence and lovable EK OCs, both of which I adore and should be in far more fics.

Once Upon A Teashop by anaer. [Zukka, Jetko, ongoing, long] Cracky Ba Sing Se AU that gets gradually more and more serious. Jet hits on Zuko a lot and Sokka gets a job in the teashop to keep an eye on both of them. Endgame Zukka but heavy Jetko, and both pairings are handled pretty well, not a love triangle that makes me too mad, although as always bear in mind Jet’s messed up.

Names by TGP. [Jetko, complete, long] I feel like I’m forgetting some more excellent Amnesia!Zuko fics, but this is one I do know of. To be honest I don’t remember it super well because it may be mixed up with other Jetko/amnesia fics in my mind, but I think it was really good. I’ll have to reread myself.

Epistles by Lady_of_the_Flowers. [Zukka, ongoing, long] I love epistolary fic and I love Zuko and Sokka bonding earlier in canon. I will be honest I haven’t read this in a long time and been updating all the while, but the premise alone (Zuko and Sokka become messenger-hawk-pals in S1 and then fall in love) is fantastic.

Ozymandias, King of Kings by Think_of_a_Wonderful_Thought. [Zukka, ongoing, long] Zuko rebels earlier and actually is sent to the mines, until he is ‘rescued’ by the Water Tribe. Dark but getting lighter over time, and more reluctant-to-rule Zuko which always wrenches my heartstrings. I prefer super loyal and dutiful to his people Zuko but this trope always makes me feel things.

Crossovers

Fallen Drops of Fire by Chasmfiend. [Fullmetal Alchemist, ongoing] Young Azula and Zuko somehow appear in Amestris, and encounter Roy Mustang. I adore the fire sibs, and their relationship in this strange situation is the star of this fic for me, but it’s also fun seeing the FMA perspective of these two.

The Dragon-King’s Temple by Kryal. [Stargate SG-1, long, complete] The best crossover fic out there. Zuko and Toph get stranded on the other side of a Stargate. I don’t know anything about SG-1 but it didn’t matter, the fic was fantastic, they were badasses, it explored language and culture from an outside perspective, and it was just a ton of fun. Must-read.

Other character fic

Loyalty by Julia451. [oneshot, short] The ship captain didn’t misspeak when he called Iroh and Zuko “prisoners” in the start of S2. A lovely look at a nameless character, giving depth to a small moment and humanity to a FN soldier which I always love.

The Only One by HarlowR. [oneshot, short] An excellent exploration of Azula’s mindset regarding Zuko, her desperate need to be loved and jealousy of him matching his own. I think Azula was one of the greatest tragedies of the show, and this fic makes me feel it.

Blood by theAsh0. [oneshot, short] Katara-centric thinkpiece on bloodbending and healing. Dark but really interesting.

Touch and Go by Cadence. [oneshot, short] After Iroh’s struck by lightning, Toph doesn’t let Zuko drive them all away. A momentary alliance and the seeds of friendship. More Toph-focused but still heavy on the whole Gaang.

Shortcomings by Menamebephil. [oneshot, short] Iroh thoughts during his imprisonment, on the theme of mistakes. I love this man and don’t understand why I am so drawn to fic about him that makes me sad.

Watch And Review, Please by Becca Stareyes. [oneshot, short] The Ember Island Players receive some constructive criticism... sort of. Funny and quick.

Azula Redemption Trilogy (1, 2, 3) by Mistress of Sarcasm. [threeshot, short] Second person and deeply introspective, three short little fics delving into Azula’s head and bringing her closer to redemption.

Echoing Refrains by catie_writes_things. [oneshot, short] I really like nuanced explorations of the whole FN royal family. It’s perfectly fine to write Ozai as pure evil bastard, but exploring what might have been or how he got there, or even as in this fic his talent for music being inherited by Zuko is really interesting too. Iroh-centric.

our curse by ohmygodwhy, and the last dragon by thesometimeswarrior. [twoshot, complete, short] Stay away if you don’t like to cry. In the first Zuko learns Ozai is executing Iroh, and isn’t able to stop it; the second is even worse because it’s Iroh’s POV. I put this in the other characters section because honestly I adore the second fic even more than the first, but they are both fantastically written and will hurt you a very great deal.

Finally, I’m not quite bold enough to put my own fic on a reclist, but just shameless enough to mention I’ve written a few Avatar fics I quite like if anyone feels the desire to check them out on my AO3. ;) But seriously give love to all the rest of these, they deserve it. (And as I said, there’s lots more excellent stuff, this fandom is so prolific and well-written!)

#atla #atla fic #fic rec #reclist #replies #anonymous #i'm haunted by the feeling i've forgotten a lot of stuff #but honestly i need to stop this is huge already #enjoy anon #Anonymous

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captainsimagines · 3 years

Text

To Topple A Giant || Finale

Summary: You had made it your mission to destroy even the smallest evils. When the opportunity arises to finally take down your own family after years of gaining their trust, you reach for it. And so does Steve, the man who represents a symbol of everything you hate.

Pairing(s): Steve Rogers x Reader || Avengers x Reader

Part 10 of 10 ~ Mini-Series

Warnings in this Chapter: strong language; slight reference to past sexual abuse; fluff

Word Count: 6,700+

Author’s Note: Guys... the finale! I’m crying actual tears lmao. Thank you for reading my words. It means the world.

The New Compound, July 2025, 7:09pm

The extra hour of sunlight this time of year was the easiest excuse to use for lounging on the roof to watch the sun set slowly. The compound no longer touches the clouds, but it still provides a rich view of the landscape across. There is no blowing of horns or shouts of the road hecklers; it’s a simple hour of solace to rest your chin against your arms, eat your snacks, and watch the sky change colors until nothing remains but the possibility of counting the stars.

“Hey… can I sit here?”

Your heart does a little jump at the sound of his voice. Traitor, you want to say to the pesky organ, but remain quiet as Steve wanders over to stand by you. He’s close enough that you can feel the warmth radiating from his body.

“Do what you will, Captain.” It’s simple enough of a response, you figure. You look down at the granola bar in your hand, turning it over a few times before rolling your eyes at the silly gesture. “Granola bar?”

He nods, watching as you snap it in half, and grabs the piece. “Thanks.”

You eat in cooperative silence. You take small bites, saving the granola bar so you have something to focus on during the length of time Steve decides to stay up here. He seems to be doing the same. “So what brings you out here? Another depressive episode?”

“I happen to have the perfect amount of depressive episodes, thank you very much.”

You snort, “Ditto.”

He takes a small bite and rolls the granola over his tongue. “No, I uh… I actually came out here to watch the sunset.”

“That’s sweet.” You shrug and admit your reason to him without a second thought. “I came out here to be sad, so.”

“Thor’s visit isn’t doing you any good?”

Thor is genuinely looking better. He’s started braiding his hair again, exercising with the help of Quill and Bruce, and participating in conversation without being addressed first. Seeing him makes you happy, but there’s still a glint in his eyes that reminds you of the lowest point of his life. And his lowest point was also yours. Sometimes you just want to forget. “He looks better. Healthier, got some light back in his eyes. It’s just whenever we look at each other we think of the same thing, I guess.”

Steve hums low and his shoulder brushes yours. “Loki.”

“It’s good to reminisce and all but I’ve got my limits,” you say.

“What was the special connection between you and Loki anyway?”

You grin at such an innocent question. Steve had never been close to Loki, didn’t really like him much, but he tolerated the God wandering about. You figure he genuinely wants to know. “I met him a little bit before I was assaulted. Everyone in the compound had their suspicions but no one asked. It was like they were avoiding me but also trying to help, I don’t really know. It was a weird time. And Loki, after we caught that dragon thing and really, really properly met, just straight up asked me why I was so distant all of a sudden.” Your chest warms at the memory. “I told him. And you know what the first thing he said to me was?”

