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autisticlee · 1 year

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I know I need to "just do things by myself" like literally everyone tells me, but I really wish I had someone I can always ask to go places with me even if it's just to one store for one quick thing.

I barely have the ability to function enough to take care of myself daily. leaving the house for any reason is basically impossible most days. I don't have the energy and ability to drive, find the thing I need at a store, interact with people, and do the checkout dance, then drive home, all while acting "normal" (or appropriate/presentably human enough) in public with the added bonus of sensory overload. for most people, going to the store is one single task. that's all it is. for me, it's hundreds of simultaneously occurring steps I need to remember to do and maintain the entire time....

it's so hard to explain this to people. no one gets it. but i need someone else to do the human-ing for me and I just follow along. they drive, answer or ask questions and let focus be on them, lead me to the thing I need, let me copy them so I dont stand out with my weirdness...so many times i'll go to a store to get a few things alone. the sensory cacophony of everything hitting me at once makes me forget what I'm looking for, tunnel vision on the offending sensory input and can't see where i'm going, can't find things even if they're in the same place they've always been, i've run into people and things, knocking stuff over, because my body disconnects from my brain and it's hard to control. if people talk to me, I can't process their words or respond. I can't ask questions if I need to. i'll wander lost for way longer than I want to be there.

this whole time, i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably obvious because idk how to act "normal" or as expected when alone. so many times I come home without one or more of the things I needed from a store even if I had a list in hand.

I completely space out and dissociate way more often than i would like. not even stores when i need to go in and out quickly, but anywhere. if I try going to a thing that's supposed to be fun, like say a festival or aquarium or anything else, and I go alone because I don't have a friend to go with, I spend the whole time in a sensory overloaded, dissociative state, while being required to perform "normal human" rituals and masking. then get home, realizing I didn't enjoy it or retain much of it because my brain was overworking and i got exhausted as soon as i got there. i didnt get to relax and enjoy any of it because it was so much work and my brain shut down while there to try protecting itself. it's a whole brain exercise that exhausts me beyond belief. this whole time. i'm trying my best to put on a mask and appear "normal" so I can blend in, but i'm struggling and it's probably actually very obvious because idk how to act "normal" when alone and don't have someone to copy and follow.

if I have someone familiar with me, especially someone comfortable who i dont have to lead or entertain, I can ground myself better and focus more on them. I follow and copy them so I dont have the try as hard to be a human and think about doing human things. it's easier to copy someone doing the things than to try to think of the hundred steps you probably forgot and perform them alone. they always answer people so fast before I even processed half the words that were said to me.

it always surprises me when people do that. they'll answer a question before I even processed it was a question! I always need someone to be there for me to answer for me because i'm too slow, they get impatient, and/or I answer incorrectly, if i'm able to speak at all being semi-speaking. at least half the time if I do get words out, they don't hear me or mishear me. for example, just yesterday, I made my mom go to a new sushi restaurant with me. the waiter apparently asked if I was ready to pay, my mom was gesturing to me ans asking if im ready or something and the waiter was looking at me, but my brain couldn't make any of it out at all. I was staring between them like ???????? and gave up and just shook my head no. my brain was trying to figure it out and process anything at all, but i got incredibly confused and completely froze up. my mom answered "not yet" and they left. I was like, what was that about ? She said "they wanted you to pay now. you're ready to go right? now we have to wait again." I didn't get any of that, and if I was alone, that would have been even worse because I wasn't able to figure out anything or even say words. I need someone with me at all times to cover my perpetually lost and confused ass lmao

but it's also a struggle when the other person is like this too, puts too much attention on me, or expects me to lead us both. it causes the same effects as if i'm alone, plus the added bonus of needing to entertain and/or advocate/answer for and lead THEM, when I can't even do it for myself! I had a friend like that and it was annoying and immediately exhausting every time we hung out.

I don't know if any of this is making sense. i'm sure at least one person's gets it, though, right? how it's hard to consciously and appropriately act human in public when alone, but copying or hiding behind another person makes it easier than thinking about it all yourself, while sensory overload! if i can I just exist along with them and the focus isn't all on me like it is when i'm alone, it's a lot easier.

acting "normal" like a human, or basically what's "appropriate" in public spaces around others takes so much brain power that most people don't have to even think about! because it's automatic for them. so they can't fathom how much i'm struggling and it's so easy for them to say "just do it/you don't need help/you don't need someone to do it with or for you/you're being lazy!" plus adding on sensory overload you can't ignore, while everyone else is able to completely tune out and ignore the horrible lighting, the squeaky cart wheels, the crying babies and screaming kids, the 50 different conversations, the loud phone ring tone a few aisles over, the annoying music playing, someone dropping a box of something, crinkling of wrappers, the cash register beeps, the air being a bit too chilly, the annoying seam on your socks, the scratchy material of your jacket, the overly bright display of products, etc. everything all at once in great intensity. people who can ignore this don't know how lucky they are. they also don't understand what it feels like. it's exhausting.

i'm like a cave gremlin seeing light and the world for the first time ever, every time I leave my room. everything is confusing and overwhelming, but because i'm human shaped, everyone expects me to have the expected human behaviors and they freak out when i dont meet those standards. they don't care how difficult it is for me and how much i'm struggling. they won't help or accommodate me. it has to be my fault I made them uncomfortable.

exposure doesn't make it any better and arguably makes it worse because more sensory overload and more need to use my brain to overthink every word and movement I do, leading to a very deep exhaustion immediately 😫

this is why functioning labels or comparing me to my "good" days/experiences sucks and shouldn't happen. I often need help/support and people expect me to ~do it myself~ and refuse to help me so I struggle and fail to exist correctly.

#autistic #autism #lee rambles #actually autistic #neurodivergent #audhd #autism things #sensory processing disorder #sensory overstimulation #sensory overload #i copy pasted this from where i first typed it and somehow pasted it in the incorrect order because tumblr app is a nightmare #it kept jumping as i was trhing to paste so things pasted jn the wrong spots. but i *think* i fixed it. apologies if not lmao #its one of those days. where i wish to go a place and do a thing but have no one to ask so i will not go #i need a dedicated beat friend i can always ask who preferably has the same work schedule as me or flexible time #or become rich and hire someone to do things with me l m a o #why is tumblr app such a nightmare though why is it jumping around while i type #and why does it turn a whole paragraph italics when i only highlighted ONE WORD.#and dont even get me started on trying to rearrange pictures in a post lmao #this has been a rant within a rant #autism stuff

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gamerbearmira · 11 months

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Thank you for your well wishes! I am taking a much needed break from work and my nephew is literally the best thing to happen in the entire world to me. I'll be trying to post more updates on this Au because I enjoy writing it a lot and might even explore some other Au's I've been thinking about I'm also going to be exploring more than one pov per part let me know what you think. Anyway on to the show BABY MIRA PART 5

The candle was at a loss on what it should do. This whole situation has gone so far away from it they have no idea how they got here. It wasn't supposed to be this way. It never was. Mirabel was supposed to figure out that she was the new matriarch of the familia when they added on to the house, when they built her a room, the house was going to expand, adding on to the foundation, making room for the coming generation. But that never happened. No instead she was pushed into the nursery and told to stay out of the way.

Casita was right they should have done something, but they had faith in the family, they didn't think things would get this far.... They were wrong and they had known they were wrong for a while now but didn't want to admit it.... Didn't want to admit they didn't know the familia as well as they thought they did.... But they should have and now Casita doesn't trust their judgement, refusing to listen to a thing they say and not going along with them anymore She is so angry with them about Mirabel and how they handled the situation. As for Mirabel herself.... Mirabel is in pain.....and it's all their fault. They didn't mean to hurt her but they did and they don't know what to do to make up for the pain they unintentionally caused besides going along with Casita, something they should have done a long time ago.

They had just apologized to Mirabel wanting to show her that the hurt wasn't on purpose that they cared about her, SAW her and the part she played in the famila, she had passed out as soon as they did, not that they blamed her. The poor girl was probably exhausted with the nights events and everything learned.

"you're sorry?" The voice is a whisper and angry and panicked in tone. It also isn't who they expected to address them. They had thought their current familia head would be asking that question but no, it's their healer who holds her sleeping youngest in the cradle of her arms rocking her slightly to keep her asleep. "You're sorry for what? What's happening? why did Casita do this?!" Oh.... in their focus on Mirabel they hadn't realized that their current head of familia hasn't translated what Casita said so them apologizing probably is very confusing and alarming to their healer. They look over to their current matriarch and she looks.... Lost.... eyes going from them to Mirabel to the door where Casita's tiles dance happily in the doorway, she's very proud of herself at the moment, finally being able to help her favorite family member the way she's been wanting to for a very long time has put her in a great mood. The candle doesn't know what's going on in the matriarch's head but they know they've caused enough damage for one night and decide to keep quiet for the rest of the night not wanting to cause anymore unintentional hurt or panic.

*"*"*"*"*""'"""*

Alma feels like she's on another plane of existence, or at the very least a part of her is, because NOTHING is making sense. Mirabel is a baby, turned into one by Casita as some sort of redo because apparently she has a gift but wasn't truly given it. Alma can't understand why? Why give her a gift but not truly give it to her? And why turn her into a baby? If it was just about redoing her ceremony why not just recreate a door and make it obvious who it was for? Why turn her back to a baby.... Before she can get lost in her train of thought her eldest child hushed but panicked voice breaks through "Mama please what did Casita say?! Why did the candle apologize? what's happening?!" Alma who had been looking at Mirabel sleeping little form at that moment looks up at her daughter who's still holding her Augustine not that far away standing just a little behind her. Seeing the obvious distress and building panic in her eldest child's eyes is enough for her to shake off the daze her head was just thrown in. She quickly shakes her head before addressing her daughter "I'm sorry Mija I... I was lost in thought for a moment I didn't mean to startle you..I .. apparently Mirabel has had a gift this entire time... Why she didn't get a room and why her door disappeared wasn't explained, apparently it was all the candles idea and they refused to explain themselves to Casita and clearly aren't explaining themselves now so that is still a mystery. But Casita did explain why she turned Mirabel into a baby. She said..... She said that she's making up for the mistakes that the candle made that this is a type of redo...." She waits for her daughter's response knowing that it's probably not going to be a good one. she had basically just told her that their family home is demanding they redo her youngest child's childhood because of the mistakes of a candle. If she was in her daughter and son-in-laws position she would be fuming.

She doesn't wait long for the reaction julieta and Augustine blink at her once then twice before a hushed choked "what?!" Comes from both of them julieta's shoulders starting to shake slightly as tears flood her eyes and stream down her cheeks and her arms which are still cradling Mirabel tighten their hold. Augustine has a lost look in his eyes as he comes closer from behind julieta putting one hand on her shoulder and the other around her back and takes hold of one of the arms cradling Mirabel trying to both support and comfort his wife. They both look devastated and Alma doesn't blame them. She wants to comfort them both but she has no idea what she can say in this situation to even try to make it better before she can even attempt to Julieta turns her head to look over at the still tiles outside of the room (when they stopped dancing is anyone's guess).

*"*"*"*"*""'"""*

The feeling of anger is not a very familiar one to Julieta. Shes never had much reason to be angry through her life and had never been very quick to it, not even in youth but right now.... Right now she finally understands the phrase seeing red.... Because how dare some stupid house come in and say that her baby, her wonderful, amazing Mirabel needed a redo. Mirabel doesn't need a redo. Mirabel doesn't need anything she's perfect the way she is, yes a gift and a room all her own would solve so much but she doesn't need to redo her entire life for those! She loves Mirabel the way she is now, clumsy and so full of love, energy and passion for the people around her and what she does, how sweet and thoughtful she is. What if all that disappears? The thought is so painful tears come to her eyes and spill down her cheeks so fast she can't even think about holding them back. She feels Augustine hold on her shoulder and arm it's familiar and keeps her grounded in the moment. She turns to look from her mama to look out the door to the now still tiles. When she speaks she can hardly recognize her own voice it's so filled with anger and panic "Why? Why would you do this to her? She loves you! She doesn't need to redo her life and she never needed a gift all she needed was a bedroom of her own!" She says all of this in a hiss not wanting to wake Mirabel up again knowing just how tired she must be. There is slight movement from the tiles obviously Casita responding she turns to her Mama for a translation. Her Mama is immediately translating for her clearly not wanting to startle her again "Casita says she knows Mirabel loves her And that she loves her too, that she loves her so much that she wants to give her everything that was withheld from her by the candle and the only way she knows how to do that is by starting over....." Her mama stops having nothing else to translate

"Well it's not a necessary thing to do, undo it and just give her a room!" Julieta is whisper yelling trying to stay quiet because of the time and the sleeping baby but wanting to show her anger and displeasure at her home. the tiles move again and again her mama translate "Casita says she's sorry she's upset you and Augustine. She says that this is for the best for Mirabel and the familia in the long run and...." Her mama pauses staring at Casita in horror for a second before in a shaking voice finishes translating for Casita ".... And even if she wanted to she can't undo what's been done..." It's a good thing Augustine was holding onto her because she feels her legs give out and if it wasn't for him she would have hit the floor hard and fast with Mirabel in her arms.