Steve shakes his head a little and his eyes follow the tilt of your mouth. “‘What a cunt’.”

He startles himself into a laugh, the rough word not expected. You continue, “It was the first time I laughed in four months.”

Steve follows your gaze out to the sunset. He suddenly feels guilty, out of the loop, sad. You had only mentioned your assault to him once when you discovered Tony’s afterlife gifts, and he never brought it up again. “I’m sorry I didn’t notice you were-”

“Bucky had just moved into the tower and all of your attention was on him. I don’t blame you for not seeing me.”

It’s true, but Steve doesn’t forgive himself. He’s had two years to check up on you and because of his own selfish choice, he’s let you slip from his fingers. A question bubbles from the back of his mind — one that he doesn’t think twice about finally asking. If he does, he won’t ask. “Do you miss… me?”

“That’s a stupid question.”

“Sam put the idea in my head and—”

You sigh, “Steve, it’s the fact that he had to put the idea in your head. I can lie and say I’ve been all fine and dandy, or I can tell the truth and say I’ve been all fine and dandy. Take your pick.”

Steve stares at you for a long moment, mouth parting around invisible words. You’re staring at the sunset, avoiding his gaze but aware of his eyes on you, and he misses you. He truly, terribly, misses you. He decides he’s got nothing more to lose — he’s already lost you. “Well, I miss you. Do with that what you will.”

The two of you sit in silence for a few minutes: wind in your ears, legs shifting when too much weight has been applied, tiny sniffs of the nose. You don’t really know what to do with that information. Steve misses you. And you miss him. But he doesn’t deserve to know that. There’s been no apology from him, just things he’ll do to appease Sam.

At the three minute mark, you groan quietly and turn to him. “Are you seriously still going to watch the sunset up here?”

Steve smirks and watches you from his peripheral. He really has missed being on the receiving end of your various tones of voices. “I have been told that I’m impossible to get rid of, so yeah.”

His company isn’t all that bad.

Present Day, 2025, 9:07am

Perhaps there were good things that came from being locked up for over two weeks, alone. Last time you were locked up with the team and there was absolutely no special treatment after that. Now you’re resisting the urge to burst out laughing as Steve piles on the seventh massive pancake on your plate; or rolling your eyes as Sam keeps asking if you want more maple syrup — ‘What flavor? We’ve got six!’ — and Peter’s drowning Bucky with questions about who he encountered at the wedding.

“Is it the same as Netflix Narcos?”

“No,” you say bluntly.

“Is the Amazon series legit? Like, did Omar really kill the DEA agent?”

“No.”

“Is Omar as evil as they say?”

“No.”

“Damn,” Peter groans, piling a forkful of pancakes into his mouth. “Nothing’s as exciting as it seems, huh?”

Everyone looks to him, then to each other.

Steve clears his throat, “I was literally shot.”

Mouth full, you follow. “And I was abused for years.”

“And I had to deal with them while with HYDRA,” Bucky says with his mouth full too.

“Man, they shot at me. That counts,” Sam adds.

“And I finally got to use the shield. While being shot at,” Scott says.

You interject, “Technically I was being shot at.”

Even with such a cloud of violence, with gruesome memories — memories that would just be shoveled into the pile of things that no one is ever going to talk about again — you all begin laughing. Poor Peter missed out on a lot, but he can put two and two together. He knows this is his only chance to ask before you all lock it away and call it just another mission. It doesn’t hurt to humor him.

And even though you won’t mention it to any one else unless they ask — this wasn’t just another mission for you or Steve. Things have changed and the both of you know it. The aches within your chest are no longer negative or a bother, but instead are blooming flowers that have laid dormant for years. You’ve been plucking petals for as long as the two of you can remember, and it’s about damn time you both end up on the same page.

Everything has been quiet. Sure, there are bounties on everyone’s head but when is there not? You’ve pissed off more cartel leaders and gang leaders and political enemies than you can count on two hands, so this enemy territory is not all that foreign. You recognize the high trees, the gray skies, the mud beneath your boots. But you’ve got friends on your team that know how to climb those trees; friends on your team that know how to move the clouds and make the sky the talk; friends on your team that would hump through mud and snow watching your six.

You can’t believe you even thought about leaving after the mission in the first place. This is where you belong, where all of you belong, because you’re the only ones with good hearts who qualify for the job.

As breakfast winds down, Steve takes the opportunity to sprinkle in moments of long-awaited public displays of affection. When you go to refill your orange juice, he sneaks a kiss on your cheek. When you go to wash your plate, he makes sure Peter is looking the other way before patting your ass. And when you’re the one to envelope his slim waist from behind, he melts in your combined warmth.

“So, about our date,” Steve inquires, cheeks turning pink but voice unwavering. He looks brand new, refreshed, and there’s a shine in his eyes that you haven’t seen since forever. You can’t remember the last time you have, but you figure it must have been back when the world hadn’t yet swallowed him whole. Now, he’s burning bright with the youth his soul has missed.

You jump up and down, “Ooo, exciting!”

Steve takes you by the waist, swinging you in every direction. It’s uncoordinated, messy, and not exactly dancing but it’s pure. “Chinese? Pizza? Just fries?”

“¿Por qué no los tres?” Pursing your lips, you wait for his answer.

“That can be arranged.”

You gasp dramatically, “You’re spoiling me.”

“Well I have two years to make up for it.”

That startles a laugh from deep inside your chest. “That’s gonna be our inside joke now, huh? Two of the worst years of our lives and we’re joking about it.”

He blushes along with you. “I think that describes our relationship perfectly.”

“Our relationship…” Your voice comes out like a melodic whisper and Steve feels it in his bones.

He grins down at you but before he can respond, someone enters the common room rather cautiously.

“Oh, now what the hell are you doing here?” Steve demands, pushing you to stand behind him. The gesture is nice, but completely unnecessary. Friday would have alerted the team if someone entered the grounds armed.

Agent Kavert raises his hands, “Relax. I’m not here to arrest you or anything.”

Steve tries to move his shoulders in a way where Agent Kavert can’t see your head. But you maneuver around him, somehow ending up peeking your head through Steve’s underarm. “If I know the law, and I think I do, you can’t really arrest someone in their own house anyway, right?” You pat Steve repeatedly on his side. “Right?”

Before Steve can respond, Agent Kavert speaks. With Steve guarding you, it seems the only thing Agent Kavert wants to do is get in and get out as fast as he can. “I just came to apologize. Ballistics came back and the evidence does show that you didn’t kill Ernesto Vega. It was Ramirez’s issued gun.”

Yeah, you think. The gun Seda stole.

“Oh, what a breath of relief! I almost forgot I was there.”

He sighs and his lips pull into a small smile. “You’re not gonna tell me where Ramirez is, huh?”

Steve takes this as his cue to leave you two alone, but not before squeezing your hand on his way out. He nods over to Peter, who’s still crouching in the kitchen, unseen by Kavert. Peter gives him an enthusiastic thumbs up, happy to spy for his Captain. But you know he’s really asking Peter to take care of you while he’s gone.

You let out a heavy sigh. Omar has been wanted for years for another murder he didn’t even commit. And now, he’s wanted for another. He may be a giant with morals, but even he can’t escape the gruesome reality that plagues the wicked.

“I don’t even know where he is. If you came looking for answers—”

“No, I just… Everything’s been so fucked up since half the universe came back. And the possibility of an Avenger being bad, having played us for years — I think it just scared a lot of people.” Agent Kavert actually looks sincere. He adjusts his footing and chuckles a little under his breath. There’s a fine line creasing his forehead, but it isn’t formed from stress. He’s smiling, an honest look, and his eyebrows pull inward. “And Shakespeare? Really?”

Rolling your eyes, you shrug and lean back against the counter. “When half the world disappears and takes your family and friends with it, there’s really not much else to do.”

And besides, Loki was really into Shakespeare.

You continue, deciding at the last second to throw Agent Kavert a bone about your past. “Shield didn’t know but Nick Fury did. So did Pierce. And when Shield fell, Fury just hid it even more.” You give him a half smile. “We weren’t helping the cartel. We were slowly taking it apart.”

Agent Kavert nods, thinking it over. “The deal Jackeline made with us was pretty simple. She’d tell us all the inside secrets that she knew and in exchange, no charges against her and none so serious for you.”

Your shoulders slump and you shoot him a blank stare. “Was it really that simple? Like, I could have just used her as my one free call?”

“Joke all you want. You should have called us when Shield fell. The double agent thing was risky and everyone needs help taking down a giant like that.”

“I did have help. Involving more people was never planned.”

“He was just as much our mission as he was yours.”

Agent Kavert, as sorry as he looks, still doesn’t seem to get it. But that’s fine, you think. Not everyone can. And you’re not in the mood to argue anymore. “No… he wasn’t.”

He seems to read your mind because he simply accepts your answer. “I really am sorry for accusing you. And for the government arresting you alone and letting the white man go free.”

A tiny snort tickles your nostrils. Agent Kavert is white, and it’s even more amusing considering he’s being serious. “Thanks… I guess.”

He turns to leave, seemingly normal, until he spins on his heel and claps his hands. “Oh! And by the way — don’t leave the country. The charges of conspiracy and murder have all been dropped. But there’s evidence of drug smuggling. So, you’re on house arrest.”

Your eyes widen and you reply with a sarcastic yell. “Thanks!” He turns to leave again. “You’re fucking with me, right?”

He glances over his shoulder, “Could not have let you just get away with it. Some of that smuggling was under no order from Shield at all.”

“You know I can easily disable that ugly ass ankle bracelet you’re about to give me?”

He chuckles low, and finally waves goodbye. “Goodbye, Agent Y/LN.”

You stand dumbfounded, slightly annoyed, but you figure it’s better than actual jail time. Peter rises from his hiding spot and walks over to you, blowing air from his mouth. “Friend of yours?”

You whip around to point a finger, scream and laugh mixing into one. “No friend!”

Peter finally hears that accent Steve can’t stop talking about.

It’s a tiny portrait, sealed in a tiny frame and hidden in a tiny room. The frame is black with professional wooden carvings that make the sides look like perfectly detailed tree trunks. It’s in between the portrait of Tony and Natasha’s bracelet. Tony wears the same AC/DC shirt Steve has somehow stolen and claimed as his own. He’s got this sarcastic grin, some type of wrench in one hand while his other rests on his hip. He stands in his lab, glasses pushed up onto his head and black soot smudged on his cheek. You think Peter snapped the photo back in 2017.

But the middle portrait is your favorite. It’s the only photo he ever allowed to be taken of him. Brushing your index finger against the glass, you trace the small outlines of Loki’s jawline, to his thin pink lips, to the bulb of his nose, to the waves of his hair. He sits caught off guard, book in his hand and in regular human clothing. He shoots a rather annoyed but joyful look over his shoulder as the camera was shoved in his face. You know for sure Wanda took that photo.

“You’re not dead,” you say as you study the blue of his frozen eyes. A God doesn’t die, you remember him saying. Loki was wrong about a lot of things, but you pray he wasn’t wrong about this. There’s a small part of you that wants to speak the same words to Tony and Natasha, but there’s only so many times the world’s axis can shift for a miracle. You tap the glass, sighing a breath of acceptance, and finally let go. “Whenever you’re ready.”

Smiling up at the ceiling, you think you’re right about this one.

It’s quiet. The only sounds are the mild ripping of wrapping paper and small ‘thank you’s’ from the team. Everyone got each other something — granted, everyone got something small for everyone. No matter how much Tony joked about still splurging on Christmas shopping, his promises weren’t exactly kept. He’s gotten everyone things they actually need or wanted. Steve, a new drawing pad; Natasha, a bright pink knit sweater; Rhodey, a new watch; Bruce, a pair of sunglasses; Nebula, a dark blue knitted sweater that she immediately presses against her cheek, eyes focused on the ground as she savors the soft brush; you, the full collection of Shakespeare's plays and sonnets. And he finally presents the baby’s crib to Pepper, constructed three weeks after she originally asked him to.

“I know how much you like to reenact A Midsummer Night’s Dream in your room,” Tony grins at you. Biting your bottom lip, you throw yourself at him and hug him tight. He returns the hug with just as much strength, if not more.

As the night goes on and midnight rings, your small group exchanges tight-lipped merry Christmas’s and happy holidays. Natasha retires to her room, a distant look in her eyes as she says goodnight. No one knows where Clint is.

Steve nudges your elbow with his once the room empties. He holds out a box with festive wrapping — snowmen with carrots for noses and a variety of pebbled smiles. “From me and Okoye.”

“You got me a gift?”

Steve’s brow furrows as he nods like it’s obvious. “Of course. You’re my friend.”

“Well, now I feel inadequate,” you laugh. It comes out wet and it’s then that you realize you’re tearing up. “I promise to reenact Midsummer for you, okay?”

Steve chuckles, “You got it.”

You unwrap it slowly, half wondering why Steve and Okoye teamed up to get you a present. You. Your stomach churns an innocent whirl.

It’s a long sleeved vest… or sweater. You can’t really tell until you pull it from the box. It’s intricately designed and it takes a moment for you to finally see it, to finally understand, and the moment you do you exhale a wracked breath.

It’s not Wakandan fashion. It’s threaded with the colors and swirls of a place you haven’t called home in years. It has red flowers down the vest portion and multicolored rows down the sleeves and back. It’s made from a thick fabric that’s rarely used this century. Vintage — home.

“Steve…”

Steve clears his throat, “Now, I only did the flower parts. Okoye found it unfinished in… um…”

And there, where tags from brands would usually be, is a small threaded engraving.

‘From Bucky, To our muñeca.’

“He didn’t get to finish it so I thought I would — you know, help? — so it’s really from Buck. Probably an apology for not letting you visit him in Wakanda.”

Steve tries to push out a laugh at his poor joke, but you can see how he’s faltering. You reach up and wrap your arms around his neck, dragging him down so his knees bend, and pour as much nonverbal thank you’s into the hug. He hesitates at first, arms floating awkwardly, until he swallows his fear and wraps his arms around your waist. He holds you to him tightly and breathes in the sweet scent of your vanilla shampoo.

“Thank you.” Your voice is small, but Steve regards the delivery as powerful.

You wear it once, that Christmas night, enveloped in its warmth as you slept. In the morning, you hang it in the back of your closet.

A knock on your bedroom door sounds through your headphones. Bucky peeks his head in, “Is now a bad time?”

Sitting up, you pull the headphones from your ears. “Nope. Just thinking about how I’ve lived several years in the span of one week.”

Bucky lugs in a sports bag in one hand and a manila file in the other. He places them at the edge of your bed and proceeds to bounce in the available space near you. “Yeah, that can be annoying.”

You attempt to shove him away as he tries to steal your blanket. “Did you need anything?”