This can't be undone.... Her mirabel.... Her sweet 15 year old baby girl... She's gone and she's not coming back.... She looks down at the sweet little face cradled in her arms and just breaks down into silent sobs..... Because shes GONE but she's RIGHT here... and Julieta has no idea what to do... She can hear Augustine talking to her but her head is in a fog..... then she feels a familiar hand on her face it can't be Augustine's he's currently the only thing keeping her up at the moment she looks up from the somehow still sleeping baby version of her youngest to look up to see who is touching her. It's her Mama, she is saying something but Julieta can't make it out over the ringing in her ears. She forces herself to take a breath and focus on her mama's face trying to make sense of what's being said to her.

"it's okay Mija take a deep breath in." She does as her mama tells her, feeling overwhelmed and slightly terrified "Good Mi babé now take a slow breath out for me, that's it!" She does, feeling her heart, which had been beating so fast she honestly thought she was having a heart attack, slow down and everything which had been blurry before was completely in focus now her mama drops her hands from her face seeing her calming down.

"what are we going to do mama?!" She hears herself ask, voice shaken and in a whisper. She never looks away from her needing to see her mami's face, needing to know everything is going to be alright, her mama sighs in a way she's never heard before, it's tired and almost sounds defeated "I don't know Mija, I really don't know...." She whispers looking down at the floor for a moment before looking back up at her a resolve in her eyes, "But there is nothing we can do now but try and get some rest before we have to tell the others in the morning." Before she can really argue Julieta feels herself being guided up from her sitting position to standing Augustine's voice whispering "come on mi vida let's get you and Mira to bed we can deal with all of this in the morning." She allows herself to be led back to her room by her husband he sits her down on the bed she can hear him making noises around her but her focus is on the little baby asleep in her arms she feels a hand on her shoulder and she looks up startled not having heard Augustine come up "Here Mi Vida, I made a little pillow fort in the middle of the bed for our little Miraboo to sleep nice and safe between us." She lets him take her watching him carefully suddenly very uneasiness about not having Mirabel in her arms, what if something happens?

She watches Augustine carefully lay their daughter down in the little pillow fort and just as careful as he laid her down he slides himself to one side of the pillow fort facing Mirabel. She slides herself over to the other side of it just as carefully laying on her side so she's also facing Mirabel. There's nothing more she can do tonight but watch as Mirabel, and then eventually Augustine, sleeps. She wants to join them really she does, she's never been more exhausted in her life. But what if something happens to Mirabel again? What if she disappears completely?

Yes there's nothing more they can do now but wait till morning, But that doesn't mean Julieta shouldn't watch her baby until then.

Well I’m glad your taking a breath and I hope you have fun with your nephew <333 And I can’t wait for more baby Mirabel (BUT TAKE BREAKS⁉️⁉️⁉️)

Ok like. Everyone’s perspective is so cool, I like that <333 but like rs. Everyone being confused, distressed and shoot, even mad is completely reasonable. Like I’d be confused asf too 😭 though I do see where Casita is coming from. I mean she can’t warn them about it, because the others definitely would’ve done something stop it (if they even could??? I mean Mirabel’s not turning back to normal by Casita or the Candle, so clearly that’s that.). But like Agustín making the best with what’s he’s got, a round of applause for him bro 🫧🫧 like he’s pretty much been the most level headed the whole time, can we get this man a cupcake or SOMETHING, he deserves it 💀

Ayo if you have a name for this. You should totes give it to me because I’d love to put these in their own tag <333

#my asks are open #my asks #encanto #encanto au #au #encanto mirabel #encanto julieta #encanto agustín #de aged mirabel au #de aged mirabel

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niuniente · 6 months

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Hello Niu, I've come to ask you if you have any recommendations for particular books, websites, or people for dream interpretation? Or perhaps advice for how to interpret.

Tonight I had a dream and one part just felt so significant, and I must write it before its lost to me.

In the dream I was relaxing in a guest bed at a home that's not mine, and suddenly my mouth hurt and a tooth fell out. On rushing to the bathroom, it turned out many teeth had broken or fully fallen out or had big ugly cavities (the absolute horror 😱)

In one particular cavity, there was a whole entire frog hiding inside? Idk how?? It must have been very small.

In my hand full of broken bloody teeth there was a good sized round stone, with a small iridescence on the edge. On breaking open this stone, it had a beautiful rainbow ammonite fossil.

I know I can google "frog dream meaning" and "broken teeth dream meaning" there are just soooooo many results, and often websites vary drastically in what they say (especially for frogs) so I wanted to ask your thoughts on where to look

Regardless if you have advice, thank you for your time and your open inbox. Wishing you good vibes and good times <3

I'm unfortunately not specialized in dreams and don't know any extra good sources. When you encounter animals in dreams, check what their spiritual meaning is (for example in this case; "frog spirit animal"). Some of the animal guidance pages have meanings from multiple culture for the said animal. Something there most likely fits your situation.

Broken teeth and tooth injuries are always stress or anxiety related dreams. What worries you at this moment? Have you taken enough time to rest? How's your self confidence?

Long, long time ago I read of a woman who has been doing dream interpretations for 30 years. She said that the best person to tell what the dream means is the person who had the dream, because it's a direct message from the person's subconscious mind.

When googling, keep googling until you land to something which resonates with you. I once had a dream where two spiders twice of my size came inside a house I was in. When I defended myself and hit one of them, it cried out with a sad voice my spirit guide's name, Ian.

After the dream I spent hours trying to understand what a Spider means. All dream interpretations said that it was a bad omen but it didn't feel like it, especially when the spiders were friendly and called Ian, who is my guardian. Finally, I found a Hopi story of the Grandmother Spider, Hopi Kokyangwuti, who created the world and humans (if I remember it right). I realized that the Spiders in my dream were encouraging me to be more creative, as I had planned to but kept pushing it aside because I was "too busy".

Since then, seeing living spiders randomly has always meant for me that it's time to be creative, especially to write something. I literally fall into a bad health and a bad mental space if I don't do something creative regularly, so Spider is always a good reminder that time to get creative.

You can find your own meanings to your dreams and symbols like this, too. Sometimes it is a bit like a detective work.

#ask niu

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gayshipsandanxiety · 2 years

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For the ask game: music recs?? Please??? I've listened to the front bottoms' whole discography like 5 times now i have nothing to listen to

your music taste is already iconic but here ya go <3

the psychedelic furs: i started listening to them because they're my dad's favorite band and GOD there is some gay stuff there. they do mostly synthpop (i think??? i'm bad at recognizing music genres). a lot of their stuff can be interpreted as a disdain for typical hetero white picket fence families/relationships. you absolutely HAVE to listen to love my way that song slaps so hard and some of my other favorites by them shock and soap commercial.

echo & the bunnymen: i found this band from this video (https://youtu.be/ek52acrA1lw) and lost my fucking mind. i have no idea what genre they are but they're and 80s british band and no 80s british band has ever done me wrong. some of my favorites by them are villiers terrace, it's alright (bestie you're gonna start crying when you hear it), clay, ripeness, and never stop (discotheque). the entire porcupine album slaps so fuckin hard.

tears for fears: this band has So Much Gender and they're one of the few 80s bands that i like their 21st century stuff. bestie the instruments!!! so many instruments!! pale shelter and memories fade are both mike wheeler anthems and they are very close to my heart. raoul and the kings of spain is a great album, head over heels is fantastic, and shout makes me astral project.

bronski beat: fuckin bronski beat!!! they're another synthpop band and jimmy somerville's vocal range is just *chef's kiss*. their songs are gay as fuck and their music is just so. music. i'm gonna be honest their songs kinda played a part in me realizing i was mlm. some of my favorites are why?, junk, need a man blues, punishment for love, and ofc smalltown boy.

arctic monkeys: yeah so you might not have heard of them because they're suuuper underground and indie /s. i'm pretty sure typing that sentence made me grow a beanie directly out of my skull lmao. anyway i really like vibe of their music and they go surprisingly hard. the am album is a banger, 505 is of course a classic, and the favorite worst nightmare and whatever people say i am, i'm not albums are also pretty good.

the smiths: either everyone in this band is gay or britain was just like that in the 80s idk. they have a lot of angsty gaycoded songs so ofc i'm obsessed with them. how soon is now?, back to the old house, sweet and tender hooligan, there is a light that never goes out, this charming man, and i started something i couldn't finish all gave me psychic damage but i reccomend you listen to all their songs because literally everything they make is a banger.

taylor swift: you're already gay and a byler stan so you're halfway to becoming a swiftie /hj. i can't put into words what her music does for me i'm just so in love with her songwriting. some of my faves by her are you are in love, new romantics, gold rush, exile, cardigan, cruel summer, paper rings, it's nice to have a friend, all too well, don't blame me, delicate, look what you made me do, dress, i did something bad, and wildest dreams. the midnights album comes out on the 21st!!!!

violent femmes: if you like the front bottoms you'll LOVE the violent femmes they have a lot of folk punkish queercoded songs. just like my father and mother of a girl will turn you into an angsty bisexual male character, no killing is a religious experience, love love love love love is the queer agenda, their violent femmes album i literally cannot listen to without headbanging, and their why do birds sing album could be the soundtrack to literally any steddie fanfic.

gin wigmore: i'm gonna be honest i need to listen to more of her stuff but i was soooo obsessed with her back in my mcu era. i loooove her voice it's so raspy and cool. she does country??? but Woman Country that's actually really good and about heartbreak and becoming stronger. her songs make me feel like the main character of a western. written in the water, black sheep, happy ever after, hbic, and hallow fate slay so hard.

black pistol fire: ahhhh i love them omg. they're grunge rock i think? biggg boot stomping energy. black halo, fever breaks, hope in hell, level, look alive, and well wasted are all blorbo anthems.

des rocs: ehehe i'm so obsessed with this weird little rat man (affectionate). his music is just so !!!!!!! idk how he doesn't have a million listeners already. he's a rocker and sings a lot about mental illness and toxic relationships. let the vultures in is a fantastic ep although huge tw for mental illness, mmc is great, suicide romantics absoultley Destroyed me, wayne is a Song, and his album a real good person in a real bad place is the best thing ever god i love his songs.

bishop briggs: another artist from my mcu era lol. literally every fandom has an edit to her song river but dark side, jekyll & hyde, and high water also slay. the emotion she puts into her songs is so <3333 and GOD her voice is amazing.

barns courtney: GENDER MAN GENDER MAN DOES WHATEVER A GENDER CAN <3 another rocker but he has some acoustic stuff too. his albums 404 and the attractions of youth are just incredible and sinners is also fantastic.

sleepover asks <3

#asks #mutuals <3

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poguestvff · 3 years

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Used To The Cold — S. Cameron

In which Sarah Cameron comes to a realization after her girlfriend moves across the country.

taglist | main masterlist | 2.0k words

warning(s): none, fluff, i heart sarah <33

Have you ever lost something that held either so many memories or brought a sort of happiness that just warmed you immediately even at the sight of it? Most people have something like that. Such as for children when it comes to losing stuffed animals or action figures that were a source of comfort, they missed it like hell. Said children grow up and look for a new source of comfort. Some teenagers found it in weed and alchohol, others in sports. For Sarah Cameron, she grew out of the beautiful pink blanket her father had gotten her as a toddler. As she grew into a teenager, she found a new solace.

Her girlfriend.

Sarah made it very apparent to show her love to her girlfriend who, at one point, was just her best friend who she could hardly even bare to be away from. Sarah had known she'd loved Y/n before they even got together by the way Sarah had never felt claustrophobic in the friendship that she held with the other girl. She said the three words within the first six months of being with her, words she had never spoken to another being other than her family. It was a word she, personally, took seriously. For her to say it to Y/n showed the amount of trust she held within her. Trust to not feel so closed off with Y/n.

At the beginning of the relationship, Sarah was glad that not much had changed between the two of them. That Y/n let her have her space whenever she needed it without the dependent need to be together all day though it quickly became backwards. Sarah grew even more clingy to Y/n, hardly able to deal without her hands being stuck to her girlfriend like glue. Whenever they went out to lunch, Sarah played a one sided game of footsies that only brought a smile upon Y/n’s features, one of Sarah’s favorite traits about her. Sarah loved the idea of always having a person to call her own, Y/n seeming to be the one person who could bring out her newfound touchiness. Though, sometimes she pondered on whether Y/n herself was even handling it or if she just ‘put up’ with it. If she did have an indifference towards Sarah’s actions, she surely never showed her disinterest in it.