“Yeah.” He lets you take it, and simply turns on his side to face you. “What’s gonna happen between you and Steve?”

It’s an innocent question, but you know Bucky well enough to notice when he’s stressed. Steve probably told him to mind his business. “We’re good.”

He inspects your face with squinted eyes, “I know what you’re thinking so cut that shit out. This isn’t one of those missions where the feelings will just go away.”

“Funny thing is, I believe you,” you admit, watching as his face does something unexpected. His smile drops suddenly, like he didn’t expect you to agree with him, and then it’s immediately back full force.

“Peggy and Steve - right person, wrong time. You and Loki - right person, wrong time. You and Steve, all those years ago — right person, wrong time.” A weird thing happens: you agree with him again. “But now, after everything — right person, right time.”

“It’s just weird feeling like it’ll actually work.”

“That makes us seem like we’re all broken, doll. We’re not.”

You turn so you’re facing him; two mismatched parentheses. “We’re just tired.”

“We’re just tired,” Bucky agrees, smiling. “I’m not saying don’t look over your shoulder whenever you feel like it. Hell, I still look over mine.”

Snorting, you roll closer to hug him. He pulls you into his chest. “You give amazing pep talks.”

“Yeah, I don’t know why they gave that trophy to Steve.” Bucky shares the intimate moment for as long as it takes before the blanket starts overheating. He groans as he sits up to retrieve the things he brought with him. “By the way, our mutual friend sends one last warm regards.”

Bucky throws the sports bag onto your lap. “What’s this?”

“Your shit.”

You don’t even want to ask him how he packed your things without your knowledge. “Kicking me out, Barnes?”

“Clothes, toothbrush, shampoo and conditioner, pads, the quilt I just finished knitting thank you very much,” Bucky lists and hands you the file. “Maribel found him.”

“Ramirez?”

“Your dad.”

You snap your head up to look at him. Bucky expects to see anger, hurt, maybe even betrayal. He was prepared for it. But you just look confused, lost for words, maybe even scared. “Goes by Richard these days. Lives with his wife in Wisconsin, no kids, keeps to himself.”

You flip through the files, holding your breath. The file is small, Richard’s information only covering the first page, the rest just drabble. He seems relatively normal, looks normal even; normal job, normal credit score, normal upbringing. It doesn’t even seem real. You close the file and set it aside. “So you are sending me away?”

Bucky smirks, “It’s a suggestion. But I took the liberty of doing the hard part for you.”

“Yeah, because packing my lady products is the climax of this story.”

It didn’t go unnoticed that Bucky called Richard your ‘dad’. Everyone either referred to Ernesto as ‘your father’ or by his name. Steve had said ‘dad’ a few times before he met him, then he never said it again. Hell, even you did sometimes.

It’s a sweet distinction and you’re certain Bucky said it on purpose. Bucky takes your hands in his, “It’s been a long time coming. But at least we can both say that the people who hurt us can’t hurt us any longer.”

You can. You really can.

Bucky’s already packed Steve’s shit as well. Steve’s just shoving extra socks into his bag when someone knocks on the door. He expects Bucky or Sam, final words of encouragement, but it’s Scott. And he’s standing there grinning like a mad man.

“So, what’s the verdict, Rogers? You going after her or not?”

Steve huffs a laugh, “Think you already know the answer to that, Lang.”

Scott closes the door behind him and leans back against it. He shoves his hands in his sweater pockets, “Not that it should matter, shut me up if I cross any line, but everyone supports this.”

“Weirdly, I think it does matter. We’ve had you guys picking sides for two years. Selfishly. Like we were having a fucking civil war after everything.”

“Yeah, well.”

Steve huffs a laugh. It’s always going to surprise him just how comfortable Scott is around him now. Not afraid to tease him or call him out on something he doesn’t agree with. It’s refreshing.

“I’m not giving up on her, Scott. Not again.”

Scott nods. Perhaps breaking the mission ethic code wasn’t a bad thing after all, Scott thinks. He gives Steve a proud smile, genuine. “Then I hereby declare our hanging conversation officially closed.”

Steve wanders from his bedroom, to the conference room, to the main living room without an end destination in mind, seeming to just follow his quick feet as they lead him around the halls of the compound. He’s proud of himself, really, because he truly believes he’s learned to swallow his pride, has opened himself up to the possibility of being happy, and accepted that the world has changed and will continue to alter whether he likes it or not. He was, is, and will always be a man out of time — he’ll never fit but goddamn does he feel settled. He hasn’t felt this sane since before the war — which one? — so he relishes in the feeling for a few calm seconds.

He feels tears well-up on his water line and feels the pressure in his temples. He’s at a crossroads — both proud of himself for finally choosing the path he wants and relieved that this week, this mission he has dreaded for almost ten years, is over. He doesn’t know if he should sleep for a month or occupy his time with other things awaiting repair. A build up of five years, grief and loss and happiness all weirdly mixed into one pot, and Steve simply hasn’t noticed the improper portions of each ingredient.

It’s too much.

He thinks about his mental health. Shot to Hell, he jokes with himself. He’s already got the virtual therapy appointments scheduled. He figures he’ll get better with time and if Steve knows one thing for sure, it’s that he’s got a whole lot of that.

He thinks about Sam and Bucky and Scott — his three best friends that have gone to the ends of the Earth and back for him, and who would proudly do it all over again. He thinks about their kind words, their gentle touch, their devotion that Steve still sometimes feels he doesn’t deserve.

And he thinks about you. To anyone else, this was written in the damn stars. No, there wasn’t anything extremely obvious in the first few years. You were friends. Friends that grew to consider each other teammates. Teammates that drew a drop of blood while fighting on opposite sides. Teammates that recognized the true endgame, teammates that helped each other escape, teammates that went silent for two years. Two years of no contact, no signal of survival. Then again, teammates who stood by as their world crumbled around them. Teammates who grew to be friends again, leaning on free shoulders and seeking help through happy conversations and long nights. Friends that brought the world together again, only to rip each other from their own. Friends into the most bizarre of enemies. And enemies back to teammates.

Steve wipes a hand down his face as he fixes the strap over his shoulder. The common room is empty — he likes it this way. That means everyone is either napping, getting food, visiting friends or family, simply living life. The silence is therapeutic.

His eyes fall on a crooked picture frame near the television. He tries to ignore it, almost to the door and ready for another road trip, but he steps back. Then forward, then back again. He groans in frustration of himself and moves to turn the frame back in place, holding it for a few seconds until it stays. But as he lets go, it tilts once more. He tries again — it tilts back.

He pulls the frame from the hook and turns it over. He rightly freezes, the presence of a small pink paper airplane taped near the edge knocking the wind from his constricting lungs. He pulls it off, careful to not tear the delicate post-it.

He never found it. Natasha probably placed it behind this very picture frame in the other compound for him to find. Surely the explosion should have destroyed it — but it didn’t. It’s right here, perfectly intact, just a smudge of dirt on one of its wings. The frame hadn’t been damaged either. It’s real.

He holds the thin piece of paper like it’s the most precious thing in the world.

Steve turns it over between his fingers a few more times, before he carefully folds it back in half and puts it in his wallet. “You’ve got some nerve, Nat. But I hear ya.”

Steve decides to write you back. He hides the letter in that sweater he knows you don’t wear anymore, in the far back of your closet, and marvels at the intricate stitching while he can. He poured his heart out, even if it’s not guaranteed you’ll ever see it.

‘Yes, I found your letter. I found it when I was looking for perfume in your suitcase. The tape was loose and I violated your privacy. I��m truly sorry for that.