Though the last time Sarah had held on to her girlfriend felt soul crushing and gut wrenching. As the two of them stood on the creaky, wooden dock just before the ferry, Sarah felt drained. Between the amount of crying she’d done in just the past few days had been enough to make her want to sleep forever and the comfort of her girlfriends arms around her hadn’t helped that feeling. Tears held a steady stream down both of their faces though Sarah was the one who was unable to contain her sobs. People passed around them, solemn looks given to the two of them as they listened in on the sniffles and soft wails.

Y/n didn’t need to be a genius to understand that this was twice as hard for Sarah as it would be for her. Y/n was leaving, miles away that Sarah couldn’t even pin on when the next time she’d being able to hold on to her would be. All she knew was that this embrace that Y/n held on her would be the last one for months and there wasn’t a thing that would be able to make up for it between now and then.

It evoked an indescribable sort of fear within Sarah but she knew it was immutable. If Sarah could, she'd even drop her whole life within Outer Banks to follow her girlfriend across the world. There wasn't much Sarah wouldn't do and there wasn't much Y/n wouldn't do for Sarah either, including the moving date having already been pushed back a month because of Y/n's several arguments with her parents.

"I don't want you to go." sarah whispered as y/n kissed her neck. She could hear the blonde's pained and wavering voice, how affected she already was even as Y/n hadn't even stood on the boat yet.

"I know, lover." the y/h/c girl spoke in a low tone, only sarah able to hear her words of affirmation. Y/n was first to pull back, placing her hands on Sarah's cheeks. The sight of Sarah with puffy eyes and a quivering lip made y/n's heart throb and a guilty feeling blanket over her like a raising tide. "i'll visit. Every chance I get, you know I will."

"It won't be the same." she lamented. Y/n placed her lips against Sarah’s, delicately as if the blonde were made of porcelain. When Y/n's parents had called for her and Ward and Rose had called Sarah away from the dock, Sarah only seemed to want to cling further, fingers pressing further into the thin jacket Y/n worse, but their time had finally run out. Even after weeks of pretending that they had all the time in the world, like nothing could pull the two of them apart, it had happened.

The first few weeks, the whole Cameron house had known Sarah spent most of her nights crying herself to sleep and the entire Y/l/n house knew Y/n was not going to be speaking to them for a little while due to their newest decision. Both groups of parents hadn't known that pulling the duo away from one another would become such a quagmire for each of them.

When Y/n did finally decide to talk to her parents, it was usually to say she was leaving to explore the area in which she refused to get to know the first few days. With a driver license, it gave her just a bit of freedom from her parents who's impromptu decisions had still caused for a tearing in their familial relationship.

Y/n sat in her parked car, a hot beverage in hand to adjust to the cold in which she'd just stood in for five minutes. All of it for a drink that wasn't even that good in her opinion but she dealt with it. With the hand not holding the steaming drink, she opened her phone, smiling immediately at the photo of her and sarah as her background. She unlocked it, scrolling around to find Sarah's contact and setting her phone up against the dashboard. While it began to ring, Y/n situated herself to begin to drive. "Hi, Y/n/n!" Sarah shouted excitedly the second she'd answered.

At her tone of voice did Y/n laugh. The enthusiasm was no surprise but it was funny to Y/n every time. "Hi, baby." She replied, fhe smile remaining on her face as she looked towards the screen. Sarah sat at her desk, her hands under her jaw though a pencil between her fingers. She had focused all of her attention from the papers in front of her to the driver on the other end of the phone. "What are you doing?"

The sound of whizzing paper had made Y/n glance to the phone seeing a math sheet now replacing Sarah's face before she placed it back down, a frown appearing on her features. "Math."

"Didn't you just start like two days ago?" Y/n asked, taking a sip from her drink.

"Yes and this teacher is an absolute bitch. You're just lucky you don't start for another week. You would hate Mr. Henley."

Y/n let out an awfully dramatic gasp. "Um, hello, Mr. Henley was literally my home room teacher last year, I'll have you know. Show some respect." She said, almost missing Sarah's chagrined look as she smiled.

"You're supposed to be on my side here."

"Sorry, i don't believe in biases, Sar." She joked for sarah to let out a small snicker.

"So tell me, how's minnesota?" Sarah asked, trying to spark up a conversation even if the distance was the same thing she wanted to keep her mind off of.

"Oh, it's so great. So many hot people." she remarked.

"You're not funny, no one has ever found you funny." Sarah replied though unable to hold in her laugh along with her girlfriend. "I'm serious. we haven't talked much about it and i don't want to like... avoid your new life now."

Y/n sighed, looking towards the phone to see Sarah looking back down at her work in front of her. "Fine. Well, it doesn't particularly suck. The no surfing part definitely does, though, but what can you do. And the coffee here... no, its just so bad, babe. granted, i only had one, and it's in my cup holder right now but it's gross."

"My coffee making is better, right?" Sarah asked as Y/n gave a hefty nod.

"So much better, even if it is the only thing you're good at making." Y/n laughed and Sarah attempted to refuse a smile, her cheeks quivering from trying to keep it down. "But the weather dropped today, randomly. It was seventy yesterday, fifty today but i think i'm getting used to the cold."

Sarah lifted her head back to the phone, watching Y/n focus on driving, her eyes diverting on places away from the screen. Sarah but at her inner cheek, drumming her fingers against the white wood that rested under her forearms. "Used to it?" Sarah asked. She knew Y/n's move was permanent at least until she was eighteen but something about those words made it seem more realistic. She was getting used to a place that wasn't home.

Y/n hummed. "Yeah, i'm probably being dramatic. I saw a guy walking around in a tank top and shorts while i'm wearing double pair of socks right now." she grinned at her own comment though picking up on Sarah's sudden discomfort when she replied with a small 'wow'. "Lover?"

"Yeah?"

"What's going on?" Y/n asked, the car slowing to a stop at a red light.

Sarah quickly shook her head. "No, it's nothing. Just... the work. Keep your eye on the road."

"Sarah." The blond recognized the tone of voice quickly.

"Just... I just fully realized how permanent this is. I won't see you until, what? December? That's a long time, Y/n! And, i get it, it's your home now and i can't do anything about it but—"

Y/n was quick to cut her off. "I never said this is home. Sure I live here but it's just a couple walls and a roof. It's not home, Sarah." Y/n began. "Home is you. And trust me, i've been missing home the second i got on that ferry."

Despite them having to look at one another through a glass screen the feeling—the connection between the two of them was still felt. Sarah could feel the normal warm feeling she would've gotten whenever Y/n would simply hold her hand or brush her hair over her ear. she held that much of an effect on Sarah in person and somehow even thousands of miles away.

Sarah hadn't even realized she had been staring for a total of twenty seconds until a singular tear fell down her blushing cheeks. she quickly sniffled, recomposing herself as she wiped it away. "Are you seriously making me cry right now?" She muttered with the way the atmosphere had become though relishing in the way Y/n laughed in response.

"Yes, thank you for ignoring everything i just said, lover." Y/n put the car back in drive as the light went green. Due to the steets being relatively empty in her new small town, she took the time to look back over at the phone to Sarah. "I love you."

Sarah's smile widened in thag very moment, pursing her lips before pushing them out. "I love you more."

"And don't worry. I won't get to used to it. I'll be back home, to you, before you even know it." Y/n took a small glance to the phone, enjoying Sarah's gaze that showed even with the distance put between the two of them, they'd be fine.

#outer banks x reader #outer banks #outer banks imagine #jj maybank #sarah cameron fluff #sarah cameron x reader #sarah cameron #obx imagine #john b routledge #pope heyward

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topsytervy · 3 years

Text

The Right Time ~ JJ Maybank

Blurb: JJ finds the right time to tell you how he feels in his own JJ way.

This is Part 2 of Not The Right Time so if you haven't read Part 1, you can read it here.

Word Count: 2,819

Warnings: mentions of drinking, cheating, a non-descriptive fight, teensy bit of blood, small nod towards suicidal thoughts at the end, cliche and cheesy writing, swearing, poorly proofread so probably spelling and grammar mistakes, I think that's it.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ever since your breakup with Brett, JJ had been doing everything in his power to make sure you knew it had nothing to do with you and Brett just couldn't keep his dick in his pants.

It was hard for him to see you like that, all heart broken and sad, but at least he was able to see you. Kie, Pope, Sarah and John B had tried visiting multiple times during your post breakup hermit phase with little to no success.

A knock on the door sounded throughout the house as JJ finished preparing lunch for you two.

"Hold on!" He hollered, finishing up your sandwich before heading over to the door.

He opened it to reveal the other four members of your group.

"Hey." JJ greeted his friends.

"Can we see her today?" John B asked.

"I can ask but her 'social battery's low'. Her words, not mine." JJ sighed.

"It's just that it's hard for us to not see her, J."

JJ looked at Sarah. " At least you don't have to see her completely shattered everyday and have to sit and watch her eat three times a day to make sure she actually does eat."

Pope looked past JJ and saw the sandwiches on the table. "Can I sit with her today?"

JJ looked at Pope before nodding and gesturing towards your sandwich. "That one right there."

Pope smiled before grabbing the sandwich and knocking on your door, hearing a faint come in afterwards.

You looked to see Pope entering, a small smile on his face. "Hey. Heard about your low battery and I figured you'd want to see someone who's not JJ but not the whole peanut gallery."

You smiled lightly as you sat up. "Thanks, Pope. I love JJ but he can be a bit...overbearing sometimes."

"And this is one of those times." Pope nodded.

You sighed as Pope gave you your sandwich.

"He's just concerned about you. We all are."

"l know."

"How about I tell you about some books I've been reading?"

"I'd like that Pope." You smiled as you bit into your food.

It's not that JJ was bad at comforting or anything like that. In fact, ever since you were a kid, you always went to him for comfort when you were upset. It's just that JJ always seemed to want to rush your mourning period.

JJ didn't like seeing you sad so the less time you spent crying and moping, the better for him.

"Morning, Y/N/N." JJ smiled lightly as he drew back your curtains.

"J, get out." You mumbled into your pillow.

"You gotta get up, sweetheart." JJ practically sang, walking over to your bed and grabbing the comforter.

Your grip immediately tightened. "Don't J."

"I know it's only been a week but come on Y/N. Let in some sun. If not for you, do it for your children." He nodded towards your plants as he laid down next to you.

"I can't get up." You told him.

"Sure you can. You're a bad bitch who isn't going to let this break her. I'm not going to allow you to bury yourself in work and hole yourself up in your room forever just because some dumbass doesn't realize when he's got the greatest girl to ever walk the earth."

You stared at the blonde next to you. "JJ. I can't get up cause you're in here and I'm only in my underwear.

JJ rolled his eyes. "Y/N, all due respect, that's no excuse cause I've seen you naked many times before. the time you broke your ankle in the shower being the main one cause I had to help you in and out of the shower multiple times."

You blushed at his words before shoving him. "Just get out."

JJ did as you requested but not before tossing you some clothes.

So when a few months had passed and you seemed to be back to pre-breakup Y/N, JJ was happy to hear Kie mention a party.

Everyone looked at you and you shrugged. "Why the hell not?"

JJ, John B and Pope all exchanged smiles as Sarah and Kie pulled you up from your seat, saying something about making you so hot that the sun would quit and you'd have to take over the job of keeping the earth warm.

JJ watched as you left, sighing as he let his head fall against the back of the couch.

John B looked at his best friend. "Don't be a helicopter JJ tonight."

A look of confusion found its way onto JJ's face. "Helicopter JJ? What the fuck does that mean?"

Pope sighed. "It's like a helicopter parent except you. You tend to hover over Y/N/N at parties and get a bit...protective at times."

"I do that with Kie and Sarah too." JJ scoffed.

"Not really." The boys responded.

"You don't follow Kie's movements as much as Y/N's." Pope started.

"You certainly don't freak out as much when you lose Sarah or Kie but you almost had a panic attack when you lost Y/N that one time at the store and literally had someone page her." John B added.

"You hide some of Y/N/N's clothes when we're going out because you don't like the chance of her wearing something that could cause a guy to like her and cause you to lose your chance with her."

"I once saw you shield her eyes at prom when people started grinding on each other."

"Okay! So I'm a bit more protective of Y/N than the other two. Sue me." JJ cut the two off.

"Point is that this is her first party in months. Let her get a bit too drunk and make out with some hotshot Kook against a tree."

"Hell, let her get some dick tonight." John B shrugged.

Pope and JJ looked at their curly haired friend before JJ shook his head.

"Fine but she's not getting dick from just anybody. I have to approve of him." JJ said as he stood up and left the room,

The two other boys sat in silence before Pope spoke.

"You know what? I count that as progress and when we make progress with JJ…"

"We have a beer." John B finished, getting up to go get each of them a can.

*****

You and the rest of the pogues made it to the party and found yourselves a home by the bonfire. Rafe, Topper and Kelce had stopped by to say that they were happy to see you again and Kelce was happy that his beer pong partner was back because Rafe and Topper just didn't compare to you.

JJ stared at you, the fire illuminating your features as you laughed at something Kie had said, red cup in his hand that was half-empty. He brought the cup to his lips and finished his beer before turning to you.

"Refill, Y/N/N?"

You nodded before turning to the rest of the group. "JJ and I are making a refill trip. Who else needs one? Speak now or get it yourself." You announced as you stood up.

JJ smiled at your words before also getting up, ready to grab some cups. Pope and Sarah held out their cups while Kie and John B shook their heads.

You took the cups that needed a refill before you and JJ made your way through the crowd of people towards the keg. JJ cracked some jokes with some of the others around the keg and you rolled your eyes, a small smile on your face before you nudged him with your shoulder.

You two started refilling the cups you had before you were interrupted.

"Haven't see you at a party in awhile, Y/N."

You and JJ turned your heads to see Brett standing there, two cups in his hand.

JJ rolled his eyes before looking at you, seeing you avert your gaze back to the keg.

"Why don't you go back to your whore over there Brett." JJ deadpanned.

You smacked JJ's wrist. "Don't call her a whore, JJ. It's rude."

"I'm just stating my opinion."

"Oh so she does still talk. I was just confused when she didn't say hi to me when I greeted her." Brett said.

"Can you get the fuck away from us? She clearly doesn't want to have a conversation with you." JJ snapped.

"I would love to know what you have to say, Y/N, or are you gonna let JJ over here keep talking for you." Brett aimed at you, ignoring the blonde who was getting more agitated by Brett's presence.

"I have nothing to say to you." You shrugged, going to grab the cup.

"We should talk." Brett went to grab you but JJ grabbed his wrist.

"Don't touch her."

"What are you gonna do about it, Maybank?"

"I've got two fists that have been itching to meet your face for months now and tonight might be their lucky night if you keep it up."

"JJ, lets just go." You whispered, placing a hand on his forearm.

JJ looked at you before grabbing his and Pope's cup before following you back to the group.

"Hey, JJ!" Brett called causing JJ to look back.

You gasped as a fist made contact with JJ's face. JJs hand immediately flew to his eye, gingerly touching his eyebrow. He pulled his fingers away to see blood and he chuckled before swinging his own fist.

It wasn't long before JJ had Brett on the ground, pissed beyond belief. Brett managed to get a few more punches in but JJ definitely got way more in by the time you managed to pull him off of Brett with Kelce's help.

"JJ! Calm down, man! He's not worth your time!" Kelce hollered, pinning his arms to his side.

"JJ, look at me. It's done. It's over. You're good now." You told him.

Brett stood up with a scoff. "He could have fucking killed me."

"I fucking should, you cheating son of a bitch!" JJ spat, Kelce's grip tightening on the blonde boy when JJ attempted to lunge forward.

"J, let's just go home. We've had our fun."

JJ looked at you before relaxing causing Kelce to release his hold on him slowly. You grabbed JJ's hand and pulled him away from the small crowd that had formed around him and Brett.

You two said goodbye to your friends and walked back to JJ's truck, you climbing into the passenger seat and him into the drivers.

It was a quiet ride home, Twenty One Pilots playing softly through the speakers the entire time. JJ referred to them as his therapy band, often putting them on after a hard day at work or after a fight so it wasn't really a surprise that he had one of their CDs in.

Once you got home and inside, JJ locked the door before turning towards his bedroom.

"Um, excuse me. Where are you going, JJ?" You asked, grabbing his wrist.

"Bed."

You shook your head. "We gotta clean you up. Bed can wait."

You tugged him into the bathroom and grabbed the first aid kit as you instructed JJ to sit on the toilet lid. He complied, bouncing his leg up and down as you put a little hydrogen peroxide on a cotton ball.

"That's your first fight in a while." You commented, grabbing his chin lightly and forcing him to look at you.

He grunted in response as you started cleaning the few small cuts on his face. "The prick deserved it for what he did to you. You'd have to be fucking nuts to cheat on someone like you."

You felt my heart flutter at his words and I sighed. "I just hate seeing you like this, JJ. All scratched up."

JJ chuckled as he shook his head lightly. "Oh, Y/N, sweetheart. This is nothing compared to the beat down Brett just got and what my dad used to dish out when I was living with him."

JJ saw your face drop at his words and your eyes begin to water.

"Hey, Y/N. It was just a small joke." He told you gently as he grabbed your hands with his.

You shook your head and went to pull away from him but he just pulled you back, looking up at you as if he was a parent trying to comfort their child.

It weirdly looked like all those Super Nanny time out scenes where the kid looks down in shame as they apologize and the parent is dipping their head down to make eye contact with the kid. You know what I'm talking about?

"I don't like it when you do the whole 'my dad hit me harder thing', J, whenever you try to play off your pain and injuries." You mumbled, a tear slipping out.

JJ wiped away the single tear, mad at himself for upsetting you. "I'm sorry but maybe the waterworks are a bit much. Hmm?"

"I'm sorry. It's just that you shouldn't fight my battles for me. I was going to just walk away from him."

"I'm sorry, are we ignoring the fact that I was walking away? He threw the first punch and I made sure he would think twice before doing that again."

"I just don't like you getting hurt because of me." You sighed.

"Hey, I'd rather get hurt than have you get hurt."

You wrapped your arms around his neck and his went around your waist.

"I always liked your hugs better." You hummed.

JJ felt himself smile. "Yeah?"

You nodded. "You wanna know something, J?"

"Yeah."

"I always felt like you paid more attention to me than Brett. After a year of dating him, he still didn't know my favorite flowers or that I was allergic to bees. Those are the two simplest things to learn about your significant other. You know that I can't even stand the smell of fish sticks anymore or that I can't watch the Freaky Fred episode of Courage the Cowardly Dog or I'll have nightmares."

"That's because I care about you a lot." JJ whispered, kissing your temple.

You ran a hand through JJs blonde locks and sighed. "I wish I dated you instead."

You froze. You could not believe that you had just told your best friend that. You also could not believe how easily those words left your mouth and how much truth there was to them. You did wish you dated JJ instead and not just because of how attractive he was. He always treated you way better than Brett and was more intune -and concerned- about how you were feeling.

JJ also froze, praying that he heard those words correctly and that it wasn't his mind playing a sick joke. He had been waiting for the right time for months and his gut had been telling him all day that today was the day but he fought the urge, afraid his gut was lying. But this...this must be the sign.

"Do you really mean that?" He asked, fighting a smile in case you meant a guy like him and not actually him.

You paused before nodding. "Yeah, I do."

You felt his arms tighten around you and his face bury itself in the crook of your neck.

"You remember all those months ago when you made a big deal about me liking someone and you asked me why I hadn't made a move yet and I told you it wasn't the right time?" JJ words were muffled by your skin.

"Mhmm."

He pulled away to look at you. "I think now's the right time."

And then he pressed his lips against yours. You were quick to kiss back and it held the adoration you felt was missing long before you and Brett broke up.

You pulled away, placing a hand on his cheek which caused JJ to close his eyes and lean into your touch.

"Thank you for being in my life." You whispered, taking the forgotten cotton ball in your hand and pressing it to the scratch above his eyebrow.

JJ smiled. "No. Thank you for being in mine. You helped me through the toughest times and gave me a reason to stay."

"I wouldn't have objected to leaving the Outer Banks with you."

"I meant like stay here, like on Earth." He mumbled.

You stared at him before kissing his cheek. "Thank you for staying here with me."

JJ opened his eyes and grinned as some hair fell in front of his eyes. "As much as I love our little moment, can we move the cleaning process along cause I kind of want to climb into bed with you in my arms tonight."