But I felt compelled to write you back, in case the reverse happened and I died instead of you. I didn’t write it then, when you were drying your hair in front of that impossibly small mirror you so weirdly called ‘a stupid little bitch’. And you looked so beautiful. But I’m writing it now and maybe I’ll share it with you in person when we’re both ready.

When the world turned to dust, I held on to you. I know exactly why. Natasha bugged me about it also, teasing me whenever I would glance at you too long, or give you the last remaining Oreos I was planning on eating, or whenever I would leave your room in the mornings after a nightmare. She knew nothing was happening between us, but she had this smile whenever she caught me. Like she was happy I was comforting you, and in turn seeking comfort for myself.

You remember how her smile would tilt up more on the left side?

There isn’t a proper way to truly apologize for hurting you. But I will spend the rest of my life trying to make up for it. You at least deserve that.

I returned a different man. And I think that was for the better.

Yes, I wanted the quiet life. I still think I do. And I think you know this — you have always seen right through me.

I now know what Natasha saw. You irritate me, you damn near make me want to choke myself out, but I care for you. We hold each other up, and I’m always rooting for you, and I’m always by your side. No matter how annoying and smart-mouthed you may be.

You’re my best friend — I hope I’m one of yours.

Steve.’

There’s no one currently in the compound who really knows how to change the battery in your car. Bucky tries, does a rather good job too, but he claims he’s winging it and that you should call a mechanic just in case. He leaves you there with two random batteries on the ground, hood of your car open, and without any idea of what to do next. So you chill and wait for the mechanic you hope isn’t going to jack up the price just because he knows who you are.

But he doesn’t seem fazed by you at all — or at the fact he just had to drive through countless checkpoints and security checks just to get on Avengers property. He changes the battery and changes the oil, hooking you up with as many upgrades he can. He even offers to wash it until you thank him repeatedly and that Really, really, you don’t have to do that. Thank you so much!

“Quite a garage you got here.”

There are unfinished projects and random wires falling from the ceiling and enough tools to supply five garages. It’s messy, but it was Tony’s. You accept the compliment and see him out.

“Eh, make sure those windshield wipers work. I hear it’s gonna rain tomorrow.”

You thank him again. The clouds to the west are gray, getting darker as the expanse stretches, but from where you’re standing everything’s blue. You figure the mechanic was right: it’s gonna rain, and it’s gonna rain hard.

The mechanic did good, all things considered. You never thought your old, beat-up Honda could look a few years younger. You flick one of the wipers lightly, testing its strength. It holds, as does the other, but when you go to lift it up it stops halfway. Without wanting to break it, you don’t force it. There’s something blocking the switch.

You grab it before it can accidentally fall into a deep slot; the figurehead of a man, curly hair and beard that matches Steve’s, who also has a prominent and strong nose. You turn the coin over a few times before looking around the garage, down the street, at the remote area where the mechanic has just left. Standing there, mouth agape, you wonder just how in the world you missed the mechanic placing it there.

You were lacking in the spy department nowadays. Oops.

You know you’re not going to find Ramirez. But him giving this back to you? It was his way of saying he’s alright and that he owes you many thanks.

You pocket the coin and accept the fact you just got bested.

It should take a few hours before you hit the first motel. Wisconsin isn’t that far, but you do have to pass through about hundred “middle of nowhere’s”. You pull out of the garage and check your mirrors — completely unaware of the super soldier running full speed to the passenger door. Steve carefully throws it open, somewhat aware of his strength, and lands into the seat beside you.

You hit the brakes hard. “Oh my! Rogers!”

Steve sucks in a few heavy breaths, like he literally ran across the compound to make it. “What? I startle you?”

“What are you doing here?”

“What are you doing? Aren’t you on house arrest?”

You squint at him, “Touche.” Putting the car in park, you turn your whole body to face him. “Answer my question.”

“Thought you were just gonna leave without saying goodbye?” Steve asks, expression much more teasing than serious.

“I’ll be gone for three days tops,” you say, waving your hand in the air. Steve smiles at you, seemingly waiting for you to speak again. You roll your eyes, “You’re coming with me, aren’t you?”

Steve lifts up the small duffel bag you hadn’t seen when he first got into the car. He throws it into the backseat and smiles lovingly at you. “I’ve been told that I’m impossible to get rid of, so yeah.”

“Rhodey said that the ankle bracelet they gave me wasn’t a trusted model. Easy to break off, like they did it on purpose.” You lean toward him, holding your chin up with the palm of your hand. “Should be able to drive free for a few weeks before they suspect anything.”

“Already booked us a cabin for Thanksgiving.”

“What makes you think that I even want you to accompany me on this road trip? Did you like the first one?”

Steve clears his throat and mimes like he’s writing on paper. The next words out of his mouth make your legs turn cold. “No matter how annoying and smart-mouthed you may be, there’s nowhere in the world I’d rather be than here, there, and everywhere with you.”

You blink multiple times, as if that would fix your ears. “...You. Fucking. Didn’t.” Steve reaches over to try and hug you. “No, don’t.” He squeezes harder, smooshing your face in his chest. “Steeeeve!”

“It fell out of your suitcase during the mission and I just… looked,” Steve reasons. He allows you to escape his grip.

“You just looked?”

Steve sighs. He really does look guilty. He pushes a strand of your hair behind your ear, letting his fingers tickle your skin. “I’m sorry I read it. I’ll get out of this car for real if you want me to.”

You arch an eyebrow, “You’re a little shit, but I’m not mad. No one understands privacy these days.”

Steve smiles wide enough for his dimples to pop and his eyes to crinkle. “I’d follow you anywhere, doll.”

“Anywhere?”

“Just name it.”

Humming low, you lean forward. He follows your direction like you’re a lighthouse beaming with light, capturing your lips with his in a sweet kiss. He hooks a large hand behind your head to press you to him harder. You smell like that vanilla scented shampoo he loves so much and feels his heart constrict with a pleasant pulse.

You pull back for air and smile against Steve’s soft lips.

“Well, I’m headed for the middle of buttfuck Wisconsin—”

“Just drive!”

Bursts of laughter fill the car until you’re past the checkpoints and well onto the long roads. The clouds continue to turn darker but they’re inviting, alluring, and it’s not insane that both of you desire thunderstorms because they remind you of family.

Steve watches you from the passenger seat, memorizing the contours and edges of your profile. The roots in his heart begin spreading again; the meat of his heart filling with a soothing promise that his time on earth is no longer rootless. He’s dug his feet in, he’s watered all he’s needed to water, and he feels it spreading within him like newly blossomed flowers in the spring. He has a sudden urge to take out his drawing pad to immortalize the way your mouth tilts higher up on the right side when you smile, to record it forever.

But he’ll remember it. He’ll remember well into this timeline, several years down the road, and even when he’s resting in his grave. So he leans his head back against the seat and chooses to watch the curves of every expression you grace him with. He immortalizes the sound of your voice, the taps of your fingers against the steering wheel, and the accented way you say his name.

There’s a long drive ahead, but he’s excited for it. He’s excited for you. Steve promises himself that he’ll ask you a million questions, and give you a million answers, and share a million more stories.

Right now, he just needs to sleep.

THE END.

Taglist: @dumb-ass-3 @justab-eautifulmess @supraveng @mycosmicparadise @missnighttigress

#captainsimagines #Steve Rogers #steve rogers fanfic #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers x reader #reader x steve rogers #avengers fanfic #avengers x reader #marvel fanfiction #chapter ten #to topple a giant #to topple a giant finale #avengers mob fanfic #by Moni

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expansionofsoul · 2 years

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Heart’s Desire - Josh Kiszka x Reader (angst, fluff): Epilogue.