You smiled, pushing his hair out of his face. "Sure thing, Jay-Bird. That sounds amazing."

~~~~~~~~

#jj outer banks #jj obx #jj x reader #jj maybank #rudy pankow

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madamewriterofwrongs · 4 years

Note

I'm so sorry, it's such a horrible day all around and I'm sending you al the good vibes I can find. I've never really sent a prompt before, but if you felt like writing some Buddie 2.01 AU, where their first meeting wasn't actually their first meeting, that might be fun? Or literally anything, everything you write makes me smile! Hope it gets better soon!! ❤

Hey! Thank you for sending this. Tonight has been an absolute shitshow of emotions but having something to focus on definitely helped.

So, yeah. This is a First Meeting AU of sorts. Again, thank you for giving me something to do other than cry. I really appreciate it.

Dear Eddie,

Thank you for being my bunk buddy. I had a really good camp with you. Please write me from Texas.

From, Buck.

Dear Buck,

Hi from Texas. Thank you for the bracelet. My sister said bracelets are for girls but I don’t care. I also had a really good time at camp and I can’t wait to go next year. Will you be there, next year? Maybe we could bunk together again. School starts soon and I’m a little nervous because fifth grade is my last year at this school and I don’t want to leave my friends behind. What’s your favourite subject in school? Mine

Dear Eddie,

Please tell your sister than anyone can wear bracelets and that if she tries to make fun of them again, the ghost of Camp Kuriakas will haunt her dreams. I tried that on my sister but she just laughed at me so maybe you’ll have better luck. Mom says I can’t go back to camp next year because we’re moving and it will be too far away. But don’t worry, you can write me from camp and tell me all about it. I don’t really like school but I do like the library. I’ve been reading this book called

Dear Buck,

Camp wasn’t as fun without you but you were right about Suzie Pecoski, she had to leave a day early because the popcorn got stuck in her braces. Jose laughed but I told him not to and he told Counselor Lia that I punched him. So after dinner, I did. He didn’t tell that time. I still missed you though. I hope your new house is nice. What is your room like?

Dear Eddie,

I can’t believe I start high school tomorrow. I tried to call Maddie and ask for advice but she didn’t pick up so I guess I’m on my own for this one. Except I’m not alone because I have you. You’d answer if I called, right, Eddie? Anyways, I’ve been thinking about your theory about the island being purgatory

Buck,

I have no idea what I’m doing but I definitely think I just asked Kylie Wilcox to the dance. I am freaking out! Kylie’s nice and she’s so pretty but I didn’t mean to ask her. I just meant to ask if she needed someone to help on the committee. But I guess I have a date to the dance. What do I even wear? I’m not asking Sophia. One: she’s two years younger and would just make fun of all my choices and Two: she would definitely tell Adriana who would tell mom who would tell dad and then I’d never hear the end of it. Help me, Buck, you’re my only hope!

Eddie,

You do remember that these letters take weeks to get to me, right? Didn’t the dance already happen? I hope you didn’t trip over your two left feet and fall flat on your face. Oh wait. Yes I do. That’d be so funny. And you need to have more fun, Diaz.

Buck,

Have you ever had feelings for a guy that you thought you could only have for a girl?

Hi Eddie,

Isn’t email so much better? We’re one step closer to communicating like human beings. Welcome to the 21st century. Anyways, graduation’s coming up and my dad keeps asking me where I’m going to go to college and I don’t know how much longer I can keep avoiding answering him. How do I tell him I failed? How am I going to face him? He’s going to be so disappointed in me. Maddie and Doug are driving in for the ceremony and I haven’t even told her that they’re letting me walk across the stage out of pity. I’m scared.

Dear Buck,

Greetings from El Paso! Remember when I said I was never going to work for my father? Guess who’s the newest employee. I suppose it’s a good thing. This thing with Shannon is getting serious and I know I should have a stable job. I just thought I’d have a little time, you know? I thought I’d get to be me for a little bit. Sorry Seattle didn’t work out. Hey, maybe you could try Texas next. Try all four corners of the country, right? That wouldn’t be so bad.

Dear Eddie,

I am writing from an internet café in Guatemala. Don’t ask me how I got here, I’m not entirely sure myself but I know it involved tequila. And possibly the guy I woke up next to (I think his name was Nico?) but who knows. Congratulations on Shannon getting pregnant!!! I know you’re freaking out. You don’t have to tell me that you’re freaking out because I know you. But you’re going to be a great dad. Hell, you’ve been half-raising me since you helped me learn my times tables at camp. I can’t believe what losers we were that we stayed up all night doing math. Anyways, I’ll let you know when I’m back in the states. And STOP FREAKING OUT.

Dear Buck,

I’m sorry it’s taken so long to reply. The WiFi’s shit over here. I’m actually typing this from a hospital bed. Don’t worry, I’m okay. Or at least I will be. They said they’re sending me home and (you’re the only one I can tell this to) I got scared. I don’t know what’s waiting for me back in Texas. I don’t know what I’m coming home to. The officers keep telling me that it was an honor to serve my country and Shannon keeps telling me that she would rather I serve my family. I thought I was doing that but I was wrong. I was wrong about a lot of things, Buck, but there’s one thing I do know. Only one of us is throwing our life away for a worthy cause.

Eddie,

You are a pretentious asshole, you know that? You don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. Just because I don’t have a wife and a kid and a white picket fence, you think I don’t know what I’m doing with my life. You’re wrong. You think you know me because we shared a room one summer when we were kids but you don’t know me, Eddie Diaz. You just want me to be like you.

I’m sorry, Eddie. I didn’t mean any of it. The truth is I’m lost. You were right. You’re always right. I know I’m just a screw up but please don’t tell me I’ve screwed this up too.

Eddie, I’m so sorry. Please respond.

Hey Buck,

It’s been a while (two years, I think?). I just wanted to see how you were doing. A little update on my life. Shannon left me. Sort of. It’s complicated. Christopher and I actually just moved to California so I could start a new job. I’m hopeful that this is the right change for us. I hope you’re doing well. I know I never said it but I forgive you and I’m sorry. You were my best friend, Buck, and I hope we can be friends again. I didn’t realize how much I relied on you until you were gone. I know I’m the one who shut you out. I really hope you can forgive me for that because I miss you. I miss my friend. Anyways, if you’re ever in Los Angeles, let me know. You know after all these years, I don’t know what you look like. I still remember the skinny kid with the birthmark over his eye who tried to go skinny dipping in the lake but slipped on the docks and bruised his elbow. I wonder what he’s up to.

Dear Eddie,

You’ll never believe this, but I ran into a guy at work who has the same name as you. What a coincidence, right? I think I was in denial for most of the day that, of all places, I would reunite with you at a fire station in Los Angeles. But I’m really glad we did.

Buck,

I’m sending instructions for Christopher’s birthday party (I know, I know, you are the party planning expert but I’m the father so you have to at least pretend to listen to me). He’s really looking forward to it. It’s the first one without Shannon so Buck? Please make it perfect for my kid? I could really use a win this year. And no ice cream cake (don’t think I don’t know he’s been trying to talk you into it). I’m already going to have to deal with a room full of hyper nine-year-olds, I don’t need melted ice cream on top of that. What am I saying? You’re the party planner, you can clean it up. What would I do without you?

Eddie,

I was going to text you but that seemed too informal and there’s too much pressure on a phone call so I thought I’d go back to what we do best. You were right when you said I was afraid. I’ve never felt this way about anyone and it’s you. We’ve known each other our whole lives and it never occurred to me that I might be in love with you. But that doesn’t mean I’m not. Eddie, I think I’ve been in love with you since we were nine years old and you kissed my bruised elbow. When you kissed me tonight, I don’t know, I froze. I’m so sorry, Eddie. If I could do it over, I’d still be kissing you. God, I really hope I haven’t screwed this up for good.

Hey Buck,

Turn around.

Love, Eddie.

#cj writes things #911 fox #911 fic #buddie #buddie fic #in the middle of writing this my boss called and the floodgates opened #so that's why this took as long as it did

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clean-bands-dirty-stories · 3 years

Text

Special Skill ~ J.P. (part 1)

A/n: After Drive By part 2 WIPED me the fuck out, I tried to rejuvenate myself with some lighter content and ended up realizing that I actually ADORE Bradley Steven Perry, so I went back and watched some old shows and movies he’s in. When I stumbled on Pants on Fire... well, you know I had to ;) This was the piece I was so excited about! It’ll be a two parter because I cannot do all of ANYTHING in one part it seems lmao

Warning: This is male reader and also PURELY self indulgent. Also, LOTS of lying and manipulation. Being ignored. Highschool. Nothing too serious.

Word Count: 5600+

MASTERLIST

Everyone has a special skill. Some people are just really great at school. Some people are fast learners. Some people are natural, easily funny. Some people are good with kids. Some people were fantastic at keeping promises, or never failed to do what they felt had to be done no matter the cost.

Jack Parker's special skill was lying.

Y/n's special skill was being completely invisible.

Not like in a superhero way, but in a high school way. Y/n was really quiet and reserved. He wasn't caught up in the normal high school things like relationships and popularity. In fact, he was withdrawn on purpose, finding most kids his age to be really annoying or ridiculous on some level. He was never rude, but he did prefer people watching and laughing to himself, to actually interacting with others.

He never meant to eavesdrop, it was just that he'd be sitting on the floor, leaning against a book shelf reading a book when someone on the other side of the bookshelf would start talking about something that he tuned into without thinking. Or, his quietness allowed people to forget that they weren't alone while walking or riding the bus and they'd talk loud enough for him to hear when he wasn't too far away. He perhaps could have tried harder to avoid people and give them their space, and he almost had... until one day he'd overheard Jack Parker and his best friend Ryan talking about something so very interesting that it convinced him to never stop listening to people ever again.

Jack Parker was... an interesting person, let's start there. A few people were pretty sure that half the things he said were true out of sheer improbability. However, Jack was such an amazing liar that no one could prove him wrong, and after a while even the ones who disbelieved him the most fell for his confidence and charisma. He just SEEMED like he was telling the truth. Everyone believed Jack when he told them something happened, especially when he became a local hero for tutoring some boy from another school. Mikey.

Well, almost everyone believed him at least. His very best friend, Ryan, knew the truth because Jack had told him. And Y/n knew because he'd been within earshot when Jack had told Ryan in the first place.

It had been what usually happens. The two boys had been in the back of the bus, as they both got off at the last stop - along with Y/n. They didn't know this though, because Y/n sat in front of them, just a few seats. He didn't talk, or even move a lot. He even sunk a lot into his seat as he was quite small, and leaned against the window to look outside, one earphone in his ear. As usual, his weird talent to be invisible no matter how hard he tried - for god's sake he was wearing a neon red jacket that day - he went completely undetected. So when Jack had explained to Ryan that he had lied about Mikey, and what it meant for them, Y/n had been well within ear shot to hear the whole thing.

Y/n could have told someone. Probably should have. But he had... a sort of crush on Jack, and selling him out wouldn't get Y/n anywhere with getting on the boy's good side. Not to mention, there weren't many people that would believe him - if there were any at all. He probably could have figured out a way to show Jack up. To rip apart his tapestry of lies and expose him to everyone. But Y/n believed that mistakes should be learned from. If he exposed Jack now, all that would happen is that Jack's life would be ruined and Jack would hate him. Things would come out eventually, and hopefully it would be from Jack himself. If that damage had to be done, Y/n wasn't going to be the one to do it.

He never really was, though. He never did much of anything.

All of that being said, Jack and Ryan were not the only ones stunned when the very Mikey that had been a ruse, suddenly turned up at school. Solid and smiling and talking and very much real. He passed every test and followed through treating Jack exactly how you'd expect Mikey to be. With him came Jack's super hot girlfriend from Arizona, even though Jack was so obviously crushing on one of the girls at school - Jenny. If that hadn't been bad enough, Jack and Ryan themselves broke into the room where Y/n was having shop class, being chased by lumberjacks who seemed to have it out for Jack. Weirdly enough, that fit another one of Jack's lies - once he'd broken his arm apparently single handedly fighting off two lumberjacks, but Y/n had seen Jack at the bike park the day before, and had seen him fall and break his arm, so he'd known better. Seeing them here now worried Y/n. So of COURSE he offered to take the two men out of the school where they belonged, and used it as an opportunity to dip out of class and follow after Jack to see if anymore of the lies Jack had told had come true.

Maybe even figure out what the hell was going on, and stop it.

Jack probably didn't deserve it, but if this got serious then Jack would be in danger from lumberjacks and aliens and pro wrestlers alike - and those were just the lies Y/n had heard about. Life was hard enough without your life being in danger, and that directly putting others' lives in danger as well. Y/n usually sat back and did nothing, but this wasn't one of those times.

After school, Y/n decided to go home - he wasn't going to follow Jack THAT far. But only the very next day, the rumor that Jack had been outside Jenny's house covered in all kinds of different things - including makeup - Y/n realized that maybe Jack needed an extra pairs of eyes to help him out. Unfortunately, Y/n lost Jack pretty early in the day as none other than Mikey himself approached after having a short exchange with Ryan and Jack. "Hey!" he greeted warmly.

Y/n stared back for a few seconds. Mikey seemed to get uncomfortable - the first negative reaction he'd had to literally anyone his entire time being here. "Hi," Y/n finally responded evenly, narrowing his eyes.

The response seemed to cheer Mikey up again. "Now that I'm transferring schools and coming here permanently, I think I want to make friends outside of Jack. He seems to be close with everyone here on some level, except for you and a few others. Figured I'd try each of you guys until someone - or even all of you - want to be my friend too!"

That made Y/n smirk. "I know you're full of shit."

Apparently, Mikey hadn't been expecting that. "I'm sorry?"

Shaking his head, Y/n scoffed. "I know Jack lied about there even being a Mikey. If you're just here to psyche Jack out, or for some magic thing, why are you trying to be friends with ME? No one wants to be friends with me."

This time it was Mikey who didn't respond right away. "You're less invisible than you think. I saw you in the window yesterday, watching me and Jack. I also saw you take those lumberjacks out of the school, which probably saved the boys a lot of time. I also saw you following Jack around the rest of school after that. You're the only one in this entire school who seems to be questioning anything." He smirked. "I have a friend who would really appreciate your help, especially since you know the truth about Jack... if you wanted to get him back for it."