Epilogue.

Couple: Josh Kiszka/Original female character

Words: 2550

Synopsis: A kind person is all you need. When Josh Kiszka enters your life without any warning, he is the guardian you were eagerly waiting for.

WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER: None!

Author’s note: I wrote a lot of fanfiction in my life. For many years, writing about Johnlock or Harry Styles was common to me, but I had never finished a multi chapter fic before this one! Thank you so much for reading, I would very much appreciate to know your thoughts on this story, as it was built with so much love (and research about whether angels could have intercourse or not). I’ll see you in my next project! As always, requests are open for full length stories or one shots :)

Masterpost

The moment you knew, he looked as beautiful as ever, but he had this different aura surrounding him. The moment you knew, Josh seemed like a normal human being, like someone who wasn’t this suffocatingly warm and shiny. In fact, he almost didn’t have that much shine to him at all. He was your Josh, a man smiling so bright at you that you could ask him to marry you right there. And he was smiling because he also knew, way before you did.

He was taking you out for the third time that week, trying to get as much attention from you as he possibly could, and the world outside looked like an inviting place to be with the one you most certainly loved. Now, everyone meaningful in your life knew who he was, and they also knew just how important he was for you, saving you time and time again from becoming the worst version of yourself. You knew, deep inside, that all of your friends were thankful that he was doing the hard work for them and never asking for anything in return, except for your constant company - and you didn’t mind that one bit.

“I can’t believe you’ve been here with me for months and this is the first time that we go to the movies together”, you said, walking with your hands intertwined with his and dancing to the sound of your shoes. “Do you even know what they’re playing there or is it going to be a surprise for the both of us?”

“I have absolutely no idea what they’re playing there”, he answered, looking at you and almost missing a step, his body trembling a little as you laughed. “I was hoping we could just look at the posters and go with the prettiest one.”

The city looked alive that evening. People on the streets were lively and happy as you walked, and you could swear you had never noticed just how many bars and restaurants were near your building. Even then, Josh got everyone’s attention to himself, so beautiful and loud that, whenever you stopped to look at something in a store or wait for the cars to pass by, you would notice conversations stopping and eyes going straight for him. You wondered if he noticed just how incredibly powerful he was just by being himself, but you knew the answer was no.

You ended up watching a french movie, and, if someone tried to ask you about the plot, you would have to silently tell them that you remembered nothing of it. Instead of watching the movie, too slow and too fancy for you to understand, you watched him, and that’s the moment you knew.

Josh looked immersed in the movie, and his eyes would follow every ounce of movement the screen was showing him. His face was shining with admiration as he analyzed everything, trying to gather as much information as he possibly could, making it his goal to create a little space inside of him that would remember that movie forever. You wondered how much of the world he had seen before he even met you, and how much information he had stored that could change your views on anything you ever said. But, deep inside of you, you knew he wanted to keep the information to himself, forcing you to live in the moment and forget the fact that he was the divinest of creatures, one that was made for you, and that could never change you, even if he wanted to.

It was then that you also understood that he didn’t want to remember the movie. He was as bored as you were. He wanted to remember watching it with you, because he also knew that you were ready, and that he didn’t have long before he had to go and watch from afar as you grew apart from him.

You also knew that he needed you to say it. He needed you to wake up one day and tell him that you were ready to let him go, that you learned from him and now needed to learn from yourself. Even if you were ready for it, it didn’t feel less painful as you memorized every detail, a human form of a dream that seemed to never end, a man made for you to love, for you to cherish and adore. Not even the highest scream in the movie screen could take you away from him, and he looked peaceful as ever with the idea of you letting him go.

“I can’t believe you didn’t even watch the movie”, he said, a funny sound to his voice meaning that he also didn’t watch it. “The cinematography was incomparable, I think you might regret not paying attention in a few years when this becomes a cult classic.”

His face was so close to yours that you had to fight the urge to touch him at every second of your day. He walked beside you, not looking at where he was going, his hand holding yours so tight that you felt like you might explode, a good kind of pain that could only come from the suffocating feeling of wanting to be with each other. For a moment, every touch felt like it was not enough to satiate your need for being with Josh, and you wished you could just enter his body so you two could be as one forever.

“You’re a dirty liar, Josh, I could tell you were just watching the pretty colors”, you said, and he laughed a little too loud.

“I am physically incapable of ever lying to you, dearest”, a fake british accent came out of his mouth as he said it, and he stopped walking to put his hand on his chest. “And that is why I am telling you that I was definitely only watching the pretty colors.”

The rest of the walk home was one of the worst experiences of your life, the silence making you notice every step, every noise that was coming from across the street, every car trying to get somewhere. It was quiet because he knew you knew, and because you both didn’t want it to happen the way it would.

When you got home, you needed to test yourself to see just how sure you were of what you were about to do. Taking your phone, you finally looked through the pictures, selecting one of the specific albums you had made a few years ago. Pictures of her popped up immediately, and you had to look away for a second to contain your tears. You knew Josh was right behind you, but he didn’t say a thing, a quiet ghost of a man that would let you have your moment when you most needed it. You took your time getting ready to open one of the pictures, opening a random one, physically incapable to choose. When you finally looked at it and saw the face of your mother staring back at you, you felt something that you didn’t expect.

You felt nothing. Nothing more than nostalgia and love for the person she once was, the one that would walk beside you and protect you every time you would fall in the arms of the wrong person. You waited and waited for the normal panic attack to come as you looked at her, the picture of her smiling and holding you feeling like a soft breeze brushing your skin and making you feel welcome in your own body. You noticed just how much you were starting to look like her, and how your own face served as a memory of who she was and what she represented. You desperately wanted to make her proud, and making her proud meant that you needed to let her go.

“Josh?”, you asked, and you could immediately feel his breathing in your neck, so close that you could just reach and touch him. “I think I’m ready.”

He didn’t say anything for a while, taking you in his arms from behind and making you sit on his lap on the bed. His body felt warmer now that your goodbye was closer than ever, and you could sit and watch as his body reacted to yours for decades. Josh sat there with you for what felt like an eternity, holding you as you looked at the other pictures.

“Do you have any idea just how proud I am of you?”, he asked, holding you tighter, like he could never let you go. “You look just like her.”

You smiled as he pointed to one of your pictures, the one where a younger version of your mother held you as a baby. You could clearly see the resemblance, the lost eyes filled with hope of what was to come.

“Can I have one final request before you go?”, he nodded, and you got out of his lap to stare at him, side by side. “I need you to stop being Josh for a second. I want to see the angel inside of you before you leave.”

Josh could read your mind like a book, so he knew exactly what you meant even if you weren’t so sure. He just smiled, and hugged you tightly once again. You couldn’t help but kiss him, a wet, hopeful kiss that served as a way of telling him that he was the one you would love for the rest of your life, even if you ended up living your life with someone else. Josh, of course, knew what you were feeling, and returned your kiss with a passion that only he could reproduce, holding your waist so tight that you thought your ribs would break.

He took his time getting ready, which also meant he wanted you to get ready with him. You closed your eyes for a second, letting him get comfortable with his form. When you opened your eyes again, you felt him staring at you, his eyes completely white and empty, and still so filled with love that you couldn’t imagine exactly how he felt right now. From him, came a warmth that you had gotten used to by now, making you feel so warm and protected that there wasn’t a possible way of making you leave his side. He didn’t need to use his voice, because you knew exactly what he wanted you to know.