Okay that wasn't what Y/n had been expecting. "Will I finally know what's going on?" Mikey nodded. "Will I have to participate in duping Jack?"

Mikey only shrugged. "We'll see what she says. Probably not."

How could he say no? "Who's this she, and what are you guys up to?"

Finally, that huge grin returned to Mikey's face. "I'm so glad you asked."

When Hannah had finished explaining the lengths she'd gone to in order to shake Jack up enough to finally tell everyone all he'd been lying about, Y/n had only one thing to say. "So you're lying to him to get him to come clean about lying to everyone else? At least now we know for sure you're both related."

That made her go a little red. "Listen, you have a little sister. You bring her to the fun center all the time." To that Y/n had to nod. "I see the way you sort of blend. I've picked Jack up from school for enough years now that I also notice the way you look at him." Y/n went stiff and Hannah chuckled. "Listen. He's a tool, and I have NO idea what you see in him, knowing what you know. But if you help me do this, maybe I'll help you out with your dilemma."

Y/n crossed his arms over his chest, suddenly not in a very cheery mood. "As much as I appreciate the thought Hannah, I'd rather like him from a distance than have to be friends with a straight boy I've liked for years okay? I'll keep my mouth shut - don't make any other promises you can't keep. Especially because-" Y/n swallowed a thick something caught in his throat. "He likes someone else.

There was an odd look on Hannah's face, but it was hard to read and she wasn't about to explain it which was most clear when she just kept on talking. So Y/n dismissed the look altogether. "Fine, that's fair." They parted ways there as Y/n noticed Jack and Ryan walking over to head home. Y/n had left class early to talk to Hannah in the empty parking lot, but now his time was up. "See you around, Hannah. Good luck." She winked and the boys shot Y/n confused looks as they got in the car and he left. As he went, he could hear them asking Hannah who he was, but she just said that Y/n had been asking for advice because they worked together, and left it there.

With how easy the words had left Hannah, and with how much confidence she'd had, perhaps Jack's talent for lying was more of a family thing than Hannah would like to admit. The thought amused Y/n enough to cheer him up. For now at least.

The next day in PE very quickly ruined his mood again though, as they were set up to play dodge ball. Mikey ended up being one of the team leaders, and he chose Y/n first to be on his team. Everyone was surprised. No one ever picked Y/n first. Even standing in front of them dressed in bright blue and red, he still blended into the crowd and it was often that not until everyone else had been picked they even realized he was there at all. Unfortunately, Y/n knew why Mikey saw Y/n so clearly. Why Mikey had picked him first. And he wasn't happy about it.

During the games, Mikey didn't talk much to Y/n which was appreciated, but the attitude Y/n gave him every time they DID interact seemed to catch Jack's attention - exactly what he didn't want to happen. Especially when a few games in everyone was picked off one by one until Jack and Ryan stood against Y/n and Mikey. Two on two, with Jack's eyes trained on Y/n in a way that made Y/n feel like he was going to explode. Perhaps it was that exact energy that demanded to be used that had driven him to pick up a ball and throw it at Ryan, nailing the red head right in the chest. "Nice shot!" Mikey congratulated. Y/n rolled his eyes.

In his moment of distraction, Jack hit Y/n with a ball as well. Y/n looked over when he was hit and the two boys' eyes locked. Jack seemed to be asking a question Y/n didn't want to even look at. Didn't want to hear, let alone answer. So he ducked his head and dipped, bee lining it for the water fountain on the opposite end of the gym to wait out the rest of the game so he could have as little downtime as possible to interact with Jack. It was that action which caused him to miss Jack nailing Jenny in the face with a ball aimed for Mikey, but he'd hear enough about it later to plenty make up for it.

After class was lunch, and Y/n would have made it peacefully to his usual spot under the bleachers, but Hannah stopped him on the way. Y/n was expecting her to ask him to be nicer to Mikey, but her eyes were only full of concern. "Mikey told me what happened in PE. How Jack noticed you, and how you ran away. He said you looked upset."

Y/n sighed, his shoulders sagging. "Honestly I just..." He wasn't used to having someone care about him, or talking about his feelings. It felt so promising to finally be able to, but also terrifying. Perhaps he and Hannah were in cahoots now, but she had no reason to actually care about Y/n. She was probably only asking to make sure that he didn't slip and tell Jack anything, which gave the thought that once this whole thing was over, she wouldn't care anymore. That meant Y/n could NOT get attached to her. Temporary things weren't worth putting effort into. "Nothing. I'm just used to noticing, not being noticed. Mikey sort of drew attention to me when he picked me first and it threw me off." He shrugged. "Now if you'll excuse me-"

"Hannah?" The sound of his voice made Y/n freeze, perfectly still. Not even breathing. "Drive us to Funland."

"Please?" She prompted, eyes staying purposefully away from Y/n, who kept his back to Jack but was still unfortunately in full view of her.

"Hannah," Jack tried again, voice laced with irritation. "Drive us to Funland. Please." the last word came out sarcastic and sharp. Y/n felt himself relaxed, ever amused by Jack's unceasing attitude.

"No," Hannah answered bluntly, smirking as she crossed her arm. Y/n actually smiled, and that only served to encourage her even more.

"Come on," Jack complained.

Ryan seemed to be less sure about wanting to go though. "We can't go back there," he reminded urgently. "Otis banned us for life." Y/n shot a look at Hannah, whose smirk only grew. Y/n had known for a long time that she worked at Funland - after all, he did take his little sister there like she'd said. He was beginning to wonder what shenanigans he'd been missing out on.

"We have no choice," Jack argued, turning to his friend. "If we want to get rid of Mikey once and for all, we have to find that purple hippo."

That caught Y/n off guard, and without thinking he turned to face Jack, too confused to think clearly. "I'm sorry, you're looking for Hurley?"

Jack only then seemed to realized Y/n was there, and he stopped a second, as if realizing it was the same kid who's been playing dodge ball with Mikey. Ah yes, back to being invisible. "No," Jack picked up again. "We're talking about a purple hippo at Funland who stands around and hands out balloons."

"Yeah," Hannah said this time. "His name's Hurley. And he doesn't hand out balloons."

"Well, when Emma and I went yesterday, Bart was off," Y/n piped up, directing that at Hannah. He didn't want to address Jack yet, and every time he looked at Ryan, the red head had gears turning so visibly not even his narrowed eyes could hold it off.

"That explains it," Hannah affirmed, nodding.

Jack was the next one to pipe in. "How do you two know all this?"

Hannah answered that one. "Jack, I've worked there for two years. I see Y/n there all the time with his little sister."

"Seriously?" Jack's shoulder relaxed, and Y/n realized that he'd pieced together why Y/n and Hannah were so casually talking to each other. He must have paid as close attention to Hannah as he did to Y/n though, because Y/n and Hannah had never really talked until all of the recent stuff that had been happening.

That theory was confirmed when Hannah huffed, "Where did you think I was going for four hours every day after school?"

"Well I don't know." Jack's eyes went wide as he shrugged. "I was just happy you were out of the house." Hannah sighed and took Y/n's arm to drag him after her as she began to walk away. There was only a second before Jack trailed after them, desperation leaking into his voice. "Hannah," he pleaded. "Hannah, please!"

Hannah was strong. Y/n wasn't. He pulled out of her grasp, turning to face Jack. "If you're really set on finding Hurley for whatever weird breakdown you seem to be having, his main habitat is the jungle mini golf course. Look for him there, okay?"

Jack grinned. "I like your new friend Hannah. He's awesome."

Y/n looked away to hide his blush.

"Yeah yeah, now go," Hannah dismissed, and the two boys ran off to go find Hurley. She grinned at Y/n when they were gone. "You know I'm Hurley, right?"

Y/n winced. "I know that now."

She giggled. "It's fine. This could be a good thing actually. They seem lost - I'll give em a little nudge." She leaned closer, bumping her shoulder with his. Her finger on the other arm reached up to tap his nose. "Push him in all the right directions." She winked, and then took off walking without Y/n this time, leaving him with a sinking dread in his stomach.

He pushed it down to take Emily to Funland just like he always did though... which had been a mistake. He thought that it would have been a big enough place to avoid Jack and Ryan, but only an hour later they were heading out of the jungle mini golf course when Ryan walked up to them, which of course meant Jack followed after. "Hey, I never caught your name?"

Y/n wished in that moment he could just die on the spot. "It's Y/n," he answered, hoping that would make Ryan go away. Long story short: it didn't.

"You've been coming here with Emma for a few years," Ryan continued. "Do you have any idea who Hubert could be?”

"Hurley," Y/n corrected tiredly. Ryan nodded. Y/n let his eyes drift away, searching out Emma as she climbed the rock wall. Unlike Jack, he wasn't good at lying. People never asked him questions - they never talked to him at all. But he had to lie. On some level. He DID know who Hurley was, but he couldn't exactly tell Jack that. Damnit Hannah, why did she have to tell him?! "Not really," Y/n finally caved. Ryan rose an eyebrow. "I mean I saw Hurley without a head once when I first came here, but they were fired as far as I know so I'm assuming it's someone new. That was three and a half years ago." It was truthful in full. Aside from the just the story, he didn't really know Hannah personally. He could have told them he knew it was her now, but he just. Didn't. Everything else had enough truth to it that it wasn't hard to sell.

Jack stepped up. "This probably makes no sense to you, but I just wanted to thank you for helping out. I think I've seen you around school a few times, but we've never like talked or anything. I just have to ask... why ARE you helping?"

Y/n shrugged. "I hate lying, and there's no harm in telling you what I did." Only then did he look away from Emma again as she began to reach the bottom of the rock wall, directly into Jack's eyes. "You have a lot going for you. It would be a shame if some unexpected drama were to ruin everything else." Jack's eyebrows came together, but before he could say anything Emma had reached the bottom and had made her way over - as Y/n had intended.

"Who are your friends?" the ten year old asked.

"Not my friends," Y/n corrected in the same nonchalant voice he'd used to remind Ryan of Hurley's name. "Just people I got to school with. They were just leaving-"

Emma's eyes went wide. "Wait, you're Jack aren't you?" Y/n went stiff. "My brother used to talk about you all the time! You're like the coolest kid at his school."

Jack turned his raised eyebrows on again, still aiming them at Y/n. Y/n shrugged. "What teenager who goes unnoticed and completely uncared for doesn't want to be friends with the popular kid?" He put either of his hands on Emma's shoulders, steering her away. "Nice to see you guys, later!"

Unfortunately, Jack didn't leave it there. "No wait!" He jogged over and Emma stopped, which forced Y/n to as well. "You've been cool. I wouldn't mind being friends."

Ironically, Y/n flashed back to what he'd said to Hannah. How much he had so NOT wanted this exact thing to happen. But what could he say. 'Sorry don't want to be friends with my crush, that would suck'? He couldn't that. But else would make sense? "Sure," Y/n sighed.

For some reason, that made Jack smile. "If you guys are set on staying here for a while longer, you can, but you could also come hang out with me and Ryan at my house if you wanted."

Y/n went to decline, but Emma got to it first. "Only if I can come along," she stated firmly. "This is sibling time. You get to join, not interrupt."

"That's fair," Jack agreed. "Come on!" The four kids headed outside after getting Emma's shoes and stuff, ready to catch the bus back to Jack's house. Y/n was sweating bullets. Unfortunately, going to Jack's house was the least of his problems. The second they were outside, Jack froze. "Perhaps... we should cancel the whole going to my house thing," Jack began nervously. His eyes moved to the others slowly, fear in them. Y/n seemed to put together what had him immediately - another lie had come to life. As if on cue, Jack looked at Y/n and Emma before his eyes glued to Ryan with purpose. "Remember when I told Eric that I was late meeting him because I was abducted by aliens?"

Ryan immediately went tense, and Y/n went pale. All four pairs of eyes turned to the roof, following Jack's lead as they saw what he had. Two men, wearing odd glasses like Cyclops from the X-Men comics. They seem to look identical - down to the matching shiny, silver suits and black, polished shoes. Very... what one might assume... alien vibes.

"No," Ryan whispered, forcing himself to reject what he was seeing. "I absolutely do not remember. I refuse to remember!" He even turned away, eyes focused purposefully on the cement.

"Too late," Jack shot down, his voice full of regret and resigned fear. He looked at Y/n and Emma, and in that moment the look that Jack had on his face would be burned in Y/n's mind forever. This is the face Jack made when he told the truth. "They're back."

"There are no such thing as aliens," Emma argued, shaking her head even as she looked up at the two men on the roof with awe.

"Right!" Ryan agreed, getting his momentum back. "Those are just two dudes, you know, wearing weird suits, standing on top of a roof." Jack and Emma nodded along, but Y/n was the one who had kept his eyes glued on the men, so he was the one who first saw the very bad news.

"They're running down it!" He screamed, jumping back to push Emma behind him, protected for maybe only a second longer than if he'd just left her be.

The two men landed, removed their weird glasses to reveal glowing red eyes, and then opened their mouths to release a high pitched, terrible shrieking sound. Y/n was most disturbed by the fact that they seemed to be even more identical with the visors off. So when Jack said to run, all four of them did, taking off into the garbage and hopping into the back of a truck. The aliens ran by and they were home free... well, until they almost ran face first into the lumberjacks, who had been so good as to find Jack again - this time with even more friends in harm's way. They were all running again, booking it into the elevator and to the top floor where they came out on the roof of all places. Where, to everyone's luck, the lumberjacks also were as they'd taken the stairs. Where, just as well, the aliens were as well, having run up the long way - through the parking lot. Even Otis was here, on his little golf cart to run them down as well.

Just as all hope seemed to be lost, Jack's fake girl from Arizona - Y/n never learned her name - pulled up in a red convertible, yelling at the four of them to get inside. Emma, Y/n, and Ryan all piled eagerly into the back seat, but Miss Totally not Fake Girlfriend locked the car before Jack could join them - right after he thanked her too, which finally gave Y/n her name. Lisa.

"Not you," Lisa snapped.

"What?" Jack almost screamed. Y/n couldn't blame him - Otis, the lumberjacks, and the aliens were getting closer by the second.

"You broke my heart, Jackie Bear," Lisa whined. Y/n looked away, his hands curling into fists. Putting Jack's life on the line was NOT worth having a heart to heart. This was NOT the time - how selfish did someone have to be? She didn't have to come at all if she didn't want to help, so why wasn't she just doing it and then talking about it later? She could have locked all of them in the car once they were safe and not let him out until... but then was when Y/n realized what this was about. The fake danger would force Jack to spill his guts and be honest, even if he wouldn't have in literally any other situation. Hannah was a genius.

"Lisa, please," Jack pleaded. "Whatever you want, I'll make it up to you."

"You're just saying that because you're selfish and you don't want your brains sucked out of your skull by aliens." The sentence was ridiculous, but Lisa DID have a point. Jack was only using her as an escape - he didn't really care that he'd hurt her.

Jack finally cracked though, not having enough room to think rationally. "Okay what do you want me to say?" he snapped.

"The truth," Lisa stated firmly.

And then, for some reason, Jack looked directly at Y/n, and in his eyes was that same fear from earlier. Y/n realized that the high opinions of others meant everything to Jack. Even now, thinking his life was on the line, with Y/n in the car, he couldn't bring himself to say it. "Just tell her, Jack," Y/n demanded. "I know as well as Ryan does that this whole lying thing has gotten out of hand."

Stunned, Jack looked back to Lisa. His confusion was replaced by regret as he saw HER. The girl he'd hurt by blowing her off to hide her from Jenny. Jenny, who had been hurt by all the other lies as well. Y/n, who seemed to know Jack had been lying but seemed hurt anyway. In that moment, he realized that Y/n was right. This HAD gone too far.

"Why don't you want to be with me?" Lisa asked gently, leaving no room for half truths or cop outs.

Looking around, Jack finally took in his situation... and gave up. "I-" His eyes flickered to Y/n again before landing on Lisa solidly. "I made you up so my friends wouldn't make fun of me."

Lisa smiled. "Get in." The car unlocked and the door opened and Jack was inside, and then they were pulling away and headed to Jack's house.

It was dark when they pulled up and unbuckled. Jack turned to Lisa, thanking her. She only smiled. "I know how much you love trouble, Jackie. Someone's gotta watch out for you." Ryan's eyes found Y/n's in that moment, and Y/n got the terrible feeling he'd been officially wrapped up in something he'd been trying to avoid.

"Listen, I'm sorry I lied to you," Jack apologized now. "I never, ever meant to hurt your feelings. It's just... I'm kind of into someone else." Y/n found himself having to look away, but he didn't miss the way that Ryan caught the pain flickering across his features. He only hoped Ryan wouldn't put together why.

Lisa was unphased. "If you like this someone else so much, Jackie Bear, just... try being honest with them. No one wants a relationship built on lies."

Jack nodded, then looked at Y/n. Feeling his eyes, Y/n looked back. "Speaking of..." He rose an eyebrow and Y/n nodded, recognizing without saying it that they needed to talk. They all got out of the car, said goodbye to Lisa, and then stood there and watched her go. It was then that Jack turned to Y/n again. "How did you know Lisa was a lie?"

Y/n sighed, crossing his arms over his chest. "I know a lot of things about the people at our high school. I don't MEAN to, people just... don't notice me." He shrugged. "Say things without realizing I can hear you. I was in the bus with you guys when you told Ryan that Mikey was a lie. I was also at the park when you broke your arm on your bike, so I knew you lied about the lumberjacks. I'd hear the "my secret girlfriend in Canada" line so many times it was easy to put together that you were full of crap about that too. I eventually wrote off that most things you said that sounded ridiculous on any level, were. Like your Asian parents and the wrestler and Mikey's dog's bionic tail."

After a second, Jack let out a breath. "Why didn't you ever tell anyone?"

At this, Y/n could only bring himself to shrug. "I don't owe anyone anything, and there was no harm coming from it at the time. I mean, the other people lined up for Student of the Year were annoying, and that was as far as I knew when it came to who you were affecting. It's not my job to keep you from making your own mistakes - you have to be the one to tell them. You have to learn from it. Now more than ever. All of these things happening are affecting more than just you, and Lisa was right. Jenny has probably been hurt by the lying most of all." Jack went to argue, but Y/n just rolled his eyes. "Half the school can see the way you look at her, Jack, you're not lowkey." That shut Jack up immediately.

"Well," Ryan sighed. "Now we know how to fix the whole thing. It worked with Lisa, and it can work with the others too. You just have to tell the truth - that isn't hard."

But then a look crossed over Jack's face, and Ryan and Y/n seemed to realize what he was thinking without him having to open his mouth. "Jack..." Y/n whispered softly.

"I'm just so CLOSE, you guys!" He huffed, looking at the with desperation. "Student of the Year gets announced tomorrow."

"Are you crazy?" Ryan snapped. "After everything we've been through?"

"The hippo said I have to confess to everyone. He never said when," Jack reasoned. "I'll just do it after Student of the Year. You even said it yourself Y/n - those kids are annoying anyway. I'm showing people that grades and crap don't matter - heart does! That's a GOOD thing."

Y/n stepped away when Jack reached a hand out to put on Y/n's shoulder. "But you're not winning on good character, Jack. You're winning through lies. Lies that are becoming a serious problem. And what do you think will happen when they realize you've been lying even after you got the award? You think there are aliens and lumberjacks coming after you and anyone close to you, but you still prioritize what? Being a bat boy?" He shook his head, grabbing Emma's hand. "I was wrong about you Jack. I thought every teenager was afraid of being hated and invisible. I thought you did it because you cared about being able to do the cool things you can - like stop bullies two years older than you from messing with other kids, or getting a whole school to rally together through love and excitement. But the only thing you're doing it for is the glory, and you care more about that than your friends and family." Jack went to say something, but Y/n just shook his head. "I was stupid to have a crush on you. You suck." And then without seeing Jack's reaction, he turned and walked away.

He figured that after his little confession, Jack wouldn't try to be friends with him anymore. Before, he'd been silently afraid of that. No matter what he told himself, he wanted Jack to see him and smile. To know he existed and to enjoy being around him. Yesterday, or just a few minutes ago even, that would have been enough...

Now, Y/n didn't care in the least. If that was how Jack treated people he saw, Y/n was just fine curling up in the shadows and never having Jack look at him again.

#Jack Parker #liar liar pants on Fire #pants on fire #Disney #Disney XD #Disney x reader #Disney imagine #Jack Parker x reader #jack parker x male reader #Jack Parker imagine #Disney XD imagine #Disney XD x reader #male reader #Bradley Steven Perry #Bradley Perry #Bradley Perry x reader #Bradley Perry x male reader #Bradley Steven Perry x reader #Bradley Steven Perry x male reader

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julies-butterflies · 3 years

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Honestly, your writing reminds me a lot of the buffyverse. Just the perfect balance of humor and sadness and romance and heart that just feels like a vivid window into the world you've created.

God the Body...the best forty minutes of television I may never watch again. I've rewatched Willow and Tara's kiss (because I'll adore them forever), but just...the weight of it. It took me a full month to work up the nerve to watch the episode, to be ready to cry that much.

What you said about not wanting people to suffer, because of your work...It's never once felt like that for me. And I've cried a LOT while reading your work. I'll try to explain it the best I can

Grief can be so isolating, and disorienting. Your world goes topsey-turvey, supports you took for granted go flying into the abyss and suddenly it's a minefield of those glass shards. And no one's grief is identical. No two circumstances are the same. It's not possible for anyone else to know exactly how you feel, because no two hearts break alike.

Sometimes, it's because people just don't understand. Sometime's it's because they no longer want to. But some days, that feeling of aloneness can be crushing.

Then one night, I stumbled upon Let These Shadows Fall Away Like Dust. That one hit me way harder than I was ever expecting. The question of how to grieve the living, the dilemma on when forgiveness is deserved...Alex's anger, his devestation, the rawness of it all....That's my broken glass. Those are concepts I've been struggling for over a year. I'm still picking up pieces every day.

I sobbed, because it was such a relief. To see the feelings that had been scrambled up in my mind just reflected there, on my screen. The reminder I had desperately needed, that I was not alone. That even though my circumstances were different, I was not the only one trying to unravel those messy emotions.

Then again, I also read your deathfic for fun, so maybe I'm not the best judge of this. I tend to like angst. I tend to get a lot of "WHY WOULD YOU MAKE IT THAT SAD" in group chats :D

Please don't feel any pressure to respond to me quickly or anything. I never mind the wait. I'm so sorry for the rough times. Wishing that you and your family gets whatever you need to help ease your storm. Sending love and support as well.

(sorry for all the metaphors. I'm super sleepy and apparently, I resort to purple prose when tired lol)

I know exactly what you mean about Emily. I understand why people don't like her, but I just love to see her written as such a grey character. It's just so much more powerful when the love is so clearly there.

I mean, that's what a tragedy is, really. Love cut short. Grieving a future that could have been everything, if fate had not been cruel. I don't know if you know musical theater, but I like to think about the Barber and His Wife, from Sweeney Todd: the whole tragedy of that show, is that they were happy all together, and then permanently broken. How their paths keep crossing, but they never connect to heal. Never lost, but never found.

And that's the tragedy of Luke and Emily: too stubborn and too late. You find that grey area, the messiness so well, and just bring it all out so wonderfully. You do the same with Bobby/Trevor, ESPECIALLY in the horror and the wild. God, that absolutely devestated me. I'm not a big fan of horror in general, and I haven't explored the genre that much but...if all horror is like yours then DAMN, I might just have to become a fan.

This got super long (lol) so I'll wrap it up now but! THE SIC FIC QUEENS TOGETHER???? When I tell you I lost it.... all too well Bobby and what you've lost reggie in the same story are killing me. I am hooked and incredibly hyped. Loved both updates so far, and cannot wait to see where the story goes!

Oh yeah and I forget: I have to ask, do you have a fan cast of the one, the only, the incredible Keith Richards? (and that goblin is so cute!!! I really want to pet the blood thirsty monster. So badly)

Love, your totally-not-undead-pen-pal, :D

-Vampire Anon

Know musicals? Vampire Anon my beloved, I am a musical theatre bitch. Take a look at my high school graduation cap! (Anastasia is my favorite musical... something about the themes of home, love, and family, the idea of always finding a place in the world even after enduring incredible hardship, that anything is survivable with faith and love in your heart... I'm also a Romanov history bitch, and Christy Altomare is such an incredible talent and human being.) Literally, talk to me about musicals anytime!

And yeah, I definitely see your metaphor... the tragedy of The Barber and his Wife was how close they came to each other throughout the whole show, existing within reach the entire time, after being separated for so long. But it wasn't the same; it never could be. Time and trauma had changed them both into something unrecognizeable, and when they came face-to-face, they could only hurt each other. At a certain point, the ghosts of your past are meant to stay ghosts. Sure, you might want them back more than anything --- but what would it mean? What would you truly be getting back?

Luke's "back", of course, and he comes home to visit his parents multiple times... but they're not the same people he left. They're older, greyer, changed by grief... while he's just the same. A snapshot forever frozen in time, a memory crystalized in amber. You can't hold memories in your hands. You can't pull them close and refuse to let them go. Eventually, they'll slip away... and to Mitch and Emily, a memory is all their son is, now. That's what's so heartrending about the situation we see in the show, especially --- so much love still exists between all of them, but it has no place to go.

Okay, sorry, it's 3am here and I'm rambling too, haha --- mentioning musical theatre was a mistake.

I'm so glad my stories have been able to connect with you, especially 'shadows' --- that one resonated with a lot of people, more than I ever realized it would. It's not the most personal story to me... but definitely one that needed to be told, and the emotion in it... hits home for a lot of people. It means so much to me knowing that story, and Alex's internal struggle, has made people feel less alone.

I think I'm going to have a hard time looking back on that one, though. We were staying at my aunt's house for the weekend where I wrote most of it; I read a few excerpts to her, and she said she liked it. She was always interested in my writing... I kind of wish I'd gotten the chance to share more of it with her.

Like you said. Grief's a funny thing. Disorienting, relentless, and crushing.

Please just remember, though --- whatever you're dealing with, you're not alone. You don't have to cut yourself on those broken pieces... one day, you'll wake up, and realize you feel whole again. It will never feel the same, and the pain will always be there... but healing around it is what makes us stronger. You don't owe anyone your forgiveness; it's okay to grieve when you've lost something, regardless of whether death has taken them from you. Grief doesn't have to be earned, it simply has to be felt.

You'll be stronger for it, in the end. I'm sorry you've been hurting so much.

Anyways! Oh gosh! On to lighter, happier topics! Please tell me...

What are your favorite fics? (Like, my fics, obviously, which fics of mine do you just go gaga over? Please praise me or else my ego will shrivel like a worm on hot pavement.) No, okay, I'm kidding --- what are your top fics for this fandom? Like, what are the ones that really resonate with you, that you could read over and over? The JATP fandom has so many greats, but I'm always drawn back to Some Killer Queen You Are by pearlcaddy (buffyverse meets jatp!! iconic!!), Lantern's Light by thefairhero (literally the SOFTEST reggie), the sky's not empty tonight by firefall (just... devastating and beautiful in a dozen ways), and literally anything by foundfamilyvevo.

How long have you been in the JATP fandom? Who are your favorite characters? What's your favorite JATP song?

And finally, most importantly... what are your favorite musicals?

(also... since u asked... behold keith richards and tremble)

#vampire anon my beloved #also... vampire anon... you're a writer #i can tell!! i can read it in your words #youre so eloquent and put things so beautifully #do you write fic?? have you posted any for jatp??

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stories-and-sails · 4 years

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Marmageddon: The Paranormal Romance No One Wanted (An Excerpt)

“I've tried to tell this story a thousand ways. When you get to my age…” “You're twenty-four.” “Ahem. When you get to my age, you realize that stories aren't as simple and straightforward as they seem.” “You're not my grandpa. Cut to the chase.”

It started when that marmot bit me. I mean, obviously that's how it started. He was underneath my truck when I—well, that part isn't important. It started when that marmot bit me, and the first full moon after that, I transformed into a marmot. I'll spare you the denial and disbelief. I mean, would you believe it if you woke up in the body of a rodent, lying in the middle of your front lawn in a pool of decapitated grasses, hands and face smeared with mud? I had become a monster. I had become the thing I feared most.