You knew some things. You knew that he loved you, as it was his essence and he was clearly incapable of doing anything else. Even then, you knew he loved you like a creature and like a man, and this departure was as painful for him as it was for you. As his body shined with the same yellow and orange tones from when you first saw him, you touched his face, not worried if his touch made your skin burn with heat. He was so incredibly beautiful that it didn’t matter.

You also knew that, no matter what you did or where you were, he would follow you, guiding you as you lived your life with only the memory of who you once loved. He would not follow you as a human, and you would possibly never see him again, but his presence would still be noted in the little things, like the sweet smell of candy or the sun still shining even when everything seemed lost in time.

Josh sat with you for a moment, the creature inside of him taking good care of you as you relaxed under his touch. You could feel everything, from the way his touch didn’t feel human anymore, but like a feather lightly brushing against you, to the breath he let out as he kissed you once more. The feeling of his lips against yours were not entirely physical, as your mind reacted to it way before it happened, sending you waves of love and care that you could only feel with him.

When he finally left you, his shiny body disappearing as if it was only a vision of who he was, you felt your entire body becoming more and more tired. You knew this was his way of making you spend the rest of your night remembering him inside your dreams, keeping you from staying up and mourning his goodbye. As you slept, you could still feel him as he held you, caressing your hair with soft, warm fingers.

And you felt like yourself.

- - -

There was a knock at the door as you woke up. You looked at the familiar face, smiling at him as he entered the room. His curls were wet, and you wondered when he left to take his much needed shower after all those hours of waiting. As you looked at him crossing the room, you felt a sense of love that was so ordinary that you could feel proud of yourself.

“How’s my baby going?”, he asked, sitting beside you.

“Oh, she’s pretty good, actually! They gave her a bath while I was sleeping”, you answered, listening to him laugh as you said it. “What?”

“I meant you. I know how she’s doing, I was the one to help with her shower.”

You looked at the baby resting on the crib beside your bed, and she looked like the spitting image of your husband. There was so much pride inside yourself that you couldn’t stop crying since the minute she came out of you and you got to meet her pretty face. You had never imagined that this was supposed to be your biggest dream - to raise a family and to see as they grew with you. A fear that you could not contain still told you that he was going to leave you alone when it became too much, too busy and carefree to help you with a child that demanded attention and love.

But as you paid close attention to him, you could see the look of a father. Of someone who couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life taking care of his daughter, so small and fragile, so dependent on him.

“Do we have a name yet?”, he asked. You nodded quickly, looking at her again and noticing as she woke up.

Your husband helped you hold her in your tired arms, and she felt like a dream come true.

“What do you think of Alya?”, you could sense his smile growing bigger as you told him the name. “It kind of sounds like your name, Aaron.”

“I like it, it’s different”, your baby let out a soft sob as you settled her, resting on your stomach. “Do you know what it means?”

“Depends on who you’re asking, really”, you explained. “It could mean sky, to ascend, beautiful. To me, it means heavenly.”

You watched as Aaron looked at his daughter, a confused expression that made you watch what he was looking for. Alya’s cheek was shaking when you noticed a butterfly was sitting on her face, kindly tickling her skin. You couldn’t help but laugh. Aaron tried to take the butterfly off her, but you took his hand.

“Leave it”, you asked. “It’s just trying to meet her.”

And you knew he had never left.

And I wept both night and day,

And he wiped my tears away;

And I wept both day and night,

And hid from him my heart’s delight.

(The Angel by William Blake)

@a-bouquet-of-lilies

#greta van fic #gvf fanfiction #gvf fanfic #josh kiszka #josh kiszka fanfiction #gvf fluff #Greta Van Fleet #greta van fleet fan fiction #greta van fleet fluff #greta van fleet angst

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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HI GONNA KEEP THIS SHORT CAUSE I TYPED OUT A WHOLE THING AND TUMBLR DELETED IT

But any thoughts on keefe and stinas dynamic?

oh no! tumblr can be so mean sometimes it's so unfair. We are all just trying to have a fun time and are constantly thwarted. There was a period of time where Tumblr straight up wouldn't post my answers to asks unless I reloaded the page and it was so annoying. I ended up using it on microsoft edge for a while until the problem went away.

as for Keefe and Stina's dynamic, that's an interesting one! I can't remember off the top of my head any times the two of them directly interacted (I may be forgetting them!), so I'm going to focus more on comparing and contrasting the two of them if that's alright!

Keefe has grown up with ridiculous expectations and overwhelming power, being one of if not the strongest empaths in the elven world at the tender age of Child. He's pushed to do the most he possibly can to prove that he's worthy of the Sencen name, that he's worth it's legacy (not the Lady Gisela one, the Lord Cassius one). He's good at messing with other people while staying private about himself and redirecting attention.

Similarly, Stina is the topic of speculation and ridicule and frequently lashed out at others for it. She meddled in other people's lives and caused problems in the same vein Keefe did, but hers were a lot more insidious and caused emotional damage--like getting in the way of Sophie and Biana's friendship, an act that contributed to Sophie running to the caves and getting kidnapped. Keefe's are mostly harmless pranks that just mess with people.

Stina and Keefe both have a very...entitled (?) attitude. Not exactly the right word but it's close. They both like to challenge authority and people who tell them what to do. Stina spied on her father doing Black Swan things and brought the secret to Maruca, and then challenged Granite telling her off (she did try and brush past it and was shaking, but she tried not to show it). Keefe does a similar thing where he demands information from people, putting himself into situations and always trying to recklessly charge into things. They're both self-centered in that way, and make decisions based on what they think is best and challenge anyone who disagrees. They talk back, essentially.

There is of course also the empath comparison, but I think they've responded to their abilities very differently. This may be because Stina is so much newer to it compared to the years Keefe has had, but he seems a lot more sensitive to what is actually means to read other people's emotions. He recognizes them for how vulnerable and personal they are, and he's delicate with them until he needs to use that information in one of those instances I talked about in the previous paragraph. Stina seems to think of it as a tool, as something that she can do and can learn, but not viewing it with the same sensitivity. It's information to her, and that's all.

I think there's a lot in common with the two of them, and any interaction is bound to be conflicting. The absolute conviction and determination Stina has vs the desperation and drive to do anything that Keefe does would be cool to see in action, regardless of the topic.

If I have missed a crucial interaction between the two of them where we can see their dynamic please feel free to let me know! I'm going off of what I can remember but my memory isn't infallible. Regardless, I'm curious if we'll ever get an interaction between the two of them in the future!

#keefe isn't part of team valiant so he really has no reason to interact with stina #unless sophie tasks stina with something that invovles keefe I can't really see a reason they would #as they're both empaths so there's not many instances where both of them are needed. they can each contribute the same ability wise #though keefe is more experienced #and then of course he's gone rn #so there's that whole thing #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #quil's queries #nonsie #tw caps #keefe sencen #stina heks #kotlc character analysis

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alluringjae · 3 years

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[ 23:45 ] ⮕ END

part of my collection of cookie cuts from all i do is wait

in order to understand, read the main story first here.

pairing: ghost!doyoung x female!reader

genre: angst, sum fluff if you really squint

warnings: death, grief

author’s note: someone asked me how i would interpret this scene, so here it is. this hurt A LOT. have fun though!

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Mid-1953

At long last, the Korean War has ended after 3 years.

Over 5 million people dead, and to be one of the lucky survivors was a miracle.

The remaining soldiers who’ve fought through it all could return home, whilst civilians can properly rebuild all that was devastatingly destroyed in their cities. Their own normal lives included.

The fiercest 3 years of your life must you say, too engaged with self-studying your history books saved pre-war while dealing with the bargaining stage of your grief towards Doyoung. Every day, you couldn’t go on without overthinking the what-ifs. On top of that, your toddler Areum was at the stage where she loved creating a mess on the walls with her crayons. No matter how many times you’ve corrected her because it wasn’t your house, she continued anyway.