“You’re being extreme,” “You can't understand. You're not were.” “And you're not a were-wolf. You didn't bite anyone or maul any innocent villagers.” “Still. The shock. The horror. Like I said, I'll spare you the details about coming to terms with who I had become. It wasn't pretty. In time, I’ve come to accept myself. That I have appetites for things that normal men don't.” “Oh my gosh, Hunter. People eat vegetables all the time.” “Rabbit food. It's not natural.” “Are you going to tell the story, or are you going to keep being ridiculous?”

You have to understand that when you first become a were-marmot, the changes aren't voluntary. You can be in the middle of driving your truck, and hear a strange noise, and BAM, you've got your little marmot paws clinging onto the steering wheel and no way to reach the brakes. Or you'll be in the middle of scurrying into the burrow when suddenly you get this funny feeling in your gut and WHAM, you're raising the roof. Literally. That's a problem for people like us, of course. Lot of the new guys don't ever make it through the first few months.

It wasn't like I could just call into work for four months straight. And who was I supposed to tell? “Hey can you come check in on me at the house? Might turn into a marmot and not be able to reach the door handles.” No. This was the kind of thing I had to handle on my own.

So there I was at work, standing out by the shed with the guys and waiting to see if the rain was going to let up or get worse, but then I saw this marmot running through the field. Every now and then he'd stand back on his haunches and wave his little paws in the air like he was trying to get our attention. Shoot. I knew right away it was Swiftpaw. They would have sent him to warn me, but only if there was a real problem. The guys were starting to notice that something weird was going on, and worse, Emma had decided he looked tasty.

“Emma,” I said, leaning down next to her ears. “Calm down, girl. That's a friend, not a food.” But her eyes were fixed on him, and she was getting that crazy predator glint in them. Maybe I could have gotten her to calm down, only at that moment, I felt a weird twinge in my gut. Not a “shouldn't have eaten those pickled eggs” twinge. A transformation twinge.

“Uh,” I grunted. “I gotta..” I started running for the corner of the building, hoping I'd get there before I shrunk enough to notice, especially since all the guys had turned around to watch me run, laughing and calling encouragement. For all they knew, I’d been making an awful lot of sprints to the bathroom lately. You're wondering about my clothes, right? When I told you that I kept transforming in the middle of daily activities, you wondered what happened to my clothes every time. This is what: I ran right out of my shoes first, and then collapsed, writhing as fur sprouted from every inch of my body and my teeth and snout elongated. When it was over, I was surrounded on all sides by denim. I've chewed my way out of more pairs of pants than most folks have.

I managed to wiggle out of this pair without chewing and dragged them to a corner where I hoped they’d go unnoticed by the guys. I didn't want to answer the questions if they found every article of clothing I wore that day dropped on the floor of the shop. Again.

After wrestling around with my clothes like that, I'd lost some time, so I scooted on out to see if Swiftpaw was still in the field.

I stood up on my hind legs and sniffed the air, sensing the many details that human noses just don't get. Not to put too fine a point on it, but there are a lot of different poop scents around a farm. A whole mosaic of them, really. But I didn't have long to stop and smell the, uh, roses. Emma had chased Swiftpaw to the top of a fencepost and was leaping around, barking her head off. Most of the guys were just standing there laughing. At least Hinkley was trying to call Emma off whenever he managed to catch his breath.

This was going to call for a decoy run.

Letting out a chittering whoop, I scurried down the hill.

You notice how fast marmots are when you hunt them. I've noticed it before. They’re fast. They boogie. But you don't realize until you've been one of them how fast it feels to go flying over the ground, the long grass whipping against your cheek pouches, paws barely skimming the earth.

“Okay, you're not a thoroughbred racehorse, either.” “Well. No. But it feels really fast, okay?” “Sure. So you were sprinting majestically across the field.”

To rescue my friend from Man's Best Friend. Right.

Luckily, Emma seemed to think that a sprinting target was even more fun than a fixed one, and she ran after me, which gave Swiftpaw enough time to get down from the fencepost and make for the burrow.

Unfortunately, Emma seemed to think the sprinting target was more fun than the fixed one, and within seconds she was hot on my heels.

“No!” I shouted over my shoulder. “Emma! Bad dog. No chase. Go home.” I swear I saw a flicker of recognition in her eyes, even though I didn't speak with my human voice. It was almost like she knew who I was. Which would have been impressive if she hadn't watched me transform in front of her own eyes about fourteen times since I'd been infected.

“Emma!” I shouted. “It's me! I buy you dog food and let you sleep in my bed. Do not kill me.”

Her momentary confusion bought me enough time to scoot my butt into the burrow, and she couldn't follow. She sniffed and scratched around the entrance for a few moments, and several of the marmots in the little burrow turned to give me irritated looks.

“Sorry,” I offered. “She followed me home.”

Loosetooth's head popped into the room. “Hunter. You're here. We sent Swiftpaw to warn you of the danger.”

I grimaced. “Yeah. Maybe next time he should—you know, kind of sneak around the back instead of running up doing semaphore signals.”

She waved away my suggestion. “There's no time for subtlety now. Rumor has it the Marmoth has been spotted to the east.”

I chill ran through my fur, even though I didn't know what she was talking about. “The what?”

“The Marmoth” she repeated solemnly. I saw several of the nearby marmots pause to look at her, their eyes seeking confirmation.

“It cannot be,” one of them said in a hushed whisper.

“We believe that it is true. That the Marmoth has returned,” she turned back to me, and I could see that her fur was standing on end and her eyes were huge in fear. “The Marmoth is like you and I. He once was human and now is marmot. But he is—really, really large.”

“Okay…”

“He never settled between human and marmot. Instead, he is caught between. A marmot the size of a man.”

“Okay…” I repeated. I was waiting for, something scary. Like, he was really big and could shoot snakes out his nose. Or, he was really big and had an army of snakes. Or, he was really big and—

“Well. Don't you see?”

I squinted. “Uh, no? You're saying he's the size of a human. But so am I, most of the time.”

She dismissed this too. “I should have known one of the new pups would not understand the danger we face from the Marmoth. But rest assured, those of us who remember know the danger. He destroyed more than one den when last he passed through.”

Murmurs of agreement spread around the group, and several of them were looking at me with expressions of disgust.

“Okay, okay!” I held my paws up in front of my chest. “He's a big deal. We need to chase him off. Is that right?”

I'd made the mistake one time of saying that I could shoot something while I was in my human form, and the entire marmot community had shunned me for a week. It left me feeling strangely bereft. I'd put my gun in the back of the closet and replaced “shoot” in my vocabulary with “chase off.” Where it was appropriate, I mean. I wasn't about to go ask the guys if they wanted to chase off some pool. There was a lot of context involved with switching between forms like I did all the time.

Anyway, the marmots looked at me like this was a really shocking suggestion. “You wouldn't say that if you'd met him. If you'd seen what he could do. What he has done.”

How scary could some oversized rodent be? I wasn't trying to downplay their fear, but I was pretty sure my colony could “chase him off” if need be. “You speak of what you do not know,” she intoned. “Go home. You will see the devastation there.”

That was enough to make me want to human back up, but I couldn't just flip the switch. Besides, I was still stuck in the middle of the burrow, and I needed to scoot on out of there before turning back into a human.

“Great,” I said. “I'll see you there.”

I'll be honest. When I first turned, I didn't think I was going to get too involved in the inner workings of the marmot people. I mean, they were animals, and I was a human, so what could we possibly have in common? But it's a lonely thing, being a were-marmot. Even your own dog will turn against you, and eventually you start turning to the company of those like you. Or like you in some way. Within the marmot colonies, there were a lot of folks that were pure marmot, never human. There were a number of were who, once they could actually control the shifting, chose to stay marmot most of the time. There were those of us who'd been made through an infected bite, and were-marmots that had been born because their parents were were. We didn't all have the same view on everything, but they understood better what I was dealing with than any of the full-time humans I knew. None of them had even heard of were-marmots. So even if my colony was a little extreme sometimes, and even if they did like to eat unspeakable things, I liked them. If this Marmoth was a danger to them, I couldn’t take it lightly.

“Were they right? When you got home, I mean, was it as devastating as they said it would be?” ... “Hunter? Hunter, are you okay? You're kind of spacing out.” “Oh. Oh, right. I was just remembering.”

#Shortstories #marmots #writblr #i finally finished it

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bayie94s · 6 years

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See as it is, called as it is.

It has been a rough two years. It was fast, bumpy road and quite frustrating at times. Lost most of my friends, for this relationship. But thank god, I've managed to pull it off. What's amazing is that, I have learnt plenty of things and gone through crazy things along my journey. And by far, this relationship I had with a FIVE year gap of mine has opened up my eyes and also been a huge turning point for myself.

Honeymoon Period (2016)

I must say, the beginning of every meet-ups are all sweet & flowery. There are butterflies everywhere, even when you're asleep. Till I woke up a day in disbelief and shocked that I received a message on Facebook from her Mum about like a week after we known each other. I was like, okay. That was the coolest thing I have ever encounter, for the rest of my life. And that point of time, I remember I still busting my arse off in Cold Storage after a month after ORD. That morning I was invited to her house for the first time and was ask to meet her family. Get to know and stuff like that. Personally, I thought it is just too fast for all that. BUT you know, as a sign of formal respect for the elderly. Why not? I agreed and went ahead.

BAD VIBES .

So after some time, I got that close and gain that level of trust. We are good. But I still have doubts from some of them. I chose to ignore and go on. Bcos why would you even want to bother about a rotten apple anyway. And also I'm starting to be little spooky about the whole thing at some point of time. Because first of all. When I meet person A, they tend to talk about person B. When you're out with person B. They will talk about person A. So I met C, they will talk about person A too. I'm having doubts now because in a long RUN. I would def-ly be "Person D". I literally fall into deaf ear about all of the entire problems that they had internally. I'm in love with my cutie, that's all I know. I do not want to risk and get involve with all these unnecessary things.

Career or Love ?

Good question. Moving out from my level of comfort zone, I went out from my hometown and left my retail days behind. For a better exposure for myself and yes, I am prepared. So went through hell days back in camp with Aetos. It has been a great experience, great friends and hell ya I am super excited! What a career indeed. So passed out from camp days, been out working for three months. Enjoyed my joining bonus and did the extra mile, rather than giving my own mum. I helped out her mum by handing a quite a sum of money for the sake of helping cause I feel she needs it more than my family. At that point of time. To be honest, I date to marry. As I sat down guarding my post while on duty. I ponder and realize.... Is this the correct time for me to pursue for my career and get married?? (Well that point of time I have a choice. To leave her OR my job). So obviously I chose love over my career. It's not balance for us now. Cause she's not schooling, whatsmore working. She is none of the above. We can't click and not even at the same level nor page. This is the toughest decision that I had made in my entire career. If this thing backfires, halaluyah to me.

Independent .

So it has been quite awhile we have been together. Seen her flaws and she sees mine. The good thing I like about her, she really put this matter into place. At such a young age as low as 18 years old when I met her. She already have the mindset and integrity. I can see how much it means for her. Put aside on how I'd pamper her. I doubt it is all about my money. From the first impression, I knew she is the girl that I would die for. I would sacrifice everything & I mean EVERYTHING. Having said that, there are a few things that is lacking. I am still not confident until it's proven. Such as,

Still afraid to be lost in SG

Not be able to go school by Public Transportation

Unable to balance school and work

Still not confident enough to stand up for her own rights

Still fall sick every month

By said, how am I suppose to focus on my career? I dont care what you buffalo's have to say. Because as long as she needs me, I'll takecare of her whether you like it or not.

Use-less to Use-FULL.

She had been complaining and feeling useless to everyone. She wants to be a better person and someone whom can be rely on. I feel her. So finally got her motivated and keep telling her that the slowest will eventually wins the race. And she did. She went sorts of organizations just to see where it fits. (Feel like bursting into tears, remembering all these back). I took up Full-Time Mcdelivery Rider for flexibility, for her sake. And to ride her around streets just to get her motivated and not give up. And really sort of find a place that could really enjoy herself, while finding fr her passion. So, she decided to took up HMI courses. For basics. We heard number of feedbacks regarding the course (I do take feedbacks seriously).

Not be able to do much as how nurses do

Just a backbone (No different than a phillipino maid task)

Wash people shit

Course completed, at the end & did not pursue for HMI as a career. Certificate obtained. 👍

If you don't get the support from your family, find it somewhere else .

Motivated her once again, neglecting my own career for her future. We sat down and just sort of talk all day. So she decided to took up O's. Now, along the way I can tell you. I had enough of her numbers of complaint. I am so shag and my ears are sore. But however, remaining positive at it is. Time and time again, I motivated and encouraged her. Because these are the times when a person is in need of moral support. From her family or friends. If your family doesn't provide that. Like how I went through, Then Get it from someone else. After a long wait, finally. She passed as I have expected.

The backfire, Bad Vibes twisted (Person D as expected)

As expected. This day will come. And it did. I scream my lungs out, we both guys were ready to show what we got. And as expected, truth doesnt comes out and both of us got knocked down verbally by whole bunch. It's absurd because six ears and six eyes knows the truth and when the truth leaks. All left standing in daze and not knowing the truth. But I have better plans on my next round. Fingers crossed. (basically we are now "Person D" as expected).

Turning Over .

After everything that happen, here is the video of us. Expressing our fresh start, reaching out rebellious us of not trusting and breaking our freedom free. As of now, we are not tolerating any dramas and purely focusing our life. And achieving what's best for us. For the near future. Our tumblrXblog ends by this video on my next post.

Regards,

Faris Roslan

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