Now, she’s full-blown crying after you confiscated them and you’re on the verge of it. Thankfully, your mother stepped in to take her out for a walk in the neighborhood so you could unwind for a bit.

Since news broke out that the war ended, everyone from every street cheered and danced on the streets. You hailed with praise along with them, positive that things were going to get better. Yet deep down, you’ve selfishly wished that he was one of the lucky few to come home.

If only you didn’t chicken out so easily after he told you he was enlisting so you had a few more seconds with him.

If only you compromised him to join another field.

If only you told him about Areum earlier so he could go home.

These thoughts revolved your mind the most, instantly getting you to break down wherever you were. Even photos of him and you together were enough to tear down your walls. So, they remained hidden until the day you’re in a much better state of mind.

Dear god, you longed for him. Everything that consists of him.

In hopes to forget this tremendous loss in your life, you poured hot tea in a cup and started on this new book from this ongoing series, The Chronicles of Narnia. Getting it during this harsh period was tough, bartering it with old books you’ve owned in the market.

Fully preoccupied in the fantastical universe, flipping the pages quickly, you almost missed the continuous knocking on your door. You let out a tiny gasp and made your way to the entrance. As delusional to think it was Doyoung, you knew it wasn’t your mother and Areum either because they would’ve simply walked in. Opening it anyways, you were met by two young tall men. One had a bandage on his cheek while the other had a cast on his right arm. Noting their growing hair, they must’ve fought in the war.

Oh, if Doyoung was one of them.

“Hello, may I know who you two are?”

The one with the bandage spoke up, bowing first. “Hello, I am Lee Taeyong and this is my friend, Kim Jungwoo. We were good friends of your late lover, Kim Doyoung.”

Late lover.

Haven’t heard that since people in the neighborhood gossiped about your taboo pregnancy, but it’s not like they knew anyways. But from the letters exchanged with Doyoung before, he talked about these two highly. Whenever there were times of ease while serving, Doyoung was always up to mischievous things with these two. In a situation where they had to man up, they brought out his inner child.

“Oh, yes! Doyoung used to talk about you two in his letters, but I had no clue how you guys looked.”

By instinct, you invited them inside for tea by the patio. You’ve always wanted to meet them despite the circumstances. Bringing in a tray with a teapot and treats, mostly you were inquiring about their lives. Aside from knowing their positions in the team, you learned of their new plans moving forward.

“I want to return to university to finish my studies in mechanical engineering, maybe travel the world too.” Jungwoo stated, blowing on his cup before sipping it. He’s said to be an organized man according to Doyoung, always cautious of his surroundings. It balanced out his liveliness.

“Me too! I want to complete my major in finance, then marry my childhood sweetheart after a few years.” Taeyong expounded, his round eyes glowed in wonder. He must’ve been looking forward to this day, and you were content for him. Meanwhile, it processed to Taeyong what he said, realizing that it may have been insensitive.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” He burst out instantly. “I got stuck in my feelings there.”

“It’s okay, nothing to worry about. You shouldn’t apologize for how you feel.”

“I do think we should feel worried about you though.” Jungwoo interrupted, sighing heavily. “What happened with Doyoung-hyung all those years ago, we’re really concerned for you especially.”

At the mention of the painful memory, this wasn’t the right time to crumble. You weren’t capable to show your vulnerability to anyone but yourself. Plastering a wrenching pretend smile, “I appreciate the concern, truly. But I’ll be okay again. I’m planning to return to university too, then proceed to law school. A shared dream of mine and his.”

Taeyong and Jungwoo transparently viewed you like glass, coping with the grief of it. They were on the same page as you, and unaware to you, they knew his final words. With their interpretation, it only felt right to reach out to you. Befriend you, aid you in any possible way.

At the end of the day, three of you equally shared the suffering over the death of a loved one.

Sitting in peaceful silence, the front door creaked open followed by a tiny, high-pitched voice squealing.

“We’re home!” Your mother shouted.

“I’m at the patio, we have guests over!” You replied, pouring more tea for the two quiet boys.

From such a low-spirited atmosphere only did it liven up when an energetic Areum came into your setting. She had pigtails this time, satisfying herself with fresh bungeo-ppang from the neighborhood. No matter what you’re feeling, it took a single glance of her with her small moon-like eyes to recharge you.

“Mom, who are your friends here?” She pondered cluelessly.

The two boys exchanged looks at each other first, then to you in one breath. Their expressions of perplexity by how one’s hand was on their mouth and the other boy couldn’t stop staring at Areum, you identified exactly what they were thinking of.

“Areum, these are your dad’s friends in the army.” You animatedly confirmed. “The one with that tiny bandage on his face is uncle Taeyong, and the one with the white cast is uncle Jungwoo.”

Doyoung’s death was already so heavy to take in, but upon discovering this hidden surprise, Jungwoo wiped his tears on his sleeve. But you were fast to hand him some tissue. He was younger than you, so your older sister instincts kicked in.

“This is unjust, (Y/N).” He murmured across you so Areum won’t pick up his words. Your lips pressed against each other, maintaining a straight face at him. He was right.

With Taeyong, his arms spread out wide for the small girl who willingly walked to him. He loved children, having a nephew back home. He caressed her smooth hair down to her jaw. The first thing he distinguished was her pretty eyes followed by her squishy cheeks, resembling so much of his late friend.

“You’re so pretty, Areum. Did your mom tell you that you mirror so much of your dad?”

“Yes, she does! But I’ve never met him and I don’t when I will, uncle Taeyong.”

A tragedy how the splitting image of his best friend doesn’t see what everyone sees. But again, she’s only 3 and she can only process so much. She doesn’t know the real truth behind her father’s location, except that he was working far, far away. There are days she’d ask if he’d come back soon, yet your only response is not now. This isn’t the right time for her purity about life to stain.

“Well Areum,” Jungwoo gathered his senses again, crouching down to her level. “As his friends, we know that you look just like him! Prettier even.”

“Really? Tell me more about him, uncle Jungwoo!”

It’s about time someone else shared stories about your late lover because yours was short-lived. It’s even more intriguing to listen to what other people have to say about Doyoung that weren’t his parents. Some stories told by Taeyong and Jungwoo were new to you too, giggling along to their ridiculousness when they’re not training or fighting. Loving their presence, you invited them to stay for dinner with your family, which they couldn’t reject.

What started as a tense conversation transformed into a heartwarming experience. These two boys earned a spot in your life, aspiring for longtime friendships with them. The tender way they cherished for Areum like they’re own after meeting for the first time, it’ll fill in bits of her void. In exchange, they insisted to chip in for you and her lives so it wouldn’t be just you and your family. Struggling already with the consequences of the war, it only felt proper to do so.

“Doyoung has always been there for us, now let us return the favor and be there for you and Areum.”

Your protests were deemed useless, so you allowed them to do so. Once you finished law school and take the exams, you could pay them back. It’s phenomenal how Doyoung’s good influence towards others multiplied even after his passing. Maybe if you began to view things this way, you’d recover sooner. Although he’ll always be in your thoughts, it wouldn’t be as sensitive as it is now.

For now, you’re just going to enjoy the bliss Taeyong and Jungwoo brought, retelling old tales of a drunk Doyoung on the dining table.

From behind your garden fence in secret, Doyoung secretly observed as his treasured companions interacted at last with positivity. His only daughter mirroring his adored smile, he lived in that moment vicariously through her.

What a good time to visit today, truly.

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